- 6 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
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00:01:08But we live in a permissive society.
00:01:10Not on this street, we don't.
00:01:12Everybody's at it.
00:01:14Not with me, they're not.
00:01:16Girls are supposed to be crying out for it.
00:01:18Not this one.
00:01:20I'm the silent majority.
00:01:22It's only manners these days.
00:01:24Total strangers do it now instead of shaking hands.
00:01:26God is Lord.
00:01:30Jesus.
00:01:31Jesus.
00:01:32We've never seen him in real life though.
00:01:58No, he's picturing the papers.
00:02:01Oh, come on, Sandra, let's go.
00:02:03No, I don't want to.
00:02:04I want to wait.
00:02:05I want to be standing out here.
00:02:05It's stupid.
00:02:06But he might come in a minute.
00:02:08Somebody waited ages yesterday and he never turned up there.
00:02:10But that was yesterday.
00:02:11He might be here today.
00:02:12I want to be really done standing here.
00:02:14Come on.
00:02:14I want to be supposed to be going shopping.
00:02:16But he might come.
00:02:17Please, let's go.
00:02:22Oh, no.
00:02:23I told you so, didn't I?
00:02:25I feel a right twit now.
00:02:27I don't fancy yours.
00:02:30Which is mine?
00:02:32Any except the blonde.
00:02:34Oh, good.
00:02:36They were being stared at.
00:02:38Where?
00:02:41Don't fancy yours.
00:02:43Which is mine.
00:02:47Any except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs?
00:02:52Thanks.
00:02:54Neither do I.
00:02:56Fancy the one with the twitch.
00:03:00About as much as Mountsy-Tung's granddad, with all due respect.
00:03:04To his granddad.
00:03:06Ask him if they do a turn.
00:03:08You.
00:03:09I thought we were giving sex up.
00:03:11There's a protest at never getting any.
00:03:14Ignore them.
00:03:22Hi.
00:03:24Hi.
00:03:26Hi.
00:03:27Hi.
00:03:33Peace, ma'am.
00:03:34Were you, er, hoping to see Georgie Best?
00:03:37He's in Mallorca.
00:03:39Come on, then.
00:03:41We only get an hour for lunch.
00:03:44It's a discotheque in Albert Square.
00:03:52Come on.
00:03:54I thought we were going for tights.
00:03:58It's our lunch hour.
00:04:01It's ours.
00:04:02We were going for lunch.
00:04:03Shall I tell you something pretty mind-blowing about Mallorca?
00:04:12It's one place I've never been.
00:04:15Pardon?
00:04:17I'm, er, Geoffrey.
00:04:20I don't happen to be attached.
00:04:22I'm Beryl.
00:04:23I don't happen to be surprised.
00:04:25Don't you worry, love and rainy weather may sound funny, but they go together fine.
00:04:52Every single time.
00:04:54Every single time.
00:04:59Love and rainy weather.
00:05:01First you're up there.
00:05:03On another plane.
00:05:05And then you're nowhere.
00:05:07And the tears are raining down.
00:05:09It's a run around.
00:05:13It's a run around.
00:05:18Love and rainy weather.
00:05:24Sure can get you down.
00:05:31Not going twisting tonight, then?
00:05:33That's the modern name for it, isn't it?
00:05:34What?
00:05:35Cutting a rug.
00:05:36Pardon?
00:05:37Grooving, Mildred.
00:05:38It's called grooving nowadays.
00:05:39Grooving and or freaking.
00:05:40Right?
00:05:41What I'm not doing tonight.
00:05:42Right.
00:05:43Right on.
00:05:44You're staying in tonight, then?
00:05:45Tonight.
00:05:46Tomorrow night.
00:05:47Every night.
00:05:48You might sell me overcoat.
00:05:49Life's not all pleasure, you know.
00:05:50Really.
00:05:51Mildred, don't hassle the lad.
00:05:52Hassle.
00:05:53It's a different world today, Mildred.
00:05:55We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this finny haddy cost.
00:05:56They do their own thing.
00:05:57The usual 1,300 weight.
00:05:58Yes, please.
00:05:59Now, that's the new work.
00:06:00You're staying in tonight, then?
00:06:01You're staying in tonight, then?
00:06:02Tonight.
00:06:03Tomorrow night.
00:06:04Tomorrow night.
00:06:05Every night.
00:06:06They might sell me overcoat.
00:06:07Life's not all pleasure, you know.
00:06:08Really.
00:06:09Mildred, don't hassle the lad.
00:06:10Hustle.
00:06:11It's a different world today, Mildred.
00:06:13We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this finny haddy cost.
00:06:16They do their own thing.
00:06:18The usual 1,300 weight.
00:06:21Yes, please.
00:06:22Now, that's the new world that we work for.
00:06:26And fought for.
00:06:28Full page advert for contraception.
00:06:30It's his birthright.
00:06:34I'm not hungry.
00:06:36What's that supposed to mean?
00:06:38It's the hip way cool people say I'm not hungry.
00:06:52No, no, no, no.
00:06:59I enjoy staying in Chattingham an evening.
00:07:03I find it fantastically enjoyable.
00:07:05No, really.
00:07:06I really do.
00:07:08Some people don't.
00:07:12I do.
00:07:13Beryl, please take my word for it.
00:07:15Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell
00:07:17and invite you to the pictures.
00:07:19Paul McCartney who?
00:07:20He doesn't know you've been faithful to him ever since our day's night.
00:07:23And please don't say Paul McCartney who.
00:07:26I sacrificed too much for your six-o levels.
00:07:28Five.
00:07:29You were terrific in the pictures.
00:07:32I never touched you.
00:07:34Terrific self-control.
00:07:36No.
00:07:41What did you say your name was?
00:08:02Mind you, just a weekend I do with you, Paul.
00:08:04Not a dirty weekend.
00:08:08A disgusting one.
00:08:13Night-night, Percy Filth.
00:08:23Have you always been insatiable?
00:08:27It's not my fault.
00:08:29It's just that I don't like blondes.
00:08:31It's-it's psychosomatic.
00:08:40I'm sorry.
00:08:45Ah.
00:09:01Oh, Sandra.
00:09:02There is almost blonde in this light.
00:09:11What's wrong?
00:09:13Just being brave.
00:09:15What about?
00:09:17Ending it all.
00:09:19Before we hurt each other too much.
00:09:22It's our first date.
00:09:23I've probably wasted your entire evening, haven't I?
00:09:27Not yet.
00:09:28Not if your parents aren't back till midnight.
00:09:33Don't you think you're too old for this sort of thing?
00:09:38Straight from Stanley Matthews to Bridget Bardot you went.
00:09:40Overnight.
00:09:42That was when you were too young for this sort of thing.
00:09:43It's artistic, Mother.
00:09:44Like your Tutankhamen butter dish.
00:09:45What?
00:09:46Got it.
00:09:47Got what?
00:09:49You now ask if I never want to see you again. I say I do.
00:09:55You then stop crying quick as a flash and say something like,
00:09:59how about Sunday, half seven outside central library?
00:10:00No, I don't.
00:10:02Tomorrow, half seven outside central library.
00:10:04Then when I say okay, does your zip miraculously undo?
00:10:08It does not.
00:10:10Well, it does not.
00:10:11I don't.
00:10:14What did you say?
00:10:15Half seven outside Central Library. No, I don't.
00:10:18Tomorrow, half seven outside Central Library.
00:10:22Then when I say OK, does your zip miraculously undo?
00:10:26It does not.
00:10:28I thought it did.
00:10:30Not till you've unfastened the press stud.
00:10:35I can see her doing your ironing and cooking and cleaning.
00:10:39You wouldn't need to book for the Christmas pantomime.
00:10:42In case it interferes with my career.
00:10:46We're just good friends. Good night.
00:11:02Miss Bardot.
00:11:05Marry me.
00:11:09You know what they say?
