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00:00I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty.
00:04It's been known to be called the greasy pig.
00:06See, that's a name I can get behind.
00:08Hard-working men and women who earn an honest living
00:12doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us.
00:18Now, get ready to get dirty.
00:24Coming up on Dirty Jobs,
00:25I wash up on the shores of a beautiful island paradise
00:29that has one little problem.
00:31The birds here puke on your head.
00:33Really?
00:34Oh!
00:36Welcome to Vomit Island.
00:38Oh, dear.
00:39Where I get some hands-on experience in bird banding.
00:42This is what the vomit looks like when it hits you.
00:45Oh, gross.
00:47But first, look at that.
00:49Behold the striped bass.
00:51I find out why the world's largest fish farm for striped bass
00:55is in the middle of the parched Mojave Desert.
00:57It's very exciting.
00:58And then I meet some unique fish that do the dirty work for the bass.
01:02In order to purify the water, somebody's got to eat the poo that they made.
01:06Exactly.
01:07That's fantastic.
01:08I join the little poo eaters in their native habitat, the toilet.
01:12Who eatin' fish?
01:13Who eatin' fish?
01:14Comin' at you.
01:20Oh, God.
01:21The plop eatin' fish?
01:22The plop eatin' fish?
01:23Oh!
01:28The plop eatin' fish?
01:29Oh, God.
01:30The plop eatin' fish?
01:31Oh, God.
01:32Oh.
01:33At a glance, the Mojave Desert may appear to be a barren and inhospitable place.
01:40But don't be fooled.
01:41The Mojave is bursting with life.
01:44Floral and fauna abound, as do an endlessly rich and surprisingly diverse number of species.
01:50I learned that on the Discovery Channel.
01:52What I didn't know was that among those species is the striped bass?
01:56Yeah, the hybrid striped bass.
01:58Go figure.
01:59This is Junior.
02:00Nice to see you.
02:01Nice to see you, too.
02:02Striped bass are in the tank?
02:03In this tank, there's about 28,000 fish.
02:05They're about a quarter pound.
02:07And we're going to go ahead and take out about 12 baskets.
02:11Then we're going to take them over to the vac shack and they'll vaccinate it.
02:14You've put some thought into my day, haven't you?
02:17Well, some, yeah.
02:20Every day here at Kent Sea Tech, Junior and his crew tend to over 3 million fish swimming
02:25in 100 concrete tanks spread over 160 acres.
02:30It's the world's largest fish farm dedicated to raising hybrid striped bass, which is a cross
02:35between your Atlantic striped bass and your freshwater white bass.
02:40Each year, they harvest over 3.5 million pounds of the fish right here in the California desert,
02:45where the farm pumps pure water from natural artesian wells and conserves this precious resource
02:52by using innovative recycling techniques.
02:56Whatever you scoop out, I'll go into this basket.
02:58Laundry baskets, basically.
02:59Yeah.
03:00I'll show you one time only.
03:01All right.
03:02Well, then I'll pay extra close attention.
03:06Slippery little guys.
03:15Yes, they are.
03:16Just flex your fingers, too.
03:18They'll get you, too, with the spines.
03:19Is that the spine or the teeth?
03:20No, that's the spine.
03:21They don't bite.
03:22They don't have teeth.
03:23Oh.
03:24Striped bass.
03:25They've got the stripes.
03:26Sure.
03:27Right.
03:28And this guy, girl, which one is it?
03:30No, no, I don't know.
03:31They've got to be a certain size in order to know.
03:33How old is this hermaphrodite?
03:34This is probably five months old.
03:36Uh-huh.
03:37Now, do we need to move around?
03:38I guess not.
03:39The fish are doing the moving.
03:40Yeah, there's so many fish in there that it's kind of hard to miss.
03:41We'll see about that.
03:47Ah, you caught one.
03:49How did I get one?
03:50Actually, it's two, but there's probably one left in there from last time.
03:54Ow.
04:02I don't understand.
04:11So, not to belabor the point, but the technique is to go in quickly, get this part of the
04:19net onto the bottom.
04:20Right.
04:21And scrape back all the way against the tank.
04:22Just scoop it straight back all the way against the tank.
04:24Okay, cool.
04:25And try not to let their little fins get you.
04:28Right.
04:29Because their little fins are annoying.
04:37Come on.
04:38Look at them.
04:39They're swimming all around.
04:40Some.
04:41Woo.
04:42All right.
04:43Good.
04:44Oh.
04:45I just lost about ten of them.
04:46Yeah, well.
04:47Tonight, I will show you how to fail at virtually every remedial task you can imagine.
04:56Look at that.
04:57We're getting good.
04:58Oh, I think I got it down.
04:59Yeah.
05:00Oh, yeah.
05:01Oh.
05:10We're going fishing in the desert.
05:11Come on.
05:12I'm taking these bass to a place called the Vac Shack.
05:17Junior tells me they need to be inoculated for, believe it or not, the strep virus.
05:22Like strep throat?
05:23Yeah.
05:24Kind of like the same strep we get.
05:25The streps get strep?
05:26They get strep too.
05:27Yes.
