00:00Okay, so I've seen girl math, and now dog math, but let's talk about cat math.
00:05If my bowl has no food in it, it's empty.
00:07But if my bowl has food in it, and I can see a micromillimeter of a micromillimeter of the bottom of my bowl, it's also empty.
00:15If a glass of water is left unattended, that is an open invitation for me to dip the entirety of my dirty-ass shit rakes in it.
00:22But if even a droplet of uninvited water touches me, that is the equivalent of Mount Vesuvius engulfing me in its molten hot lava.
00:30If mom is home, that equals one human.
00:33If mom and dad are home, that also equals one human.
00:37Because dad doesn't count.
00:39If I'm sitting in your lap, and a muscle even twitches, that's the equivalent of you picking me up, swinging me around by my tail, and launching me like a shot put, like that trunchbull did to that kid in Matilda.
00:50If it's 12 p.m., that means it's lunchtime.
00:53If it's 3 a.m., that means it's also lunchtime.
00:56So wake up and feed me now, you wench.
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