00:11:11Once you've had a Manchester lad, you never touch anything else.
00:11:14Marry me.
00:11:16Marry me.
00:11:18Marry me.
00:11:20Marry me.
00:11:22Marry me.
00:11:24Marry me.
00:11:26Marry me.
00:11:28Marry me.
00:11:29About time and all.
00:11:30Aye.
00:11:31Aye.
00:11:32Peace, man.
00:11:33Marry me.
00:11:34Marry me.
00:11:35Did you have a good time last night?
00:11:37Hooray.
00:11:38Did you?
00:11:39Satisfied.
00:11:40I saved him for a change.
00:11:43Did you get much?
00:11:46Did you?
00:11:51Did you know that raping Princess Anne was a capital offence?
00:11:53Not that I have done.
00:11:54Played him for a change instead.
00:11:58Ticket.
00:12:01I ain't got my ticket.
00:12:03Ticket. I ain't got me ticket.
00:12:20We're late already. See you behind the goal then.
00:12:33Well, tonight's beauty sleep's done nothing for her, snooty old bag.
00:12:47Trendy. Crimson shoes with bottle green socks. Must be going steady with a set of traffic lights.
00:12:57Still, who else would have him?
00:13:00Anyway, they're all the same in the dark. Rumour has it.
00:13:10Different girl every night. It's all the type.
00:13:14Probably an omen seeing her before the match. I bet we lose 3-1.
00:13:20Well, I'm certainly not making the first move. At least I've got me proud.
00:13:25Oh, hello.
00:13:27Oh, hi.
00:13:29Hi.
00:13:30Didn't see you.
00:13:31No, Normie.
00:13:33Are you going that way?
00:13:35Yeah. Not specially, no.
00:13:38Are you going that?
00:13:40Yeah, well, um, no. I was sort of...
00:13:44Going to the football match?
00:13:45Are you?
00:13:46Shopping.
00:13:53I'm probably going to the pictures tonight.
00:13:55I am.
00:13:56Which?
00:13:56Which are you?
00:13:57Any.
00:13:58I am.
00:14:06See you then.
00:14:07Tonight?
00:14:08Pardon?
00:14:09Oh, I...
00:14:10All right, then.
00:14:11Right.
00:14:19Super socks.
00:14:20Did you see that?
00:14:26They're all on drugs.
00:14:27The lot of them.
00:14:28Then...
00:14:48How much score?
00:14:50Excuse me, I...
00:15:20I only go to restaurants with deaf waiters.
00:15:25Ah.
00:15:28Hi.
00:15:30Hello, mate.
00:15:32Peace man.
00:15:34Surprise, surprise.
00:15:36Is it anywhere controversial?
00:15:38Pictures.
00:15:39Boyfriend.
00:15:40She's slim.
00:15:41I'm just going to the...
00:15:42Oh, I'll come with you.
00:15:45Are you and Beryl, um...
00:15:48You know.
00:15:51You know.
00:15:53Oh.
00:16:03Would you, uh...
00:16:05What do you sort of reckon?
00:16:06She's a...
00:16:08Fair sort of bird.
00:16:10Sort of.
00:16:12She's all right.
00:16:13Yeah.
00:16:14I mean, nothing sensational, obviously.
00:16:17Geoffrey.
00:16:18She's a bird.
00:16:19You having a coffee with us?
00:16:21No thanks, kid.
00:16:22Neville's ravenous.
00:16:23You've just eaten.
00:16:24Oh, of course, yeah.
00:16:25Sorry.
00:16:26You see, what I thought Ken was always trying to do...
00:16:39By implication.
00:16:40Probably by implication.
00:16:41Was to allow the images to provoke a moral response from our own aesthetic judgement.
00:16:46You see?
00:16:47Yes.
00:16:48Was he the errand boy?
00:16:49Was who the errand boy?
00:16:50Ken Thingy.
00:16:51He directed it.
00:16:52Oh, yes.
00:16:53I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol.
00:16:54Probably.
00:16:55You're not like other boys at all, are you?
00:16:56Well, probably a little more mature, that's all.
00:16:57It's over 200 yards from the cinema.
00:16:58And you talk to me the whole way, like a person.
00:17:04Other boys seem to have one-track minds these days.
00:17:08Sex.
00:17:09Marriage.
00:17:10Oh, yes.
00:17:11I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol.
00:17:12Probably.
00:17:13You're not like other boys at all, are you?
00:17:14Well, probably a little more mature, that's all.
00:17:15It's over 200 yards from the cinema.
00:17:16And you talk to me the whole way, like a person.
00:17:19Other boys seem to have one-track minds these days.
00:17:23Sex.
00:17:24Marriage.
00:17:25Pardon?
00:17:26The number of boys that asked me to marry them.
00:17:27A couple of dates and pal they want to get married.
00:17:32I want to live a bit before I get married.
00:17:36I suppose I just don't have a hang-up about it.
00:17:39Get married?
00:17:40Hmm.
00:17:41No.
00:17:46Actually, I find girls, most girls, a bit obsessed these days.
00:17:54Sex.
00:17:55Not marriage.
00:17:56No.
00:17:57Sex.
00:17:58Percy Filth.
00:17:59Sex.
00:18:00That's what I said.
00:18:01Oh.
00:18:02Well, I'm not like that.
00:18:03Not Percy Filth motivated?
00:18:04No.
00:18:05No.
00:18:06No.
00:18:07No.
00:18:08No.
00:18:09No.
00:18:10No.
00:18:11No.
00:18:12No.
00:18:13No.
00:18:14No.
00:18:27Did you want to say any more about Andy Warhol?
00:18:29Ken Russell?
00:18:30Yeah.
00:18:31No.
00:18:32No.
00:18:38This is it.
00:18:39This is it.
00:18:40I won't come in with it being our first date.
00:18:54No.
00:18:55Oh.
00:18:56Anywhere my mum's gone to bed, we'd be on our own.
00:18:59Is that a reason for me not coming in, though?
00:19:02Yes, Geoffrey.
00:19:04Oh.
00:19:13Nice house.
00:19:15Twenty-five year mortgage.
00:19:23Well, thanks for seeing me home.
00:19:27Funny, isn't it?
00:19:29First date with someone.
00:19:31It always leads to one of three things.
00:19:34Either nothing.
00:19:36Or something.
00:19:40Or everything.
00:19:41Well, don't think about Percy Filth at this stage, Beryl.
00:19:46You're not.
00:19:48No, I'm not.
00:19:51Night-night. God bless.
00:20:04I won't give you my phone number in case you think I'm one of those scheming females.
00:20:08What is it?
00:20:09Three, two, seven, double, four, two, one.
00:20:11The easy way to remember it is the three and the two make five, which is two less than seven,
00:20:15then two fours, and half of four, which is two, and half of two, which is one.
00:20:19Um...
00:20:20But you mustn't ring me if you don't want.
00:20:21No.
00:20:22But you can if you do.
00:20:24Do you want me to?
00:20:25Not if you'd rather not.
00:20:27Three, two, seven, double, four, two, one.
00:20:29Night.
00:20:39Well, hello, Mrs. Battersby. Beryl's brought you up a cup of tea.
00:20:51Oh, they all have a past life flashed before me then.
00:20:54Can't be Mother's Day. You'd have forgotten.
00:20:57Has there been any clips?
00:20:58Mom, I want the benefit of your experience.
00:21:00What do you think of Andy Warhol?
00:21:02You see, Geoffrey has this theory that by implication...
00:21:03Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:04Of course, Geoffrey knows about these things.
00:21:05Oh, these things.
00:21:06Oh, they all have a past life flashed before me then.
00:21:09Can't be Mother's Day.
00:21:11You'd have forgotten.
00:21:12Has there been any clips?
00:21:13Mom, I want the benefit of your experience.
00:21:17What do you think of Andy Warhol?
00:21:19You see, Geoffrey has this theory that by implication...
