- 1 year ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09Yeah, it's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um...
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah.
04:12You too.
04:13You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:14You don't have to wait.
04:15Thank you, though.
04:16I'm not.
04:17I'm actually...
04:18I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:19Do you have to do it right here?
04:20It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:22I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:23I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:24I'm not.
04:25I'm not.
04:26I'm not.
04:27I'm actually...
04:28I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:29Do you have to do it right here?
04:30It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:35I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:36Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:37Drama Queen 2020?
04:38Oh, man.
04:39What?
04:40This is epic.
04:41This is a mistake.
04:42Look, forgive me.
04:43I'm not.
04:44I'll be here any second.
04:45I'll be here any second.
04:46You don't have to wait.
04:47Thank you, though.
04:48I'm not.
04:49I'm actually...
04:50I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:51Do you have to do it right here?
04:52It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:55Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Hot shot 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:20What?
05:21That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a date, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming,
05:52and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
05:59Fine.
06:00But we follow my plan, no improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:07So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:22Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:30You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:35Where did we go on our first date?
06:38We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well, haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:13I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow, how romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:50Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:57How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:18Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:21Nope.
08:22No more of that.
08:23Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:24What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:25You already look amazing with that.
08:26You can save the theatrics for now.
08:27We're not at the party yet.
08:28No.
08:29I'm serious.
08:30You look beautiful.
08:31You always do.
08:33I guess I'm just nervous.
08:34Don't worry.
08:35I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:36Promise.
08:37You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:38I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:39Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:42When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
08:46And you're ridiculously smart.
08:47You started an all the way.
08:48No, I'm not.
08:49You did, I'm not.
08:50You were just about to leave.
08:51I know you were just about to leave.
08:52It was about to leave.
08:53And I'm not about to leave.
08:54I'm not about to leave.
08:55You can save the theatrics for now.
08:56We're not at the party yet.
08:57No, I'm serious.
08:58You look beautiful.
08:59You always do.
09:01I guess I'm just nervous.
09:02Don't worry.
09:03I'll be by your side the whole night.
09:05Promise.
09:06You started in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus, it's still a time for mathletes.
09:13I can't believe you know all that. I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend. I had to keep my distance, but I still pay attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coyle.
09:29Hey, careful. I have a reputation doable.
09:32No, I'm serious. I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:36I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:43Claire?
09:46We're here.
10:02People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:10When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:13They're looking for you.
10:15You're with me.
10:16You're like.
10:17If I know how there are you, I'm sorry.
10:18I'm sorry, okay?
10:19I can't believe you.
10:20It's much better.
10:21What's up?
10:22What's up?
10:23How are you?
10:25What's up?
10:27We're looking for you, George?
10:28We'd have to be gul.
10:29We're talking.
10:30We're talking for you.
10:31You're around.
10:32We're talking in front of you.
10:33We're talking to you.
10:34We're talking for you.
10:35We're talking.
10:36We're talking in front of you.
10:37We're talking about you.
10:38We're talking about you.
10:39I'm going to give this drinks.
10:53I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow.
11:02It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right?
11:05It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:07Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town hottie?
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know.
11:15Pretending or actually having fun for once?
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my God, there he is.
11:28Oh my God, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me.
11:31Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:55It's time to AF this party up!
11:57Did someone say, never have I ever?
11:59Woo!
12:01Let's play.
12:04I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:18Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:20Okay, um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:28Ooh, cute.
12:31Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:37Oh!
12:39Ooh, cute.
12:42Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:05Oh!
13:06Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Hey, Claire.
13:19Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything.
13:27It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:39Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:43And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was going to be by my side the entire night and I thought we were...
13:50It doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box, it all comes crashing out around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13Yeah, so yeah, I'm done planning.
14:17Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:33Left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:36Of course.
14:37What?
14:38Just...
14:38Wait, wait, wait.
14:38Where are you going?
14:40Home.
14:41And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:43I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:46You just left me in there.
14:50I know, I'm sorry.
14:52I wasn't thinking...
