- 3 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30THE END
00:01:00I am not interested in your problems, Agent Karloff.
00:01:09I am only interested in getting our property back
00:01:11and getting rid of their agent permanently.
00:01:30The END
00:01:40This is Banner.
00:01:44I must meet you.
00:01:47Well, I can finish up here later.
00:01:50Sure.
00:01:51When can we meet?
00:01:52Not tomorrow.
00:01:54I've got a little side trip I've got to take first.
00:01:57The next day, then?
00:01:58I could meet you Thursday night in L.A., though.
00:02:00At the Bonaventure?
00:02:01Yeah, at the Bonaventure.
00:02:02Sure.
00:02:03Okay.
00:02:04All right, Miss Karloff.
00:02:05Eight-ish?
00:02:06Eight-ish it is, then.
00:02:08Okay.
00:02:09Sorry, Ling.
00:02:12Got to go.
00:02:13But maybe we can pick this up another time, huh?
00:02:16Or even another lifetime, darling.
00:02:20Ciao.
00:02:20Bye.
00:02:20Oh, my God.
00:02:50Oh, what a waste.
00:02:56Francois, are you coming?
00:02:57Oui, monsieur.
00:02:59At least, monsieur Banner, I got my gun off.
00:03:04God, I love this job.
00:03:06I'm living on the edge
00:03:31Without a prayer in sight
00:03:34You've got me walking on a land
00:03:39In the darkest part of night
00:03:44Standing at the end
00:03:47With so much left to learn
00:03:51You know that you're my only friend
00:03:55I've got nowhere left to turn
00:03:59I'm living on the end
00:04:04Standing all alone
00:04:07I'm walking on a land
00:04:12With nowhere left to go
00:04:15But one day I'll be free
00:04:19And I'll step down off the ledge
00:04:24Until it's over
00:04:26I'll be living on the end
00:04:34When I'm alone with you
00:04:40The world becomes so clear
00:04:44But then the moments are so few
00:04:48When I can have you near me
00:04:52So much time to work
00:04:57So little time to play
00:05:00I guess it's just my love in life
00:05:05And a heavy price to pay
00:05:08I'm living on the edge
00:05:13Just standing all alone
00:05:17I'm walking on a land
00:05:20With nowhere left to go
00:05:24And one day I'll be free
00:05:29And one day I'll be free
00:05:30And I'll step down off the ledge
00:05:33Until it's over
00:05:35I'll be living on the edge
00:05:41When it's over
00:05:46Truly over
00:05:50I'll be waiting for you
00:05:57When it's over
00:06:00When it's over
00:06:04Truly over
00:06:06Truly over
00:06:07I'll be here
00:06:10With you
00:06:14I'm living on the edge
00:06:25Just standing all alone
00:06:28I'm walking on a land
00:06:32With nowhere left to go
00:06:36But one day I'll be free
00:06:40And I'll step down off the ledge
00:06:45Until it's over
00:06:47I'll be living on the edge
00:06:52Where the hell is that unreliable son of a bitch?
00:07:04How come you can be on time and he can't?
00:07:05He's here, sir
00:07:06I saw him in his quarters last night
00:07:08I'll bet you did
00:07:09I thought you two were through again
00:07:10Listen, why don't you just give this to him?
00:07:13I'm sick and tired of sitting around
00:07:14Waiting for the great Mr. Banner
00:07:16Who called?
00:07:20Well, hi, y'all
00:07:21What the hell is she doing here?
00:07:25Well, why don't you just think of me
00:07:27As your report card, by the way?
00:07:29No, Mr. E counts on me
00:07:31To protect the special interests
00:07:33Of these special operations
00:07:35You're doing a swell job, Chesney
00:07:37Just what I need
00:07:38A goddamn watchdog
00:07:39Just keep it up, Python
00:07:44And you're a dead man
00:07:49You know, Python
00:07:53It's really good to see our two agencies
00:07:56Working together again
00:07:57On this mission, Hotshot
00:08:00You're working for me
00:08:01Oh, is that a fact, Colonel?
00:08:03As long as I outrank you, it is
00:08:05Gentlemen, I believe we have a job to do
00:08:08All right, just run it down, Python
00:08:11It's pretty cut and dry, Sonny
00:08:13But if you need me to explain it to you
00:08:16You've got to go someplace you're not supposed to be
00:08:18To take out a radar installation
00:08:20That's not supposed to exist
00:08:21And there's one more thing, Super Spy
00:08:24I want you to remember that it's because of you
00:08:27I lost my legs in the interest of interagency cooperation
00:08:32Now you get the hell out of here before I really get mad
00:08:37And I want you to check with me every step of the way
00:08:41And if you need backup, I'm your contact
00:08:44You understand, trust me
00:09:07I want you to check with me
00:09:37Okay, Banner, it looks like the camp is just a half a mile to the east
00:09:49We might as well take it down
00:09:55Hey, did you get a good look at that radar unit?
00:09:58Yeah, yeah, there's only a couple of guys around
00:10:00It looks like a piece of cake
00:10:01Well, hell, Jake
00:10:03Let's go get a piece
00:10:04Oh, please, Banner
00:10:06Oh, God
00:10:36Oh, Jack, I'm giving you your 38, would you?