00:21:22Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:23Of course, Geoffrey knows about these things.
00:21:24Oh, these things.
00:21:25Everything.
00:21:26Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:27He's fantastically intelligent.
00:21:28See, Geoffrey's idea...
00:21:29Bella, who's Geoffrey?
00:21:30Oh, no-one.
00:21:31No-one's special.
00:21:33His name's Geoffrey.
00:21:34How did this Beryl Bird turn out last night, then?
00:21:35What a Beryl Bird.
00:21:36What a Beryl Bird.
00:21:37I told him.
00:21:38Did she, er...
00:21:39Did she, er...
00:21:40Did she, er...
00:21:41Did she, er...
00:21:42Did she, er...
00:21:43Did she, er...
00:21:44Did she, er...
00:21:45Do you see Geoffrey?
00:21:46See, Geoffrey's idea...
00:21:47Is Geoffrey's idea...
00:21:48Beryl, who's Geoffrey?
00:21:49Oh, no-one.
00:21:50No-one's special.
00:21:51His name's Geoffrey.
00:21:52No-one's special.
00:21:53His name's Geoffrey.
00:21:54How did this Beryl Bird turn out last night, then?
00:21:57What a Beryl Bird.
00:21:58I told him.
00:21:59Did she, er...
00:22:00Did she, er...
00:22:01Did she, er...
00:22:02What?
00:22:03Wow!
00:22:04She doesn't, then.
00:22:05You don't listen, do you?
00:22:06I said...
00:22:07How about Sandra?
00:22:08Chips.
00:22:09Jams.
00:22:10Sod.
00:22:11Not seen him tonight, then.
00:22:12Who?
00:22:13Who?
00:22:14Who?
00:22:15Who?
00:22:16Who?
00:22:17Who?
00:22:18Who?
00:22:19She doesn't, then.
00:22:20She doesn't, then.
00:22:21You don't listen, do you?
00:22:22I said...
00:22:23How about Sandra?
00:22:26Chips.
00:22:27Chips.
00:22:28Jams.
00:22:29Sod.
00:22:34Not seen him tonight, then.
00:22:40Who?
00:22:43I've rather better things to do, thank you.
00:22:55Said he was no-one special.
00:22:58Have they got a phone here?
00:23:01Why?
00:23:03They haven't, have they?
00:23:05Do you want to get some nookie lined up or something?
00:23:08If I did, do you think I'd be playing darts with you two?
00:23:11Look, are you fed up here?
00:23:13Are you?
00:23:14No.
00:23:15We'll split after this game.
00:23:16Anything you say.
00:23:17We can go for a few of the King's Ed.
00:23:19Great.
00:23:21And that ends our pro...
00:23:23Well, Monday tomorrow.
00:23:25Hallelujah.
00:23:26Pardon?
00:23:28I don't know what you're paying for that phone, but whatever it is, you're being done.
00:23:32Good night.
00:23:33Good morning.
00:23:37Good morning.
00:23:38Good morning.
00:24:01Good morning.
00:24:08Good morning.
00:24:10Charlton for Pope. Long may it reign.
00:24:13Amen.
00:24:15What's going on?
00:24:16Pounds up again.
00:24:18Oh, God.
00:24:20Today's special. Bloody travellers, Jax.
00:24:23Here.
00:24:24Suddenly everyone's going on holiday.
00:24:26So does.
00:24:28Enjoy yourself while you're young.
00:24:38Why do we always do that?
00:24:4893 times a day.
00:24:50We never see anything.
00:24:53Okay.
00:24:58Spend me one more night as the sun was rising,
00:25:12I heard the maiden sing,
00:25:14you in the very early people...
00:25:16My typing not disturbing. Your singing are Hope.
00:25:19See Geoffrey on Sunday.
00:25:21Oh, Geoffrey.
00:25:24That Neville's the greatest.
00:25:29Is he dishy or is he dishy?
00:25:35Neville promises he's going to take this trip back and film this.
00:25:36I'm considering packing Geoffrey in.
00:25:39One date was enough.
00:25:41Why?
00:25:43He's cancer and I'm Libra.
00:25:45Is that bad?
00:25:46Hopeless.
00:25:47Actually, I'm slightly off the male gender at the moment.
00:26:01Five.
00:26:02Five, which is...
00:26:03Which is...
00:26:05Three and two is five, which is two less than seven.
00:26:09Which is...
00:26:11Oh.
00:26:13I see the Spanish police are throwing your lot out of Ibiza.
00:26:17Bank clerks.
00:26:18Your lot.
00:26:20Football supporters.
00:26:22Hippies.
00:26:23Oh.
00:26:24My lot.
00:26:26At the third stroke, it will be 7.22 and 40 seconds.
00:26:35It will be 7.22 and 50 seconds.
00:26:40That's it then.
00:26:42Fate.
00:26:43All over by 7.23 precisely.
00:26:47So what?
00:26:50Plenty more where she came from.
00:26:55Is that the speaking clock?
00:26:57Is that Geoffrey?
00:26:58Is that Beryl?
00:27:00Yes.
00:27:01Yes.
00:27:02Hi.
00:27:05Hi.
00:27:05It's terrifically exciting, isn't it?
00:27:26Getting to know a person.
00:27:28Fantastic.
00:27:28Fantastic.
00:27:28I want to know all about you.
00:27:35That's what it's all about.
00:27:39For example, with things in common already.
00:27:42Definitely.
00:27:45About what?
00:27:49We're enormously fond of animals.
00:27:51Right.
00:27:55And we're both from Manchester.
00:28:00Have you ever been abroad?
00:28:02No.
00:28:04Have you?
00:28:05No.
00:28:06Unless you count Istanbul.
00:28:09Istanbul?
00:28:10Was it beyond belief?
00:28:11I don't know.
00:28:13I was only three.
00:28:19Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:28:22Sometimes.
00:28:24I do.
00:28:26What now?
00:28:29No.
00:28:30Just, just sometimes.
00:28:32Yes, I do.
00:28:39Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:42In getting to know a person.
00:28:44Hmm.
00:28:49He was lithe and easy-limbed.
00:28:52His stride quietly casual.
00:28:54His eyes clear and confident.
00:28:57And his strong mouth ready to break into a relaxed,
00:29:00assured, lopsided grin.
00:29:06You know, Geoffrey,
00:29:08you have a really lopsided grin.
00:29:10Really?
00:29:11You know, lopsided.
00:29:15I don't think I have.
00:29:17It's in the eye of the beholder.
00:29:21See?
00:29:23Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot.
00:29:26He holds it down with his little finger.
00:29:30It must be marvellous being a man.
00:29:34It's OK, I suppose.
00:29:35Men can do anything.
00:29:37Conquer Everest.
00:29:39Do heart transplants.
00:29:40Become leader of the opposition.
00:29:44Anything!
00:29:44Geoffrey, N-O spells no.
00:29:56It's good for your circulation, Beryl.
00:29:58Read any women's magazine.
00:30:00It's good for theirs, too.
00:30:01Not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays.
00:30:05I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
00:30:07All Saturdays.
00:30:10Beryl.
00:30:11Oh, Beryl.
00:30:16Oh, Geoffrey Bobble's bumble.
00:30:18Oh, Beryl.
00:30:19Oh, Geoffrey.
00:30:21Oh, Beryl!
00:30:23Are you all right?
00:30:23What exactly happened?
00:30:24Don't tell me.
00:30:26I just heard a sharp achak of dramatic irony.
00:30:28Pardon?
00:30:34Come back.
00:30:35They're better.
00:30:36It's better.
00:30:37I'm OK.
00:30:41I told you.
00:30:42It's going to pour.
00:30:43It's not.
00:30:52It's only the angels crying.
00:30:53I know how they feel.
00:30:58Well, don't blame me.
00:30:59I haven't done anything.
00:31:00That's true.
00:31:03That's not true, Beryl.
00:31:04I have apologised.
