I thought I was just helping my best friend’s dad redesign his home office. A quick favor. A few sketches. But what started as a simple project turned into something I never saw coming…
In this deeply personal story, I open up about a secret that’s been tearing me apart—caught between loyalty, love, and a line I never should’ve crossed. This isn't just about design or family. It's about what happens when feelings get messy and life doesn't stick to the script.
Have you ever found yourself falling for someone you weren’t supposed to? Struggling between what feels right and what actually is? You’re not alone.
💬 Drop your thoughts in the comments — I read everything.
💕 Like the video if you’ve ever had to choose between your heart and your values.
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☕ Buy Me a Coffee - https://buymeacoffee.com/keshmalik8t8
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🔔 Turn on notifications so you don’t miss the next chapter.
#Storytime #ConfessionTime #TrueStory #ForbiddenLove #EmotionalStory #BestFriendsDad #LoveAndLoyalty #MessyFeelings #SecretsUncovered #LifeUnfiltered
In this deeply personal story, I open up about a secret that’s been tearing me apart—caught between loyalty, love, and a line I never should’ve crossed. This isn't just about design or family. It's about what happens when feelings get messy and life doesn't stick to the script.
Have you ever found yourself falling for someone you weren’t supposed to? Struggling between what feels right and what actually is? You’re not alone.
💬 Drop your thoughts in the comments — I read everything.
💕 Like the video if you’ve ever had to choose between your heart and your values.
👉 Support more stories like this:
☕ Buy Me a Coffee - https://buymeacoffee.com/keshmalik8t8
🎧 Subscribe for more raw, emotional storytime videos every week.
🔔 Turn on notifications so you don’t miss the next chapter.
#Storytime #ConfessionTime #TrueStory #ForbiddenLove #EmotionalStory #BestFriendsDad #LoveAndLoyalty #MessyFeelings #SecretsUncovered #LifeUnfiltered
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FunTranscript
00:00i'm nora and i thought i knew where the lines were drawn friendship loyalty the kind of boundaries
00:06you don't cross but then my best friend elise asked me for a favor help her dad julian redesign
00:12his home office it sounded so innocent didn't it just a quick project a few sketches maybe a coffee
00:18or two while we sorted out color schemes i'd met julian before charming intense the kind of man who
00:25could command a room with a single glance but i never expected to see him the way i did that first
00:30day his eyes catching mine like they saw something no one else ever had one late night one quiet
00:35conversation one moment where the air between us felt too heavy to breathe and everything changed
00:41i'm still trying to make sense of it this secret that's burning inside me this betrayal i can never
00:47tell elise this is the story of how i stumbled into something forbidden something that's left me
00:52questioning everything i thought i knew about myself you're not going to believe where this
00:56journey takes me so buckle up it's a wild ride if you've ever found yourself caught in a moment you
01:02knew you shouldn't want smash that like button and let me know i'm not alone hit subscribe if you're
01:07ready to uncover the secrets with me i've always believed in keeping things simple stick to the plan
01:13don't overstep and never mess with the people who matter most that's how i've lived my life or at least
01:19tried to ever since i was a kid tripping over my own shoelaces in high school back then i met elise
01:24my best friend the one person who could make me laugh until my sides ached even on the worst days
01:29we were inseparable two girls navigating algebra finals first crushes and those awkward years where
01:36you're trying to figure out who you are elise was the loud one always dragging me to parties i'd rather
01:41skip but she was also the one who'd stay up with me until 2 a.m helping me rewrite college essays or
01:47cry over a guy who didn't deserve me she was my rock and i was hers so when she called me last month
01:53her voice all rushed and frazzled asking for a favor i didn't even blink nora i need you she said
01:59her words tumbling out like she was juggling 10 things at once my dad's working on this big project
02:05and he needs help with his home office you're the artsy one the graphic designer can you swing by and
02:11give him some ideas please i laughed picturing elise pacing her tiny apartment probably burning
02:18toast while she talked your dad like julian the architect guy who probably knows more about design
02:24than i do exactly she said he's got no time in mom's bin well you know how they are it's tense
02:31just help him out okay it's a quick gig and he'll owe you big time i couldn't say no
02:37not to elise besides it wasn't like i was swamped my freelance design work was steady but not exactly
02:44setting the world on fire and i could use the distraction julian elise's dad wasn't a stranger
02:49but he wasn't exactly familiar either i'd seen him at her family barbecues her 18th birthday
02:55that one thanksgiving where i accidentally spilled cranberry sauce on their white tablecloth
03:00he was always there in the background with this quiet intensity that made you notice him
03:05tall broad-shouldered with dark hair just starting to gray at the temples and eyes that seemed to see
03:11right through you he'd smile make small talk but there was always this wall around him like he was
03:16holding something back i figured it was just him being the serious architect type always thinking
03:21about buildings or blueprints or whatever it is architects obsess over sure i told elise grabbing my
03:27sketchpad and shoving it into my bag text me the address and when he's free i'll swing by
03:33life saver she chirped you're the best nora i'll tell him you're coming i hung up feeling that familiar
03:41warmth of doing something for elise it was just a favor right a quick trip to her dad's place maybe an
03:47hour of tossing around ideas for his office and i'd be back to my netflix queue by dinner that's what i
03:53told myself as i drove across town the city blurring past my windshield julian lived in one of those
03:59modern houses on the edge of the suburbs all sharp angles and glass walls the kind of place that
04:05looked like it belonged in a magazine i pulled into the driveway my beat-up hatchback looking wildly out
04:10of place next to his sleek black suv the air smelled like fresh-cut grass and money and i could hear the
04:16faint hum of a sprinkler somewhere nearby i rang the doorbell adjusting my bag on my shoulder expecting maybe
04:23a quick handshake and a let's get to work vibe but when julian opened the door everything felt
04:28different he was in a crisp white shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows and there was this faint
04:35scent of cedar and something sharper like leather that hit me as he stepped closer his smile was warm
