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Chris tombe éperdument amoureux d'Allison, une femme juive, et veut même l'épouser. Il demande à son ami de l'aider à devenir plus juif.
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Original Title : Finding Mrs Right
Catégorie : Film en Français Complet en VF, VOSTFR, Comédie, Romance, Humour, Emotion, Film Entier
© 2025 - Tous Droits Réservés
🔥 Les nouveautés ici ➤ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpylctLnP9NVC0Lv8HD34xaG1GnDQBTZq
#FilmComplet #BoxofficeNouveautés #FilmsMULTI
💛 Snapchat ➤ https://www.snapchat.com/p/1684933092515270
Original Title : Finding Mrs Right
Catégorie : Film en Français Complet en VF, VOSTFR, Comédie, Romance, Humour, Emotion, Film Entier
© 2025 - Tous Droits Réservés
Catégorie
🎥
Court métrageTranscription
00:44:52Le bar mitzvah.
00:44:53Oi.
00:44:54This is our newest member.
00:44:55I was telling you about Avi.
00:44:56Hi.
00:44:57I'm Avi Rosenberg.
00:44:58Welcome to Beth Jacob, Avi.
00:44:59Thank you, Rabbi.
00:45:00Has Marcy warned you about our little club?
00:45:02Oh, no.
00:45:03Uh, club?
00:45:0418 years ago, a boy named Adam Lipschitz had a panic attack during his bar mitzvah,
00:45:09dropped his trousers, and exposed himself to the congregation.
00:45:14That's messed up.
00:45:15Oh, it is messed up, Avi.
00:45:16What's even more messed up is that to this day, Adam's lewd act has become the rite of
00:45:21passage for every boy who's had his bar mitzvah at our temple.
00:45:24In fact, there hasn't been a bar mitzvah boy since 1993 who hasn't shown his to the entire
00:45:31congregation.
00:45:32I've tried everything.
00:45:33They won't stop.
00:45:34I've seen the penises of 459 young boys.
00:45:38So unless you're really into schlongs, Avi, this ain't the temple for you.
00:45:42He gets excited.
00:45:45Avi, Shlomi and I are so embarrassed that on your very first Saturday morning service with
00:45:51you had to see.
00:45:53Genitals.
00:45:54And we sincerely hope that the fact that our temple has a club won't make you consider
00:45:59joining elsewhere.
00:46:00Not at all.
00:46:01Not at all.
00:46:02What was the name of the young man who started it all?
00:46:04Adam Lipschitz?
00:46:05Lipschitz.
00:46:06I hope I don't run into him, huh?
00:46:08Yes, don't we all.
00:46:09I've seen enough.
00:46:10What a freak.
00:46:11Excuse me, Rabbi.
00:46:12Would you like some fish?
00:46:13Oh, yes.
00:46:14Thank you, uh, Hymen.
00:46:21Thank you.
00:46:22Oi.
00:46:23Wow.
00:46:24I have to say our people have invented a lot of lousy food, but gefilte fish might be
00:46:29the worst.
00:46:31My advice is to get it over with as quickly as possible.
00:46:37Two bites.
00:46:38Wham.
00:46:39Bam.
00:46:40Done.
00:46:41Ah.
00:46:42Shlomi, honey, are you all right?
00:46:46Go away!
00:46:47Damn it, Shlomo.
00:46:48I am coming in now.
00:46:49No, you don't want to see this.
00:46:50It'll change you.
00:46:51It changed me.
00:46:52I'm shitting relatives.
00:46:53Oh, Marcy.
00:46:54I hate to do this to you, Cupcake, but I think I'm gonna have to bow out of the tournament.
00:46:58No.
00:46:59No, no, no, no, no, Shlomo.
00:47:00You are not doing any such thing.
00:47:01Now, this is the finals.
00:47:02If we have to take some sort of slop bucket, then so be it.
00:47:03I'm sorry, Lollipop.
00:47:04But we'll just have to wait another year to beat those damn fleisters.
00:47:06Darn it.
00:47:07What tournament?
00:47:08What tournament?
00:47:09What tournament?
00:47:10What tournament?
00:47:11I'm sorry.
00:47:12I'm sorry, Lollipop.
00:47:13But we'll just have to wait another year to beat those damn fleisters.
00:47:16Darn it.
00:47:17What tournament?
00:47:19What tournament?
00:47:20It is the NBLA Regionals.
00:47:23We are in the finals.
00:47:24It starts in three hours.
00:47:25Oh.
00:47:26But, well, I guess that I won't be going this year.
00:47:30I play bridge.
00:47:32He and God, all I do is help you.
00:47:35I want to thank all of you for taking part in what is the world's greatest sporting event,
00:47:45Duplicate Bridge.
00:47:47Of course.
00:47:48Stand up!
00:47:49Feel this time!
00:47:51You know your time has come!
00:47:54All or not, it's time to feel alive.
00:47:58Oh!
00:48:00Oh!
00:48:01So here is destiny!
00:48:03To clean you up!
00:48:04Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:48:34Two-way tie
00:48:36That means sudden death
00:48:39Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
00:48:42You've all been briefed on the rules
00:48:43Three boards, two out of three wins
00:48:47Let's keep it clean
00:48:49Begin
00:48:51Yes!
00:49:04Rosenberg Martin's big one, nothing
00:49:06They're freaking me out a little bit
00:49:11You just pay no attention
00:49:12I've been playing with them for years
00:49:13It's disturbing
00:49:14You can do this, right?
00:49:25Trust me
00:49:25It's over
00:49:27Trump
00:49:28What?
00:49:30Trump, baby
00:49:31It's called Trump
00:49:32It's called Trump
00:49:33It's called Trump
00:49:34You did it!