00:31:06I keep going down on me knees when I'm talking to you.
00:31:09Independent observers think I'm training to be a Cossack dancer.
00:31:12It must be a bad line.
00:31:13I can't hear you.
00:31:14You'd better apologise again.
00:31:18I apologise again.
00:31:19Gosh, this lousy line.
00:31:23I wonder if Geoffrey would like to come to tea on Sunday.
00:31:28Pardon?
00:31:29Pardon?
00:31:32Is that who I think it is?
00:31:34No, dear.
00:31:46Well, isn't this nice?
00:31:49Sardine sandwich.
00:31:53Is it all sardine?
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:56She's got her own trawler.
00:32:03Isn't it awful?
00:32:05What?
00:32:06I was speaking to Geoffrey.
00:32:08What's happening in the world?
00:32:09I blame the politicians.
00:32:11What for?
00:32:12For what's happening in the world.
00:32:14I'm talking to her.
00:32:21I can't speak Portuguese.
00:32:23Tasty.
00:32:25Very in oil.
00:32:27Nice in oil.
00:32:28She's got a bad leg.
00:32:31The bread's extremely wholesome.
00:32:34Why, after this little baker down the road,
00:32:35he does something with the bleach.
00:32:40Yes.
00:32:40I can't do long conversations about sardines so much as your mind goes blank.
00:32:54Start thinking about life after death.
00:32:56Oh, that Neville, honestly.
00:33:03Number of hearts he must have broken.
00:33:06Every girl in Manchester, nearly.
00:33:09Geoffrey definitely has.
00:33:10Probably even more.
00:33:14Air hostesses.
00:33:15All sorts.
00:33:18Tell me about your terrible past, Geoffrey.
00:33:20I haven't had one yet.
00:33:22White man speak with forked tongue.
00:33:25Actually, I was hoping more for a terrible future.
00:33:33Wow, is that the time?
00:33:34At this moment in time.
00:33:36What have I done?
00:33:37Is Neville the insanely jealous type?
00:33:40Right in the slightest.
00:33:42You're lucky.
00:33:43Why, it's Geoffrey.
00:33:44Wow.
00:33:47You're not jealous of all my ex-flames, are you?
00:33:50Of course not.
00:33:50Why should I be?
00:33:52Please stop interrogating me, Geoffrey.
00:33:53Forget it.
00:33:56That's all in the past.
00:33:58Then, nothing to be jealous about.
00:34:03Who needs drama?
00:34:06So I shouted back at her.
00:34:08No shop assistant shouts at me, I shouted.
00:34:10In the end, Neville nearly bolted me for swearing.
00:34:12He thumped you.
00:34:15He thumped you.
00:34:16Walloped you on.
00:34:18No.
00:34:19I said nearly.
00:34:23You never thumped me, will you?
00:34:25Like Neville does Sandra.
00:34:27She adores it.
00:34:28Of course not.
00:34:31No.
00:34:34Geoffrey, Percy Filth isn't the only thing in life.
00:34:37It isn't even one of the things in mine.
00:34:38He used to talk to me.
00:34:40All right.
00:34:41Let's talk.
00:34:46Geoffrey, I've just had the most super idea.
00:34:48Why?
00:34:49Is your mum going out?
00:34:53May as well pack in, really.
00:34:57Why?
00:34:59Why not?
00:35:03Good thinking.
00:35:03Thanks for a stimulating few weeks.
00:35:12You too.
00:35:13It was real.
00:35:14It's psychedelic.
00:35:15You can keep me grateful dead, LP.
00:35:17We're scratched anyway.
00:35:20It's been a gasp.
00:35:21Groovy.
00:35:23I won't wave from the window.
00:35:25No, I won't look back anyway.
00:35:27Good.
00:35:28It's been a gasp.
00:35:29You've said that once.
00:35:40You're well-bred, Beryl.
00:35:41There's plenty more fish in the sea.
00:35:45About three very lonely sardines.
00:35:50Mother, please don't try raising one eyebrow at me.
00:35:53You know you can't do it.
00:35:59You'll never thump me, will you, Geoffrey?
00:36:03Ow!
00:36:04Beryl, I just had the most super idea.
00:36:07Are we going to put it up?
00:36:08No.
00:36:09We're going to pack it in.
00:36:10Don't say that.
00:36:11Please don't say that.
00:36:12That.
00:36:15Sandra.
00:36:16Sandra.
00:36:18You're Sandra.
00:36:19Mine.
00:36:23Two months.
00:36:24Two months, nine days.
00:36:26Is she positive?
00:36:30The test was.
00:36:31What are you going to do?
00:36:33She'll think of something.
00:36:35Sandra, it's stupendous.
00:36:39Congratulations.
00:36:40I hope you'll both be very happy.
00:36:42Oh, thanks, kid.
00:36:44Sandra, I don't know how you do it.
00:36:48Often.
00:36:56I don't know.
00:37:11Oh, thanks.
00:37:18Oh, thanks.
00:37:20John for Pope, among my reign.
00:37:50aren't you uh... yeah
00:37:55and you're uh... that's right going somewhere incredible. I'm meeting my
00:38:01parents taking them to see Fiddler on the roof. that's pretty incredible. your
00:38:06mummy and daddy. oh hell no that's tomorrow if I'm in the mood
00:38:15where you are? depends where you take me all I was saying about your friend with
00:38:32the glasses. Roland. Roland. is that I found him intellectually unaware and
00:38:37psychologically incredibly boring. it's not bad at snooker. and how are you in
00:38:44a little beryl? didn't she tell you? I don't work there anymore. I packed her in.
00:38:59did she turn you off? beryl? her?
00:39:03I haven't really looked? seen one? you seen them all.
00:39:10not quite all.
00:39:13i'll go and get my coat.
00:39:18It must be my birthday.
00:39:28Boys aren't the only thing in life, Beryl.
00:39:31I do wish you'd find one.
00:39:37They aren't all after Percy, Filth.
00:39:40Yes, they are.
00:39:43Oh, you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:46Was it?
00:39:48Mmm.
00:39:50Terrific self-control.
00:39:53Joan of Arc never married, yet she led a full and happy life.
00:39:57Or am I thinking of someone else?
00:39:59Mother, I don't happen to be interested in boys.
00:40:02I happen to be interested in having early nights
00:40:04and writing poetry in bed with my Moe Felt-tip pen.
00:40:06It's run out of ink. I used it for my laundry list.
00:40:10My God, your generation's got a few things to answer for.
00:40:13Mmm. Mmm. Mmm, please.
00:40:16Mmm, don't.
00:40:18Please.
00:40:19You can't ravish a girl on her own doorstep.
00:40:23Well, let's go inside, then.
00:40:26Smooth-talking bastard.
00:40:28What about the boy with the freckles from Shakespeare Crescent?
00:40:40I don't believe that question.
00:40:42You used to be crazy about him.
00:40:45I was 11 years old.
00:40:47He used to let me chalk on his tortoise.
00:40:49I don't know.
00:41:09what's your name again what's yours rock that's not your real name no Stephen
00:41:27God that turns me on when I first met you in the street I thought just a quiet drink and a chat
00:41:42shows you the art of conversation ain't dead
00:41:45don't move a muscle however gorgeous
00:41:57testing testing Jeffrey Milleup returns to the day I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself
00:42:27I'm fed up
00:42:43who are you
00:42:46who are you
00:42:47what are you fed up about
00:42:50teachers don't have to do homework
00:42:53no they just mark it anyone can mark it they've got the answers
00:43:00do you know it's after two o'clock what's he doing here then
00:43:09well this is your uncle Stephen this is my revolting brother Jeremy
00:43:19how do you do
00:43:23don't me mum and dad know he's here Jeremy bed
00:43:26I could always wake them up and tell them
00:43:29Jeremy little boys need sleep
00:43:36even big astronauts
00:43:37do you know where babies come from
00:43:39do you
00:43:42say no
00:43:44no
00:43:45I don't
00:43:46say yes
00:43:47shall I tell you
00:43:48he knows
00:43:49the man has this male organ and some blood cells and erectile glands
00:43:53and there's these 500 million spermatozoas in these testes that he has as well
00:43:58and they go through his male organ into the female uterus that the lady has
00:44:02who told you that
00:44:04then they go to the fallopian tubes after that one of them fertilizes with the female egg
00:44:09the others don't bother
00:44:11anyway that's what you have to do
00:44:13then you have a baby
00:44:15did they teach you that at school?
