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00:00My name's Mike Rowe, and this is my job.
00:05I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty.
00:10Oh, what fresh hell is this?
00:12Hard-working men and women who earn an honest living.
00:15Ah, bad crock. I'll be right in a bad place.
00:18Doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us.
00:22Now get ready to get dirty.
00:27Coming up on Dirty Jobs.
00:29It cannot have any extenders.
00:31In Pennsylvania, the bologna making process is so secretive.
00:34Frank, I'm not exactly sure. What is an extender?
00:36I'm not quite sure.
00:37Seems like very few people know how to do it.
00:40Like a TVP?
00:41Frank, I'm not sure. What is a TVP product?
00:43I'm not quite sure.
00:45But, turns out one of the jobs had a familiar ring to it.
00:48Alright, I'll pull a little meat.
00:50And later...
00:51Basically, you crap in a bag that goes up in flames.
00:53Yeah, it does.
00:54On a fishing boat, Dirty Boy shows me a whole new meaning to poop deck.
00:58Guys, I wouldn't touch that.
01:00Full of bad things.
01:01And when the poo burner breaks...
01:03Oh, are you saying there's unburned?
01:04That's how we discovered it was broken.
01:06You can't even fathom what's down the hatch.
01:08Oh, God.
01:09About 100 miles west of Philadelphia, you'll find Palmyra, Pennsylvania.
01:30Population?
01:31About 7,000.
01:33In 1902, an ambitious butcher named Harvey Seltzer created a special bologna.
01:38The secret recipe has been handed down through generations.
01:41And today, Seltzer's Smokehouse Meats has become the world's largest producer of smokehouse bologna.
01:47Still produced the old-fashioned way in tall wooden smokehouses that each hold 12,000 pounds of meat.
01:53You could say this whole operation really is full of bologna.
01:57This is 2,000 pounds of meat.
01:59This is about 200 pounds of meat.
02:01His name's Ron, and that's Frank over there.
02:02How are you guys?
02:03We're super.
02:04Thank you, Mike.
02:05Am I right in at least this guess?
02:07That's 2,000 pounds of lean cow meats, about 90% fat-free.
02:11What is the difference between bologna and bologna?
02:13Bologna is a cooked product.
02:16Lebanon bologna can only contain skeletal meat.
02:18That's skeletal beef.
02:19It cannot have any extenders, no additives.
02:22Frank, I'm not exactly sure.
02:24What is an extender?
02:25I'm not quite sure.
02:26Like a TVP product or something like that?
02:29Frank, I'm not sure.
02:30What is a TVP product?
02:31TVP.
02:32I'm not sure.
02:33Text of vegetable protein.
02:34So it's not the steak part of the cow.
02:37No.
02:38Maybe it's legs.
02:39No.
02:40It's a four-quarter.
02:41When you get to the hind, it's a little too fatty.
02:43So this is what the four-quarter meat is.
02:44It's come down through the neck, back through the middle of the cow.
02:47What do we do first in the process of transforming this into your finished bologna product?
02:53Frank and his people, then, we're going to put a thermometer in it to check to make sure
02:57the temperature.
02:58We have certain standards for the meat when it comes in here as to what it looks like
03:01and the temperature and this type of thing.
03:03Sure.
03:04Can I be one of your people, Frank?
03:05You want to be one of your people?
03:06Yeah.
03:07If that's...
03:08Go ahead.
03:09Get down into it?
03:10Yeah.
03:11What temperature are we looking for, Frank?
03:15Anywhere between 32 and 39.
03:18How we doing?
03:19What's your temperature look like?
03:20Look at that.
03:2138 degrees Fahrenheit.
03:22Record the temperature.
03:23Frank, may I remove your probe from the meat?
03:25You may.
03:26Don't hurt yourself.
03:28Excalibur.
03:29All right, good.
03:30Yes, I'm the king of England.
03:32All right.
03:33Customers?
03:34Well, it's early in the morning and people want their baloney, so we should get started.
03:38After a few temperature and quality tests, the meat is transported to a fat removal station.
03:44Oh.
03:45So the meat gets up there by just a basic dumping thing.
03:50This will come up and dump.
03:52And the inspection table.
03:53It's right there, right where John is.
03:55How are you, John?
03:56Mike.
03:57How are you doing?
03:58I'm doing great.
03:59Sounds like one of those cows might still be alive.
04:01So, John.
04:02Yeah?
04:032,000 pounds of meat.
04:04What is your job here, exactly?
04:05Cut the fat and the cloths out of the meat.
04:06Uh-huh.
04:07Put it in the grinder.
04:08Grind up the meat.
04:09That's the grinder down there?
04:10Yep.
04:11Ron, could you hand me that meat hook?
04:12Not at the end.
04:13Not that I'm going to do anything with it.
04:14It's just the opportunity to hold one is something I simply can't pass up.
04:15Don't hurt yourself.
04:16Well, you can pull some meat down.
04:17All right, I'll pull a little meat.
04:18I'm just looking for...
04:20Now, so...
04:21You can pull some meat down.
04:22You can pull some meat down.
04:27All right, I'll pull a little meat.
04:29I'm just looking for...
04:30Now, so the fat you're looking for would be...
04:32I mean, what about that?
04:33Yeah.
04:34That's like a lot of fat, isn't it?
04:35Yeah.
04:39Show me what that is.
04:41Blood clot.
04:42So that's a clot in an artery.
04:43And this whole thing now goes?
04:45Barrel-like.
04:46That goes in an edible barrel.
04:50Pure fat.
04:51Yep.
04:52No good.
04:54All the meat processed at Seltzer's goes through a careful excess fat and blood clot removal process.
04:59To make sure that no more than 10% fat goes into their bologna.
05:04You're doing all right.
05:08There you go.
05:09Clot.
05:10Clot.
