- 5 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09Yeah, it's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um...
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah.
04:12You too.
04:13You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:14You don't have to wait.
04:15Thank you, though.
04:16I'm not.
04:17I'm actually...
04:18I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:19Do you have to do it right here?
04:20It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:22I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:23I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:24I'm not.
04:25I'm not.
04:26I'm not.
04:27I'm actually...
04:28I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:29Do you have to do it right here?
04:30It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:35I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:36Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:37Drama Queen 2020?
04:38Oh, man.
04:39What?
04:40This is epic.
04:41This is a mistake.
04:42Look, forgive me.
04:43I'm not.
04:44I'll be here any second.
04:45I'll be here any second.
04:46You don't have to wait.
04:47Thank you, though.
04:48I'm not.
04:49I'm actually...
04:50I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:51Do you have to do it right here?
04:52It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:55Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Hot shot 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:20What?
05:21That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a date, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming,
05:52and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
05:59Fine.
06:00But we follow my plan, no improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:07So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:22Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:30You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:35Where did we go on our first date?
06:38We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well, haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:13I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow, how romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:50Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:57How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:18Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:21Nope.
08:22No more of that.
08:23Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:24What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:25You already look amazing with that.
08:26You can save the theatrics for now.
08:27We're not at the party yet.
08:28No.
08:29I'm serious.
08:30You look beautiful.
08:31You always do.
08:33I guess I'm just nervous.
08:34Don't worry.
08:35I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:36Promise.
08:37I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:38Promise.
08:39You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake, anyway.
08:41I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:42Okay.
08:43Now I know you're joking.
08:45When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
08:47And you're ridiculously smart.
08:48You started all night.
08:49You started all night trying to work out of my family and my family.
08:52Would you be a good guy?
08:53But I'll be a good guy.
08:54No.
08:55I'll be a good guy.
08:56No.
08:57Happy birthday.
08:58No.
08:59I'll be a good guy.
09:00But I'll be a good guy.
09:01I'll be a good guy.
09:02I'd be a good guy.
09:03And he'd be a good guy.
09:05You're so dumb.
09:06You started in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus, it's still a time for mathletes.
09:13I can't believe you know all that. I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend. I had to keep my distance, but I still pay attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coyle.
09:29Hey, careful. I have a reputation doable.
09:32No, I'm serious. I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:36I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:43Claire?
09:46We're here.
10:02People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:10When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:13We have to Clark.
10:14We're here.
10:15We're here.
10:16We have to take us off.
10:17In the next couple of weeks, we'll get to him.
10:18Okay.
10:19That's okay.
10:20You're here.
10:21We have to go.
10:22I'm good.
10:23I'm good.
10:24I'm good.
10:26I'm good.
10:27I'm good.
10:28You're here.
10:30I have to go.
10:32Yeah, I'm good.
10:33You're here.
10:34I'm good.
10:35I'm good.
10:36I'm good.
10:37I'm good.
10:38Yeah.
10:39I'm going to give this drinks.
10:53I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow.
11:02It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right?
11:05It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:07Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town hottie?
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know.
11:15Pretending or actually having fun for once?
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my God, there he is.
11:28Oh my God, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me.
11:31Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:55It's time to AF this party up!
11:57Did someone say, never have I ever?
11:59Woo!
12:01Let's play.
12:04I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:18Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:20Okay, um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:28Ooh, cute.
12:31Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:37Oh!
12:39Ooh, cute.
12:42Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:05Oh!
13:06Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Hey, Claire.
13:19Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything.
13:27It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:39Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:43And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was going to be by my side the entire night and I thought we were...
13:50It doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box, it all comes crashing out around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13Yeah, so yeah, I'm done planning.
14:17Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:33Left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:36Of course.
14:37What?
14:38Just...
14:38Wait, wait, wait.
14:38Where are you going?
14:40Home.
14:41And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:43I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:46You just left me in there.
14:50I know, I'm sorry.
14:52I wasn't thinking...
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:54Look, you were right.
14:55Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan, this, it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there, so why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that?
