#fyp
#viral
#terbaru
#hot
#viral
#terbaru
#hot
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the show where we talk about all the stuff in marriages that no one else will, and usually in a graphic manner.
00:00:48I'm your loyal host, Jill, with a G, Langer, and I will be your guide on this journey of self-discovery.
00:00:55We have one of our favorite guests joining us. She's definitely one of my favorites. You know her, you love her. That's right, folks. Dr. Greta.
00:01:06She is back to teach us how to talk dirty in the bedroom. And can I just say that I am so ready?
00:01:14Because if I have to have any more scheduled sex in order to make a baby, somebody's gonna lose their fucking mind. And that someone is me.
00:01:22Make me a little fucking cum-slash.
00:01:26Oh, God.
00:01:26Yeah!
00:01:27Oh, God.
00:01:28Oh, God.
00:01:29Oh, God.
00:01:30Oh, God.
00:01:31Oh, God.
00:01:32Oh, God.
00:01:33Oh, God.
00:01:34Oh, God.
00:01:35Oh, God.
00:01:36Oh, God.
00:01:37Oh, God.
00:01:38Oh, God.
00:01:39Oh, God.
00:01:40Oh, God.
00:01:41Oh, God.
00:01:42Oh, God.
00:01:43Oh, God.
00:01:44Oh, God.
00:01:45Oh, God.
00:01:46Oh, God.
00:01:47Oh, God.
00:01:48Oh, God.
00:01:49Oh, God.
00:01:50Oh, God.
00:01:51Oh, God.
00:01:52Oh, God.
00:01:53Oh, God.
00:01:54Oh, God.
00:01:55If that didn't make a baby, I don't know what will.
00:02:10That was good, right?
00:02:13It was, uh, that dirty talk was new.
00:02:18Yeah, I learned it from the sexologist that we had on the show last week.
00:02:23What'd you think?
00:02:24I think, uh, sexologist is not a real thing.
00:02:31Hey, it totally is to you a real profession.
00:02:36Oh, yeah?
00:02:37Uh, what'd you major in school?
00:02:40Doggy style?
00:02:42Yeah, probably cunnilingus and other things.
00:02:46Okay.
00:02:47Okay.
00:02:50January 13th, three-ish.
00:02:54Jack has been consumed with sex to get pregnant, so I thought I would spice it up a little bit with some dirty talk, courtesy of Dr. Greta from episode 24.
00:03:05I thought it was hot.
00:03:09Jack seemed a little confused.
00:03:11Not confused.
00:03:12The only confusing part was how my wife of 20 years turned into a cum slut.
00:03:17Jack is normally a little more reserved in bed.
00:03:22Julie, can you wrap it up, please?
00:03:23They're going to be here any minute.
00:03:24It's my job.
00:03:25I'll be done in a second.
00:03:31Oh, shit, that's hot.
00:03:33Don't burn your pussy.
00:03:34Oh, too late.
00:03:37Hey, what are you doing?
00:03:39Huh?
00:03:40What are you doing now?
00:03:41Where's the outfit?
00:03:43Oh, I'm not wearing that.
00:03:44No, Jack.
00:03:46You promised.
00:03:48I'll look ridiculous.
00:03:49No, you won't.
00:03:53You'll look hot.
00:03:57You think the chef heard us?
00:03:59Oh, no way.
00:04:00This house is huge.
00:04:03You're walking so fast.
00:04:04I can't move in these things.
00:04:06Now you know how I feel when I wear Spanx.
00:04:09Beauty is pain, baby.
00:04:11How do people wear these?
00:04:18God, look like Enrique and Lassius' accountant.
00:04:23Okay, let's just get a quick selfie.
00:04:25Oh, yeah.
00:04:26In front of the sign.
00:04:28Oh, wait a minute.
00:04:29Hold on.
00:04:29Let me just get this a little.
00:04:31What are you doing?
00:04:31Here we go.
00:04:32No.
00:04:33No, come on.
00:04:33They want us together wearing their shit looking hot, so.
00:04:37Oh, you can't post this, sweetie.
00:04:38Yes, I have to post this, sweetie.
00:04:40No, no, no, no, no.
00:04:40Come on.
00:04:40Just give me one.
00:04:41Give me one good one, baby.
00:04:42I know you got it in here.
00:04:43My students are going to see this.
00:04:44All right.
00:04:45Got it.
00:04:45You got it.
00:04:46Crushing it.
00:04:48Okay, which one do you like?
00:04:51Uh, what?
00:04:52This one.
00:04:53Great.
00:04:54Great.
00:04:54Yes, loving it.
00:04:55Do it.
00:04:55Okay, fine.
00:04:56I thought you were taking the night off.
00:04:57I am going to take the night off.
00:04:59You know, the night hasn't started yet, and I need to post a photo really quickly.
00:05:03Right.
00:05:04Posting.
00:05:04I have to do this really quickly.
00:05:07Happy birthday.
00:05:08Post it.
00:05:09There you are.
00:05:10Hi.
00:05:12I just wanted to have a, you know, a moment with my beautiful wife.
00:05:20You know, I was thinking about today.
00:05:22What?
00:05:22When I first saw you 20 years ago across the bar at the Elson Burrow.
00:05:28And how I knew right away that in 20 years, I would still be looking at you.
00:05:37Oh, my God.
00:05:3920 years.
00:05:41Can you believe it?
00:05:43Yeah.
00:05:44I can.
00:05:45Yeah.
00:05:45Because I love you.
00:05:46I love you.
00:05:51Happy birthday.
00:05:53Happy birthday.
00:05:55God.
00:05:57That was so sweet.
00:05:59I mean, I'm just a great guy.
00:06:02Can you do that again?
00:06:04What do you mean?
00:06:04What?
00:06:06For the birthday episode?
00:06:08Chilly.
00:06:09Come on, just a quick video.
00:06:10The moment has passed.
00:06:10The moment has passed.
00:06:11That was beautiful.
00:06:12Honey, please.
00:06:13I want to record it.
00:06:14It was a real thing.
00:06:14And I want everybody to see how wonderful that was.
00:06:15I gotta brush my teeth real quick.
00:06:16What?
00:06:17Stop.
00:06:17Didn't you just brush your teeth?
00:06:19Don't you just brush my teeth?
00:06:49What the fuck?
00:07:13Hello?
00:07:14Oh, God.
00:07:14Oh, God.
00:07:14Is this a surprise party?
00:07:15You know I hate surprises.
00:07:16No, I would not do that to you.
00:07:18I know.
00:07:19Oh, they're supposed to be here.
00:07:21Hey, we should try not to overshare tonight, okay?
00:07:24Oh, by we, you mean me?
00:07:26Yes, I mean you.
00:07:27Do I?
00:07:29You know what I hate?
00:07:30No.
00:07:31Patio furniture.
00:07:31Oh, goodbyes are no patio furniture.
00:07:33Hi!
00:07:36Hi!
00:07:36Happy birthday.
00:07:37Oh, my God.
00:07:38It's so good to see you.
00:07:40Happy birthday.
00:07:41You guys look so great.
00:07:43Thank you for coming.
00:07:43Oh, me too.
00:07:43Here, come on in.
00:07:46Wow.
00:07:47You love it.
00:07:48Oh, got brick.
00:07:50I know.
00:07:50We got so much brick.
00:07:52Where did you find this place?
00:07:54I found it through this incredible rental company, and the show gave me a stipend for the party.
00:07:59What?
00:08:00Wow.
00:08:01The podcast must be doing really well.
00:08:03Yeah.
00:08:03Congratulations.
00:08:04Yes.
00:08:05Oh, God.
00:08:06Oh, boy.
00:08:08Come here.
00:08:10What?
00:08:10Look at this.
00:08:12Oh.
00:08:13Hey, guys.
00:08:13Hugging royalty.
00:08:15Look at you.
00:08:16Wow.
00:08:16Happy birthday, Jack.
00:08:18Thanks.
00:08:19Tell him.
00:08:20Tell him.
00:08:20He looks great.
00:08:21Wow.
00:08:21Look at this incredible color.
00:08:22His confidence.
00:08:23Look at the leather pants.
00:08:24Oh.
00:08:25I can see your penis.
00:08:26Oh.
00:08:26There it is.
00:08:27Right there, slightly to the right, and presenting the appetizers.
00:08:31Oh, hello.
00:08:32How many cows died to create these pants?
00:08:35No, they're actually vegan leather.
00:08:37Oh, good, because I'm lactose intolerant.
00:08:39Here, just give it a feel.
00:08:41Come on.
00:08:41It's so real.
00:08:42Just step into me.
00:08:43Who wants a drink?
00:08:44Let's get a drink.
00:08:45Let's get a drink.
00:08:46Come on.
00:08:49Look at this spread.
00:08:50I know.
00:08:50It's great, right?
00:08:51May I?
00:08:53I cannot believe we're 40.
00:08:55Oh, I know.
00:08:56I look so young, though.
00:08:58You do.
00:08:58Isn't it freaky?
00:09:00Is there a restroom I could use?
00:09:02Yes, just inside to the left.
00:09:04Mm-hmm.
00:09:05You guys have been together longer than you've been apart.
00:09:08No, I know.
00:09:09It's true.
00:09:09Now we're starting a family.
00:09:11You're pregnant.
00:09:12Oh.
00:09:12No.
00:09:13No, no, no, no, no.
00:09:14Not yet.
00:09:14Oh.
00:09:15I'm trying, though.
00:09:16Oh, that's amazing.
00:09:17Mm-hmm.
00:09:18It is amazing.
00:09:19Oh, you guys have been together for a really long time.
00:09:22Yeah.
00:09:22What's your secret?
00:09:23Well, we're open.
00:09:25But we weren't always open.
00:09:26It's kind of new-ish.
00:09:27Well, when Ish had cancer, he wasn't, like, feeling that sexy.
00:09:31So he was like, you know, please go get your needs met.
00:09:34And, you know, I did.
00:09:34And then when he got healthier, I was like, you should go partake as well because you have
00:09:39a lot of kinks that I don't really have the endurance for.
00:09:41Does that make sense?
00:09:41And I was like, get out there.
00:09:43But we have a lot of rules.
00:09:44January to May, we are not open.
00:09:46That's cuffing season.
00:09:47It can't be the state where either of our mothers live.
00:09:49The bathroom has a bidet.
00:09:51I mean, I didn't use it.
00:09:52I just...
00:09:53What did I miss?
00:09:56They are starting a family.
00:10:01Oh.
00:10:01Oh.
00:10:05Oh.
00:10:13Well, well, well.
00:10:15It is in the one and only Mo.
00:10:17Wow.
00:10:18Logan, I had no idea you would be here.
00:10:22Yes, you did.
