00:00I've only got six weeks to live.
00:25I haven't told my friends.
00:30Not my colleagues.
00:34I haven't even told my wife.
00:44But there it is.
00:48March 22nd.
00:51Six weeks from now.
00:52I'm not complaining.
01:01I've never been one for it.
01:05I've had a pretty standard life.
01:06Nothing too awful.
01:12Nothing to write home about.
01:17Funny to think that it'll all be over soon.
01:18I actually find it brings me a kind of peace.
01:31This isn't just another sodding walk back from the shops in the sodding rain.
01:35It's probably my last.
01:43So look at it.
01:47Take it in.
01:47It's really tasty.
01:50I continue to play the roles as if nothing's wrong.
02:08Just a normal husband.
02:09Friend.
02:11Friend.
02:14Brother.
02:18Dad.
02:19Dad.
02:26No one knows.
02:32No one suspects.
02:33Still it's there.
02:52Just over three weeks to go now.
02:53March 22nd.
03:02The day to take my own life.
03:10No matter how bad things are, the date is set.
03:16Mustn't do anything before then.
03:17You see, my life is okay.
03:28It's fine.
03:31But it's only fine because I know I'll be dead in three weeks.
03:39Knowing this gets me through.
03:42Through the boredom.
03:45The anger.
03:48The frustration.
03:54Maybe.
03:55Just maybe I'll miss this.
04:00Yes.
04:02Even this.
04:10It's how I find my inner peace.
04:12As the indignities that make up a life mount up.
04:22I just count the days down.
04:23Two weeks and six days.
04:37Two weeks and five days.
04:38Two weeks and four days.
04:45Two weeks and four days.
04:46And sometimes.
04:55Then sometimes.
04:57So far, every time.
05:00Something happens.
05:03There might be something wondrous.
05:05There might be something beautiful.
05:13Something silly.
05:14There might be something that makes me think.
05:21There might be something that makes me think.
05:26And it makes me think I don't want to be dead in two weeks.
05:29There might be something that makes me think I need to be dead in two weeks.
05:30I don't know if it's a place.
05:31I'm sorry.
05:31I don't know if it's a place.
05:31I don't know if it's a place.
05:32I don't know if it's a place.
05:33I don't know if it's a place.
05:34And when that happens,
05:39I start again.
06:04Six weeks to live.
06:34Six weeks to live.
Comments