04:40but guarded like he was sizing me up nora he said his voice low and smooth like he was tasting my name
04:47thanks for coming elise said you're a genius with this stuff i laughed a little too loudly trying to
04:54shake off the way his eyes held mine for a second longer than they should have genius is a stretch
04:59but i'll do my best you're the architect though i'm probably just here to nod and draw what you tell
05:04me he chuckled stepping aside to let me in don't sell yourself short i've seen your work on elise's
05:11website you've got an eye i felt my cheeks warm at that which was ridiculous it was just a compliment
05:17the kind of thing people say to be polite but there was something in the way he said it like he
05:22meant it more than he should i followed him inside my sneakers squeaking faintly on the polished hardwood
05:28the house was as sleek as i'd imagined open spaces minimalist furniture walls of glass letting in the late
05:35afternoon sun it was beautiful but cold like it was built to be admired not lived in we sat at his
05:42kitchen island blueprints and mood boards spread out between us he talked about the office redesign
05:47something about needing a space that felt creative but functional a place to think i nodded sketching
05:53as he spoke trying to focus on the lines of my pencil instead of the way his fingers moved when he
05:58pointed at the plans steady and precise every now and then i'd catch him watching me not the sketches
06:04and my stomach would do this little flip i couldn't ignore so i said trying to keep things light elise
06:10says you're swamped big project keeping you up at night he leaned back crossing his arms and for a
06:17moment his smile faltered something like that work's been complicated and home's not much better i raised an
06:25eyebrow curious but not wanting to pry yeah elise mentioned things are tense with your wife sorry
06:30that's probably none of my business he waved it off but his eyes darkened just for a second
06:36it's fine let's just say marriage isn't always what it looks like from the outside there was a weight to
06:43his words something heavy and unspoken and i didn't push instead i changed the subject pointing to my sketch
06:49what if we move the desk here more light from the window he leaned closer his shoulder brushing mine
06:56as he studied the drawing good call he said his voice softer now you're better at this than you
07:01think i smiled but my heart was beating faster than it should have it was just a shoulder brush
07:07just a compliment but it felt like more like there was something simmering under the surface something i
07:12wasn't supposed to notice i told myself i was imagining it this was julian elise's dad for god's
07:19sake he was married older completely off limits but as we kept talking laughing about bad design trends
07:26and swapping stories about elise's terrible cooking i couldn't shake the feeling that something was
07:31shifting the way he looked at me the way his voice dropped when he said my name it wasn't just
07:36friendly it was something else something dangerous when i left that day my sketchpad stuffed with ideas
07:42and my head spinning i told myself it was nothing just a long afternoon just a guy being nice but
07:47deep down i knew better i'd felt it that spark that pull and as i drove home the city lights blurring
07:53past i couldn't stop thinking about the way julian's eyes had lingered on me like he was seeing something
07:59he wasn't supposed to want have you ever felt a moment like that where you know you're stepping too
08:04close to a line you shouldn't cross drop it in the comments i need to know i'm not the only one
08:10i couldn't stop thinking about that first afternoon at julian's house it was like his
08:15presence had left a mark on me something i couldn't shake off even as i drove home the city
08:20lights smearing into streaks of gold and red outside my window i told myself i was being ridiculous
08:25he was elise's dad a married man probably twice my age with a life so far removed from mine it might
08:31as well have been on another planet i was just there to help with his office redesign nothing more
08:36but the way he'd looked at me the way his voice had softened when he said my name
08:41it clung to me like the faint trace of his cologne on my jacket i spent the next few days trying to
08:46bury it diving into client projects blasting music anything to drown out the memory of that spark in
08:52his eyes but when elise texted me a few days later asking if i could go back to her dad's place to
08:58finalize some sketches my heart did this stupid little jump nora you're a lifesaver her text read
09:04dad says you're a genius can you meet him tomorrow he's free after six i stared at my phone thumb
09:12hovering over the keyboard i should have said i was busy made some excuse about deadlines or a sick day
09:17but i didn't instead i typed no problem i'll be there as soon as i hit send i felt it that mix of
09:25excitement and dread like i was walking toward something i knew i shouldn't but i couldn't stop
09:29myself the next evening i pulled up to julian's house again the glass walls glowing softly in the
09:35dusk the air was cooler now carrying that crisp edge of early fall and i tugged my scarf tighter
09:42as i rang the doorbell this time julian answered almost immediately like he'd been waiting he was
09:48in a dark sweater casual but still sharp his hair slightly tousled like he'd been running his hands
09:53through it that same cedar leather scent hit me as he smiled and i swear my knees felt a little weaker
09:59than they should have nora right on time he said stepping aside to let me in hope i'm not dragging
10:05you away from anything fun i laughed trying to keep it light unless you count binge watching true crime
10:11as fun you're not missing much he raised an eyebrow a playful glint in his eyes true crime huh should i be
10:19worried you're analyzing my every move only if you've got bodies hidden in the basement i shot
10:24back surprising myself with how easy it felt to banter with him he laughed a low warm sound that
10:30made my chest tighten and gestured for me to follow him to the kitchen we settled at the island again
10:36my sketch pad opened between us a laptop glowing with 3d renderings of his office space the plan was
10:42to nail down the layout desk placement shelving maybe accent wall to tie it all together simple
10:48professional no big deal but as we started talking the conversation kept slipping away from design
10:54he'd ask about my work how i got into graphic design what i loved about it i found myself opening up
11:00telling him about the late night spent tweaking logos the thrill of seeing a client's face light up when i
11:06got it just right he listened like he actually cared his eyes locked on mine not glancing at his phone or
11:12the clock it was disarming you've got a passion for it he said leaning back in his chair his fingers
11:18wrapped around a coffee mug that's rare most people just go through the motions i shrugged
11:24doodling a spiral in the corner of my sketch pad to avoid his gaze i guess it's just what i do what
