- today
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09It's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:57Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
04:00Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um, no.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:12You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39Actually, I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Stop Shop 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08It's not easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:21What?
05:22That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a day to make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you?
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Yeah.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous, and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan.
06:04No improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:08So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:21Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend.
06:30Remember?
06:31You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:36Where did we go on our first date?
06:38Um...
06:40We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well...
07:05Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:09Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:12I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:15Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow.
07:30How romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:34Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With the fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:48Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:56How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risk worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope.
08:28No more of that.
08:30Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:35You already look amazing with that.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now.
08:39We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious.
08:41You look beautiful.
08:43You always do.
08:46I guess I'm just nervous.
08:48Don't worry.
08:49I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:51I promise.
08:52You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:54I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:56Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:58When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:02I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:06You started all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You still have time for math leads.
09:11I can't believe you know all that.
09:15I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:19I had to keep my distance, but I still paid attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too cool for school act,
09:26you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coral.
09:29Hey, careful.
09:31I have a reputation doable.
09:33No, I'm serious.
09:34I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:44Claire?
09:45We're here.
09:47We're here.
10:05People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:09When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for them.
10:12I'm fun for them.
10:42I'm gonna give this drinks.
10:43I'll be right back.
10:44Okay.
10:45Wow, wow, wow.
10:46It looks like things are heating up.
10:47I know, right?
10:48It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
10:49Yeah, no.
10:50I was talking about you two.
10:51What?
10:52You and the town hottie.
10:53I know.
10:54I know.
10:55I know.
10:56I know.
10:57I was talking about you two.
10:58What?
10:59You and the town hottie.
11:00I know.
11:01I know.
11:02I know.
11:03I know.
11:04I know.
11:05I know.
11:06I know.
11:07I know.
11:08I know.
11:09I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:11You and the town hottie?
11:12No.
11:13I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:18You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:24Oh my god, there he is.
11:27Oh my god, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me.
11:31Look at his face.
11:32Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:35So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:40He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:53Time to AF this party up!
11:57Did someone say never have ever?
11:59Woo!
12:00I know!
12:01Let's play.
12:03I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:19Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:21Okay.
12:22Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:28Ooh, cute.
12:30Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:38Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:39Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:43Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
12:48Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
12:51Face it, Claire.
12:52You'll never be more than just another number to him.
12:56Claire.
12:57Claire.
12:58Claire.
12:59Claire.
13:00Seriously, Claire?
13:01You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:27No, I didn't do anything!
13:28Chelsea. Don't blame Chelsea. You're just jealous.
13:34You know what? You two deserve each other.
13:39Hey dude, are you okay? Because that game was brutal. And where did Damon run off to?
13:46I don't know. He said he was going to be by my side the entire night and I thought we were...
13:52doesn't even matter anymore. Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02it all comes crashing down around me. And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is
14:08off god knows where probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:14So yeah, I'm done planning. Plans can suck it.
14:27Hey, sorry I ran out like that. I left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:35Of course. What? Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going?
14:39Home. And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you. I wouldn't want you to miss
14:44out on any more epic dates. Hey, talk to me. You just left me in there.
14:50I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I don't care anymore, Damon. Look,
14:54you were right. Jake's an ass. So the plan, this, it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over? What if I don't want it to be over?
15:06You could have your pick of any girl out there. So why don't you just get on the app and find
15:11someone else? Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What? I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that? Look, I know I'm just another number. You're not just another number,
15:23okay? You never were. I don't want a fake date with you anymore. All right? I want a real one.
15:36I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:42Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
16:06Come on. Slapshot 239. Pick me home.
16:11Are you sure I'm doing this right? Yeah. Just make sure these two dots match. They'll make that
16:22side a little bit bigger. Okay. I'm trusting the process. I'm just glad we get to go sag together.
16:29You never got a date, right? No date. But Damon's really not coming? I bought him a ticket in case
16:35he changed his mind, but he won't budge. Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the
16:41best homecoming queen that we have ever seen. No way. I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:48And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:51I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head. At least she's vegan,
17:00so you know it'll be synthetic. Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise. Shocker. Where did you even hear that anyway?
17:19I don't even remember. You know, gossip travels. That looks pretty good. But it could also be your
17:26newfound popularity from dating Damon. It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on
17:31a motorcycle every single day. Yes, Damon. My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to
17:39take his girlfriend to her school dance. I mean, at least he's hot. So hot.
17:49It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date. Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him. As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have
17:58one of those cool celebrity abbreviations, it was over before it began. Jay-Zoe.
