Step into the world of mistaken ambition and laugh-out-loud antics in Speak Easily (1932), a classic pre-Code comedy starring the legendary Buster Keaton alongside Jimmy Durante. This delightful gem blends slapstick, romance, and backstage chaos in true Keaton style.
📽️ Plot Summary:
Timid professor Timoleon Zanders Post (Buster Keaton) inherits a fortune and decides to experience life beyond books. He falls in with a struggling theatrical troupe, investing in their show and joining the chaotic world of vaudeville. With the boisterous Jimmy Durante by his side, and romance budding with leading lady Pansy Peets (Ruth Selwyn), Keaton finds himself in one comical misadventure after another—culminating in a riotous stage finale.
🕰️ Year Released: 1932
🎭 Genre: Comedy, Romance
🎬 Directed by: Edward Sedgwick
🎞️ Starring: Buster Keaton, Jimmy Durante, Ruth Selwyn, Thelma Todd
🎯 Why Watch It?
✔️ Buster Keaton’s sharp physical comedy in the sound era
✔️ Jimmy Durante’s trademark humor & musical flair
✔️ A witty blend of slapstick and showbiz satire
✔️ Pre-Code Hollywood fun with romance and laughs
🔔 Don’t forget to LIKE 👍 | COMMENT 💬 | SUBSCRIBE 🔔 for more Buster Keaton classics & timeless comedies!
👇 Explore More Vintage Comedy Treasures Here:
📺 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYSxyPafGbnT7hNTlq29mZQJKn7wrNglY
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🎞️ #SpeakEasily1932 #BusterKeaton #JimmyDurante #ClassicComedy #PreCodeHollywood #PublicDomainMovies
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
😂🎬 From books to Broadway, Buster’s missteps make for comedy gold!
________________________________________
📽️ Plot Summary:
Timid professor Timoleon Zanders Post (Buster Keaton) inherits a fortune and decides to experience life beyond books. He falls in with a struggling theatrical troupe, investing in their show and joining the chaotic world of vaudeville. With the boisterous Jimmy Durante by his side, and romance budding with leading lady Pansy Peets (Ruth Selwyn), Keaton finds himself in one comical misadventure after another—culminating in a riotous stage finale.
🕰️ Year Released: 1932
🎭 Genre: Comedy, Romance
🎬 Directed by: Edward Sedgwick
🎞️ Starring: Buster Keaton, Jimmy Durante, Ruth Selwyn, Thelma Todd
🎯 Why Watch It?
✔️ Buster Keaton’s sharp physical comedy in the sound era
✔️ Jimmy Durante’s trademark humor & musical flair
✔️ A witty blend of slapstick and showbiz satire
✔️ Pre-Code Hollywood fun with romance and laughs
🔔 Don’t forget to LIKE 👍 | COMMENT 💬 | SUBSCRIBE 🔔 for more Buster Keaton classics & timeless comedies!
👇 Explore More Vintage Comedy Treasures Here:
📺 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYSxyPafGbnT7hNTlq29mZQJKn7wrNglY
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🎞️ #SpeakEasily1932 #BusterKeaton #JimmyDurante #ClassicComedy #PreCodeHollywood #PublicDomainMovies
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
😂🎬 From books to Broadway, Buster’s missteps make for comedy gold!
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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:30The End
00:01:00The End
00:01:08Say Jenkins, you know if Professor Post will be back soon?
00:01:11In any moment, pal, Mr. Tanner.
00:01:12How do you do, Professor Post?
00:01:28Oh, good evening.
00:01:30Uh, morning.
00:01:30I mean afternoon.
00:01:33Oh, yes, yes, yeah.
00:01:34I have read your papers on Aristotle.
00:01:37We will now have a complete survey.
00:01:39Well, uh, Professor Post, this is drag day and can't we...
00:01:43Uh, we'll continue tomorrow.
00:01:50Oh, thanks, Professor.
00:01:51Good afternoon, Professor.
00:02:05Oh, good afternoon, Jenkins.
00:02:07Everybody's happy and excited over the drag.
00:02:09Will you be going, sir?
00:02:11Oh, no, no.
00:02:12Well, I'd rather sit here and read Aristotle.
00:02:24You know I'm lying, don't you?
00:02:26Yes, sir.
00:02:29The reason I'm not going is I wasn't invited.
00:02:32If you'll pardon me, sir.
00:02:34Your loneliness is self-inflicted.
00:02:39Being constantly lonely creates a sort of, uh, an inferiority complex.
00:02:46Ah, poor old Professor Ferguson was like that.
00:02:50He lived here alone with his nerves.
00:02:55Couldn't sleep nights.
00:02:56I don't sleep very well myself.
00:03:00I have twitches.
00:03:02Yes, that's what Professor Ferguson told me in this very room.
00:03:07The night he shot himself.
00:03:11Shot himself?
00:03:12Yes.
00:03:13In that very chair.
00:03:26I know because I helped to pick him up and lay him on that couch where he died.
00:03:42Professor, if you'll only go out and find life, you'll enjoy living it.
00:03:48Oh, but, Jenkins, how often have I told you that that requires money?
00:03:51And I have saved, in 12 years, exactly $4,564.23.
00:04:04I'm saving that for a rainy day.
00:04:07Yes, sir.
00:04:07Poor Professor Ferguson said that.
00:04:10And it rained the day they buried him.
00:04:17I have thought of getting a broadening experience.
00:04:21But a person in my position can't very well afford to indulge in whims.
00:04:27I'd love to rub elbows with the outside world and become a, uh, uh, Napoleon.
00:04:36He was about my size, too.
00:04:39Yes, sir.
00:04:51Oh, I hope you'll forgive me, sir, but this letter came this morning.
00:05:03I was so occupied with the other gentleman that I neglected to leave it.
00:05:07It is well.
00:05:08Jenkins!
00:05:36Jenkins!
00:05:37Jenkins, Jenkins, Jenkins, Jenkins.
00:05:41What happened, sir?
00:05:43I'm happy.
00:05:44Look, come here, come here.
00:05:46Look, look, see if that says I fell heir to $7,500.
00:05:52Oh, you're mistaken, sir.
00:05:53It says you've inherited $750,000.
00:05:59$750,000?
00:06:02Get my trunk.
00:06:04Get my trunk.
00:06:05Get my trunk.
00:06:06Well, what are you going to do, sir?
00:06:07Wait a minute.
00:06:08Get my trunk.
00:06:09What did I do with that letter?
00:06:10Where's that letter?
00:06:11What did I do it?
00:06:12Where's that letter?
00:06:13It's in your hand, sir.
00:06:14Never mind.
00:06:15I'll look for it myself.
00:06:16Get my trunk out.
00:06:17Here, here, here.
00:06:18What are you going to do, sir?
00:06:19I'm going someplace.
00:06:20I don't know where yet, but I'll find it.
00:06:23$750,000.
00:06:24I'll meet people.
00:06:25I'll see things.
00:06:27I'll buy companionship.
00:06:30I want to draw all my money out of the bank.
00:06:33I am.
00:06:34You don't want to take a lamp from yourself.
00:06:36No, you can get debated, sir.
00:06:38Come on.
00:06:39When you get this stuff aboard, the train don't stay here all day.
00:06:44I've got everything I want to do.
00:06:46Hey, why don't you stop squawking, Reno?
00:06:49You're no God, didn't you?
00:06:50Oh, yeah?
00:06:51No wonder they showed us only $42 last night.
00:06:54What the troop needs is a comedian.
00:06:56Say, where do you get that stuff?
00:06:58Didn't you hear them clapping when I came out?
00:07:00They wasn't clapping.
00:07:01They was only killing mosquitoes.
00:07:03Well, how do you like them onions?
00:07:05Why, my gags schooled them.
00:07:06You can't say they didn't.
00:07:07You haven't got a gag, did it get a giggle?
00:07:09Yeah?
00:07:10Well, how about this one?
00:07:11A guy goes into a second-hand store, and he says to the man, he said, is this a second-hand store?
00:07:16And the man says, yes.
00:07:17Then the guy says, well, give me a second hand for my watch.
00:07:21If I was laughing, I'd stop.
00:07:27Well, I'm a mackerel without any fins.
00:07:29Yeah.
00:07:39I'll tell her that little guy with the face.
00:07:41Come on.
00:07:44Good morning, stranger.
00:07:47Good morning.
00:07:48Why must we be strangers?
00:07:50My name?
00:07:51I want to tell you new one.
00:07:52A guy goes into a second-hand store, and he says to the man, is this a second-hand store?
00:07:57And the man says, yes.
00:07:58Then the guy says, well, give me a second hand for my watch.
00:08:06Was he furnished with the second hand?
00:08:10It's too subtle.
00:08:11It went over his head like a trapeze act.
00:08:13Say, here's one you can't miss.
00:08:15In Scotland, the movie theaters of Bill and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a double feature.
