- 5 months ago
Wait With Me
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:00:30It's not porn, it is best selling entertainment.
00:01:00It's not porn, it's not porn.
00:01:30It's not porn, it's not porn.
00:02:00It's not porn, it's not porn.
00:02:10is it christian romance no is it amish oh how i love those amish novels definitely not amish
00:02:21are you writing now yes may i see i'm afraid i don't let anyone see my work in progress
00:02:28needs an editor's touch oh you were in here yesterday too right and the day before
00:02:33okay what's the problem did management send you in here oh no no i i'm just the baker
00:02:44betty the baker you do the cookies yes i make the cookies the scones holy cow those scones are
00:02:51delicious do you really think so oh yes have you tried the danishes i haven't seen the danishes
00:02:58i usually get here around 10 they must be gone by 10. oh well that's a good sign
00:03:03i think so too good for you betty well how many days have you been in here
00:03:09is there something terribly wrong with your car i bet they could get you a rental actually
00:03:16i'm not really a writer betty can you keep a secret i'm here with corporate we've been worried about
00:03:23the service in this branch so they sent me here to scope things out for a few weeks well i'd never
00:03:28heard any complaints before but you wouldn't it's all very internal but i'm gonna need you to keep
00:03:35my presence here quiet that's okay mom's the word thank you for your discretion we aren't worried
00:03:43about you at all hi dean kate i don't need an oil change yes but you're my friend and you'll do
00:04:07anything for me i need your car so i don't blow my cover i lied to an old lady i'm in deep this is so
00:04:16desperate it doesn't matter what matters is that i've got my writing mojo back and i'm not giving it
00:04:21it up please why don't you just find a back entrance instead of borrowing every neighbor's car
00:04:32you never thought of that this deadline has me freaked out okay no whatever wait you don't need
00:04:39my car
00:05:09so
00:05:20you
00:05:39Oh shit are you okay oh my god my computer
00:05:52okay it's not cracked but will it boot oh rookie mistake this is what I get for not backing it
00:06:03pop oh okay oh hey are you hurt
00:06:15you uh you work here I do I'm a mechanic were you getting a service
00:06:45yes then what brings you back here completed cars are out front these back
00:06:52doors are the employee entrance right I um was coming out for a smoke great can I bum
00:07:00one weren't you just fake smoking licorice you saw that yes before my
00:07:07triumphant fall I saw something that looked like a make-believe cloud of
00:07:12cherry smoke floating all around you I quit smoking three months ago licorice
00:07:19helps doesn't hurt maybe hurts the ego how macho is it to fake smoke candy my
00:07:26ego is never in danger babe well with book boyfriend arms like that it's no wonder
00:07:32book boyfriend book boyfriend the leading man in a romance novel that readers claim
00:07:38ownership of because he doesn't likely exist in the real world basically the ideal man I
00:07:44haven't heard of that before I take it you're into books or something or something and it doesn't
00:07:54surprise me you've never heard of it you're not my demo
00:07:59what if you're my demo well we won't know that until the end
00:08:10the library like I told you in my text bullshit you smell like coffee and
00:08:33rubber so known as freedom you actually went back to the tire depot Kate come on
00:08:40they are gonna call the cops on you for what stealing complimentary coffee and
00:08:43cookies come on that's not a thing but loitering is you think they'd really do
00:08:50that anyway I found a back entrance no more borrowing cars oh that's even better
00:08:57skulking in and out of side entrances brilliant I don't care Lindsay I found
00:09:02my words at the TD and I'm not letting go until I'm done the TD Tiger Depot it's
00:09:08such a mouthful you know what's a mouthful
00:09:10Risen this is a crutch Kate you've got to see that who cares I couldn't write a
00:09:17thing before I went there and writing is what keeps me in this posh townhouse on
00:09:21the outskirts of beautiful Boulder if I want to continue being this stunning
00:09:25creature living the high life I have to follow the vibe and the vibe is strong
00:09:29at tire depot can we stop dancing around what's really going on here watch
00:09:34yourself that is luxury reclaimed barnwood this is about your ex who happens to
00:09:42still live with you he's gone for the summer that is hardly living together and
00:09:47as soon as he gets back I'm not budging we're playing this game of chicken and
00:09:51there's no way I'm letting that entitled fucker take this house so even though
00:09:55you can't write in it you want to fight for the house with no vibe that's
00:09:59irrelevant there's no way in hell I'm moving I have to write a follow-up
00:10:03bestseller that is no small feat I live next door to my best friend you don't
00:10:09want me to move out do you know what it looks like a letter from tire depot they
00:10:17figured it out stop being so dramatic have they ever mailed you something
00:10:21before no oh my god what if this is the moment I feared they might be taking my
00:10:25mojo away dear miss Smith we have taken notice of your enjoyment of our customer
00:10:30waiting area read it an invoice for refreshments holy shit what I know
00:10:39what a hundred and eighty dollars for lattes and cookies Kate how many did you
00:10:44eat I don't eat lunch oh wait a damn minute what this has danishes here okay I
00:10:52have never had a danish there in my life you haven't I'm being punked Dean
00:11:09okay here's a plan I'm gonna kneel here you knock on the door when he opens it
00:11:13oh jump punch Kate what if he didn't do it I mean that's so extreme surely he has a
00:11:21punch to the balls out coming for something he's a mountain man whore they
00:11:25always have it coming oh why are you so mature
00:11:31you're a dick and I know that fake invoice was from you oh oh nice to see
00:11:40you too Kate just be grateful she didn't junk punch you
00:11:43hmm I saved you from that thanks lens mm-hmm how'd you know it was me the
00:11:50letterhead was too perfect and I know you know how to use Photoshop you should try
00:11:56to suck more oh that is the first time I've heard that you should have seen her