00:49:36Oh my god
00:49:40We're the big winners over here
00:49:43We beat the Flashman
00:49:45We beat the Flashman
00:49:46We beat the Flashman
00:49:47We beat the Flashman
00:49:48Oh you are amazing
00:49:53We did it, we did it
00:49:55Yeah, what's going on?
00:49:57Oh honey, honey
00:49:58Did you see us?
00:50:03Odyssey
00:50:03Avi, what are you doing here?
00:50:06What, you two know each other?
00:50:07Yeah, this is the girl I told you about
00:50:10We went on a date
00:50:10She never called me back
00:50:11How do you two know each other?
00:50:13That's my daughter
00:50:14What?
00:50:15Your daughter?
00:50:16Uh, mom, can I talk to you
00:50:17Just for a second?
00:50:20Um, I, I met that guy
00:50:23At your last mixer
00:50:24We went on a date
00:50:25And he ended up being
00:50:26One of the strangest guys
00:50:27I've ever met
00:50:28How can you possibly say that?
00:50:29I think he is wonderful
00:50:31He asked our waiter
00:50:32If he could chew him down
00:50:34On the check
00:50:34And then he said
00:50:36That I had a cute little jupeak
00:50:37Oh, oh
00:50:38I'm sure that he was just joking
00:50:40He's very funny
00:50:41Really?
00:50:41Okay
00:50:42Well then we went to a jazz club
00:50:44And he stood up
00:50:45In front of everyone
00:50:45And said that
00:50:47Smokey Joe Jefferson
00:50:48Is a schwarzer
00:50:48Well, he is one, isn't he?
00:50:50He is a psycho
00:50:51I mean, isn't it obvious
00:50:52That he's like stalking me?
00:50:53Oh, please
00:50:54Now, come on
00:50:55I mean, the man is a doctor
00:50:57It's not like he has time
00:50:58To stalk
00:50:59No, obviously
00:51:00This is some sort of
00:51:01Crazy coincidence
00:51:02That, you know
00:51:03It's
00:51:03Now, wait a minute
00:51:05Actually, I, I don't
00:51:08I don't think that
00:51:11This is a coincidence
00:51:12At all
00:51:13No, I think
00:51:14That this just might be
00:51:15A fate
00:51:16Trying to get you two together
00:51:18Wow
00:51:20I have never heard you like this
00:51:22All right
00:51:23Allison, darling
00:51:23Listen to me
00:51:24Now, you are 27 years old
00:51:26And have I ever
00:51:28Tried to set you up
00:51:29With anyone?
00:51:29No
00:51:30And why is that?
00:51:32Because I have never
00:51:33Felt that anyone
00:51:34Was good enough for you
00:51:34Until now
00:51:36What are you doing?
00:51:47What?
00:51:48I told you
00:51:48To let me get to the altar
00:51:50Look at me for 15 seconds
00:51:52Let the tension build
00:51:53And then slowly
00:51:54Pull my veil back
00:51:55And where's the rabbi?
00:51:57Can somebody get him off the shitter?
00:51:58Okay, fine
00:51:59Whatever
00:51:59Let's just keep going
00:52:00No, we can't keep going
00:52:01We have to keep doing it
00:52:03Until we get it right
00:52:03Adam, your timing was way off
00:52:05I clocked you pulling back
00:52:06The veil after four seconds
00:52:07Yeah
00:52:07That's the least of our problems
00:52:08You didn't even have tears
00:52:09In your eyes
00:52:10When you lifted up the veil
00:52:11It's a rehearsal
00:52:12Who cares if it's a rehearsal?
00:52:13Don't you love my daughter so much
00:52:15That you tear up every time you see her?
00:52:16I can't believe you're being so insensitive
00:52:17Don't you know
00:52:18That she is still recovering
00:52:20From her surgery?
00:52:21Oh, by the way
00:52:22Hannah has your new vatch
00:52:24Jill
00:52:24Stop talking about Hannah's vagina
00:52:26Less ugly?
00:52:28Dennis
00:52:28Dad
00:52:29What?
00:52:29Pokey-poo
00:52:30The Daniels are right
00:52:31You really need to take this
00:52:32A little bit more seriously
00:52:34Because we only have
00:52:34Three more rehearsals left
00:52:36Till the wedding
00:52:36Megan, sweetie
00:52:38Your pedal throng's got a little bit sloppy
00:52:40And unfocused
00:52:40Remember, it's three pedals per step
00:52:43Screw it up again
00:52:44And you're both out
00:52:45Okay, so let's take it from the poems
00:52:49What?
00:52:51The poems?
00:52:51Yes
00:52:52Oh, honey
00:52:52You want to do that now?
00:52:53I thought that was going to be a surprise
00:52:55For the wedding day
00:52:56It's going to be a surprise for the guests
00:52:57But I need to see how you perform it
00:52:59So I can give you notes
00:52:59Okay
00:53:02Hannah
00:53:04Yes?
00:53:05The day I met you
00:53:06It was like a dream
00:53:08Even more thrilling
00:53:09Than my father's new embroidery machine
00:53:11Fine
00:53:12Fine
00:53:13My feelings towards you are so extreme
00:53:15That sometimes when I'm with you
00:53:16I just
00:53:17I just want to
00:53:18Scream
00:53:21What grade is he in?
00:53:22The thought of being without you
00:53:24Words can't explain
00:53:25If you only knew what was going on
00:53:28Inside
00:53:28My
00:53:29Brain
00:53:30Brain
00:53:33Brain
00:53:33Brain
00:53:34I can't believe I'm about to spend
00:53:36The rest of my years
00:53:38With you
00:53:38And in just a few minutes
00:53:41I'm going to say the words
00:53:44I
00:53:46Can't
00:53:47I
00:53:49I'm going to say the words
00:53:54I
00:53:55What are you doing?