18:04Zoe. Absolutely not. Well, more Zoe for me. Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:12Oh, it's Damon. Oh, it's Damon. Or should I say Claremont? Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can. Claremont. But you better because we need to finish this look. Okay. Bye.
18:27Hey, beautiful. What's up with your eyes? It's not finished yet. You look like Amy Winehouse on a
18:35Tuesday morning. Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight. Ah, yes. I almost forgot who I was
18:42speaking with. My sincerest apologies. Your royalness. I know how you can make it up to me. Nope.
18:49Come on. You're seriously gonna let me do this alone? You're not gonna be alone. I thought you
18:54were wrong with Zoe. Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jay. Yep, there's Jay,
19:00bouncing off the walls. Dude is pumped. Yeah, because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have
19:07a date like he does. Yeah, for now. What do you mean? Chelsea's been soft ghosting him. I don't think she's
19:13that excited about the dance. Why could that be? Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:21Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it. I bet that is it. She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night. And then, you know, for the rest of the school
19:35year because I would have to play in prom and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen
19:40and then- I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are. How could she
19:45not be? Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake. It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say. You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up. I get that this seems
19:57like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school you'll realize none of this
20:01stuff matters. Wow, and you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness? No, I'm not
20:11talking about her. You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the
20:15dance together and get a cheese board and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff
20:22that actually matters. Oh, look. Someone my age is calling. I didn't mean- Claire. Bye.
20:36I need to fix this. Hey, Jake. Claire! Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:45Whoa, did- did Zoe do this to you? It's a work in progress. What's up? Cool.
20:51Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things don't get
21:00awkward tonight. You mean if we win? Oh, we're gonna win.
21:07Is Chelsea gonna be upset if we win? If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice,
21:15maybe. Oh, texting someone else? It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship. That
21:21would suck. Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but
21:27I really am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I-I-I would.
21:37It's fine. It's fine. Just, at least she'll be there. Damon won't even come.
21:43Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances. I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know. It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:56Jinx! Jinx! Don't tell anyone that I just said that. Whoa. Is that the dress that you've been
22:06saving since freshman year? Yeah. I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:19Yeah. You neither. I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about either way we make it happen. One dance before the night's over. Deal.
22:35As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year. It was both.
22:42Fine. As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What? You mean, this one? Oh god, my eyes! Stop it! My eyes!
23:01What, like, you can do better? Oh, come on.
23:04Anyone can do better than whatever that was. Let's see, by all means.
23:12Oh, uh, sorry. Chelsea's calling me. I should get it. I'll see you later.
23:30Yeah, yeah. See ya.
23:42Hello? Hello? Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:56Wow. You look incredible. Thanks. Are you, are you going somewhere?
24:02Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:05Look, I'm sorry about before. I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and,
24:13I don't know, I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too. I, I should have known how important it was to you.
24:18It's okay.
24:20God, how do you, how do you do this?
24:22You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:28If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:31Is this going to match your dress? You're coming? And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns? I just want to make sure people
24:41know who the true king and queen are. My grandmother made you just cute.
24:45Wait, what? Nothing, nothing. I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well, how about a little less chit chat and a little more boogie? Come on,
24:53Claire, we got a homecoming to get to. And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
24:57Okay, this part always gets me.
25:20Yes! Yes, yes, it is so sad.
25:24Are you watching hockey right now?
25:27What? No. No, I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:33Come on, babe, tell me some slack. It's my birthday tomorrow,
25:35and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon. Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:41Classics just code for old.
25:43I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:46Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:49Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half
25:55of the day, and then, you know, we got to party later, um...
25:58Crap. Crap. Crap.
26:03Um, Nico Guitar Flames is calling? Who's that?
26:07I, I completely forgot. I have a lesson now.
26:13Is this why you've gotten so into the guitar lately?
26:18Hey, my favorite student, and my favorite student's friend?
26:23We were just watching The Long Way, and we lost track of time.
26:27Oh, yes. I see you took my recommendation. Such a classic.
26:34Boyfriend.
26:34What?
26:36I'm not her friend. I'm her boyfriend.
26:38Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who, who was just leaving. Bye, Damon.
26:44I mean, I can stay. I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48But, no. I, I mean, no, no.
26:52She's right. Music is so personal. So intimate. Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no. Almost never three.
27:00Young love. Such a beautiful thing.
27:06Love? Who said? I, I don't, we, I, I, we don't, um.
27:12Have you ever been in love?
27:15Of course. Yeah, I, I've been in love a bunch of times. I mean, not a, not a bunch of times.
27:24The normal amount of times. There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it.