00:12:00Dane I thought she was going to start crying when she saw that letterhead look
00:12:04I tried to get you to come check out my co-working space we've got coffee and
00:12:07donuts there too you know yeah those aren't my people not my vibe and your
00:12:13vibe is this tire shop you gotta see it to believe it man if you find your vibe
00:12:19somewhere you have to fight for it Tire Depot is to me what Fanny Braun was to
00:12:25John Keats poetry in motion man okay you sound like a lunatic
00:12:30what if you could work better and faster elsewhere you'd have more time to hike
00:12:36bang chicks prank your friends buy more plaid trousers oh you've been noticing my
00:12:42slacks Kate no and don't change the subject I feel like a fucking champion when I'm
00:12:49blasting out words and sitting next to some gal who's wasting her life on social
00:12:53media the real morale boost for Mercedes Lee love letter and I still can't
00:12:58believe you hit a best-seller list with that pen name my readers get me they'd
00:13:03have to so you're going back there tomorrow hells yeah this smut won't write
00:13:07itself
00:13:10I have two large pizzas parmesan breadsticks a pound of boneless wings and three
00:13:15dipping sauces Mercedes Lee love letter I have two large pizzas parmesan
00:13:22breadsticks a pound of boneless wings and three dipping sauces
00:13:27Mercedes Lee love letter I have two large pizzas parmesan breadsticks a pound of
00:13:35boneless wings and three dipping sauces claim an hour it's going in the trash I'm
00:13:41Mercedes I've been calling your name for like five minutes well I didn't order
00:13:46pizza I don't care
00:13:47fucking whore
00:13:56I'm trying to keep a low profile
00:14:02everyone is staring at me I'm fucking mortified laughing so fucking hard
00:14:11you interrupted my anal scene I was in the zone wheezing on the floor how do you have time for
00:14:22this don't you have a book to write best 53 bucks I ever spent
00:14:30you're back
00:14:50I had an issue with one of my tires
00:14:56which car I drive the Cadillac SRX a Cadillac isn't that kind of an old lady
00:15:06car it is not an old lady car it is a luxury SUV and it is wonderful well if
00:15:14you have that kind of money you should look into a Lexus or a BMW much more sexy
00:15:18feel to the body well maybe I don't want a sexy body feel what's your name my name is Mercedes
00:15:28that's perfect you look damn fine in a Mercedes what do you drive an Indian motorcycle why am I not
00:15:39surprised am I that predictable more predictable than my old lady car well it's nice to officially meet you
00:15:47Mercedes I'm miles Hudson now tell me why you're really here would some leftover pizza keep you
00:15:59quiet I might buy you some time time is all I need you're serious super serious very well Mercedes
00:16:09I'll leave you be for now see you around the water cooler miles
00:16:14you haven't noticed that hot redhead in the comfort center have you
00:16:29nope was she there today yeah and yesterday what was she doing just on her computer so she's safe any free Wi-Fi call the cops we got a mooch on our hands I don't get a mooch vibe from her mostly feels like desperation
00:16:53hmm now it all makes sense you have a fetish for desperate girls bro I do not yes you do you like to save them be the gallant protector sweeps in guards them this girl does not need saving so she's nothing like Jocelyn dude I'm done with Joss can we please stop talking about her you got dumped by your longtime sweetheart for some
00:16:58rich ugly prick that shit that shit sticks with you forever forever
00:17:05you have a fetish for desperate girls bro you have a fetish for desperate girls bro I do not yes you do you like to save them be the gallant protector sweeps in guards them this girl does not need saving
00:17:10so she's nothing like Jocelyn dude I'm done with Joss can we please stop talking about her you got dumped by your longtime sweetheart for some rich ugly prick that shit sticks with you forever
00:17:27what a sausage fest why do we live here again because my uncle's the manager and no other boss would put up with our shit and maybe that oh definitely that
00:17:44oh
00:17:46oh
00:17:48oh
00:17:50oh
00:17:52oh
00:17:54oh
00:17:56oh
00:17:58oh
00:18:13oh
00:18:15oh
00:18:16oh
00:18:18oh
00:18:20oh
00:18:22oh
00:18:23oh
00:18:24oh
00:18:26Hey, Red.
00:18:36Mercedes?
00:18:43Shit, did I bust out?
00:18:46Yeah. Have you fainted before?
00:18:49Only when I don't eat.
00:18:51Why didn't you have a cookie or something?
00:18:52I feel bad eating all the cookies.
00:18:58Betty worked so hard on them.
00:19:01It's bad enough that I drink all the coffee.
00:19:04What's wrong?
00:19:06No one ever tells her how good those cookies are.
00:19:11I got here early so that I could try her danishes.
00:19:14And they were already gone.
00:19:17How crazy is that?
00:19:18Betty has to get up so early to make them fresh every day,
00:19:24and then people just cobble them up in seconds.
00:19:27I wonder if anyone appreciates her in her life.
00:19:31Do you know if she's married?
00:19:34Betty gets a hug for me every time I see her.
00:19:38The guys here love her baked goods.
00:19:41Really?
00:19:41Really.
00:19:42That's really sweet.
00:19:45I'm sorry.
00:19:47I get emotional when I'm hungry.
00:19:50You know how some people get hangry, I get amongry?
00:19:54Emotional and hungry?
00:19:55It's a thing.
00:19:56I got them to add it to Urban Dictionary.
00:20:00Well, let's get you something to eat then.
00:20:02Like pizza, not cookies.
00:20:04I love pizza.
00:20:05I know.
00:20:06I saw your shirt the other day.
00:20:08With the pizza?
00:20:09I love that shirt.
00:20:10Oh, my God.
00:20:15I am probably bugging you.
00:20:19No, you're not.
00:20:20Please, I practically just fainted in your arms.
00:20:25We could not get any more book worthy if we tried.
00:20:29Mercedes, this isn't the first time I've had a girl faint at the side of me.
00:20:31Just feed me before you start reciting any more cheesy romance novel lines.
00:20:50I had to kill a guy for these.
00:20:52I hope you didn't get blood on them.
00:20:53Jesus, now what?
00:21:07Oh, come on.
00:21:08There was nothing sexy about that.
00:21:10I just stuffed my face with a breadstick.
00:21:11So, what are you so busy doing every day that you forget to eat?
00:21:20All I can say is that I was in the zone.
00:21:24You need to drink water.