00:11:05What?
00:11:07Just, uh, a little extra protection for me.
00:11:14Daddy Yankee?
00:11:17Buenos dias, senorita.
00:11:21Come on, Banner, let's blow this pop stand.
00:11:24This?
00:11:25I'm sure our comrades will get a bang out of this one.
00:11:27Here, take an end to this, will you?
00:11:35I'll see you next time.
00:11:55BIRDS CHIRP
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00:15:11guitar solo
00:15:41guitar solo
00:16:11guitar solo
00:16:21Black Panther, Black Panther, what's the status of our man?
00:16:38guitar solo
00:16:40Banner's made it into the compound where the Cubans are storing that JVQ radar jamming unit.
00:16:47That guy for small miracles.
00:16:49You were right.
00:16:51It is compact.
00:16:53Maybe even mobile.
00:16:55Could be a very serious threat.
00:16:57The only serious threat out there is that son-of-a-bitch banner.
00:17:03All right, just stick to the script and get the job done.
00:17:07Yes, sir.
00:17:07Whatever it takes.
00:17:08Just this plan.
00:17:09Imagine if you want to open the reveal.
00:17:12Oh, God, yeah.
00:17:15Oh, God.
00:17:17Oh, God.
00:17:25Oh, God.
00:17:27Oh, God.
00:18:36Shit.
00:18:38Stratfish, he broke banner, my friend.
00:18:54It's been a long time.
00:18:56Too long.
00:18:58Too bad.
00:18:59Our big visit will be short.
00:19:04American pig.
00:19:06What the hell is he to now?
00:19:10Lieutenant.
00:19:11Yes, sir?
00:19:12Take it there's a problem.
00:19:13Yes.
00:19:14We might need some backup.
00:19:15I figured you as much.
00:19:16What's your position?
00:19:17Banner's coordinates, they're 457.7 latitude, 52.8 longitude.
00:19:25He's got about 30 seconds, sir, to make a splash, or should I say a bang?
00:19:31All right, just get on with it.
00:19:32Play it safe and cover your ass.
00:19:34Get out of there, with or without Banner.
00:19:37Yes, sir.
00:19:38Yes, I know the drill.
00:19:40Jacqueline.
00:19:41Yes.
00:19:42I hope he doesn't forget what he came there for.
00:19:44Yes, I'm sure he'll take the jamming unit out.
00:19:46He can take care of himself, sir.
00:19:48Yeah.
00:19:49If I know him, he'll probably take himself out with it.
00:19:52And don't worry about the backup.
00:19:54It's on its way.
00:19:55Out.
00:20:06Yeah, this is Python.
00:20:08Give me the Pentagon.
00:20:11Huh?
00:20:12I'm surprised that your government can't do better than this.
00:20:15You know, with the budget cuts that our government's doing, I mean, it just makes our job a little harder.
00:20:28Ah!
00:20:37Nice.
00:20:38Nice.
00:20:39You know, General, time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?
00:20:44It's the truck!
00:20:45Give me that, General.
00:20:46Stick it where the sun don't shine.
00:20:47Come on, get out of there, Stephen James Banner.
00:20:56What's the money when reading, James Banner?
00:20:57What does it have, General?
00:21:02It's yours!
00:21:03The wagon!
00:21:04Calm down!
00:21:06Oh, shit, sun!
00:21:07Hopefully the man get on the wall!
00:21:08Go get the switch!
00:21:09Ex, I call his way!
00:21:10Oh.
00:21:11Yeah, you called my guns!
00:21:12So how...
00:21:13Still eat?
00:21:14Oh, whoa, whoa.
00:21:15The man...
00:21:16In a way!
00:21:17Oh!
00:21:18This guy!
00:21:19On a way.
00:21:20Totally.
00:21:21Come on!
00:21:22are you ready to go?
00:21:38Is this no easy?
00:21:52Get me out of here!
00:22:14Get me out of here!
00:22:15God, get me out of here!
00:22:22I'll be right back.
00:22:52I'll be right back.
00:23:22I wonder how I am so fired.
00:23:42Code 5, Code 4, come in.
00:23:43Can you read?
00:23:44I'm a little busy right now.
00:23:48I'm sorry.
00:23:49I lost your visual.
00:23:50Can you make it to the plate?
00:23:52Roger, I'm almost there.
00:23:53You better be too, Jack.
00:23:54Let me get it.
00:23:56I'll be right back.
00:24:03I lost your visual.
00:24:05I lost my voice.
00:24:06I lost my voice.
00:24:07I lost your voice.
00:24:11I lost my voice.
00:24:14This is Code 5. Code 5. Jacqueline, are you there? Come in.
00:24:29Tanner, what was that explosion?
00:24:31Is our ticket out of here?
00:24:33The plane? The plane's been hit?
00:24:36All right, listen. I radioed for some backup earlier.
00:24:40There should be a chopper at the rendezvous point.
00:24:42Any minute.
00:24:44Okay, on my way.
00:24:46You better be there. You son of a bitch.
00:25:12Come in, Jacqueline. Get the hell out of here.
00:25:16That's enormous.
00:25:18Come in, Jacqueline. Get the hell out of here.