15:20Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay?
15:24You never were.
15:27I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:29All right?
15:31I want...
15:32a real one.
15:34I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:42Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
15:45I don't want a fake date.
15:47Okay.
15:53I want a fake date with you.
15:59I don't want a fake date.
15:59Come on. Slapshot 239. Pick me home.
16:17Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:19Yeah. Just make sure these two dots match. They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay. I'm trusting the process. I'm just glad we get to go sag together.
16:29You never got a date, right?
16:31No date. But Damon's really not coming?
16:34I bought him a ticket in case he changes mine, but he won't budge.
16:37Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:44No way. I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:48And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:52I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:58At least she's vegan, so, you know, it'll be synthetic.
17:03Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:12Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise. Shocker.
17:16Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:17I don't even remember. You know, gossip travels. That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Damon.
17:36My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:43I mean, at least he's hot.
17:45So hot.
17:46It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
18:00it was over before it began.
18:02Jay-Zoey.
18:04Zoe. Absolutely not.
18:08Well, more Zoe for me.
18:10Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:11Oh, it's Damon.
18:15Oh, it's Damon.
18:17Or should I say Claremont?
18:19Can I call you back to finish this?
18:21Yeah, you can.
18:22Claremont.
18:23But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:25Okay. Bye.
18:27Hey, beautif-
18:29What's up with your eyes?
18:31It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:36Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes.
18:40I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies.
18:45Your royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on.
18:50You're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone.
18:53I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully,
18:58I bet you can hear Jay-
18:59Yep, there's Jay, bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun,
19:06and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:09What do you mean?
19:11Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:13I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:14Why could that be?
19:17Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:21Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:25She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:34And then, you know, for the rest of the school year,
19:36because I would have to play in prom,
19:38and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen,
19:41and then-
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could you not be?
19:48Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake.
19:52It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say.
19:54You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now,
19:58but I promise when you get out of high school,
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:02Wow, and you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature,
20:14maybe you should skip the dance together, get a cheese board,
20:17and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:24Oh, look.
20:25Someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean-
20:28Claire-
20:28Bye.
20:32I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:40Claire!
20:41Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:45Whoa, did Zoe do this to you?
20:48It's a work in progress.
20:49What's up?
20:50Cool.
20:51Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base
20:56and just, you know, make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:01You mean if we win?
21:04Oh, we're gonna win.
21:07Is Chelsea gonna be upset if win, we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Oh, texting someone else?
21:18Be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:21That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but I really am sorry.
21:31I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.
21:37It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39Just, at least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:43Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know.
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:57Jinx!
22:00Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:04Whoa.
22:05Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:08Yeah.
22:09I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah.
22:21You neither.
22:24I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about either way we make it happen.
22:33One dance before the night's over.
22:35Deal.
22:35As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:45Fine.
22:47As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What?
22:50You mean...
22:52This one?
22:53Oh, God.
22:54My eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:55My eyes!
23:01What, like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on.
23:03Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see.
23:07By all means.
23:08Okay.
23:11Oh.
23:24Sorry.
23:26Chelsea's calling me.
23:27I should get it.
23:27I'll see you later.
23:30Yeah.
23:31Yeah.
23:32See ya.
23:32Hello?
23:33Hello?
23:51Hello?
23:51Hello?
23:52Just want to show you what you're missing.
23:54Wow.
23:56You look incredible.
23:59Thanks.
24:00Are you...
24:01Are you going somewhere?
24:03Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:06Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:09I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming, and...
24:13I don't know.
24:14I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
24:16I...
24:17I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:20God, how do you...
24:22How do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:28If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:34You're coming?
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:44My grandmother made you just cute.
24:45Wait, what?
24:47Nothing.
24:47Nothing.
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well, how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:53Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to, and I, for one, am wearing my dancing
24:57shoes.
25:00Okay.
25:00This part always gets me.
25:20Yes!
25:22Yes.
25:22Yes.
25:23It is so sad.
25:25Are you watching hockey right now?
25:26What?
25:27What?
25:27No.
25:29No, I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:33Come on, babe.