00:21:27On a day that you didn't faint into my arms, you could have a beer first.
00:21:30But please, for my own sanity, will you drink some water first?
00:21:47Now, tell me what you're doing every day.
00:21:50Think of this as a safe space.
00:21:54Nothing will be held against you.
00:21:58And you've been doing this for over three weeks now?
00:22:01Basically.
00:22:03But why won't you tell me what you're writing?
00:22:06Because it weirds people out.
00:22:08I won't judge.
00:22:09You'll judge.
00:22:11Well, if you tell me you're writing the next Game of Thrones,
00:22:14we'll basically have to get married and live happily ever after.
00:22:18It's not the next Game of Thrones,
00:22:20but thank you for the most romantic proposal I've ever received.
00:22:25You get a lot of proposals?
00:22:27Yeah.
00:22:30Only from guys with issues.
00:22:31I don't have issues.
00:22:35Where were you born?
00:22:38Utah.
00:22:40What brought you here?
00:22:42Tech school.
00:22:44Did you know anyone when you moved out here?
00:22:47I followed this girl.
00:22:48What was she like?
00:22:52I don't want to talk about her.
00:22:53Ooh.
00:22:54Yikes.
00:22:55Did I just stumble on a sore spot?
00:22:57Say the word and I'll stop.
00:22:58Word.
00:22:59Got it.
00:22:59No ex-girlfriend talk.
00:23:03I mean, I'm over her,
00:23:04but I just don't like to think about her.
00:23:06I totally get it.
00:23:09Douchebag ex-boyfriend over here.
00:23:10True.
00:23:16So what do you do when you're not working?
00:23:19I like to ride my motorcycle,
00:23:23hike,
00:23:24read.
00:23:25Occasionally I go to the lake.
00:23:27Hmm.
00:23:28Cool.
00:23:28Well,
00:23:29I'll make sure to go shopping for my Harley this weekend.
00:23:32You do that.
00:23:34Come on.
00:23:35Let's get you back to the shop
00:23:36before I start boring you
00:23:38with why you should get an Indian
00:23:39instead of a Harley.
00:23:40Oof.
00:23:41Mechanic talk.
00:23:43Sounds kinky.
00:24:19Sex appeal isn't created in a fancy gym
00:24:22with weights and treadmills.
00:24:24It's born in powerful, grungy garages
00:24:29where men,
00:24:32real fucking men,
00:24:34work with their hands.
00:24:40But they get so dirty,
00:24:42they have to use special manly soap
00:24:45to clean themselves up.
00:24:47You can't find that shit at Bath and Body Shop.
00:24:50This is pure, fucking testosterone.
00:24:52This is pure, fucking testosterone.
00:24:59Billionaire romance is out.
00:25:03Mechanic romance is in.
00:25:08So very in.
00:25:11Push.
00:25:28This.
00:25:28All right.
00:25:59Week of work down. You look hyper-focused.
00:26:02Yeah. I, um, I got a new book idea today.
00:26:08Any big plans for the weekend?
00:26:10My buddy and I might go to the Golden Gate Park tomorrow.
00:26:13We try to camp and hit this great hiking trail there every summer.
00:26:17Sounds fun. Super masculine.
00:26:21What about you?
00:26:23Oh, I will probably do some more writing.
00:26:27Sounds exciting.
00:26:28Oh, it is.
00:26:29Well, you have a good weekend.
00:26:36I have no idea why I just kissed you on the cheek.
00:26:39That was really inappropriate.
00:26:41No worries here.
00:26:43Endless dirty thoughts live rent-free in my mind.
00:26:46I swear I'm usually a lot smoother than this.
00:26:49Don't worry. Your book boyfriend status is still very much secure.
00:26:54See you Monday, Mercedes.
00:26:58See you at the coffee machine.
00:26:59Cheers, buddy. Cheers.
00:27:09What are you waiting for, bro?
00:27:14She tells you she has dirty thoughts and you don't think, yeah, I'm gonna tap her.
00:27:19No, she's too cool for a random hookup.
00:27:23Then I'd have to see her every day in the comfort center.
00:27:25It would be awkward.
00:27:27Wait, you just don't go in there anymore after you bang her.
00:27:30Well, problem solved.
00:27:32Two.
00:27:32I like seeing her.
00:27:38Oh, my gosh. Thank you.
00:27:40Is that that same redhead?
00:27:47Yeah.
00:27:49Ooh.
00:27:52I'll visit you in jail.
00:27:54What?
00:27:55Yeah, when you get arrested for killing that guy, I will visit you in jail.
00:28:02Dude, I thought you were just friends with this girl.
00:28:05I am.
00:28:07Wouldn't fucking call it, bro.
00:28:10Hey, Miles.
00:28:11Hey, Mercedes.
00:28:13Fancy seeing you here.
00:28:16I thought you were going camping.
00:28:18I thought you were riding.
00:28:20Girl needs a break sometimes.
00:28:23I'll find a coffee shop tomorrow.
00:28:26This is my buddy, Sam.
00:28:29Hey!
00:28:30Nice to meet you.
00:28:32Mercedes.
00:28:33Right.
00:28:34Mercedes.
00:28:36Well, I will...
00:28:38Can I buy you a drink?
00:28:40Drink sounds good.
00:28:43Here.
00:28:44Take my spot.
00:28:44I'm going to go say hi to a friend.
00:28:46He's the DJ tonight.
00:28:48Thanks.
00:28:49Nice to meet you.
00:28:50Yeah, you too.
00:28:54What's your poison?
00:28:55Miles.
00:29:07Mercedes.
00:29:08Why haven't you asked me to hang out again since we had pizza together?
00:29:15Tire Depot seems safer.
00:29:17Safer.
00:29:20Meaning that I won't run into you and break my computer again?
00:29:24Something like that.
00:29:27So what are your plans really tonight?
00:29:30You're just hanging out with Sam or are you guys on the hunt?
00:29:34On the hunt?
00:29:35For tail.
00:29:36A one-night stand that gets really awkward in the morning because she wants to make you pancakes,
00:29:42but you would rather chew your arm off and sneak out before she wakes up.