05:11So, I mean, in terms of meat quality, I mean, can you even compare bologna to a hot dog?
05:17Oh, hot dogs are great.
05:18I love them.
05:19Do you?
05:20It's one of my favorite foods, tube steaks.
05:26Now, when you say 95% lean...
05:2890?
05:29Usually 90%.
05:30This is 90% fat-free.
05:31Where does it come out when you grind it?
05:33Right here.
05:34Oh.
05:35Oh, that's worth looking at.
05:37So this is a bucket of your ground meat.
05:39Yep.
05:40And that meat gets mixed.
05:41Yes.
05:42All right.
05:43How do we do that?
05:44Okay.
05:45You've got to lift the lid.
05:46Scrape your excess off into the bucket.
05:50All right.
05:51Close enough?
05:52Yeah, that's good.
05:53You've got to check the weight.
05:54You need 330 pounds.
05:56Take whatever you have over that out and put it back up onto the table until you get to 330.
06:01332.
06:03There you go.
06:04There you go.
06:05Yep.
06:06330.
06:10Oh, the bottom opens.
06:11Yeah, the bottom opens.
06:12Oh, that's great.
06:13The mixer will blend in all the special ingredients that give seltzers its unique and delicious flavor.
06:19So the grind goes into the mix.
06:22And, Bob, you put more stuff in it.
06:24Yes, all the ingredients.
06:25I can do that right now and show you.
06:27Yeah, show me what goes in here.
06:28Okay.
06:29Okay, here's starter culture.
06:31Mix it around now.
06:32Starter culture.
06:33And what's it do?
06:34What's the purpose of it?
06:35What we're looking for is to reduce the pH to about below 4 to make sure that E. coli
06:39or semi-oil listeria are not going to be in there.
06:42Fucking sugar.
06:43Uh-huh.
06:44Just put that in there and spread it around.
06:46So we're making sweet meat here?
06:48This is regular bologna.
06:49Regular bologna's got sugar.
06:51It still has sugar, yeah.
06:52All right.
06:53There's dextrose.
06:54That's corn sugar.
06:55Corn sugar.
06:56Hate to tell you what that costs today.
06:57You can tell me.
06:58I mean, how much?
06:59A lot.
07:00Yeah?
07:01Salt.
07:02Put that whole thing in.
07:03Okay.
07:04Spice.
07:05That's one of the proprietary things.
07:06Wow.
07:07Yeah.
07:08Well, that's got a nice smell on it.
07:09I'm honored just to touch it.
07:10You just sprinkle that around also.
07:12Oh, yeah.
07:13Nitrate?
07:14So the myocloplin doesn't run away from it.
07:17What's that fancy word?
07:18Myocloplin.
07:19That's the red stuffing meat.
07:21It's bologna.
07:22It's bologna.
07:23It's the start of bologna.
07:24What's the finish?
07:25Smokehouse.
07:26Hmm.
07:27Something to look forward to.
07:28Coming up.
07:29All right, you meat princess.
07:30Send me 52 inches of your sweet best.
07:31All right.
07:32In the bologna business, it's all about how you handle your meat.
07:34You have to yank on it hard.
07:35I mean, can you yank the meat too hard?
07:36You've got to be firm.
07:37No, I don't think they can yank it too hard.
07:38But gentle.
07:39Pull it up like a panty hose?
07:40Yeah, there you go.
07:41Yeah, there you go.
07:42I have not pulled up a lot of panty hose.
07:43I hope not.
07:44And later, tackling a toxic turd burner.
07:49Pretty sure that's bad.
07:50It's a tricky task.
07:51It really sucks.
07:52But I'm afraid of cutting out talking about each other.
07:53Okay, the people are killing each other.
07:56That's why I'm telling you.
07:58Yeah, that's why I'm telling you.
08:01You're not telling you how to just use a antagonist.
08:04It's a tricky task that really sucks.
08:06That's pure poo-ju.
08:14So this is Brooke, and she's handling the sweet meat here on a hand truck.
08:19Normally, of course, I'd be operating the machinery,
08:21but Brooke has explained that I'm not qualified to do this,
08:24and I haven't been certified.
08:27You did a great job there, Brooke, bringing it in there like that.
08:29I assume this is where you wanted to end up?
08:31No, on there.
08:33Oh, well, then I think I've got to go a little further.
08:35Yeah. Can you please move?
08:36Yeah, I'll get out of your way.
08:37Okay.
08:38Brooke's no-nonsense when it comes to the hand truck.
08:40She doesn't take a lot of crap, and she knows her business on it.
08:44How long did it take you to get certified on this?
08:47About two days.
08:48Two days. See, we don't have that kind of time,
08:51and when the meat is sweet, obviously you don't want to linger.
08:56And there it is.
08:57Brooke, how much weight would you say we got here?
09:00About 1,500 to 1,700 pounds.
09:02So a little shy of a ton.
09:04Yeah.
09:04A ton of sweet meat.
09:05Now we dump it.
09:06We dump it?
09:07Yep.
09:08So here comes 1,500 pounds of sweet meat.
09:14You can smell the sweetness in the air or something.
09:17Now we come over here, and we've got to start running this.
09:20This is our control panel to make the grinder run.
09:22The flavored meat is ground again to the desired consistency for the style of bologna to be packaged.
09:29I am doing 52 long and seltzer regular meat.
09:3452 inches?
09:35Yes.
09:36So well over a yard is meat.
09:40Right.
09:40I've seen this process before with smaller, you know, casings.
09:45I can never get enough of it.
09:48And the pusher pushes it down.
09:51Well, this is, I hate to say it, but they almost don't need you.
09:55I need another casing.
09:56But you need me, don't you?
09:57Now, what are these?
09:58Is this just plastic?
09:59Yes.
10:00Okay.