00:10:23Yeah, I did.
00:10:29How are you doing?
00:10:30Great.
00:10:31Huh?
00:10:31Yeah, you?
00:10:33I'm great.
00:10:35Are you drunk?
00:10:40We partied a little.
00:10:43What?
00:10:45Are you getting your nose pierced?
00:10:48No.
00:10:48I mean, yes, but like many years ago.
00:10:52It's cute.
00:10:54Vodka.
00:10:55Your favorite.
00:10:57Yeah, when I was 20.
00:10:58Get that out of here.
00:10:59I can't believe you.
00:11:01You look, uh...
00:11:02You look healthy.
00:11:06Healthy?
00:11:07Yeah.
00:11:08Am I a dairy cow?
00:11:10Make an MPA Sunday for surgery Monday.
00:11:13Plan is for left awake frontotemporal cramer.
00:11:16We're monitoring.
00:11:16Try not to waste any more of the breast milk.
00:11:17Okay.
00:11:18Sorry.
00:11:19Bye-bye.
00:11:20Lana?
00:11:21Hello?
00:11:22Hello?
00:11:23You're cutting out.
00:11:23You all right?
00:11:31Yeah.
00:11:33Fine.
00:11:35Try to have a bit of fun.
00:11:38I will.
00:11:40Um, let's try not to have too much fun because we do need to leave at five tomorrow morning
00:11:43to be back in time for Rocco.
00:11:45Sorry, what was that?
00:11:46I just got lost in those grey-green eyes of yours.
00:11:51God, you are B-E-A-utiful, aren't you?
00:11:55Sam.
00:11:56Stunning.
00:11:57Stop it.
00:11:58I can't, but I think I have.
00:12:00No, stop it.
00:12:01Okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:12:02Yeah.
00:12:02They're waiting for us to get out of here.
00:12:03Selina.
00:12:04Oh, shit, is that, Lincoln?
00:12:09In the flesh, baby!
00:12:11I forgot it.
00:12:13Hey, Penelope.
00:12:14Hello.
00:12:16Hi, how are you?
00:12:17Just really brilliant, thank you.
00:12:19Yeah, great.
00:12:19How are you?
00:12:20Great.
00:12:21Yeah.
00:12:21That's great.
00:12:23Oh, where's Ben?
00:12:24Oh, he, uh, he couldn't make it.
00:12:25He's, you know, he's working on Senator Bishop's campaign, so he's, uh, he's in New Orleans
00:12:30or Baton Rouge, somewhere in Louisiana, that's all I know.
00:12:32Do you guys ever see each other?
00:12:34You know, healthy relationships do not actually require proximity.
00:12:38Good sex does.
00:12:39I don't, I'm going to text Jill because I don't know where they are.
00:12:42How are you anyway, Logan?
00:12:44Yeah.
00:12:45Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, between tours.
00:12:48Between tours, that's so cool that you're still touring.
00:12:51I think I heard your shit on the oldies station the other day.
00:12:55Yacht Rock Radio.
00:12:56That's all shit.
00:12:58Oh, hello.
00:13:00Hi.
00:13:01We met.
00:13:02Uh, Penelope, here, I got this, I got this.
00:13:05Go ahead, go ahead.
00:13:06Logan, Penelope, this is my beautiful wife, Penelope.
00:13:13Pesha?
00:13:14Pesha's all mine.
00:13:16We all went to college together, all of us.
00:13:19And then you, Jack, and I roomed together freshman, sophomore year.
00:13:22Yeah, for all me.
00:13:23You went off to become a famous rock star, as you do.
00:13:25Yeah, look at me now.
00:13:26And you and Mo dated each other for a while.
00:13:28Not necessary to the conversation at all.
00:13:31We didn't need that tidbit to tell the story.
00:13:33Can you guys get another one?
00:13:35Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!
00:13:36Jack!
00:13:37Honey, honey.
00:13:38Oh, my God.
00:13:40Ah!
00:13:40Ah!
00:13:41Ah!
00:13:42Doctor?
00:13:43Doctor?
00:13:43Doctor?
00:13:44Doctor?
00:13:44Doctor?
00:13:45Doctor?
00:13:45Doctor?
00:13:46Doctor?
00:13:46Doctor?
00:13:47Ah!
00:13:47Oh, buddy.
00:13:48Good to see you, man.
00:13:49Good to see you.
00:13:50Ah!
00:13:51Good to see you, man.
00:13:52Good to see you.
00:13:53Ah!
00:13:54Oh, wow.
00:13:58Hey, Jackie.
00:13:59Folks.
00:14:03Aw.
00:14:04Thanks for coming, man.
00:14:05I missed you.
00:14:06I missed you, too.
00:14:08I missed both of you, man.
00:14:10Yeah!
00:14:11Oh, my God.
00:14:12You look so good.
00:14:13Yeah?
00:14:13Yeah.
00:14:14Oh, yeah.
00:14:14You're like trendy.
00:14:15You're like a celebrity.
00:14:16Hair.
00:14:17Hair.
00:14:17Hair.
00:14:18Hair.
00:14:18Yeah, let me see the booty.
00:14:19Yeah.
00:14:19Let me see the booty.
00:14:20OK.
00:14:20It's good, right?
00:14:21Oh, yeah.
00:14:22It's like another basketball.
00:14:23Yeah.
00:14:23I like it.
00:14:24So many squats.
00:14:25It's great.
00:14:26I'm so happy to see you and bummed that Ben couldn't make it.
00:14:29I know.
00:14:30But you know, it's to be expected.
00:14:41Everybody?
00:14:41Yes.
00:14:42Yes?
00:14:42Yes.
00:14:43Hello?
00:14:43Hi.
00:14:44Hi.
00:14:44Hello?
00:14:45Excuse me.
00:14:46Hello?
00:14:46Hello?
00:14:47Oh, gosh.
00:14:48Sorry.
00:14:49I just wanted to say a really quick thank you so much to all of you for coming to celebrate
00:14:56Jack and I's 40th birthdays.
00:14:59And I know that some of you even left your babies for the very first time.
00:15:04Oh, thank you.
00:15:06Um, so cheers to having a great night.
00:15:10Woo!
00:15:11Woo!
00:15:12Woo!
00:15:15Jack?
00:15:18Do you want to say what you were going to say to everybody?
00:15:22You OK?
00:15:23Yeah.
00:15:24You're up, Jackie.
00:15:26It's funny with old friends.
00:15:29You could not see them for years and then suddenly you're in the same room and it's like
00:15:34no time's passed at all.
00:15:38I guess the opposite works, too.
00:15:39You could be with someone forever and suddenly something happens and it feels like you don't
00:15:44even know him.
00:15:45Like how you suddenly dress like Rod Stewart.
00:15:48I love Rod Stewart.
00:15:50So, anyway, I thought it might be a nice thing to go back before the times of Facebook
00:15:59and Instagram and have us all just be together.
00:16:02No distractions.
00:16:03Mm-hmm.
00:16:04Just like it used to be.
00:16:05So, Jill and I thought that before we get the party started, it might be a nice idea
00:16:14for everyone to surrender their phones for the night into this unplug box.
00:16:21Oh, OK.
00:16:22You can't be serious.
00:16:23I am.
00:16:24Fuck!
00:16:25No!
00:16:26I've actually heard of these parties before.
00:16:27Jackie, take it.
00:16:30So close.
00:16:31Oh!
00:16:32You're not taking my bloody phone.
00:16:34I mean, I could get a work call.
00:16:35Yeah.
00:16:36No.
00:16:37This is my worst nightmare.
00:16:38Jill, you agreed to this?
00:16:39I did because guess what?
00:16:40It's only for one night.
00:16:41Thanks.
00:16:42And that's only a couple of hours if you think about it.
00:16:44So, come on!
00:16:45Let's put it in there.
00:16:46Watch this.
00:16:47I'll show you how it's done.
00:16:48Here's the phone.
00:16:49This one's mine.
00:16:50We should put it in the box.
00:16:51Just like that.
00:16:52Bada bing, bada boom.
00:16:53Jill, show them how it's done.
00:16:54Um, one second.
00:16:55Guys, do you want to take a selfie?
00:16:56Can I...
00:16:57Just before...
00:16:58Oh, yeah, let's do it quickly.
00:16:59Before we do it.
00:17:00Just can we get in?
00:17:01Good job.
00:17:02You can do it.
00:17:03You can do it.
00:17:04Is that your top secret government phone?
00:17:05Uh, no.
00:17:06That is my personal.
00:17:07I would never surrender my work phone.
00:17:08Plus, I don't have it.
00:17:09Oh!
00:17:10Shall we have your full attention?
00:17:11Just one night.
00:17:12Goes right in the box.
00:17:13No one's going to look at it.
00:17:14I promise.
00:17:15Bye, Bradbury.
00:17:16Wait.
00:17:17So, the...
00:17:18No one is having any access to their phone for the entire night?
00:17:23That's the idea, Penelope.
00:17:25That's fine, Penelope.
00:17:26Oh, okay.
00:17:27Great.
00:17:28What if Lana needs something?
00:17:29She'll be fine.
00:17:30And there's an emergency.
00:17:31You'll be fine.
00:17:32It's just...
00:17:33Look.
00:17:34You promised me.
00:17:35Just put your phone in the box.
00:17:41Give it a try.
00:17:42I need to let Lana know, first of all.
00:17:44Yeah.
00:17:45Okay.
00:17:46I was waiting to...
00:17:47She got the text.
00:17:49Okay.
00:17:50She got it.
00:17:51Great.
00:17:52Ah.
00:17:53Very good.
00:17:54And back over here.
00:17:55Oh!
00:17:56He's here.
00:17:57He's here.
00:17:58Uh, hold on.
00:17:59Just gonna erase a few dick pics.
00:18:00Anytime this year.
00:18:01Now you are just showing off.
00:18:02All right.
00:18:04All right.
00:18:05Okay.
00:18:06I might need to get this back later on in case a client emails me or what.
00:18:11No work.
00:18:12Okay, you guys.
00:18:13It's not that easy.
00:18:14I have a good job.
00:18:15All right.
00:18:16So I think, uh, that leaves just one more.
00:18:17Honey?
00:18:18Yes.
00:18:19Just one second.
00:18:20Everybody get in.
00:18:21Come on.
00:18:22Yeah.
00:18:23Oh yeah.
00:18:24Okay, you guys.
00:18:25It's not that easy.
00:18:26I have a good job.
00:18:27All right.
00:18:28So I think, uh, that leaves just one more.
00:18:31Honey?
00:18:32Yes.
00:18:33Just one second.
00:18:34Everybody get in.
00:18:35Come on.
00:18:37Smile.
00:18:38Honey, honey, honey.