00:25:28That's enormous.
00:25:30Come in, Jacqueline. Get the hell out of here.
00:25:32That's enormous.
00:25:34Keep the engine in, Jacqueline.
00:25:38I'm in, Jacqueline.
00:25:39Let's go.
00:25:40That's enormous.
00:25:42You can't see him?
00:25:44No, I'm in.
00:25:45I'm in.
00:25:46I'm in.
00:25:47Move!
00:25:48That's not too long.
00:25:49What's up?
00:25:51I'm in.
00:25:53I'm in.
00:25:54I'm in.
00:25:55I'm in.
00:25:56I'm in.
00:25:57I'm in.
00:25:58Come on, come on.
00:26:14Buddy.
00:26:16Three in the crowd.
00:26:22Oh, Steven.
00:26:24Jack.
00:26:28Come on.
00:26:34Bravo, Leader. This is Code 5, Commander. Do you have copy?
00:26:38One, three, base three.
00:26:40All right. The target is permanently disabled.
00:26:43I repeat, permanently disabled.
00:26:46Take your troops to the pre-designated coordinates
00:26:49and destroy the remains of the camp.
00:26:51Do you understand Bravo, Leader?
00:26:53One, two, good.
00:26:55Good.
00:26:58God damn it, Banner. Nobody touches that camp.
00:27:02Do you copy Bravo, Leader?
00:27:04Banner.
00:27:06What frequency are you on?
00:27:08Switching to frequency 1.25 X-ray.
00:27:12Charlie Company, Team Leader.
00:27:14Are you in position?
00:27:16Banner.
00:27:18Banner.
00:27:19Can anybody hear me?
00:27:20Banner.
00:27:21Can anybody hear me?
00:27:26I knew he'd do this to me.
00:27:28They're gonna have my ass for this.
00:27:30Good.
00:27:31But remember, this is the 1980s, guys, and not the Bay of Pigs.
00:27:35So just back up Bravo Company with some firepower and get your boys home.
00:27:41Is that understood, Charlie?
00:27:42Yes, sir, Captain. We're moving in now.
00:27:44Good luck, man.
00:27:45I'm out.
00:27:46I'm out.
00:27:47Banner.
00:27:48Banner!
00:32:54Ladies and gentlemen, would you please give Mr. E. your undivided attention?
00:33:01I believe you all know why you're here.
00:33:03Uh, if you will allow me, sir.
00:33:06It took a great deal of effort and interagency cooperation
00:33:11in order to obtain this valuable piece of darkness.
00:33:15I have personally laid my reputation on the line.
00:33:19Now, if you will, pay close attention to what you're going to see on the screen.
00:33:24The subject had no knowledge that he was being filmed.
00:33:49Suffice it to say, this is confidential.
00:33:54I trust that nothing would go beyond this room.
00:33:58Agreed?
00:33:59Thank you, Mr. E.
00:34:00Roll film, please.
00:34:02Okay, right away.
00:34:04Okay, right away.
00:34:06Let's go.
00:34:07Let's go.
00:34:08Let's go.
00:34:09Let's go.
00:34:10Let's go.
00:34:11Let's go.
00:34:12Let's go.
00:34:13Let's go.
00:34:14Let's go.
00:34:15Let's go.
00:34:16Let's go.
00:34:17Let's go.
00:34:18Let's go.
00:34:19Let's go.
00:34:20Let's go.
00:34:21Let's go.
00:34:22Let's go.
00:34:23Let's go.
00:34:24Let's go.
00:34:25Let's go.
00:34:26Let's go.
00:34:27Let's go.
00:34:28Let's go.
00:34:29Let's go.
00:34:30Let's go.
00:34:31Let's go.
00:34:32Let's go.
00:34:33Let's go.
00:34:34Let's go.
00:34:35Let's go.
00:34:36Let's go.
00:34:37Let's go.
00:34:38Let's go.
00:34:39Let's go.
00:34:40Let's go.
00:34:41Let's go.
00:34:42What is this, a joke?
00:34:43I assure you, it's not.
00:34:46And if you'll just be patient, Lieutenant, we'll all be able to find out just how critical
00:34:51this is to our national security.
00:34:54And I'm a cop.
00:34:57I carry a badge, a gun, and bullets, and a night's ticket, and handcuffs, and I'll stand
00:35:04outside.
00:35:24Do you need to have a password?
00:35:48You did?
00:35:49Now, remember, this particular incident happened over 20 years ago.
00:36:09The boy was just about eight years old then, was institutionalized, presumably for life.
00:36:15Oh, you mean subordinate Clause.
00:36:20Hey, look at that! Look at that!
00:36:40Oh!
00:36:42Oh!
00:36:45Hmm.
00:36:49Hmm.
00:36:56Hmm.
00:37:03Hmm.
00:37:06Hmm.
00:37:08Hmm.
00:37:09Hmm.
00:37:10Hmm.
00:37:11Hmm.
00:37:12Hmm.
00:37:13Hmm.
00:37:14Hmm.
00:37:15Hmm.
00:37:16Hmm.
00:37:17Hmm.
00:37:18Hmm.
00:37:19Hmm.
00:37:20Hmm.