10:00That would take a lot of intestine.
10:02Right.
10:04Put it on the horn, and it goes.
10:07Regular seltzer meat in a 52-inch tube.
10:11Right.
10:12May I?
10:12Sure.
10:13How long have you been here, Kay?
10:1423 years.
10:15Is that right?
10:16Yes.
10:16You love it?
10:17Yes.
10:18That's great.
10:20And off it goes.
10:22Beats the old days, huh?
10:23How'd they do this 23 years ago?
10:25You stuffed them by hand.
10:28Yes.
10:28Does your mind wander at night?
10:30You're nodding off, thinking, how much meat have I handled?
10:34Yeah, a lot.
10:35A lot of meat.
10:35A lot.
10:36My mind wanders sometimes, and I can't fall asleep.
10:38I'll look back and ask myself questions like that.
10:41You leave a little bit extra on hand?
10:43Yep, a little bit extra, yep.
10:46Okay.
10:47What's he do with them down there?
10:49He double clips them in the stockinette, get ready for the smokehouse.
10:54So they go straight in the smokehouse after this?
10:56Right.
10:56Do you prefer the sweet meat or the regular meat?
10:59I like the sweet.
11:00Who's this fella?
11:02That is our little Amish man.
11:04Does he have a name?
11:05Oh, we should name him.
11:06Woody.
11:07Woody?
11:07Because of the smokehouse.
11:09What do you think the red cheeks symbolize?
11:12Amish.
11:15Could be.
11:16I don't know.
11:17What's this fella's name?
11:18Mike.
11:19Mike?
11:19Yeah.
11:20I'm going to go chat with him.
11:21Mike.
11:22Yes.
11:23Mike.
11:24Oh, hi, Mike.
11:24How are you?
11:25I'm doing good, yeah.
11:26Just thought I'd swing down here to see what a moment or two in your life was all about.
11:30Okay.
11:31What's happening?
11:33Well, I'm pulling this stockinette tight like this here, sticking it under the clipper,
11:38and then it's clipping the stockinette.
11:40Right.
11:41Because they have to hang them out of the smokehouse.
11:43This is what they hang by, obviously, right?
11:45Yes.
11:46Is this something I could try?
11:48Sure.
11:49Just have to pull this tight.
11:50Like that.
11:51Stick it underneath there.
11:55Pull it tight.
11:56That goes there.
11:57Right.
11:57That goes there.
11:59Ingenious.
12:01Am I pulling it tight enough?
12:03I can snug.
12:04A little tighter.
12:05Tighter on the...
12:06Oh, like that.
12:07Yeah.
12:08Yank on it, Tom.
12:09Yeah.
12:09So we're preparing for 52s right now.
12:13That means a bigger stocking.
12:15That means a bigger casing.
12:18Basically, it's just more meat.
12:20Right.
12:20More meat.
12:21All right, you meat princess.
12:23Send me 52 inches of your sweet best.
12:26All right.
12:27Here it comes.
12:28Here we go.
12:28Do the meat.
12:34So much meat.
12:39Yeah, you have to yank on it hard.
12:41Harder than the nines.
12:43Right.
12:43Right.
12:44I mean, can you yank the meat too hard?
12:46No, I don't think you can yank it too hard.
12:49That's good to know.
12:51Okay, what are you laughing at?
12:57Yanked it.
12:58Come on, meat.
12:59Pulled it up like a pantyhose?
13:01Yeah.
13:01Yeah, there you go.
13:02I have not.
13:04There you go.
13:05Pulled up a lot of pantyhose.
13:07I hope not.
13:08Okay, and Mike and Brooke, I want to thank all three of you.
13:16Yeah, you're welcome.
13:16We want to thank you.
13:17The opportunity to come here and yank this amount of meat in the middle of the week,
13:22it's such a treat for me.
13:23Okay.
13:24All right?
13:24Thank you, Mike.
13:25Brooke, thanks.
13:27Okay?
13:29Yep.
13:29I'll leave my number.
13:31Okay.
13:31Okay.
13:35Coming up.
13:35Oh, yeah.
13:36Oh, it's going to smoke.
13:37If you can't take the heat, we just drop the meat from a one-story height.
13:40You can't have no broken ones.
13:42Stay out of the smokehouse.
13:43Oh, damn it.
13:45What's the retail value on this?
13:46$50.
13:47I mean, I can pay for maybe a quarter of this if you have some sort of installment plan.
13:52And later.
13:53This is just above and beyond.
13:54Except for the backsplash.
13:56It's not any fun in the mouth.
13:58There's a lot of pride in this job.
14:00Well, look at that.
14:01Get it off that thing.
14:01Get it off that thing.
14:01Get it off that thing.
14:01Get it off that thing.
14:05Get it off that thing.
14:07Once the raw meat is packed into a casing, it's wheeled right around the corner to one
14:13of ten smokehouses.
14:14Is that close enough?
14:15That's good.
14:16You're red?
14:17Yep.
14:18Mike?
14:18How you doing?
14:19Great.
14:21Raw.
14:22Raw.
14:22Got it.
14:23And raw because this is raw.
14:24Yep.
14:25That's all there is to it.
14:26Doesn't stand for anything?
14:28Nope.
14:28How many different colors are blue?
14:31Dark blue and red out here.
14:33So, good.
14:34So, first of all, this is a smoker.
14:36Yep.
14:36And obviously, it's full of smoke.
14:38And dirt.
14:39What is this?
14:40From the smoke building up over years.
14:42And under here, I guess, would be a fire.
14:44Yep.
14:44And we're going to hang our meat from the rafters.
14:47Yep.
14:47And these will hang for, uh...
14:49Two days.
14:49For two days.
14:50And get smoky.
14:51Show me what you do.
14:52Just pull them up like this.
14:55And it's hanging right on the nail.
14:57All right.