00:29:46Something like that.
00:29:49I could tell that about you.
00:29:51How?
00:29:53It's my business.
00:29:54So, what's your type?
00:30:00Draws your eye.
00:30:01What are we working with here?
00:30:03I don't know.
00:30:07Brunettes, I guess.
00:30:09My ex was a blonde.
00:30:11No more blondes.
00:30:12Brunettes it is.
00:30:14Let's see.
00:30:15Not my friend Lindsay.
00:30:19She already dated my friend Dean and it was so awkward for months after.
00:30:24What about her?
00:30:27Nah, I try to avoid packs.
00:30:29There's always one friend who cock blocks,
00:30:32one friend who tries to steal the guy,
00:30:33and one friend who slut shames the other two.
00:30:36Man.
00:30:38Girls can be mean.
00:30:39You're telling me.
00:30:40What about you?
00:30:45Why aren't you on the hunt?
00:30:47You said you're over your ex, right?
00:30:49Oh, I totally am.
00:30:50He is vile.
00:30:52And your friend Dean isn't a prospect?
00:30:56No way.
00:30:58He is my neighbor,
00:30:59and he reminds me of my brother.
00:31:01Uh-huh.
00:31:03You know what?
00:31:04You're right, Miles.
00:31:06I should totally find a random hookup tonight.
00:31:08Well, I never said anything about random.
00:31:10Well, you're doing it, so why can't I?
00:31:13You don't seem like the random type.
00:31:15Well, maybe I should be.
00:31:29Can I tell you a secret, Miles?
00:31:33You can tell me anything, Mercedes.
00:31:35My writing makes me horny.
00:31:42I'm sorry, what?
00:31:44I'm serious.
00:31:46I have a sex toy that works really fast and really well,
00:31:49but sometimes I just miss the heat of a man, you know?
00:31:54Not really.
00:31:56I'm the heat of a woman.
00:31:57You might have to elaborate with great detail.
00:32:07You asked for it.
00:32:08The heat of a woman is so much more than temperature.
00:32:17It's her soft, sensual curves.
00:32:21The way that your fingers dig into the meat of her thighs when she's wrapped around you.
00:32:25The delicate little bumps on her ribcage when she's throwing her head back in pleasure.
00:32:32Tight little nipples and pillows of creamy softness.
00:32:37The fact that you could fold your body around her and envelop her almost entirely
00:32:43and still want more.
00:32:49That kind of heat.
00:32:55You're totally right, Veronica.
00:33:00Damn it.
00:33:01I didn't want you to know.
00:33:04Why not?
00:33:05What's the big secret?
00:33:07Because it'll change the way that you look at me.
00:33:10How so?
00:33:10You'll either think that I'm some kind of sex freak,
00:33:14or you'll be embarrassed by what I do and not want to tell anyone.
00:33:18Are you joking?
00:33:20Well, your buddy doesn't count.
00:33:21He's probably a hornball.
00:33:23I mean anyone that is important to you.
00:33:28It's a big reason why my ex and I broke up.
00:33:30He asked me to lie to his family about what I did for a living.
00:33:34What a fucker.
00:33:36Yes.
00:33:37But I write some really kinky shit.
00:33:39It's not exactly easy to tell your grandma about.
00:33:42I would tell my grandma about you.
00:33:45You would not.
00:33:47I fucking would.
00:33:48Grandmas hate me.
00:33:50My grandma hates me.
00:33:51She's really religious, and every time that I come home,
00:33:53she tries to arrange for a meeting with me and her priest.
00:33:57She thinks that I need an intervention or an exorcism or something.
00:34:00I'm sorry, that's not funny.
00:34:03It's kind of funny.
00:34:08Come with me.
00:34:14Where are we going?
00:34:15Calling my grandma.
00:34:16No, Miles, are you insane?
00:34:17It's after midnight.
00:34:18She loves me.
00:34:19I'm her favorite.
00:34:20Okay, okay.
00:34:22We'll call my sister.
00:34:23Miles, what are you doing?
00:34:25Too late.
00:34:29Hello?
00:34:30Meg?
00:34:31I want to ask you a question.
00:34:34Why is it so loud?
00:34:35Miles, how is it possible for you to call for me from 500 miles away?
00:34:40Big brother intuition.
00:34:41Just ask your question.
00:34:42Okay, so I met this girl.
00:34:44She's super fucking hot.
00:34:46Gross, Miles.
00:34:47Sorry, okay.
00:34:48So she writes sexy books, like that's her job.
00:34:51Dirty, kinky shit, I think.
00:34:54And she was saying that grandmothers hated her,
00:34:56and I said our grandma would be totally into it.
00:34:59True or false?
00:35:00Duh, Grams is a freak.
00:35:01Totally true.
00:35:07So, who is this girl?
00:35:09I want to read her stuff.
00:35:11I'll find out.
00:35:13But I'll call you back, mate.
00:35:15Don't fuck that dude tonight.
00:35:20What happened?
00:35:20What did I say?
00:35:21Was it...
00:35:22Mercedes, what are we doing?
00:35:39I don't know.
00:35:40I just kissed you, I guess.
00:35:41Yes, you did.
00:35:43And as hot as that was, we have to stop.
00:35:46Right.
00:35:47We're in public.
00:35:47I like you, Mercedes, but I'm not in the position to like someone right now.
00:35:55Wait, what?
00:35:58After everything that you just said with your sister?
00:36:00I don't know.
00:36:00I don't know.
00:36:00I don't know.
00:36:00I don't know.
00:36:01I don't know.
00:36:01I don't know.
00:36:02Got it.
00:36:04I'm sorry.
00:36:06I'm sorry to put you through such a difficult situation.
00:36:09Mercedes, wait.
00:36:11I don't want things to be weird.
00:36:14Well, you shouldn't have flirted with me then.
00:36:17See you around, Miles.