00:37:21Hmm.
00:37:22Hmm.
00:37:23Hmm.
00:37:24Hmm.
00:37:25Hmm.
00:37:26That, folks, was almost 20 years ago.
00:37:44Turn on the lights. What's wrong with the film?
00:37:48What are you guys doing back there?
00:37:51What?
00:37:53It appears the rest of the film is missing, sir.
00:37:57Gone.
00:37:59Find that film today.
00:38:01Put your best man on it.
00:38:03Yes, sir.
00:38:04Consider it done.
00:38:21Steven, I'm so glad you could make dinner tonight.
00:38:24I must say, it's been a most enlightening evening.
00:38:27Why, thank you, Steven.
00:38:30And I must say, I was certainly surprised to know you were free tonight.
00:38:34The scuttlebutt around the office is you're working on a very important project.
00:38:39Maybe, but that's pretty much behind us now.
00:38:44Uh, tell me, Ms. Karloff, how long have you been with our agency?
00:38:48And how would you know about my son?
00:38:51Oh, well, you certainly aren't inquisitive, little devil, aren't you?
00:38:54I almost feel as if you don't trust me, Steven.
00:38:58No, not at all.
00:39:00This has been a long trip back from Hong Kong, that's all.
00:39:03I'm just a little tired.
00:39:05Excuse me, sir.
00:39:05You have an urgent phone call.
00:39:07Oh, God.
00:39:08Never ends.
00:39:10Banner here.
00:39:11Steven, I'm glad I found you.
00:39:14How did you?
00:39:14Oh, I won't even ask.
00:39:17I suppose it's important, don't I?
00:39:18Mr. E is livid.
00:39:21Someone inside our headquarters snatched a highly secret film that must be recovered.
00:39:26You suspect, of course, a...
00:39:28Yes, a double agent.
00:39:31Uh, right, Lieutenant.
00:39:33I think the answer might be staring me right in the face.
00:39:36What?
00:39:37Never mind.
00:39:38I'll, uh, I'll explain it all later.
00:39:41Uh, where's the meet?
00:39:42At the submarine base.
00:39:43About one hour.
00:39:43Okay, sure.
00:39:47Well, Mr. E.D. and Ron, but duty does call.
00:39:52Uh, waiter, can this lovely lady have some coffee?
00:39:55Or perhaps she'd prefer a black Russian.
00:40:03Again, a check!
00:40:05Give me a scotch of water straight off.
00:40:07Certainly, madam.
00:40:08Oh, and this should take care of the goddamn bill.
00:40:13Mr. E is livid.
00:40:18It's a little bit.
00:40:21Mr. E is livid.
00:40:23Someone inside our headquarters snatched a highly secret film that must be recovered.
00:40:28Look at me, Jacqueline.
00:40:51Late as usual, Banner.
00:40:53Well, don't worry.
00:40:56I've brought along some of those gizmos you guys like to play with.
00:41:01Here's your A-48 decoder.
00:41:03It'll get you into the Soviet's computer room at the U.N.
00:41:06We think the film's in the safe by the main terminal room.
00:41:12God, I love these toys.
00:41:14Knock it off. I signed for that.
00:41:17Now, here's their latest printout, cross-referenced to gain access to the main computer.
00:41:21It should open the safe.
00:41:23Hopefully, the film's still in there.
00:41:25It's with this film anyway, Jacqueline.
00:41:29Porno movies, right?
00:41:30Not likely.
00:41:31But Mr. E's bent on getting this back into our hands.
00:41:34Says it could be a real smoking gun for the Kremlin.
00:41:37So they haven't even told you.
00:41:40Rather high security, Jacqueline.
00:41:43Rather high priority, Banner.
00:41:48Touché.
00:41:48Miss Karloff, what is your location?
00:41:58I'm right outside our computer operations building.
00:42:00Stephen has already gone in.
00:42:03Stephen?
00:42:04Are you two that close?
00:42:06Please, General.
00:42:08If he's as good as his record, he might just bypass security, decode the safe, and get the film back into United States' hands.
00:42:19I agree.
00:42:24I suggest we bring in more manpower and...
00:42:27Yet, Karloff.
00:42:29I don't want anyone, not even our own people, seeing that film.
00:42:34Homrad.
00:42:35Mickey.
00:42:36That kid in the film.
00:42:38He's now an adult.
00:42:40And one of our agents.
00:42:41He must be protected.
00:43:01I see no purpose in going on with this charade.
00:43:06In truth, he's no agent.
00:43:16He's my grandson.
00:43:18A psychopathic killer whose identity, if known to the rest, could prove very embarrassing to our government.
00:43:26And definitely, the end of my career.
00:43:31But, sir, I thought that...
00:43:32Enough said, comrade.
00:43:34Just recover that film.
00:43:36And deliver it directly to me.
00:43:40Yes, sir.
00:43:40Consider it done.
00:43:42End communication.
00:43:47Goodbye, Karloff.
00:43:58And good luck.
00:44:00And good luck.
00:44:00And good luck.
00:44:01And good luck.
00:44:02And good luck.
00:44:03And good luck.
00:44:04And good luck.
00:44:05And good luck.
00:44:05And good luck.
00:44:05And good luck.