00:08:23You know, Dr. Jekyll had double features.
00:08:27Why, the guy ain't got no education.
00:08:29Come on.
00:08:30Don't you want to try another one?
00:08:32Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:08:45Did I hurt you?
00:08:46No, no, no.
00:08:47I hope it's not damaged.
00:08:48Oh, it's all right.
00:08:49I am Professor Timoleon Xander's Post, late of the faculty of Potts College.
00:09:01Gee, this is the first time I ever met a professor.
00:09:03You're an actress, aren't you?
00:09:04Well, I'm a dancer.
00:09:05What a coincidence.
00:09:06You know, I have made an exhaustive study of Greek dancing.
00:09:08How interesting.
00:09:09Pansy, come on, you're going to miss the train, Pansy.
00:09:10Oh, I'll assist you.
00:09:11We need no assistance.
00:09:12Come on, Pansy.
00:09:13Look at me.
00:09:14Now, poof, please tell me, please.
00:09:15Why the poof?
00:09:16Come on, get aboard here.
00:09:17I'll make him translate that.
00:09:18Now, stop, please.
00:09:19Let me go.
00:09:20Let me go.
00:09:21Let me go.
00:09:22Let me go.
00:09:23Let me go.
00:09:24Let me go.
00:09:25Let me go.
00:09:26Let me go.
00:09:27Come on.
00:09:28Get aboard here.
00:09:29I'll make him translate that.
00:09:30Let me go.
00:09:31Let me go.
00:09:32Let me go.
00:09:33Let me go.
00:09:35Let me go.
00:09:36I'm sorry.
00:09:37All right, all right.
00:09:40Look at Papa.
00:09:42Look at Papa.
00:09:43Look at Mama.
00:09:44Hurry up and put that up there.
00:09:45Shut up.
00:09:46Here.
00:09:53Never again.
00:09:54I'm never.
00:09:55What's the matter, Pansy?
00:09:56What's the matter?
00:09:57You already have a shuttle?
00:09:58Let me try to help you.
00:10:00Please.
00:10:01Yes.
00:10:02There you go.
00:10:03You got it.
00:10:04Jimmy.
00:10:05I'm going out for that.
00:10:06Please, are you melting?
00:10:08That's it.
00:10:09Now we're set.
00:10:10She dance away.
00:10:11Oh, you know.
00:10:12Wave it out, sir.
00:10:13I don't want to stand it under.
00:10:14No.
00:10:15Now you're all right.
00:10:18Now you're all right.
00:10:20Sandy, oh.
00:10:21I said I was on me.
00:10:22I'm going to take care of you.
00:10:24You take care of him for once.
00:10:26No.
00:10:27Hey.
00:10:28Durban.
00:10:30Pansy.
00:10:37Say, Reno, how about a little rummy?
00:10:39Okay.
00:10:40Hey, Tony, you want to play a little rummy?
00:10:42No, Jimmy.
00:10:43I got a hold of the baby.
00:10:44I got a hold of the baby.
00:10:46Fine.
00:10:47I got to take care of the baby.
00:10:50Well, La Rosa, wash the face in the front.
00:10:53I don't mind holding the baby if the father cares to participate.
00:10:56Fine, Professor.
00:10:58Yes, sir.
00:10:59You hold them like this.
00:11:02You give them this, sir, please.
00:11:04What a break, huh?
00:11:05Well, thank you.
00:11:06Jimmy.
00:11:07Hey, Jimmy.
00:11:08Play nice, please.
00:11:09Jimmy.
00:11:10Yeah.
00:11:11Play nice.
00:11:12Oh, huh?
00:11:13Oh, Professor.
00:11:14Mario takes to you.
00:11:15You must have babies of your own.
00:11:16No, I have never been a father.
00:11:17But, of course, I understand the fundamental principles of the thing.
00:11:30Oh, Jimmy.
00:11:31Can't you try and be a little refined?
00:11:32That's right.
00:11:33You're fundamentally correct.
00:11:34Jimmy.
00:11:35Jimmy.
00:11:36Jimmy.
00:11:37Jimmy.
00:11:38Jimmy.
00:11:39Oh, Jimmy.
00:11:40Can't you try and be a little refined?
00:11:42That's right.
00:11:43You're fundamentally correct.
00:11:44Jimmy.
00:11:45Jimmy.
00:11:46Jimmy.
00:11:47Stop the train.
00:11:48Stop the train immediately.
00:11:49There's been a terrible oversight.
00:12:02There must be an accident.
00:12:07You're going on!
00:12:08Get down!
00:12:09Get down!
00:12:10What is it, pal?
00:12:11Where's the accident?
00:12:12Here it is.
00:12:13They forgot to put it on the train.
00:12:14What?
00:12:15You mean to say you held up this train on the counter of that trunk?
00:12:30Naturally.
00:12:31Well get back on board.
00:12:32We're pulling out right now.
00:12:33Wait a minute!
00:12:34You can't do that!
00:12:35It ain't legal.
00:12:36That little guy's got a right to have his trunk, and why didn't you put it on?
00:12:39I never even seen the trunk.
00:12:41Oh, don't equivocate.
00:12:42What?
00:12:44What did he say?
00:12:45Don't equivocate.
00:12:46Listen, I don't take that kind of language from you or any other little runt.
00:12:51That calls for drastic action.
00:12:53Uh, James, hold the baby.
00:12:56I'll give you one minute to apologize.
00:12:58What?
00:12:59Oh, Professor, keep your shirt on.
00:13:01Oh, I had no intentions of removing it.
00:13:03Please, you haven't got a chance against that big palooka.
00:13:05What's the matter, McCaffrey?
00:13:06What's holding the train?
00:13:07Why, that fellow that trains his trunk.
00:13:08Trunk?
00:13:09Nothing.
00:13:10You're 30 minutes late now.
00:13:11Pull out.
00:13:12You can't do that.
00:13:13It's a breach of contract.
00:13:14There's no check on his trunk.
00:13:15Well, what about it?
00:13:16This guy pays out his good dough, and is it his fault if a cluck like you forgets to put a check in his trunk?
00:13:21Say, listen.
00:13:22I told you I never even seen the trunk, and anybody says I did is a liar.
00:13:26Now, what do you make of that?
00:13:28Them's five-fingered words.
00:13:30Hold the baby.
00:13:31Listen.
00:13:32The professor is my friend.
00:13:34You put the trunk on, or I'll take the trunk and squeeze it very much like this.
00:13:39Am I burned enough?
00:13:40Now, come on!
00:13:41Am I burned enough?
00:13:42Just a minute.
00:13:44Check the trunk.
00:13:45Where's your check, professor?
00:13:47Check?
00:13:48What check?
00:13:49Your trunk check.
00:13:50I have no...
00:13:51You mean to say...
00:13:52You have to check it.
00:13:53Show him your ticket.
00:13:54My ticket?
00:13:55Oh, in my excitement, I forgot to purchase one.
00:14:00All right, McCaffrey.
00:14:01Whoa!
00:14:02Whoa!
00:14:03Whoa!
00:14:04Whoa!
00:14:05Wait a minute!
00:14:06You can't do that!
00:14:07It's unconstitutional!
00:14:08Unconstitutional or not!
00:14:09There she goes!
00:14:10Come on, professor!
00:14:11Come on, will ya?
00:14:12Come on, will ya?
00:14:13Oh, come on, will ya?
00:14:14Oh, come on, will ya?
00:14:15Oh, come on, will ya?
00:14:16I got it!
00:14:17Come on, get out of there!
00:14:18We're going!
00:14:19It's dead!
00:14:20Get out of there!
00:14:21It's dead!
00:14:22Got him!
00:14:23Got him!
00:14:24Where's the baby?
00:14:25The baby?
00:14:26Yes, the baby!
00:14:27The baby...
00:14:28Where's the baby?
00:14:29Where's the baby?
00:14:30Come on, Jimmy!
00:14:31You forgot the baby!
00:14:32Ah!
00:14:33Ah!
00:14:34Ah!
00:14:35Ah!
00:14:36Ah!
00:14:37Eh!
00:14:38Ah!
00:14:39Eh!
00:14:40Ah!
00:14:42Ah!
00:14:43Ah!
00:14:44Ah!
00:14:45Ah!
00:14:46Oh, boy!
00:14:47Ah!
00:14:48Ah!
00:14:49Ah!
00:14:50Who gave it that?
00:14:51Who gave it that?
00:14:52You?
00:14:53You!
00:14:54You!
00:14:55I did.
00:14:56Save, do you think we're going back after that trunk?
00:14:58You're crazy.
00:15:00It ain't the trunk, Chief.
00:15:01It's the baby!
00:15:02Baby?
00:15:03Whose baby?
00:15:04Yours?
00:15:05Show him your check.
00:15:07The check?
00:15:09I got no check.
00:15:11No check? No, no check!
00:15:13My baby, get the...