00:53:59I'm not ready to be a man
00:54:01What?
00:54:02Again?
00:54:02I'm not ready to be a man
00:54:04Finally he says something true
00:54:05What?
00:54:06I'm not ready to be a man
00:54:08I'm not ready to be a man
00:54:11I'm not ready to be a man
00:54:13Adam
00:54:14This is why I wanted to rehearse
00:54:16What the fuck?
00:54:19You're kidding right?
00:54:20No no because
00:54:21Sex you know has a way of complicating things
00:54:25And
00:54:25I want to get to know you
00:54:27I want to get to know the real you
00:54:29I can't believe you're saying this
00:54:31I've never met a guy who wanted to wait
00:54:32So then I saw your commercial
00:54:35So I went to the palace
00:54:36And we've been hanging out ever since
00:54:38He never said a word to us about this
00:54:39God forbid he should tell us anything
00:54:41Have you heard from him at all in the last week?
00:54:43No no I've been calling him too
00:54:45He hasn't returned any of my calls
00:54:46What if he was murdered by the homeless meth heads?
00:54:49What if he was blown by a vampire?
00:54:51Did he say anything about Hannah?
00:54:53About the wedding?
00:54:53No nothing
00:54:54Daddy
00:54:55You know what?
00:54:56He probably just got cold feet
00:54:57I disappeared for six months before my wedding
00:55:00Right honey?
00:55:00Uh that was me
00:55:01Oh that's right
00:55:03How are you a doctor?
00:55:05Oh my god
00:55:05He's gone forever
00:55:08And I'm never gonna have a baby
00:55:11Oh god
00:55:14I'm never gonna have a grandchild
00:55:17I'm not gonna have a grandchild
00:55:21God damn it
00:55:22Do something Bruce
00:55:23Oh no
00:55:26Oh no
00:55:28No
00:55:30Hello
00:55:41Adam
00:55:44Now the doctors at the hospital referred you to Serenity Hills because they felt that Adam required a more intense hands-on environment for his condition
00:55:58His condition
00:55:59Oh Adam is suffering from a severe case of post-traumatic stress disorder
00:56:04Oh what the
00:56:06I didn't do it
00:56:06I just don't understand what could have caused all this
00:56:09Not again
00:56:10And your fault
00:56:12Honey you can still change your mind
00:56:14Oh my god
00:56:15Oh my god
00:56:16Oh my god
00:56:17Oh my god
00:56:18What the
00:56:19Seems fine to me
00:56:20Get him
00:56:21Get him
00:56:22Run
00:56:23Get him
00:56:24Get back here
00:56:25In a case like Adam's who has a long history of panic attacks it's not uncommon that he would reach what we refer to as the ha or the hyper-aroused state
00:56:36What we are watching nuts numbness numbing
00:56:43So sorry
00:56:44Now over the next 21 days
00:56:4621 days no no no that is July 2nd July 2nd is my wedding
00:56:50We gotta get a matter quicker than that I got 200 grand in deposits do you have like an express service
00:56:54Express service?
00:56:55This is our only son you're talking about
00:56:57We're not putting him in some express service
00:56:59Whoa
00:57:00Whoa
00:57:01Just relax
00:57:02Breathe
00:57:03We need 21 days and if you cannot give us that then get him out of here
00:57:08No
00:57:09We can go swimming I don't know
00:57:11It's gonna be okay
00:57:12Look he looks better on the ladder
00:57:14Is just me or does that dolphin look like him?
00:57:17No
00:57:18You never did that with me ever
00:57:20Give him time
00:57:22Here's a nightmare
00:57:24F*** you Adam
00:57:25F*** you
00:57:26F*** you
00:57:27F*** you
00:57:28Shoddy Williams come on down
00:57:31Oh gosh they've seen this since I was a kid
00:57:35Wow
00:57:37It's amazing they can still find humans who will actually appear in this show
00:57:42I'm Salah Khan
00:57:44I've been assigned to be your primary counsellor
00:57:47Look
00:57:49If you don't want to talk it's no problem you don't have to talk
00:57:53I mean these things take time
00:57:55And I've got all the time you need
00:58:00All right are you ready for some Paco?
00:58:02Okay let's do it
00:58:03That f*** out
00:58:04Yeah
00:58:05And give it a drop
00:58:06Okay all right
00:58:08There it goes
00:58:10It's a little tea time
00:58:12Why is it that only fat people make it into the showdown?
00:58:17Fine
00:58:19You know you want to sit there like a vegetable all day pretend like you don't hear me then go right ahead
00:58:25But my job is to make you well again by having you face the traumatic events that have forced you into this state
00:58:31So unless you're willing to turn off the TV and do that then I would save the $2,500 a day you're spending here and go check yourself into a hotel
00:58:42All right suit yourself
00:58:44You stare all you like little man
00:58:46What did you just say?
00:58:51So anyway the mohel slips a piece falls off hits me in the punim I've been cockeyed ever since
00:59:01So Ami Allison tells me you're from Skokie
00:59:03Yeah yeah
00:59:04You know uh Al and I grew up in Glenview
00:59:08Sorry excuse me
00:59:09Oh really?
00:59:10Yeah we were practically neighbors your family still there?
00:59:13Nope
00:59:14Where'd they move to?
00:59:15They moved
00:59:17To heaven
00:59:18Oh I'm so sorry
00:59:21When did they pass?
