- 7 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09It's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:57Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
04:00Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um, no.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:12You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39Actually, I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Stop Shop 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08It's not easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:21What?
05:22That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a day to make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you?
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Yeah.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous, and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan.
06:04No improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:08So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:21Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend.
06:30Remember?
06:31You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:36Where did we go on our first date?
06:38Um...
06:40We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well...
07:05Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:09Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:12I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:15Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow.
07:30How romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:34Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With the fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:48Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:56How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risk worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope.
08:28No more of that.
08:30Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:35You already look amazing with that.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now.
08:39We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious.
08:41You look beautiful.
08:43You always do.
08:46I guess I'm just nervous.
08:48Don't worry.
08:49I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:51I promise.
08:52You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:54I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:56Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:58When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:02I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:06You started all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You still have time for math leads.
09:11I can't believe you know all that.
09:15I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:19I had to keep my distance, but I still paid attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too cool for school act,
09:26you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coral.
09:29Hey, careful.
09:31I have a reputation doable.
09:33No, I'm serious.
09:34I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:44Claire?
09:45We're here.
09:47We're here.
10:05People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:10When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for them.
10:38I'm going to give this drinks.
10:52I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow.
11:02It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right?
11:05It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town hottie?
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is.
11:28Oh my god, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me.
11:31Look at his face.
11:32Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:55It's time to AF this party up!
11:57Did someone say, never have ever?
11:59Woo!
11:59Let's play.
12:04I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:07So wait, why don't you go first?
12:22Okay.
12:23Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:27Ooh, cute.
12:31Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:37Ooh!
12:38Okay.
12:40Ooh!
12:41Cute.
12:43Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Ooh!
12:50Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Ooh!
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:05Ooh!
13:05Ooh!
13:08Face it, Claire.
13:11You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Claire.
13:23Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything. It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what? You two deserve each other.
13:36Hey, dude, are you okay? Because that game was brutal. And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know. He said he was gonna be by my side the entire night and I thought we were...
13:52Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02it all comes crashing out around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where,
14:09probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:14So, yeah, I'm done planning.
14:17Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:33I left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:36Of course.
14:37What?
14:38Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going?
14:40Home.
14:41And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:43I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:47You just left me in there.
14:50I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:54Look, you were right. Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan, this, it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there,
15:09so why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that?
15:20Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay?
15:24You never were.
15:27I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:29Alright?
15:30I want a real one.
15:38I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:42Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
15:46So.
16:07Come on.
16:08Slapshot 239.
16:11Pick me home.
16:17Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:19Yeah, just make sure these two dots match.
16:22They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay, I'm trusting the process.
16:27I'm just glad we get to go stag together.
16:29You never got a date, right?
16:31No date, but Thayman's really not coming?
16:34I bought him a ticket in case he changed his mind, but he won't budge.
16:38Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:44No way! I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:48And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:52I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:03Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise. Shocker.
17:15Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:17I don't even remember. You know, gossip travels.
17:23That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Damon. My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:42I mean, at least he's hot.
17:45So hot.
17:47It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations, it was over before it began.
18:01Jay-Zoey.
18:04Jay-Zoey. Absolutely not.
18:07Well, more Zoe for me.
18:10Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:12Oh, it's Damon!
18:15Oh, it's Damon!
18:17Or should I say Claremont?
18:19Can I call you back to finish this?
18:21Yeah, you can. Claremont.
18:23But you better, cause we need to finish this look.
18:25Okay. Bye!
18:27Hey, beautif-
18:29What's up with your eyes?
18:31It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:36Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes.
18:40I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies.
18:45Your royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone. I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jay-
18:59Yep, there's Jay, bouncing off the walls. Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:09What do you mean?
19:10Chelsea's been soft ghosting him. I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:15Why could that be? Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:20Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:25She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:33And then, you know, for the rest of the school year, because I would have to play in prom,
19:38and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen, and then-
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could she not be?
19:48Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake. It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say. You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school,
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:04Wow! And, uh, you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature,
20:14maybe you should skip the dance together, get a cheese board,
20:17and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:25Oh, look. Someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean- Claire!
20:28Bye.
20:30I need to fix this.
20:37Hey, Jake.
20:39Claire!
20:40Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:44Whoa, did- did Zoe do this to you?
20:47It's a work in progress. What's up?