00:36:18why are you here oh my god what is that horrible smell it's nothing wait wait is that a tire
00:36:40scented candle hello don't stop on my account burnt rubber scented soy candle i can't believe
00:37:02this is a thing jesus h you got it bad kate i know can't write a damn word and all i want to do is
00:37:10go back to tire depot then go so you kissed him and he turns you down big deal what are you in the
00:37:17seventh grade go back to the tire depot she has a point kate it'll be awkward for a day three tops
00:37:23he'll probably stay in the garage and ignore you you're right my house smells like shit now too
00:37:32fine i'll go back but only because burnt rubber is not the same as new rubber
00:37:38so we rotate and balance the tires but the rattling sound that you were hearing is uh unfortunately
00:37:47uh
00:37:54so
00:38:26How's the book coming?
00:38:28Coming along.
00:38:30This is the point in the story where I rip the couple apart and ruin everything they thought they knew about each other.
00:38:36Ouch.
00:38:38Can't they just be happy?
00:38:40What's dramatic about happy?
00:38:42My readers like the pain, the torture.
00:38:47It makes them make up sex that much better.
00:38:52You know, my sister texted me.
00:38:53She asked for your full author name so she could look you up.
00:38:57Really?
00:38:58I warned you.
00:39:00We are a family full of readers.
00:39:05You're gonna laugh.
00:39:07I was drunk when I came up with it.
00:39:11My full pen name is Mercedes Lee Love Letter.
00:39:15What's your real last name?
00:39:22It's Smith.
00:39:26Also, I write a lot of BDSM.
00:39:28So does this mean we don't have to be awkward?
00:39:36Yeah.
00:39:38Friends.
00:39:39Good.
00:39:40Because as a friend, I was wondering if you might be able to help me with some research for my next book.
00:39:48What did you have in mind?
00:39:49You're gonna throw your leg over, but don't let your ankles touch this area here.
00:39:52Got it.
00:40:00It'll make me feel better if you wear it.
00:40:02It'll protect you a little.
00:40:09Okay, get on.
00:40:10Okay.
00:40:22Okay, you ready?
00:40:24Ready.
00:40:27Woo!
00:40:27Woo!
00:41:12I thought that was incredible.
00:41:15You weren't scared?
00:41:16No. Was I supposed to be?
00:41:18My ex hated this thing.
00:41:20My ex is a fool.
00:41:22I mean, I understand that motorcycles are dangerous, but the danger is what makes it exciting.
00:41:27You took the words right out of my mouth.
00:41:29Unfortunately, my ex liked a different kind of danger.
00:41:34Do you want to tell me what you mean by that, or do you want to say a word again?
00:41:37My ex loved the cheating kind of danger.
00:41:43Yikes.
00:41:45It wasn't just one guy. That's the hardest part.
00:41:49How you can bald-faced lie to someone you care about, that's not the fun kind of danger for me.
00:41:54Not at all.
00:41:57I'm so sorry.
00:42:00It's fine.
00:42:01I blame myself for not walking away sooner.
00:42:04She made me a jealous head case with baggage for days.
00:42:07Yeah.
00:42:11Jealousy is the worst.
00:42:13Although, I will tell you, from a writer's standpoint, readers love a possessive man.
00:42:19Is that right?
00:42:20So I should be thanking my ex for making me a possessive asshole?
00:42:22God, no.
00:42:23Well, she sounds like too much of an asshole to get any credit for the man you are today.
00:42:29Well, your ex sounded like an asshole, too.
00:42:32I still can't believe he made you lie about your job to his family.
00:42:34Right?
00:42:36Why did we ever date them?
00:42:38I ask myself that all the time.
00:42:40I guess you could say that if we didn't go through all that, then we might not be here, enjoying this awesome view.
00:42:56You're missing something really beautiful.
00:42:59No, I'm not.
00:43:05I can't figure you out, Miles.
00:43:06I can't figure me out, either.
00:43:21How's it going?
00:43:26No way.
00:43:27You just finished?
00:43:28I just finished.
00:43:32Congratulations, Mercedes.
00:43:34Couldn't have done it without you, Miles.
00:43:36We should celebrate.
00:43:37Buy you a drink?
00:43:38Actually, I'm having a little The End party at my house on Friday.
00:43:43I want to come by.
00:43:45I'd love to.
00:43:46Great.
00:43:56Don't forget to call me Mercedes tonight.
00:43:58Mercedes!
00:43:59See?
00:44:00Hi, everyone!
00:44:03Mercedes is doing a keg stand to celebrate finishing her book.
00:44:06What?
00:44:07What?
00:44:07No way!
00:44:08Mercedes is not doing a keg stand, because you made me buy that shitty IPA.
00:44:11Mercedes likes light beer and complimentary coffee and riding sex pants!
00:44:17Yeah!
00:44:17Woo!
00:44:18And hard and fast wall sex!
00:44:21Yes!
00:44:22Woo!
00:44:22And a formal scene where a guy takes off a girl's panties and fingers them in his tuxedo pocket all night long!
00:44:29That was really specific for you!
00:44:30That was really specific for you!
00:44:31Miles!
00:44:32I'm going to go get a drink.
00:44:33I'm going to follow that guy.
00:44:36I'm going to follow those guys.
00:44:37I'm going to follow those guys.
00:44:38Bye!
00:44:39Bye!
00:44:40Bye!
00:44:41Bye!
00:44:42Bye!
00:44:43Bye!
00:44:44Bye!
00:44:45Bye!
00:44:46Bye!
00:44:47Bye!
00:44:48Bye!
00:44:49Bad guy.
00:44:51I'm lindsey!
00:44:52Best friend and neighbor.
00:44:55That's my tiki bar over there.
00:44:57Can I get you something to drink?
00:44:59I'm miles.
00:45:00Thanks, i'm good for now.
00:45:01Okay!
00:45:02I'm going to follow those guys.
00:45:04Bye!
00:45:08Can we go somewhere and talk?
00:45:11Sure.
00:45:24You have a roommate?
00:45:28Kind of.
00:45:30So it's a guy?
00:45:32Yes.
00:45:35Figures.
00:45:37It's not that Dean guy, right? You said he's your neighbor?
00:45:40He is my neighbor. It's not Dean.