00:44:18they do woodwork in the next class
00:44:20people can only make babies at certain times of the year
00:44:24but animals like dogs and cats and giraffes I think
00:44:28do it all the time
00:44:30no
00:44:32erm
00:44:33that's people
00:44:34what is?
00:44:36well
00:44:39people
00:44:40do it all the time
00:44:41whenever they feel like it
00:44:46in the next class you can do metal work if you don't like woodwork
00:44:53goodnight Jeremy
00:44:5625p
00:44:5850
00:45:0050
00:45:02goodnight Uncle Stephen
00:45:13goodnight Uncle Stephen
00:45:15who the hell's Uncle Stephen at ten past two in the morning?
00:45:28a friend of Jeremy's
00:45:29he's going now
00:45:30goodnight love
00:45:31we would have done that wouldn't we?
00:45:32and how?
00:45:45you can't win them all can you?
00:45:47anyway do you good going without for a change
00:45:51still there's always another day
00:46:06tomorrow?
00:46:07no
00:46:08tomorrow's another day
00:46:09shhh
00:46:10not unless you happen to be in Plymouth
00:46:12where?
00:46:13i'm joining the wrens for three years
00:46:16what wrens?
00:46:17the royal navy's wrens
00:46:20this time tomorrow i'll be in barracks with about 50 other girls and 30,000 sailors
00:46:30hope i like it
00:46:32well thanks for nearly everything
00:46:36we definitely would have done wouldn't we?
00:46:42well obviously
00:46:43we're as good as dead in a way really
00:46:46almost
00:46:47just keep telling yourself and we will have only better
00:46:51goodnight love
00:46:53try our barrel
00:46:55morning previous generation
00:47:25what's for breakfast?
00:47:31you knew it was your mother's birthday
00:47:33now what we'd like to know is where were you while we were fiddling on the flaming roof?
00:47:37i'm sorry mum
00:47:39i'll take you out another night something cropped up
00:47:41like what?
00:47:43dad
00:47:44you understand
00:47:46i don't jeffrey
00:47:48well you always say you do
00:47:50jeffrey you're at it every night
00:47:53yes dad
00:47:55and we don't complain
00:47:56no dad
00:47:57but last night was different
00:47:58i knew you'd understand
00:48:23what's going on?
00:48:24pounds down again
00:48:25up and down like a pair of knickers
00:48:26you should know
00:48:40or me
00:48:41you know what i mean?
00:48:43what a night
00:48:44wow
00:48:45a lot
00:48:47including action replays in slow motion
00:48:52hey lads i picked up a bit of spare last night
00:48:54who didn't?
00:48:55no it's true
00:48:56yes jeffrey
00:48:58it is
00:48:59yes jeffrey
00:49:00bloody is
00:49:02poor jeffrey
00:49:16poor jeffrey
00:49:17beryl please
00:49:18it's neville's engagement party as well
00:49:20he had to invite him
00:49:21he'll see me
00:49:22it's cruel
00:49:23he'll see other girls
00:49:25i shan't take him back Sandra
00:49:29i shan't
00:49:31it's been two weeks
00:49:32he may have got over you by now
00:49:34don't know much about men do you love?
00:49:38it was doing him a kindness really
00:50:04finally splitting up
00:50:06he only had one ambition in life
00:50:09send my knickers to Oxfam
00:50:16good job she hasn't joined the rent
00:50:18the entire navy had gone strike
00:50:20i expect he's sorry now
00:50:23i won't even consider taking him back if he isn't
00:50:27she might have changed of course
00:50:29if she has i might let her have the old orgy now and again
00:50:33he's got to accept we've finally split up
00:50:36otherwise i definitely won't take him back
00:50:40well i'm certainly not making the first move
00:50:44he's still got me pride
00:50:47i left with beryl baby
00:50:49oh hi
00:50:50didn't see you
00:50:51no nor me
00:50:52and how's manchester city doing without me cheering them on then?
00:50:57united
00:50:58we're winning every game now
00:50:59oh good
00:51:01and what's new with jeffrey then?
00:51:04i asked you what was new with you
00:51:07did you?
00:51:08did i say more?
00:51:10pardon?
00:51:11and how's beryl baby getting on then?
00:51:14jeffrey i'm not all that ecstatic about you calling me beryl baby
00:51:17it isn't like you
00:51:18say that again beryl baby
00:51:20what's your name handsome?
00:51:22you'll laugh
00:51:37everybody laughs
00:51:39it's the story of my life
00:51:41you tell it like it is chuck
00:51:43she used to put them on an axe
00:51:53what do you care?
00:51:56i don't have a baby
00:52:02is she going to get into bed with him now?
00:52:06probably
00:52:08jeffrey always looks half asleep these days
00:52:12well it's very exhausting
00:52:15what is?
00:52:17working in a bank
00:52:19oh
00:52:25i had this bad scene with this chick
00:52:29and decided to split
00:52:31so i cut out man
00:52:34like there's no tomorrow
00:52:36this cat gets it together where it's at man
00:52:41lots of beautiful bag baby
00:52:45so if you want a piece of the action
00:52:47don't cool it
00:52:50dig?
00:52:53sorry i no understand english
00:52:59no understand english
00:53:06gesundheit
00:53:08i thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one
00:53:12she has
00:53:14and which is her husband?
00:53:16neither
00:53:22it's warming up isn't it?
00:53:24great beat isn't it?
00:53:25great to dance to
00:53:27do you agree that life's an onion?
00:53:41hmmm
00:53:42if so what's death?
00:53:45So, what's death?
00:53:47Erm...
00:53:50A banana.
00:53:52Yes, I expect it is when you think about it.
00:53:56Have you read Schopenhauer's concept of existence?
00:54:00Erm...
00:54:02No.
00:54:04But I've seen the film.
00:54:06You married?
00:54:08No.
00:54:09Grab yourself an adage.
00:54:11Marriage is a cabbage.
00:54:14Are you a poet?
00:54:16Never ask the questions, ask the answers.
00:54:19You are a poet.
00:54:22To any manager, Marks and Spencers.
00:54:26Ciao.
00:54:28I really dirt you.
00:54:30Now he's taking his clothes off.
00:54:34What's on ITV?
00:54:36This.
00:54:38What's on BBC?
00:54:42Cutting over.
00:54:44What's that like?
00:54:46This.
00:54:48Oh, come on now.
00:54:50You know that's not where it's at.
00:54:52Let's get this...
00:54:53What's the word?
00:54:54Let's get it clear.
00:54:56Let's get down to the real nitty-grittiesville, okay?
00:55:00Mm.
00:55:02Women's lip is not about burning brass.
00:55:12Papers, yeah.
00:55:14What papers?
00:55:16A marriage certificate, a dog's license, whatever you prefer to call it.
00:55:20Look, let's be basic about this, Enid.
00:55:23All girls want marriage and a white wedding.
00:55:26Really basic?
00:55:27You want to be really basic?
00:55:29Utterly basic.
00:55:30Balls.
00:55:32Grass?
00:55:34Enid, when Sandra says every girl, she means most girls.
00:55:39Well, like herself.
00:55:40Not me, of course, because I incredibly value my independence.
00:55:43But most girls definitely want...
00:55:46Balls!
00:55:47If you can't conduct an intelligent conversation without recourse to...