25:34Tell me some slack.
25:35It's my birthday tomorrow, and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:39Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:41Classics just code for old.
25:43I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:45Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:51Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the
25:55first half of the day, and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:59Crap.
26:00Crap.
26:00Crap.
26:01Um, Nico, guitar plans is calling?
26:06Who's that?
26:08I completely forgot.
26:10I have a lesson now.
26:13Is this why you've gotten some of the guitar lately?
26:18Hey, my favorite student.
26:20And my favorite student's friend?
26:23We were just watching The Long Way, and we lost track of time.
26:27Oh, yes.
26:29I see you took my recommendation.
26:31Such a classic.
26:34Boyfriend.
26:36What?
26:37I'm not her friend.
26:38I'm her boyfriend.
26:39Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who was just leaving.
26:43Bye, Damon.
26:44I mean, I can stay.
26:46I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48No.
26:49I mean, no.
26:51No.
26:52She's right.
26:53Music is so personal.
26:55So intimate.
26:56Something to be shared between two.
26:58Or three.
26:58Oh, no.
26:59Almost never three.
27:04Young love.
27:05Such a beautiful thing.
27:07Love?
27:07Who said?
27:08I don't...
27:09We...
27:11I...
27:11We don't...
27:12Um...
27:13Have you ever been in love?
27:17Of course.
27:17Yeah, I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:22I mean, not a...
27:23Not a bunch of times.
27:24The normal amount of times.
27:26There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it, you know?
27:30There's just...
27:31There's a lot of stress, and then you don't know who should say it first, or when you should
27:35say it, or if they'll ever say it back, and...
27:38Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:51Yeah.
27:51Hey, Zoe, what's up?
28:01How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:06That's awesome.
28:07I'm...
28:07I'm also good.
28:09You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow.
28:13So, here's a funny little question for you.
28:18Claire's guitar teacher.
28:19Niko.
28:23Yeah.
28:25He's not even that good looking, like, at all.
28:26Oh, no, he's a solid 9.5, and then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:32I just think it's weird.
28:34You know, we...
28:35She's doubled her lessons while I've been away, and we're watching movies they both like.
28:40Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar
28:43player multiple times a week?
28:45I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe.
28:49Okay.
28:51I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:56I would know that she really wants to be with me, and not him.
29:00I just don't get it.
29:01I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
29:03I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:05Yeah, Damon, I don't know.
29:08Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:10Who am I going to talk to, Zoe?
29:12Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:13If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:18Jake?
29:18Yeah.
29:19Is that weird?
29:20I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay.
29:24You're right.
29:26You're good friends, though.
29:27Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:29Don't stress.
29:30I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:33Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:34Focus on that.
29:36Yeah.
29:37Thanks, y'all.
29:37I'll see you tomorrow.
29:39Beep, beep, beep.
29:45Love.
29:47Love.
29:49Hey, birthday boy.
29:51Not until tomorrow.
29:52Where's Jake?
29:53He's in the shower.
29:54He just got back from practice, and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda?
30:04What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does Perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:12Other than running off the guitar teacher?
30:14Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right.
30:15She starts signing with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:19Yeah, I set them up.
30:20He's amazing.
30:22So, so talented.
30:23So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn,
30:31so, yeah, I don't know.
30:33I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great.
30:35So this is your fault.
30:36Thanks a lot.
30:36Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:42That's not true.
30:43I listen.
30:45Whatever.
30:45Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:51Every girl should have a few lessons with him.
30:53He teaches you so much.
30:56I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:59What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:03Music, art, culture, languages.
31:06You're not, like, afraid she's going to ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with.
31:12Are you?
31:13But we have conversations, Chelsea.
31:16Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:17Oh, yeah.
31:18About what, huh?
31:19Hockey?
31:20And then hockey?
31:21Oh, of course, right.
31:22There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously, though, Damon.
31:25Hockey's like your one true love, and it's kind of boring.
31:28I love other things.
31:31Like what?
31:32Like Claire, and I don't want her running off with some guitar-playing, art-culture-looking snob, alright?