05:28To help get the bass out of the truck, they need to set up a water slide.
05:33And you want to keep it tight, so you've got to put some pressure to it and hold it against
05:41this tank.
05:42So what exactly will you do up there?
05:44Okay.
05:45This is our emergency stone.
05:46This keeps the fish alive because there's oxygen going through it.
05:48So the whole thing is carbon.
05:49Right.
05:50And air is being forced through it.
05:52Right.
05:53Through it.
05:54And this is pure oxygen coming out?
05:55Right.
05:56So then it just comes right out.
05:57Well, it's very nice.
06:08So this is where it all happens.
06:10Right.
06:11And what's your name?
06:12Eloise.
06:13Mike.
06:14Hi.
06:15You are?
06:16Sarah.
06:17Sarah.
06:18Hi.
06:19They're the official vaccinators.
06:20That's correct.
06:21Yeah, they're the vaccinators right there.
06:23Okay.
06:24Nobody really enjoys getting poked with needles, not even fish.
06:29So anesthesia is placed in the bath to help them sleep for a few minutes.
06:33It's like they all got Slim and Mickey at the same time.
06:40Drugs.
06:42You want to go somewhere around right there.
06:47I think it's there.
06:49I can't tell you.
06:50He's upside down.
06:51The utmost care is needed when injecting the needle.
06:53There's a lot of organs that could get in the way.
06:56All this is supposed to help the fish, not hurt them.
07:00Put him over here.
07:03Whoops.
07:04Oops.
07:05Be ashamed to die while you're getting vaccinated.
07:08There you go.
07:10Yeah, we have a clog down there now.
07:15Let's go and fix it real quick.
07:16We have a fish clog?
07:18Yes.
07:19Let's see if we can get them to go through.
07:20All the bass at Kent SeaTac are eventually inoculated, one group at a time.
07:30I got a little of the anesthesia in my mouth.
07:3325,000 bass come through the VAC shack every day.
07:36That's a lot of strep-free striped bass.
07:43I actually prefer to look at this whole experience as like a ride at an amusement park.
07:49You know, you wait in line.
07:50You get anesthetized, which is kind of the weird part, I suppose.
07:54But then you get thrown in that cool little slide.
07:56You come out of this little area right up here.
07:59And you pick up speed, and you go faster and faster, and you're in a dark tunnel.
08:03And it's very exciting, and all your buddies are...
08:06Well, they're not really screaming because, you know, they've been knocked unconscious.
08:10And then there you go.
08:11You just fall out the end.
08:14In a coma.
08:17Coming up.
08:18So basically, it's me and you in a toilet against 300,000 poo-eating fish.
08:23The revolutionary Poo Diet.
08:25Does it make fish stronger?
08:27Are the fish pushing back?
08:28Come on, Mike. You're staying behind.
08:30And later, I visit a mysterious, isolated place where the birds have a secret weapon.
08:37Yeah, it's vomit. And lots of it.
08:41Looking up with my mouth open, probably stupid too.
08:43That's not a good idea.
08:48It doesn't matter what kind of farm you're running.
08:53You've got to feed your stock.
08:55Striped bass are no different.
08:56They love to eat.
08:58The more you feed them, the faster they grow.
09:01The more you feed them, the faster they go.
09:06For the next eight months, these freshly vaccinated bass will swim in a 17,000-gallon oxygenated pool.
09:16What's your name?
09:17Alvaro.
09:18Alvaro?
09:19Yeah.
09:20Mike.
09:21Okay, since we're dressed the same, I'm going to go ahead and take a crazy wild guess that the two of us are going in.
09:26Right.
09:27Exactly right.
09:28What are we going to do in there?
09:30We're going there.
09:31We're going to scoop out the fish, throw it into the net, where it's going to be moved to this ice beans.
09:38Yes.
09:39And that's pretty much it.
09:40That's pretty much it for me, you, and the fish.
09:42No.
09:43Just the fish.
09:44We're just going to water.
09:4530% of the country's hybrid striped bass are raised right here at Kent Sea Tack.
09:51Today's harvest quota is 2,500 pounds, so theoretically, we just have to catch about 1,200 striped bass.
10:04Why did the rice get cloudy?
10:07Because it's probably dead.
10:09By producing farm-raised striped bass, Kent Sea Tech helps reduce our dependence on the ocean's resources, which have already been stretched to their limits through overfishing.
10:21So this is basically the end of the line for these guys.
10:28All the fish that leave Kent leave with a tag on them.
10:32These guys are pulling the fish out that we just removed from the big giant container.
10:38Once the tag goes in them, Al weighs them and grades them.
10:42It's divided into boxes from 2 to 8.
10:45It's 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
10:49So it starts with 2.
10:50It starts with 2.
10:51See, a lot of people would think you'd start with 1.
10:53Yeah, I know.
10:54Whatever number the bass receives, it ends up in a box.
10:58And the box ends up on a refrigerated truck.
11:01But the water that the bass swam in, that stays here.
11:04And what happens to the water is a very interesting and very dirty story.
11:09This is basically where our wastewater treatment begins.
11:12We have about 300,000 tilapia and carp in here.
11:16Right.