00:18:39Come on.
00:18:40One second.
00:18:41Ah, cheese.
00:18:42Yes.
00:18:43You got it.
00:18:44Okay.
00:18:45Great.
00:18:46Wait, wait, wait.
00:18:47Into the box you go.
00:18:48Wait.
00:18:49One more.
00:18:50Last one.
00:18:51Oh, yeah.
00:18:52Oh.
00:18:53Boo.
00:18:54Ah.
00:18:55OK.
00:18:55Perfect.
00:18:56Got your content?
00:18:57Yes.
00:18:58One second.
00:18:58Let me just post.
00:19:00Jill.
00:19:00I'm putting it up.
00:19:01This is the last one.
00:19:02Please put your phone in the box.
00:19:03And we are live out.
00:19:07And kiss it.
00:19:10I love you.
00:19:11I miss you too much.
00:19:12OK.
00:19:13All right.
00:19:14So I'm going to put this one inside,
00:19:17and let's get this party started.
00:19:20Yeah.
00:19:21All right.
00:19:22We did it.
00:19:22Be right back.
00:19:23Come on.
00:19:23Yeah.
00:19:24OK.
00:19:24I hope you guys are hungry.
00:19:25Yeah.
00:19:26Scoring.
00:19:26Yay.
00:19:27No problem.
00:19:28No problem.
00:19:29I know.
00:19:29We're going to do it one night.
00:19:31One night.
00:19:31One night.
00:19:44Hey, everybody.
00:19:45As you may have noticed in our birthday invite,
00:19:49the mention of a special culinary adventure
00:19:54for this evening that I happen to plan all by myself.
00:19:57So without further ado, I would like to introduce you
00:20:00to my new best friend, Chef Sasha, who will be running
00:20:04through the menu for this evening.
00:20:07Chef, please take it away.
00:20:12Oh.
00:20:13Hello, beautiful people.
00:20:16And welcome to what I'm sure is going to be a memorable evening.
00:20:20As Jack mentioned, I am a chef who has won multiple awards
00:20:25in cannabis-infused fine dining.
00:20:27We're getting high.
00:20:28This party just got good.
00:20:29I am definitely going to get paranoid.
00:20:32Tonight isn't just about getting you super high.
00:20:34Anyone can do that.
00:20:35Tonight is about the food.
00:20:37I am a food-centric chef with accents of cannabis.
00:20:41It's all portion-controlled magic for a four-course journey.
00:20:44The end of which, hopefully, you will be super high.
00:20:47Wow.
00:20:48Yes.
00:20:49All right, well, let's kick it off with an amuse-bouche.
00:20:52Jack is holding, please, what is this a game show?
00:20:55Tempura cannabis leaves with one milligram of THC per serving
00:20:59from the sativa-dominant strain squirt juice.
00:21:02Did that this morning.
00:21:03This should leave you feeling relaxed, focused, and euphoric.
00:21:07And who couldn't use a little more euphoria, am I right?
00:21:10I know I could.
00:21:11Now, if you'll excuse me,
00:21:13I am going to go set some intentions
00:21:15and cook the fuck out of some weed.
00:21:17Yes.
00:21:18All right, thank you, Sasha.
00:21:19It's Chef Sasha.
00:21:21Oh, right, sorry.
00:21:22Mm.
00:21:25Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:21:28Oh, all right, yeah.
00:21:31Pass those out before they get cold.
00:21:34All right, let's dig in.
00:21:36Oh, I get tested for work.
00:21:38Oh, leaves your system in 36 hours, so I've been told.
00:21:41Oh, thank you, Jill and Jack.
00:21:43I haven't eaten up hot since high school.
00:21:45You lie.
00:21:46That's true.
00:21:47That's the basis of our friendship.
00:21:48That's true.
00:21:49How much of this should I eat?
00:21:51How much do you want?
00:21:53You're eating all of it.
00:21:55Mm.
00:21:56Well, well, well.
00:21:58Surprise, surprise.
00:22:00Surprise, surprise.
00:22:02Oh, Jack, Jack, you son of a bitch.
00:22:06Penny, what?
00:22:08Oh, thanks.
00:22:09I don't have to pump and dump.
00:22:11Why are you going to do that anyway if you drink?
00:22:13I'm not drinking.
00:22:14Cheers.
00:22:15Obviously.
00:22:16Cheers, my darling.
00:22:17Happy birthday.
00:22:19Happy birthday.
00:22:20Thanks.
00:22:21Now when we're saying it Neil,
00:22:26Oh, my God, Oho, my God, oh.
00:22:29Let me just go.
00:22:30I know, but where in person does it.
00:22:40Okay.
00:22:40I'm not very fresh.
00:22:42To the plus ones.
00:22:53The plus ones.
00:22:56And long may we continue to be, frankly, the best part of the...
00:23:00I've been awful for our bodies.
00:23:02I have missed you.
00:23:04I've missed you!
00:23:08I'm very glad you're doing better.
00:23:10Thank you, me too.
00:23:12It's been a long road.
00:23:17So how's teaching?
00:23:18Oh, I didn't tell you, I quit.
00:23:21That's huge.
00:23:22I've never been happier.
00:23:24No, really, it's like I'm finally living my life the way I was always supposed to.
00:23:30I hope you've slowed down a bit.
00:23:31I'm not doing those terrible 80-hour weeks still.
00:23:35Oh, no, I'm definitely doing those terrible 80-hour weeks, but you know me, I love it.
00:23:40What about you?
00:23:41Are you back at work?
00:23:42I'm just doing a little bit of consulting for some old UK clients.
00:23:46It's funny, my job was such a massive part of who I am, and now I just...
00:23:53I don't know, I'm so tied to the little sausage.
00:23:55I can't bear leaving him.
00:23:59Other people's kids, they suck.
00:24:00They suck.
00:24:01Kids are the worst.
00:24:02They're little shits, you know?
00:24:03Oh, little shits.
00:24:04They're grubby little hands, and they're grubby little minds.
00:24:08I never thought this podcast was going to take off.
00:24:10I was just doing it for fun, but now people are actually stopping me on the street and asking
00:24:16me for advice.
00:24:17Yes!
00:24:17It's like I'm actually connecting with people, and they're listening to what I'm saying.
00:24:24Oh, I'm sorry, what were you saying?
00:24:26Oh, Damien, stop.
00:24:28You at least look like you've got your shit together.
00:24:30Don't we all?
00:24:31Ow!
00:24:31Oh!
00:24:32I need a...
00:24:32No, you didn't know.
00:24:36Yeah, I know.
00:24:37That episode all about your balls, Jack's sack, that shit is hilarious.
00:24:47I shared it with the entire urological department.
00:24:50Well, yeah, big hospital?
00:24:52Yeah.
00:24:52Huge.
00:24:53Yeah.
00:24:53Glad they enjoyed it.
00:24:55She must be making so much money by now, right?
00:24:58You can quit that teaching job of yours.
00:25:01I don't really want to quit.
00:25:03I love teaching.
00:25:03I'm just saying, you could stay at home with a baby, get a gym, get super ripped, and
00:25:10be like a dilf.
00:25:13Ooh.
00:25:14What's your poison these days?
00:25:16Um, tequila works.
00:25:19Really?
00:25:20Yeah.
00:25:21I vaguely remember someone swearing it off after a gig in Lawrence.
00:25:25Yeah, well, that's because those country-ass margaritas gave me acid reflux, and then I
00:25:29couldn't sing.
00:25:31I don't have to worry about that anymore, so.
00:25:33I'm glad it all worked out for you, Bob.
00:25:37Yeah, I'm thriving.
00:25:40That little bundle of joy has hijacked my wife's libido, but tonight, I'm taking that
00:25:47back Liam Neeson's style, because tonight, there's no baby around to fuck things up.
00:25:52I think you might be good with the chalk.
00:25:59Total friends.
00:26:01Is that what we are?
00:26:04I hope so.
00:26:07It's a friendship.
00:26:07Uh-huh.
00:26:08Get in, honey.
00:26:18Get in, babe.
00:26:18Get in.
00:26:19It's a joke.
00:26:20Ah!
00:26:21Yay!
00:26:21There's no fun.
00:26:25All right.
00:26:25All right.
00:26:27You ready?
00:26:27No, no.
00:26:28Don't.
00:26:28Don't.
00:26:29Don't down.
00:26:29Fuck, please.
00:26:31All right.
00:26:34All right.
00:26:35Hey!
00:26:35Hey!
00:26:36Yes, that's awesome.
00:26:37Um, so the...
00:26:42Oh my God, it's like I don't let the board Jack in the corner.
00:26:44They're just like, can you run out?
00:26:45Can you run out?
00:26:46Can you get some?
00:26:51Nobody puts Jack in the corner!
00:26:58Dinner is served!
00:27:06How's everyone feeling so far?
00:27:12All right.
00:27:13Great.
00:27:14You know, I'm not feeling anything.
00:27:15I'm fine.
00:27:16Really, are you?
00:27:17I'm fine.
00:27:18Good.
00:27:19We're working on a gradual high here to ensure that everyone has an enjoyable ride.
00:27:22I'd like to provide you an enjoyable ride.
00:27:25What?
00:27:26You'll see two dishes in front of you.
00:27:27First, our Sofrito Tartelette with Tonato.
00:27:30That's coming in at five milligrams of THC.
00:27:33And on the larger plate, you'll see our poached halibut with leek vinaigrette.
00:27:36That is coming in at 20 milligrams of THC.
00:27:39Nice.
00:27:40Both use the sativa-dominant strain called Thug Pussy to keep you feeling energized and aroused.
00:27:47Oh, and to my vegan brother, blessings.
00:27:50In front of you, you'll see the vegan risotto with forest mushrooms and black truffle oil.
00:27:55Also, 20 milligrams of THC and will get you feeling aroused.
00:28:00Thank you so much.
00:28:01This looks so awesome.
00:28:03Thanks, Chef Sasha.
00:28:05Chef Sasha.
00:28:07Wait, I got it.
00:28:08One more.
00:28:09I got it.
00:28:10Thank you, Chef Sasha.
00:28:12I did it!
00:28:13It happens.
00:28:14You're not having a stroke.
00:28:16But definitely don't think about having a stroke.
00:28:18Oh, God.
00:28:19You taste pennies?
00:28:20Enjoy.
00:28:22Enjoy.
00:28:23Yes.
00:28:24Enjoy.
00:28:26Okay.
00:28:27This looks delicious.
00:28:28It does.
00:28:29I wish I could take a picture and post it.
00:28:32Take one with your mind.
00:28:36Did she say 20 milligrams?
00:28:38That sounds like a lot.
00:28:39It is a lot.
