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  • 2 months ago
A neurotic delivery driver named Owen battles his OCD at a local convenience store while his TikToker girlfriend plans an exposure therapy dinner date at home. But when she helps him resist his compulsion, it subsequently triggers the apocalypse.
Transcript
00:001,2, 3. 1,2...
00:03No, babe. No. Please.
00:09Babe, come on.
00:11One second. I just need to finish this.
00:12You don't need to do anything, babe.
00:13I know. I know.
00:16No, you don't work there.
00:17You do not have to fix anybody's shelves.
00:23I...I don't know I guess...
00:26It's gonna be fine, Owen.
00:28Can you just trust me, please?
00:31I know. You're right.
00:34See? Breathe. Don't forget, we got rid of the String of Doom.
00:39No, no, no, no! Don't stop the window! Please!
00:42Owen, stop! This is good for you! This is good for you!
00:46It's done. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
00:48Don't do it! Don't!
00:50That didn't leave your pocket for years, but you overcame it!
00:55Mm-hmm.
00:57And, Owen, next to the String of Doom, your other compulsions walk in the park.
01:03We got this.
01:05Yeah, I don't feel like we got this.
01:08No, babe, please. Owen, this is important for me. For us.
01:13Like, if you can get through tonight...
01:15Oh, my God, dinner on Saturday's gonna be the easiest thing in the world with my parents.
01:20Is that what's worrying you, meeting my parents?
01:24No. Of course not.
01:30Okay, good.
01:32Babe, can you get some vanilla ice cream?
01:35I know you worry you can get frostbite from holding the tub.
01:38That's, like, great exposure for you.
01:41Vanilla ice cream. Sounds good.
01:44Yay, thank you.
01:50Fuck.
01:51What?
01:56There's a rocky road. In the manila section.
01:59Owen?
02:00I gotta move it.
02:02Owen, no, don't do it. No, Owen, stop!
02:06Think?
02:07Tell me what moving the rocky road is gonna do.
02:10If you say it out loud, you can just hear how irrational the thought is.
02:14Aren't you crazy?
02:15I don't want to speak into existence.
02:17Okay, I agree with that.
02:19With what?
02:20Me moving it?
02:21No!
02:22Owen?
02:23Just...
02:24Resist the urges.
02:28Please.
02:31For me.
02:41I know. You're right.
02:44Again, I'm sorry.
02:46It's okay.
02:47I love you.
02:49Walking away.
02:51I'm so proud.
02:54I'm so proud of you.
02:56I'm so proud of you.
02:57I'm so proud of you.
02:58Um, is there anything else I can grab?
03:01Um, I don't know. Let me think.
03:13Psst.
03:14Hey.
03:16Hey.
03:19You're just gonna leave that ice cream there?
03:21um hey babe yeah Owen I'm still thinking hey do your fucking job soldier she got the wrong guy sir
03:31I'm sorry wrong guy yeah right okay that's your bed you sleep in it coward hey babe I'm just gonna
03:42pay for what I've got there's this crazy guy talking crazy guy I'm the crazy guy yeah
03:48yeah we'll see this fucking place disorganized
03:54are you still there babe
04:00doesn't look so good I know you might be sick I don't know I'm not sick I just get nosebleeds when
04:12it's hot or when I'm stressed no it could be the brain cancer I did warn you sir could you just
04:17please just give me some space thanks sure thing I'll see
04:26who are you talking to the crazy guy he won't leave me alone hey speaking of alone
04:36that place looks familiar
04:38gas leak in the area residents are being urged to evacuate immediately as it appears a source of
04:42the gas leak is coming from the house directly is that babe is there a news crew outside of our
04:47building oh yeah how do you know that they've been here all day I don't know why Anna I need you to listen to me right now
04:55what the fuck they never wore that internet these days you can do a whole lot of digging
05:06babe yeah sorry Anna I need you to get out of there right now
05:11what I think there's a gas leak
05:13nice try Owen but you're not getting out of this exposure therapy
05:20right I'm being serious
05:22what the fuck
05:28Owen no you better not bail on me tonight
05:30we do bail on a lot of important shit
05:33no Owen wait wait what was it about candles that triggered you again
05:39Anna no
05:41see what you did hmm all because you're too chicken shit to do your job your god-given duty to make the world right
05:56I didn't I I didn't know what huh look Anna God rest her soul she didn't know what you do
06:02nobody knows what you do
06:04but I do
06:06who are you
06:08I don't worry about that okay
06:10that's top-secret information all you gotta know is that your compulsions the consequences if you don't go through them are real
06:18and only you can fix it
06:21hell
06:23you know
06:27yeah
06:28now let's get going all right because the shit's about to add me
06:32yeah let's go
06:33fuck it
06:34let's go
06:35ah
06:36what the fuck is wrong with my leg
06:38let's go
06:39Owen get up get going
06:41no
06:44no
06:45no
06:46Owen
06:47get up
06:48right now
06:49Jesus
06:51Christ
06:52it's double time get going
06:55Owen
06:56let's go
06:57let's go
06:58shit's about to add me
07:00go fast
07:01move
07:02get it
07:03get it
07:04get it
07:05get it
07:06you should go faster than that
07:13come on soldier
07:14get the shit done
07:16let's go Owen move
07:18move
07:19draw like a man not like a baby Owen
07:22Okay, I did it. Is that it?
07:46You did what you should have done before.
07:49Oh, thank you. Thank God.
07:51Is everything back to normal?
07:53Not really. I mean, what's happened's happened. You can't reverse it now.
07:58But the ice cream, I followed my compulsion.
08:00Yeah, you fixed that.
08:04What about the rest of this mess?
08:07Wait, what do I do?
08:16There's nothing you can do, soldier.
08:19You fucked up.
08:21No, no, no, no, go!
08:22No!
08:38I need some motherfucking robbery!
08:41Open that register right now, bitch!
08:43Everyone get the fuck down!
08:45You heard him, get the fuck down!
08:46No, I...
08:47Hey!
08:49You!
08:51Hey, you work for Scamazon!
08:54Yeah.
08:57Hey, where the fuck is my package, man?
09:00What?
09:01I don't...
09:02What package?
09:03I ordered a package three weeks ago.
09:05Three weeks!
09:06A motherfucking bidet.
09:07I still ain't got that bitch!
09:09You know how dirty my ass is right now!
09:13Hey, I know you.
09:14Hey, you that racist.
09:16What?
09:16No!
09:18That's not...
09:18Is that...
09:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:22That's the guy...
09:23You showed me the car?
09:24What happened in the car?
09:24Yo, yo shit is going viral!
09:26No, I'm not even like that!
09:27It's not even me in the photo!
09:29You racist!
09:30Piece of shit!
09:31Piece of shit!
09:33Hey, we should shoot his racist ass.
09:36I mean, yeah.
09:37Let's do it.
09:37Let's do it.
10:00Yes!
10:03Yes!
10:03Yes!
10:04Yes!
10:04Yes!
10:05Resist the urges, please, for me.
10:30You're right.
10:32I'm sorry.
10:32I'm walking away now.
10:36This is going to be great, okay?
10:38See you at home.
10:53That would be living living, sir.
10:58Make a wish.
11:02Keep the change.
11:10I put a spell on you.
11:33Keep the change.
11:40Because you're mine.
11:47Stop the things you do.
11:50What's up?
11:57I ain't lying.
11:58I can't stand.
12:07No running around.
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