11:17To get rid of a lot of the particulates.
11:19Particulate?
11:20Poo?
11:21Yes.
11:22Once they reach up to a harvest size, we harvest them out and sell them.
11:29Ah, the fish that help purify the dirty water by eating uneaten food and poo will then be sold on the market for people to eat.
11:41Right, exactly.
11:42That's fantastic.
11:44Al is basically in the toilet right now, isn't he?
11:47Yes, he is.
11:48I'm getting in with him.
11:50Yes, well, good luck.
11:52Oh, yeah.
11:53How are you, Al?
11:57All right.
11:58Did you miss me?
11:59A little bit.
12:01So, Alvaro, what is this thing called?
12:03This is a grater.
12:04A grater.
12:05We're going to push it forward.
12:07And what it's going to do, all the small fish are going to come out.
12:11Yes.
12:12And the big fish are going to stay in, which are the ones we're going to take out.
12:15So, basically, it's me and you in a toilet against 300,000 poo-eating fish.
12:19That's right.
12:20Got it.
12:21Do we push it all the way to the end?
12:25Yes.
12:26Oh.
12:27Well, this might take a while.
12:29They usually get down there in about a minute.
12:31Is that right?
12:32Okay?
12:33We're timing you.
12:34Why is it so freaking heavy?
12:37Are the fish pushing back?
12:41Come on, Mike.
12:42You're staying behind.
12:43My feet are slipping over a coating of poo.
12:50What's the purpose of the ropes here, Junior?
12:52We get a person that can't keep up with the other guy.
12:56We kind of give him a hand by pulling the rope for him.
13:00I don't see anybody over here waiting to help me.
13:03As you push, lift it up a little bit.
13:06Just a little bit.
13:09See?
13:10Yes, there we go.
13:11There we go.
13:12Pushing a 500-pound grater through a toilet.
13:15Here you go.
13:17Oh!
13:18Why weren't we doing this before?
13:19I wanted you to try hard.
13:22Yeah.
13:23Well, mission accomplished there, funny man.
13:25Okay, that's probably good right there.
13:32Oh, yeah.
13:33Here's our net.
13:3730,000 poo-eating fish.
13:39Coming at you.
13:44Ah, you dirty poo-eaters!
13:47The tilapia and carp will eat over 30% of the solid matter in this dirty water.
13:55They're sold live to wholesalers in California, who in turn sell the fish to restaurants,
14:00fish markets, and food stores.
14:04You may have some water on your lids on that one.
14:06I can't be entirely sure.
14:09The folks here tell me that the tilapia is a white, mild-flavored fish,
14:13perfect for grilling or filleting, while the carp are most often steamed.
14:17Yeah.
14:19Just so you know.
14:22Here, we're sorting the larger fish that are ready for market from the smaller guys who need
14:26more time in the toilet to grow big and strong.
14:30It's got to be a very confusing day if you're a poo-eating fish.
14:34One minute you're down there, and then two guys push you all the way over here,
14:37and then you get lifted up and thrown right back where you were.
14:40I mean, if you're a carp, your destiny is pretty much spelled out by your name.
14:46I mean, you just rearrange the letters, and there's no doubt about what you're going to
14:49spend your life eating.
14:51So, if you're a carp or a tilapia, it basically works out like this for you.
14:56You spend your whole life eating the poo of the bass.
15:00Eventually, you grow big and strong on their poo, and then you get shipped off to market so people can eat you.
15:15Coming up.
15:16This little plastic circle has a very, very dirty job.
15:19Discover the secret ingredient for pure water.
15:21Once the water comes through here, it's as good as new.
15:24And later, beautiful beaches, great weather, rustic hiking trails,
15:30and bird puke right on your head.
15:33It feels like there might be some on my nose.
15:34Join me as I regurgitate some fascinating facts about a little slice of heaven called Vomit Island.
15:47You ready?
15:52What happened?
15:54I don't know.
15:55We got into a little accident.
15:56Come on, man.
15:57We got no floor.
15:59There is nothing but wires.
16:01This can't be legal.
16:03But think of the money you've saved on windshield wiper fluid.
16:09I guess I won't be buckling up for safety.
16:12I don't think so.
16:19Inside this tank truck, we've got a big load of tilapia and carp.
16:22The good fish that help clean the water here by eating the poo of the striped bass.
16:28We're taking them to a holding tank where they'll be fattened up from market.
16:31We're here.
16:32Watch out with the water.
16:41No.
16:43Okay.
16:44Okay.
16:45There.
16:46There go our fish.
16:47There are a couple that don't seem to want to go.
16:49You can go inside and take them out.
16:50What?
16:51There's always a couple that don't want to go.
16:52That's a tilapia.
16:53You can tell by the lips.
16:54Huh?
16:55Look at that.
16:56Very handsome.
16:57Hey Mike.
16:58Take them out before they die.
17:00There are a couple that don't seem to want to go.
17:03You can go inside and take them out.
17:05What?
17:11There's always a couple that don't want to go.
17:15That's a tilapia.
17:17You can tell by the lips.
17:20Look at that.
17:20Very handsome.