00:15:23Oh, God!
00:15:25Help you!
00:15:27Come on, come on, get on this train.
00:15:29Would you want to be here all day?
00:15:31Hurry up, get on the train.
00:15:33You think I want to be here all day?
00:15:35Come on!
00:15:47Come on!
00:15:59Good morning, Jenkins. Good morning, Dr. Bolton.
00:16:01What can I do for you?
00:16:03Dr. Bolton,
00:16:05you know about Professor Post's inheritance?
00:16:08Yes, indeed.
00:16:09I've been made very happy by it.
00:16:11And I've been made most unhappy by it, sir.
00:16:15Jenkins, what do you mean?
00:16:17Dr. Bolton,
00:16:19I've done an awful thing.
00:16:21Professor Post didn't inherit $750,000.
00:16:23He didn't inherit anything.
00:16:25I wrote him that letter.
00:16:27Jenkins!
00:16:29How could you do such a thing?
00:16:31Well, I thought I'd help him, sir.
00:16:33He's been a very lonely man.
00:16:35No friends, no companionship.
00:16:37And I wanted to do it for his own good, sir.
00:16:39I am tremendously fond of him.
00:16:41But he's learned everything except how to live.
00:16:43Oh, I've done a terrible thing, sir.
00:16:45I wonder if you have done such a terrible thing.
00:16:47I wouldn't worry, Jenkins.
00:16:49He's drawn out his life savings, sir.
00:16:51And I hadn't figured on that.
00:16:52Forget it, Jenkins.
00:16:53Nothing very serious can happen.
00:16:55The so conservative a fellow as Professor Post.
00:17:21Well, here's my bus.
00:17:25Goodbye, James.
00:17:26Goodbye, Professor.
00:17:27Hope we meet again.
00:17:28Lots of luck.
00:17:29Get on it, Pansy.
00:17:30Oh, Professor.
00:17:31I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
00:17:33Goodbye, Miss Pansy.
00:17:34We may meet at some future time, per chance.
00:17:36Not per chance, past chance.
00:17:38That's the worst of trooping.
00:17:39Pansy!
00:17:40If I should ever meet up with a friend,
00:17:42and he should want to write me a letter,
00:17:44it would reach me care of the billboard.
00:17:46Which billboard?
00:17:48You know, trooper's paper, Cincinnati.
00:17:50I'll make a note of that.
00:17:53You're going to miss this spot.
00:17:55Well, goodbye, Professor.
00:17:58Don't do anything I would.
00:18:13What's her name?
00:18:14Whose name?
00:18:15The young lady.
00:18:16Pansy.
00:18:17Pansy what?
00:18:18Pansy peats.
00:18:20Kings?
00:18:24Whoah!
00:18:25Whoah!
00:18:36Pansy peats.
00:18:37Whoah!
00:18:38Whoah!
00:18:39Whoah!
00:18:40Oh, my God.
00:19:10When is the next train for Chicago?
00:19:14There's a train tonight, about 9 o'clock.
00:19:17Thanks.
00:19:17All the trouble is, it don't stop here.
00:19:23Then I will have to go to a hotel.
00:19:26Is there a vehicle around?
00:19:27No.
00:19:28No, there's a bus, though.
00:19:31There's a hotel bus makes the depot.
00:19:34All the trouble is, it don't run no more today.
00:19:40How far is it to the village?
00:19:44Oh, about two and a half miles as a crow flies.
00:19:50Only trouble is, I'm no crow.
00:19:53No, I'm no crow.
00:20:11Would you allow me to ride with you?
00:20:13You're darn kilting!
00:20:15Hop right in!
00:20:15Can you direct me to the opera house?
00:20:42You're standing right in front of me!
00:21:14Well, how are you, Professor?
00:21:37What a love of Mike.
00:21:38How did you get here?
00:21:40Oh, I was vibrated here in a most unusual vehicle.
00:21:43I'm glad to see you at the show.
00:21:46Oh, I was vibrated here in a most unusual vehicle.
00:21:48Oh, I was vibrated here in a most unusual vehicle.
00:21:51Oh, I was vibrated here in a most unusual vehicle.
00:21:53Oh, I was vibrated here in a most unusual vehicle.
00:21:56Oh, I was vibrated here in a is one of him.
00:22:01Oh, I was vibrated here now.
00:22:07Oh, I was vibrated here in a most unusual vehicle.
00:22:12What a day, what a day, for old insomnia, all ladies there, and here comes the fairest of them all.
00:22:42Ah, Antobio, you wait.
00:22:47What about Prince D'Amelio?
00:22:49My heart is life.
00:22:52Identify.
00:23:02What do you think of that?
00:23:12Well done, Antobio.
00:23:25You've said it, Prince.
00:23:26You've said it.
00:23:28And now, to my castle and love.
00:23:31I will love you always.
00:23:34To my castle and love.
00:23:44Let's do it.
00:23:44Come on.
00:23:45Let's do it.
00:23:47Set up and cheer no more.
00:23:48This good times are here now.
00:23:51Oh, too, the vampire times our best to appear happy and proud.
00:23:57The money of the father, a fair, a king, and a man of the kids.
00:24:04The old boys are here, but the hands are here right now.
00:24:27What a hit! It's stupendous! Come on back, Professor, and give the folks a kick.
00:24:44A kick? Why? I thought they performed beautifully.
00:24:50You slay me with your crack! Come on back, Professor! You murder me!
00:24:57Come on, Professor!
00:25:06Get that thing!
00:25:13Oh, Miss Pansy, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your dancing.
00:25:18Thank you, Professor.
00:25:20Yours was purely the porphyry of motion.
00:25:23Well, it's never been called that before.
00:25:26In fact, the entire entertainment was not only enjoyable, but instructive.
00:25:32I predict big things for it.
00:25:34Girls! Come on!
00:25:35Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
00:25:37Lay off there, Jake.
00:25:39Nothing to leave of this opera house.
00:25:41Who say so?
00:25:42Sheriff Lincoln County.
00:25:44This here stuff's all attached.
00:25:46Bill for $250.
00:25:52Hotel Hastings.
00:25:53You gonna satisfy this attachment?
00:25:55Well, you see, Chief, what I want to do is...
00:25:59Yeah, that's enough. Come on, Tom.
00:26:01All right. Come on.
00:26:02Yeah, flip it.
00:26:03Come on, now get off that front now. That's the law.
00:26:05What's the matter, Miss Pansy?
00:26:07Oh, it's nothing, Professor. Really.
00:26:13But you're crying.
00:26:14Is it because of this uncouth fellow?
00:26:17Well, they're gonna take our trunks away from us and everything.
00:26:20Yeah, well, I'm gonna put a seal on them trunks.
00:26:23I'm gonna put a seal on them trunks.
00:26:24I'm gonna put a seal on that door.
00:26:26Now, get off that trunks, all of you.
00:26:27Uh, one moment, please. One moment.
00:26:29Your manner is very offensive.
00:26:31And I'm free to say I do not like you.
00:26:40Tom, where do them see you?
00:26:41Right here, Sheriff.
00:26:42Don't start anything, Professor.
00:26:44Back down.
00:26:45You know you're not gonna get the first base out of him with a John Law.
00:26:48I repeat, I do not like him.
00:26:50James, pay this man and send him away.
00:26:53Yeah? With what?
00:26:55Us and the house just put 28 bucks tonight.
00:26:59I will lend you the money.
00:27:01You wouldn't clown with me, would you?
00:27:03That's beside the point. I wish to pay this man.
00:27:09One.
00:27:11Two.
00:27:16A 50.
00:27:17Correct. Thank you, Doc.
00:27:20Goodbye, folks.
00:27:21Come on, Tom.
00:27:22Goodbye, Gail.
00:27:23Gee, Professor.
00:27:24That was a decent thing for you to do.
00:27:27Well, that's perfectly all right, James.
00:27:29Yeah, but what I wanna know is how we gonna get to the next town.
00:27:33I guess we'll walk.
00:27:38Well, James.
00:27:39If you're in need of further assistance...
00:27:42Well...
00:27:43Don't you do it, Professor.
00:27:44You keep your money in your pocket.
00:27:45Say, what's the idea?
00:27:46I don't care.
00:27:47I think it's a shame to trim a stranger like that.
00:27:49He ain't no stranger.
00:27:50He's a pal.
00:27:51Well, he helped you out of one hole, and now you're willing to take him for more.
00:27:54I ain't trying to take him.
00:27:56No? Well, how'll he ever get his money back?
00:27:58I got it.
00:27:59Professor, to show you that I'm on the level, I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do.
00:28:02I'm gonna let you take over the show and manage it.
00:28:05But I know nothing whatsoever about the show business.
00:28:09Well, who does?
00:28:10That's what makes it a great game.
00:28:12It's packed full of wallops.
00:28:15It would be a broadening experience.
00:28:17You said it.
00:28:18Running a show is one of the most broadening experiences there is.