00:44:06And good luck.
00:44:07And good luck.
00:44:07And good luck.
00:44:07And good luck.
00:44:08And good luck.
00:44:09And good luck.
00:44:09And good luck.
00:44:09And good luck.
00:44:10And good luck.
00:44:11And good luck.
00:44:11And good luck.
00:44:12And good luck.
00:44:13And good luck.
00:44:13And good luck.
00:44:13And good luck.
00:44:14And good luck.
00:44:14And good luck.
00:44:15And good luck.
00:44:15And good luck.
00:44:16And good luck.
00:44:17And good luck.
00:44:17And good luck.
00:44:18And good luck.
00:44:19And good luck.
00:44:20And good luck.
00:44:21And good luck.
00:44:22And good luck.
00:44:22And good luck.
00:44:30PHONE RINGS
00:45:00PHONE RINGS
00:45:09Do you want to play a game?
00:45:13Uh, no computer, I do not want to play a game
00:45:17Oh, please enter your security code then
00:45:30I acknowledge your authority, let us begin
00:45:41By all means, I'd like to know computer, where the movie film that was recent deposit here is being kept
00:45:49The motion picture film is being kept in the master safe in the east part of this room
00:45:57Good, computer, just what is on that film that's so damn important?
00:46:04Apparently, one of our Moscow-based generals had a son who is a psychopathic killer
00:46:12One Christmas Eve, he hacked up his mother and his father
00:46:16Enough
00:46:17What the hell
00:46:22Sir?
00:46:24Uh, nothing computer
00:46:26Begin sequencing the combination of the airlock safe
00:46:30The sequencing to open the master safe has been done
00:46:40Okay, thank you computer
00:46:42Only ten seconds now until you will have access to the vault
00:46:47Continue, thank you
00:46:49Countdown
00:46:51Countdown
00:46:52Five
00:46:54Four
00:46:55Three
00:46:56Two
00:46:57And open
00:46:59You now have two minutes
00:47:04You now have two minutes
00:47:08But you, uh, good job, oh boy
00:47:10What do you think?
00:47:14Do you know I'm not?
00:47:34You let me die
00:47:37Aaaaah
00:47:38Gun
00:47:39Gun
00:47:40Gun
00:47:41Gun
00:47:42Gun
00:47:43Gun
00:47:45Gun
00:47:46Gun
00:47:47Gun
00:47:48Gun
00:47:55Gun
00:47:59Gun
00:48:00Gun
00:48:01What can you do?
00:48:31Fight, fight, and all the monsters.
00:48:34Fight, fight, and all the monsters.
00:48:39Fight, fight, for your life right.
00:48:40Fight, fight, for your life right.
00:48:44You turn my rules without anything else.
00:48:50Fight, fight, for your life right.
00:48:54You got to see you for your life's right.
00:48:58Fight!
00:49:02Fight!
00:49:04Fight!
00:49:28Fight!
00:49:35Fight!
00:49:39Fight!
00:49:45Fight!
00:49:49Fight!
00:49:53Fight!
00:49:58You gonna look old, boy?
00:50:01Ah, Mr. Reedy.
00:50:03Good timing.
00:50:04Hit it, driver.
00:50:23This is Banner.
00:50:24Catch me through the aerial surveillance.
00:50:27Yeah, this is Field Agent Banner.
00:50:30Um, getting some aerial surveillance on target,
00:50:33heading south on 101.
00:50:43Can you get the target in sight?
00:50:47Yeah, it is a motorcycle.
00:50:49Right.
00:50:52Just keep the distance and be ready to fire if necessary.
00:50:56Faster, driver.
00:50:57There's nothing that you say.
00:51:01Answer my questions.
00:51:04Don't take me away.
00:51:07Is it a motorcycle?
00:51:08Yeah, it's a motorcycle.
00:51:09I don't want that.
00:51:10Oh, come on.
00:51:11Come on, come on.
00:51:12Come on, come on.
00:51:13Come on.
00:51:14Come on!
00:51:15Come on, come on.
00:51:16Come on.
00:51:17Come on, come on!
00:51:18Come on, come on.
00:51:20I was close.
00:51:22Good, bad.
00:51:23Oh, that was close.
00:51:25Will it be all right?
00:51:51No, no, hold your fire.
00:51:52I think you're okay.
00:51:55Off the screen.
00:52:04Uh, good.
00:52:12That's good.
00:52:14That's good.
00:52:15Follow him, driver.
00:52:16See you all right.
00:52:18Oh, I'm afraid we've lost this matter.
00:52:33Well, maybe not.
00:52:35Well, maybe not.
00:52:42Oh, no!
00:52:49You know that film I haven't had to die, you son of a bitch!
00:52:53Bitch! You, chief son of a bitch!
00:52:55That's what you get for sticking me with that check!
00:52:58Not so fast, Karloff.
00:53:01Ah!
00:53:04You asshole!
00:53:17Of course, now that the film is gone,
00:53:20we could say we just did our part for detente, huh?
00:53:27Ciao.
00:53:28But, Fanner, I don't know how to land this thing!
00:53:32Oh, damn you!
00:53:37It does have a nice ass, though.
00:53:51Okay.