27:30You know, there's just, there's a lot of stress. And then, yeah, you don't know who should say it first.
27:33Or when you should say it. Or if, if they'll ever say it back. And...
27:38Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin? Should we begin?
27:50Yeah.
27:51Yeah.
27:58Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe. What's up? How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:03That's awesome. I'm, I'm also good. You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow. So, here's a funny little question for you. Claire's guitar teacher.
28:21Nico. Yeah.
28:25He's not even that good looking. Like, at all.
28:26Oh, no. He's a solid 9.5. And then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:31I just think it's, it's, it's weird. You know, we, she's doubled her lessons while I've been away.
28:37And we're watching movies they both like. Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend
28:42hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:45I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:46Zoe.
28:49Okay. I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:56I would know that she really wants to be with me and not him.
28:59I just don't get it. I mean, she's being so secretive about it. I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:06Yeah, Damon, I don't know. Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:10Who am I going to talk to, Zoe? Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:13If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:18Jake?
29:18Yeah. Is that weird? I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay. You're right. You're good friends, though. Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:29Don't stress. I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:34Focus on that.
29:35Yeah. Thanks, Zoe. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:38Hey, birthday boy.
29:50Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:52He's in the shower. He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:02So what's on the agenda? What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding. Obviously. Does perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher? Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right. She started signing with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:19Yeah, I set them up. He's amazing. So, so talented. So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn, so...
30:32Yeah, I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great. So this is your fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:42That's not... That's not true. I listen.
30:45Whatever. Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:51Every girl should have a few lessons with him. He teaches you so much.
30:56I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:58What exactly wouldn't I understand? What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:04Music, art, culture, languages. You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can
31:10actually have a conversation with. Are you?
31:12But we have conversations, Chelsea. Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:17Oh yeah, about what, huh? Hockey? And then hockey? Oh, of course, right. There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love and it's kind of boring.
31:28I love other things.
31:30Like what?
31:31Like Claire and I don't want her running off with some guitar playing art culture looking snob,
31:40all right? Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced
31:48us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked and she's actually kind of
31:54interesting. So maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah, it's actually not terrible advice.
32:04Consider it my birthday gift to you.
32:06Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So what are you still doing here? Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:16Bye.
32:17So what are you still doing here? Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:23Bye.
32:24Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever. Thanks, bye.
32:29Hey, I was just gonna call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel and and I this was going to be a birthday surprise, but
32:52I just, I didn't think I could wait.
33:08You're the cream in the coffee, you're the apple of my eye. You make me want to laugh when I think I'm gonna cry, but because you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:23I have to say, I love you.
33:31I love you.
33:34I love you too.
33:37Mom and steal her.
33:38I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it. I love you so much, Claire. And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and-
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and she told me not to worry. And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:54Love. And I talked to Chelsea.
33:56Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know, she sucks. But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible. I want to make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire. I want to watch whatever you want to watch and talk about musicals. Even the old ones, I don't care. Just, no subtitles. Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song? I worked really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:28Do you think I could finish my song?
34:30Blue, white, baby, as bright as the sky.
34:34Hit it in the clouds and then we fell so high.
34:37I think that you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:44I have to say, I love you.
34:49Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.
34:57Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No, Claire, do not leave them there. That looks like trash.
35:04Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:08Did you get the champagne?
35:09Yes.
35:11Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that?
35:15Claire, I'm playing with you. I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True. That's awkward. Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please do not ever Google that. Ever.
35:41You're not helping, so look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean, this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon, there's no going back.
35:52Going back to what? To Jake? Have you guys been talking or something?
35:57No. Not talking. Just...
36:00I don't know, we dated for so long, it feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time. She dragged that on long enough.
36:14What's that supposed to mean?
36:15Nothing, Claire. I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal. You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:23Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh god, that's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is going to be ten times better than Jake. Think about all that experience.
36:33Why would you say that, so? I didn't even think of it like that.
36:40He's been with so many girls. What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, thanks a lot. It's just what I needed.
36:47That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:52Oh, it's Damon. Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
36:56You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:11You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:21Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:27Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great. So you remember. She's back.
37:40Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight. Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:52Hmm, let me think about that.
37:53I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise. She just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in, like, a week.
38:00Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not. She is the literal girl version of you.
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work. Trust me, it's strictly a friend name.
38:17I don't know. I know how you guys were when you were together. You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:24I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire. Come on.
38:28Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:30Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:34Okay, I don't want to fight. I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special...
38:42She's here. I gotta go.
38:43Love you.
38:43I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:00Ha ha. Funny. You know what else is funny?