14:57Just hanging on there.
14:59Hey, it's a tricky thing.
15:00It is a tricky thing.
15:01I'm not used to handling this amount of meat.
15:03So, there's no fire in here now, obviously.
15:05I'd be up in flames, of course.
15:08How much meat would you say you've hung over the years, Red?
15:11Fourteen years worth.
15:12Fourteen years of meat?
15:14That's a lot of meat.
15:15A lot of hung meat.
15:17Ugh.
15:18Everybody here seems to have been here for a long time.
15:21I mean, it's a good place to work?
15:22Yeah.
15:22You like putting up with the weather.
15:25What's the worst part of the weather?
15:26The wintertime.
15:2710, 15 degrees outside.
15:29Well, it must be nice working in a smoker when it's 10 degrees now.
15:31Yeah.
15:31Of course, in August, 100 degrees outside.
15:34Yes.
15:35Well, they've been doing this, you know, pretty much forever, right?
15:38Yeah, about 100 years.
15:39I know this company's been around forever, but, I mean, you know,
15:42cooking meat or curing meat in a smokehouse, that's kind of ancient, right?
15:46Yeah.
15:46This is the last place in the U.S., I guess, that does it like this.
15:50Is that right?
15:50Yeah.
15:51Oh, that's cool.
15:54This place is like some very intimidating locker room.
15:58We do about 1,000 of these a day.
16:00You're kidding me.
16:01Nope.
16:01It gets tiring.
16:02Yeah, it does.
16:04All right.
16:05That's it.
16:06I mean, go back and do it all over again.
16:08And the next level?
16:09Those are all nine-pounders.
16:11How do you get up there to hang that meat way up there?
16:13Climb up like a monkey.
16:14Great.
16:15I'll look forward to that.
16:16All right, so now what would you do?
16:17You'd have to get the fire going at some point, right?
16:22Piece of wood.
16:24What you're going to do is lay the wood down where you're at on that cardboard.
16:28Mm-hmm.
16:28Throw some rags on top of it.
16:31All right.
16:32Pour some kerosene on that.
16:34The secret ingredient to any good fire.
16:36Yep.
16:36How much?
16:38Uh, that's pretty good.
16:41All right.
16:44Now, once that's going good, we normally kick it in with our feet.
16:47You don't want to get too close because the flame comes out.
16:49Yeah.
16:51We'll turn on the water right now.
16:53Pull that down.
16:54Yeah.
16:56That turns the water on.
16:58We can close the shutters now.
17:00You've got to close these windows up top so that keeps all the smoke in.
17:04How do you do that?
17:04You've got to come on to the other side.
17:06Why are they open in the first place?
17:14Uh, when you empty a house, it lets all the hot air out.
17:16That's locked.
17:17You want to do the other one?
17:18Sure.
17:24Yeah, it'll be quick.
17:25Yeah.
17:25Yeah.
17:27There you go.
17:28Okay.
17:29All right, let's put this back.
17:32Yeah, it's doing good.
17:33You want some wood in there?
17:34Should I put the...
17:36Bark down?
17:37Bark down, yeah.
17:41Oh, yeah.
17:44Oh, it's going to smoke.
17:45Crazy smoke.
17:46In a couple of days, the fermentation process will be complete.
17:50In the meantime, other smokehouses are finished and ready to be opened up and unloaded.
17:55I'm going to do the top one first.
17:56Yeah.
17:56Yeah.
18:04All right, now what?
18:07Let me go back downstairs.
18:08All right.
18:09Up and down, loading and unloading.
18:11That's the name of the game.
18:13We've got special trucks, too.
18:15We've got to use finished trucks.
18:16Of course.
18:17No cross-contamination.
18:18Nope.
18:19Just throw it in there.
18:20The smokehouse holds 14,000 pounds of bologna, about half that weight from the hefty 52-inchers.
18:32No.
18:32It's hard to believe a simple nail-head hanging system could make an otherwise easy job.
18:37So, utterly miserable.
18:38Come on in.
18:46Come on.
18:49Okay.
18:50All right, this one's full.
18:52That's full of meat.
18:53I'm going to push that out, and we'll get another one.
18:55Let's throw it all over again.
18:56No, no, no.
18:57All 228 of them.
18:59How many are in here?
19:0030.
19:02That's depressing.
19:03You just do the math.
19:04I can't.
19:05Card after card of finished meat will be taken to a station where the bologna will wait to be sliced.
19:11And we need another one of these?
19:13Get the other one.
19:13Something tells me you got one.
19:16All right, so, what's the plan of attack there, right?
19:19We've got to crawl up there and get some bolognas they need down.
19:22And crawling up there, we'd have to move some of these.
19:25Some of these over this way.
19:26Make sure you move them straight.
19:28If you move them crooked, they'll fall down on your head.
19:30That's, like, the best advice you can give.
19:35Okay.
19:38Now, the things we're standing on, of course, can roll.
19:40Yeah.
19:41So, it'd be good not to fall.
19:42I've got to yell for Chris.
19:43Chris!
19:44Chris!
19:45So, Chris is going to bring a truck over.
19:46We're going to drop the meat straight to Chris.
19:47Is he catching them, or are we just dropping them?
19:49We just dropped them.
19:50Oh, I love it.
19:50So, we just dropped the meat from a one-story height.
19:52You've got to drop them so they land flat.
19:55You can't go down like this or like this.
19:57Right.
19:58So, we can't have no broken ones.
19:59No broken ones.
20:00So, let me watch your technique there.
20:01Stand by.
20:02Perfect.
20:02I'm going for pure, uh...
20:08Pure metal.
20:09Pure steel right here.
20:10All right.
20:11Oh, look at that.
20:12It's like a gymnast.
20:14And the flip is good.
20:18I've had a hard time with the wall.