00:53:55Yes?
00:53:58What?
00:53:59Put it on the screen!
00:54:06How close is our sub?
00:54:09And the Americans?
00:54:13Get our divers in the water!
00:54:15Now!
00:54:16I want that film!
00:54:17I want that film!
00:54:34Permission to come aboard, Corporal?
00:54:35Oh, yes, sir.
00:54:36Yes, sir. Captain Banner.
00:54:38Mr. Corporal, ma'am.
00:54:39Nice of you to drop in like this.
00:54:41I hope you didn't, uh, dress up on my account.
00:54:45Well, gee.
00:54:46Uh, Lieutenant.
00:54:49I've been running around a lot today.
00:54:51Marshall Sub, close your fence on target, ma'am.
00:54:53Thank you, Corporal.
00:54:54Come on, Steven.
00:54:55Your gear is down in the torpedo room.
00:54:57This way, sir.
00:54:59Captain Levy Bridge.
00:55:00Dive!
00:55:01Dive!
00:55:02Dive!
00:55:03No!
00:55:04No!
00:55:05No!
00:55:06No!
00:55:13I'm Scott!
00:55:14I'm Scott!
00:55:17Jacqueline, just what the hell is going on with this film?
00:55:22Steven, I'll explain everything later.
00:55:24The Russians have to be stopped at any cost.
00:55:27Understood?
00:55:28Yes, yes.
00:55:29Captain, understood.
00:55:32Ma'am, yes, ma'am.
00:55:35Sorry, Steven. Just be careful, okay?
00:55:38Those guys are acting real serious.
00:55:44Oh, my God!
00:55:45You're so sorry.
00:55:46You're so sorry.
00:55:47You are so, I'm sorry.
00:55:48Oh, God, would you look at that picture.
00:56:09What year is that taking, anyway?
00:56:11Still hiding your eyes in front of whining, Sturgy Stephen.
00:56:15Oh, Jacqueline, I didn't know I could trust you, but you're so happy.
00:56:22Besides, I've always been able to see right through me anyway.
00:56:26You don't pull me.
00:56:281983, Kyle.
00:56:31What?
00:56:32Oh, the picture, remember?
00:56:34Operation Carnac, I believe.
00:56:37Oh, yeah.
00:56:39Well, we sure got around, didn't we?
00:56:40Mm-hmm.
00:56:45How did I ever let myself get involved with you, Stephen?
00:56:50We can get into the rules.
00:56:51Oh, rules, rules.
00:56:53No interpersonal relationships between agents and that sort of thing.
00:56:57Well, Banner, those are the rules, you know.
00:56:59I know.
00:57:00The agency's rules, Jacqueline.
00:57:03Why do you think they call our unit S-O-V?
00:57:06What the hell are them?
00:57:07The hell, Mr. E.
00:57:08The locket looks really nice on you, Stephen.
00:57:25Do you really like it?
00:57:27Of course I do.
00:57:28I love it.
00:57:30They'll be my good luck charm.
00:57:31Kind of like a gold dog test.
00:57:34Oh, that's the thanks I get for...
00:57:37Damn it, Jacqueline.
00:57:39I don't know why you always want to pick a fight when I gotta leave.
00:57:42Maybe it pisses me off.
00:57:44Well, I never could compete with all your women, Beth.
00:57:47Hey, there never was a contest.
00:57:51Especially me when you're done.
00:57:54Look, Stephen.
00:57:55You are what you are.
00:57:56And it feels like I'm just holding you back.
00:57:59Just holding me, Jacqueline.
00:58:01I'm so proud of you, Stephen James, Ben.
00:58:08You're a long time.
00:58:10And always so strong.
00:58:12Tell that to my heart, George.
00:58:15So think if the moment is breaking,
00:58:18make sure you can't come, Jacqueline.
00:58:21What?
00:58:22To New Zealand?
00:58:23I'm afraid not, babe.
00:58:25I sure won't miss you, though.
00:58:27I'll always miss you.
00:58:37Stephen, I can watch you fight and I can watch you win,
00:58:42but I will never watch you die.
00:58:43And that is the reality of you.
00:58:47That sometimes, some place in the world
00:58:50where you let your guard down,
00:58:52some faceless assassin will kill you.
00:58:55And I think I'd rather not be there for that scene,
00:58:58if you don't mind, darling.
00:58:59And I'll...
00:59:06This is to select air.
00:59:09This is to fly switch to air.
00:59:11This is to fly switch to air, LCP-1I.
00:59:15This is to fly switch to air, LCP-1I.
00:59:17This is to missile launch.
00:59:185-Nav weapons, navigation, fire control,
00:59:20transmission, that's completed, started cycling.
00:59:23Also, they select training, fire, weapons.
00:59:26You have permission to fire.
00:59:27You have permission to fire, I can.
00:59:29Weapons time.
00:59:30You have permission to fire.
00:59:31Down there, Scope.
00:59:32Okay, fire.
00:59:33I won.
00:59:34I won.
00:59:58I won.
01:00:11I won.
01:00:15Let's go.
01:00:45Let's go.
01:01:15Ladies and gentlemen, we have at great cost recover the film that Mr. E here so desperately wanted.