00:28:22But unfortunately, I am going to New York.
00:28:25My trunk is on the way.
00:28:30I have a solution.
00:28:31I'll go to New York.
00:28:34And take the show with me.
00:28:36You mean to say you're gonna put this in the Broadway theater?
00:28:39Why not?
00:28:40It's an excellent show, and I like it.
00:28:42Can you swing it?
00:28:44I mean, you got the mizuma?
00:28:46The what?
00:28:47The sugar.
00:28:48I mean the kale.
00:28:49You know what kale is, don't you?
00:28:51Yes.
00:28:52Kale is a vegetable, resembling a cabbage.
00:28:54Listen.
00:28:55What I want to say is, have you got the kush?
00:28:58The kopecks?
00:28:59The kopecks?
00:29:00The O'Day?
00:29:01The cartwheels?
00:29:02Can someone tell me what he's trying to say?
00:29:05He's trying to ask you if you've got enough money.
00:29:09Well, I don't know.
00:29:10I only have seven hundred and fifty thousand.
00:29:13Seven hundred and fifty grand?
00:29:15Grand what?
00:29:17Don't let's start it again.
00:29:19We will embark on the first train in the morning.
00:29:22Go on, look at me.
00:29:23Look at me.
00:29:24Hey, you, don't pick that drop up in the middle.
00:29:27That's big time stuff you're handling.
00:29:29Next stand's New York.
00:29:30New York.
00:29:31What a town.
00:29:33Broadway.
00:29:34What a street.
00:29:35Boy, I've been waiting for years to get a crack at them Broadway bozos.
00:29:39And now I'm set.
00:29:40I know Don well I can do without Broadway.
00:29:48What can Broadway do without me?
00:29:51No, no.
00:29:52Can Broadway do without me?
00:29:53I'm sorry, but, uh, out-
00:30:08I was so joy proud that...
00:30:12Good morning, everybody.
00:30:14Wow, thank you.
00:30:16You guys much.
00:30:20Good morning, everybody.
00:30:22Oh, James, we've been waiting for you.
00:30:24Mr. Rayburn has seen our entertainment.
00:30:26I have seen your show, but not your entertainment.
00:30:31Well, what did he mean?
00:30:33Oh, he's kidding.
00:30:34Oh, I'm not kidding, Professor.
00:30:35Broadway stands for a lot of baloney,
00:30:37but it will never digest a piece of tripe like this.
00:30:41I don't understand.
00:30:42Oh, I suppose not, and I'll try to make myself perfectly clear.
00:30:46After 30 years of stage directing,
00:30:48this is the worst show I have ever seen.
00:30:52I went over all right, didn't I?
00:30:53Oh, you'll be all right after I've toned you down and polished you up.
00:30:58Well, I think James is exceedingly funny.
00:31:01Say, I killed him at Clay Center.
00:31:04Yeah, well, in New York, it'll probably be the reverse.
00:31:08Are you incinerating?
00:31:09Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:31:11I'm willing to take over this show,
00:31:13but it's got to be built up from nothing.
00:31:16So we'll start with him.
00:31:18We've got to build and build and build
00:31:22till we put some sense into the thing.
00:31:24What about comedy?
00:31:28Well, we could take something from the Greek.
00:31:30What Greek?
00:31:32Well, Aristophanes is very humorous.
00:31:35I never caught his act,
00:31:36but there's a million Greeks in New York.
00:31:38I'll take something from them.
00:31:40What are you talking about?
00:31:41The professor wants to take something from the Greek.
00:31:44I think it's a great idea.
00:31:45We've had Chinese,
00:31:47Hawaiians,
00:31:48Cheva Shavlachans.
00:31:49Why not the Greeks?
00:31:51Well, all right, all right.
00:31:53Now, another thing about,
00:31:54Miss Pete's, I'm afraid Broadway is not quite ready for you.
00:32:00Meaning, of course, that
00:32:01I'm not quite ready for Broadway.
00:32:04Oh, I'm afraid you won't do.
00:32:06Won't do what?
00:32:07She won't do for this show.
00:32:09Her style of dancing went out with his jokes.
00:32:13Miss Pete's dance is unusually well.
00:32:16Well, I'm sorry,
00:32:17but the audiences won't think so.
00:32:19Oh, he's right, professor.
00:32:21It's okay.
00:32:22I'll bow out.
00:32:23That's the way to talk.
00:32:25That's not the way to talk.
00:32:26Miss Pansy,
00:32:27I insist that you remain with us.
00:32:29In fact,
00:32:30it was your artistry
00:32:31that decided me
00:32:32in giving financial support
00:32:33to this company.
00:32:35You shall dance as planned.
00:32:37Oh,
00:32:38it's one of those things.
00:32:40Well,
00:32:41why didn't you tell me
00:32:42in the first place?
00:32:44It's all right, professor.
00:32:46It's all okay.
00:32:47I got you now.
00:32:48I got you now.
00:32:50It's all right with me.
00:32:56Did he mean that?
00:32:58Yeah.
00:32:58It's an old Greek custom.
00:33:01Mr. Rayburn.
00:33:05Jimmy,
00:33:06just a minute.
00:33:12Say, Jimmy,
00:33:13don't you think
00:33:14we ought to give this thing up?
00:33:15Give what up?
00:33:16This show.
00:33:17You know we're not good enough
00:33:18for Broadway.
00:33:18Don't be funny.
00:33:20Everybody has to start,
00:33:21and that's what we're doing.
00:33:22Yes,
00:33:22but it isn't fair
00:33:23to make the experiment
00:33:24with the professor's money.
00:33:25He's taking the chance,
00:33:26not us.
00:33:27Say,
00:33:27he's getting a kick
00:33:28out of this.
00:33:28He's having fun.
00:33:30Suppose he did lose 60 grand.
00:33:32He's got 750.
00:33:33Miss Pats,
00:33:34Mr. Rayburn
00:33:35wishes you to report
00:33:36at the rehearsal hall.
00:33:38I have enlightened him,
00:33:40and he now has
00:33:41a keener appreciation
00:33:42of your dancing.
00:33:43Oh,
00:33:44Professor,
00:33:44you're...
00:33:49Gee,
00:33:49you're sweet.
00:33:58What did she mean?
00:34:00There's something
00:34:00about you,
00:34:01Professor.
00:34:02There's something
00:34:02about you.
00:34:08Where's the guy
00:34:09that's putting on
00:34:10this brawl?
00:34:12Who wants to know?
00:34:14Eleanor Aspair,
00:34:15the personality girl.
00:34:22Miss Eleanor Aspair,
00:34:24and personality.
00:34:25Uh, send them both in.
00:34:32Get a load of that.
00:34:33Big time sex appeal.
00:34:36Is there any truth
00:34:37that they say outside?
00:34:38That there's a million
00:34:38dollars behind the show?
00:34:40There is not.
00:34:42I thought so.
00:34:43The regular hooey.
00:34:44There's only
00:34:45750,000.
00:34:47Oh, Professor.
00:34:54I hope you'll
00:34:55excuse me
00:34:56for asking questions.
00:34:58But after all,
00:34:58a young girl
00:34:59has got to know
00:34:59who she's doing
00:35:00business with.
00:35:01Oh, that's all right.
00:35:03That's all right.
00:35:04Say, what Broadway
00:35:05shoe were you with
00:35:05last season?
00:35:06Uh, the
00:35:07Sunrise Supper Club.
00:35:08Say, I put that
00:35:09saloon on its feet.
00:35:11Made it New York's
00:35:12hottest night spot.
00:35:13And when I first
00:35:14went there,
00:35:14it was a speakeasy.
00:35:17Speakeasy?
00:35:18Yeah, speakeasy.
00:35:20Speakeasy.
00:35:22You have unconsciously
00:35:23committed a salism.
00:35:26You should purify the verb
00:35:27and say,
00:35:29speak easily.
00:35:31Speak easily?
00:35:33Speak easily.
00:35:34It's here.
00:35:35It's here.
00:35:36It's here.
00:35:37Did something arrive?
00:35:39I'll say it has.
00:35:40The title for our show,
00:35:42Speak Easily.
00:35:43Oh, pretty good.
00:35:45What do you mean,
00:35:46pretty good?
00:35:47It's perfect.
00:35:48Speak easily.
00:35:49Oh, but, Professor,
00:35:50to get back to me,
00:35:52I've got everything.
00:35:55Everything?
00:35:55And, you know,
00:35:56I got medals for acting
00:35:57when I went to
00:35:58finishing school.
00:36:00Oh, what finishing
00:36:01school did you attend?
00:36:02Um, Notre Dame.
00:36:05Notre Dame?
00:36:07Notre Dame is not
00:36:08co-educational.
00:36:09Oh, well, I was very young.
00:36:14And, you know,
00:36:15I can not only troop,
00:36:16but I can wear them.
00:36:18Wear them?