00:59:22They um
00:59:23They passed a few years back
00:59:25I can't believe you never told me that
00:59:26Well it's not a lie
00:59:27I'm sorry
00:59:28I'm sorry
00:59:29When did they pass?
00:59:30They um
00:59:31They passed a few years back
00:59:32You never told me that
00:59:33Well it's hard to talk about
00:59:35It's very raw
00:59:36Why?
00:59:37What happened?
00:59:38A hunting accident
00:59:39Oi
00:59:40A hunting accident?
00:59:41They got shot by hunters
00:59:42What were your parents doing wandering around where people were hunting?
00:59:45They weren't
00:59:46They were um
00:59:47The hunters were hunting in our backyard
00:59:49What were the hunters doing in your backyard?
00:59:51They had gotten lost and uh were off track
00:59:54And uh my parents were wearing their brown onesies
00:59:57And uh
00:59:59The um
01:00:00The hunters mistook them for elk
01:00:01Oh
01:00:02What happened to the hunters?
01:00:03Were they arrested?
01:00:04No
01:00:05They are still at large
01:00:06You know what Avi?
01:00:07The police chief in Skokie is an old friend of mine
01:00:09I'm calling him tomorrow
01:00:11We'll see if we can't help move things along
01:00:14Huh
01:00:15Forgive me but weren't you on the phone with your
01:00:17Can we talk about something else?
01:00:18Of course
01:00:19I was watching TV last night
01:00:21Um
01:00:22Ten Commandments
01:00:23Charlton Heston
01:00:24What an actor
01:00:25Not Jewish you know
01:00:26Who isn't
01:00:27Who isn't
01:00:29So I'm
01:00:30I'm up there
01:00:31And
01:00:32We're rehearsing these
01:00:33These poems that we had written for each other
01:00:37And
01:00:38Right at the part where
01:00:39I'm about to say I do
01:00:42I just
01:00:43I just cracked
01:00:44Good Adam
01:00:45Do you remember how you were feeling in that very moment?
01:00:49No
01:00:50I mean I
01:00:51I just
01:00:53For a split second
01:00:54I saw my entire life with Hannah flash before my eyes
01:00:58And why did that scare you?
01:01:00Probably because
01:01:02I
01:01:04I don't think she's right for me
01:01:05So then why are you marrying her?
01:01:07I don't know
01:01:08You're avoiding the question Adam
01:01:11I think you do know
01:01:13Now what I want you to do is
01:01:15Try to pinpoint the exact moment in your life
01:01:18Where this pressure you're feeling originated
01:01:24I was 12 years old
01:01:25Stop staring at her Adam
01:01:30That is rude
01:01:32You're cute
01:01:33You stare all you right little man
01:01:36You are not
01:01:38And you will never be
01:01:39Her little man
01:01:40Why can't I be her little man?
01:01:42Because she's not Jewish
01:01:43So I can't be with a girl who's not Jewish?
01:01:44That's right
01:01:45Why?
01:01:46Because it's your responsibility to perpetuate our religion
01:01:48Why?
01:01:49Because six million of our ancestors died and we owe it to them
01:01:51Why?
01:01:52Because they're dead
01:01:53So what does that have to do with me?
01:01:54Because you're Jewish
01:01:55The fate of our entire religion depends on you
01:02:00It depends on me
01:02:01It depends on me
01:02:02It depends on me
01:02:03It's all right
01:02:04It all depends on me
01:02:05It's all right
01:02:06It's all right Adam
01:02:07Rosh Hashanah
01:02:08Oh God
01:02:09Oh God
01:02:10Oh God
01:02:11Oh God
01:02:12Adam that was really good
01:02:15Really good
01:02:18I'm here
01:02:24I'm here
01:02:25I'm here
01:02:26I'm here
01:02:27I'm here
01:02:28I'm here
01:02:29I'm here
01:02:30I'm here
01:02:31I'm here
01:02:32I'm here
01:02:33I'm here
01:02:34I'm here
01:02:35I'm here
01:02:36I'm here
01:02:37I'm here
01:02:38I'm here
01:02:39I'm here
01:02:40I'm here
01:02:41I'm here
01:02:42I'm here
01:02:43I'm here
01:02:44How you doing?
01:02:45Just working
01:02:46What are you doing?
01:02:47Oh nothing.
01:02:48Just here at the hospital checking in on patients, patients, patients
01:02:51What's up baby?
01:02:53Well I just spoke to my dad
01:02:54and he talked to the chief of police in Skokie
01:02:56And there's no record of any Rosenbergs being shot and guns by hunters
01:03:00Really?
01:03:01En fait, il n'y a pas de mort en Skokie, jamais.
01:03:05Donc j'ai cherché à l'encher et je n'ai pas trouvé quelque chose.
01:03:08Alisson, je ne voulais pas vous dire ceci,
01:03:11mais mes parents étaient dans le programme de protection.
01:03:15Et quand ils ont été mort,
01:03:17le FBI a détruit leurs records.
01:03:21Qu'est-ce qu'ils ont fait dans le programme de protection ?
01:03:24Jimmy Hoffa ?
01:03:25Qu'est-ce que Jimmy Hoffa ?
01:03:26Regarde, j'ai dit trop trop déjà, tu comprends ?
01:03:28Avi, j'ai juste l'impression que tu es hiding des choses pour moi.
01:03:30Je veux dire, j'ai été venu pour un mois,
01:03:31et tu n'as jamais dit que tes parents ont été mort par elk hunters ?
01:03:35Et maintenant ils sont dans le programme de protection ?
01:03:37Et en plus de tout ça,
01:03:38j'ai juste l'impression que tu peux être gay.
01:03:40Qu'est-ce que...