00:45:43Then who is it?
00:45:45No one.
00:45:48I'm sorry, I should just go.
00:45:50My roommate, uh, is gay.
00:45:55Seriously?
00:45:58And he's out of town for the summer, so...
00:46:02Why are you acting like this?
00:46:06I thought you only wanted to be friends.
00:46:11It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.
00:46:21What can I do to help?
00:46:23I'm overprotective, I'm overbearing, arrogant.
00:46:24Okay.
00:46:25Pretty much everything I do is in the extreme.
00:46:27I try not to be jealous, I do.
00:46:29She...
00:46:30I'm not her.
00:46:31I know you're not her.
00:46:33I just really need you to not do things to make me jealous.
00:46:35Why?
00:46:36Because it'll make me want to fuck you so you don't ever want to look at another guy again.
00:46:39Prove it.
00:46:41I hope you know what you're asking for, Red.
00:46:42for no date.
00:46:43I really need you to not do things to make me jealous.
00:46:45Why?
00:46:48Because it'll make me want to fuck you so you don't ever want to look at another guy again.
00:46:51I hope you know what you're asking for it
00:47:21You're not getting this back
00:47:42Jesus fuck, how are you real?
00:47:51Jesus fuck, how are you real?
00:48:21Oh, you're a dirty girl Mercedes
00:48:24I'm glad you guys
00:48:27I let your rough hands on my body
00:48:31See how hot we look together
00:48:35I had to talk dirty through what you did the other night
00:48:42I love when you put your finger in my mouth like that
00:48:49Oh god
00:48:52Mercedes
00:48:59Shirt thief
00:49:15I've been looking for this shirt for ten minutes
00:49:31Are you in a pancake mood or a cut your arm off and run with?
00:49:40I could eat
00:49:40Go sit down
00:49:42I feel like I need to tell you
00:49:59That I didn't come here last night to do that
00:50:03Okay
00:50:06I mean, don't get me wrong
00:50:09It was really good
00:50:10Fucking great, actually
00:50:12It was, wasn't it?
00:50:13But I just want you to know that wasn't my plan
00:50:17Is this the part where you tell me that you're not in a position to like someone again?
00:50:24Maybe
00:50:24It's fine
00:50:26It is
00:50:29This is no big deal, Miles
00:50:32We had sex
00:50:34You didn't ask me to go study
00:50:36I'm not getting this twisted up
00:50:39So you're good with this?
00:50:44Just being casual?
00:50:46Yeah
00:50:46I'm a workaholic, so it's not like I have time to devote to a boyfriend
00:50:51Though I might need your help with
00:50:57Some book research
00:50:59Book research?
00:51:01I thought you were done
00:51:02Oh, how little you know about writing
00:51:05Tire Depot was the easy stuff
00:51:08I want help with the bedroom stuff
00:51:12You write erotic novels
00:51:15What more could you need to know?
00:51:16Okay, so for my new book
00:51:20I want to write from a dual point of view
00:51:22So one chapter will be in the female voice
00:51:25And the next chapter will be in the male voice
00:51:28And I'll alternate between the two
00:51:29I know what dual point of view is, Mercedes
00:51:32Okay, sorry
00:51:34So I'm going to need your help getting into the mind of a man
00:51:41Should we start now?
00:51:45I'd hate to see your education suffer
00:51:46Actually, since we're sticking with this whole friends with benefits thing
00:51:53I was wondering if you could help me with a little project first
00:51:58Like a naked kind of project?
00:52:01I mean, you can be naked if you want to, but it might not be safe
00:52:06Could you help me move my roommate's shit downstairs and into a moving pod?
00:52:13Absolutely
00:52:17Friends have to earn their benefits sometimes
00:52:20Thanks
00:52:24Oh my god, Hannah
00:52:25I have entered into a casual friends with benefits situation
00:52:29With a mechanic from Tire Depot who thinks my name is Mercedes
00:52:32Wait, this is actually happening to you? Like in real life?
00:52:35Yes!
00:52:36And I like him way more than just a friend
00:52:38So I'm in crisis mode
00:52:40What do I do?
00:52:41Besides phone him every chance you get?
00:52:43Yeah, I mean, my alter ego's taking the reins here
00:52:45I fully understand
00:52:47And I've kind of been avoiding him this week to sort of play cool
00:52:50So that he doesn't know that I like him
00:52:52Which you do
00:52:52Yes, but I don't want him to know that
00:52:55I mean, is this relationship worth me telling him my real name?
00:52:58Or is it just sex?
00:52:59Are you done?
00:53:00I could use some sage advice here
00:53:02Listen to me
00:53:03Here's what you're going to do
00:53:05You are going to go camping
00:53:07Camping?
00:53:09Camping
00:53:10Why?
00:53:11Kate, outdoors, you guys love that shit
00:53:14Just tell him it's for book research and you need his help
00:53:16Ooh, that's good because I actually use that excuse
00:53:19Perfect
00:53:19You're going to be adorable
00:53:21And fumbling
00:53:22And not know how to cast a fishing pole
00:53:25And he's going to realize how much fun it is to go camping
00:53:27And get to fuck in a tent
00:53:29By the end of the trip you'll know if you need to fish or cut bait
00:53:32Hmm, you should be a writer
00:53:34Oh
00:53:35Hannah, this is good
00:53:36You're a genius
00:53:37I'm going camping
00:53:38Just, um, let me know where I have the pizza delivered to
00:53:41Ha ha, bish
00:53:42Hey Kate
00:53:43You here for a cronut?
00:53:44You know it
00:53:45It's going to be a hot minute before the new badge is ready
00:53:47But go ahead and take a number and we'll bring them right out
00:53:49I'll take two and a cup of coffee
00:53:51You got it
00:53:52My dick misses you
00:53:57Your dick is insatiable
00:53:59Are you dry-hopping me?
00:54:01Uh-huh
00:54:02Tell me what you're thinking
00:54:04I want you naked and in a bed now
00:54:08How are the words flowing?
