- 2 months ago
The Three Badasses Who Want Me (2025) - FULL [Eng Sub]
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:06What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:10Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:15If your mother-in-law sees, she's gonna throw a Bigfoot again.
00:00:20Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:23What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply
00:00:26it to your penniless self?
00:00:28And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:32All right, everybody get out!
00:00:35We got an important guest coming!
00:00:39You!
00:00:44You deaf, I said pack up and scram!
00:00:47I paid this off here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine,
00:00:50but you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:00:54You want to say that again?
00:00:58You know who's visiting today?
00:01:00Ellen freaking Musk!
00:01:01One of the richest people in the world!
00:01:03Ellen Musk?
00:01:05Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:07Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:11Really?
00:01:12Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:01:17You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:23Coming to see you!
00:01:24All right, you know what?
00:01:26I'll play your game.
00:01:28If she does this so much as give you a glance,
00:01:30I'll eat dirt.
00:01:35Deal.
00:01:43Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within 10 minutes, or else you're fired.
00:01:58Prepare the limo.
00:02:09Ms. Lockhart requires this immediately.
00:02:18Ah, you're 10 minutes.
00:02:19You're so messed up.
00:02:19Good.
00:02:20Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:23Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:35Ellen, uh, I mean, Ms. Musk, Ellen, uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:43What?
00:02:45How's my boss, bitch?
00:02:46Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:02:48So how do you, like...
00:02:52She's my boss.
00:02:54I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:02:58No way.
00:03:02Well?
00:03:06No.
00:03:06No.
00:03:07No!
00:03:07No, no, I'm sorry for effending your boss.
00:03:09No, I won't do it again.
00:03:13All right, that's enough.
00:03:15We're not tyrants here.
00:03:23Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:25You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:33My runaway bride.
00:03:36You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:41Who are you?
00:03:44Where is she?
00:03:46Atlanta.
00:03:47And you were right.
00:03:48It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:50My clever bride.
00:03:52I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:03:55You're right.
00:03:59Max, prep the jet.
00:04:01I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:07Dr. Wilson, that means Sterling's on the move.
00:04:09He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:10Atlanta?
00:04:11The game is afoot.
00:04:12I'm going.
00:04:14Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:16He can wait.
00:04:17I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:23Dr. Wilson!
00:04:25General Eisenhower reporting.
00:04:31Who?
00:04:33Devon Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:36Atlanta!
00:04:38Where is that?
00:04:40Whatever, prepare my warplank.
00:04:42Dosu going after my fiance.
00:04:44This is war.
00:04:53I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project,
00:05:06like you asked me to.
00:05:07Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:09This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:13That project is worth billions.
00:05:14He can finally take his company public.
00:05:16But Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever
00:05:24revealing your true identity.
00:05:27Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:32Well, three years ago...
00:05:34You saved me.
00:05:55He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:03I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being
00:06:07with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:10But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then
00:06:15I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:17So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:21I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:25But why work at the flea market?
00:06:28Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:31Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:37Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:41You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:47Where the hell are you?
00:06:48Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:52Get home stat.
00:06:53It's a big day today.
00:06:56That was...
00:06:58My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:03But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:09You know, she even remembered her third year anniversary.
00:07:17Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:21Hi, I'm home.
00:07:23I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:26Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:31Divorce papers.
00:07:34Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:38God, don't call me Mom again.
00:07:41We're ending that relationship.
00:07:43Just look at you. Dirt all over.
00:07:46You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:48You don't deserve my son. You're way below his league.
00:07:53I'm below his league?
00:07:54That's right.
00:07:56You are.
00:07:56Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with THE Ellen Musk, and then his company's going public.
00:08:06That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:09But you? You're still just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:08:15Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:17And you...
00:08:17You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:22Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:26Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:29But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:31Ha!
00:08:32You're delusional.
00:08:34You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:37How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:43Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:46And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:54You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:08:59Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee, not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:03Enough!
00:09:04Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:09But I am.
00:09:12Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:13Here's 500k.
00:09:16You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:20Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:09:23Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:27I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:32Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:34I didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:38Fine. Here's another 200,000.
00:09:40500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:44She's done nothing.
00:09:46Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:49She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:52Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:09:55I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:09:59You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:05And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench.
00:10:09A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:12What a joke.
00:10:13If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already and leave.
00:10:23You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me,
00:10:28let alone taking the company public?
00:10:31I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:33Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:41It's all my work, baby.
00:10:46We're gonna be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:52Yes. You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:10:58So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:02She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:06Fine. I'll sign it.
00:11:10But don't regret it.