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:54Look, you were right.
14:55Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan, this, it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there, so why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that?
15:20Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay?
15:24You never were.
15:27I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:29All right?
15:31I want...
15:32a real one.
15:34I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:42Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
15:45Come on.
16:07Slapshot 239.
16:09Pick me home.
16:16Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:18Yeah, just make sure these two dots match.
16:21They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:23Okay, I'm trusting the process.
16:26I'm just glad we get to go stag together.
16:28You never got a date, right?
16:30No date, but Damon's really not coming?
16:33I bought him a ticket in case he changed his mind, but he won't budge.
16:36Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:43No way! I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:47And, of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:51I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:55Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:58At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:02Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise. Shocker.
17:15Where did you even hear that anyway?
17:17I don't even remember. You know, gossip travels.
17:22That looks pretty good.
17:24But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:27It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Damon. My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:41I mean, at least he's hot.
17:44So hot.
17:46It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:50Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:53Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:55As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations, it was over before it began.
18:00Jay-Zoey.
18:02Jay-Zoey.
18:03Jay-Zoey.
18:04Jay-Zoey.
18:05Absolutely not.
18:06Jay-Zoey.
18:07Well, more Zoe for me.
18:09Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:11Oh, it's Damon!
18:13Oh, it's Damon!
18:16Or should I say Claremont.
18:18Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can. Claremont.
18:22But you better, cause we need to finish this look.
18:24Okay. Bye!
18:26Hey, beautif-
18:28What's up with your eyes?
18:30It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:35Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes.
18:40I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:42My sincerest apologies.
18:44Your royalness.
18:45I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:51You're not gonna be alone.
18:53I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully,
18:57I bet you can hear Jay-
18:59Yep, there's Jay, bouncing off the walls.
19:01Dude is pumped.
19:02Yeah, because dances are super fun,
19:05and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:09What do you mean?
19:10Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:12I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:14Why could that be?
19:16Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:20Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:22I bet that is it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:24She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:33And then, you know, for the rest of the school year,
19:35because I would have to play in prom,
19:37and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen,
19:40and then-
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could you not be?
19:47Because!
19:48Nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake.
19:51It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say.
19:53You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now,
19:58but I promise, when you get out of high school,
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:04Wow!
20:05And, uh, you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it,
20:12but, um, if you both are so mature,
20:14maybe you should skip the dance together,
20:16get a cheese board,
20:17and, you know, talk about all the
20:19super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:24Oh, look!
20:25Someone my age is calling.
20:26I-I didn't mean-
20:27Claire!
20:28Bye!
20:36I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:39Claire!
20:40Hey!
20:41Um, thanks for picking up.
20:44Whoa!
20:45Did-did Zoe do this to you?
20:47It's a work in progress.
20:49What's up?
20:50Cool.
20:51Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base,
20:56and just, you know, make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:01You mean if we win?
21:02Uh, we're gonna win.
21:04Is Chelsea gonna be upset if...
21:09win?
21:10We win?
21:11If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:15Aw, texting someone else?
21:17It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:20That would suck.
21:21Look, Claire.
21:22I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but...
21:28I really am sorry.
21:30I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I-I would.
21:35It's fine.
21:37It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39Just...
21:40At least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:44Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know!
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up, and have fun, and make grand romantic gestures!
21:55Grand romantic gestures!
21:56Jinx!
21:57Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:03Whoa.
22:04Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:07Yeah.
22:08I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:12And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:19Yeah.
22:20Me neither.
22:22I hope we win.
22:26So, we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about, either way, we make it happen.
22:32One dance, before the night's over.
22:34Deal.
22:35As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:39That was sophomore year!
22:41It was both.
22:43Fine.
22:46As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:49What?
22:50You mean...
22:51This one?
22:53Oh, god.
22:54My eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:56My eyes!
22:57What?
22:58Like, you can do better?
22:59Oh, come on.
23:00Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:01Let's see.
23:02By all means.
23:03Oh, sorry.
23:04Chelsea's calling me.
23:05I should get it.