17:21Hey, Mike, take them out before they die.
17:24It's nice.
17:26You can hear Al yelling at me from the outside.
17:28He's afraid they're going to die.
17:30And they are.
17:32You're swimming the wrong way, dude.
17:34You're not a salmon.
17:35Downstream.
17:36Okay, he's in the pipe.
17:37He's just not swimming.
17:39Come on, make him swim.
17:42There's nothing coming out of the pipe.
17:45All right, hang on.
17:47I got invited to tail.
17:49Here he comes.
17:52Is he out?
17:54Well, you tell me, Einstein.
17:56I think you had the pipe pointing up in the air.
17:58All right, Mike, you can get out of there now.
18:02All right, all the fish are gone.
18:03I'm coming out.
18:07Oh, crap.
18:08I don't think I can get out of here.
18:28I don't want to die in a fish tank.
18:31Surely I can do this.
18:33Hey, what happened, Mike?
18:34I'm just trying to get out of your stupid truck.
18:43I'm out.
18:45Come on, Mike.
18:45You're not done yet.
18:46So the fish are carted off to market, and the dirty water moves on to phase two of the treatment
18:52process, where these four rotating filters remove even more poo and other solid materials.
18:58Then some ingenious little devices are added to the water to make it even cleaner.
19:03This little plastic circle has a very, very dirty job.
19:08It's called a condo, and thousands of them circulate through this area because, as you can see, residents move into the condo in the form of bacteria.
19:17The process is simple.
19:19Bacteria attracts the ammonia that naturally is produced by the fish and then converts it into a harmless nitrate.
19:27It's science.
19:29I still wouldn't drink it, though.
19:30After the bacteria sets up home in the condos, they're removed, and the water is sent into the estuary.
19:38Once the water comes through here, it's as good as new.
19:40It can start the cycle all over again.
19:42And the fish love that.
19:44So are the birds.
19:47And so we come to the end of our fish story here in the Mojave Desert.
19:50Behold the striped bass, the star of the show.
19:54Delicious, raw, fantastic, grilled.
19:56And next to it, the lowly tilapia, the fish of the future.
20:00Funny thing is, these guys need each other to survive out here.
20:04True, for the moment, the striped bass is getting all the glory while the tilapia is otherwise engaged, eating its poo.
20:10But don't be fooled.
20:12Tilapia tastes great.
20:14Hmm.
20:15Reminds me of...
20:17Bass.
20:22Coming up.
20:23It's like that scene from Lost, you know, right after the plane crashed.
20:27On this deserted island, there is a secret so foul, it makes these birds sick to their stomachs.
20:34Go!
20:35Go!
20:36Go!
20:37They sound like softballs.
20:38It's called Vomit Island.
20:39It's lovely.
20:40And I'll be doing some important research here.
20:42It's going great.
20:44Go!
20:46You know, when a full-grown man sees a hunk of fully-formed vomit come tumbling from the heavens and he gets it in the shot, it's a very big day.
20:59Today I've come to Ohio to take a little boat ride with some government workers and volunteers.
21:04Our destination is West Sister Island out there on Lake Erie.
21:08There's also an East Sister Island and a Middle Sister Island.
21:11We don't have time for the whole family.
21:13So we're going to West Sister Island, where during the Second World War, they used it for target practice and ordinance testing.
21:20Today it's a national wildlife refuge for herons and aigrets and comarants.
21:23There's still a lot of target practice going on, though.
21:28Exactly what kind of target practice goes on there?
21:31Well, they haven't told me yet.
21:34What they have told me is that even though this 82-acre wilderness area looks like a beautiful paradise,
21:39something foul is going on in the trees, where tens of thousands of birds are, for some mysterious reason, throwing up.
21:49The locals call the place Vomit Island, and no humans are allowed here,
21:56except for one day a year when the island is invaded by a crack team of researchers.
22:01That's West Sister Island out there.
22:11Today the crew and I are going to take a ride, do some important work with egrets and herons and comarants.
22:19Well, not the smoothest disembark of my life, but we're here on West Sister Island.
22:32Now we've got to get our stuff together.
22:34Barsky's out there in one of these boats.
22:35We're all coming aboard.
22:37I lost my hat, so they've replaced it with one of these.
22:41Apparently it's important to have a hat, because the birds will attack you.
22:46It's like that scene from Lost, you know, right after the plane crashed.
22:49Except we didn't have a plane.
22:51That's Doug there. I think he's my boss for the day.
22:53I can't be sure.
22:54Slave driver.
22:55He's everybody's boss.
22:56Some things to watch out for out there.
22:58Of course, we've got stinging nettle.
22:59We've got poison ivy.
23:01Just kind of keep hygiene in the back of your head, too, because there's a lot of guano out there.
23:06The volunteers are standing around waiting patiently for someone in charge to give them the go-ahead,
23:10and this would be the guy in charge, Doug Brewer.
23:13What's your official title, Doug?
23:14I'm the refuge manager here at West Sister Island.
23:16And you are with an entity?
23:18I'm with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
23:20And what entity are those people with?
23:22Well, there are actually three groups of people here today.
23:24We've got the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service folks.