00:36:19Yeah.
00:36:19What I mean is tight.
00:36:21You know,
00:36:21I got legs.
00:36:26I assumed as much.
00:36:28Oh, assume nothing.
00:36:30Say, get a knife full of this.
00:36:32Sign her up, Professor.
00:36:34Get away from you, Professor.
00:36:36He's great, I'm telling you.
00:36:38If you see this guy,
00:36:39he's...
00:36:39Well?
00:36:46Come on, come on down.
00:36:48Come on down, fast.
00:36:50Let's get down.
00:36:51There.
00:36:52Throw your leg out.
00:36:53Have you all got rheumatism?
00:36:55Oh, you're right.
00:36:57You're right, Jack.
00:36:58What's the matter with you?
00:36:58Keep fighting.
00:36:59Keep fighting.
00:37:00Go back up.
00:37:01Go back up.
00:37:02Keep fighting.
00:37:05What a day.
00:37:06What a day.
00:37:07For old Insomnia.
00:37:09Oh, never mind that.
00:37:10Never mind.
00:37:11What about the music
00:37:12for the rowing number?
00:37:13The rowing number?
00:37:14I wrote that this morning.
00:37:17Get a load of this melody.
00:37:21Yeah, yeah, da-da-da-da-da.
00:37:24Yeah, yeah, da-da-da-dum.
00:37:27Yeah, da-da-da-da-da-da-dum.
00:37:28You wrote that this morning?
00:37:34Yeah, it's something they remember.
00:37:37Yeah, I remember it already.
00:37:40You know, they'll come out of the Theater Whistler in that tune.
00:37:44They'll go into the Theater Whistler.
00:37:47It is slightly reminiscent of singing in the rain.
00:37:50No, this is different.
00:37:54Well, Professor, how is that?
00:37:55The song is very good, but the dance is anachronistic.
00:37:59A what?
00:38:00The postures and movements are not early Greek.
00:38:03No.
00:38:04I will show you the dance as performed in Athens.
00:38:08Young ladies.
00:38:13Now follow me.
00:38:14It's here.
00:38:29It's here.
00:38:31It's here.
00:38:32Has something arrived?
00:38:33Has something arrived?
00:38:35I'll say it has.
00:38:36A tune.
00:38:37A melody.
00:38:38Professor, Professor, you're marvelous.
00:38:41You inspire me.
00:38:42This tune came from the depths of my soul.
00:38:44Get a load of this.
00:38:45We can't consider it.
00:38:53Why?
00:38:54That's old Susanna.
00:38:56It won't be after I'm finished with it.
00:38:59Get in there.
00:39:00But that's plagiarism.
00:39:02No.
00:39:02That's Speak Easley.
00:39:03The theme song for our show.
00:39:07Speak.
00:39:08Just a minute, Jamie.
00:39:08Just a minute.
00:39:09I think I know what the professor wants.
00:39:11Does it go something like this?
00:39:16That's something like it.
00:39:17Only there should be more sinuosity of the hips.
00:39:20Such as a...
00:39:21Oh, you mean like this?
00:39:33Now, that is authentic.
00:39:35Uh-huh.
00:39:35But it would be much more effective if you were in the nude.
00:39:40Professor, Professor.
00:39:42That's, uh, no nudes.
00:39:44But James, it was done so in Athens.
00:39:47Yeah, they might get away with that in Athens.
00:39:49That's a college town.
00:39:50Oh, Professor, I think I can do the dance for you.
00:39:53And I've got just the costume.
00:39:55A little bit here, you know, and the beads there.
00:39:57In my dressing room.
00:39:58Now, come along and I'll show it to you.
00:39:59It's the darliest thing you've ever thought.
00:40:01There's not very much to it, you know.
00:40:03It's just right across here.
00:40:04There's a few beads right there.
00:40:07Oh, Professor, right this way.
00:40:10Oh, yes, yes, yes, it's a lot.
00:40:13You know, I've been wanting to talk to you for a long, long time.
00:40:16We should have some place where we can get sort of a get-together and talk things over.
00:40:25Why, we already have such a place.
00:40:27My office.
00:40:31Oh, Jimmy, don't be still.
00:40:33And I was thinking that I would give you the key to my apartment.
00:40:40So that when you felt like it, you could just run up and we could have a cup of tea.
00:40:46Very well.
00:40:47If I should ever feel the need of a cup of tea.
00:40:49Of course, I won't be able to pay for the rent right off the start.
00:40:58That is, until the show opens.
00:41:00But if I were to send you the bill, you'd take care of it, wouldn't you, Timmy?
00:41:06That's customary?
00:41:08All right, everybody, out for the trio.
00:41:10Oh, Jimmy.
00:41:17Oh.
00:41:19Oh.
00:41:22Oh.
00:41:26Oh.
00:41:27Oh.
00:41:37Oh.
00:41:37Oh.
00:41:38Oh.
00:41:38Oh.
00:41:39Oh.
00:41:39Oh.
00:41:40professor oh good afternoon what have you been doing without a spare woman we had a business
00:41:55conference pertaining to the rental of her apartment did she ask you to pay her rent yes
00:42:01that's something i neglected to do i didn't know it was customary professor you come inside a
00:42:08minute i want to talk to you she kissed you didn't she oh yes you know she's a very appreciative girl
00:42:24well did you kiss her back kiss her back oh you know what i mean did you return her kiss
00:42:31no is that customary oh never mind what else did she do why she generously gave me the key to her
00:42:41apartment oh she did you know one would hardly expect such hospitality in a big city oh professor
00:42:50don't you understand what she means oh yes yes she told me that any time that i want to come to her
00:42:58apartment i could have a cup of tea oh well i'll tell you what you do timsey any time you feel the
00:43:04need of a cup of tea you come to my apartment
00:43:07you know i prefer cocoa
00:43:12come in timmy make yourself right at home oh marie marie marie marie oh dear old servant you just
00:43:31can't keep them you don't mind if i do this myself do you no oh come timmy come come i'll take your
00:43:48hat and your umbrella oh it's a coat
00:43:52there now sit down
00:43:59there now while we're waiting for my brother we'll have a talk
00:44:06a real intelligent talk because i've got a mind
00:44:11yes oh yes i can hold the interest of a man like you
00:44:16tell me timmy have you ever seriously thought of marriage
00:44:23yes that's why i'm single
00:44:27oh well supposing we have a nice little drink eh
00:44:33oh thank you i never drink
00:44:35oh i know but a little tom collins won't hurt you
00:44:39uh what is the nature of this uh thomas collins
00:44:44oh um it's sort of like a lemonade only it's made from limes and a dash of that and dash of that
00:44:51sort of like a fleet compo you know
00:44:53very nice
00:44:56sort of radiates a glow
00:45:03oh timmy and that's what you need a glow
00:45:08now timmy i'll slip into something more comfortable
00:45:22and i'll be right back oh no no no you stay right here
00:45:28i won't be a moment
00:45:33good noon
00:45:41good noon
00:45:47good noon
00:45:49good noon
00:45:53good noon
00:46:32Well, I'm back again, Timmy.
00:46:44You want to take a bath?
00:46:46You can crack wise, can't you?
00:46:49I can pound it in a little drink for you.
00:47:06Well, here's to you and me, Professor.
00:47:12Oh, honey, I'm going to pass down any minute, Timmy.
00:47:38Put your arms around me, honey, and give a great big hug, huh?
00:47:44I don't understand you.
00:47:46Oh, no.
00:47:48Oh, it goes up to my fist.
00:47:50Now, what?
00:47:53Oh, no, you do want those under you, doesn't it?
00:47:55You must never catch on your little glasses, honey, now.
00:47:59Take a big, deep breath.
00:48:00Oh, honey.
00:48:09There.
00:48:11Everything's all right now, isn't it?
00:48:13I don't understand you.
00:48:14Oh, Timmy, you'll pay the rent, won't you, honey, huh?
00:48:19Rent?
00:48:19And then, yes, for heaven, and then when you and I get around to it, why, we'll be married.
00:48:25Oh, certainly not.
00:48:27Oh, Timmy, oh.
00:48:37Now, wait, now, wait.
00:48:38What?
00:48:39Miss, Miss Spears, you, you, you've got to go home.
00:48:44Oh, my goodness, something.
00:48:46Oh.
00:48:49Timmy.
00:48:51Oh, Timmy, I've lost my Timmy, please, Timmy.
00:48:55Oh, there you are.
00:48:56Oh, Timmy.
00:48:59Tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki.
00:49:01Oh, wait a minute, honey.
00:49:02Little Nelly will help you.
00:49:04Wait a minute.
00:49:05Give me.
00:49:07Wait a minute.
00:49:09Oh, oh, Timmy, help me up.
00:49:12Oh, good, good, good, good.
00:49:14I know you're behind the couch, Timmy.
00:49:24Come on.
00:49:24Bye.