39:05Damon, running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:07Wow. Which one? Please don't say Natasha.
39:11Huh.
39:12Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:16Thailand. And just for the year, sadly.
39:20Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:26Claire, she's an influencer. Not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay. Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything. Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:38Okay. He's pretty. He does that. Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon. I don't trust her.
39:48Shit. She just posted a story. I can't look at it. She'll know.
39:52She has 80,000 followers. She's not gonna see your name.
39:56I can't look, Zoe. You look.
40:00What is it? Are they, are they kissing? Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:14Why would you have me look at that?
40:20This is it.
40:21You're gonna get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:30Again, with the not helping.
40:33This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives. I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane. Damon loves you. He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo?
40:44He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not. They're not snuggling.
40:50And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
40:55You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
41:01What's going on? Why are you taking my side on this?
41:05Nothing's wrong with me.
41:06I'm just saying that, like, whatever. I gotta go. Don't trip. I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:12Beep, beep, beep.
41:26Hi.
41:27You calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:30Nothing.
41:31Where are you? I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:34Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:38What happened?
41:40Nothing. What? Nothing.
41:41Nothing, nothing? Or something, nothing?
41:44You were right. That was a bad idea. It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:50She hasn't changed at all. I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:56Wait. You kissed?
41:58No, no, she tried. Look, I'm really sorry, Claire. I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:03Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way. Are you kidding? You're the only person I want to kiss. Like, ever.
42:09Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up? I'm outside.
42:16You're here?
42:18Wait, are you sure?
42:19I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please, you know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:25100%.
42:26But, do I see some black silk under there? I'm much more interested in that. Come on. Let me up.
42:39Keep going. Now, target zone for the tree. Punch it right for the front of the face. Palms are down. Elbows are tight. There we go.
42:46Now, Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning. Who need to get some mushy after sex? That's awesome. And he took me out for breakfast. Did I say that already? Like four times.
43:01Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:02Anyway, did you hear that Natasha pays for her followers? How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Two uppercuts, let's go.
43:12Uppercuts, target zone. Where is it? Underneath the chin. Elbows are tight to the body. Now.
43:17Wow. That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad, I'm just tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it. I mean...
43:29No, Claire. I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came. And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon.
43:44And now Damon's calling me to talk about you and I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean...
44:06Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh my god. What? Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:18I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything.
44:29This is so exciting. Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important?
44:34I want to know who stole my bestie's heart. Come on!
44:38She didn't steal anything. It just kind of happened.
44:42I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:47Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:52I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
45:01I don't know. I don't know what we are.
45:04It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:09I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:15Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:23What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:26Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:29Hold on.
45:31You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:37Are you kidding me? We hate Chelsea!
45:40You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:45We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair.
45:50Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry, what?
45:53She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:58Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself.
46:12I would have talked you out of it.
46:13You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15See, it's like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once,
46:27you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:32I'm over it.
46:32Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh.
46:45How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:53I'm sorry, babe.
46:55I know it couldn't happen easy.
46:57But at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her?
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:03I don't know.
47:03It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that.
47:12I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:23Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:38I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:40As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about?
47:48Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious.
47:52You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
47:57Babe, I'm serious.
47:58You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired.
48:06They're done.
48:08I'm over it.
48:08I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with Claire, you just bottled it up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you were feeling?
48:30Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond.
48:35Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:41Hmm.
48:41Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:46Bad habit.
48:49Alright, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back.
48:54Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea?
49:00Did I open a curse box?
49:01Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:03What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this?
49:19Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:23No?
49:24Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:27I thought you guys were becoming butts.
49:29Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah.
49:32Another way how she's ruined our lives.
49:35Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing.
49:42I just...
49:42I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:44I think it's cool.
49:46Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:54Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did?
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no.
50:03I just...
50:03I think it's...
50:05Maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone.
50:12She's the chillest person I know.
50:14I'm sorry to say it, babe.
50:15You know I'm on your side, but...
50:17If she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though.
50:23And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but...
50:27I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:30Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay.
50:35I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this.
50:41I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:48Of course.
50:50You got this.
50:50Pick up, please pick up.
51:00Never have I ever...
51:01Been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know.
51:15I-I-I freaked.
51:17I'm just-I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:27Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:30Seriously, Claire.
51:31I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:33I think she might be my person.
51:39If you're happy.
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:56You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:09I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should've told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait.
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:41You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just your special night?
52:56Your specialty makeup, which I'm not allowed to wear.
52:58See you guys, bye.
53:19See you guys.
53:20Bye.
53:21Yeah.
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