23:26We've got the Ohio Department of Natural Resources Division of Wildlife People.
23:31And we've got some volunteers from Black Swamp Bird Observatory,
23:34which is a not-for-profit ornithological research organization.
23:37Not-for-profit ornithological research organization.
23:40Exactly.
23:40Plus you have our crew.
23:41Right.
23:42So four entities.
23:43Four entities.
23:43You would have to get tens of thousands of people on here to rival the number of birds that seem to call this home.
23:49Right.
23:50This refuge has about 7,000 active nests on it.
23:54There are about nine species of birds out here that nest.
23:57And our job specifically today is to do what?
24:02We're going to ban some young of the year birds.
24:04Young what?
24:05Young?
24:05Young of the year.
24:06Just the birds that are just hatched this year.
24:08So that if one of these birds should show up in Mexico or Canada and is recaptured or found dead,
24:15take a look at the number on the ban and you can tell where it was originated.
24:18Tell me about the vomit.
24:21There's a rumor circulating that we're going to be vomited on by the birds.
24:25Go.
24:25Go.
24:26I'm sorry.
24:27Go.
24:27Well, one of the lovely things about this island is that you have all of these thousands of nests above you in the trees.
24:34And for the most part, these birds are relatively undisturbed.
24:37When they feel threatened, as they will when we're walking around underneath them,
24:40they have a tendency to regurgitate.
24:43Oh.
24:44Oh.
24:45Am I going to get peed on?
24:47We can only hope.
24:47Am I going to get pooed on?
24:49Probably.
24:50And I'm going to be vomited upon.
24:51In all likelihood.
24:54I don't know what we're waiting for.
24:55Let's go.
24:59These are the guys?
25:00This is the banding crew.
25:02Hello, banding crew.
25:02I'm Mike.
25:03Hi, Mike.
25:04Hi, Mike.
25:04Hi, everybody.
25:05So who am I going to be working with primarily?
25:08Julie Shea Castle and Kim Kaufman, both from the Black Swamp Bird Observatory.
25:13Julie and Kim.
25:15Got it.
25:15Okay.
25:17When you're hiking on this isolated island, it's important to step lightly and keep moving
25:23if you want to avoid getting hit by the bird vomit.
25:26Go!
25:28They sound like softballs.
25:30However, they failed to mention it's best not to touch any leaves covered with this mysterious white substance.
25:36Yeah, that's not whipped cream.
25:38No, it's bird poo.
25:40Poo here.
25:42Poo on the ground.
25:43Whole island's encrusted in crap.
25:46Ah, vomit island in the spring.
25:49It's lovely.
25:51It's poison ivy.
25:52It's poison ivy there.
25:53These are U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service aluminum leg bands.
25:58They have numbers on them, like your Social Security number.
26:00What was that, by the way?
26:01What number will be?
26:03Something just plopped down here.
26:05I think it was a fish, right there.
26:07Right here.
26:08Here, would you like some?
26:09That was breakfast.
26:13What the heck did it...
26:15Over your head?
26:17That's one of the responses...
26:18This is their vomit?
26:19This is one of the responses when a predator comes along.
26:22They'll either puke on you or come out the other end to get the predator to go away.
26:28And most normal people would be gone by now, yes.
26:31This is the vomit.
26:32This is what the vomit looks like when it hits you.
26:37Oh, gross.
26:39I understood the potential for vomit, but I didn't know they were...
26:42That doesn't look like vomit.
26:43That looks like an actual fish.
26:44That's whole fish.
26:47I mean, obviously the birds don't chew.
26:49Right.
26:49They just swallow them whole.
26:51Swallow them whole, then their digestive juices do the rest.
26:53That's what goes down their gullet and...
26:56Yeah, so if you get hit on the head by a bigger youngster, it might hurt.
27:01Oh, right behind you.
27:05No one told me it was undigested vomit.
27:07Well, it's pre-digested, I guess you could say.
27:11Anyway.
27:12That looked like a...
27:12That fish looked like you could still swim.
27:14That's right.
27:15That's right.
27:16They come in all sorts of sizes as well.
27:19Looking up with my mouth open, probably stupid, too.
27:22That's not a good idea.
27:23No.
27:23Coming up.
27:25This is horrific.
27:27Vomit?
27:27Well, that's the least of my problems.
27:30Would you stick your hand in there?
27:31Really?
27:32Get to it.
27:33You want us to send a girl up, or are you going to get right there?
27:37That is hard, woman.
27:38This island is extremely important for colonial wading birds.
27:52It holds 40% of all the nesting herons and egrets in the U.S. Great Lakes.
27:56So we're banding a sample of them to see where these birds go after they leave this important island.
28:01How are we going to catch them?
28:02Are they just going to let us pick them up?
28:03Um, this small, we can usually grab them and bring them down.
28:10And if they're bigger, they'll use their beak as a weapon, so we need to be careful about it.
28:15Tell me about that again, the weaponry.
28:18The weapon, the beak on them.
28:20Yeah.
28:22They use it as a defense mechanism.
28:24They'll shoot it right at your face, usually.
28:27Is this why I was given these?
28:28That's why you were given those, yes.