11:31about you architectures got to be more intense than picking fonts he smiled but it was tinged with
11:37something heavier used to be these days it's more about managing egos and deadlines the creativity
11:44it gets buried sometimes there was a pause and i could feel the weight of what he wasn't saying
11:49i wanted to ask to dig into that shadow in his voice but before i could his phone buzzed on the
11:55counter he glanced at it his jaw tightening for a split second before he flipped it face down
12:00everything okay i asked my voice softer than i meant it to be he hesitated then met my eyes just work
12:08always something but it didn't feel like work the way his shoulders stiffened the way his fingers
12:14tapped against the mug it was personal i could tell i didn't push though instead i pointed to the
12:20sketch pad trying to steer us back to safer ground so what if we add some open shelving here keep it
12:26clean but functional he leaned closer his arm brushing mine as he studied the drawing yeah i like that he said
12:34his voice low again like it was just for me you've got a good instinct for balance i swallowed hyper
12:40aware of how close he was how the air seemed to hum between us my pencil slipped leaving a jagged line
12:46across the page and i laughed to cover it okay maybe my instincts are a little shaky tonight he didn't
12:53laugh instead he reached out his fingers grazing mine as he steadied the pencil you're doing fine he said
13:00and his touch lingered just a second too long my breath caught and i looked up meeting his eyes
13:05they were darker now searching like he was trying to decide something for a moment i thought he might
13:10say more might cross that invisible line we were both dancing around but then his phone buzzed again
13:16louder this time shattering the moment he pulled back grabbing the phone with a sigh sorry i need to take
13:22this he said standing and stepping toward the living room his voice was clipped as he answered too low for
13:28me to make out the words but the tone was sharp almost angry i sat there staring at my sketchpad my
13:35heart pounding like i'd just run a mile what was i doing this was elise's dad married off limits i should
13:43have packed up my things and left right then told elise i was too busy to keep helping but i didn't i
13:49stayed doodling aimlessly waiting for him to come back when he did maybe five minutes later he looked
13:55different tensor like he was carrying something heavier than before everything all right i asked
14:01keeping my voice neutral he ran a hand through his hair forcing a smile just an old colleague nothing to
14:08worry about but i was worried not about his call but about the way i felt sitting there the way my skin
14:14still tingled where his fingers had brushed mine we went back to the sketches but the ease from earlier was
14:20gone every glance felt loaded every word like it was tiptoeing around something bigger i kept
14:26catching him watching me not the drawings and each time my stomach flipped in a way that was equal
14:30parts thrill and guilt so i said desperate to fill the silence elise says you're always working late
14:37ever take a break he leaned back his eyes softening again not often but nights like this they're a nice
14:45change i felt my cheeks heat up and i ducked my head pretending to adjust the sketch yeah well don't
14:51get used to it i'm not cheap labor he laughed and it was like the tension broke just for a moment
14:57i'll keep that in mind he said but his voice had that low velvet edge again and i knew he wasn't just
15:03talking about the project by the time i left it was dark outside the streetlights casting long shadows
15:10across his driveway he walked me to my car his hands in his pockets like he was trying to keep
15:15them from doing something reckless thanks for tonight nora he said standing closer than he needed
15:21to you're good company i smiled my heart hammering anytime i said and i meant it more than i should
15:28have as i drove away his figure shrinking in my rearview mirror i couldn't shake the feeling that i just
15:34stepped into something i couldn't walk away from that phone call his guarded smile the way his touch had
15:40lingered it all felt like pieces of a puzzle i wasn't supposed to solve but i wanted to god help
15:46me i wanted to have you ever felt a spark you knew you shouldn't chase but it pulled you in anyway
15:50drop it in the comments i need to know i'm not alone out here i tried to stay away i really did
15:57after that second meeting at julian's house i spent the next few days burying myself in work
16:02tweaking client logos until my eyes burned blasting playlists loud enough to drown out the memory of his voice
16:08his touch that look in his eyes that made my stomach twist in ways it shouldn't i kept telling myself it
16:14was nothing just my imagination running wild turning a polite compliment and a stray brush of fingers into
16:21something it wasn't julian was elise's dad married older completely off limits i wasn't that person the
16:29one who crossed lines like that i loved elise had loved her since we were 16 sneaking into movie theaters
16:35and giggling over stolen sips of her mom's wine she was my family the sister i never had betraying
16:41her wasn't who i was but every time i closed my eyes i saw him his dark hair falling across his forehead
16:47the way his smile held something private just for me and when elise texted me again a week later i knew
16:54i was in trouble nora you're killing it with dad's office her message read all bubbly emojis and
17:00exclamation points he's obsessed with your sketches can you do one more session he's got a deadline
17:06coming up and he's freaking out tomorrow night maybe eight pretty please my thumb hovered over
17:12my phone my chest tightening i should have said no i should have told her i had a client meeting a date
17:18anything but the truth was i didn't want to say no i wanted to see him again to feel that rush that
17:24dangerous hum in the air when he was close i hated myself for it but i typed back sure i'm in tell him
17:31i'll bring the good coffee as soon as i sent it i felt like i just jumped off a cliff no parachute
17:36no plan just the thrill of falling the next night i showed up at julian's house a little after eight
17:42a tray of coffee in one hand my sketch pad tucked under my arm the sky was dark heavy with clouds and
17:48the air smelled like rain was coming i rang the doorbell my heart doing that stupid fluttery
17:54thing again and when julian opened the door i almost forgot how to breathe he was in a black
17:58t-shirt and jeans casual in a way that made him look younger less like the polished architect and
18:03more like someone i could imagine knowing his eyes lit up when he saw me and that cedar leather scent
18:09hit me like a wave as he stepped closer nora he said his voice warm and low like he'd been waiting
18:15for me all day you didn't have to bring coffee but i'm not complaining i grinned holding up the
18:21tray like a peace offering figured we'd need it if we're pulling a late one you ready to make this