00:55:51I'm not recourseing to anything.
00:55:52I'm merely telling you what girls want.
00:55:54What?
00:55:55Balls!
00:55:56Balls!
00:55:57Would you please stop saying that?
00:55:59You believe in free love, right?
00:56:01Wrong!
00:56:02I believe in free everything.
00:56:04Freedom from all male chauvinists.
00:56:05Pig domination.
00:56:06Honestly, don't you understand?
00:56:08Excuse me, you've got your hand on me.
00:56:10If we're liberating society for the future, I'm sure.
00:56:12No, thank you.
00:56:13Excuse me.
00:56:14Excuse me, if you've got your hand on me.
00:56:15No!
00:56:16Argh!
00:56:17Oh, sorry.
00:56:18Well, I'm sorry.
00:56:19It's all right.
00:56:20Oh, gee.
00:56:21It's a pleasure.
00:56:22Grass?
00:56:23Geoffrey, if not to.
00:56:25Why not?
00:56:26I said don't.
00:56:27You're not to smoke it.
00:56:38Oh, wow.
00:56:39We're as liberated as you, Enid.
00:56:42We've equal importance as individuals.
00:56:45Neither of us is boss.
00:56:46It just doesn't arise.
00:56:48We'll make some coffee, kid.
00:56:50Yes.
00:56:51You see, what we believe is...
00:56:52Now!
00:56:53You see...
00:56:54Where are one?
00:56:55I can see there's only one way to get through.
00:57:00What are you doing?
00:57:01Lighting everybody's fire.
00:57:06Burn my bra.
00:57:08Right.
00:57:09That's it.
00:57:10Finished.
00:57:11The end.
00:57:12Full stop.
00:57:13We've finally split up.
00:57:14Neville, Sandra wants you.
00:57:15I should imagine.
00:57:16Sad, isn't it?
00:57:17Pathetic.
00:57:18Well, I can't follow plays these days.
00:57:20It's just showing real life, that's all.
00:57:21I once thought I'd found her.
00:57:22The perfect,
00:57:23.
00:57:24Neville, Sandra wants you. I should imagine.
00:57:29Sad, isn't it?
00:57:33Pathetic.
00:57:38Well, I can't follow plays these days.
00:57:41It's just show in real life, that's all.
00:57:48I once thought I'd found her.
00:57:51A perfect girl.
00:57:54Red hair.
00:57:55Not too skinny.
00:57:57Very gentle and shy.
00:58:01Passionate when roused.
00:58:04Yeah.
00:58:06I should pack me in for picking my teeth with a matchstick.
00:58:09You're very sweet, Roland.
00:58:12I've always thought you were.
00:58:17Did you know you very nearly have a lopsided grin?
00:58:21It's just I'm a bit tired.
00:58:22No, it's nice.
00:58:24I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:37I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:50Oh, sorry.
00:58:54Do you know...
00:58:55What, Beryl?
00:58:56She can ask me anything.
00:58:59Do you know where Jeffrey's got to?
00:59:01She's upstairs, I think.
00:59:11Is it true they're dry on their own?
00:59:15Usually.
00:59:16I hate to be any trouble, but I think I'm dying.
00:59:25You'll be all right, honest.
00:59:27She said I shouldn't smoke it.
00:59:29Who?
00:59:30She said...
00:59:34Jeffrey?
00:59:38Jeffrey?
00:59:39Jeffrey?
00:59:39Sorry.
00:59:52Jeffrey?
00:59:57Move up a bit, Jeffrey.
00:59:59Put your legs...
01:00:00That's better.
01:00:02It's because it's your first time, isn't it?
01:00:13Call Dr. Wise, put a Quilmslow road.
01:00:21It wasn't marijuana, you know.
01:00:23What was it, then?
01:00:28Grass.
01:00:30Grass is marijuana.
01:00:33This grass wasn't.
01:00:35It was the real thing.
01:00:39From the front lawn.
01:00:40Is that you, Beryl?
01:00:55Had a nice time?
01:00:57Even though it's three o'clock in the morning.
01:01:00Not that I mind, if you've had a nice time.
01:01:03Even though I've been in bed since ten, having a good night's worry.
01:01:08Did you see Jeffrey?
01:01:10I don't know.
01:01:13That's good.
01:01:33Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard?
01:01:37I didn't try at all.
01:01:38I gave you to rest.
01:01:44I'm right off, birds.
01:01:46I am.
01:01:47I am.
01:01:49For good.
01:01:51Me too.
01:01:53And me.
01:01:54Good morning.
01:02:14Your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel.
01:02:17Good night?
01:02:18Good night.
01:02:18Good night.
01:02:30Good night.
01:02:47Oh, Bernal.
01:03:09Oh, Bernal.
01:03:16Geoffrey.
01:03:19Can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you?
01:03:24Oh, Bernal.
01:03:27Oh, Geoffrey.
01:03:30Oh, God.
01:03:39Hello.
01:03:45Will you be required in the room again, sir?
01:03:48Because we're thinking of taking bookings for the next pop festival.
01:03:51You're a bugger.
01:03:54I don't know who he takes after.
01:04:03Hello?
01:04:05It's me.
01:04:06Who?
01:04:07My God, that's symbolic.
01:04:09Oh, hello, Bernal.
01:04:10I'm just ringing to tell you I never want to see you again.
01:04:13If you have a phone or call, please don't, because I shan't be in.
01:04:16Tonight or any other night.
01:04:18Anyway, tonight I'm helping me mum at the school jumble sale.
01:04:21And I'm helping you.
01:04:31What?
01:04:40Oh, Father.
01:04:41Got out.
01:04:42Well done, he came at home.
01:04:44Want some more well?
01:04:46A small world.
01:04:52Good evening, Mrs Battersby. I was looking for a nice lampshade.
01:04:57Oh?
01:04:59Probably this one. Definitely. Magic in satin.
01:05:03Oh, certainly, Geoffrey. Who's here in his nice crimson shoes?
01:05:11You'd like some nice fancy random paper, wouldn't you?
01:05:16I'm a child of the universe, Beryl. I have a right to be here.
01:05:20I'm afraid we don't sell marijuana on Sundays. Try the co-op.
01:05:23Beryl, listen.
01:05:23If you can smell burning, it's just that the vicar's been round burning his jockstrap.
01:05:26Beryl, listen.
01:05:26Can I help you, madam?
01:05:27Have you got that in another colour?
01:05:30No, madam.
01:05:31I'll leave it then.
01:05:41Listen to what, for heaven's sake?
01:05:43Don't matter.
01:05:45What doesn't?
01:05:46You wouldn't, anyway.
01:05:47Wouldn't what?
01:05:49Go to the match with me on Saturday.
01:05:52Me?
01:05:53A football match?
01:05:55With 40,000 skinheads and you?
01:05:58Told you.
01:06:00Who are they playing?
01:06:06Huddersfield Town.
01:06:08In the co-op.
01:06:09I've always wanted to watch Huddersfield Town.
01:06:16The fourth from the bottom.
01:06:20Shows you.
01:06:22Away from home, they've won three, drawn five and lost 12.
01:06:28drawn five.
01:06:29John five.
01:06:34So what do you think?
01:06:37I think I nearly love you.
01:06:38Yeah.
01:06:38I think I nearly love you.
01:06:38What do you think?
01:06:39Never mind, it's only a game.
01:07:09I don't recall Grace Kelly enticing Prince Rainier by going to Watch United. I may be wrong.
01:07:22Grace who?
01:07:24We live in a permissive society, Beryl. Read any colour supplement.
01:07:28Mother, you're supposed to be my mother.
01:07:30I am, love. And it wasn't through going to football matches.
01:07:34You are the same mother that makes me tug my skirt down every time I stand up, even if he's only on the phone.
01:07:38Yes, well, boys are very safe. And I am your mother.
01:07:44That's what I said.
01:07:46I don't mean permissive permissive.