00:54:10Not as good as the other night
00:54:11You are soaking wet
00:54:14Oh my god
00:54:16You're at the bakery
00:54:18I could think of something else I'd rather be eating
00:54:21Let me take care of you
00:54:22OMG, you're filthy
00:54:26Says the smart writer
00:54:29Feeling inspired?
00:54:355,000 words in three hours
00:54:37It's Tire Depot magic right there
00:54:40Maybe it's Miles Hudson magic
00:54:44Oh, Jesus, Sam
00:54:52Hi, Dean
00:54:53I was literally standing there for almost five minutes
00:54:57I'm reading my texts
00:54:59So, what is so important that you had to see me?
00:55:05I don't know what you mean
00:55:06We do this every week
00:55:08Yeah
00:55:09You've never texted me three times the day of
00:55:13To make sure that I was coming
00:55:14I take cronuts very seriously
00:55:18Dean
00:55:20I saw his truck outside your place a couple nights ago
00:55:25Whose truck?
00:55:27Miles, who else?
00:55:28How do you know it was his truck?
00:55:32Because I don't know any other guys in Boulder
00:55:34Who would drive a beastly vehicle like that
00:55:36Oh my god, you're such a snob
00:55:39So, he spent the night?
00:55:42What, did you come back and check in the morning?
00:55:46Maybe
00:55:47Stop worrying
00:55:49We're just fooling around
00:55:52It's nothing serious
00:55:52See, that is exactly what I'm worried about
00:55:55The guy rejected you once already
00:55:58Thank you for reminding me
00:56:00Any guy that jerks you around like that is an idiot
00:56:03He's not an idiot
00:56:04He's a mechanic at a tire depot
00:56:07How bright can he be?
00:56:08Are you kidding me?
00:56:09Hey, just calm down
00:56:11Coming from a high school dropout
00:56:13I got my GED
00:56:15And I am self-educated
00:56:18In what?
00:56:19Being an asshat?
00:56:21I surround myself
00:56:22With people who are inclusive
00:56:24And non-judgmental
00:56:26Because I have a weird job
00:56:27I don't want judgy friends in my corner
00:56:30Because that would make me a hypocrite
00:56:32And Miles is so encouraging about what I do
00:56:36More encouraging than you have ever been
00:56:38And he's not dumb
00:56:41At all
00:56:41He's actually really fucking insightful
00:56:44And you might see that
00:56:45If you quit looking down your nose at people
00:56:47Don't go, Kate
00:56:50No, I'm sorry
00:56:51But if you're going to start acting like this
00:56:54Then I don't see how we can continue to be friends
00:56:56Kate
00:56:57I like you
00:57:02Yeah, well, I liked you too
00:57:04Until you started acting like a douche nozzle
00:57:06No, I mean
00:57:08I really like you
00:57:10And I
00:57:12Oh, shit
00:57:13I don't think it's something I can ignore anymore
00:57:16I mean
00:57:17How long?
00:57:23A couple years
00:57:24But I was with Lindsay
00:57:27And you were with that douchebag Dryston
00:57:28Why didn't you tell me?
00:57:31I didn't want to be a rebound
00:57:32You're hooking up with a guy
00:57:34Who still doesn't even know your real name
00:57:36How do you think that's going to end?
00:57:39He wants it casual
00:57:40But I want the whole thing
00:57:42The good
00:57:43The bad
00:57:44All of it
00:57:45I'm sorry
00:57:47I'm sorry, Dean
00:57:48But I just don't feel the same way
00:57:52But you are one of my best friends
00:57:58And I don't want to change that
00:57:59I need you to go
00:58:03But why?
00:58:06We all have our own
00:58:08Little places
00:58:09And this is my tire depot
00:58:12Please
00:58:13I am sorry, Dean
00:58:21Hey
00:58:31What's that?
00:58:35A carburetor
00:58:36What does it do?
00:58:39Um
00:58:42Kind of a lot
00:58:43Do you really want to know?
00:58:45Yes
00:58:46Well
00:58:48It mixes the proper ratio
00:58:50Of gas and air
00:58:51Inside of an engine
00:58:52For combustion to occur
00:58:53Nowadays most cars
00:58:55Have fuel injectors
00:58:56But the classics
00:58:57Still run on these puppies
00:58:58Interesting
00:59:00It's kind of like how
00:59:02A candle needs oxygen to burn
00:59:05Combustion of an engine
00:59:07Can't take place
00:59:08Without the air
00:59:09The carburetor brings in
00:59:10Kind of like how
00:59:15An orgasm
00:59:18Can't be achieved
00:59:19Without friction
00:59:21Sure
00:59:22You could draw that parallel
00:59:24I would like to draw
00:59:26That parallel
00:59:27Soon
00:59:28Did you have something in mind?
00:59:33Watch your step up here
00:59:35Smells so good
00:59:40Miles, this is perfect
00:59:42I didn't know girls
00:59:44Could be this excited
00:59:45About camping
00:59:45Well, don't judge a book
00:59:47By its cover, mister
00:59:48Look
00:59:50There's a path
00:59:51That leads right to the water
00:59:52Perfect
00:59:53Come on
00:59:55Come on
00:59:55We got work to do
00:59:56Gotta set up camp
00:59:57This looks brand new
01:00:11Yeah
01:00:12I just do a sleeping bag usually
01:00:14So you brought this for me
01:00:16Not only for you
01:00:18This will save my knees big time
01:00:21You're such a horny bastard
01:00:24Says the smut writer
01:00:26Seriously?
01:00:38Seriously
01:00:40Take your shorts off
01:00:43I figured you were thirsty
01:00:50We've earned these
01:00:52Yeah, camping is hard
01:00:55Mountain air suits you
01:01:04I'm just in a good mood
01:01:07It's amazing how much
01:01:09Nice her life is
01:01:10With no drama
01:01:10Do you ever talk to your ex?
01:01:17Not a word
01:01:17And that's good
01:01:19You never told me
01:01:22How you found out
01:01:23She was cheating on you
01:01:24She got pregnant
01:01:26With some rich old guy's kid
01:01:28We were on a break
01:01:30At the time
01:01:30Wow
01:01:32The layers
01:01:34Do you think
01:01:39That she got pregnant
01:01:39On purpose?