00:11:13Regret? Do you know who I am?
00:11:16Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:11:20I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:25Jared winning the bid at Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:30Because he's business partners with Elon Musk.
00:11:34It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:38You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:42Social stratum matters.
00:11:44Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:46And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:51And you really think Elon Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:11:56Ha! You're delusional.
00:11:58Now sign the peepers and scram!
00:12:01You own me, you dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:15You hit me.
00:12:20Now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:23I don't need your penny money.
00:12:42We're finished.
00:12:44You don't want the money that's your loss.
00:12:47Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:50But I would like my ring back.
00:12:52Wow.
00:13:02Have fun on your economy flight while I catch you right on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:07And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:20Isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring?
00:13:23It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:27Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:30Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:32You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:38Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:44Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:51Bigger big shot than Elon Musk?
00:13:53Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:13:57Oh, everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:02Uh, Angela? Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:22Vanderbilt?
00:14:22Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
00:14:27Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:29Well, you're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:34That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:41Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:15:02Who is he?
00:15:04That? That's Devin Sterling. He's number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list and early investor of crypto,
00:15:12CEO of Sterling Enterprises. Rumor has that he's worth trillions.
00:15:16And he's your fiancΓ©.
00:15:20What? What? My fiancΓ©?
00:15:22The one and only.
00:15:26So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:31have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:15:35That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:49What is she doing here?
00:15:54You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:15:59Divorced?
00:16:03That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be Mr. Sterling.
00:16:10Devin Sterling.
00:16:13So, she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:16Guess she's not just a forsaken woman. She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:22How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:16:27Who the fuck are you, bitch? Do you know who I am?
00:16:33They don't know who you are. You hide it well.
00:16:38X-Team! Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:43Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:45Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:53You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:01Mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:03I'll have to.
00:17:08Toss these ill-mannered apes out.
00:17:10Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:20A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:24No.
00:17:25Uh, guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:35You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffet, old money like me.
00:17:40Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:43Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:45Your families all started empires after the industrial revolution. What an honor.
00:17:49I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:52It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:54Congrats. You'll be next.
00:17:57But we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:18:00Pardon me.
00:18:00Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:04Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:07So, I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:11Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:18:12Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:17Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful guest,
00:18:21even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:24Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:33Up to my best.
00:18:34Excuse me, second gentleman.
00:18:42What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:47How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:49Me, a hobo.
00:18:51How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:54You sleep your way in?
00:18:55I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:18:58Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:02Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:06This is your ex-husband?
00:19:10What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:12Who the hell is this?
00:19:14You were cheating on me?
00:19:28Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:31That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:37They even took Kaylee's tiara!
00:19:39You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:56Get your hands off of her!
00:20:01My lady.
00:20:09My queen.
00:20:28It's...
00:20:30It's him!
00:20:32He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:20:35Who are these peasants?
00:20:37These seats are reserved for the Ellen Musk and her special guest!
00:20:42Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:45You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:49Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:51That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:52You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:55His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:20:59The Civil War would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:03Vanderbilt.
00:21:04The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt.
00:21:09Who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:14That, Lolly Vanderbilt family?
00:21:16Oh, goddammit, a stomach ache now?
00:21:30Whatever.
00:21:31Angela can handle herself.
00:21:32She'll be fine.
00:21:33How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:48I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:53I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:21:58And I can wipe you out with a strand of my hair.
00:22:01Not with me around.
00:22:04I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:08You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:14You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:16We've had enough of your games.
00:22:18Security!
00:22:20Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:22Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:25But don't worry, you got new money here.
00:22:31I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:32Yes, my great.
00:22:35You're all despicable.
00:22:38An insult to your family names.
00:22:43Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:47Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:49Cut off all business ties.
00:22:52And if you don't, I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:00I knew it.
00:23:01You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:02You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:04How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:08You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:13You have nothing, and you will always be nothing.
00:23:17She's a gold digger.
00:23:20Gold digger.
00:23:21Gigolo.
00:23:23Want to try me for a night?
00:23:26Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:27Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:31They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:34Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:35She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:38Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:23:41Security!
00:23:47Security!
00:23:47You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:52And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:55You!
00:23:57Insolent fools.
00:23:59Let me guess, you're that special guest?
00:24:03I don't know.
00:24:04Throw them out!
00:24:06And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:15Back down, Max.
00:24:16Back down, Max.
00:24:20I got this.
00:24:37Whoa!
00:24:37What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:50I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:51No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:55Oh my god, we're so screwed.
00:25:06Angela!
00:25:06Angela! Don't hurt her.
00:25:09You bitch. I've always been sick of you.