31:42Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked, and she's actually kind of interesting.
31:54So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah.
32:01It's actually not terrible advice.
32:04Considered my birthday gift to you.
32:06Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye!
32:17So, what are you still doing here?
32:19Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:23Bye!
32:24Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:26Thanks, bye.
32:39Hey!
32:41I was just gonna call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel, and this was going to be your birthday surprise, but...
32:53I just...
32:54I didn't think I could wait.
33:00Okay.
33:01Okay.
33:01You're the cream in my coffee, you're the apple of my eye.
33:15You make me want to laugh, and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:19You're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:26I have to say...
33:28Bye.
33:30Bye.
33:31I love you.
33:34I love you, too.
33:38Momentstealer.
33:39I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:41I love you so much, Claire.
33:43And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe, and...
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and she told me not to worry.
33:50And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:53Huh.
33:54I love.
33:55And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know.
33:58She sucks.
34:00But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I want to make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I want to watch whatever you want to watch and talk about musicals.
34:11Even the old ones.
34:11I don't care.
34:12Just no subtitles.
34:14Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:15Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:21Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I work really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:30Blue-eyed baby as bright as the sky
34:34Head in the cloud and then we've found so high
34:37I think that you're the one, so there's one thing I must do
34:41Have to say
34:46I love you
34:49Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
34:52Do-do-do-do-do-do-do
34:54Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No
34:59Claire, do not leave them there.
35:01That looks like trash
35:03Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah
35:07Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes
35:10Chocolates
35:11Chocolates
35:12Rose petals
35:13Massage oils
35:14Scented candles
35:15All of that
35:15Claire, I'm playing with you
35:18I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now
35:21One, Damon's been in your room
35:23And two, you're not a virgin
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers
35:27True
35:27That's awkward
35:29Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers
35:34Please do not ever Google that
35:40Ever
35:41You're not helping, so
35:43Look, this is a big night
35:45After tonight, that's it
35:47What do you mean this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon
35:50There's no going back
35:51Going back to what?
35:53To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:56No, not talking
35:58Just
35:59I don't know
36:01We dated for so long
36:02It feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him
36:08So I know he's not in a good place
36:10About time
36:12She dragged that on long enough
36:14What's that supposed to mean?
36:15Nothing, Claire
36:16I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal
36:19You're good
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:23Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh god, that's so awkward
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you
36:29Plus, Damon is going to be ten times better than Jake
36:32Think about all that experience
36:34Why would you say that?
36:36So, I didn't even think of it like that
36:38He's been with so many girls
36:42What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, thanks a lot
36:46Just what I needed
36:47That's literally not what I meant at all
36:51It's Damon
36:53Wish me luck
36:55Bye
36:56Hey
37:01You are definitely running late
37:06But since you are shirtless
37:09And you probably smell good
37:10I'll let it slide
37:11You are definitely running late
37:15But since you are shirtless
37:17And you probably smell good
37:19I'll let it slide
37:20Hey, so I got some news
37:22Bad news?
37:24No, just, uh, do you remember...
37:27Natasha?
37:29Natasha, your super hot ex
37:31Who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand
37:36But, yeah, great
37:37So you remember
37:38She's back
37:39Oh, so it's horrible news
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight
37:43Do you mind if I rain check?
37:45Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model
37:49Who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:51Hmm, let me think about that
37:53I know it's a little bit weird
37:55But I promise
37:56She just wants to stop by
37:57Show me some pictures
37:58And she's leaving again in, like, a week
38:00Wait, wait
38:00She's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her
38:04Like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not
38:10She is the literal girl version of you
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work
38:14Trust me, it's strictly a friend name
38:16I don't know
38:17I know how you guys were when you were together
38:19You couldn't keep your hands off each other
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you
38:23I'm being serious
38:25We both have exes, Claire
38:27Come on
38:27Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years
38:30Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years
38:33Okay, I don't want to fight
38:35I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight
38:38I was hoping this could be our special
38:41She's here, I gotta go
38:43Love you
38:44I know I said I wanted updates
38:58But definitely did not mean in real time
39:00Ha ha, funny
39:02You know what else is funny?