18:27office look like a masterpiece he chuckled stepping aside to let me in with you here it's already
18:33halfway there i rolled my eyes trying to play it off but my cheeks were burning we settled in his home
18:39office this time not the kitchen a smaller space all dark wood and shelves lined with architecture
18:45books a single lamp cast a warm glow making the room feel closer more intimate than it should have
18:52my sketches were spread out on a table and we dove into the project tossing ideas back and forth
18:57i suggested a sleek glass desk he countered with reclaimed wood for warmth i sketched a bold accent
19:04wall he leaned over my shoulder pointing out where the light would hit it his breath brushing my ear
19:09every move every word felt like it was pulling us closer like the room was shrinking around us
19:15but it wasn't just the project the conversation kept slipping like it had before into something deeper
19:21he asked about my dreams not just my job but what i wanted out of life i don't know why i answered so
19:27honestly maybe it was the late hour the coffee the way his eyes never left mine but i told him things i
19:33hadn't even told elise how i felt stuck sometimes like i was good at my work but not sure it was enough
19:38how i wondered if i was meant for something bigger something that scared me you're too young to feel
19:44stuck he said his voice soft but firm like he was trying to convince me you've got this fire in you
19:50nora i can see it i laughed shaking my head fire that's generous most days i feel like a candle flickering
19:59in the wind he didn't laugh he leaned closer his elbow resting on the table his gaze steady you're more
20:06than that you're not afraid to take risks to put yourself out there that's rare my throat tightened
20:12and i looked down at my sketch pad tracing the lines of a shelf i'd drawn just to have something to do
20:17with my hands you don't know me that well i said half joking but my voice came out quieter than i meant
20:24i'd like to he said and the words hung there heavy undeniable i looked up and his eyes were on me not the
20:31sketches not the coffee mug just me my heart was pounding so loud i was sure he could hear it
20:36i wanted to say something to break the tension but my mind was blank caught in the pull of his gaze
20:41that's when his phone buzzed again sharp and insistent slicing through the moment he flinched like he'd been
20:48caught and grabbed it off the table sorry he muttered glancing at the screen his face hardened just for a
20:55second before he silenced it and set it down but i'd seen the name flash across the screen
21:00lydia his wife everything okay i asked my voice barely above a whisper i didn't want to know but
21:08i had to ask he sighed running a hand through his hair complicated let's just say i haven't been great
21:15at keeping things simple lately i nodded my stomach twisting i knew what he meant or at least i thought i
21:21did elise had mentioned the tension between her parents the way they barely spoke at home anymore
21:26but hearing it from him seeing the weight in his eyes made it real made us real in a way that scared
21:32me do you want to talk about it i asked surprising myself i wasn't supposed to care this much i was
21:39supposed to be here for the project for elise not for whatever this was he looked at me his expression
21:45softening like he was seeing me for the first time you're easy to talk to nora he said most
21:51people they don't listen not really i swallowed my mouth suddenly dry i'm listening and he talked
21:58not about the office not about architecture but about himself he told me how he'd wanted to be
22:04an artist when he was younger before life and responsibilities and expectations took over
22:09how he loved his work but hated the way it consumed him left him feeling like a stranger in his own home
22:15how his marriage had become a series of polite silences broken only by arguments that never solved
22:21anything i listened nodding asking questions and somewhere along the way i started talking too
22:27about my fears my doubts the way i sometimes felt like i was living someone else's life
22:32waiting for the real one to start i don't know how you do it i said my voice barely above a whisper
22:38keep going when it feels like everything's falling apart he smiled a sad quiet thing you just do but
22:45nights like this they make it easier i looked at him and something shifted the air felt heavier charged
22:52like the moment before a storm breaks he reached out his hand hovering near mine not quite touching
22:58like he was waiting for permission i didn't move didn't breathe didn't know what i wanted and then my
23:04phone lit up elise's name flashing across the screen the sound of her ringtone was like a bucket of cold
23:10water snapping me back to reality hey i answered my voice shakier than i wanted it to be what's up
23:17just checking in elise said her voice bright and oblivious you still at dad's how's it going i glanced
23:25at julian who was watching me his expression unreadable yeah it's going great i lied my heart racing
23:32just wrapping up some sketches awesome tell dad he owes you dinner or something you're saving his
23:39life i forced a laugh will do talk later yep love you nora love you too i said and hung up my chest
23:48aching julian was still watching me his hand still close to mine but the moment was gone i stood gathering
23:55my sketches my movements jerky and rushed i should go i said not meeting his eyes it's late
24:01he stood two-stepping closer nora he said his voice soft but urgent i'm sorry if i don't
24:09i cut him off shaking my head it's fine we're fine i just i need to go he nodded but his eyes said he
24:18didn't believe me he walked me to the door his hand brushing my elbow as he opened it and that tiny touch
24:24was enough to send a jolt through me i didn't look back as i climbed into my car didn't let myself think
24:30about the way his voice had sounded when he said my name but as i drove home the city dark and quiet
24:35around me i couldn't shake the feeling that i'd left something behind in that office something i
24:41wasn't sure i could ever get back i couldn't sleep after that late night session at julian's house
24:46i lay in bed staring at the ceiling the memory of his voice his almost touch looping in my mind like
24:52a song i couldn't turn off every time i closed my eyes i saw the way he'd looked at me his hand
24:58hovering near mine his words i'd like to know you hanging in the air like a promise i wasn't
25:03supposed to want i told myself i was overreacting that i'd misread the moment that the warmth in
25:09my chest was just exhaustion and too much coffee but deep down i knew better something had shifted
25:14between us something dangerous and no amount of logic could erase the way my skin still hummed where
25:20his fingers had brushed my elbow i was supposed to be helping elise my best friend the one person who'd
25:26been there for me through every breakup every bad day crossing this line with her dad wasn't just
25:31wrong it was unthinkable so why couldn't i stop thinking about it the next few days were a blur