01:07:51I see.
01:07:52Romantic.
01:07:55Pardon?
01:07:56Kissing, cuddling. Things of that nature.
01:07:59Oh, we do.
01:08:03Do what?
01:08:04What you just said.
01:08:06Good. Not too much, I hope.
01:08:09Oh, God.
01:08:10Boys are very funny.
01:08:12They're novices compared to mothers.
01:08:13Did I tell you that two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains?
01:08:23Oh.
01:08:27Two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains.
01:08:32Fantastic.
01:08:32The Cowgill's.
01:08:40Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill.
01:08:42Married couple.
01:08:45Newlyweds.
01:08:46Not long married.
01:08:49You go bald doing that.
01:08:51Doing what?
01:08:52Do I tell you, 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains.
01:09:09Living in sin.
01:09:13Can you say one single sentence without the word marriage in it?
01:09:16If I said to you, do you think Cassius Clay would have beaten Rocky Marciano,
01:09:25would you say what's it matter so long as they're happily married?
01:09:28I don't think so.
01:09:31A barrel would.
01:09:35Giving you a bad time, is she?
01:09:38Oh.
01:09:39I wouldn't say that.
01:09:43I haven't even mentioned the word.
01:09:46What word?
01:09:47Goodness me, a single person can have a relationship with another single person without everyone thinking she's automatically...
01:09:53I never said you were.
01:09:54You think it.
01:10:09All right, Geoffrey.
01:10:11I hereby promise never to utter the word again.
01:10:15Marriage.
01:10:16Never.
01:10:19Well, until I am.
01:10:21If I ever do.
01:10:22Which I fervently hope I never will.
01:10:24For someone who's not uttering something, when's your old pee coming out?
01:10:27No two people have a divine right to happiness, Geoffrey.
01:10:34You mustn't feel guilty about me.
01:10:38Sorry?
01:10:38No one can say you've completely ruined me life.
01:10:43Not yet.
01:10:43Not yet.
01:10:44What are you staring at?
01:10:51Hello?
01:10:52You all right, son?
01:10:53Terrific.
01:10:53Why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat, then? Your mother's theory is you're overworking.
01:11:03My theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird.
01:11:07Oh, what's your theory?
01:11:09What's your theory?
01:11:10Indigestion.
01:11:11Oh.
01:11:12What's yours, Sundance?
01:11:13Hasn't he said anything at all?
01:11:14He has said one thing.
01:11:15Who?
01:11:16What's that?
01:11:17If God had meant sardines to be in oil, it had given them dipsticks. All right.
01:11:20The weeks and months dragged by, and with neither side willing to compromise, we still have deadlock.
01:11:33Her Majesty's government have consistently tried to find a way out of this dilemma.
01:11:38Another wild night learning what NO spells and how many of us school pals are getting married.
01:11:43And what NO spells.
01:11:45And what NO spells.
01:11:47Great!
01:11:48I might as well go bald and open my own monastery.
01:11:51And so, society, that's you and me, says end this dispute. End it now. Good night.
01:12:01Hear, hear.
01:12:02Good, wasn't he?
01:12:03Terrific. Especially when he said good night.
01:12:07We're just enjoying ourselves.
01:12:09Having a good time.
01:12:11Just having fun.
01:12:13Being happy!
01:12:15Take two a day after meals, and one if you find yourself crying your heart out again in the middle of a zebra crossing for no reason at all.
01:12:26You're sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend?
01:12:28Absolutely positive.
01:12:30That was the first film we ever saw together.
01:12:33Make that three a day after meals.
01:12:43Look, Beryl, how's this for a peace plan?
01:12:51You join a marriage bureau, and I'll get a job on the stage twice nightly in Denmark.
01:12:57Then we'll both be happy.
01:12:58Right?
01:12:59Right.
01:13:00You're Jesus Christ, superstar. Amen.
01:13:02Oh, hell.
01:13:03Hands up again.
01:13:04See you tomorrow.
01:13:05Where do you think you're going?
01:13:06Geoffrey, I'll get the sack.
01:13:07It's important.
01:13:08What is?
01:13:09I keep asking you, what is?
01:13:13What is?
01:13:14What is?
01:13:15To be on our own.
01:13:16What?
01:13:17So as we can talk.
01:13:18What?
01:13:19That old speech has happened to me.
01:13:20What?
01:13:21What?
01:13:22What?
01:13:23What?
01:13:24What?
01:13:25What?
01:13:26What?
01:13:27What?
01:13:28What?
01:13:29What?
01:13:30What?
01:13:31What?
01:13:32What?
01:13:33What?
01:13:34What?
01:13:35What?
01:13:36What?
01:13:37What?
01:13:38What?
01:13:39What?
01:13:40What?
01:13:41What?
01:13:42That old speech worked out on the bus this morning.
01:13:46The only bit I can remember is, and that's what I think.
01:13:50Last night I dreamt I was in goal for Manchester United and Grace Kelly kicked nine goals past me.
01:13:55Grace who?
01:13:56She was playing for United as well. Weird, isn't it?
01:14:09The main thing is, we do communicate.
01:14:13Oh, we do.
01:14:23See, what face do I want to...
01:14:24See, what I...
01:14:25Go on.
01:14:26No, you.
01:14:27Mine wasn't important.
01:14:29No, mine wasn't.
01:14:39I...
01:14:40I...
01:14:41Beryl?
01:14:45Are you...
01:14:46Happy?
01:14:48Of course.
01:14:49Very.
01:14:53I am.
01:14:54No one is every second of every minute of every day.
01:15:00No.
01:15:03I'm not.
01:15:04Do you think it's because we love each other, do you think?
01:15:16Probably.
01:15:17I've not actually said the words often.
01:15:19Well, not in so many words.
01:15:22Mostly in words to that effect.
01:15:34Is there anything you don't love about me?
01:15:41No.
01:15:42I don't think so.
01:15:43Honestly, no.
01:15:45Nothing.
01:15:46If there is, you just tell me and I'll stop doing it.
01:15:48If there isn't anything.
01:15:49Honest.
01:15:50Good.
01:15:53It wouldn't upset me.
01:15:55It'd just make me a better human being to deserve your love.
01:15:58What?
01:16:03Like, you know, crimson shoes and bottle green socks.
01:16:10Well, you don't wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks, Beryl.
01:16:13If I did, I'd stop.
01:16:14To please you.
01:16:19I see.
01:16:20There's no need to be sensitive, Geoffrey.
01:16:25In a meaningful relationship, you must like even what you don't.
01:16:32Your mother.
01:16:33Pardon?
01:16:34I like your mother.
01:16:35Please don't sulk, Geoffrey.
01:16:36Hand her lampshades.
01:16:37Sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person.
01:16:41Well, you ought to know.
01:16:42You've almost made it an art form.
01:16:44Anything else at random?
01:16:45You've got 24 hours to spare.
01:16:47After all, I'm no Bridget Bardot.
01:16:49According to reliable sources in Saint-Tropez, she's 105 next birthday.
01:16:53Over 98% of the male population of Manchester and Salford
01:16:56can tell the difference between Bridget Bardot and Beryl Battersby.
01:16:59Ask any opinion poll.
01:17:01I'm much fatter for a start.
01:17:02You're not all that fat, Beryl.
01:17:04I am.
01:17:05Start slimming.
01:17:06Men like something to get hold of.
01:17:08If they're allowed to get hold of it.
01:17:10You always succeed in getting back to Percy Filth in the end, don't you?
01:17:13Always.
01:17:14No, I don't, Beryl.
01:17:15You do.
01:17:16I always fail.
01:17:17Do you know what some girls find extremely likeable?
01:17:19The extremely likeable way some boys stare at every girl they see.
01:17:22Boys like it when girls tell them what N-O spells.
01:17:25Especially for the 600th time.
01:17:27That they really dig.
01:17:28You never say dig.
01:17:30I did then.