00:28:40I think that's a totally normal amount, right?
00:28:44Can we eat or?
00:28:45Yes.
00:28:46Yes.
00:28:47Of course.
00:28:48Bon appetit.
00:28:49'd you.
00:28:54Oh.
00:28:55Closed release Manila Wow!
00:28:56Uh...
00:28:57Oh.
00:28:58Manila, darling, you're not moving into centrality alone.
00:29:01Yes.
00:29:02There's something a lot of grit I'll lean.
00:29:03Oh.
00:29:04Yeah.
00:29:05That's what I'm going to it.
00:29:06Oh.
00:29:07No mood.
00:29:08Oh.
00:29:09Oh.
00:29:10Oh.
00:29:42I just wanted to say to our amazing couple, Jack and Jill, thank you for being such a beautiful example of love and living life to the fullest.
00:30:05Well done, you too.
00:30:06All right, well done.
00:30:07That's so sweet, Mo.
00:30:08You guys have always been so solid, like since college.
00:30:13It just feels like you figured it out early.
00:30:15I mean, Jack definitely figured it out early.
00:30:17Remember he had that whole spreadsheet of why Jill should date him, like, scientifically?
00:30:21I'll help you with that.
00:30:22I thought that was sexy.
00:30:23I knew what I wanted.
00:30:25I loved it.
00:30:26Deeply unsexy.
00:30:26You know, it obviously worked, because now you're this beautiful, perfect couple who always, you know, puts the other person first.
00:30:37Your love and support is truly inspiring.
00:30:43We love you, and, you know, we want your continued success in all things, in teaching, in your incredibly timely podcast.
00:30:53Hello.
00:30:54Your journey to parenthood, Jack's pants and shirt combo.
00:30:59I mean.
00:31:00We just want whatever it's trying to say.
00:31:02I hope it gets to speak its truth.
00:31:04Speaks to me.
00:31:06Anyway, we love it.
00:31:07We love all of it, and all of you, so happy birthday, and I am done.
00:31:11Thank you, Jill.
00:31:12I love you.
00:31:14I love you.
00:31:15I love you all so, so much.
00:31:24I'm so sorry, and I just want to thank each and every one of you for being here celebrating our 40th birthday.
00:31:32It means the world to me.
00:31:33I love you all.
00:31:34You're so welcome.
00:31:36How much higher are we going to get?
00:31:39Not high enough, buddy.
00:31:42My fingers are tingling.
00:31:46That's right, Jill.
00:31:48Why don't we find the bathroom?
00:31:49One more time?
00:31:50The bathroom.
00:31:51The bathroom.
00:31:52Oh, oh, I know.
00:31:54Oh, my God.
00:31:55It's upstairs.
00:31:56It's upstairs.
00:31:57But there is one downstairs.
00:31:58But there's a powder room.
00:31:58Does she need to shower?
00:31:59But there is one downstairs.
00:32:00Do you need to take a shower?
00:32:01So you have to go upstairs.
00:32:01You have to go upstairs if you have to shower.
00:32:03But if it's just the powder room.
00:32:04But if it's the powder room, it's to the left.
00:32:09Go find her.
00:32:10Hey, you want me to come with you?
00:32:11I used it today.
00:32:12I thought it was...
00:32:13To the loo?
00:32:14Yeah.
00:32:15Why?
00:32:16Well, maybe I could help.
00:32:18With what?
00:32:19Oh, whatever you want.
00:32:20No, I don't even know.
00:32:21What else?
00:32:21Oh, there's this designer.
00:33:32Lana?
00:33:33Lana!
00:33:33Oh, hi!
00:33:34Can you hear me?
00:33:36Hi!
00:33:36How's Rocco?
00:33:37Is he okay?
00:33:40He didn't.
00:33:42He drank it all.
00:33:43That's fantastic.
00:33:44Oh, well done.
00:33:45Oh, my God.
00:33:46Oh, my God.
00:33:52Lana, will you remember to keep checking the monitor just in case he gets unswaddled while
00:33:55he's sleeping?
00:33:57The swaddle?
00:33:59Swaddle?
00:34:00Yeah.
00:34:01It just...
00:34:02It happened to me the other night.
00:34:04Oh, my God.
00:34:08I know it's so not cool to do at the birthday party.
00:34:11I'm so sorry.
00:34:13I have to, okay?
00:34:15We'll be back first thing.
00:34:17Um, at seven?
00:34:19Maybe six.
00:34:20Let's say six.
00:34:21We'll be back by six.
00:34:22Yeah.
00:34:23Okay.
00:34:23Have a great night, Lana.
00:34:25I will.
00:34:27Thank you so much.
00:34:28Okay.
00:34:28Love you.
00:34:29Well, I do.
00:34:31Um, okay.
00:34:31Thank you, Lana.
00:34:33Bye.
00:34:34Bye.
00:34:35Yeah.
00:34:35Bye.
00:34:39John, I...
00:34:40I am madly in love with you.
00:34:47I'm so...
00:34:48I've been in love with you for ten years, and I just want to continue loving you forever.
00:34:53I've had this stupid fucking ring in my pocket.
00:34:55Oh, my God.
00:35:00I've been like, like, trying to find the courage.
00:35:30To just ask you to spend your life with me.
00:35:35And just make me the happiest human.
00:35:37There's a missile!
00:35:39There's a missile!
00:35:40It's coming to California, and we need to find shelter!
00:35:43Okay, Penelope's cut.
00:35:45We've all got the same text.
00:35:48Ballistic missile threat.
00:35:50Seek immediate shelter.
00:35:52It's probably just a drill.
00:35:53This is not a drill.
00:35:54That is the last line.
00:35:56Hold on.
00:35:56Hold on.
00:35:57Hold on.
00:35:58Wait, you got your phone?
00:35:59Yeah.
00:35:59I was checking on Rocco, and I got text.
00:36:01How did you find the box?
00:36:03What?
00:36:03How did you find the box?
00:36:04I hid it.
00:36:06It wasn't that hard.
00:36:07Why aren't you freaking the fuck out?
00:36:08We all got the same text.
00:36:11Fuck!
00:36:12Fuck!
00:36:14Is it this?
00:36:15Oh, my God.
00:36:16I'm freaking the fuck out.
00:36:17Holy shit.
00:36:18Yeah, did you?
00:36:19Oh, my God.
00:36:20What do we do?
00:36:20Okay, let me call a friend.
00:36:22Try your folks.
00:36:22Okay.
00:36:23Take your honor.
00:36:24Not since I got this.
00:36:25I'll tell you soon.
00:36:25How much time do we have?
00:36:29Does anyone know?
00:36:29Shouldn't we be going somewhere with less windows?
00:36:32Is anybody getting through?
00:36:32No!
00:36:33I did not survive cancer to go down like this.
00:36:36Look, I think he's just getting a busy signal.
00:36:38Me too.
00:36:38The lines must be jammed.
00:36:39Okay, I just got a text from Ben.
00:36:41This could be happening any minute, so we need to seek immediate shelter.
00:36:44What shelter should we be seeking?
00:36:45There's a basement.
00:36:46Great, let's all go to the basement.
00:36:47Okay.
00:36:49Should I know where that is?
00:36:51No, I know!
00:36:52Lead the way.
00:36:53I can do that!
00:36:54I can't go any faster!
00:37:08I'm going to shove.
00:37:11Shit, you okay, buddy?
00:37:13That's my ankle.
00:37:14That's my ankle.
00:37:15What happened?
00:37:19You got it.
00:37:21These fucking pants.
00:37:22Stop!
00:37:23Are you okay?
00:37:25Go, go, go, go!
00:37:25You did it!
00:37:26This way!
00:37:27You did it!
00:37:32I'm sorry!
00:37:46Come on!
00:37:49Hey!
00:37:49Hey!
00:37:50Hey!
00:37:50Hey!
00:37:50Are we all here?
00:38:02Hey!
00:38:04Hey!
00:38:04Go!
00:38:04Shit!
00:38:05Come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:38:07Guys, guys, look, I don't think we need to be in the glass-filled room.
00:38:10Let's just go to the right of the room.
00:38:11Okay.
00:38:12Guys, over here!
00:38:13I was just about to come get you.
00:38:15Come on, come on.
00:38:17Moe, Moe!
00:38:18Moe, Moe, do you think you can get a hold of any of you?
00:38:20Your government contacts get some more information.
00:38:22Who sent the bomb?
00:38:23How many bombs are there?
00:38:24Does the U.S. have all of our lines of defense?
00:38:26Yeah, so I'm trying to reach my friend who works in the Pentagon, but shit.
00:38:29What?
00:38:30There's no service down here.
00:38:31What?
00:38:32No, no, no, no, no.
00:38:33I'm not getting anything, anything.
00:38:34What the fucking fuck?
00:38:35There's no Wi-Fi.
00:38:36Well, circuits can get jammed with everyone trying to communicate at once.
00:38:39What the fuck is happening?
00:38:40This is the fucking apocalypse.
00:38:42Should we go upstairs?
00:38:43No, absolutely not.
00:38:44We are much safer in the basement.
00:38:45I mean, depending on the size and location of the missile, it...
00:38:48Who would bomb us?
00:38:50Really?
00:38:50Oh, my God.
00:38:51I know so many people who would bomb us.
00:38:52Oh, my God.
00:38:53The thing is, we don't know who launched it.
00:38:56It could be China, Russia, fucking North Korea, and we don't know what they launched.
00:38:59It might be a hypersonic missile, which can travel at 20 times the speed of sound,
00:39:02or a supersonic missile, which can usually evade all of our types of defense missile systems
00:39:07and different types of radar.
00:39:09The point is, there's a lot of different types of fucking missiles.
00:39:10So we may not even be able to detect the bomb.
00:39:13Missile.
00:39:14It's a missile.
00:39:14I said missile, like, 40 times.
00:39:16Yes.
00:39:16And what we really need to worry about is after.
00:39:18There could be nuclear fallout, which is why I think we need to stay indoors for at least
00:39:2224 hours.
00:39:2424 hours?
00:39:2524 hours?
00:39:26At least.
00:39:26Can you all sit the fuck down, please?
00:39:28I'm sorry.
00:39:29It's just a lot.
00:39:31Probably 48 when the missile strikes.
00:39:35And what is the probability of that?
00:39:37I don't know.
00:39:38Oh, God.
00:39:38We're going to have to wear those masks again.
00:39:40Can't we even live?
00:39:41Why don't we all just try to stay positive, right?
00:39:44You know, because thinking about the worst problem down here, that's not going to do anything,
00:39:47right?
00:39:48Uh, it's a fucking bomb, Jill.
00:39:50I fucking know, Sam.
00:39:52Just trying to stay positive about the motherfucking bomb, Sam.
