00:00If only all friendships could play out like the ones in sitcoms.
00:06The main characters usually live next door to each other, spend copious amounts of time
00:10together, drink vats of coffee while having long, intimate conversations, and solve all
00:15of their problems in a cool 22 minutes.
00:18But we don't live in a sitcom world.
00:21Maintaining friendships, especially during life-changing events like graduating high
00:25school and moving away to college, isn't easy.
00:29It isn't uncommon to grow apart from your friends at this age, and as you get older,
00:34it becomes harder to make new friends as often.
00:37Today on Wellcast, we're going to help you deal with the important relationships in your
00:40life and we've got a four-step method to help you maintain the old friendships that you have.
00:46Sociologists generally agree that there are three conditions that are necessary for making
00:50good friends.
00:51How close you are geographically, how often you hang out, and how comfortable you are confiding
00:56in each other.
00:57In fact, studies show that people who actually hang out face-to-face are more likely to remain
01:03friends than those who simply talk on the phone.
01:06That said, those who talk on the phone to each other regularly are more likely to remain
01:10friends than those who only email.
01:13That's why many of your best friends are made in high school or college.
01:16You see these people every day and probably have a lot in common with them.
01:20But what happens when your friendships are no longer based around proximity or convenience?
01:26Let's say your best friend and you leave for different colleges.
01:29You no longer share any classes with her.
01:31You don't see her as often and when you do, it's a little awkward.
01:34She has a bunch of new stories about new friends and places that you don't quite fit into.
01:39But we've got you covered.
01:42It's time for our WellCast guide to maintaining friendships.
01:46We've got four suggestions for how to foster your friendships even in difficult situations.
01:52Please pause and print out your worksheet at WatchWellCast.com.
01:56Okay, are you ready?
01:59Let's begin.
02:00Step one, communicate.
02:03Remember this acronym, SPE, it stands for C, Phone, Email.
02:09Social media can make it feel like you're more in touch with your friends than you actually
02:13are.
02:14Hey, you get the big life updates from Facebook, in a relationship, graduating, moving across
02:20the country, but the details, the small talk that makes up a friendship, that you can only
02:26get from face-to-face contact.
02:28You should work hard to try to see the person whenever you can.
02:32If they don't live close, then phone rather than email.
02:35It shows your friend that you're serious about this relationship and it allows for longer,
02:40more intimate conversations.
02:42Step two, when in doubt, send you greetings.
02:46Okay, now that you've gotten in touch with your friend, what do you talk about?
02:50If you want to reach out but don't know how to break the ice, send a you greeting.
02:56People like to talk about themselves.
02:59Ask your friend how she's doing.
03:00Throw in a few compliments.
03:02I bet you're rocking your new job.
03:04And then let them fill you in.
03:06Step three, don't be too hard on your friends.
03:10One common thing you might notice now that you guys have been talking after a little while,
03:14is that you two have a little bit less in common.
03:17This is completely natural.
03:20Sometimes friends drift apart.
03:22People change a lot in this period of their lives.
03:25That doesn't mean you can't still be friends with someone.
03:27Just try not to focus on the differences.
03:30Well, you used to like the killers.
03:33And instead, focus on your shared experiences.
03:36Above all, cut your friends some slack.
03:39Think about the person you were when you guys first met.
03:42If you've changed, why can't they?
03:45Step four, take advantage of big events, reunions, birthdays.
03:51If you rarely get a chance to see your friend, these can be the perfect opportunity to reconnect,
03:56catch up, and celebrate without any awkwardness.
04:00Make a point to invite your friend to any large gatherings you're having.
04:03This is also a chance to introduce her to your new group of friends and vice versa.
04:09Alright, let's recap.
04:11The most important thing in maintaining your friendships is showing up.
04:15Hanging out in person.
04:17A great chance for this is a large celebration or milestone.
04:21And if you can't do that, give them a call.
04:23Send you statements when in doubt and ask about the other person.
04:28Don't be too hard on your friends.
04:30Don't expect them not to change.
04:32Hey!
04:33Did these tips help?
04:34Let us know!
04:36Tweet us at WatchWellCast, email us at WatchWellCast at gmail.com, or leave a comment down below.
04:44We'll see you next time!
05:04We'll see you next time!
05:13Thank you!
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