20:49Cool.
20:50Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base,
20:56and just, you know, make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:01You mean if we win?
21:03Uh, we're gonna win.
21:05Is Chelsea gonna be upset if, when we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Aww, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship. That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but...
21:29I really am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.
21:36It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Just, at least she'll be there. Damon won't even come.
21:45Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances. I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know. It's a chance to get, like, dressed up, and have fun, and make grand romantic gestures.
21:57Jinx!
21:59Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:04Whoa. Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:08Yeah. I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah. You neither.
22:24I hope we win, so we at least get one dance together.
22:30Well, how about either way, we make it happen. One dance before the night's over.
22:35Deal.
22:37As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:42It was both.
22:45Fine.
22:46As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What? You mean...
22:52This one?
22:54Oh, God. My eyes!
22:55Stop it! My eyes!
22:57What, like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on. Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:05Let's see, by all means.
23:06Oh, uh, sorry. Chelsea's calling me. I should get it. I'll see you later?
23:14Yeah, yeah. See ya.
23:15Oh, uh, sorry. Chelsea's calling me. I should get it. I'll see you later?
23:30Yeah, yeah. See ya.
23:32See ya.
23:49Hello?
23:51Hello?
23:53Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:56Wow.
23:57You look incredible.
23:59Thanks.
24:00Are you...
24:02Are you going somewhere?
24:03Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:06Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:09I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and...
24:13I don't know. I really wanted you to be there.
24:16Yeah, I'm sorry too. I...
24:18I should've known how important it was to you.
24:20It's okay.
24:22God, how do you... how do you do this?
24:24You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:27If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:31Is this going to match your dress?
24:34You're coming?
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:41I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43What?
24:44I'm just talking to myself.
24:46Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:49Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:51And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
24:53Okay!
24:55Okay!
24:57This part always gets me.
25:00Yes!
25:02Yes!
25:03Yes!
25:04Yes!
25:06Yes!
25:08Yes!
25:09Yes!
25:10Yes!
25:12Yes!
25:13Yes!
25:14Yes!
25:15Yes!
25:16Yes!
25:17Yes!
25:19Yes!
25:20yes yes yes it is so sad are you watching hockey right now what no no i mean i'm i'm not not
25:31watching hockey oh come on babe tell me some slack it's my birthday tomorrow and these are
25:36two of my favorite teams this is a classic damon anybody who's anybody has seen this
25:41classics just code for old i don't know why i bother trying to culture you
25:45anyway what's the plans for tomorrow birthday boy well since i've been away for two weeks i
25:53was thinking i could kiss your face for the first half of the day and then you know we got the party
25:57later crap crap um nico guitar flames is calling who's that i i completely forgot i have a lesson
26:11now is this why you've gotten so into the guitar lately hey my favorite student and my favorite
26:21student's friend we we were just watching the long way and we lost track of time oh yes i see you took
26:29my recommendation such a classic boyfriend what i'm not a friend i'm her boyfriend oh like a guy
26:40who was just leaving hi demon i mean i can stay i'd love to see what you two have been working so
26:47hard on lately no i i mean no no she's right music is so personal so intimate something to be shared
26:57between two or three oh no almost never three
27:00young love such a beautiful thing love who said i i don't we i i we don't um
27:14have you ever been in love of course yeah i've been in love a bunch of times i mean i'm not a
27:22not a bunch of times the normal amount of times there's just a lot of pressure on when to say it
27:30you know there's just there's a lot of stress and then yeah you know who should say it first or
27:34when you should say it or if if they'll ever say it back and maybe i can help you find a way to say
27:41should we begin should we begin yeah
27:58damon hey zoe what's up how are you doing i'm good
28:03that's awesome i'm i'm also good you know i've been away at training camp for a couple weeks
28:11coming home tomorrow so here's a funny little question for you claire's guitar teacher
28:21nico yeah he's not even that good looking like at all oh no he's a solid 9.5 and then him playing
28:29guitar takes him to about a 12. i just think it's it's weird you know we she's doubled her lessons
28:36while i've been away and we're watching movies they both like wouldn't you feel a little bit
28:41weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week i thought you
28:45said he wasn't good looking zoe okay i wouldn't feel great about it but i'd be confident in my
28:55relationship i would know that she really wants to be with me and not him i just don't get it i mean
29:01she's being so secretive about it i haven't even heard her play anything yeah damon i don't know
29:08don't you have any guy friends to call about this who am i going to talk to zoe guys don't talk about
29:13stuff if only you knew somebody that dated claire and knew her really really well jake yeah is that