00:39:55Missile.
00:39:55Mo, Mo, Mo.
00:39:56Yeah.
00:39:57Yeah.
00:39:57Listen, what's the likelihood that we'll be able to stop whatever missile is coming
00:40:00towards us?
00:40:01Um.
00:40:01That's what you analyze, right?
00:40:03Well, sort of.
00:40:03I analyze foreign weapons development, really, but the likelihood depends on a lot of different
00:40:08variables and factors.
00:40:09Okay.
00:40:10Okay.
00:40:10Rough estimate.
00:40:11Factoring in the factors and the variables.
00:40:13In your professional opinion, is this the beginning of World War III?
00:40:16Or are we going to be able to stop the invisible missile that's headed straight for us?
00:40:19And it all is going to be kind of like a misunderstanding.
00:40:21So it's a little tough to gauge?
00:40:23Okay.
00:40:24Okay.
00:40:24So you're saying it's pretty bad.
00:40:25Just leave her alone, Jack.
00:40:26Jack, our U.S. defense systems have the potential to protect its citizens against a nuclear attack.
00:40:31Has the potential?
00:40:33Ah, yes.
00:40:33Do they, though?
00:40:34Yes.
00:40:34Theoretically, I mean, in theory, everything's a theory.
00:40:37What about hypersonics?
00:40:39We don't spend enough on defense.
00:40:40We don't invest in military advancements.
00:40:42What the fuck are you talking about?
00:40:43Oh, we do spend money on defense.
00:40:44We need to spend more money on education.
00:40:46It has nothing to do with right now, Jack.
00:40:49Everything is connected.
00:40:50It's Sean.
00:40:51I can't breathe.
00:40:53I can't breathe.
00:40:54Honey, I can't breathe.
00:40:56Maybe?
00:40:57What's that?
00:40:57I don't know.
00:40:57Oh, my God.
00:40:59I don't know.
00:40:59Oh, my God.
00:41:00I'm really dizzy.
00:41:01Oh, my God.
00:41:02I can't breathe.
00:41:03And my chest is hurting.
00:41:04Hey.
00:41:04Hey.
00:41:04Joseph, you got me on your chest.
00:41:06I am.
00:41:08She is.
00:41:09Okay, what's wrong?
00:41:10What's wrong?
00:41:10What's wrong?
00:41:11Does it feel like you're underwater?
00:41:12Hell, yeah.
00:41:13Is there any pain radiating from your left jaw, left shoulder, left arm?
00:41:17Left?
00:41:17Yes.
00:41:18Is that my left?
00:41:19No, no.
00:41:20That feels fine.
00:41:20Okay, okay, okay.
00:41:21Nothing on your left side.
00:41:22Nothing on my left side.
00:41:23Okay, okay, okay.
00:41:24So, let me just take some deep breaths with me, okay?
00:41:26Okay.
00:41:26Deep breath in.
00:41:28Deep breath in.
00:41:30Deep breath in.
00:41:31Deep breath in.
00:41:33Deep breath in.
00:41:34Oh, I'm sorry.
00:41:36Feeling better?
00:41:37Yeah, a little.
00:41:38Okay.
00:41:38It's okay.
00:41:40She's having a panic attack.
00:41:41Okay?
00:41:42Oh, I have those all the time.
00:41:43She's fine.
00:41:44I'm fine.
00:41:46Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:41:46You're fine.
00:41:47You're going to be okay, Steve.
00:41:49Look, Jack, do me a favor.
00:41:51Yeah.
00:41:51Put your hand on her chest.
00:41:53Yes, that hand.
00:41:54Put that hand on my chest.
00:41:55Yes.
00:41:56So, you can help calm her down.
00:41:57Yeah.
00:41:58Give your body some time to adjust.
00:42:00You'll be fine.
00:42:02You're welcome.
00:42:03Jack, stay for it.
00:42:03Let's breathe.
00:42:05Where would I go?
00:42:06Don't leave.
00:42:07I think that we need to just stay positive down here in the bomb shelter.
00:42:12I need some fucking Wi-Fi so I can make sure my baby's okay.
00:42:15Ben, there's no Wi-Fi anywhere down here, all right?
00:42:16Ben, stay put.
00:42:17I texted Lana before we came down here to stay in the basement.
00:42:20Yes, I know, Sam.
00:42:22I just really think we need to be with Walgo right now.
00:42:24He's three hours away, and there's a bomb.
00:42:33I never should have loved 20 years ago.
00:42:48What?
00:42:49I should have stayed with you.
00:42:55Built a life with you.
00:42:59Logan.
00:43:00It just sucks that I'm not realizing this.
00:43:04I shouldn't have pissed about so much.
00:43:10I wasted so much time.
00:43:14I should have focused on my career.
00:43:17I let all this time just slip by.
00:43:18Maybe if I got my shit together sooner,
00:43:22I would have met Ben sooner.
00:43:29I could have had at least three more kids.
00:43:34Jesus Christ, shut up.
00:43:36I always wanted a big family.
00:43:38I always envisioned myself surrounded by a gaggle of kids.
00:43:44I would have taken just one if Jill would have been on board.
00:43:48What?
00:43:50What are you talking about?
00:43:54I found your birth control pills.
00:43:59Can we please not do this in front of all of our friends?
00:44:02Oh, yeah.
00:44:04We should wait till after.
00:44:06We're incinerated by a nuclear explosion.
00:44:08Jack.
00:44:09See, I've been trying to figure out.
00:44:10Why would you do that?
00:44:11So why would you do that?
00:44:12I don't know.
00:44:13I was going to tell you.
00:44:14Oh, yeah?
00:44:14You were going to tell me?
00:44:15Yeah.
00:44:16So what?
00:44:16Now you don't want to have a kid?
00:44:17Is that what's happening?
00:44:19I don't know.
00:44:21Fuck.
00:44:22Why would you tell me?
00:44:24Huh?
00:44:25Why would you tell me that?
00:44:26I don't know.
00:44:27I...
00:44:28Well, at least I didn't have to find out on the podcast.
00:44:32Okay.
00:44:32That's not fair, Jack.
00:44:34Oh, it's not fair?
00:44:35No?
00:44:36Hmm.
00:44:36So you air out all of our shit in front of all of your millions of followers who are basically
00:44:41strangers, yet you don't tell me the person that you live with.
00:44:44You lie to me.
00:44:46That's not fair.
00:44:47Do you want to know what else isn't fair, Jack?
00:44:49Jack, when your husband puts expectations on you, and doesn't listen to you, and makes
00:44:56a huge decision for the both of us, and doesn't see what I really wanted.
00:45:03That is what's not fair, Jack.
00:45:05Jack, not see what you wanted.
00:45:07I-I-I'm sorry that I did not trust the words that were coming out of your mouth.
00:45:11I didn't realize that when you said that you wanted to have a baby with me, what you really
00:45:15meant was that you wanted to talk about having a baby on your stupid fucking podcast.
00:45:18That is so fucked up, you asshole!
00:45:24That stupid fucking podcast is what's paid for tonight!
00:45:29And pays your cell phone bills!
00:45:31First of all, it is a family plan, okay?
00:45:33It just makes sense.
00:45:34Second of all, tonight, you want to just take a-just-just take it all back.
00:45:38You can start with these fucking leather pants.
00:45:40Here, I don't want these fucking leather-
00:45:41You know what, Jack?
00:45:43Maybe if you actually listened to my podcast, you would see why it's so successful.
00:45:47I mean, why do you even want a kid?
00:45:50Are you going to pick him up from soccer practice high out of your fucking mind?
00:45:54Mo and I hooked up with the Deltopia party in 2001!
00:45:57What?
00:45:58What?
00:45:59Sam?
00:45:59What?
00:46:00What do you mean, hooked up?
00:46:04We got together.
00:46:06Okay, so in my defense, I was very drunk.
00:46:09He could have been anybody.
00:46:11That's fucked.
00:46:12So you had sex with Mo and you didn't tell me?
00:46:15Oh my God.
00:46:17You dodgy fucker.
00:46:20Well, I wasn't going to mention this because, well, I didn't think you could handle it, but fuck it.
00:46:27I had sex with him.
00:46:30What?
00:46:31Oh my God!
00:46:33Oh me?
00:46:34Hi.
00:46:36Yeah.
00:46:38It was in, um, in London.
00:46:40Um, the, you were playing with the jinx at the half moon in, like, 2010.
00:46:482010.
00:46:49I didn't know.
00:46:49I didn't know.
00:46:51Oh, yeah.
00:46:54Yeah.
00:46:56Hey, how are you doing?
00:46:57I didn't recognize you with the...
00:46:59I know.
00:47:00Yeah, I was, um, well, I'm thinner now.
00:47:02Yeah.
00:47:02What a small world.
00:47:05How you been?
00:47:06I've been good.
00:47:07Yeah, I've been really good.
00:47:08Well, I didn't recognize you.
00:47:09I was getting, I know him.
00:47:11Yeah.
00:47:11Um, but you changed your hair.
00:47:13Uh, yeah.
00:47:14I had a, um, a blonde mohawk.
00:47:16Yes, you did.
00:47:17I remember very well.
00:47:18And it would not budge, even after...
00:47:21Yeah, it was crazy.
00:47:23It was really, really...
00:47:25It was really crazy.
00:47:26How could you fuck him?
00:47:30I knew you couldn't handle it.
00:47:31That's disgusting.
00:47:33Hey.
00:47:34What didn't you tell me?
00:47:35Well, I didn't tell you, Sam.
00:47:37Because I didn't know you knew him.
00:47:39I have been on holiday with Mo.
00:47:41You should have told me.
00:47:42Shut up!
00:47:44Who cares?
00:47:46Straight people!
00:47:48Oh, my God.
00:47:48You're so fucking dysfunctional.
00:47:51It's like bad reality TV.
00:47:52We make good reality TV.
00:47:54We make drag race and bake-offs.
00:47:57And you make MILF Manor!
00:47:59I'm sorry.
00:48:00I'm sorry.
00:48:01Okay.
00:48:02We should just keep this light and breezy.
00:48:05Yeah, that's a good call.
00:48:06That's a good call.
00:48:07Okay.
00:48:08Let's go around the room and just say, then,
00:48:12what we're grateful for.
00:48:14That's a good idea.
00:48:15Good idea.
00:48:16Do that.
00:48:17Why don't you start, Ish?
00:48:18What?
00:48:18Why don't you start?
00:48:22Um, I'm grateful for...
00:48:26Wow, what was I saying?
00:48:34What you're grateful for.
00:48:35Oh, my God.
00:48:36Oh, my God.
00:48:37I'm so high.
00:48:37I, um, I, um, I'm grateful for my family.