01:03:41Gay ?
01:03:42Wow !
01:03:43Pourquoi vous pensez que je suis gay ?
01:03:45Parce qu'est-ce qui va avec une fille pour un mois
01:03:47et ne veut pas dormir avec elle ?
01:03:48Je veux.
01:03:49Je veux.
01:03:50Je veux.
01:03:51Je veux.
01:03:52Je veux.
01:03:53C'est exactement ce que ma Aunt Judy's husband
01:03:56de la mémoire qu'elle était là,
01:03:57et il y a 20 ans et deux plus,
01:03:58il en statement elle s'estüillée en lui
01:03:59avec une ballme multipépendante
01:04:02à lui,
01:04:03qui a être fatiguée
01:04:04comme la �?
01:04:05Je suis trop d'Sound d'Orthée
01:04:06de la Femme de la Wister de l'Oz !
01:04:07Ok ?
01:04:08Et je ne vais pas faire comme ma Aunt Judy !
01:04:09Ok.
01:04:11Ok.
01:04:12Ok.
01:04:13Ok.
01:04:14Ok.
01:04:15Ok.
01:04:16Ok.
01:04:17Ok.
01:04:18Ok.
01:04:19Ok.
01:04:20Ok.
01:04:21Ok.
01:04:22Ok.
01:04:23Ok.
01:04:24Je vous ai dit que je vous ai dit que quelques semaines.
01:04:27Quand est-ce que vous allez?
01:04:29En deux heures.
01:04:31Tu sais, quand vous êtes en Hell,
01:04:34peut-être que vous et Ted Bundy nous pouvons être nos amis.
01:04:44Vous savez, Russe, je suis à la bille ici
01:04:46pour $42,765.
01:04:50Et, uh, considérons que nous avons décidé de split
01:04:52les wedding expenses,
01:04:54nous devons aller halfsies.
01:04:56Comment est-ce que vous avez fait votre son
01:04:57à la wedding expérience?
01:04:58L'honneur, c'est un casque
01:05:00à la loi de la loi.
01:05:02C'est une loi de la loi.
01:05:04C'est une loi de l'existe.
01:05:05C'est une loi de l'existe condition.
01:05:08Il y a pas de l'existe condition.
01:05:09Il n'y a pas de l'existe.
01:05:10Il n'y a pas de l'existe.
01:05:12Oh.
01:05:13Oh.
01:05:14Hey, vous êtes impuyant que mon fils a quelque chose
01:05:15à faire avec Adam's freakout ?
01:05:17Oh, elle n'est pas impuyant,
01:05:18elle est en train.
01:05:19Il n'y a pas de l'existe.
01:05:20Il n'y a pas de l'existe.
01:05:21Oh, vous n'êtes pas impuyant.
01:05:22Oh, vous êtes pas impuyant.
01:05:23Everyone, please.
01:05:24Nous avons travaillé très fort
01:05:25à rendre Adam
01:05:26à la pointe qu'il est en thérapie.
01:05:28Et il a très difficile.
01:05:30Mais ces derniers jours,
01:05:31il a vraiment réussi
01:05:33à venir de l'existe.
01:05:35Oh, God !
01:05:36Oh, God !
01:05:37Oh, God !
01:05:38Oh, God !
01:05:39Oh, God !
01:05:40Oh, God !
01:05:41Oh, God !
01:05:42Oh, God !
01:05:43Oh, God !
01:05:44Oh, God !
01:05:45Oh, God !
01:05:46Oh, God !
01:05:47Oh, God !
01:05:48Oh, God !
01:05:49Oh, God !
01:05:50Oh, God !
01:05:51Oh, God !
01:05:52Oh, God !
01:05:54So, let me get this straight.
01:05:56You no longer want to get married to me
01:05:59because you're in love with your Mongolian doctor ?
01:06:02I know this must be a shock for everyone,
01:06:04but when Adam finally opened up to me,
01:06:07I don't know, we just clicked.
01:06:09What do you mean you just clicked ?
01:06:11Arlene, we are not going to get anywhere
01:06:14by attacking each other.
01:06:15Sala, please continue.
01:06:17By the way, you're fired.
01:06:19Well, I'm a Buddhist, and, you know,
01:06:23both of our religions were born out of struggle,
01:06:25so we both place emphasis on family, education,
01:06:30and hard work.
01:06:32And the intense pressure that Adam feels
01:06:34to marry within his people
01:06:35is the same pressure I feel to marry a Mongolian,
01:06:38so it's no wonder why we're able to connect.
01:06:41For 43 grand, you could have connected
01:06:44with every chick in Mongolia !
01:06:46Okay, Sala, hypothetically speaking,
01:06:51if you two were to stay together and get married,
01:06:57how would you raise your children ?
01:06:59Mom, do we have to get into this right now ?
01:07:01Isn't that what this is for ?
01:07:02Okay, well, the truth is...
01:07:03The truth is ?
01:07:04The truth is ?
01:07:05The truth is ?
01:07:06What's the truth, Adam ?
01:07:07The truth is I don't know
01:07:08if I want to raise my kids Jewish !
01:07:13Oh, shit.
01:07:14Jesus, who are you ?
01:07:18Was I not a good mother to you ?
01:07:22When you were in kindergarten
01:07:23and you wanted the little trampoline
01:07:24that could poke your eye out ?
01:07:26Who got you the trampoline
01:07:27that could poke your eye out ?
01:07:29I did.
01:07:30And when you were in fifth grade,
01:07:32and you wanted to take karate lessons in Chinatown,
01:07:35who drove you there three nights a week
01:07:37and sat in the parking lot, all alone, in the dark ?