39:05Damon, running off with his ex-girlfriend
39:06Wow, which one?
39:09Please don't say Natasha
39:10Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:16Thailand
39:16And just for the year, sadly
39:19Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense
39:23And now she's returned to ruin my perfect night
39:25Claire, she's an influencer
39:27Not a comic book villain
39:29Same difference
39:30Okay, Natasha's back
39:32But that doesn't have to mean anything
39:33Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered
39:37Okay
39:38He's pretty
39:40He does that
39:41Anything else?
39:44I trust Damon
39:45I don't trust her
39:46Shit
39:49She just posted a story
39:50I can't look at it
39:52She'll know
39:52She has 80,000 followers
39:54She's not gonna see your name
39:55I can't look, Zoe
39:57You look
39:58What is it?
40:02Are they kissing?
40:04Are they back together?
40:04Okay, maybe you should look at it
40:06So you can stop freaking out
40:08Why would you have me look at that?
40:16Ugh
40:17This is it
40:21You're gonna get married
40:22Have two and a half kids
40:23And have a yurt in Iceland
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik
40:27Is really beautiful in springtime, actually
40:29Again, with the not helping
40:33But this was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives
40:35I'm allowed to be disappointed
40:37But you're being insane
40:38Damon loves you
40:40He's not getting back together with Natasha
40:42Did you see the photo?
40:44He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her
40:48They're not snuggling
40:49And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night
40:52So you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader
40:55You didn't tell him about this perfect night
40:57So you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader
41:00What's going on?
41:02Why are you taking my side on this?
41:05Nothing's wrong with me
41:06I'm just saying that like
41:07Whatever
41:09I gotta go
41:10Don't trip
41:11I'm sure it'll be fine
41:12Hi
41:26Are you calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:30Nothing
41:30Where are you?
41:32I thought you were hanging out with Natasha
41:34Uh, yeah, I was
41:35But, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take
41:38What happened?
41:40Nothing, what?
41:40Nothing
41:41Nothing, nothing, or something, nothing
41:44You were right
41:45That was a bad idea
41:47It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends
41:49She hasn't changed at all
41:51I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her
41:53And she tried to kiss me
41:55Wait
41:56You kissed?
41:58No, no, she tried
41:59Look, I'm really sorry, Claire
42:01I shouldn't have put myself in that position
42:03Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way, are you kidding?
42:07You're the only person I want to kiss
42:08Like, ever
42:09Why don't you
42:11Say that to my face
42:13Why don't you let me up?
42:14I'm outside
42:15You're here?
42:18Wait, are you sure?
42:19I only have 700 followers
42:21Please, you know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:25100%
42:26But
42:27Do I see some black silk under there?
42:29I'm much more interested in that
42:31Come on
42:31Let me up
42:32Keep going
42:40Now
42:40Target zone for the tree
42:41Punch it
42:41Right for the front of the face
42:42Palms are down
42:43Elbows are tight
42:45There
42:45We go
42:46Now
42:47Damon's texted me
42:48I love you
42:49Three times since this morning
42:51Who knew he'd get some mushy after sex?
42:54That's awesome
42:55And he took me out for breakfast
42:57Did I say that already?
42:59Like four times
43:00Oh, well, now I guess I said it five
43:02Anyway
43:03Did you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:06How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Damon was talking about how
43:12Uppercuts
43:12Target zone
43:13Where is it?
43:13Underneath the chin
43:14Elbows are tight to the body
43:15Now
43:16Wow
43:17That's actually the first question you've asked me in months
43:21Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad
43:24I'm just tired
43:26Well, we can pause it
43:28I mean, no, Claire
43:29I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance
43:32That we've been doing since you started dating Damon
43:34I don't know what you're talking about
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came
43:40And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon
43:44And now Damon's calling me to talk about you
43:46And I am tired of it
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend
43:51No, I'm your best friend
43:53And you've been asleep at the wheel
43:54I am your best friend
43:56No, I'm your best friend
43:58And you've been asleep at the wheel
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend
44:03But I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend
44:05I mean
44:06Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend
44:08Has been going through something huge the past few months
44:12Oh my god
44:13What?