23:06I'll see you later.
23:07Yeah.
23:08Yeah.
23:09Yeah.
23:10See ya.
23:11See ya.
23:12Okay.
23:13Yeah.
23:14Yeah.
23:15Oh, uh, sorry.
23:17Chelsea's calling me.
23:18I should get it.
23:19I'll see you later.
23:20Yeah.
23:21Yeah.
23:22See ya.
23:23Yeah.
23:24See ya.
23:25Uh...
23:26See ya.
23:29See ya.
23:31See ya.
23:34Hello? Hello? Just want to show you what you're missing. Wow. You look incredible. Thanks. Are you, are you going somewhere?
24:03Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to. Look, I'm sorry about before. I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and, I don't know, I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too. I, I should have known how important it was to you. It's okay. God, how do you, how do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend. If you think I'm gonna let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this gonna match your dress? You're coming? And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns? I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43My grandmothers are just cute. Wait, what? Nothing, nothing. I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie. Come on, Claire, we got a homecoming to get to. And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
24:59Okay.
25:00Okay.
25:01This part always gets me.
25:15Yes! Yes, yes, it is. Oh, it's so sad. Are you watching hockey right now? What? No. No, I mean, I'm not not watching hockey. Come on, babe, tell me some slack. It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon. Anybody who's anybody who's seen this. Classics just code for old.
25:43I don't know why I bother trying to culture you. Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:50Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:59Crap, crap, crap.
26:03Um, Nico Guitar Flames is calling? Who's that?
26:08I completely forgot. I have a lesson now.
26:13Is this why you've gotten so into guitar lately?
26:18Hey, my favorite student and my favorite student's friend?
26:23We were just watching The Long Way and we lost track of time.
26:27Oh, yes. I see you took my recommendation. Such a classic.
26:33Boyfriend.
26:35What?
26:36I'm not her friend. I'm her boyfriend.
26:39Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who was just leaving. Bye, Damon.
26:44I mean, I can stay. I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48But no. I mean, no, no.
26:52She's right. Music is so personal. So intimate. Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no. Almost never three.
27:04Young love. Such a beautiful thing.
27:07Love? Who said? I don't... we... I... we don't... um...
27:14Have you ever been in love?
27:16Of course. Yeah, I've been in love a bunch of times. I mean, not a... not a bunch of times. The normal amount of times.
27:26There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it, you know? There's just... there's a lot of stress and then, you know, who should say it first or when you should say it or if they'll ever say it back and...
27:39Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:51Yeah.
27:58Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe. What's up? How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:06That's awesome. I'm... I'm also good.
28:09You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks. Coming home tomorrow.
28:13So, here's a funny little question for you.
28:18Claire's guitar teacher.
28:22Nico... yeah.
28:25He's not even that good looking. Like, at all.
28:26Oh, no. He's a solid 9.5 and then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:31I just think it's... it's weird. You know, we... she's doubled her lessons while I've been away and we're watching movies they both like.
28:40Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:44I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe.
28:49Okay.
28:51I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship. I would know that she really wants to be with me and not him.
29:00I just don't get it. I mean, she's being so secretive about it. I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:06Yeah, Damon, I don't know. Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:11Who am I gonna talk to, Zoe? Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:14If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:18Jake?
29:20Yeah. Is that weird? I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay. You're right. You're good friends, though. Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:29Don't stress. I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:33Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow? Focus on that.
29:36Yeah. Thanks, Zoe. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:49Hey, birthday boy.
29:50Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:53He's in the shower. He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:57I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:02Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:04So what's on the agenda? What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:07Kidding. Obviously.
30:09Does Perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:12Other than running off the guitar teacher? Probably not.
30:15Oh, that's right. She started signing with Nico.
30:18Wait, you know Nico?
30:19Yeah, I set them up. He's amazing. So, so talented. So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn, so...
30:33I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great. So this is your fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I?
30:38Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:41That's not, that's not true. I listen.
30:45Whatever. Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico. Every girl should have a few lessons with him. He teaches you so much.