00:48:47For the strength that I didn't know I had.
00:48:50That I found with the help of the love of my life, Damien.
00:48:59You're my everything.
00:49:00You make me a better person.
00:49:03And you make me laugh every single day.
00:49:06You make me laugh every single day.
00:49:07That's very sweet.
00:49:08That's true.
00:49:09That's true.
00:49:12I'm grateful for my brother and my mother and my chosen family.
00:49:19My...
00:49:19I'm Russell's Griffon Sebastian.
00:49:22That's fucking...
00:49:23Fuckin' much.
00:49:28It was a fuckin' dog.
00:49:30It was my dog.
00:49:33And you, fucking...
00:49:34You and you. You're my soul mate.
00:49:37I love you so much. You're my best friend.
00:49:43I almost got to marry you.
00:49:46Almost.
00:49:48Maybe if we don't get blown up.
00:49:54Wow.
00:49:57Okay.
00:49:59You're up, Jack.
00:50:00What do I think?
00:50:04I'm thankful for how things used to be.
00:50:09I had to spend half of my life for the person
00:50:11who I thought I knew more than anyone else in the world.
00:50:16I miss that.
00:50:20I'm thankful for that life too, Jack.
00:50:26And I feel really lucky that I got to live
00:50:28such a wonderful life with you.
00:50:32That was really touching.
00:50:33Okay, who's next?
00:50:37I am grateful for my son.
00:50:43I'll never forgive myself for abandoning him.
00:50:46I look at our son
00:50:48and I can't believe we created that life together.
00:50:52We did that.
00:50:55He's perfect.
00:50:56He's...
00:50:57That's an unbiased fact.
00:51:00His little hands, his little toes.
00:51:03He's...
00:51:03All perfect.
00:51:07You're an incredible mother.
00:51:13Okay, I can go.
00:51:15Um...
00:51:15I am grateful for my family,
00:51:18my friends,
00:51:19and...
00:51:20and the work that I do.
00:51:22It's truly meant so much to me
00:51:27to know that I'm making a difference.
00:51:31And I'm really grateful
00:51:33for all of the moments I've had
00:51:35with every one of you.
00:51:37Truly grateful.
00:51:39I'm grateful that my band kicked me out.
00:51:42Wait, what?
00:51:43Yeah.
00:51:44I had been a few weeks ago,
00:51:45but, um...
00:51:47it's been brewing for a long time.
00:51:48Well, what happened?
00:51:50Creative differences.
00:51:52I was writing new material,
00:51:54and...
00:51:55they want to keep playing
00:51:57the same old shit.
00:52:00I'm so sorry.
00:52:05It's cool.
00:52:07Really, it's cool.
00:52:09I mean...
00:52:10At first I freaked out
00:52:12because I thought,
00:52:13is this my only identity?
00:52:14But then it...
00:52:17it granted my freedom.
00:52:20This exercise really worked.
00:52:22Yeah.
00:52:23Yeah.
00:52:25I feel like I'm awake
00:52:26after 20 fucking years, you know?
00:52:29All this music in my head...
00:52:32Sing something.
00:52:34Hmm.
00:52:35I drove all night
00:52:38Trying to hold what ain't right
00:52:43I know the answer
00:52:47Should I call you?
00:53:10Sawyer's.
00:53:10I still love that song.
00:53:12I wrote a good one.
00:53:33Are we leaving?
00:53:34No.
00:53:36Where were we going?
00:53:37Shh, shh, shh.
00:53:39Oh, Bingo.
00:53:40No.
00:53:45Hey, Ben, Ben, Ben.
00:53:46Yes?
00:53:47They have the same vase as us.
00:53:48What?
00:53:49They have the same vase as us.
00:53:50Look.
00:53:53Is that why you brought me in here?
00:53:55No.
00:53:56No.
00:53:56Okay.
00:53:56No, I brought you in here.
00:53:58Yeah.
00:53:58To get you alone.
00:53:59To tell you just how beautiful you are.
00:54:04Sam, I don't feel very beautiful.
00:54:06Well, you are.
00:54:07You're stunning.
00:54:09Oh, sorry.
00:54:10Oh.
00:54:10Sorry.
00:54:11Oh.
00:54:12Sorry.
00:54:13Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:14Sam, what are you doing?
00:54:15Fuck.
00:54:16I thought I just seized the moment.
00:54:19I'm scared to have a baby.
00:54:20I mean, I'm scared of my whole life just stopping and becoming all about the baby.
00:54:30And I am not ready for that to happen right now.
00:54:33I'm scared, too.
00:54:35You are?
00:54:36Yeah, everyone's scared.
00:54:38I mean, I don't even know if I would be a good mom.
00:54:40Right now, I love spending my time at work and on the podcast, and I'm really, really good
00:54:50at it, and it makes me really happy.
00:54:56I don't want to resent you for having to give that up, because then I really wouldn't be a
00:55:04good mom, but I think that somebody who wants to be a mom should really, really want that.
00:55:27I haven't slept, and everything is still fucking sore.
00:55:34I don't feel like myself.
00:55:35I feel fucking gross.
00:55:38Okay?
00:55:41I'm not in my body.
00:55:44It's like it still belongs to Rocco.
00:55:47I just wish I was with him.
00:55:49That's all I can think about.
00:55:50Me, too.
00:55:51A hundred percent.
00:55:53It's just given the circumstances, I thought we'd finally be able to have a little
00:55:57sexy sex.
00:55:59What kind of person wants to have sex at a time like this?
00:56:12Doesn't it bother you how long it's been?
00:56:14Honestly, Sam, I am so tired.
00:56:17I don't think about it.
00:56:19Well, you don't think about it.
00:56:20Well, that's a fucking problem, Pen.
00:56:23I guess it is a problem, Sam.
00:56:25What do you think?
00:56:26Yeah.
00:56:27Hypothetically, have we survived this?
00:56:30Will you ever be ready?
00:56:35I don't know.
00:56:40Is it me?
00:56:43I think everything happened so fast with us.
00:56:46We're going out, then pregnant, married, then a year and a half.
00:56:51I thought you wanted to get married.
00:56:52You wanted to get married.
00:56:55You were pregnant.
00:56:58Yeah.
00:57:01Is that the only reason we did it?
00:57:03No, it's not the only reason we did it.
00:57:07We did it because we love each other.
00:57:13Do you love me?
00:57:14You are the father of my son.
00:57:24Of course.
00:57:25I have love for you.
00:57:29You have love for me.
00:57:32Who says that?
00:57:34I love you.
00:57:39You don't love me?
00:57:40I just said I have love for you.
00:57:41I don't know what you want me to say, Sam.
00:57:43I don't want to hurt you.
00:57:45Sam, I'm sorry.
00:57:46I'm sorry.
00:57:48Sorry.
00:57:53I'm sorry.
00:57:54But just one thing.
00:57:56Do you have any idea how many women I could have fucked?
00:58:04Excuse me?
00:58:05Doesn't.
00:58:06Maybe even in the 30s.
00:58:08Low to mid-30s, but definitely somewhere there.
00:58:10That's how many women jump at me all the fucking time, Ben.
00:58:14Do you want a fucking trophy?
00:58:15No, I don't want a fucking trophy.
00:58:16Then why are you telling me?
00:58:20Why are you telling me?
00:58:22Just to hurt me.
00:58:24How can I hurt you?
00:58:26Your fucking hardness!
00:58:34Fuck you.
00:58:41I miss you.
00:58:43I miss you too.
00:58:45I miss you.
00:58:45So much.
00:58:53I try so hard to forget about you.
00:58:55I couldn't.
00:58:57You know.
00:58:59I just...
00:59:01I never felt anyone compared to you.
00:59:08I love you, Mom.
00:59:12I love you, too.
00:59:24Should we go again?
00:59:25Yeah, we could do better.
00:59:26I think so.
00:59:31No, you have this whole other life,
00:59:38this whole other world,
00:59:39and I'm not a part of it.
00:59:41And look, I love that you're happy.
00:59:43I do. I love it.
00:59:45But I'm not.
00:59:47You're not.
00:59:49I don't want you to be in a happy jack.
00:59:51I think maybe I wanted a baby
00:59:54and to start a family
00:59:57so I can get you back.
01:00:02Spend more time with you.
01:00:04We already are a family, Jack.
01:00:10And we always will be.
01:00:15A baby doesn't change that.
01:00:17But then we will be.
01:00:20I don't want you to be.
01:00:24I don't want you to be.
01:00:26I don't want you to be.
01:00:28I don't want you to be.
01:00:34What are you looking at?
01:01:04Is your marriage over?
01:01:10What?
01:01:34It feels like days.
01:01:37How much longer?
01:01:38God.
01:01:39Could it be any minute?
01:01:40Any second?
01:01:41This is awful.
01:01:42Just bomb us already!
01:01:43I keep thinking about the last few years.
01:01:46I went through a year of chemo, and then I went right back to work.
01:01:51You know, I made all these plans, and I don't know why I didn't do any of them.
01:01:56I was going to travel the world.
01:01:59With me?
01:02:04Of course.
01:02:05We should have planned a trip.
01:02:08I'm really sorry we never got married.
01:02:15You are?
01:02:16Yeah.
01:02:17I just, I think now that, you know, I'm on death's door.
01:02:24It's something that I really wanted all the time.
01:02:27And, you know, when I think about, when I picture our death, you know, like, I mean, obviously
01:02:36you die first.
01:02:37Obviously.
01:02:38You know, because you're very, very old.
01:02:41I'm seven months older than you.
01:02:44Seven months.
01:02:45You know, and I just saw us as married because, you know, it's...
01:02:50Be the loyal, much younger, mournful husband that never left your side.
01:02:56You know?
01:02:57You know?
01:02:58Yeah.
01:02:59And sweet.
01:03:00And kind of morbid.
01:03:02I never knew it meant that much to you.
01:03:07I think it does.
01:03:09We should have done it.
01:03:12We should do it now.
01:03:15We should do it now.
01:03:17Now?
01:03:18Yes.
01:03:19Why not?
01:03:20What do we have to lose?
01:03:21Nothing, I guess.
01:03:23Yeah.
01:03:24How do we do this?
01:03:25How do we do this now?
01:03:27I'm ordained.
01:03:28What?
01:03:29Yeah.
01:03:30I did it online last summer.
01:03:31Our drummer, Julie, and our makeup artist got married in Costa Rica.
01:03:35Ah!
01:03:36That's amazing!
01:03:38Let's do it!
01:03:41Let's do it!
01:03:43Let's do it!
01:04:01Let's do it!
01:04:02Here it comes...
01:04:03Please stop.
01:04:04Please stop.
01:04:05Welcome.
01:04:06We did it, guys.