44:14Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great
44:18I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious
44:22But it's been exhausting
44:24Not being able to just talk to you about it
44:27You can talk to me about anything
44:28This is so exciting
44:30Who is it?
44:31It's not important
44:32What do you mean it's not important?
44:35I want to know who stole my bestie's heart
44:37Come on
44:38She didn't steal anything
44:39It just kind of happened
44:41I didn't think we'd get along so well
44:44But she's just perfect
44:47Okay, so we've established it's a girl
44:51I mean that shrinks the pool a little
44:54But you still haven't given me a good enough hint
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect
44:58And it's just like the honeymoon phase talking
45:00I don't know
45:01I don't know what we are
45:03It's like we're dating
45:05But we haven't put a label on it yet
45:08I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea
45:12What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with
45:18I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea
45:22What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:25Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with
45:28Hold on
45:30You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined my life Chelsea
45:36Are you kidding me?
45:38We hate Chelsea!
45:40You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake
45:45We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now
45:48That's not fair
45:49Especially because she wasn't even that into him
45:52I'm sorry, what?
45:53What? She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:59Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan
46:09To date the she-devil herself!
46:12I would have talked you out of it!
46:14You don't even know her, Claire
46:15Seems like I don't know either of you
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once
46:26You get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you
46:31I'm over it
46:33Well, that went well
46:44Uh-oh
46:45How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin
46:50Then that was a 14.7
46:53Gross
46:53I'm sorry, babe
46:55I know it couldn't happen easy
46:57But at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her?
47:00That feels like a small win
47:01I guess
47:02I don't know, it's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that
47:12I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe
47:17Cool
47:20Cool
47:22Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me
47:35Whatever
47:36I don't need her
47:39I have you
47:40As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever
47:44You guys have way too much history to throw it away
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about, yeah, it's active
47:50Babe, I'm serious
47:52You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one
47:56Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired, they're done, I'm over it
48:03I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with Claire you just bottled it up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself
48:14Well, she dominates every single conversation with me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that
48:21So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us? Or about how you were feeling? Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond?
48:30Maybe
48:32Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong
48:36Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:46Bad habit
48:48Alright, let me figure this out
48:51Okay, call me back
48:53Bye
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:58Chelsea? Did I open a cursed box? Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:03What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me
49:09I will literally murder
49:11She hasn't dated me
49:12I will literally murder
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life too
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:23No? Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it
49:27I thought you guys were becoming buds, didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh yeah, another way how she's ruined our lives
49:34Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing, I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe
49:44I think it's cool, Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:55Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did
49:58Okay, so you think I'm the jerk
50:01No, no, I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me
50:09Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone, she's the chillest person I know
50:13I'm sorry to say it babe, you know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset
50:18I was wrong
50:20You're still very cute though, and I bet you're even cuter when you apologize
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day
50:29Don't hold your breath
50:33Okay, I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had
50:40You got this, I'm proud of you
50:42And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult
50:48Of course, you got this
50:51Pick up, please pick up
50:57Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world
51:03I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too
51:11I messed up
51:12You messed up big time
51:14I know, I freaked
51:16I'm just, I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name
51:21But that doesn't matter
51:24Because this isn't about me
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more
51:28Seriously, Claire, I've never felt this way about anybody before
51:34I think she might be my person
51:38If you're happy
51:40I'm happy
51:42Truly
51:43Look, I love you, so
51:45You're my best friend
51:47And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me
51:50You're my best friend
51:52And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me
51:56You know there's an app for that
51:58Best friend for hire?
51:59Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you
52:04I checked
52:09I'm sorry too
52:11I should've told you way sooner
52:13It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but
52:21If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along
52:26Wait
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad
52:39Now, spill the deets, you have dirt to catch me up on
52:42Well, let's just say last night wasn't just your special night?
Be the first to comment