20:19Oh, damn it!
20:21I'm going to respect your meat.
20:25Oh, crap!
20:26What's the retail value on this?
20:28It's about $50.
20:29Three of them have gotten away from me.
20:30We don't know the damage.
20:31But basically, I missed the truck.
20:32It's $50.
20:33You probably have to pay for that, though.
20:34Normally, I would offer to.
20:36Right.
20:36So, I mean, I can pay for maybe...
20:38Maybe a quarter of this.
20:40Maybe.
20:40If you have some sort of installment plan.
20:43That's right.
20:44Oh, look at that.
20:56That's the sound of meat on camera.
20:59Doug, look what your eye did to that piece of meat.
21:01Well, studies show that when meat smashes into Doug's face, it splits right in half.
21:05$50, Doug.
21:06Two days' pay.
21:07Gone.
21:09All right.
21:09I mean, I get the basic idea.
21:11Yeah.
21:12Now, what's worse?
21:13Unloading them from here or loading them?
21:15Throwing them up is pretty tough, too.
21:17Throwing them up?
21:17Yeah.
21:18That's what we're going to do next.
21:19So, I'm going to learn how to throw up.
21:21Good.
21:21We've got to change shirts again.
21:23You're kidding me?
21:23There's a lot of changing shirts.
21:24I was just getting used to this shirt.
21:26Coming up.
21:27Oh, holy cow.
21:29Oh, here comes a high, hard one.
21:30I never knew playing with your meat could be so much fun.
21:33I've got to figure out if I'm right or left-handed.
21:34Like anything else, it's all in the technique.
21:37Pick them right in.
21:39And later.
21:40We're going in.
21:41Double team this, bad boy.
21:42Tonight's dirty boy and I take on a tricky toilet.
21:45Show this crapper who's boss.
21:47And get the crap kicked out of us.
21:48A whole list of things.
21:50Ah!
21:50Ah!
21:55So, the cycle here at the smokehouse is fairly simple.
22:02You load them up, you unload them.
22:03Then you load them up again, and then you unload them.
22:06Then you load them up.
22:08Then you unload them.
22:09This one's empty, which means we're going to load it.
22:16That's weird.
22:16All right, so you're placed and ready to hang.
22:20Yep.
22:20I'm ready to catch.
22:21Mike, are you ready to throw up?
22:23Yeah.
22:23All right, begin throwing up.
22:25What you want to do is just catch them.
22:27Huh?
22:27And they'll come up like that.
22:29And I want to put this part right here like that, because I've got to hang them like that.
22:33Gotcha.
22:37You're a good thrower.
22:39Look at that.
22:39It just comes right up here.
22:41It's like a pass.
22:42Like a great pass.
22:43It's almost as though I don't have to do anything at all.
22:46Meat.
22:48You're standing around, and then there's meat.
22:51Minding your own business.
22:52Meat.
22:54Hanging out.
22:55And there's some meat.
22:57What's coming your way?
22:58Meat.
22:59Gosh, if only I had some meat.
23:03My kingdom for a tube of meat.
23:06Has anyone seen the meat?
23:09My favorite byproducts are meat byproducts.
23:13Maybe one day you and I will meat.
23:16It's what's for dinner.
23:18Meat.
23:18My favorite thing that rhymes with C would be meat.
23:23My favorite all-time treat?
23:25It's meat.
23:27Ask me what to eat, I say meat.
23:30Oh, fancy.
23:32Probably not.
23:33We play games up here.
23:34Well, sure you do.
23:35It's past the time.
23:37Holy cow.
23:38Oh, here comes a high, hard one.
23:40What else you got?
23:42Give me a single end over end.
23:45Nice.
23:45Give me a reverse spiral.
23:47That's good.
23:48Oh.
23:58And...
23:58What do you say me and you mix it up?
24:00Alrighty.
24:05End over end.
24:07Trying to make them land right in your arms like a baby.
24:11A meat baby.
24:13Trying to figure out if I'm right or left-handed.
24:15I can't decide.
24:17I think I'm right-handed.
24:18So, from a meat point of view, this is what the spiral looks like.
24:24That's what the end over end looks like.
24:28And this is what your knuckleball looks like.
24:31Mike, I appreciate you letting me come down here and try my head and throw it up.
24:45You're welcome.
24:46Red, thank you.
24:48What can I see next?
24:50Go out this door.
24:51Go left to the double doors.
24:53And you'll see somebody out there.
24:55You'll probably go to the slicing room.
24:56The slicing room.
24:59I'm looking for the slicing room.
25:00That's me.
25:01How you doing, Chris?
25:02You're Chris.
25:03Man.
25:04It's a little cool in here, you know?
25:06You could hang meat in here.
25:09You ready?
25:10So, this is 52s, right?
25:12Go down.
25:13But you're going to do it so you don't cut into the meat.
25:15And then I'm going to toss it on the table here.
25:20Love it.
25:23There you go.
25:24That's good.
25:26Go ahead.
25:27Give it a good toss.
25:29Almost.
25:30And then off.
25:31So, you've got to yank the meat, but you don't want to yank the meat too hard.
25:34No.
25:34Grab it up.
25:36Oh, we don't take the whole table?
25:38Uh-uh.
25:38No.
25:39Okay.
25:41Going out this way.
25:43Yep.
25:43Put this end in first.
25:46All the big ends are that way.
25:49And then what you're going to do is put your finger right in there, and it'll go up.
25:56That's high-tech.
25:58Expensive machine.
25:59Half a million dollars.
26:02Great.
26:02Okay, you can load some more in there.
26:09Where's the work actually up?
26:10Over there?
26:11Yes, over there.
26:12What are the girls' names?
26:12Here's Bonnie on the scale.
26:14Uh-huh.
26:14Dixie is the one all the way on that side.
26:17Bonnie and Dixie.