01:04:07We're gathered here today for...
01:04:08Uh...
01:04:09Actually, for...
01:04:10Jack and Jill's birthday.
01:04:11But...
01:04:12Jack and Jill's birthday.
01:04:13But...
01:04:14And the...
01:04:15Bond text happened.
01:04:16We're gathered here today for...
01:04:18Uh...
01:04:19And the...
01:04:20And the...
01:04:21And the...
01:04:22Bond text happened.
01:04:23And we all rushed down here, and then...
01:04:24Other stuff happened.
01:04:25Uh...
01:04:26Uh...
01:04:27But now we're here.
01:04:28Celebrating the love.
01:04:29With Damian and Sean.
01:04:30You guys ready?
01:04:31Okay, okay.
01:04:32We did it, guys.
01:04:33We're gathered here today for...
01:04:35Oh, actually, for...
01:04:37Jack and Jill's birthday.
01:04:39But...
01:04:40And the...
01:04:41Bond text happened.
01:04:42Mm-hmm.
01:04:43And we all rushed down here, and then...
01:04:45Other stuff happened.
01:04:50Uh...
01:04:51But now we're here.
01:04:52Celebrating the love...
01:04:54with Damien and Eshaan.
01:04:57You guys ready?
01:04:59I'll keep it short,
01:05:00because time is with the essence.
01:05:02Damien,
01:05:04do you take Eshaan to be a wedded husband,
01:05:07to be your partner in life,
01:05:09to share a path of life with,
01:05:11equal in love,
01:05:13embraced as a mirror of your true self,
01:05:15to honor and cherish
01:05:17through good times and bad?
01:05:19I do.
01:05:24Great answer, buddy.
01:05:28Yeah.
01:05:29There it is.
01:05:31Fitz.
01:05:33Eshaan, same question.
01:05:36Do you take Damien to be a wedded husband,
01:05:39to be your partner in life,
01:05:40to share a path of life with,
01:05:42equal in love,
01:05:45to honor,
01:05:46to cherish him,
01:05:48through good times and bad?
01:05:49Still get it.
01:05:54Come on.
01:05:55I can't.
01:05:55What?
01:05:57Oh my God!
01:05:58It's happening!
01:05:59Oh my God!
01:06:01Oh my God!
01:06:03Was that it?
01:06:05Is that it?
01:06:06I don't know.
01:06:06I don't know.
01:06:07Is it over?
01:06:09Am I going to just spin the first one?
01:06:10Oh shit.
01:06:11What?
01:06:12The chef.
01:06:13We need to go get her.
01:06:15I'll go.
01:06:15No, no, no.
01:06:16She's dead.
01:06:17No, no, my plan is.
01:06:18It's my responsibility.
01:06:19I can go.
01:06:20There might be nuclear fallout, Penelope.
01:06:22I'm going upstairs.
01:06:24Through a pandemic.
01:06:24I am going the fuck upstairs.
01:06:27Wait!
01:06:29I'm going with you.
01:06:32Fine.
01:06:33Wait!
01:06:33Oh shit!
01:06:36Jesus Christ!
01:06:38You're going to need protection.
01:06:39Why are you screaming?
01:06:40That's fucked, you know?
01:06:42Jesus.
01:06:47I mean, I'm going to need protection.
01:07:01Fuck.
01:07:02Chef?
01:07:03Chef?
01:07:05Penelope?
01:07:05Oh my God!
01:07:08Oh my God!
01:07:11Still breathing.
01:07:12Oh thank God!
01:07:13I wouldn't normally move her in this state, given the circumstances.
01:07:18Ben? Ben! Grab her legs. Come on.
01:07:21Okay.
01:07:22Ready? One, two, three.
01:07:25Okay. Move it, move it.
01:07:27Okay, okay, okay.
01:07:27Okay, easy, easy.
01:07:28Tom, polster, polster.
01:07:29No, no, no, easy, easy.
01:07:40Ben!
01:07:41Oh, shit.
01:07:44Oh, fucking hell.
01:07:46There's no bomb.
01:07:47What?
01:07:52There's no fucking bomb.
01:07:57Oh, shit.
01:08:02There's no bomb!
01:08:05What?
01:08:06There is no missile threat or danger to the state of California.
01:08:10Repeat.
01:08:13Full salam.
01:08:14Oh, my God!
01:08:16Get out of here!
01:08:17Get out of here!
01:08:22Get the fuck out of this basement, Ben!
01:08:25Wait, but what was that explosion?
01:08:27Oh, my God.
01:08:28Okay, get out of here.
01:08:29Oh, my God.
01:08:31Oh, shit.
01:08:32Guys, hey, we...
01:08:33Oh, I'm sorry, Ben.
01:08:34We should get Jack to the couch and get...
01:08:35Oh, excuse me.
01:08:36That's not...
01:08:36I'm sorry.
01:08:37Sit down.
01:08:38Fine, fine.
01:08:39Okay, it's okay.
01:08:39We're almost there.
01:08:41Oop.
01:08:41Let me get a pillow here.
01:08:43Oh, my God.
01:08:47Oh.
01:08:47I got the same text.
01:08:50So did I.
01:08:51I'm gonna text you.
01:08:52Shoot real quick in your book.
01:08:53My parents are okay.
01:08:55They were hiding in their garage.
01:08:57I mean, was this a false alarm?
01:08:58I mean, what the fuck?
01:08:59It's so fucked up.
01:09:00Who would fuck up a nuclear bomb?
01:09:03The system was hacked.
01:09:04We can't know exactly what happened for sure.
01:09:06Another country just hacked our emergency alert system
01:09:08and fucked the shit out of all of us.
01:09:10Again, Ishan, we don't know that it was another country.
01:09:13It could have just been a guy in his underwear in Michigan.
01:09:15There's really only one thing we could know for sure.
01:09:19So we wouldn't have known any of this
01:09:20if it wasn't for a phone.
01:09:27What?
01:09:30Why are you looking at me like that?
01:09:32Well, Penelope,
01:09:36because if you didn't sneaky, sneaky
01:09:40and go grab the unplug box,
01:09:43then we would still be celebrating our birthday party.
01:09:47Mm-hmm.
01:09:47Hmm?
01:09:48Mm-hmm.
01:09:48Maybe eating some of that thug pussy.
01:09:51Yeah.
01:09:52You know?
01:09:52Mm-hmm.
01:09:53Wouldn't have experienced any of this, really.
01:09:55None of it.
01:09:56Who has a no-phone party
01:09:58and invites the mother of a newborn?
01:10:01Well, I'll tell you who.
01:10:03Me.
01:10:04I do.
01:10:04He does.
01:10:05Yeah.
01:10:06You don't have kids, so you don't understand.
01:10:08That's a little insensitive.
01:10:09Oh, shut up.
01:10:10It's just a fact, Jill.
01:10:12Okay, first of all,
01:10:13don't tell my wife to shut up.
01:10:15You mothers really shouldn't be away
01:10:17from their babies in the first few months.
01:10:20That sounds very judgy.
01:10:22And they definitely should not be attending
01:10:24no phone parties unknowingly.
01:10:27They're called unplug parties.
01:10:28Absolutely.
01:10:29It is to get old friends together
01:10:31to connect.
01:10:31Connect.
01:10:32Without phones.
01:10:33Absolutely, right.
01:10:34Which we would have done
01:10:35if you didn't grab yours.
01:10:37Mm-hmm.
01:10:38I didn't ask to escape reality
01:10:39and I didn't create this disaster.
01:10:42It's not my fault.
01:10:44Mm-hmm.
01:10:46Except it kind of is.
01:10:47Yeah.
01:10:48And even Jill took the night off
01:10:49and she's addicted to her fucking phone.
01:10:51Fine.
01:10:53If it makes you feel bad, blame me.
01:10:55I don't give a shit.
01:10:56I think I'm gonna go now.
01:10:58Okay.
01:10:59Okay, that sounds great.
01:10:59You coming?
01:11:01Do you even want me to come with you?
01:11:05I am going to be with our son, Sam.
01:11:07Are you coming?
01:11:08It's late and it's far
01:11:09and Rocco's probably asleep by now.
01:11:11Oh, my God.
01:11:12He's fine, Penn.
01:11:13Your priorities are fucked.
01:11:15Oh, my priorities?
01:11:16You've just told me you don't fucking love me
01:11:18so don't come out with your fucking priorities right now.
01:11:20I'm done.
01:11:21Okay, see you later.
01:11:22No, you won't.
01:11:23Thank you for a horrible evening, everyone.
01:11:26Good night.
01:11:28Good night.
01:11:29Sammy.
01:11:37Sammy, boy.
01:11:38Hold on.
01:11:39I got...
01:11:40Hey.
01:11:40Hey.
01:11:42I mean...
01:11:43I'm sorry, man.
01:11:46Did you have any fun?
01:11:49Yeah, she did.
01:11:51What happened down there?
01:11:55Why did you say you can't...
01:11:57Can we talk about this later?
01:11:59I want to talk about it right now.
01:12:02I don't upset you, Damien.
01:12:03No, it's too late for that.
01:12:08I've always been very honest about my feelings on marriage.
01:12:12I'm not a big fan.
01:12:14I never have been.
01:12:15I was open with you about that from the very first day.
01:12:17Yeah, exactly.
01:12:18That was in the beginning.
01:12:19That was years ago.
01:12:20Well, nothing has changed.
01:12:21Everything's changed.
01:12:21What has changed?
01:12:22You and I have changed.
01:12:23We've been together for ten years.
01:12:25I got you through cancer.
01:12:26I love you so much, Damien.
01:12:28I...
01:12:28Do you?
01:12:29Yes.
01:12:30I am a child of divorce.
01:12:32I am a divorce attorney.
01:12:35I know better.
01:12:35I have seen the worst in people.
01:12:37Well, then why did you agree to it down in the basement?
01:12:39I was in shock.
01:12:41You asked me to do it in front of all of your friends.
01:12:44We thought...
01:12:45We thought we were going to die.
01:12:47Oh, okay.
01:12:49So that's the only way you'd marry me?
01:12:53Cool.
01:12:54I think that we both just need to take a couple of breaths.
01:12:58It's been a really long night, Damien.
01:12:59The night's just getting started, party people.
01:13:02What?
01:13:03Oh, my God.
01:13:04Chef Sasha.
01:13:05It's kicking in, huh?
01:13:07What happened to you?
01:13:08Oh, I am so sorry.
01:13:09My liquid nitrogen tank exploded, and I blacked out for a bit.
01:13:13But all good now.
01:13:14That was the sound.
01:13:15Um, I do have some bad news.
01:13:19What?
01:13:24There is no side of sorbet.
01:13:27Oh.