01:01:39Why, thank you, Captain Banner.
01:01:41I assure you, sir, your efforts will not go unrecognized.
01:01:45After viewing it, though, sir, I must say that this snuff movie Detective Brody obtained appears at first glance to be nothing more than one of those awful holiday horror movies we see in the theaters.
01:01:56But, of course, as all of us know in this room, the murders are real.
01:02:00Certainly, it does reveal the identity of a very sick little boy, and mainly that the killer is the grandson of one of Russia's most premier generals.
01:02:10A very damaging piece of blackmail.
01:02:13But if you want my opinion, Mr. E, and I'm sure that you do, I think in the spirit of glasnost and the friendship that we're now experiencing between our two countries, you should destroy this little film and put our agency to better use next time.
01:02:27That's enough, Captain.
01:02:29Banner, that's just not your call.
01:02:31All right.
01:02:31Well, if you'll excuse me, I do have a plane to catch.
01:02:35Oh, and I hope you're amused at this clever little piece of satire.
01:02:39But think hard about what you're going to do with this film.
01:02:43It was up to me.
01:02:44Quite frankly, I would burn it.
01:02:48Good day, gentlemen, ladies, detective, Mr. E.
01:02:54Enjoy.
01:02:54Enjoy.
01:02:57If you all remember, in the opening segment of this film, the young boy had just killed his mother and her lover.
01:03:07And that was in 1965.
01:03:10A detective, Brody, here had put him away.
01:03:13In the next portion, you'll see that young Mickey is back in action, only now he's quite grown up.
01:03:21And very, very deadly.
01:03:24Just roll the film, Brody.
01:03:27Hi, Janie.
01:03:48You're just in time.
01:03:51Bobby's over here.
01:03:53Look, Bobby, Janie's here.
01:03:55I know.
01:03:56Hi, Bobby.
01:03:56Hi.
01:03:58Gosh, Mrs. Brown, what a beautiful tree.
01:04:00This year looks like Christmas in here.
01:04:02Thanks, Janie.
01:04:03Look, here's 20 bucks for pizza in case you get hungry.
01:04:07That should cover a tip, too.
01:04:09I'll be out real late tonight.
01:04:10And see that he doesn't get into his presence, okay?
01:04:14I know.
01:04:15No problem, Mrs. Brown.
01:04:16Bobby and I will be just fine.
01:04:18Bobby, now don't make a mess.
01:04:20I just had the place cleaned.
01:04:21I know.
01:04:23Ciao, everyone.
01:04:24I'm sorry.
01:04:32Sorry.
01:04:34No, baby.
01:04:39Oh, God.
01:04:41Stop, stop.
01:04:42I think I got him.
01:04:43I don't know.
01:04:45It's okay.
01:04:46You want to head in, Karen?
01:04:47I want to head in, Karen.
01:04:48I want to head in, Karen.
01:04:49I want to head in, Karen.
01:04:49I want to head in, Karen.
01:04:49I want to head in, Karen.
01:04:49I want to head in, Karen.
01:04:49Relax.
01:04:50Don't get so bent out of shape.
01:04:52No, I just love him so much.
01:04:54They said that he wasn't even you.
01:04:56Sure.
01:04:56Just then I thought it was safe to come back into this apartment.
01:04:59Yeah, I knew you were going to say this.
01:05:01Sure you did.
01:05:03I had this really freaky dream about this big red moon, and it was just bleeding all over
01:05:08me.
01:05:08It was so corrupt.
01:05:10You know, I get crazy when there's a phone moving.
01:05:13You mean a phone would get crazy?
01:05:14You're nuts anyway.
01:05:15I got it.
01:05:18I got a word that's just going to kill you.
01:05:20Oh, yeah?
01:05:21Yeah.
01:05:21Try it.
01:05:22How do you spell fornicate?
01:05:24Fornicate?
01:05:24That's easy.
01:05:26F?
01:05:27You got that?
01:05:28Yeah.
01:05:28O-U-Q.
01:05:30You got that?
01:05:33But, Tanya, let's sleep here.
01:05:36Shh, Bobby.
01:05:37Now you just close your eyes and get some rest.
01:05:39I'll try to get these people out of here as soon as I can.
01:05:42Remember, Santa's coming tonight.
01:05:45I do.
01:05:50As strange and amusing as this might appear, keep in mind that every murder you see on
01:05:56this film is real.
01:05:58Rumors have it that a series of so-called snuff films were made using easily manipulated
01:06:04mental patients to commit actual murders.
01:06:07This particular film our experts have documented is absolutely authentic.
01:06:14And more important, the identity of this killer is what is of interest to us.
01:06:21Great interest.
01:06:53Let me start off in a little future.
01:07:23Lizzie, who is there?
01:07:53Attention all units, this is an all-points bulletin for a heavy-set man reportedly dressed
01:08:09in a red suit, black boots, white beard, and possibly a reindeer.
01:08:14An egg-tiny reindeer.
01:08:15The suspect escaped tonight from Sunnydale Sanitarium.
01:08:20His name is Mickey Schultz, his alias, get this gag, is Kris Kringle.
01:08:27So he's back in town now, a real nut.
01:08:33You know what, Anderson?