00:49:25Bye.
00:49:26Bye.
00:49:29Oh, yeah, well.
00:49:30Bye.
00:49:35Pompa.
00:49:36Bye.
00:49:42Bye.
00:49:43Bye.
00:49:44Bye.
00:49:49Bye.
00:49:49Bye.
00:49:49Bye.
00:49:50Oh
00:50:09Hmm
00:50:15Yeah
00:50:20It's awful good to have had you.
00:50:29You go right straight home.
00:50:31Oh, right, right straight home.
00:50:34I'll see you tomorrow.
00:50:36Good night.
00:50:50Good night.
00:51:20Good night.
00:51:50Good night.
00:51:59Honest, ain't it a wow?
00:52:01Jimmy Dodge and Pansy Peeth on Broadway.
00:52:03Kid, I always said we'd get where we belong.
00:52:07See, Jimmy, I'm all trembling.
00:52:09It don't seem possible.
00:52:11That's a swell profile of me, ain't it?
00:52:18Yes, Jimmy, it is.
00:52:19Every inch of it.
00:52:21The whole thing seems like a dream.
00:52:25Gee, I hope nothing happens.
00:52:27There you go.
00:52:28You dames are always looking for trouble.
00:52:30What could happen?
00:52:32Is Professor Post here?
00:52:33No, we're waiting for him ourselves.
00:52:38Who are you?
00:52:39Well, I'm from his lawyer's office.
00:52:40I've got to see the professor right away.
00:52:42What about?
00:52:43Well, about a mythical inheritance of $750,000.
00:52:47Minical?
00:52:48Well, what's that, Pansy?
00:52:51Mythical is something that doesn't exist.
00:52:53You mean a $750,000 that the professor's got, he hasn't got?
00:52:57That's just what I mean.
00:52:59We've made a complete investigation of the professor's claims, and he hasn't got a dime.
00:53:05Gee, mister, you sure brought us some sweet news.
00:53:09And we're opening tonight.
00:53:11You mean you were opening tonight.
00:53:13Oh, Jimmy, we've got the professor in an awful fix.
00:53:16Since earlier this morning, we've been bombarded by people trying to collect for scenery, shoes, and costumes.
00:53:21Listen, pal, if the professor's broke, there's only one chance for everybody to get their dough.
00:53:26Let the show open.
00:53:27It's bound to click, and then we can pay off.
00:53:30Can't you do something?
00:53:31Oh, couldn't you?
00:53:32You know what I mean.
00:53:33Stall them off until after opening night.
00:53:36Well, there's only one chance.
00:53:38Get the professor out of the state immediately.
00:53:40Tell him to go over to Jersey for a little while.
00:53:41I'll do it.
00:53:43But remember, if he shows up at the theater tonight, somebody's going to slap an attachment on him,
00:53:47and your curtain never will go up.
00:53:51I knew it couldn't happen.
00:53:54It was too wonderful.
00:53:56Poor professor.
00:53:58I wonder where he is.
00:54:00I went by the hotel, and he said he hasn't been home all night.
00:54:03Good heavens.
00:54:04I'll bet he went for that cup of tea.
00:54:07Cup of tea?
00:54:08Jimmy, he's with that a spare woman.
00:54:10He's been there all night.
00:54:11Yeah?
00:54:12I'll get him.
00:54:13Buck up, kid.
00:54:14I'm going to get the professor, he's going to get Jersey, and Broadway is going to get us.
00:54:19I'll get you there.
00:54:23I'll get you there.
00:54:25Good heavens.
00:54:25I'll get you there.
00:54:26Good heavens.
00:54:27Good heavens.
00:54:28Good heavens.
00:54:28Wait.
00:54:59What are you doing here?
00:55:24Oh, I remember.
00:55:27You spiked my drink last night.
00:55:30What happened after that?
00:55:33I don't know.
00:55:34Oh, oh, it's terrible.
00:55:37It's terrible.
00:55:38After a girl loses her reputation,
00:55:40she ain't hardly got anything left.
00:55:42What are you going to do?
00:55:44I can apologize.
00:55:47Oh, Timmy,
00:55:48do you remember saying last night
00:55:50that if a gentleman compromised a lady,
00:55:53that he had ought to marry her?
00:55:57Oh, it's my brother.
00:56:00What are we going to do?
00:56:02Maybe I can apologize to him.
00:56:04What are we going to do?
00:56:05What are we going to do?
00:56:07Here, get in here.
00:56:08Quick, quick.
00:56:09Hurry, get in the bar.
00:56:10Get in the bar.
00:56:11Where's that man?
00:56:30What man?
00:56:31Don't stall, Nell.
00:56:32There's a man here.
00:56:32He's been here all night.
00:56:33Oh.
00:56:34Oh, Nell.
00:56:35Nell.
00:56:38What would Mother say?
00:56:40I didn't think you were that kind of a girl.
00:56:42Well, I've always acted like a lady.
00:56:44And when a gentleman spikes your drink well,
00:56:47what are you going to do?
00:56:54James.
00:56:56Well, I'll spike him.
00:56:57No, no, you mustn't.
00:57:00Come out.
00:57:01If you don't come out before I count three,
00:57:04I'll shoot.
00:57:05One, two, three.
00:57:09Put that gun away.
00:57:10Don't shoot.
00:57:11I'll marry you.
00:57:13Nell.
00:57:16Who are you?
00:57:18I'm a gentleman with scruples.
00:57:20And I'll marry you.
00:57:21Nell.
00:57:22Shut up.
00:57:24Say, who's making a sacrifice?
00:57:26You or me?
00:57:27And what right have you got to interfere
00:57:28with this girl's happiness?
00:57:30Honey, take all of me.
00:57:34I'll let you know.
00:57:36We'll give it four.
00:57:38Don't shoot.
00:57:39Hold the mic.
00:57:39Hold the mic.
00:57:39Hold it.
00:57:40See, we'll go ahead.
00:57:45Wait.
00:57:45We'll do it.
00:57:47Take it back.
00:57:48We'll wave.
00:57:53Oh, I'll carry you to the floor.
00:57:54Why isn't it?
00:57:55Don't throw.
00:57:55Give it up.
00:57:55Give it up.
00:57:57Oh, okay.
00:57:57That's right.
00:57:58I'll raise.
00:57:58In the cover.
00:57:59Get it here.
00:58:00And the small part.
00:58:00Reservations for Mr. Hancock.
00:58:22Yes, sir.
00:58:23Yes, come on.
00:58:24You are?
00:58:25Thank you, sir.
00:58:26Mrs. Morrison's reservations.
00:58:27Mrs. Morrison.
00:58:28Yes.
00:58:29Three.
00:58:30I'll go.
00:58:31Gee, that's great.
00:58:32Come on, Professor.
00:58:33Get right in.
00:58:36Uh-oh, James.
00:58:38I'll see you later at the theater.
00:58:40Yeah, yeah.
00:58:41See you later at the theater.
00:58:44Here.
00:58:45Take him to Jersey and keep him there.
00:58:47Okay.
00:58:48Go ahead.
00:58:49Step on it.
00:58:55Come on.
00:58:56Come on.
00:58:57Reno.
00:58:58Reno.
00:58:59Why isn't somebody here to help me?
00:59:01Reno.
00:59:02Yes, sir.
00:59:03Put it over there, will you?
00:59:04Reno.
00:59:05Listen.
00:59:06Where is that gadget you promised me?
00:59:08That gimmick?
00:59:09That Magoo?
00:59:10Where is it?
00:59:11I got it, Mr. Redmond.
00:59:12I got it yesterday.
00:59:13That round masking piece.
00:59:14Don't forget it now.
00:59:15Bring it here where it belongs and stay around where I can find you.
00:59:17Mr. Redmond.
00:59:18What's the matter?
00:59:19I haven't got my thing.
00:59:20Your what?
00:59:21My thing.
00:59:22Your thing.
00:59:23Well, what is it?
00:59:24Am I a mind reader?
00:59:25I cannot do the job.
00:59:26Please.
00:59:27Tell me what you...
00:59:28Reno.
00:59:29Reno.
00:59:30Where are you?
00:59:31Yes, Mr. Redmond.
00:59:32Take this guy and find his thing.
00:59:33Whatever it is, I don't...
00:59:34I'll get your scarf or I'll fuck you anything.
00:59:36Come on.
00:59:37Hold on.
00:59:38What's the matter?
00:59:39Have you seen my dressing room?
00:59:40What's the matter with your dressing room?
00:59:42You should take a look at it and then ask me what's the matter with it.
00:59:44Am I supposed to rebuild the theater?
00:59:46Oh, how do you expect me to keep my nose out?
00:59:49People are this out of me.
00:59:50People are mess out.
00:59:51And me giving a performance tonight.
00:59:53You have got the best dressing room in the...
00:59:55I might say.
00:59:56Reno.
00:59:57Reno.
00:59:58Where are you?