01:13:28Oh, we don't need sorbet.
01:13:30I would actually like some sorbet.
01:13:32Well, she's had a long night, you know?
01:13:34She has?
01:13:40I only have the lemon blueberry pavlova with can of butter
01:13:43and the tiramisu with coconut-infused mascarpone
01:13:46for my vegan brother.
01:13:48Both coming in at a solid 15 milligrams of THC per se...
01:13:53I'm fine.
01:13:57It's just the nitrogen poisoning.
01:13:59It'll wear off in a few weeks.
01:14:00Okay.
01:14:01Both desserts use one of my favorite strains,
01:14:04pink punani.
01:14:05Of course.
01:14:06Which should help you unleash your creativity like it did mine.
01:14:13Oh.
01:14:14Wow.
01:14:15My God.
01:14:16Okay.
01:14:16Center of the table, please.
01:14:18Oh, God.
01:14:20That's so beautiful.
01:14:23Please don't touch it.
01:14:25Of course.
01:14:25Until after I leave.
01:14:26You got it.
01:14:26Of course.
01:14:27Well, I don't want to hold up the party
01:14:30and I think I should lie down
01:14:33and probably drink some vinegar.
01:14:35I have had such an amazing time
01:14:38getting to know each and every one of you
01:14:39and being your guide on this journey.
01:14:42Thank you so much
01:14:44and truly,
01:14:46namaste.
01:14:46Oh, yes.
01:14:47Thank you so much.
01:14:48Thank you, chef, chef.
01:14:49She doesn't even know.
01:14:55Maybe when she blacked out,
01:14:58she forgot about the bomb?
01:15:00She probably turns her phone off
01:15:01when she's working
01:15:02so she can stay present
01:15:04and be in the moment
01:15:05and actually enjoy the experience of cooking.
01:15:09Those desserts do look pretty good.
01:15:12Yeah, they do.
01:15:13Here, hold this.
01:15:16Excuse me.
01:15:18Excuse me.
01:15:19Where are you going, honey?
01:15:33What's this going on?
01:15:36Oh, shit!
01:15:37What?
01:15:38Did that go?
01:15:38That is so punk rock!
01:15:40Yes!
01:15:41Oh, my God!
01:15:42I can't believe I did that.
01:15:44I just threw my phone in the fire!
01:15:46Yeah, you fucking did!
01:15:48Come on!
01:15:48It's so fucking good!
01:15:50Come on!
01:15:52Come on, who's with me?
01:15:54I'm with you!
01:15:54Yes, Logan!
01:15:55Give me your phone!
01:15:56I don't know where mine is.
01:15:57He doesn't even know where his phone is!
01:15:59That's perfect, Mo!
01:16:00Come on, Sam!
01:16:00Yes!
01:16:01Let's throw all of our phones
01:16:02in the fucking fire
01:16:04and let's feel free!
01:16:05Wow.
01:16:06Jack!
01:16:07My darling, I'll help you!
01:16:09Yes!
01:16:10Yes!
01:16:11Oh, I love you so much!
01:16:13Hey, I love you, too.
01:16:16Woo!
01:16:16Oh, yeah!
01:16:18That's hot.
01:16:19Mmm!
01:16:21You can do this!
01:16:22I'm proud of you, buddy!
01:16:23Come on!
01:16:23You can do this!
01:16:24Come on!
01:16:24Do it!
01:16:25Oh, I missed.
01:16:27I'll get it for you.
01:16:28Okay.
01:16:28I'll get it.
01:16:28I'll get it.
01:16:29Okay.
01:16:30Ow!
01:16:30Ow!
01:16:31Okay.
01:16:34Ah!
01:16:34Yes!
01:16:35Ah!
01:16:36Doesn't that feel good?
01:16:37It would have felt better
01:16:39if I made it, but yeah.
01:16:41Here, come on.
01:16:41It's okay.
01:16:42Let's watch it burn.
01:16:45I mean, I'm fully with them,
01:16:47but I think I'm just gonna
01:16:48put it on vibrate.
01:16:49Right?
01:16:52We're gonna be okay, right?
01:16:55I hope so.
01:16:57It would suck if we weren't.
01:16:59I promise to make
01:17:08more time for you.
01:17:10And I won't let so much time
01:17:12go by without connecting
01:17:13with you, okay?
01:17:16Okay.
01:17:18I promise not to smoke
01:17:19so much pot on the couch.
01:17:21Oh.
01:17:22Well, try to mix it up
01:17:24and smoke some
01:17:25on the patio instead.
01:17:26We can't say anything
01:17:34about anything.
01:17:35Just act normal.
01:17:38Nothing happened.
01:17:40Yeah, no, I can't do it.
01:17:44You have to.
01:17:46I can't, because
01:17:47you told me
01:17:50you're still in love with me,
01:17:51Mom.
01:17:51Well, it was an intense moment.
01:17:57I thought we were gonna die.
01:17:59Right.
01:18:00But isn't that when
01:18:02people share
01:18:03the most intimate thoughts?
01:18:11I can get through anything,
01:18:14as long as I don't lose you.
01:18:16No.
01:18:16You'll never lose me.
01:18:21You're my family.
01:18:26I love you
01:18:27so
01:18:29fucking
01:18:30much.
01:18:33Well, I love you
01:18:35so fucking much.
01:18:37We make no plans
01:18:46Make out
01:18:50all our checks
01:18:52to care
01:18:53See, I got no future
01:18:58cause with you
01:18:59there's no past
01:19:01So make
01:19:02my checks
01:19:03to care
01:19:04Just give me
01:19:10space
01:19:11Just give me space
01:19:12We got enough time
01:19:19to erase
01:19:20I've been pretending
01:19:25so we thought
01:19:26you'd save face
01:19:28To make
01:19:28our checks
01:19:30to care
01:19:31You guys, you sound so beautiful together.
01:19:47Ah, oldie but a goodie.
01:19:50Hey, we haven't sung happy birthday to these two yet.
01:19:53Yeah.
01:19:54Oh, no, you don't have to sing.
01:19:55Yes, we do.
01:19:56Yes, we do.
01:19:57Oh, and here's your key, everybody.
01:19:58I love the key.
01:19:59Happy birthday to you
01:20:03Happy birthday to you
01:20:06Happy birthday, dear mwah
01:20:09Happy birthday to you
01:20:15Oh, thank you.
01:20:20Oh, I love you guys
01:20:21So much
01:20:22I love you guys
01:20:22Let's eat
01:20:24Great idea
01:20:26I want one of these things
01:20:27I want one of these
01:20:28Give me a little of that
01:20:30Yeah, do you want some
01:20:31Yes, please
01:20:32Oh, my God
01:20:44It feels good to be alive
01:20:53It really does
01:20:56You guys, guess what time it is
01:21:00It's time for a dance party
01:21:02Woo!
01:21:04Come on
01:21:05She's lost her mind
01:21:07Let's do it
01:21:08We need some music
01:21:09Oh, there it goes
01:21:11I love this song
01:21:14Let's turn it up
01:21:15Yes!
01:21:16Oh, my God
01:21:17Yes, let's do it
01:21:18Yes, I knew you would
01:21:19Bring it, girl
01:21:20Come on
01:21:22You want to dance with me
01:21:24I am crazy
01:21:25I know
01:21:26You saw those moves
01:21:27Come on
01:21:28Come on
01:21:28Yes, girl
01:21:29Come on
01:21:30Let's do it
01:21:31I'm going to the
01:21:34Welcome back
01:21:35Where are you going?
01:21:36Oh, my God
01:21:37Yes
01:21:41Yes
01:21:42Yes
01:21:43Come on
01:21:44Sit down
01:21:44I'm 40
01:21:47Ah!
01:21:49Oh, my God
01:21:50Earthquake!
01:22:03Hello, hello, hello, listeners
01:22:05Welcome back to Marriage in the Middle Ages
01:22:08where we talk about everything and anything to do with marriage
01:22:12With me today is a very special guest
01:22:15You have heard me talk about him many, many times before
01:22:19because he is my husband
01:22:22Please welcome Jack Langer
01:22:25Oh, I didn't realize there'd be an applause track
01:22:30That's nice
01:22:30I kind of want that every time
01:22:31All for you, baby
01:22:32Thank you
01:22:33Well, it's good to see you, my wife
01:22:35It's good to see you, too
01:22:37My husband
01:22:39Thank you
01:22:40Yes, long overdue
01:22:42Thank you for joining us
01:22:43Today is the day that we are going to tell all the listeners all about
01:22:48Drumroll, please
01:22:50Our 40th birthday party
01:22:53There you go, Walt
01:22:54Yes, I'm not sure I'm ready to relive this
01:22:58But I am here for you
01:23:00And your wonderful listeners
01:23:02So, Jack
01:23:04Are you ready to dive in?
01:23:06Yes, let's go
01:23:07Let me go
01:23:12Oh
01:23:14Oh
01:23:18Oh
01:23:22Oh
01:23:24Oh
01:23:26I'm moving through the heat
01:23:38This room is hazy
01:23:40Keep running through the lights
01:23:43Inside my head
01:23:45I find myself a drink
01:23:47And now it seems I'm six or seven years
01:23:51Good God
01:23:54I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:23:57But I don't care right now
01:24:01I'm gonna keep this body going
01:24:04So light me up
01:24:06So light me up
01:24:12So light me up
01:24:18Her face I've never seen
01:24:20Her body close to me
01:24:22And suddenly there's nothing in between
01:24:26I'm moving through the beat
01:24:28That's all I like to do
01:24:31It's half past three
01:24:33Good God
01:24:36I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:24:39But I don't care right now
01:24:42I'm gonna keep this body going
01:24:45Good God
01:24:49I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:24:52But I don't care right now
01:24:55I'm gonna keep this body going
01:24:58Good God
01:25:01I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:25:04But I don't care right now
01:25:07I'm gonna keep this body going
01:25:10Good God
01:25:13Good God
01:25:14I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:25:17But I don't care right now
01:25:20I'm gonna keep this body going
01:25:23So light me up
01:25:25So light me up
01:25:25So light me up
01:25:31So light me up
01:25:33So light me up
01:25:34So light me up
01:25:35So light me up
01:25:36So light me up
01:25:37So light me up
01:25:38So light me up
01:25:39So light me up
01:25:40So light me up
01:25:41So light me up
01:25:42So light me up
01:25:43So light me up
01:25:44So light me up
01:25:45So light me up
01:25:46So light me up
01:25:47So light me up
01:25:48So light me up
01:25:49So light me up
01:25:50So light me up
01:25:51So light me up
01:25:52So light me up
01:25:53So light me up
01:25:54So light me up
01:25:55So light me up
01:25:56So light me up
01:25:57So light me up
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