30:56I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:58What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:04Music, art, culture, languages. You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with. Are you?
31:13But we have conversations, Chelsea. Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:18Oh yeah, about what, huh? Hockey? And then hockey? Oh, of course, right. There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love and it's kinda boring.
31:29I love other things.
31:31Like what?
31:32Like Claire. And I don't want her running off with some guitar playing, art culture looking snob, alright?
31:42Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked and she's actually kind of interesting.
31:56So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah. It's actually not terrible advice.
32:05Consider it my birthday gift to you.
32:07Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye!
32:17So, what are you still doing here?
32:19Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:23Bye!
32:25Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever. Thanks, bye.
32:29Hey! I was just gonna call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel.
32:48And, and I, I, this was going to be your birthday surprise, but, I just, I didn't think I could wait.
32:57You're the cream in my coffee, you're the apple of my eye. You make me wanna laugh when I think I'm gonna cry.
33:18Like, you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:27I have to say.
33:31I love you.
33:32I love you too.
33:36Moments dealer.
33:38I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:41I love you so much, Claire.
33:43And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and-
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and, and she told me not to worry.
33:50And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:53Huh.
33:54Love.
33:55And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know, she sucks.
34:00But, she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:07I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch and talk about musicals.
34:11Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:13Just, no subtitles. Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:17Okay.
34:19Babe?
34:20Yeah?
34:21Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I, I worked really hard on it.
34:23Yes, please.
34:24Yes, please.
34:30Blue-eyed baby, as bright as the sky.
34:34Hit it in the clouds and then we fell so high.
34:38I think that you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:44I have to say, I love you.
34:48I love you.
34:49Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
34:52Do, do, do, do, do, do.
34:57Did you change your pillowcases?
35:00No.
35:01Claire, do not leave them there.
35:02That looks like trash.
35:04Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:08Did you get the champagne?
35:09Yes.
35:10Yes.
35:11Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that.
35:16Claire, I'm, I'm playing with you.
35:19I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room and two, you're not a virgin.
35:25I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward.
35:29Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please do not ever Google that.
35:40Ever.
35:41You're not helping.
35:42So, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon.
35:50There's no going back.
35:51Going back to what?
35:53To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:56No.
35:57Not talking.
35:58Just...
36:00I don't know.
36:01We dated for so long.
36:02It feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time.
36:12She dragged that on wrong enough.
36:14What's that supposed to mean?
36:15Nothing, Claire.
36:16I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:19You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:22Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:24Oh god, that's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is going to be ten times better than Jake.
36:32Think about all that experience.
36:34Why would you say that?
36:36So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:39He's been with so many girls.
36:42What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, he thinks a lot.
36:47Just what I needed.
36:48That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:51Ah, it's Damon.
36:53Wish me luck.
36:54Bye.
37:00Hey.
37:01You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:12Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:28Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great. So you remember. She's back.
37:39Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:41I know we're supposed to hang tonight. Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:51Hmm, let me think about that.
37:53I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise she just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in like a week.
37:59Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place? Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not. She is the literal girl version of you.
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work. Trust me, it's strictly a friend name.
38:16I don't know. I know how you guys were when you were together. You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:23I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire. Come on. Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:30Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:33Okay, I don't want to fight. I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special-
38:41She's here. I gotta go.
38:43Love you.
38:44I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:01Ha ha. Funny. You know what else is funny? Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:07Wow. Which one? Please don't say Natasha.
39:14Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:16Thailand. And just for the year, sadly.
39:20Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:26Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay, Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything. Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:37Okay. He's pretty. He does that. Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon. I don't trust her.
39:48Shit. She just posted a story. I can't look at it. She'll know.
39:52She has 80,000 followers. She's not gonna see your name.
39:56I can't look, Zoe. You look.
40:00What is it?
40:02Are they-are they kissing? Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:14Why would you have me look at that?
40:16That's...
40:20This is it.
40:21You're gonna get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:31Again, with the not helping.
