Guide to Maintaining Friendships

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Maintaining friendships during life-changing events such as graduation and moving away to college isn't easy. It's not uncommon to grow apart from your friends as you get older and it gets harder to stay in touch. Fortunately, WellCast has 4 tips on how to keep your friendships strong!

Transcript

00:00If only all friendships could play out like the ones in sitcoms.

00:06The main characters usually live next door to each other, spend copious amounts of time

00:10together, drink vats of coffee while having long, intimate conversations, and solve all

00:15of their problems in a cool 22 minutes.

00:18But we don't live in a sitcom world.

00:21Maintaining friendships, especially during life-changing events like graduating high

00:25school and moving away to college, isn't easy.

00:29It isn't uncommon to grow apart from your friends at this age, and as you get older,

00:34it becomes harder to make new friends as often.

00:37Today on Wellcast, we're going to help you deal with the important relationships in your

00:40life and we've got a four-step method to help you maintain the old friendships that you have.

00:46Sociologists generally agree that there are three conditions that are necessary for making

00:50good friends.

00:51How close you are geographically, how often you hang out, and how comfortable you are confiding

00:56in each other.

00:57In fact, studies show that people who actually hang out face-to-face are more likely to remain

01:03friends than those who simply talk on the phone.

01:06That said, those who talk on the phone to each other regularly are more likely to remain

01:10friends than those who only email.

01:13That's why many of your best friends are made in high school or college.

01:16You see these people every day and probably have a lot in common with them.

01:20But what happens when your friendships are no longer based around proximity or convenience?

01:26Let's say your best friend and you leave for different colleges.

01:29You no longer share any classes with her.

01:31You don't see her as often and when you do, it's a little awkward.

01:34She has a bunch of new stories about new friends and places that you don't quite fit into.

01:39But we've got you covered.

01:42It's time for our WellCast guide to maintaining friendships.

01:46We've got four suggestions for how to foster your friendships even in difficult situations.

01:52Please pause and print out your worksheet at WatchWellCast.com.

01:56Okay, are you ready?

01:59Let's begin.

02:00Step one, communicate.

02:03Remember this acronym, SPE, it stands for C, Phone, Email.

02:09Social media can make it feel like you're more in touch with your friends than you actually

02:13are.

02:14Hey, you get the big life updates from Facebook, in a relationship, graduating, moving across

02:20the country, but the details, the small talk that makes up a friendship, that you can only

02:26get from face-to-face contact.

02:28You should work hard to try to see the person whenever you can.

02:32If they don't live close, then phone rather than email.

02:35It shows your friend that you're serious about this relationship and it allows for longer,

02:40more intimate conversations.

02:42Step two, when in doubt, send you greetings.

02:46Okay, now that you've gotten in touch with your friend, what do you talk about?

02:50If you want to reach out but don't know how to break the ice, send a you greeting.

02:56People like to talk about themselves.

02:59Ask your friend how she's doing.

03:00Throw in a few compliments.

03:02I bet you're rocking your new job.

03:04And then let them fill you in.

03:06Step three, don't be too hard on your friends.

03:10One common thing you might notice now that you guys have been talking after a little while,

03:14is that you two have a little bit less in common.

03:17This is completely natural.

03:20Sometimes friends drift apart.

03:22People change a lot in this period of their lives.

03:25That doesn't mean you can't still be friends with someone.

03:27Just try not to focus on the differences.

03:30Well, you used to like the killers.

03:33And instead, focus on your shared experiences.

03:36Above all, cut your friends some slack.

03:39Think about the person you were when you guys first met.

03:42If you've changed, why can't they?

03:45Step four, take advantage of big events, reunions, birthdays.

03:51If you rarely get a chance to see your friend, these can be the perfect opportunity to reconnect,

03:56catch up, and celebrate without any awkwardness.

04:00Make a point to invite your friend to any large gatherings you're having.

04:03This is also a chance to introduce her to your new group of friends and vice versa.

04:09Alright, let's recap.

04:11The most important thing in maintaining your friendships is showing up.

04:15Hanging out in person.

04:17A great chance for this is a large celebration or milestone.

04:21And if you can't do that, give them a call.

04:23Send you statements when in doubt and ask about the other person.

04:28Don't be too hard on your friends.

04:30Don't expect them not to change.

04:32Hey!

04:33Did these tips help?

04:34Let us know!

04:36Tweet us at WatchWellCast, email us at WatchWellCast at gmail.com, or leave a comment down below.

04:44We'll see you next time!

05:04We'll see you next time!

05:13Thank you!

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