25:37i threw myself into work sketching logos until my hands cramped avoiding elise's texts with vague
25:43excuses about deadlines i didn't trust myself to talk to her not when every word felt like a lie
25:49waiting to spill out i hadn't heard from julian either and part of me was relieved maybe he'd felt
25:55it too that line we'd almost crossed and decided to pull back maybe he was smarter than me but then
26:01on a rainy tuesday afternoon my phone lit up with a message from him not elise just a few words can you
26:08come by tonight need your input on the final design 7pm my heart stuttered i should have said no should
26:16have made up some excuse but my fingers were already typing sure i'll be there i spent the rest of the
26:22day distracted spilling coffee on my keyboard checking the time every 10 minutes by the time
26:27i pulled up to julian's house the rain was coming down in sheets drumming against my windshield like
26:32it was trying to warn me to turn back i grabbed my sketchpad tugged my hood up and ran to the door my
26:38sneakers splashing in the puddles julian answered before i even knocked like he'd been watching for me
26:43he was in a navy button-down sleeves rolled up his hair damp like he just stepped out of the rain
26:49himself that cedar leather scent hit me again stronger this time mixing with the cool wet air
26:54nora he said his voice warm but edged with something i couldn't place you're soaked come in i'll grab you
27:02a towel i laughed shaking water from my hood i'm fine just a little damp you're the one who looks like
27:08you took a swim he smiled but it was tight not the easy grin from before yeah long day thanks for
27:15coming out in this mess we settled in the office again the lamp casting that same warm glow but the
27:21mood was different tonight he was quieter his movements sharper like he was carrying something
27:26heavy we spread out the final sketches tweaking the layout a corner bookshelf here a splash of color
27:32there but my mind wasn't on the design i kept stealing glances at him noticing the way his jaw
27:38clenched when he thought i wasn't looking the way his fingers tapped restlessly against the table
27:43everything okay i asked finally setting my pencil down you seem off he looked at me his eyes searching
27:52mine for a moment before he sighed just work stuff nothing you need to worry about but i was worried not
27:58about his work but about the way he was looking at me like he wanted to say more but didn't know how
28:03i leaned forward resting my elbows on the table come on julian you said i'm easy to talk to right
28:10so talk he hesitated then leaned back in his chair running a hand through his hair you don't want to hear
28:17about my messes nora trust me maybe i do i said surprising myself with how steady my voice sounded
28:24try me he looked at me for a long moment like he was weighing whether to let me in
28:30then he spoke his voice low almost reluctant there's someone from my past someone who keeps
28:37showing up stirring things up it's complicated i frowned my stomach tightening like an x he shook his
28:44head a bitter smile tugging at his lips not exactly more like a reminder of mistakes i thought i'd left
28:51behind i wanted to ask more but before i could the doorbell rang sharp and sudden cutting through
28:57the quiet like a blade julian froze his eyes darting to the door stay here he said his voice clipped and
29:04he stood moving toward the front of the house i sat there my heart racing listening to the muffled sound
29:10of voices through the walls i couldn't make out the words but the tone was tense urgent i told myself it
29:16was nothing maybe a neighbor or a delivery but the ear felt heavier now like something was about to
29:21break a few minutes later julian came back his face a mask of calm that didn't reach his eyes
29:27who was that i asked trying to keep my voice light he didn't answer right away he sat down his hands
29:34clasped tightly on the table an old colleague he said finally marcus he's persistent the way he said
29:42the name like it carried a weight i couldn't understand made my skin prickle persistent how
29:47i asked leaning closer is he trouble julian's eyes met mine and for a moment i saw something raw
29:54something unguarded not the kind you're thinking of he said but he knows things things i'd rather
30:01keep buried i swallowed my mouth dry like what he shook his head his smile faint and tired you don't
30:08need to carry that nora let's just get back to the sketches but we didn't not really we went through
30:15the motions pointing at lines and colors but the energy had shifted every time our eyes met it felt
30:22like we were saying something else something unspoken i caught him watching me again his gaze lingering on
30:27my hands my face like he was memorizing me and when i reached for a pencil at the same time he did
30:33our fingers brushed and neither of us pulled away nora he said his voice barely above a whisper and i
30:39froze my heart pounding so loud i was sure he could hear it his hands stayed close to mine not quite
30:45touching but close enough that i could feel the warmth of his skin i should have moved should have
30:50laughed it off but i didn't i looked up and his eyes were on me dark and intense like he was seeing
30:56something he'd been trying not to see julian i started but i didn't know what to say
31:01my phone buzzed in my pocket and i flinched the spell breaking it was elise again just a text this
31:07time you still at dad's tell him to chill with the late nights i stared at the screen guilt crashing
31:14over me like a wave it's elise i said my voice shaky she's just checking in he nodded pulling his
31:21hand back the moment gone you should tell her you're saving my ass he said trying for a joke but his voice
31:27was strained i forced a smile typing a quick reply to elise all good he's lucky i'm here but my fingers
31:34felt clumsy like they didn't belong to me we wrapped up soon after the sketch is mostly done but the air
31:40between us was thick with everything we hadn't said as i packed up my things julian stood his hands in
31:46his pockets again like he was trying to keep them from reaching out thanks for tonight he said his voice
31:52soft make this easier i looked at him my chest aching anytime i said and i meant it even though
31:59i knew i shouldn't as i walked to my car the rain still falling i felt his eyes on me and i didn't
32:05look back i couldn't because i knew deep down that marcus showing up wasn't just a coincidence
32:10it was a warning a reminder that whatever was happening between us wasn't just a spark
32:15it was a fire and it could burn everything down have you ever stumbled into someone's secret and
32:21wished you could unknow it drop it in the comments i need to know i'm not the only one carrying
32:26something this heavy i couldn't keep doing this that's what i told myself after marcus showed up
32:32at julian's door his shadow lingering like a warning i couldn't ignore i'd driven home that night the rain