26:18Yep.
26:18You go over there, and I'll turn it on for you.
26:20Excellent.
26:21All right.
26:21Great.
26:24The slicing machine cuts perfect lunch meat-style portions of bologna ready for packaging.
26:33Hello, ladies.
26:34Hello.
26:35Are you Bonnie or Dixie?
26:36Are you Bonnie or Dixie?
26:37I'm Dixie.
26:38That makes you Bonnie.
26:40That's right.
26:41I'm Mike.
26:41What are you doing, Dixie?
26:44You're going to pick up these pounds of meat and stick them in the cup.
26:48Nicely.
26:49Nicely?
26:50Nicely.
26:50I'll be nice with the meat.
26:52What are you doing, Bonnie?
26:53I'm catching all the ones that don't weigh.
26:56What's the proper weight?
26:5812 ounces.
26:59So you've got a scale.
27:00Yes.
27:01So everything that comes up here is at least 12 ounces.
27:05Yep.
27:05And that's what you're putting in there.
27:06Yes.
27:07Do you want to try it over here by yourself?
27:09Yeah, I'll try it.
27:10Okay.
27:11Hang on.
27:13You'll get a rhythm.
27:15Going to go back and forth from row to row and just stick them in.
27:18Gotcha.
27:24It's an impossible challenge.
27:25They just go too fast.
27:27The bologna waits for no one.
27:29The packaging machine is a ravenous beast that must be fed 6,000 to 12,000 pounds of bologna
27:34every day.
27:36From here, thousands of boxes of seltzer bologna will be shipped every week all over the USA.
27:42Unless, of course, there's unexpected mechanical or human failure.
27:46Done.
27:47Show me full steam.
27:48I'm just costing you money.
27:49I'm slowing you down.
27:49I just have to get caught up here.
27:52There's a lot of pressure.
27:53There's a lot of meat flying around.
27:54Lovely to meet you.
27:55You too.
27:56Nice meeting you.
27:57Nice meeting you.
27:58I'm going to see what else I can find.
28:00Slow and steady wins the race.
28:02Coming up.
28:03That'll kill you.
28:04A junior bologna maker schools me on dumping toxic waste.
28:08Dumping it in here is okay?
28:09Yeah.
28:09See, that was a bad plan.
28:13And crawling into toxic waste.
28:15The sludge and all of it just goes right in your boots there?
28:17Yep.
28:18You've got to applaud that kind of effort.
28:22And later.
28:22Oh, yeah.
28:23Look at that.
28:24Fixing a turd burner.
28:25Oh, my.
28:26It's almost worse than leaving it broken.
28:28Got to make your breakfast steaks every morning.
28:30I'll let you know.
28:37Well, as near as I can figure, there's only one job here at Seltzer where nobody cares what color shirt you wear.
28:42And that job goes on in here at this particular time of day.
28:49This will be Chris.
28:50How's it going, Chris?
28:52Pretty good.
28:53Yeah?
28:53Don't take this the wrong way, but if there's a totem pole, you're probably at the bottom of it, right?
28:59Yep.
28:59Just getting started here?
29:01Yep.
29:02And the official name of this job is what?
29:06Pit cleaner.
29:07If you don't clean, you can't put your wood down.
29:09Can't make the fire?
29:10Can't smoke the bologna?
29:12Nope.
29:12You don't have a hundred-year-old business?
29:14Nope.
29:15I don't want to overstate it, Chris, but the way I see it, this business would be nowhere without you.
29:19All right.
29:22I'll always take the opportunity to hop in the pit with a young, enterprising fella who's working his way up.
29:29In fact, Chris, why don't you get out of here and let me do the work, all right?
29:31All right.
29:31Give yourself a break.
29:32I can't help but notice that area on your lip there where you're eventually going to have a mustache is now covered with sweat.
29:39So is this just pure ash we're shoveling?
29:41Ash, bologna, wood.
29:43You figure you'll work here for a while?
29:46I don't know.
29:46My dad worked here 31 years.
29:48What's your dad do?
29:49He goes around and checks the fires and pretty much just bosses the smoke guys around.
29:55And the smoke house workers, they boss you around?
29:57Not too much because I know who my dad is.
30:01So on the one hand, you're the youngest guy here working his way up.
30:04On the other hand, you've got kind of an in with management.
30:06Yep.
30:07See, that's why you look so confident there leaning on your shovel like you're going to run the joint one day.
30:12Because you probably are.
30:14Is it important to clean the entire pit?
30:16Pretty much.
30:17So then it does have to be done every week.
30:19It would be a shame to drop all this back in there, wouldn't it?
30:23Oh, yeah.
30:24Okay.
30:26Hopefully the wheel don't fall off.
30:28That's what I'm hoping.
30:29And then we just pick it up and put it in.
30:38You know how much this weighs?
30:40Nope.
30:41Usually I'm not the one that dumps it.
30:42Well, this is a big day for both of us.
30:44Yeah.
30:44Here we go.
30:45One.
30:47Two.
30:48Just don't drop on your toes.
30:49Don't steal your toes.
30:49Three.
30:50Oh, jeez.
30:51All right.
30:51Now in the future, in the area between two and three, there's no talking, okay?
30:56I'm going to concentrate between two and three.
30:58It's all about getting it up there.
30:59Maybe we want to grab these arms.
31:00The arms?
31:01Yeah.
31:02Then we can get an L pile.
31:04Yeah, but isn't that back going to snap?
31:05No.
31:05Oh, here we go.
31:07Oh, that's a good idea.
31:08Okay, let's just put the tip on there.
31:10Oh, it's plastic, isn't it?
31:11No.
31:12Jeez.
31:13Oh.
31:13Uh-oh.
31:14Uh-oh.
31:15Not in the sea here.
31:15We're doing good.
31:16All right.