40:33This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives. I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane. Damon loves you. He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo? He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling. And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
40:55You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
41:01What's going on? Why are you taking my side on this?
41:04Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just saying that, like...
41:09Whatever. I gotta go. Don't trip. I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:13Beep. Beep. Beep.
41:14Beep. Beep.
41:19Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
41:25Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
41:26Hi.
41:27Are you calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:30Nothing.
41:32Where are you? I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:35Uh, yeah, I was. But, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:38What happened?
41:40Nothing. What? Nothing.
41:41Nothing nothing? Or something nothing?
41:45You were right. That was a bad idea. It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:50She hasn't changed at all. I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:56Wait. You kissed?
41:59No. No, she tried. Look, I'm really sorry, Claire. I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:04Did you want to kiss her?
42:06No way. Are you kidding? You're the only person I want to kiss. Like, ever.
42:09Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up? I'm outside.
42:16You're here?
42:18Wait, are you sure? I only have 700 followers.
42:22Please, you know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:26100%. But, do I see some black silk under there? I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on. Let me up.
42:32Keep going. Now, target zone for the tree punches. Right for the front of the face. Palms are down. Elbows are tight. There we go.
42:46Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning. Who need to get some mushy after sex? That's awesome.
42:56And he took me out for breakfast. Did I say that already? Like, four times.
43:01Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers? How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Damon was talking about how...
43:12Uppercuts. Target zone. Where is it? Underneath the chin. Elbows tied to the body. Now.
43:17Wow. That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad. I'm just tired.
43:26Well, we can pause it. I mean...
43:29No, Claire. I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:37You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right? And then Damon came. And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon. And now, Damon's calling me to talk about you and I am tired of it. We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:51I am your best friend.
43:52No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:54Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend. I mean...
44:04Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh, my God. What? Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually... great. I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything. This is so exciting. Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:33What do you mean it's not important? I want to know who stole my besties heart. Come on!
44:38She didn't steal anything. It just kind of... happened. I didn't think we'd get along so well, but... she's just perfect.
44:47Okay, so we've established it's a girl. I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking. I don't know. I don't know what we are. It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:08I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:23What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:26Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:29Hold on. You're dating Chelsea?
45:32Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:37Are you kidding me? We hate Chelsea!
45:40You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake. We care about me, right?
45:47So you're the other woman now.
45:49That's not fair. Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry, what?
45:54She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:58Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that? Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:06Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself!
46:12I would have talked you out of it!
46:14You don't even know her, Claire.
46:16Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:18And whose fault is that?
46:20Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once, you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you!
46:32I'm over it.
46:33Well, that went well.
46:44Uh oh. How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:55I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't happen easy, but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her? That feels like a small win.
47:01I guess.
47:02I don't know. It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her. Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that.
47:13I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:23Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:38I don't need her. I have you.
47:41As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about? Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
47:56Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:02Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired. They're done. I'm over it.
48:09I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with Claire, you just bottle it up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:17Well, she dominates every single conversation with me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you were feeling?
48:30Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond?
48:34Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:44Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:45Bad habit.
48:48Alright, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back. Bye.
48:56Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea? Did I open a cursed box? Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:04What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:10I will literally murder.
49:12She hasn't dated me.
49:13I will literally murder.
49:15Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:21No, do you?
49:23No. Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:27I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah. Another way how she's ruined our lives. Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:36Stay in her lane.
49:39What?
49:41Nothing. I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:45I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:49So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:52Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did?
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk?
50:02No, no. I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:07Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:13I'm sorry to say it, babe. You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset.
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute though. And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:26Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:30Don't hold your breath.
50:34Okay. I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:41You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course. You got this.
50:56Pick up. Please pick up.
51:00Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:15I know. I freaked. I'm just, I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:19But that doesn't matter. Because this isn't about me.
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:29Seriously, Claire. I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:33I think she might be my person.
51:39If you're happy.
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:56You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:05I checked.
52:07I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should've told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:18And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait...
52:29Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:33But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:40Now, spill the deets. You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:44Well, let's just say last night wasn't just... your special night?
52:58Bye.