01:07:41I did.
01:07:43Okay.
01:07:44And do you know why ?
01:07:45Because you're my son.
01:07:49And I love you.
01:07:53And how do you show your love for me ?
01:07:56Well...
01:07:57You have style sex with your Mongolian therapist
01:08:00on your wedding day !
01:08:02And then you say to me,
01:08:04Hey, Mom, I'm not sure if I want to raise my kids Jewish !
01:08:10Oh, Adam, that's fine !
01:08:12That's fine !
01:08:13Just...
01:08:14Just save the knife !
01:08:15Just save the knife and kill me, Adam !
01:08:17Just save it right now !
01:08:18Mom, stop it !
01:08:19Oh !
01:08:24Okay, Adam, so you're saying that our entire time together meant nothing to you ?
01:08:29We never hit you !
01:08:30We never fondled you !
01:08:31I got liberty can you for you !
01:08:34Honey, honey, I think we dodged a bullet.
01:08:36Yeah, she seems nice.
01:08:38I mean, you better get a good lawyer, freak boy,
01:08:40because I'm suing your ass off !
01:08:42Okay, this !
01:08:44This !
01:08:45Right here !
01:08:46You wanna know why I went nuts ?
01:08:49It's because all of you are nuts !
01:08:52And I'm sorry that I can't marry you !
01:08:54But it's better that we end this right now,
01:08:56rather than dragging this on for a long fucking time !
01:09:00And, Mom, I'm sorry that you had to do things that you didn't want to do !
01:09:05But you know what ?
01:09:06So did I !
01:09:07I joined the family business and became the embroidery prince !
01:09:11Well, how happy can a man be ?
01:09:13And to top it off,
01:09:14I've never dated a woman who wasn't Jewish my entire life !
01:09:17Well, you know what ?
01:09:18I'm not doing things for you guys anymore, huh ?
01:09:21I'm doing things for me !
01:09:22Because I love Salah !
01:09:24Salah !
01:09:25And she's Mongolian !
01:09:27And that's pretty cool !
01:09:31I love you, too !
01:09:32Oh, God !
01:09:35Are you gonna be paying by cash or check ?
01:09:38With this technique, the thematic skin is allowed to stay intact !
01:09:44And finally, the Neocrossing Crush !
01:09:47By using the Terra Clamp, the skin is crushed for around 10 days,
01:09:51until it suffocates and dies !
01:09:54With this technique, the skin bonds !
01:09:56Tough, though !
01:09:57Yeah !
01:09:58I mean, you gotta love the dorsal slit !
01:09:59Right ?
01:10:00Because the thematic skin stays intact !
01:10:01But on the other hand, with the sleeve resection,
01:10:03I got the widest variety of scarring options !
01:10:06What do you think ?
01:10:07Honestly, I'm kinda partial to the temporary crush !
01:10:10You know, you get all the benefits of the sleeve resection,
01:10:12but you get that pump action of the agamgo device there !
01:10:15Yeah, yeah !
01:10:16Plus, it reduces your shmegma by like 75% !
01:10:19It does ?
01:10:20Yeah !
01:10:21Done !
01:10:22Sold !
01:10:23Going with the temporary crush, boy !
01:10:25Knock, knock !
01:10:26Snip, snip time, Mr. O'Connell !
01:10:28Oh !
01:10:30Here we go !
01:10:32Is this your life partner ?
01:10:33Who ?
01:10:34No !
01:10:35No, no, no, no !
01:10:36No life partnering here !
01:10:37No, that would be weird !
01:10:38Okay !
01:10:39Not that that's weird at all !
01:10:40Okay, Mr. O'Connell !
01:10:41So, me going to turn this little knobby here on !
01:10:44And you're going to just slowly drift away !
01:10:47Me want you to breathe, relax, enjoy it !
01:10:53Breathing, breathing !
01:10:55I'm scared !
01:10:56You have nothing to be afraid of, boy !
01:10:58Nurse Boo is going to sing you a little ditty and make you feel all better !
01:11:02Oh !
01:11:03When I was only eight days old !
01:11:05Hurrah !
01:11:06Hurrah !
01:11:07A billy billy billy bum !
01:11:08When I was only eight days old !
01:11:10Hurrah !
01:11:11Hurrah !
01:11:12A billy billy billy !
01:11:13The boy who came with his big knife !
01:11:15I thought he was going to take my life !
01:11:17But he only took a little bit off the top !
01:11:21A little bit off the top !
01:11:23Top, top !
01:11:24A little bit off the top !
01:11:25Top !
01:11:27Top !
01:11:28Cool !
01:11:29Okay !
01:11:30Okay !
01:11:31She was taking a little off the top !
01:11:32Easy there, Mr. O'Connell !
01:11:34Next time !
01:11:36Don't trust your circumcision to an HMO !
01:11:47I think she's nice !
01:11:48I just, I can't believe that you're doing all of this just so you don't have to make any more decisions !
01:11:53Oh, Adam, you don't get it !
01:11:56All those things that you say drive you crazy !
01:11:58I love !
01:11:59I love that your parents smother you !
01:12:01I, I love that if they hear about a, a tornado in Kansas, they call you !
01:12:06Even though you live in Los Angeles !
01:12:08Yeah, we're very nervous people !
01:12:10And I love the fact that you email each other your itineraries !
01:12:13Because, because you never know, you know ?
01:12:17No !
01:12:18You never know !
01:12:20Never know !
01:12:21And for the past 5,000 years, every civilization, every culture has tried to have you guys annihilated !
01:12:27Yeah, we are not liked !
01:12:28I like you !
01:12:29We like, you're getting the !