31:16So you're...
31:17Oh, I see.
31:17I see the wheels there.
31:18Hmm.
31:19They're complicated.
31:20All right.
31:20Let's try it again.
31:21Ready?
31:21Yep.
31:22All right.
31:24All right.
31:24You got it?
31:25Yep.
31:25Stay with it.
31:28Stay with it very high.
31:32All right.
31:33Now we got to get a broom and shovel and clean that up.
31:35What's that, by the way?
31:36Yeah.
31:36That'd be septic drainage where we catch...
31:39Sort of where the water goes into the well.
31:41Whoa.
31:42To the city treatment center.
31:44Heck with the ashes.
31:45Tell me more about this.
31:46This is all the bloney juice, wood.
31:49So why does it catch it here?
31:50Don't we want that gone or do we...
31:52No.
31:53That'll kill you.
31:54You know what?
31:55You and the death thing.
31:56The wheelbarrow nearly killed me.
31:58How do you get rid of this stuff?
32:00You pull it out by the handle and you carry it over to the dumpster.
32:03It just all just goes in the dumpster?
32:05Mm-hmm.
32:05Where does the dumpster stuff go?
32:07I don't know.
32:08All right.
32:08Let's not worry about that then.
32:10It's heavy, so watch out.
32:12Oh.
32:14Oh, that's awful.
32:16How are we going to dump this?
32:18The same way?
32:18Just carry it over and pick it up.
32:20All right.
32:20I'm going to follow you.
32:21Get rid of that wheelbarrow thing.
32:23It's bad.
32:34So you guys stop it from going into the borough's water treatment system?
32:37Because if we don't, we could be fined.
32:39Right.
32:40But dumping it in here is okay?
32:42Yeah.
32:42All right, well, Lebanon Farms.
32:45Mm-hmm.
32:46Coming at you.
32:50Oh, dear.
32:51Ow.
32:53See, that was a bad plan.
32:55The other one over there is just like this one?
32:56Uh-huh.
32:57Great.
32:57Let's go ahead and...
32:58It might not be as bad because that's the second one.
33:00It's whatever this one misses.
33:01Oh!
33:01Now we have to get all that stuff off it.
33:05How do you propose we do that?
33:06Just kind of bang it.
33:08Oh, all right.
33:14You got a hose?
33:19Perfect.
33:20So this is all connected?
33:21Yep.
33:25You may even have trouble getting this one out.
33:27Are you sure it's not sealed in there somehow?
33:33You're not going to get that out, son.
33:35This is sword and stone stuff here.
33:38What the hell are you doing there, Chris?
33:40Trying to get it out.
33:41Oh, you are.
33:43You are an enterprising young man.
33:46The sludge and all of it just goes right in your boots there?
33:48Yep.
33:49You've got to applaud that kind of effort.
33:52I mean...
33:54But still, brave.
33:57Huh.
34:01Yeah.
34:02Well, we'll get a metal pipe of pride up.
34:03That's what I'm thinking.
34:04That thing I used to shut the shutters with.
34:06That big piece of steel.
34:10I think it's so cool if I could pull it out on my own right now.
34:14Show the little whippersnapper up.
34:19Oh, sorry.
34:24I'm old and stuff, but I've got a lot of pent-up rage.
34:33Now, here we have...
34:34Chris, you're actually squeezing the sludge in your fingers.
34:37Uh-huh.
34:37Because that's just how you roll.
34:38See the little piece of wood and...
34:39Yeah, and all of it.
34:40Oh, yeah.
34:40Yep.
34:47Watching the hose.
34:49Up and...
34:50Oh, f...
34:53Whoa.
34:55I don't know how your life is going, son, but in mine, there's always some nasty little surprise at the end of the day.
35:01What would you do if you just let it that way and just hose it off, because then it can all run out?
35:03I was talking to you.
35:04Yeah.
35:05I was making a point now.
35:06Yeah.
35:07You're not interested.
35:08No.
35:08You're not...
35:08You don't care what I think.
35:10That's...
35:10You know, that's fine.
35:13Yep.
35:14Hose her down.
35:16You hose her down.
35:17Hose her down, Chris.
35:19I can't think of a better way to end a long day in a bologna factory.
35:23With me signing off, and Chris doing what he does.
35:27I'm going to check back, Chris, on you in a couple of years, see how your life turned out.
35:31All right?
35:31Yep.
35:32For now, good luck with the hose.
35:38Coming up...
35:39The incinolet is ready for action.
35:41After the dirty boy and I fix the poo incinerator...
35:44Load test.
35:45Load test.
35:46We need someone to put his butt on the line.
35:48Who could we get?
35:50Exactly.
35:52For as long as men have sailed the seas, great writers have immortalized their adventures.
36:04From Odysseus and his epic journey, as told by Homer, to the giant squid of Jules Verne's
36:09overactive imagination, to the albatross in the rhyme of the ancient mariner.
36:14Yesterday, I heard tell of a new legend about a toilet that burns its own poo.
36:19Legend?
36:20Fish story?
36:21Hard to say.
36:22Maybe one day I'll write about it.
36:24But first, I'll have to get to the bottom of it.
36:33So, Tony, back here.
36:34Right here.
36:35Mike.
36:36How you doing, Mike?
36:37I'm all right.
36:37How are you?
36:38Good.
36:39Good.
36:39There's a rumor going around.
36:41There is.
36:41Yeah.
36:42Word is, you're burning your poo on board.
36:44That is a requirement, yes.
36:46And during the long days of arduous work, when a man has to have a constitutional, it goes
36:50up in flames.
36:51That does.
36:52The Incinolet Model WB.
36:56I'm here because this is broken.
36:58Broken.
36:58So, before you can show me how it works, we have to fix the problem.
37:02Yes.
37:02And to fix things, they need to be cleaned up a little bit.