01:08:35What, Brody?
01:08:37About 20 years ago, he killed his mother and his old man with a butcher knife on Christmas
01:08:43Eve.
01:08:44I never saw so much blood in my life, and I'll never forget it either.
01:08:49Watch it, Brody.
01:08:50A red light.
01:08:51Fuck, um, I'm a cop.
01:08:56Anyway, we went in, and we found the two of them laying there, cacked up like a side of
01:09:02beef.
01:09:03And that little monster standing there with a knife in his hands.
01:09:08My partner, Kelly, he started puking.
01:09:11He started puking his guts out all over the place.
01:09:14Uh, excuse me, Brody.
01:09:15I think we should acknowledge that APB.
01:09:18Don't worry about it, Anderson.
01:09:20I got my own way of finding this one.
01:09:24One looking to his dead black eyes, and I'll know him.
01:09:30He's a stone nut.
01:09:32Ever since he saw his mama kissing Santa Claus, he's been crazy ever since.
01:09:36You know what, Anderson?
01:09:37When the doctors examined the kid's head, they found dog shit for brains.
01:09:43Thank you, detective, for that illuminating and tasteful description of the murder.
01:09:49Shall we proceed?
01:09:53The next brutal murder takes place here.
01:10:05Hey, man.
01:10:07What's going on?
01:10:09Shoot, I'll check it.
01:10:11I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:19niń
01:10:26Tiach
01:10:30ni Internet
01:10:32ni
01:10:34ni
01:10:36ni
01:10:45ni
01:10:47ni
01:10:49.
01:11:18Well, I guess that's graphic enough to give us the general idea.
01:11:23Obviously, our murderer is quite mad.
01:11:26And he continues killing until there's only one girl left.
01:11:38Mmm. Want some?
01:11:40Mmm, yeah.
01:11:42Oh, minute. I gotta pee.
01:11:45Hey, watch your mouth. You're gonna have to learn how to talk more like a lady.
01:11:48Hey, Sherry! Get a load of this!
01:12:07Fire out!
01:12:08Oh, my baby does it, okay?
01:12:21Swish splat.
01:12:22I can float.
01:12:35I'll get a look here!
01:12:36Yes!
01:12:37John, what's all the racket going on?
01:13:01Oh, the tub.
01:13:07Oh, the tub.
01:13:21Oh, the tub.
01:13:27Oh, the tub.
01:13:31Oh, the tub.
01:13:33Oh, the tub.
01:13:38Billy, did you hear that?
01:13:39Oh, it's probably just Sherry.
01:13:41She's a moaner.
01:13:42Yeah?
01:13:43How would you know?
01:13:44Billy, hurry.
01:13:45I think you better go see what's wrong.
01:13:47No way, Jose.
01:13:48Please.
01:13:55I better call the police.
01:13:57Oh, my God.
01:14:09The phone's dead.
01:14:11So am I.
01:14:12I'll just fast forward this to get to the end.
01:14:25Now, the point is, is that these murders are real, and the cycle they use to commit them is none other than the grandson of General Alexey Grossoff of the USSR Secret Police.
01:14:41And he knows that we know all about it and won't hesitate to use it against him.
01:15:00Oh, yes.
01:15:02Oh!
01:15:03Oh!
01:15:05Oh!
01:15:09Oh, baby!
01:15:10Oh!
01:15:15Oh, I'll stay for them.
01:15:17Oh!
01:15:18Oh!
01:15:19Oh!
01:15:20Oh!
01:15:21Oh, my God.
01:15:25Oh!
01:15:27Oh, my God.
01:15:57It's okay, miss.
01:16:18Brody's in charge now.
01:16:20Oh, no, you're not, detective.
01:16:22As a matter of fact, with this film in the hands of SOB, we are very clearly in charge.
01:16:32It is our intention to leak the information to the KGB and let them take care of their own.
01:16:39It keeps our hands clean of all that messy business and gets rid of an adversary at the same time.
01:16:47Now you know why it was so important to obtain this evidence.
01:16:56Right, Mr. E. Now you know, and soon the whole world will know that my grandson grew up to be a very sick man.
01:17:15The last part is, he's still out there.
01:17:22Now you know.
01:17:52you're really very good Stephen James banner you know having this picnic is a
01:18:05great idea I'm just full of great ideas financial such as man such as a little
01:18:12more shampoo please that crazy story you were telling me about that Mickey
01:18:17character is it really true in fact I really shouldn't take that chance get out
01:18:36Franchella Franchella it's only just saving your ass again and it is such a nice ass Stephen that
01:18:51little Franchella of yours just happens to be working at the Soviet embassy down here at the
01:18:55audience that should be back in Washington by now a tent Stephen work is in everything you know
01:19:03people do change
01:19:05you're not kidding
01:19:09Stephen it's so good to see you again
01:19:19but darling I thought you and me this was supposed to hack
01:19:23oh shut up and kiss me babe
01:19:25I thought that was my life guys
01:19:27oh say love me
01:19:30living on the edge without a prayer inside you've got me walking on a ledge in the darkest part of night
01:19:46standing at the edge with so much laughter
01:19:53so I don't like it
01:19:56so I don't do it
01:19:58I don't do it
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