00:25:11You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:13How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:15Boss?
00:25:16Did you say her boss?
00:25:18Miss Musk.
00:25:20That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:21That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:24My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:28Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:30Past the American Revolution?
00:25:32Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:33If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:38That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:39She's royalty.
00:25:40And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:44What the hell do you do?
00:25:46Kneel to me.
00:25:47Oh, your majesty.
00:25:51Welcome to the United States.
00:25:54We've always been your loyal subject.
00:25:57Yes, your highness.
00:25:58Is it the queen or princess?
00:26:01It doesn't matter.
00:26:02My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:06Oh yes, we didn't mean to offend.
00:26:08What are you doing, idiot?
00:26:10Let go of the boss, lady, and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:23What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:25She's a badass herself.
00:26:44He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:46You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:51Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:53No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:26:55I worked hard for everything.
00:26:57You worked for everything?
00:27:04Hi, Henry.
00:27:04So, our third year anniversary is coming up, and I thought that maybe we can do something
00:27:10special this year.
00:27:11I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:13I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project, and if I get it, I can take the
00:27:18company public.
00:27:21Oh my god.
00:27:27You were nothing before me.
00:27:30All your achievements, all your glory, that's all mine.
00:27:34including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:38I can take all of that away, just like that.
00:27:42No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:44So that's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:48Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:52Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:54It was Queen Victoria's, and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:04Oh, I gave you back the ring?
00:28:08I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:10No!
00:28:11No, please!
00:28:13No!
00:28:13No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:15I still love you!
00:28:20Oh man, looks like they started the party without us.
00:28:23No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower!
00:28:32Guard these two again.
00:28:34Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:37President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:39After General Eisenhower won World War II, each of his descendants have all gone on to become
00:28:43five-star generals, the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:46Glad you buffoons know your history.
00:28:48Sorry, I'm late, babe.
00:28:49I got lost trying to find Atlanta, then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:28:58And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:29:03He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:05Dr. House?
00:29:06Yes.
00:29:07I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:08Oh no, that's based on real figure.
00:29:10Yep, that's me.
00:29:12Son of James House.
00:29:13Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:29:15I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:20So he's been off crying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 years.
00:29:25And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:33Hey, Alan.
00:29:34Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:37Uh, they're all your fiancΓ©s.
00:29:41What?
00:29:42FiancΓ©s?
00:29:43Plural?
00:29:46FiancΓ©s?
00:29:47Plural?
00:29:49Watch it, nerds.
00:29:51I'm her fiancΓ©e.
00:29:52No, I'm her fiancΓ©e.
00:29:53You can both shut up.
00:29:55I'm her fiancΓ©e.
00:29:56It's you.
00:29:57It's me.
00:29:58Who the hell is he?
00:30:00I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:01How are all three of these men my fiancΓ©s?
00:30:07Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because you
00:30:11decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:14She has three badass fiancΓ©s and she marries his dumbass.
00:30:21Whatever.
00:30:21Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:30:27Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:30:32At your service.
00:30:34Me too.
00:30:36Oh!
00:30:36Oh!
00:30:38Oh!
00:30:40One down, two more to go.
00:30:42She's become queen.
00:30:43Bishop to G4.
00:30:45The most German fest and water in the Nile River.
00:30:58Ruck to A8.
00:31:04Hello.
00:31:07I thought I was king.
00:31:09No, you wish.
00:31:10The king doesn't do anything, so Ellen can be my king.
00:31:14Oh, fine.
00:31:19Bankrupt the forwards right this second.
00:31:26Hey!
00:31:28I've been bankrupt!
00:31:30No!
00:31:31Who is?
00:31:38I've been bankrupt!
00:31:39No!
00:31:40I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:45Well, guess what?
00:31:47Game over.
00:31:48All right, boys.
00:31:49Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:51Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:53I'm right with you.
00:31:56Wait for me!
00:31:57Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:31:59Angela!
00:32:08Angela!
00:32:11You already have three fiancΓ©s?
00:32:14You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:16I...
00:32:17want compensation.
00:32:21You greedy SOB.
00:32:23Who the fuck is that?
00:32:24My ex-husband.
00:32:26Wait.
00:32:26You were married?
00:32:28Yeah.
00:32:28And if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:33More for me.
00:32:34No, no.
00:32:34Of course not.
00:32:35Just...
00:32:36Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:39Don't steal my joke!
00:32:40I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:42All evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:32:46What?
00:32:46Is there something on my face?
00:32:48Uh, yeah.