32:38blurring my windshield my heart pounding with a mix of guilt and longing that made me feel like i was
32:43splitting in two julian wasn't just elise's dad anymore he was a man who saw me who listened who
32:48made me feel like i was more than just a graphic designer scraping by but every time i thought
32:53about him elise's face flashed in my mind her laugh her trust the way she'd always been there for me
32:59i was betraying her even if she didn't know it yet i promised myself i'd stop that i'd tell elise i was
33:06too busy to help with the office project anymore but promises are fragile things and mine shattered the
33:12moment julian texted me again it was three days later a friday evening and i was sprawled on my
33:17couch half watching a documentary when my phone lit up his name on the screen sent a jolt through me
33:23like i touched a live wire nora can we meet not at the house somewhere else i need to see you no
33:31mention of the project no pretense about sketches or deadlines just those words raw and urgent pulling
33:38me in like a tide i couldn't fight i stared at the message my thumb hovering my better judgment
33:43screaming at me to delete it and walk away but my fingers moved before my brain could catch up
33:48where i typed my heart already racing he sent an address a small cafe on the edge of town one of
33:56those tucked away places with dim lights and no crowds 8 p.m he added please i spent the next hour pacing
34:04my apartment changing outfits three times telling myself i was just going to talk to set boundaries
34:09to end whatever this was before it went any further but as i pulled on my jacket and grabbed my keys
34:15i knew i was lying to myself i wanted to see him wanted to feel that rush again even if it was wrong
34:21the drive to the cafe felt endless the city lights smearing into streaks of color my pulse matching the
34:28rhythm of the wipers against the drizzle when i walked in he was already there sitting in a corner booth
34:33his dark sweater blending into the shadows his eyes found mine the moment i stepped inside and
34:38for a second i forgot how to breathe nora he said standing as i approached his voice low and warm
34:44like it was just for me you came i slid into the booth across from him forcing a smile yeah well you
34:51said please hard to say no to that he smiled back but it was softer almost hesitant i wasn't sure you'd
34:59after the other night i thought i might have scared you off i laughed but it came out shaky
35:05scared's not the word confused maybe definitely confused he leaned forward his hands clasped on
35:12the table close enough that i could see the faint lines around his eyes the ones that made him look
35:18human not just the polished architect i'd always seen from a distance i owe you an apology he said
35:24i've been selfish pulling you into my mess i shook my head my throat tight you didn't pull me into
35:31anything i'm here because i want to be the words slipped out before i could stop them and his eyes
35:37darkened like i just said something he'd been waiting to hear the waitress came by dropping off
35:43two coffees we hadn't even ordered and i wrapped my hands around the mug needing something to ground me
35:49we started talking at first about safe things the project the weather the way the cafe's coffee was
35:54surprisingly good but it didn't take long for the conversation to slip like it always did with us
36:00into something deeper you ever feel like you're living someone else's life he asked his voice quiet
36:06his gaze fixed on the steam rising from his cup like you made all the right choices but they still
36:11don't add up i nodded my chest aching all the time like i'm checking boxes job friends rent but none of it
36:18feels mine he looked at me then really looked and it was like he saw every doubt every fear i'd never
36:25said out loud you deserve more than that nora he said you deserve to feel alive my breath caught and
36:32i felt the air shift the way it had in his office like we were teetering on the edge of something we
36:37couldn't come back from and you i asked my voice barely above a whisper what do you deserve he didn't
36:44answer right away his fingers tightened around his mug and when he spoke his voice was raw unguarded
36:50i don't know anymore but when i'm with you i feel like i could figure it out i should have stopped it
36:56there i should have stood up thanked him for the coffee and walked out but i didn't i leaned closer
37:02my hand inching toward his on the table julian i said and his name felt heavy like a secret i wasn't
37:09supposed to say out loud what are we doing he looked at me his eyes searching mine and for a moment i
37:15thought he'd pull back say something to break the spell but instead he reached out his fingers brushing
37:20mine deliberate this time no accident i don't know he said his voice rough but i don't want to stop
37:27my heart was pounding my skin burning where his fingers touched mine i knew this was wrong knew
37:33elise's face would haunt me if she ever found out but in that moment none of it mattered all i could
37:39see was him all i could feel was the way his touch made me feel alive like i'd been asleep for years
37:44and was finally waking up i leaned forward just a fraction and he met me halfway his lips brushing
37:49mine soft at first like he was asking permission i didn't pull away i leaned into it kissing him back
37:56and the world fell away it wasn't just a kiss it was everything every late night conversation every
38:02stolen glance every moment we'd been pretending this wasn't where we were headed his hand slid to my
38:08cheek his thumb tracing the curve of my jaw and i felt myself unraveling giving in to something i'd
38:14been fighting since the first day i walked into his house the cafe the rain the world outside it all
38:20disappeared leaving just the two of us tangled in a moment we couldn't take back but then my phone
38:25buzzed loud and jarring shattering the haze i pulled back my breath shaky and saw elise's name on the
38:31screen my stomach dropped guilt crashing over me like a tidal wave i didn't answer couldn't but the
38:38sight of her name was enough to snap me back to reality julian was watching me his eyes dark with
38:44something that looked like regret but not for the kiss nora he started his voice low but i shook my head
38:50standing up too fast my chair scraping against the floor i can't i said my voice breaking elise
38:57she's my best friend this we can't do this he stood too stepping closer his hand reaching for mine but i
39:04pulled back i know he said his voice heavy i know it's wrong but i've never felt like this not in years
39:11you make me feel like i'm not just going through the motions i wanted to tell him i felt the same
39:17that he made me feel seen in a way i hadn't thought possible but elise's name was still glowing on my
39:23phone a reminder of the line we just crossed i need to go i said grabbing my jacket my hands shaking
39:30i'm sorry he didn't stop me but his eyes followed me as i walked out the rain cold against my skin
39:37i got in my car my breath coming in short sharp gasps and sat there gripping the steering wheel like
