Osiris (Linda Hamilton) (REVIEW) | Projector Shorts | Aliens meets Predator minus the fun - video Dailymotion

Film Brain

Film Brain reviews this knockoff that combines Aliens and Predator, but even solidifies its affection for James Cameron by getting Linda Hamilton into the mix. Unfortunately, it misses what made those films special. Or enjoyable.

Transcript

00:00Ever wonder what it'd be like if Sarah Connor was in Aliens?

00:03Well, you sort of get your wish in Osiris.

00:06Max Martini leads a group of Special Forces soldiers

00:09who get beamed onto an alien spaceship.

00:11They soon realise they're being hunted

00:13and eventually team up with Linda Hamilton's Russian tank commander

00:16and her daughter, Brianna Hildebrand,

00:18to fight the aliens and maybe find a way off the ship.

00:22Directed and co-written by prolific direct-to-video action helmer,

00:25William Kaufman, whose credits include Jarhead 3 and The Marine 4,

00:29Osiris is so absolutely unabashed

00:31and basically being a mash-up of aliens and Predator

00:34that it often plays like an unofficial fan film at times.

00:37Kaufman even lifts some bits wholesale,

00:39such as someone climbing through ventilation ducts like Bishop

00:42or, most glaringly, they find a room full of corpses

00:45hanging from the ceiling.

00:47Even the aliens look like a mash-up between the two creatures,

00:50snarling like Xenomorphs or having linebacker builds like Predators

00:54and a pleasingly practical blokes in suits.

00:57The biggest and most obvious James Cameron homage

00:59is in stunt casting Terminator star Linda Hamilton

01:02in what basically amounts to an extended cameo.

01:06She might be super prominent in the artwork,

01:08but Hamilton doesn't appear until an hour in,

01:10where she delivers a big exposition dump.

01:13Her Russian commander, who has fought for decades on this ship,

01:16and Deadpool star Hildebrand as her daughter,

01:18who has barely known life outside of it,

01:20are the two most interesting characters,

01:22and I wish Hamilton was in this more than she is.

01:25But Aliens knockoffs a dime a dozen,

01:27and for all its worship of that movie,

01:29Osiris is missing its real secret source,

01:32which is its characterization.

01:34Every character in Aliens is merrible and quotable,

01:37and the ones here most certainly are not.

01:39I could tell characterization was a very low priority

01:42when the film opens with an overlong firefight

01:44in some unspecific Middle Eastern country like it's 2007.

01:48You can hardly tell the soldiers apart

01:50as they scream and yell things like,

01:51cover and going hard.

01:54The only way you can tell Max Martini is the main character

01:56is because he carries around a photo of his daughter.

01:59Wow, how exciting.

02:02And probably another Aliens homage while we're at it.

02:05The only one who stands out is Hudson clone Nash,

02:07plumber Linz Edward,

02:09reimagined as a Bible belter who says things like,

02:11I believe in Jesus Christ and Dalaparton.

02:14And the vast majority of the film is these generic grunts,

02:17ultimately walking and shooting down endless dimly lit corridors

02:21with blue teal highlights ubiquitous with cheap sci-fi films

02:25where they've probably turned off the lights

02:26to hide the fact they're going down the same corridor over and over.

02:30It's like watching the Hive Ambush scene

02:32if you drained it of any fun, tension or interest

02:34and stretched it to 107 very dull minutes.

02:38I found Osiris a grind to sit through,

02:41and this isn't sub-Aliens.

02:42The execution here is sub-Doom.

02:45Game over, man.

02:47Game over!

Osiris (Linda Hamilton) (REVIEW) | Projector Shorts | Aliens meets Predator minus the fun

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