00:32:49Murderous intent.
00:32:50Let's remarry.
00:32:53Let's remarry.
00:32:55You still don't realize.
00:32:58I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:02I don't know.
00:33:32Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:35Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:39She should be okay now.
00:33:44Hey, you!
00:33:46Watch over here.
00:33:47I'll be right back.
00:33:48You saved me.
00:34:00Fuck.
00:34:02I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:05Fuck.
00:34:06I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:09You've cheated on me.
00:34:10You've hit me.
00:34:12And you've insulted me.
00:34:13And after all that,
00:34:15I never want to see you again.
00:34:17I fucking hate you.
00:34:20Little lady Larkheim.
00:34:22God, what now?
00:34:24Oh, yes.
00:34:26We understand that you are a very busy person,
00:34:29but if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:34:31the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:33How about us three?
00:34:34Yes, unlike that scumbag,
00:34:36we won't turn on your own.
00:34:39Yeah, no.
00:34:40You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:42But...
00:34:43This is your fault, you doofus.
00:34:45We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:34:47No.
00:34:49No.
00:34:50We can't lose our positions
00:34:52with Elon Musk and the Lockhart.
00:34:55I'll help me.
00:34:57I'll get you for this.
00:34:58I never should have listened to you.
00:35:06I'm ruined because of you.
00:35:21So, what's the situation here?
00:35:24I want to marry you.
00:35:28I only met you guys a few hours ago
00:35:41and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:44But what if I told you
00:35:46that we've known each other for much longer
00:35:49than just a few hours?
00:35:51Much longer.
00:35:55Angela, your parents would like to have a video
00:35:58call with all of you.
00:36:03My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:06Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:08The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:11Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:13I heard you finally divorced
00:36:16that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking,
00:36:19three-letter husband of yours.
00:36:21Can't call his name, but...
00:36:23Anyway, congratulations.
00:36:25I've selected three prime young men
00:36:28for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:30Oh, you must pick one of them to marry.
00:36:33Otherwise...
00:36:34Let me do it.
00:36:36You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:39Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:43Mom!
00:36:43All right, honey.
00:36:45That's it.
00:36:47Bye.
00:36:48Bye.
00:36:52So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:56Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:01Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:05That seems greedy.
00:37:14But...
00:37:15I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:19Hey, I may be a doctor,
00:37:22but I can take lives too.
00:37:23I know and have access
00:37:25to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:28Whoa, okay.
00:37:29No murder, please.
00:37:30I was just kidding.
00:37:33We have seven days to win her over.
00:37:36Ooh.
00:37:37It's like the Bachelorette.
00:37:39I know.
00:37:40We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:44Welcome to the show,
00:37:45the three badasses who want me.
00:37:48Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:52What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:55You'll see.
00:37:56Oh, my God.
00:38:06Oh, my God.
00:38:06Cockroaches!
00:38:08All women are afraid of cockroaches,
00:38:10and it is every man's job
00:38:12to save their beloved woman
00:38:14from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:16What will our three candidates do
00:38:18to prove their undying love
00:38:20for our single,
00:38:21but screaming her head off, Eris?
00:38:23Looks like one of our contestants
00:38:32has already called it quits.
00:38:34It's up to the final two.
00:38:36Crunchy.
00:38:46That is sick, Cole.
00:39:02Hey, when you're stranded
00:39:04in the middle of the battlefield,
00:39:05you'll be glad to see
00:39:06one of these around.
00:39:09There are two more left.
00:39:10Want to try one?
00:39:11Oh, my God.
00:39:11No.
00:39:12No.
00:39:14Oh, my God.
00:39:15Save.
00:39:16Save you.
00:39:17Save me.
00:39:19Ah!
00:39:21I'm a German folk doctor.
00:39:23These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:25They're for surgery
00:39:25and saving lives.
00:39:27Thank God you're here.
00:39:45Are you all right, honey?
00:39:48Angela!
00:39:51All right, you won the first challenge,
00:39:53so your reward,
00:39:54you get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:57Just don't cross the line,
00:39:59if you know what I mean.
00:40:00I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:02You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:08Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:40:10it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:12At least my girl can get some.
00:40:14I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:18The cockroaches.
00:40:19The God, the God.
00:40:21There's nothing in this room
00:40:22except you and me, okay?
00:40:23I'm going to kill Ellen
00:40:27when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:31I need a drink.
00:40:41Whoa, easy.
00:40:42You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:44Oh, why do you care?
00:40:46You're trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:48You guys were late.