37:05Oh, are you saying there's unburned?
37:06That's how we discovered it was broken.
37:08All my questions are really pointless because the diagrams are really explained to me.
37:13Yes, of course.
37:14They don't have an illustration of a man with a vein standing out of his head, screaming,
37:18pounding on the wall, saying, for the love of God, please.
37:21As the sweat beads, runs down his nose.
37:24There we go.
37:25Basically, you're crapping a bag.
37:27This is a magic sack.
37:29Your poo and the bag are transformed into ashes, so cleaning the toilet becomes essentially
37:36just like cleaning a wood stove or a fireplace, except the logs being burned are of an entirely
37:42different composition.
37:44No, that is disappointing.
37:47Boom.
37:48Oh, no.
37:48First thing when troubleshooting a turd burner is removing any turds that aren't burned.
37:53That's the ash pan, but those aren't ashes.
37:56Those are not.
37:57No, that's the ash pan.
37:59God, what are you feeding these guys?
38:04Guys, I wouldn't touch that.
38:07See, that's demotivating right there.
38:10That's part of our problem.
38:11We can call that poo goo.
38:12Could go with diarrhea, but that's just medical.
38:16Doctor?
38:17I did.
38:18Oh, dear.
38:20I don't think there's a screw in that one.
38:22I can tell because I can do this.
38:24The other side could be a little trickier.
38:26Yeah, I'm thinking it will.
38:27We have special tools for that.
38:29Use caution.
38:31Caution's my middle name, baby.
38:35I'd be happy to assist you with that.
38:37Yeah, if I assist you and you do it for me, that'd be great.
38:40Oh, that's clever.
38:43Oh, look at that.
38:44Pops right off.
38:46Yeah.
38:48Ah, dear.
38:56This, my friend, is one blower.
38:58That's a blower in the Incinolette.
39:01Maybe we should clean her up a little bit.
39:02I'm pretty sure that's bad.
39:10I'm pretty sure that's bad.
39:10Try not to be too heavy on the water.
39:29There are electrical components in there.
39:30Pooh-colored suds.
39:34You know, that's just such a mixed message.
39:42Whoo!
39:43This is just above and beyond.
39:44You got it.
39:49Not any fun in the mouth.
39:50Sorry.
40:00Got away from me, man.
40:03Well, look at that.
40:04You could eat off that thing.
40:05Or you could crap in it and set it afire.
40:07What is the optimal poo-burning temperature?
40:10That would be approximately 1,000 degrees.
40:121,000 degrees?
40:14At what temperature, in your experience, do you see, you know, who's able to hold a flame?
40:19I think the flashpoint of poo is somewhere around 500.
40:22So you're going twice as far as you need to.
40:25How much flame does the average load require?
40:29The average load is quick and easy.
40:30An hour and a half of burn.
40:32That was 8, 10 people.
40:34You're going to be constant.
40:35You get the idea.
40:36We need, of course, to reconnect our element, the heart of the Incinolette.
40:43I figured that would be its bowels.
40:45We have a blower.
40:46Nice.
40:47The blower's blowing?
40:48The blower is blowing.
40:50A fire in this hole is better than what's usually found in it.
40:52Oh, yeah.
40:53Look at that.
40:56Oh, my.
40:57That's a whole other...
41:01Gotta make your breakfast taste different, won't it?
41:03I'll let you know.
41:05We've ruled out the heater coil and the blower.
41:07And whatever's wrong with the turd burner is still a mystery.
41:10But what's wrong with the air in this room right now is no mystery at all.
41:14This guy stays closed.
41:15Can you see anything?
41:17Nope.
41:18Wait a minute.
41:19I can't work with this poo staring me in the face.
41:24That's dirt, dude.
41:24Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, brother.
41:26That's dirt.
41:28I'm going in.
41:35Double team this bad boy.
41:36That's right.
41:37Show this crapper who's boss.
41:39What are the hazards of the Incinolette?
41:41Has anyone looked into it?
41:42I can imagine a guy lights up when he's sitting down there, leafing through some of his favorite pop-up literature.
41:48And then complaining.
41:48Perfect.
41:49Yeah, the Incinolette is ready for action.
41:54All right.
41:56Load test.
41:57Load test.
41:59Who could we get to test the Incinolette?
42:04Exactly.
42:04Let's clean this up.
42:11Barsky likes a nice, dry seat.
42:14How's it going in there, Dave?
42:20It burns.
42:21I guess it's working.
42:24Depending on what it is, of course.
42:27Who knows?
42:29Knock on the door in five minutes.
42:30If he doesn't come out, go in.
42:32Thanks, Mike.
42:32See you around.
42:33Have a good day.
42:34Getting dirty is harder than it looks.
42:41Actually, that's not true.
42:43Getting dirty is the easy part.
42:44Finding good dirty jobs, that's tricky.
42:47That's why we ask you for your help every now and then.
42:50If you've got a dirty job, go to discovery.com forward slash dirty jobs.
42:53Tell us all about it.
42:54We'll come out, and the whole lot of us will get dirty together.
42:58Trust me, it'll be great.
42:59But you've got to do it now.
43:00Discovery.com forward slash dirty jobs.
43:02Boy doesn't wear underpants.
43:04It's the middle of summer, you've got no underwear on.
43:05Now he's over-topping me with his camera.
43:07Every time I look up, it's like medium Jim and the twins.
43:12Establish that.
43:12So we've got a whole new truck full.
43:13It's my turn to throw up.
43:14We've got a whole new truck, now it's my turn to throw up.
43:16It's called a line reading in the business.
43:18It's one of the most insulting things you can do with what you call talent.
43:22Some of them need it.
43:23Some of them don't.
43:24This is what your knuckleball looks like.
43:27Good.
43:29All right.
43:31Not bad looking young.
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