39:42it was the only thing keeping me grounded i didn't look back at the cafe didn't let myself
39:47think about the way his lips had felt against mine but as i drove home the city a blur of lights and
39:53rain i knew i couldn't outrun this that kiss wasn't just a moment it was a breaking point a line i'd
40:00crossed that i couldn't uncross and worse i wasn't sure i wanted to have you ever done something you knew
40:06was wrong but it felt so right in the moment drop it in the comments i need to know i'm not alone in
40:11this mess that kiss in the cafe changed everything i drove home through the rain my hands shaking on
40:17the steering wheel the taste of julian's lips still lingering on mine like a secret i couldn't wash
40:22away every time i closed my eyes i saw his face the way his thumb had brushed my jaw the way his
40:28voice had cracked when he said i made him feel alive but then i'd see elise's name flashing on my phone
40:34her text still unanswered and guilt would crash over me like a wave pulling me under she was my best
40:40friend the one who'd held my hand through heartbreaks and bad days the one who trusted me
40:45without question and i just kissed her dad i'd crossed a line i couldn't uncross and the weight
40:50of it was suffocating i told myself i'd end it that i'd never see julian again that i'd bury this
40:56moment and pretend it never happened but even as i made that promise i knew i was lying to myself
41:02the next few days were torture i avoided elise's calls replying with quick texts about being swamped
41:08with work my stomach twisting every time i hit send i kept my phone face down terrified of seeing
41:14julian's name terrified of not seeing it i threw myself into my designs sketching until my fingers
41:21ached but nothing could drown out the memory of that night the warmth of his hand the way his eyes
41:26had held mine like i was the only thing that mattered i hated how much i wanted to feel that again
41:31hated how alive it made me feel even as it tore me apart i was spiraling caught between guilt and
41:37longing and i didn't know how to stop on the fourth day my phone lit up with a text from julian
41:42just a few words can we talk please my heart leapt and sank at the same time a sickening mix of hope
41:50and dread i stared at the message my thumb hovering knowing i should delete it block his number walk away
41:56but i couldn't i typed back where and he sent an address a quiet park on the outskirts of town the
42:03kind of place where people walked dogs and pushed strollers not where secrets like ours belonged
42:086 p.m he added i'll wait i spent the day wrestling with myself pacing my apartment telling myself i'd go
42:16just to end it to tell him we couldn't do this but as i drove to the park the late afternoon sun casting
42:22long shadows across the road i knew i wasn't going to end anything i wanted to see him needed to even
42:28if it was just to feel that rush one more time when i pulled into the lot he was already there
42:33leaning against a bench his dark coat blending into the fading light he looked tired his shoulders
42:39hunched but when he saw me his face softened and that familiar warmth spread through my chest
42:44nora he said as i approached his voice low like he was afraid someone might hear
42:49i wasn't sure you'd come i shoved my hands in my pockets trying to keep my distance
42:54i wasn't sure either but here i am he nodded his eyes searching mine i'm sorry about the other night
43:02i shouldn't have i didn't mean to push you into something you weren't ready for
43:06i shook my head my throat tight you didn't push me julian i kissed you back i wanted to
43:12his eyes darkened and he took a step closer his voice dropping
43:17and now what do you want now i opened my mouth to say something safe something to shut this down
43:23but the words wouldn't come instead i looked at him really looked and saw the same conflict in his
43:28eyes that i felt in my chest wanting something we knew we shouldn't knowing it could destroy
43:33everything but not caring enough to stop i don't know i said finally my voice breaking
43:38i just know i can't stop thinking about you
43:41he exhaled like he'd been holding his breath and reached for my hand
43:45i let him take it his fingers warm against mine and for a moment we just stood there
43:50the park quiet around us the world holding its breath
43:53i'm a mess nora he said his voice raw
43:56my marriage is falling apart my life's a tangle of mistakes
43:59but you you make me feel like i can breathe again
44:02i swallowed my heart pounding
44:04and elise
44:06what happens when she finds out
44:08guess she will julian
44:09secrets like this don't stay buried
44:11his grip on my hand tightened and his eyes flickered with something like fear
44:16i know
44:17he said
44:18i know it's a risk
44:19but i've spent years playing it safe and it's killing me
44:22i don't want to lose this
44:24whatever this is
44:25i wanted to pull away to tell him he was wrong that we had to stop
44:28but his words hit something deep inside me a part of me that was tired of playing it safe too
44:33i stepped closer close enough to feel the heat of him and when he leaned in i didn't stop him
44:38his lips brushed mine softer this time sadder like he was savoring something he knew he might lose
44:44i kissed him back my hands finding his coat pulling him closer and for a moment nothing else existed
44:50no elise no guilt just us
44:52but then i saw him
44:54marcus the man from the other night standing at the edge of the park half hidden by a tree
44:59he wasn't close enough to hear us but his eyes were locked on us unblinking like he was waiting for something
45:05my blood ran cold and i pulled back my breath catching
45:08julian
45:09i whispered nodding toward marcus
45:12he's here
45:13julian turned his jaw tightening as he spotted marcus
45:17stay here
45:18he said his voice sharp and he walked toward him his strides quick and purposeful
45:23i couldn't hear their words but i saw the tension in julian's shoulders
45:27the way marcus's hands moved sharp and accusing
45:30it lasted maybe a minute before marcus turned and walked away disappearing into the dusk
45:35julian came back his face pale his eyes avoiding mine
45:39what was that
45:40i asked my voice shaking
45:42who is he julian
45:43he ran a hand through his hair his expression grim
45:47someone who knows too much
45:49he said someone i can't shake
45:51i stepped back my stomach twisting
45:53is he dangerous
45:55not like that
45:56julian said but his voice lacked conviction
45:59he's just
46:00part of a past i can't outrun
46:02but he's not your problem nora
46:04i swear
46:05i wanted to believe him but the look in his eyes
46:08the way marcus had watched us
46:10it felt like a storm was coming and we were standing right in its path
46:14i need to go
46:15i said my voice barely above a whisper
46:17this
46:18it's too much
46:19he nodded
46:21his hand reaching for mine
46:22but i pulled away
46:23nora
46:24he said his voice breaking
46:26i'm sorry
46:27i didn't answer