01:12:30It's gonna all make sense now !
01:12:32Muhammad Al-Sheikh Al-Sheen Al-Sheikh is up here !
01:12:36Now he's gonna come up here !
01:12:38And then we got Muhammad Al-Sheikh !
01:12:40Muhammad Ali !
01:12:41No !
01:12:42I don't know !
01:12:43Stop that !
01:12:45McConnell here !
01:12:46Speak up !
01:12:47Hi, Daddy ! It's your son Christian !
01:12:48What you doing ?
01:12:49I'm in Tahiti !
01:12:50Having myself a Mai Tai !
01:12:51What the hell do you think I'm doing ?
01:12:53Fighting terrorists ?
01:12:54Spreading democracy ?
01:12:56Yeah !
01:12:57Dad, guess what I'm doing ?
01:12:58Oh, I'm here with Adam Lipschitz !
01:12:59You remember him ?
01:13:00Adam Lipschitz ?
01:13:01Didn't I order you to stay away from that boy ?
01:13:03No, Daddy, we're life partners !
01:13:05Sir, that's inaccurate, sir !
01:13:07Life partners ?
01:13:08Now, what the hell is life partners ?
01:13:09Life partners ?
01:13:10She's a homo, Dad !
01:13:11What ?
01:13:12I call her the what ?
01:13:13A homo ?
01:13:14Yeah, we're here at the hospital, you know ?
01:13:15Cause I...
01:13:16He's with me, so we...
01:13:17I can get circum... circumcised, sir !
01:13:19What ?
01:13:20Not for me, Daddy !
01:13:21Circumcised !
01:13:22Circumcised ?
01:13:23Yeah, so I can be a Jew, Daddy !
01:13:24You can be a... a Jew ?
01:13:26Daddy, I wanna tell you something, too !
01:13:27Because I don't think I've ever told you this before !
01:13:29We never say this, but...
01:13:30I love you, Daddy !
01:13:32I love you !
01:13:33Hi !
01:13:35Ow !
01:13:36Sorry !
01:13:37You know, I'm glad we're hanging out again, but I...
01:13:39I kinda feel like something's missing !
01:13:42A little bit off the top !
01:13:43Top !
01:13:44Top !
01:13:45Top !
01:13:51Alison ?
01:13:55Wanna have sex ?
01:13:56Not really...
01:13:59Not really...
01:14:02Ah !
01:14:03Clear right !
01:14:04Clear right !
01:14:05Didn't I order you to keep your son away from my son ?
01:14:09Excuse me ?
01:14:10Don't you play dumb with me ?
01:14:13Shit lives !
01:14:14Buck O'Connell ?
01:14:15Oh !
01:14:16Jeez !
01:14:17Your Adam has turned my Christian into some gay Jew !
01:14:22Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa !
01:14:24Buck !
01:14:25Slow down !
01:14:26What are you talking about ?
01:14:27They're...
01:14:28Live...
01:14:29Partners !
01:14:30Live...
01:14:31Partners !
01:14:32Wait, wait, wait, wait !
01:14:33What makes you think this ?
01:14:35He called and told me...
01:14:37While he was in hospital with your Adam...
01:14:40That he...
01:14:42Was about to get his package up so they could be gay...
01:14:46Jews...
01:14:47Together !
01:14:48And then he told me...
01:14:50Dad, I love you !
01:14:52What the hell is going on ?
01:14:55Huh ?
01:14:56Oh, Dennis !
01:14:57We pushed him too far !
01:14:58And he snapped !
01:15:00With all the pressure that we put on him to marry a Jewish girl !
01:15:03The Asian wasn't enough !
01:15:04And he...
01:15:05He went the other way !
01:15:08Okay, Buck, first of all...
01:15:11You look fantastic !
01:15:12Whoa !
01:15:13Hey, hey, hey !
01:15:14Whoa !
01:15:15Second of all...
01:15:16I mean, I'm having a hard time believing any of this !
01:15:18Oh, yeah ?
01:15:19Now, where's your boy ?
01:15:20Right now !
01:15:22Buddy, I'm so happy you're here !
01:15:24And now you're helping me with this !
01:15:25I don't know what I would do without you !
01:15:26You really need me to do this again ?
01:15:28I gotta be honest !
01:15:29I don't know if I can get through another...
01:15:30Gauze pass !
01:15:31And how many times a day do you have to do it ?
01:15:33Oh !
01:15:34Really, I can't do this myself !
01:15:35Please come and do it !
01:15:36God !
01:15:37Come on, just help me !
01:15:38Okay !
01:15:39Come here !
01:15:40Put some of that jelly on it and let's get going !
01:15:42Hold on !
01:15:43Hold on !
01:15:44Hold on !
01:15:45Drop !
01:15:46The petroleum jelly !
01:15:48And back away from my son's anus !
01:15:51Holy !
01:15:53I knew it !
01:15:54Don't shoot him, Dad !
01:15:55Mom ?
01:15:56Adam !
01:15:57Damn it, Adam !
01:15:58Jelly's for toast !
01:15:59I'm not a Jew !
01:16:00And I'm not a doctor !
01:16:01And my name is not Avi Rosenberg !
01:16:02Well then, who the hell are you ?
01:16:03I'm Christian Thaddeus Reginald MacArthur O'Connell !
01:16:05I'm a plumber !
01:16:06Look, when I met you at the mixer, I begged my friend Adam here !
01:16:07To help me pass myself off as a Jew !
01:16:08So that you'd be able to date me !
01:16:09P***ing club !
01:16:10Allison, how's it going ?
01:16:11Marcie !
01:16:12Don't you even look at me !
01:16:13Rabbi, I'm so sorry !