28:30I should put them on then, I suppose.
28:32Yeah, that would be a good idea.
28:33Will they go for your eyes, intentionally?
28:35Bring them!
28:36Um, they just go for anything that's in their way, basically.
28:41Good.
28:42Yes.
28:42So, normally we just bring a ladder over if we can have a ladder.
28:45Yeah, let's bring in a ladder.
28:47Ladder coming through.
28:53Yeah, so, what do we want to do?
28:56Do you want to go grab the first one?
28:57Do you want to go grab the ladder?
29:00Thick enough, right?
29:01Am I up to be?
29:02Yes.
29:02Can you climb up this ladder and get this?
29:04Just cup your hand.
29:05There you go.
29:06Those are small enough they won't come at your face.
29:10And tell me again what I'm looking at?
29:11You are looking at, looks like a cattle egret chick.
29:16A cattle, and how old is she, he?
29:18Who knows?
29:20Probably about four days.
29:21That's all?
29:22Well, maybe six.
29:23Put it on upside down because it wears from the bottom up.
29:26Right.
29:27And not too tight so they can grow into it, right?
29:30No, this is, that's as big as their leg's going to get.
29:32It's actually going to shrink.
29:34Really?
29:35If it's all fleshy right there, it'll shrink and harden up like a reptile leg kind of looking
29:39thing.
29:40Then guess what he just did to you?
29:41I don't know.
29:42What'd he do?
29:42Look at your hand.
29:44Aw, dear.
29:45That's a bit more processed material.
29:48Yeah.
29:48Does that look like a whole fish that way?
29:50Yeah.
29:51Okay.
29:53It's going great.
29:54So we have here another, uh, basic egret nest?
30:00It looks like a cattle egret nest.
30:01All right.
30:02You'll know better when the young get down here.
30:04So you want to go on up?
30:05Yeah, I do want to give it a look.
30:06I do want to point out, though, before I go, it's completely encased and encrusted in poo.
30:12That's right.
30:12It's almost fair to say from this angle, the poo seems to be holding the nest together.
30:17Am I overstating it, or is it just...
30:18It appears that way, yes.
30:20I mean, is it really technically a nest or simply a pile of crap?
30:23It's a pile of small sticks.
30:26With poo?
30:26With a lot of poop, yeah.
30:28All right.
30:29I'm going to go look, and I'm going to take my, uh, I'm going to take my little camera here
30:31just because we can't get one of our big ones up there and see what we can see.
30:36Sorry, Doug.
30:37You wait here.
30:38Dave, you wait here.
30:47Oh, yeah.
30:48We got one?
30:49Hard to tell.
30:50Maybe two, I can't tell, but one for sure.
30:55And they're good-sized.
30:56Good.
31:03There might even be three.
31:06Got them?
31:08Three.
31:08Good.
31:09Yeah, he's not happy about that at all.
31:18Here's a look inside the eager nest.
31:21Yeah, there were three in here.
31:28My fancy new camera.
31:33Welcome to the show, camera.
31:35Well, I'd always heard, when I was growing up, my mother told me, you know, whenever I
31:39found a bird, don't pick it up and touch it, because the mother will smell the hands, and
31:44then they won't feed it anymore.
31:45Yeah, that's an old wives' tale, and it gets a lot of birds and wildlife in trouble.
31:49Um, baby bunnies, things like that.
31:50Yeah.
31:50People see them out in the yard, and they think, once their kids have touched them, you know,
31:54it's all over, they've got to do something about it, and it's totally false, yeah.
31:57So my mother is basically just a dirty liar.
31:59I don't want to say anything bad about your mom, but...
32:01You're calling my mom a dirty liar.
32:02I guess I am.
32:04I apologize.
32:05I'm sorry, too, Mom.
32:05I barely know the woman.
32:08But you lied.
32:10Wives' tale.
32:12Oh, jeez.
32:14Right, so...
32:15Oh, dear.
32:16I just can't understand why they call it Vomit Island.
32:19Ken, any theories on that?
32:22That's inside stuff.
32:24Oh, God.
32:27Dirty bird.
32:29Stinging nettles, poison ivy, billions of mosquitoes, and vomiting birds.
32:33Aw.
32:34She's like a supermodel.
32:36Welcome to Vomit Island.
32:38It's West Sister Island.
32:44That is not a white egret at all.
32:47No, that's a young black-crowned night heron, and they look pretty prehistoric.
32:52They do know.
32:53Is that a baby, midsize?
32:55That's a baby.
32:56It doesn't have its feathers in yet, so it's just starting to grow them in.
33:00It looks like they look bigger than us.
33:02They're bigger.
33:02Their beak is wider.
33:04But they don't do as much damage.
33:06They don't come at you.
33:07I mean, they'll come at you, but their fleshy mouth looks like it scares you away.
33:11You say they're fleshy mouth?
33:12You'll see it when it comes up there.
33:14Don't make fun of me now.
33:15No, I'm not.
33:15I'm just saying.
33:16Fleshy and mouth are two words you almost never hear grouped up.
33:18Okay.
33:19All right.
33:19All right.