29:19weird i mean it can't be weirder than you calling me about this yeah okay you're right you're good
29:26friends though claire's lucky to have you on her side don't stress i'm sure there's absolutely nothing
29:31to worry about plus isn't it your birthday tomorrow focus on that yeah thanks now i'll see you tomorrow
29:38hey birthday boy not until tomorrow where's jake he's in the shower he just got back from practice
29:55and he's disgusting i was totally going to wish you a happy birthday but i didn't have your number
30:01yeah let's keep it that way so what's on the agenda what time am i picking you up tonight kidding
30:07obviously does perfect claire have a perfect till date planned other than running off the guitar
30:13teacher probably not oh that's right she starts dying with nico wait you know nico yeah i set them
30:20up he's amazing so so talented so so talented what do you mean you set them up well she was saying a few
30:29weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn so yeah i don't know i suggested nico oh great
30:34so this is your fault thanks a lot where was i sitting right next to her not listening per usual
30:42that's not that's not true i listen whatever anyway out of the kindness of my generous heart
30:49i suggested nico every girl should have a few lessons with him he teaches you so much
30:56i wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand what exactly wouldn't i understand
31:00what exactly wouldn't i understand music art culture languages you're not like afraid she's
31:09gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with are you but we have conversations
31:15chelsea is jake out of the shower yet oh yeah but what huh hockey and then hockey oh of course right
31:22there's always hockey seriously though damon hockey is like your one true love and it's kind of boring
31:28i love other things like what like claire and i don't want her running off with some guitar playing
31:37art culture looking snob all right look i'm not saying i'm an expert on all things claire but
31:46dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked and
31:50she's actually kind of interesting so maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the
31:58things she likes yeah it's actually not terrible advice considered my birthday gift to you gee thanks
32:07a lot so what are you still doing here go before she hires nico to be your boyfriend at your party
32:14tomorrow bye yeah yeah yeah okay whatever thanks bye
32:28hey i i was just gonna call you you're all dressed up demon um i've been wanting to tell you how i feel
32:48and and i i i this was going to be a birthday surprise but i just i didn't think i could wait
33:02you're the cream in my coffee you're the apple of my eye you make me wanna laugh when i think i'm gonna cry
33:19like you're the one so there's one thing i must do
33:27i have to say i i love you
33:34i love you too
33:37moment stealer i'm sorry but i needed you to know it i love you so much claire and i'm sorry that i got
33:44weird earlier but i talked to zoe and you talked to zoe yeah and and she told me not to worry and
33:50she told me that she always has your back which i love hello and i talked to chelsea
33:56ew why didn't you talk to chelsea i don't know she sucks but she did say one thing that wasn't
34:02terrible i want to make more of an effort to share your interests claire i want to watch whatever you
34:08want to watch and talk about musicals even the old ones i don't care just no subtitles deal deal okay
34:18babe yeah do you think i could finish my song i i worked really hard on it yes please
34:24blue white baby as bright as the sky hit it in the cloud but never felt so high
34:37i think you're the one so there's one thing i must do
34:44i have to say
34:48i love you
34:54did you change your pillowcases no claire do not leave them there that looks like trash
35:04do you have time to do a load of laundry not really but yeah did you get the champagne yes
35:11chocolates rose petals massage oils scented candles all of that
35:17claire i'm i'm playing with you i literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now
35:21one damon's been in your room and two you're not a virgin i'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers
35:27true that's awkward is there a term for that sleeping with brothers
35:37please do not ever google that ever you're not helping so look this is a big night
35:45after tonight that's it what do you mean this is it like me and damon there's no going back going back
35:52to what to jake have you guys been talking or something no not talking just i don't know we
36:01dated for so long it feels like a betrayal you know and plus i know chelsea broke up with him so i know he's
36:08not in a good place about time she dragged that on long enough what's that supposed to be nothing
36:16claire i don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal you're good you think
36:20they'll talk about it oh my god what if they compare notes oh god that's so awkward i think
36:26the only one that gets to do the comparing is you plus damon is going to be 10 times better than jake
36:32think about all that experience why would you say that so i didn't even think of it like that
36:40he's been with so many girls what if he thinks i don't know what i'm doing
36:45god thanks a lot it's just what i needed that's literally not what i meant at all
36:53it's damon wish me luck bye
36:56hey you are definitely running late but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good i'll
37:10let it slide you are definitely running late but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good
37:19i'll let it slide hey uh so i got some news bad news no just uh do you remember natasha
37:29natasha your super hot ex who ran away to like live off the land in japan ride her bicycle across
37:36thailand but yeah great so you remember she's back oh so it's horrible news i know we're supposed to hang