46:28i turned and walked back to my car
46:30my heart pounding
46:31my thoughts a tangled mess
46:33as i drove away
46:34i glanced in my rearview mirror
46:36and saw julian standing there
46:37alone
46:38his figure small against the darkening sky
46:40i didn't know what marcus wanted
46:43what he knew
46:43but i knew one thing for sure
46:45this wasn't just about me and julian anymore
46:48it was bigger messier and i was in too deep to walk away
46:51have you ever had to keep a secret that felt like it was tearing you apart
46:55drop it in the comments
46:56i need to know i'm not alone in this
46:58the park was the last time i saw julian for a while
47:01but it wasn't the end
47:03i spent the next week trying to piece myself back together
47:06to be the nora who laughed with elise over coffee
47:09who sketched logos without her hands shaking
47:11who didn't jump every time her phone buzzed
47:14but i wasn't that nora anymore
47:16that kiss those moments with julian had changed me like a crack running through glass
47:20invisible until the light hits it just right
47:23i avoided his texts deleted them without reading
47:26told myself i was doing the right thing
47:28elise deserved better
47:29i deserved better
47:31but every night i'd lie awake replaying his words
47:34his touch the way he'd made me feel like i was enough just as i was
47:37elise didn't suspect anything thank god
47:40she'd call to chat about work
47:42her latest dating disaster
47:43the usual stuff
47:44and i'd force a laugh
47:45my stomach twisting with every word
47:47i hated lying to her
47:49hated the way her voice felt like a knife
47:51reminding me of what i'd done
47:52but i couldn't tell her
47:54how do you tell your best friend you kissed her dad
47:57that you're still thinking about him
47:58that part of you doesn't regret it
48:00i couldn't so i kept my distance
48:02skipping our usual hangouts
48:04blaming work
48:04hoping time would dull the ache
48:06but julian wasn't so easy to shake
48:08on a quiet wednesday evening
48:10he texted again
48:12nora i need to see you
48:13one last time
48:15please
48:16the words hit me like a punch
48:18and i knew i couldn't ignore him
48:19not because i didn't want to
48:21but because i needed closure
48:22needed to know this could end
48:24without destroying everything
48:25i agreed to meet him at the same park at dusk
48:28where the world felt soft and forgiving
48:30when i got there
48:32he was waiting on the same bench
48:33his hands in his pockets
48:34his eyes tired but bright
48:36when they found mine
48:37nora
48:38he said standing as i approached
48:40i didn't think you'd come
48:42i crossed my arms
48:43trying to keep my walls up
48:44i almost didn't
48:46but i need to know
48:47what is this julian
48:48what are we doing
48:49he exhaled
48:51stepping closer
48:52his voice low
48:53i don't know
48:54all i know is
48:55you're the first thing in years
48:56that's made me feel
48:57real
48:58but i know what this costs you
48:59what it costs elise
49:01hearing her name from him hurt
49:03like a splinter i couldn't pull out
49:05she's my best friend
49:07i said my voice shaking
49:08if she finds out it'll break her
49:11and i can't do that to her
49:13he nodded
49:14his eyes heavy with the same guilt i felt
49:16i know
49:17and i can't keep dragging you into my mess
49:19my marriage
49:21it's been over for years
49:22but that doesn't make this right
49:24you deserve more than secrets nora
49:26i looked at him my chest aching
49:28so do you
49:29but what do we do
49:30just pretend this never happened
49:32he smiled a sad quiet thing
49:35i don't think i can pretend
49:36but i can try to let you go
49:38for elise
49:39for you
49:40i swallowed tears stinging my eyes
49:43and marcus
49:44what's his deal
49:45is he going to show up again
49:47ruin everything
49:48julian's jaw tightened
49:50and he looked away
49:51his voice low
49:52he's
49:52someone i used to know
49:54someone who thinks he can hold
49:55my past over me
49:57but i won't let him touch you
49:58i promise
49:59i wanted to believe him
50:01but the shadow of marcus felt like a weight i couldn't shake
50:04i stepped closer
50:06close enough to feel the warmth of him
50:07and for a moment
50:08i let myself imagine a world where this wasn't wrong
50:11where we could be something more
50:13i don't regret it
50:14i said my voice barely above a whisper
50:17not all of it
50:18he looked at me
50:19his eyes soft and raw
50:21neither do i
50:22he reached out
50:24his fingers brushing mine
50:25and i let them linger
50:26just for a moment
50:27before pulling away
50:28we have to stop
50:30i said my voice breaking
50:31for now
50:32he nodded
50:34his hand falling to his side
50:35for now
50:37he echoed
50:37and it felt like a promise
50:39like something we weren't ready
50:40to let go of completely
50:41i turned and walked away
50:43my heart heavy but lighter too
50:45like i'd finally said something true
50:47as i drove home
50:48the city lights blurring past
50:50i knew this wasn't the end
50:52not really
50:53but it was a pause
50:54a chance to breathe
50:55to figure out who i was
50:57without this secret tearing me apart
50:59i haven't seen julian
51:00since that night in the park
51:02but he's still there
51:03in the back of my mind
51:04in the quiet moments
51:05when i'm alone with my thoughts
51:07i see him in the way
51:08the light hits my sketchpad
51:10in the smell of cedar
51:11on a rainy day
51:12in the ache
51:13i can't quite name
51:14elise still doesn't know
51:16and every time we hang out
51:17i feel that splinter of guilt
51:18sharp and unyielding
51:20but i also feel something else
51:22something stronger
51:23i found a piece of myself
51:25with julian
51:25a piece i didn't know
51:27i was missing
51:27i'm not proud of what we did
51:29but i'm not ashamed either
51:31sometimes
51:32the lines between right
51:33and wrong blur
51:34and all you're left with
51:35is the truth of what you feel
51:36i don't know what happens next
51:38maybe marcus will show up again
51:40stirring up trouble
51:41maybe elise will start
51:43asking questions i can't answer
51:45maybe julian and i will find a way
51:47to be something more
51:48or maybe we'll stay a secret
51:50a stolen chapter
51:51in a story no one else can read
51:52but for now i'm trying to live with it
51:55to carry this truth
51:56without letting it break me
51:57what would you do if you were me
51:59if you had to choose
52:00between your heart
52:01and your loyalty
52:02between a moment that feels so right
52:04and a friendship that means everything
52:05drop it in the comments
52:07i need to know i'm not alone in this
52:09and if you want to hear what happens next
52:11hit that subscribe button
52:12and turn on notifications
52:14because this story isn't over
52:15if you've loved diving into this secret with me
52:18check out the buy me a coffee link
52:20in the description
52:21to support more stories like this
52:22thanks for being here
52:24for listening
52:25for feeling this with me
52:26i'll see you in the next one
52:28you
52:30you
52:31you
52:33you
52:35you
52:37you
52:39you
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