01:01:41No
01:01:41Yes
01:01:45I don't know
01:01:47Probably
01:01:47I have to wonder
01:01:50What kind of a fuck
01:01:50Would I was
01:01:51To not really realize
01:01:52She was always
01:01:53Money obsessed
01:01:53Thought being a mechanic
01:01:55Was too blue collar
01:01:56Wanted me to make more money
01:01:58You seem like
01:02:01You're doing just fine to me
01:02:02See, thank you
01:02:03I'm just pissed off
01:02:05I wasted the best years
01:02:06Of my life with her
01:02:07Who said they were
01:02:09The best years?
01:02:11Look around you, Miles
01:02:12It's a pretty beautiful day
01:02:14You want for nothing
01:02:16That is an incredible quality
01:02:19In a person
01:02:19And I mean, look at you
01:02:23You're smoking hot
01:02:25You got a great job
01:02:27House, friends
01:02:28Really sexy fuck buddy
01:02:30Thank you
01:02:33So don't sweat the past
01:02:36Focus on the now
01:02:38Seriously, right now
01:02:40My bobber disappeared
01:02:42Several minutes ago
01:02:43And I don't know
01:02:43Shit, you got a bite
01:02:44Are you kidding me?
01:02:52I got a bicycle tire
01:02:53What the hell, Colorado?
01:02:56Way to keep it classy
01:02:58My hands hurt
01:02:59Surely you can see
01:03:01The irony in this
01:03:02Babe, you got a tire
01:03:03This is kidful
01:03:05Truth or dare?
01:03:26Truth
01:03:27Do you ever get horny
01:03:29In the garage
01:03:30At Tire Depot?
01:03:31What?
01:03:34You're working
01:03:35On a customer's car
01:03:36And your hands
01:03:38Are getting really dirty
01:03:39And you're just really
01:03:40Digging in there
01:03:45And you just
01:03:46I'm afraid not
01:03:50Damn
01:03:51But
01:03:57Classic car work
01:03:59On the other hand
01:04:00If I'm working
01:04:02On one of those
01:04:02And an old car
01:04:03That hasn't run
01:04:04In fucking decades
01:04:05And suddenly roars to life
01:04:06Then hell yes
01:04:08Rock solid
01:04:09Ha
01:04:13I knew it
01:04:15Perverts attract perverts
01:04:17Okay
01:04:27Truth or dare
01:04:28Truth or dare
01:04:28Dare
01:04:30Ooh
01:04:31Somebody has secrets
01:04:32Shut up
01:04:33Skinny dip in the lake
01:04:36The lake that birthed
01:04:39My blessed tire
01:04:40No way
01:04:40Who knows what the hell
01:04:42Else is in that thing
01:04:43It's fine
01:04:44I knew you wouldn't do it
01:04:46All talk
01:04:47And no action
01:04:49Um
01:04:51Need I remind you
01:04:53Who has been
01:04:54Sneaking into Tire Depot
01:04:56For weeks now
01:04:57You call that dangerous
01:04:58I am consuming
01:05:00Complimentary beverages
01:05:01Without service miles
01:05:03That is just as bad
01:05:05As thieving
01:05:05Such a cold
01:05:07Hard criminal
01:05:08Fine
01:05:10I'll do it
01:05:11But you have to do it
01:05:13With me
01:05:13And why would I do that
01:05:15Because I'll be naked
01:05:17Come on now
01:05:27We made it this far
01:05:29Come on now
01:05:29We made it this far
01:05:31Is that gonna hurt
01:05:50When you jump in the water
01:05:51Not if you hold it
01:05:52Come on
01:05:55Get it off
01:05:56Woohoo
01:06:01Woohoo
01:06:02Mercedes?
01:06:32Do you feel like do you feel that feel what oh my god, that's freezing
01:07:02to me?
01:07:12Oh my god.
01:07:14Oh my god.
01:07:18Oh my god.
01:07:30Oh my god.
01:07:34Oh my god.
01:07:50Oh my god.
01:07:52Oh my god.
01:08:10Oh my god.
01:08:14Good morning.
01:08:24Morning.
01:08:36You've been busy this morning.
01:08:38Yeah.
01:08:40It's a muddy mess so I figured we should head back early.
01:08:43Oh, okay.
01:08:48What can I do to help?
01:08:55I forgot the pancake mix.
01:08:59Don't read into that.
01:09:08Well, thanks for the help with the research.
01:09:25Anytime.
01:09:28You okay?
01:09:29I'm just tired.
01:09:30Shouldn't have gotten the mattress pad.
01:09:32Hmm.
01:09:33Looks like you got company.
01:09:40I'll see you later Mercedes.
01:09:42Okay.
01:09:43Bye.
01:09:53Hi Dean.
01:09:54Hey Kate.
01:09:58Wanna come in for some coffee?
01:10:00Is it complimentary?
01:10:02For people who aren't assholes it is.
01:10:12Nothing to say about that loud muffler on Miles' truck?
01:10:15I'm surprised you know what a muffler is.
01:10:20I'm learning.
01:10:22I am too.
01:10:24I'm really sorry Kate.
01:10:29Come on in then.
01:10:32Did you spend the night at Miles' house last night?
01:10:37Are you really asking that?
01:10:39I'm just making small talk Kate, I promise.
01:10:41No judgment.
01:10:43We were camping.
01:10:45Camping?
01:10:46It was for book research.
01:10:48And it was really fun.
01:10:50Writing something different.
01:10:52Trying to.
01:10:54Inspiration must be flowing.
01:10:55It has its moments.
01:10:56And Miles is the guy that brings this out in you.
01:10:59He's certainly not hurting things.
01:11:02So different for me.
01:11:04Dean, look.
01:11:05No, no.
01:11:06No no no no no no no no no.
01:11:07Is it too late?
01:11:08So different for me.
01:11:12Dean, look.
01:11:13.
01:11:14. .
01:11:15. .
01:11:16. . .
01:11:17. . .
01:11:18. . . .
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