37:43tonight do you mind if i rain check do i mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who
37:49also happens to be your ex-girlfriend let me think about that i know it's a little bit weird but i
37:55promise she just wants to stop by show me some pictures and she's leaving again in like a week
38:00wait wait she's coming over to your place why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend
38:08actually uh do not she is the literal girl version of you that's exactly why we didn't work
38:15trust me it's strictly a friend name i don't know i know who you guys were when you were together
38:19you couldn't keep your hands off each other yeah now i can't keep my hands off you
38:24i'm being serious we both have exes claire come on don't forget i had to watch you date my brother
38:29for two years don't forget i'd watch you date my brother for two years okay i don't want to fight
38:35i just i really wanted to spend time with you tonight i was hoping this could be our special she's
38:42here i gotta go love you
38:43i know i said i wanted updates but definitely did not mean in real time
39:01haha funny you know what else is funny damon running off with his ex-girlfriend wow which one
39:08please don't say natasha didn't she move to the philippines thailand and just for the year sadly
39:20damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense and now she's returned to ruin my
39:25perfect night claire she's an influencer not a comic book villain same difference okay natasha's back
39:31but that doesn't have to mean anything was damon acting excited or weird he showered okay
39:39he's pretty he does that anything else i i trust damon i don't trust her
39:48shit she just posted a story i i can't look at it she'll know she has 80 000 followers
39:54she's not gonna see your name i can't look zoe you look what is it are they are they kissing
40:03are they back together okay maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out
40:07why would you have me look at that
40:20this is it you're gonna get married have two and a half kids and have a yurt in iceland
40:25you know i did hear that reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime actually
40:31again with the not helping but this was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives i i'm allowed to
40:36be disappointed but you're being insane damon loves you he's not getting back together with natasha
40:42did you see the photo he is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me not her they're not snuggling and to be
40:50fair you didn't tell him about this perfect night so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader
40:55you didn't tell him about this perfect night so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader
41:01what's going on why are you taking my side on this
41:03nothing's wrong with me i'm just saying that like whatever i gotta go don't trip i'm sure it'll be fine
41:19you can't be mad at him
41:26hi are you calling from reykjavik what nothing where are you thought you were hanging out with
41:33natasha uh yeah i was but you know there's only so many pictures of thailand a person can take
41:39what happened nothing what nothing nothing or something nothing you were right that was a bad
41:47idea it was stupid for me to think we could just hang his friends she hasn't changed at all i mean
41:51she invited me to go to bali with her and she tried to kiss me wait you kissed no no she tried look
42:00i'm really sorry claire i shouldn't put myself in that position did you want to kiss her no way are you
42:06kidding you're the only person i want to kiss like ever why don't you say that to my face why don't you
42:13let me up i'm outside you're here wait are you sure i only have 700 followers please you know she
42:22bought all those followers right what 100 but do i see some black silk under there i'm much more
42:30interested in that come on let me up keep going now target zone for the tree punches right for the
42:42front of the face palms are down elbows are tight there we go now we're gonna demons texted me i love
42:49you three times this morning who needs to get some mushy after sex that's awesome and he took me out for
42:56breakfast did i say that already like four times warming it up well now i guess i said it five
43:03anyway could you hear that natasha pays for her followers how embarrassing and sad is that
43:10two uppercuts let's go uppercuts target zone where is it underneath the chin
43:14elbow tight to the body now wow that's actually the first question you've asked me in months
43:21whoa are you mad at me not mad i'm just tired well we can pause it i mean no claire i'm tired of this
43:31one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating damon i don't know what
43:35you're talking about you realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together right and then damon
43:40came and the only time you call me is to ask or talk about damon and now damon's calling me to talk
43:46about you and i am tired of it we're supposed to be best friends right i am your best friend no
43:52i'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel i am your best friend no i'm your best
43:57friend and you've been asleep at the wheel well i'm sorry i'm talking a little too much about my
44:02boyfriend but i don't think it's fair to say that i've been a bad friend i mean well i think a good
44:07friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something huge the past few months
44:12months oh my god what zoe are you okay yeah i'm actually great i've been seeing someone and it's
44:21getting pretty serious but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it you can
44:27talk to me about anything this is so exciting who is it it's not important what do you mean it's not
44:33important i want to know who stole my besties heart come on she didn't steal anything it just kind of
44:40happened i didn't think we'd get along so well but she's just perfect okay so we've established it's