33:19And I have seen fleshy mouths, just so you understand.
33:22On birds?
33:22No.
33:23Okay, on birds.
33:23Well, you're about ready to.
33:24There was a girl, and I...
33:27God, I miss her.
33:27Okay, let's go.
33:28Let's go.
33:30I don't want to know this story.
33:31Big, flappy, fleshy lips and gums with tiny baby teeth.
33:35I need the ladder.
33:39And the bird.
33:42Good God, look at these things.
33:43They look absolutely furious.
33:46Do they have a big, fleshy mouth?
33:48No, I see the fleshy mouth, but they...
33:50Good Lord, they can open it like a foot.
33:53Yeah.
33:54Well, I'm just going to grab it.
33:56You want me to grab two at the same time?
33:58Yes.
33:59Just grab it.
34:00Just be quick.
34:02Be quick.
34:02Okay.
34:03Yes, be quick.
34:03Avoid the fleshy mouth.
34:04Less...
34:05Less...
34:06Now, see, this is it.
34:07Look at that.
34:08That's a look of absolute disdain they're giving me.
34:12Yeah?
34:13And the longer you look at them, the angrier they're going to get.
34:16I don't think these birds can get any angrier.
34:18Get to it.
34:19No one wears gloves on the gig, do they?
34:21No, because you can't feel the birds.
34:23That's like sissy things.
34:24No, because you can't feel the birds and you don't know how well they're doing.
34:27It's for the bird's safety.
34:28Isn't the point, rather, to not feel the bird?
34:32Well, you don't know if they're hurt or not.
34:34It's just...
34:35It's a fleshy beak.
34:37It won't hurt you.
34:38Do you want us to send a girl up, or are you going to get all right there?
34:42That is hard, woman.
34:43That is some harsh, harsh...
34:45You know, we women have been doing this for several years, so we're kind of hardened to
34:49beaks being bit.
34:50I'm telling you, every one of these, every one of these mean, mean violence...
34:53Do you want the little camera to get the effect of this?
34:56Yeah, you know what?
34:57Give me that little camera.
34:57No offense, Doug, but I want the people at home to see exactly what I'm seeing, because
35:01this is horrific.
35:05I mean, honestly, would you stick your hand in there?
35:08Really?
35:08This is starting to seem like stalling.
35:16Yeah, you're stalling the actual process, I think.
35:19Yeah, you're right.
35:19All right, here.
35:20Here's my camera.
35:22Let the bleeding begin.
35:23Coming up.
35:24How are you?
35:25Oh, in this paradise, you can't be better.
35:28Oh, great.
35:28We got a tour guide.
35:29I meet the professional nest counters of Vomit Island.
35:33I wouldn't think looking up and counting would be a dirty job, but one of these goes in your
35:37mouth, yeah.
35:37I've been to you very nice.
35:39Good, good, good.
35:40Oh!
35:44Oh, shoot.
35:49God, I hit their poo-covered nest.
35:52Stop that.
35:54Look at that.
35:55See?
35:56Here, why don't you try something?
35:58Just stick your finger in their mouth and let them just feel how hard they're going to
36:01actually chomp on you.
36:03Seriously.
36:03It won't.
36:04It really won't hurt.
36:04It won't hurt.
36:05Just stick your hand in their mouth.
36:07I wouldn't tell you to do something.
36:09See?
36:09Yeah.
36:10That did not hurt, did it?
36:11A lot of pain.
36:12It's...
36:13A lot of searing pain.
36:14It did not.
36:14I haven't had this kind of pain.
36:15Let me see the blood.
36:16Let me see the blood.
36:17I don't bleed anymore.
36:18I bled out about a year ago.
36:19Well, then you shouldn't be worried.
36:20If there's no blood, you're fine.
36:24There's two women down here watching a man try to get these.
36:27Two women down here watching a man.
36:30There you go.
36:31Julie and Kim record the species, sex, and date and location of capture for every bird
36:36they band.
36:37Then they give the information to the Federal Bird Band Lab.
36:41It's a kind of Department of Motor Vehicles for birds.
36:45This bird is banded.
36:49Oh, jeez.
36:50Oh, there we go.
36:52That's the one we were looking for.
36:55Wait, did you pee yourself when it hit you, man?
36:57That must have been shocking.
37:00It's going to be running.
37:01These birds are on the run.
37:02They're called fledglings.
37:04Fledglings are within three to four days from fledging or leaving the nest.
37:08Are you getting this job?
37:10You see what happened?
37:10They're pulling the bird out of the poison ivy.
37:12That's all the poison ivy.
37:14They're on the move.
37:15Hanging on by a thread.
37:18Me and the bird.
37:19Come on, buddy.
37:20Go, Mike, go.
37:22They're on the move.
37:23You can get it.
37:24All right.
37:26Nice job.
37:31Yeah, I'm up in a tree.
37:34Don't ask.
37:37Wow.
37:37That's a big bird.
37:38I got his head.
37:39Yeah, I do.
37:39Got it?
37:40I do.
37:43So what we have here is a bird that's too big for the nest, but not quite ready to fly.
37:47See how he's got all of these are his flight feathers?
37:49Right.