00:59:59Take Mrs. Farron.
01:00:00Give her the star room.
01:00:01The star room.
01:00:02Look as if you had a tough night.
01:00:09Oh, boy.
01:00:10They're pouring in.
01:00:11They're pouring in.
01:00:16Gee, it looks like a sellout.
01:00:18They'd only give a good smooth performance tonight.
01:00:20The show might get by at that.
01:00:21Sure we will.
01:00:22Yeah, yeah.
01:00:25Say, who's that guy over there with the derby on?
01:00:27That flat-footed fellow?
01:00:28What's he doing in here?
01:00:32I knew something was gonna happen.
01:00:34But I'll take care of him.
01:00:35All right, all right.
01:00:36Come on.
01:00:37Come on.
01:00:40Was you wanting something, mister?
01:00:41Yeah.
01:00:42Where's the manager of this show?
01:00:43How do I know?
01:00:44Well, you'd better find him.
01:00:46Here's an attachment.
01:00:47Joint action.
01:00:48Amount $10,000.
01:00:49Huh.
01:00:50$10,000?
01:00:51Ha.
01:00:52A mad bagatelle.
01:00:53Why, Professor Post will pay it the minute he gets here.
01:00:56If you'll just sit down and wait.
01:00:57I ain't waiting, young fella.
01:00:59I've got an injunction and I'm gonna close this show.
01:01:02Yeah, I know, mister.
01:01:04But you can't serve that paper on me.
01:01:06You gotta serve it to the owner of the show.
01:01:08That's what I'm asking you.
01:01:09Where's the owner?
01:01:10I'm telling you, he'll be here.
01:01:12Now, here's a nice chair.
01:01:14Just sit down and rest your feet.
01:01:28Don't hold me.
01:01:29Don't hold me.
01:01:30We gotta get the show on or it'll be stopped before we start.
01:01:32Well, what's the trouble now?
01:01:33It's the law.
01:01:34Oh, Jimmy.
01:01:35Right back where we were in Vicious Witch.
01:01:36Yeah.
01:01:37For Keeper Equilibrium.
01:01:38He's gonna serve the Professor.
01:01:39And the Professor is in dear old Jersey.
01:01:40Here.
01:01:41I told you girls to stay off that piano.
01:01:42Stay off the furniture in this place.
01:01:43Here, here, here.
01:01:44Clear the stage, please.
01:01:45Clear the stage.
01:01:46You're a musician.
01:01:47Go on, get down where you belong.
01:01:48Leave the stage.
01:01:49You got work.
01:01:50Girls, clear the stage, will you?
01:01:51Please clear the stage.
01:01:52I'm off this stage.
01:01:53Go on, get up.
01:01:54Get up.
01:01:55Get up.
01:01:56Get up.
01:01:57Get up.
01:01:58Get up.
01:01:59Get up.
01:02:00Get up.
01:02:01Get up.
01:02:02Get up.
01:02:03Get up.
01:02:04Get up.
01:02:05Get up.
01:02:06Get up.
01:02:07Make up.
01:02:08Get up.
01:02:09Get up.
01:02:10Pulled up.
01:02:11Get up.
01:02:12Get up.
01:02:14hurled.
01:02:17NATO.
01:02:18Get this.
01:02:20Gretel.
01:02:21Get this.
01:02:22Why don't you show somebody where to put that thing.
01:02:26I want to congratulate you and wish you all the success in the putting
01:02:27in the heart.
01:02:28No questions?
01:02:29Lieutenant 9.
01:02:31Come on.
01:02:33Come on.
01:02:34Come on, come on, get over there where you belong, will ya?
01:02:38Come on, now, where's that other guy? Hurry up, will ya?
01:02:41Miss Wildman! I'm Miss Wildman!
01:02:43Get over there where you belong, will ya?
01:02:45You find my thing? You find my thing, please?
01:02:49I gotta do the job! And Rosa is not here to go and cast us, please!
01:02:54Get paid, boy!
01:02:56I don't want to be, please!
01:02:57No, boy!
01:03:04I figure...
01:03:09Come on, we're late! We gotta get going!
01:03:14It's all over now!
01:03:16Why didn't you stay where you were? You...
01:03:18James, James, control yourself.
01:03:21You know, I was with a new-informed taxi man
01:03:24who took me into a tunnel underneath the Hudson River.
01:03:27I realized immediately that he was not familiar with the geography of the city.
01:03:32and I said, at the...
01:03:36That man.
01:03:38I will not permit strangers backstage.
01:03:40I'll eject him immediately.
01:03:41No, no, Professor!
01:03:43Come on, will ya?
01:03:45Get in there!
01:03:57Shh! Piana!
01:04:02Say, fella!
01:04:04I gotta have action!
01:04:05Where's this boss of yours?
01:04:07I told you he'd be here any minute if you'd just sit down and wait!
01:04:13What kind of guy is he?
01:04:15Oh!
01:04:16Tall man!
01:04:17Blonde!
01:04:18Dark glasses!
01:04:19And he walks with a limp!
01:04:21On account he's got a wooden leg!
01:04:22Oh!
01:04:23Oh!
01:04:28Get out of my way!
01:04:29What are you doing here?
01:04:31I told the Professor to fire you!
01:04:33Listen, it's there!
01:04:34I'm warning you!
01:04:35You leave the Professor alone!
01:04:36What?
01:04:38Why, we're going to be married!
01:04:40If I didn't know you were lying, I'd shake the silly little head off you!
01:04:43I'll do it anyway!
01:04:44Stop it, you little fool!
01:04:45You...
01:04:46Professor!
01:04:47Professor!
01:04:48She's gone crazy!
01:04:50Uh, Miss Pansy, uh...
01:04:52Oh, you little nitwitch, you!
01:04:58All ready?
01:04:59Ready?
01:05:00Look, I'll be on your toes!
01:05:01Now, be on your toes!
01:05:02All right, flash him!
01:05:04Bring it away!
01:05:09I want to know what happened last night and just what that woman means to you!
01:05:12Well, there was many things happening last night, but that woman means absolutely nothing to me!
01:05:18You're not going to marry her?
01:05:20Certainly not!
01:05:21Oh, Timsy!
01:05:34You're on the stage!
01:05:36You're on the stage!
01:05:37You're not going to marry her!
01:05:38Go, Timsy!
01:05:39Go, Timsy!
01:05:40Ladies and gentlemen, as Lord Chesterfield said, an honest error is to be pitied and not ridiculed!
01:05:59Ladies and gentlemen, as Lord Chesterfield said,
01:06:03an honest error is to be pitied and not ridiculed.
01:06:10He's through it in his place.
01:06:11Ring down the curtain.
01:06:12Ring down.
01:06:13Ring down nothing.
01:06:15Keep waiting that curtain, you.
01:06:16Can't you hear them laughs?
01:06:17Of course they're laughing.
01:06:18They're kidding the show.
01:06:20They're not kidding.
01:06:20They think the professor is part of the show.
01:06:22Oh, you're kidding.
01:06:23Now, young ladies, just line up that block where we do this.
01:06:28Just continue.
01:06:29Get that key on for real.
01:06:41Get it on.
01:06:42Due to my unfamiliarity with stage procedure,
01:06:44there has been a slight departure from Routine
01:06:46in this part of the entertainment.
01:06:48The drop, gentlemen.
01:06:49The drop.
01:06:51Your kind indulgence, we will continue.
01:06:52The game will entertain.
01:07:08Why is it every time that I go places, someone always picks on me?
01:07:17Tell me, what's the psychology of that?
01:07:19Why, only this morning I took a walk with my family of ten children
01:07:23when a cop comes up to me and says, under arrest.
01:07:26I said, for what?
01:07:27I didn't do nothing.
01:07:28He said, you must have done something with that crowd following you.
01:07:33And that's not all.
01:07:34Why am I always snubbed by pretty girls and debutantes?
01:07:38I know I'm not good looking, but what's my opinion against thousands of others?
01:07:44And to add to my humiliation, last night I went into a drugstore to get myself a drink of pop,
01:07:50went out of a clear sky and for nothing,
01:07:52a guy comes up to me and hits me on the head with a bottle
01:07:54and said, consider yourself launched.
01:07:56Was I amazed?
01:08:00Look here, Professor, you've got to keep off that stage.
01:08:02You're putting this whole show on the fritz.
01:08:04I was only trying to repair the damage I had done.
01:08:07Keep off that stage.
01:08:09Get me?
01:08:10Mr. Rayburn, I shall do my duty as I see it.
01:08:13And if you dare to interfere, I will expel you.
01:08:16Ah.
01:08:26I will expel you.
01:08:56Reno, Reno.
01:09:01Yes, Mr. Rayburn.
01:09:02Don't just speak at this bubble.
01:09:03Yes, Mr. Rayburn.
01:09:04Hurry up.
01:09:05Never in 30 years in the theater.