44:50a girl i mean that shrinks the pool a little but you still haven't given me a good enough hint
44:56okay maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking i don't know i don't know
45:02what we are it's like we're dating but we haven't put a label on it yet i guess it's just like a little
45:10bit more complicated for chelsea what does chelsea have to do with this because i'm the first girl
45:17she's ever been with. I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for
45:21Chelsea. What does Chelsea have to do with this? Because I'm the first girl
45:27she's ever been with. Hold on. You're dating Chelsea? Like, like ruined my life
45:36Chelsea. Are you kidding me? We hate Chelsea! You know she broke up with Jake
45:41and he's like devastated, right? Okay, but we don't care about Jake. We care about
45:45me, right? So you're the other woman now. That's not fair. Especially because she
45:51wasn't even that into him. I'm sorry, what? She weaseled into our two-year
45:55relationship because she wasn't that into him? Claire, why are you so wrapped up in
46:00that? Aren't you in heaven with David? Because I haven't heard you shut up about
46:04him in the last three months. Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to
46:08hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself. I would have talked
46:13you out of it. You don't even know her, Claire. Seems like I don't know either of
46:17you. And whose fault is that? Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for
46:22breakfast, but as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for
46:26once, you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31you. I'm over it. Well, that went well. Uh-oh. How bad? If a dumpster fire filled with
46:48fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7. Gross. I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't
46:56happen easy, but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her.
47:00That feels like a small win. I guess. I don't know. It's- it's hard because I don't
47:06even know what I'm supposed to be telling her. Like, I didn't say that you were my
47:08girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that. I think
47:13after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe. Cool. Cool. Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this
47:26happy with someone in a long time. I just wish that Claire could get her head out of
47:32her butt for five seconds to be excited for me. Whatever. I don't need her. I have
47:40you. As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way
47:45too much history to throw it away. But that dumpster fire I was talking about, yeah,
47:48it's active. Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've
47:54taken your turns over the years being the needy one. Babe, I'm serious. You guys have
47:59been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the
48:02needy one. Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired. They're done. I'm over it. I've never
48:09known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with
48:13Claire, you just bottled up and it's like- it's like you forgot how to stand up for
48:17yourself. Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this
48:22and me and Damon did that. So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell
48:27her about us? Or about how you were feeling? Or you may be holding back because you knew
48:31how she'd respond? Maybe. Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only
48:39one in the wrong. Why do you have to be so perfect? Bad habit. Alright, let me figure this out.
48:51Okay, call me back. Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on? Chelsea? Did I open a curse box? Was I a serial killer in a past
49:03life? What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me. I will literally murder. She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder. Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:23No? Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh yeah, another way how she's ruined our lives. Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:36What?
49:41Nothing. I just... I hope you weren't like this with Zoe. I think it's cool. Zoe's never
49:46really had a relationship stick, has she? So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up
49:50to you could be something serious.
49:54Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did.
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no. I just... I think it's... maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:14I'm sorry to say it, babe. You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute though. And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:26Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:29Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay.
50:35I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course. You got this.
50:55Pick up. Please pick up.
50:57Never have I ever...
51:01Been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know. I freaked.
51:17I'm just... I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:19But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:27Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:30Seriously, Claire.
51:31I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:33I think she might be...
51:36My person.
51:39If you're happy...
51:40I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:45You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:05I checked.
52:05I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should've told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait.
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess...
52:35She can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:41You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just...
52:46Your special night?
52:47I don't know.
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