DeAnna Pappas Opens Up About Dating After Divorce: ‘I Believe There Is Someone Out There for Me’

US Weekly

Transcript

00:00Forgive me, I don't want this to sound really stupid, but I feel like I'm destined for something

00:03really great, you know, in my life. And I feel like I'm destined for a really great relationship.

00:10And I did The Bachelor and I did The Bachelorette and it was a unique way to meet someone.

00:16But I believe it was a really awesome way. I have a very busy life. I do not date. I, you know,

00:24I'm not complaining that I'm not meeting anybody because I'm not trying. I'm in my house and I'm

00:28locked up and I'm ready for bed by 830 at night. So when Amy presented me, presented me the

00:34opportunity to be a part of Famously Available, I jumped at the concept. Like, I just think it's

00:39a really great idea. You know, the funny thing is, is that I truly believe that we go through

00:48hardships, joy, fulfillment, trials in life to make ourselves better. I personally believe

01:00I am put on this earth to work on me. Like, that's all that I can do is to grow, be better,

01:07do better, like change who I am. I want to get as close to what my soul is here on this earth for.

01:17That's what I want to be. And heartache comes along with that. And I've had my fair share of

01:25heartaches, some of which played out on national television, you know, when I was just a freaking

01:29kid. And a lot of that was in my marriage and in divorce. And I won't allow any of that to break

01:41who I am. I just won't because I believe in partnership and I believe in companionship.

01:46And at the end of the day, to be honest, I believe there is someone out there for me.

01:52I truly do. Like, I believe there is someone who will love me and accept me and all of my good and

01:57all of my bad. Because listen, I know it must be hard to hear, but there are a couple of things

02:03things about me that I could probably work on and refine. I'm being silly, but it is true. I know

02:14about myself now. And again, I've always been an advocate for mental health. At every opportunity

02:23in my life, I have chosen to dig deep, to go to therapy, to look within, to work on myself, to nurture

02:31this inner child who has missed so much. I choose people who don't choose me. And that's my fault. And I very

02:43much want to work on that part of me because I think deep down, you know, I come off as

02:54this incredibly confident woman. And I am. But deep down, there's this girl who doesn't think that

03:03she is worthy of being loved and accepted as she is. And I need to nurture her and tell her that

03:10she is. So I'm a fixer. And in my past, I have chosen people who need some fixing. And I believe

03:21that I'm the one to do it. It was a decision that was not made lightly. I did not want divorce.

03:27I did not choose divorce. There were moments in my life where I literally begged my husband

03:37on hands and knees to choose me, to love me. But it was a decision that was not made. We

03:45had been separated for some time. And looking back, I know it was the right decision. There

03:55were beautiful moments. And there were also really hard moments in our marriage. And I

04:03believe that when the greater world saw an announcement that we were choosing to end our marriage, it

04:10became as a shock because you don't necessarily go on Instagram and say, holy shit, we had this

04:16knockdown drag out fight last night. And my husband chose to leave. And I chose to stay. And it

04:23became really ugly. No, you just don't do that. Right? There are parts of that where it's our

04:28ego. You don't put the dirty laundry out. But I would also say, because I am loyal to a fault.

04:35I am loyal to a fault to myself. And Mike, I paid thousands of dollars in therapy to learn

04:40that. So I am loyal to a fault to myself. I have been, um, I've been taught my whole life

04:49to keep other people's secrets. And I do that. I nurtured my marriage and I did what I thought

04:58was right. And I kept things between my ex-husband and I to protect the sanctity of our marriage,

05:08of our family, of our relationship. So I think that, you know, people who watch the show, fans,

05:15people who follow us, and even some friends, even some friends were deeply shocked by our

05:20choice to, um, part ways. Um, and that's okay. I felt, I felt okay with that.

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