01:17:31Your passionate, unrequited love for 11 boring men kicking a ball about.
01:17:37That's really lovable.
01:17:38I never knew you thought that.
01:17:40Neither did I.
01:17:41Do now, though.
01:17:43I used to say dig before I met you.
01:17:58I used to say all sorts of things.
01:18:04There's a lot about me I can't even remember.
01:18:28Thinking what I'm thinking.
01:18:31I think so.
01:18:34We just don't like each other.
01:18:37At all.
01:18:39Oh, goodbye then.
01:18:53Good luck.
01:18:54Peace, ma'am.
01:18:59St Anne's Square.
01:19:00Where?
01:19:01St Anne's Square, please.
01:19:12So that just leaves a cot, two matinee coats, two romper suits.
01:19:19And what else do I need?
01:19:21Oh, yes.
01:19:22A ring.
01:19:23Teething ring?
01:19:24Wedding ring.
01:19:25Of course.
01:19:26Oh, they have gorgeous plans in the shops these days.
01:19:31No wonder everyone's at it.
01:19:34Oh, sorry.
01:19:36What about?
01:19:37Skip it.
01:19:38About time, too.
01:19:40With her sympathy.
01:19:42Not that I need any, actually.
01:19:44I've never been as happy in me life.
01:19:46But she doesn't know that.
01:19:48If I'm looking miserable, Sandrick, it's because I'm feeling happy for you.
01:19:53Yeah.
01:19:57We know what you must be thinking.
01:19:59Of course we do.
01:20:00How to pop the pink without going in off.
01:20:08Ace.
01:20:10She used to wear pink, you know.
01:20:12I won't tell you where.
01:20:17A hell of a lot more where hers came from.
01:20:19Wow!
01:20:24Did you want the chalk, Geoffrey?
01:20:26I know, spells no.
01:20:30Super day for it.
01:20:32Hmm, sin being inside a day like this.
01:20:34Well, Sandra.
01:20:37This is it.
01:20:38Yep.
01:20:40The big day.
01:20:41Yep.
01:20:42Coming to the crutch.
01:20:43Crunch.
01:20:46I dare say it'll hardly break my heart in the slightest seeing him again.
01:20:50You mustn't think I'll be crying inside because I most definitely won't be.
01:20:54And what's more, no one will know that I am.
01:20:57Because I shan't.
01:20:59Truly.
01:21:01Sandra, please, you've enough to think of.
01:21:08It's a big day for you as well, really, isn't it?
01:21:15And now one of the bride and groom on their own.
01:21:18Do you mind stepping back, sir?
01:21:20Eh, fine.
01:21:21This is fine enough.
01:21:22Here?
01:21:23About there, lovely.
01:21:25You can kiss the bride on this one, sir.
01:21:27Wow.
01:21:28Official permission to actually kiss her.
01:21:32Ow!
01:21:33Oh, sorry.
01:21:35That's right.
01:21:36Hold it.
01:21:38Lovely.
01:21:40Right, now, a nice family group of the parents, please.
01:21:43Funny.
01:21:44I remember the Friday lunchtime we first met.
01:21:48How have you been?
01:21:50Absolutely great.
01:21:51You?
01:21:52Never better.
01:21:53Ever.
01:21:54That's it.
01:21:55Hold it like that.
01:21:57It's all over now.
01:21:58Bar the salmon salad.
01:22:02It's tuna fish.
01:22:04It's life.
01:22:12See, President Nick.
01:22:13Somewhere to China, then.
01:22:15That was before we ever met.
01:22:17I know.
01:22:18Why?
01:22:19Has something happened about it?
01:22:20No.
01:22:21Oh?
01:22:22Could I trouble you for the salad cream, please?
01:22:24Hmm.
01:22:26Speaking personally, I think there are enough problems to sort out on Earth without going to the moon.
01:22:32Nixon.
01:22:34Why is he going?
01:22:36No.
01:22:37The astronauts.
01:22:39Oh.
01:22:41It's the wives and sweethearts I feel sorry for.
01:22:46We never really talked, did we, about things that matter?
01:22:50Good, isn't it?
01:22:51Shows we're friends.
01:22:52Now that we know we don't like each other.
01:22:55Everybody thinks we're broken hearted.
01:23:01We've really grown up, haven't we?
01:23:03My mother's convinced herself we split up because we had too much Percy filth.
01:23:07I'm right off it myself.
01:23:09I've been able to walk off buses perfectly normally for the past few weeks.
01:23:13Aw.
01:23:14I expect it's only temporary.
01:23:16I hope not.
01:23:17It's marvellous.
01:23:19I don't fancy you in the slightest now.
01:23:21Mm.
01:23:22Thank you, love.
01:23:26Still off the food, I noticed.
01:23:32And we've learned a fantastic amount for the future.
01:23:35Fantastic.
01:23:36For example, say I finally did marry someone like you, only someone I love.
01:23:40I bet I'd now let him wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks every night.
01:23:45In bed a bit.
01:23:49And you'll probably meet some little fatty who's never even heard of Kenny Warhol,
01:23:54and marry her three days later.
01:23:58We probably won't see each other at all now, we're pals.
01:24:01I expect you're going to the match this afternoon.
01:24:03Oh, yeah.
01:24:05I'm helping Sandra Packer go in a way case.
01:24:07Where's she going?
01:24:08Hospital.
01:24:13Well, we'll bump into each other sometime.
01:24:15Mm-hmm.
01:24:27Go, man!
01:24:28Oh, hello, Mrs. Battersbury.
01:24:58He, er, he won't remember me.
01:25:01Good afternoon, Geoffrey.
01:25:04Ah, um, is, er, is Beryl there, please?
01:25:08She's gone to the football match.
01:25:12There is no football. It's cricket now.
01:25:15Well, it's the same thing, isn't it?
01:25:28Hi.
01:25:42When's the kick-off?
01:25:44In about three months.
01:25:47Football season's over now, Beryl.
01:25:49Oh, what on earth did you want to come for?
01:25:52I forgot.
01:25:54I'm not all that interested these days.
01:25:58Where will you go now, then?
01:26:00Don't know.
01:26:04Could always go inside and practise booing for next season.
01:26:10Where will you?
01:26:11Might go and get a new pair of tights.
01:26:14Hey, it's like the countryside, isn't it, when it's empty?
01:26:18Fancy a stroll in the country?
01:26:20May as well, if you like.
01:26:22Don't mind. Why not?
01:26:24Just as friends.
01:26:26Oh, I meant just as friends.
01:26:28Yeah, I did.
01:26:28I wish we had a ball.
01:26:38Could play shooting in.
01:26:42You could go in goal.
01:26:49Amazing how people change, isn't it?
01:26:51Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.
01:27:19We'll be even happier with someone else.
01:27:25Anyone, really.
01:27:34There's millions to choose from.
01:27:37All nearly exactly right for us.
01:27:41You'll find someone, Geoffrey.
01:27:44You will, Beryl.
01:27:45Just a matter of keeping your eyes open, really.
01:27:49Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:51Let's do it, Roar King.
01:27:56And Heroic!
01:27:59Oh, yeah, no.
01:28:02Part one!
01:28:06Oh, yeah!
01:28:12Oh, yeah!
01:28:12Oh, yeah!
01:28:14And you'll find sometimes
01:28:33Love and rainy weather can turn out fine
01:28:38Getting wet together's fun
01:28:41When the crying's dark
01:28:47Love and rainy weather
01:28:51Are followed by the sun
01:28:57Love and rainy weather
01:29:00Love and rainy weather
01:29:05When the crying's dark
01:29:12Love and rainy weather
01:29:16Are followed by the sun
01:29:21Love and rainy weather
01:29:25Love and rainy weather
01:29:29Love and rainy weather
01:29:35phrase ради hotels
01:29:38Let the rising weather
01:29:40be moved up of the sun
01:29:42Liketit left
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