01:09:07Just be calm.
01:09:11Hurry up with those bubbles.
01:09:12Oh.
01:09:14Ah.
01:09:15Oh.
01:09:18Oh.
01:09:18Yes, sir.
01:09:19Hurry up.
01:09:20Wait that step.
01:09:21Hurry up.
01:09:22Oh.
01:09:24Oh.
01:09:25Oh.
01:09:26Sir, I've asked you now.
01:09:30I'm telling you to keep off that stage.
01:09:42Get out there and do something.
01:09:44I don't care what you steal, but do something.
01:09:46I steal nothing.
01:09:48Originality, personality, and unction.
01:09:50That's me.
01:09:50Well, get out there and do it.
01:09:58What do you mean by coming out there?
01:09:59Where am I getting my head?
01:10:00My head.
01:10:01My brother.
01:10:02My dick is the other one.
01:10:06Oh, Mrs. Field.
01:10:08If you could tell me where is my dick.
01:10:13Give me that bubble.
01:10:14Quick.
01:10:14Come at me.
01:10:14Come on.
01:10:30All right.
01:11:00Send the girls off for the torch number.
01:11:30Somebody give James a bottle.
01:11:42Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
01:11:52Retire.
01:11:54Retire.
01:11:55Action.
01:11:57Action.
01:11:58Action.
01:11:59You loser, my thinker.
01:12:00You've got to find them, I guess.
01:12:02Me, sir?
01:12:03How do you have peptides?
01:12:04Are you?
01:12:05Come on, me.
01:12:06Move them.
01:12:07Move them.
01:12:08Be tired.
01:12:10Action.
01:12:11Oh, it's a madhouse.
01:12:14They're crazy.
01:12:15I'm crazy.
01:12:16I'm crazy.
01:12:17Oh.
01:12:18Give me that stone.
01:12:19Yes, Mr. Reilly.
01:12:20They want stone, but...
01:12:22Give me my stone.
01:12:27Where?
01:12:31Mr. Reilly.
01:12:32Uh-huh.
01:12:33I don't care.
01:12:34Here, Reilly.
01:12:35Get me over here now.
01:12:38Say, who's the owner of this show?
01:12:52I am.
01:12:53Oh, boy.
01:12:54You're great.
01:12:55You've got a funny comeback for everything.
01:12:59Say, I've caught a lot of comedians, but you wear the funniest clothes I've ever seen.
01:13:09I've got to get the Professor off this stage.
01:13:32Now, what do you suggest, Reto?
01:13:35We could put him up at a flight, Karl Reilly.
01:13:38it's a great idea I want to be sure that you get a good view of this bicycle race yeah we want to
01:13:48get your reaction professor yes I want you up in the flies you want me up in the fly yes well I'm
01:13:55already well up in domestic insects oh no no I want you up in the fly gallery I want you to get
01:14:02an uninterrupted view of everything that goes on you see that's very thoughtful of you yes I just
01:14:07thought of it this minute just this minute that's just like Mr. Raypoint professor always giving
01:14:12somebody else a break yeah right up there yeah we go up there now you can see it right up Reno tie
01:14:17him to something yes come on come on come on come on come on come on where's this man he's right going
01:14:22Fred he can't win I've got the bicycles pick oh father father you must win you
01:14:30no no no no no no no no no no no oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I can't
01:14:46He can't win. I've got the bicycle's pick.
01:14:48Oh, father, father, you must win.
01:14:51You're a little faster, Charlie. A little faster.
01:14:54Yes, sir.
01:14:55Father, father, what a price, what a win.
01:14:57It's play of chaos.
01:15:05Let me help.
01:15:10Rito, stop the motor. Stop the motor.
01:15:16Hey. Oh, he'll kill himself.
01:15:21He'll kill him. Rito, stop the motor.
01:15:23What's the matter?
01:15:24The main champ, Mr. Ray Bison.
01:15:26Can't you stop it?
01:15:27No.
01:15:34I told you to tie him up there.
01:15:36What's the matter with you?
01:15:43What's going on?
01:15:44What's my act?
01:15:46What's going on?
01:15:47What's going on?
01:15:47What's going on?
01:15:48The main champ, Mr. Ray Bison.
01:15:49What's going on?
01:15:50What's going on?
01:15:51What's going on?
01:15:51What's going on?
01:16:06What's going on?
01:16:06Very unfortunate, I have to see the beat.
01:16:09I've got to see the beat.
01:16:10There has been a slight departure from the roofing of this section of the entertainment.
01:16:28What do you want me to do?
01:16:30Oh, walk on your hands, I don't care.
01:16:32Me walk on my hands?
01:16:33Yeah.
01:16:34Remember, I'm an otter.
01:16:35Oh, never mind.
01:16:36Due to a few mishaps, there has been a slight delay in our performance.
01:16:42But now that we are well organized, we will continue until it's moving.
01:17:06Reno.
01:17:07Yes, that's the right point.
01:17:08Can't they stop that cyclorama?
01:17:10No, I told you they broke the main shaft.
01:17:12Oh.
01:17:18Reno.
01:17:20Shoot him.
01:17:21They'll think it's part of the show.
01:17:26Yes.
01:17:31Yes, yes.
01:17:36Yes, yes.
01:17:37No, no.
01:17:40No.
01:17:41No.
01:17:56No.
01:17:58No.
01:18:00No.
01:18:01Hey, listen to them. There's still a thought.
01:18:03It's a smasher.
01:18:05It's a smasher.
01:18:07Listen, Raymond, you double-cross me.
01:18:09Why didn't you show me all this stuff at rehearsal?
01:18:11Why didn't you tell me the professor was a comedian?
01:18:13Where is Post?
01:18:15Out there, somewhere out there.
01:18:17What did I tell you? What did I tell you?
01:18:20Didn't I tell you we'd knock him dead?
01:18:22Mr. Billingham's looking for you, Professor Post.
01:18:24Mr. Billingham.
01:18:25What do you mean? Is this Post?
01:18:27Yes, yes.
01:18:28Why didn't you say so? I've been looking for him all night.
01:18:30Are you T. Z. Post?
01:18:33Yes.
01:18:34What do you mean, a tall guy?
01:18:37Can I help him if he shrinks from process service?
01:18:40Hey, what about this injunction?
01:18:42$10,000 in cost. Are you going to settle it?
01:18:44James will take care of the matter.
01:18:46Here he is, Mr. Billingham.
01:18:47Ah, congratulations, Professor. Congratulations.
01:18:49You fooled me, all right, but you got a hit.
01:18:51But don't let it go to your head.
01:18:53Come on, I want to talk business.
01:18:55This gentleman comes first.
01:18:56Oh, all right, all right. I can wait.
01:18:58But remember, don't sell the show till you get my figures.
01:19:01What about the $10,000?
01:19:02Oh, don't listen to that, Piker.
01:19:04$10,000.
01:19:05I'm talking regular money.
01:19:07$100,000.
01:19:08$100,000 for a half interest in the show.
01:19:11Now, what do you say?
01:19:12Take it. Take it.
01:19:13Pikes, sir.
01:19:14Fine, fine.
01:19:15I'll have the contracts made out the first thing in the morning.
01:19:17Good night. Good night.
01:19:18What about Irocon? Are you going to settle it or not?
01:19:21Mr. Billingham, our junior partner, takes care of the small details.
01:19:24Hey, hey, you!
01:19:25Miss Pansy.
01:19:26We're in.
01:19:27We're in.
01:19:28We're in.
01:19:29What did I tell you?
01:19:30What did I tell you?
01:19:31Please.
01:19:32Do something.
01:19:33One act.
01:19:34Two act.
01:19:35Then everything is all over.
01:19:36I don't find my thing yet.
01:19:37Now, wait.
01:19:38Wait.
01:19:39Let us settle this definitely.
01:19:41What is it you are looking for?
01:19:42Mypremise, my bank is.
01:19:43That's a beautiful.
01:19:44Great boy, what is this?
01:19:45It ain't on the prop list.
01:19:48Ah.
01:19:49Ah.
01:19:50That's my thing.
01:19:51That's my thing.
01:19:52Red.
01:19:53Red.
01:19:54That's my thing.
01:19:55the prop list. That's my thing. That's my thing. Reno. Reno. Reno. That's my thing.
01:20:08But what is it? That you put him in the mouth. Reno. Reno. Where's the professor? I don't
01:20:20know. Maybe beat it. Take it away, will you? Timoleon. Timoleon. We've got an engagement, and you're
01:20:34going to have to do plenty of explaining. I am fully aware of the fact that the events
01:20:42of the past few minutes have not been of a strictly conventional order. Therefore, I
01:20:46feel it necessary to clarify a situation which otherwise might be filled with
01:20:51doubt. This I will do through the medium of a much-quoted, but pungent phrase. That's
01:20:59to you.
01:21:16Linda.
01:21:18The End
01:21:19The End
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