37:50Those are all grown in.
37:51So he's got a little bit of growth yet.
37:53I would say a couple of days he should be ready.
37:55On average, great blue herons live for 15 years.
37:58There you go.
37:59That is, if they can make it through the first and toughest year.
38:02It's like TV.
38:03If we can get through the first series, you'll never get rid of us.
38:05Thanks.
38:08It's been great.
38:08Thanks a lot for your help.
38:09You've been fantastic.
38:10Thanks.
38:10Thanks for having me.
38:11Thanks, everybody.
38:12Well, we're not done, Doug, are we?
38:13No, we're not.
38:14We're only halfway done.
38:15We're going to go count some nests now.
38:16I will follow you.
38:17I will lead.
38:18Now, in this area, you can see, you can tell when we're under nests most of the time because
38:33you've got this big open area.
38:36Right.
38:36And a lot of this vegetation has been killed from whitewash from the birds above.
38:41Will they eventually kill the tree if they just crap on it long enough?
38:43They can, and that's what we're starting to see with the cormorant areas.
38:47This is a hackberry tree, or was a hackberry tree.
38:51It's obviously died.
38:53Over the years, different types of birds have made their home in the tree.
38:57And then, as you can see, as a reward to the tree for offering itself up as a means of
39:02shelter, they killed it with their crap.
39:07Are these official nest counters?
39:09These are the official nest counters.
39:11Mike.
39:11Dave.
39:12Dave.
39:13Andrea.
39:14Andrea.
39:14Gotcha.
39:15How are you?
39:16Good.
39:16Oh, this paradise can't be better.
39:18Oh, great.
39:19We've got a tour guide.
39:20So, how do we begin, Dave?
39:22Start counting the cormorants in the tree that are marked.
39:27You see one up there?
39:33See three.
39:35Oh, that's what I meant.
39:36There's not just one.
39:37No, no.
39:40Jeez.
39:41You've got a massage therapist lined up for this afternoon.
39:43It's a pain that you walk around looking up all day.
39:45Yeah.
39:46How many times have you been crapped in the face?
39:48Oh, just once or twice.
39:50One, two, definitely one there.
39:51Three.
39:52One way up there.
39:54I don't think anybody wrote a number on this.
39:57That would never happen out here.
39:59It's like a trick flag.
40:01So, what was the final?
40:02I see five.
40:03Okay.
40:03Five?
40:04I see five?
40:04All occupied.
40:06Yeah, that's a lot of nests.
40:07So, this is a very busy tree.
40:09Yeah.
40:10It seems like somebody should give it an actual number.
40:12It's five nests.
40:12I think it's earned it.
40:13You wouldn't think looking up and counting would be a dirty job, but one of these goes in
40:19your mouth.
40:20Yeah.
40:21Did you get another one, Chris?
40:22Yeah.
40:23You know what?
40:23Yeah, Nate?
40:24You might have took one in the head.
40:26I did.
40:27Oh, there you go.
40:28A little shampoo action.
40:30Oh, yeah.
40:30That's poo right there.
40:32Keep it right there.
40:33Oh, that's good looking poo.
40:36It feels like there might be some on my nose.
40:40Things are crashing down.
40:41We're just trying to count your nests we're trying out loud.
40:43Very nice.
40:44Good, good, good.
40:46Here we go.
40:46Go.
40:48It's the little things in life.
40:50You know when a full grown man sees a hunk of fully formed vomit come tumbling from the
40:54heavens and he gets it in the shot is a very big day if you're Barsky.
40:59I'm not sure I got it in the shot.
41:03Well, around the forest, that's what you hear.
41:05Classic overreaction.
41:08So that's a day in the life of the official nest counters.
41:12Yes.
41:12Yes.
41:13Did we do okay?
41:14We counted 30 or 40 nests out of the 10 trees or so we counted, so good density of
41:20cormorants out there, which doesn't speak well for the island, but...
41:24No, but it's good if you're a dense cormorant.
41:26Yes.
41:26That's right.
41:27Excellent.
41:28All right, good.
41:29Back to the beach then?
41:30Yes.
41:32And so it is with a heavy heart that we pack our gear and leave the gentle shores of Vomit
41:37Island forever.
41:38And if I have to give this place my official assessment, yeah, I'll say it.
41:43It's for the birds.
41:44Oh!
41:45Goat!
41:46Sorry.
41:48Network called.
41:49Said they're going to cancel dirty jobs if they don't come up with some new ideas.
41:53What a crock.
41:53So, I'd like to think if this gator could talk, he'd look you square in the eyes right
41:58now and say, go to discovery.com forward slash dirty jobs with your brand new dirty jobs
42:02idea.
42:02Mike Rowe would really appreciate it.
42:04After all, he hadn't had an original thought in the last year and a half, so he's kind of
42:07depending on you.
42:08At that point, in my little fantasy, I would turn to the alligator and say, thanks.
42:13Is there anything I can do for you?
42:14And he'd say, yeah.
42:15You could return me to the wild to pursue a life of serial monogamy with my childhood sweetheart.
42:20And I would say, no problem.
42:23Because that's the kind of guy I am.
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