01:16:14You P***ing club !
01:16:15Before Adam came out, I'm so sorry !
01:16:16You P***ing club !
01:16:17Before Adam came along, I watched NASCAR !
01:16:18And I had the heads of dead animals that I'd hunted and killed myself on my wall !
01:16:21And I had no idea that when you order a salad at a restaurant , you can order the dressing on the side !
01:16:38Let alone custom-create your own dishes off the menu !
01:16:41Hell are you talking about ? I fed you C's a salad !
01:16:43Jews can custom-create their own dishes off the menu !
01:16:46C'est bon, c'est bon, c'est bon, c'est bon.
01:17:16C'est bon, c'est bon, c'est bon.
01:17:46So I'm just supposed to forget about everything you just said because you love me?
01:17:51Yes, please.
01:17:54Son, stop this hollering and just propose to the girl.
01:17:59Don't put the tongue in.
01:18:00Well, that haircut is awful, so let me make an appointment for you with my guy because
01:18:09he's the best.
01:18:11I should take that as a yes, huh?
01:18:13Yes.
01:18:14I'll take that as a yes.
01:18:16Aw, Shlomi, we've got a plumber.
01:18:18Christian Thaddeus Reginald MacArthur O'Connell.
01:18:22Rosenberg.
01:18:23Now that's a nice Jewish name.
01:18:25We are so thrilled that you finally decided to come on a moose hunt with us.
01:18:33I can't wait to kill me a ten-pointer.
01:18:35I'm going to skin him and gut him and pull out his rectum.
01:18:38Nobody is pulling out anybody's rectum here.
01:18:40That's what they do.
01:18:41No, no, listen to me, Shlomi.
01:18:42That would be a disgusting thing to do.
01:18:44Think of it.
01:18:44You could be more of it.
01:18:45E. coli.
01:18:45You could get bacterium.
01:18:47There are no wipes here that I can see.
01:18:49Shut up!
01:18:50Stop the convection.
01:18:54Mercy.
01:18:54Yarmulkeman.
01:18:55Take a knee.
01:18:56Knee.
01:18:59Cramp.
01:19:00Careful.
01:19:01Not like that.
01:19:02For God's sake.
01:19:05I remember when my father took me out for my first hunt.
01:19:10We all fall flat crazy over who's going to be the lucky one to pull out that rectum.
01:19:15Uh, that's what they do?
01:19:17Oh, thank you.
01:19:18Nog, baby.
01:19:18Damn right.
01:19:20Nog, baby.
01:19:21Aw, daddy loves mama's nog.
01:19:25Nog, baby.
01:19:26I'm not really much of a nog guy.
01:19:28You know, the dairy kind of makes my acid reflux kick in,
01:19:32and I'm not even sure if the eggs are cage-free,
01:19:34so I don't feel safe.
01:19:35One sip won't kill me, I guess.
01:19:38Nog, baby.
01:19:40Oh, yeah.
01:19:47Oh, yeah!
01:19:53Narnatang and Jibai Net, whatever,
01:19:58my wife and I, we want to thank you for your hospitality
01:20:00and for these beautiful hats.
01:20:02Oh, my father says it's an honor to have you as part of our family,
01:20:10and they've learned a great deal of wisdom from all of you this week.
01:20:13Thank you.
01:20:14Thank you.
01:20:15Gurutasul, Shula, Marmot.
01:20:17Oh, my mother said you're going to love the fried marmot.
01:20:19It's a speciality.
01:20:20Oh, Dennis, did you hear that?
01:20:22We're going to have fried marmot.
01:20:23Hooray.
01:20:24We discuss at home.
01:20:25I can have fried food once every few months.
01:20:27I'm not saying that you shouldn't have fried food.
01:20:30Well, then what are you saying?
01:20:31Let's just eat it.
01:20:32Oh, maybe a little Mongolian barbecue or something, right?
01:20:34That could be okay.
01:20:35Let's eat what they order.
01:20:38Why?
01:20:38Is it kosher?
01:20:39I don't know.
01:20:40You're not even kosher.
01:20:42Why do you care?
01:20:42I had a dream where I saw everyone with a smile on my face.
01:21:02Oh, I had a dream of a day when our love took the place of our lady.
01:21:10I was depressed.
01:21:20I was self-conscious.
01:21:22I realized that my God-given **** wasn't the vag I wanted God to give me.
01:21:28Hi, I'm Dr. Bill Ginsberg, founder of A-Beautiful.
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01:21:59In fact, I was such a satisfied client that I became one of the doctors here.
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01:22:10Gift yourself the vag that you deserve.
01:22:13Don't let your labia interfere with your life.
01:22:15Call now.
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01:22:19Oh, sweet love, there were peace and harmony.
01:22:28Oh, sweet love, peace and harmony.
01:22:34Oh, sweet love, there were peace and harmony.
01:22:47Jesus and Moses singing gospel all together now.
01:22:51Oh, sweet love, peace and harmony.
01:22:57Oh, sweet love, peace and harmony.
01:23:05Oh, Jews and Asians walking hand in hand.
01:23:10Smoking sixes with a Jewish man.
01:23:13Smoking sixes with a Jewish man.
01:23:14Even Moses got a land of hand.
01:23:17Smoking sixes with a Jewish man.
01:23:18I'm thinking love.
01:23:19I'm thinking love.
01:23:19But you love, so love.
01:23:21I had a dream.
01:23:24Where I saw every Jew paying me till you're free.
01:23:28I had a dream.
01:23:31Where I saw every gentile of a drinking on the side.
01:23:35When you want, sweet love, there was peace and harmony.
01:23:42I want to tell you where it was.
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