00:40:53I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:40:57You know,
00:40:58I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:41:03He never even loved me.
00:41:05And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:07Do you really think that you would still be number one
00:41:13on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:19You may not be number one on the Forbes list,
00:41:21but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:24What?
00:41:29You're number one here.
00:41:29You know,
00:41:36we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:39Lies.
00:41:42You all just want something from me.
00:41:49Angela,
00:41:50I know it's hard to trust again,
00:41:53but I assure you,
00:41:56I don't care
00:41:57what family you're from.
00:42:01I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:02I don't need your power,
00:42:04your status,
00:42:06your wealth,
00:42:07your connections.
00:42:10I just need you.
00:42:14I'll prove my love to you within six days.
00:42:16I promise.
00:42:23Screw the contest.
00:42:30I just want love.
00:42:33Angela.
00:42:35You're drunk.
00:42:36I'm an adult.
00:42:37Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:42:40Okay.
00:42:45But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:49Well,
00:42:50they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:42:53This is what you want.
00:43:02This is what you want.
00:43:029-inch penis.
00:43:169-inch penis.
00:43:30Morning to you, too.
00:43:34You sure you were drunk last night?
00:43:35You wouldn't...
00:43:36A girl remembers when she's had a...
00:43:389-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:4010-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:4110-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:4210-inch penis.
00:43:42Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:4410-inch penis.
00:43:44But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:4710-inch penis.
00:43:48Because then they would...
00:43:49Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:5010-inch penis.
00:43:51Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:54I won the first challenge and according to Ellen,
00:43:57my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:44:0010-inch penis.
00:44:01So don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:44:08Are you sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:44:1010-inch penis.
00:44:1110-inch penis.
00:44:12Stop.
00:44:1310-inch penis.
00:44:14Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:15Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:1710-inch penis.
00:44:1810-inch penis.
00:44:19I won't tell.
00:44:20But only on one condition.
00:44:2310-inch penis.
00:44:2410-inch penis.
00:44:25I won't tell.
00:44:26But only on one condition.
00:44:29You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:3110-inch penis.
00:44:32Fine.
00:44:33I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:39You never noticed me.
00:44:42You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:52It's only 7 a.m.
00:44:53She's still sleeping.
00:44:54I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:55Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second.
00:45:00Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:01Oh, or shall I say Ruffman?
00:45:02Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:03What's up, guys?
00:45:04We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:05No cockroaches this time.
00:45:06Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:07That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:08This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:09I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:10The second challenge is...
00:45:11The second challenge is...
00:45:12A date.
00:45:13Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:45:14A date?
00:45:15That's it.
00:45:16What's the catch?
00:45:17No catch.
00:45:18Just who Miss Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:20As simple as that.
00:45:21I know what I want to do.
00:45:22Let's start with me first.
00:45:23Okay.
00:45:24Well, it's up first.
00:45:25Then...
00:45:26Me.
00:45:27Save the best for last.
00:45:28Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:29Then it's decided.
00:45:34Please, don't take my BMW away.
00:45:38Too bad.
00:45:39You pitch for the challenge for the job to getνοΏ½ scale.
00:45:41I don't know.
00:45:42You should be writing a date.
00:45:43I should have asked for something else.
00:45:45A date?
00:45:46That's it.
00:45:47What's the catch?
00:45:48No catch.
00:45:49Just who Miss Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:51As simple as that.
00:45:52I know what I want to do.
00:45:53Let's start with me first.
00:45:54Okay.
00:45:55Well, it's up first.
00:45:56You pissed off the Lockhearts.
00:45:58I have nothing left!
00:46:08It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:46:14It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:46:16Do you know Eisenhower, sir?
00:46:26At ease, Lieutenant!
00:46:28This is my Lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:30Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower!
00:46:32He's so serious.
00:46:34But, hang on.
00:46:36Lieutenant! I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:46:39Baby! I decided to take you here on my first date
00:46:42so that I can introduce you to my guns!
00:46:44Guns? Like murder weapons?
00:46:46Yes! Murder weapons!
00:47:08You like my guns, babe?
00:47:10Pretty rock hard.
00:47:12Yeah!
00:47:13Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:47:15Lieutenant!
00:47:16Come close!
00:47:18Wait!
00:47:19You're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:21He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:22Fighting back will be treason, ma'am!
00:47:24Treason?
00:47:25You guys are way too serious.
00:47:28Look, you Lockhearts bitch! I caught you!
00:47:30If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:47:33Lieutenant!
00:47:34Peace or attack!
00:47:35You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:36I will make you pay!
00:47:37You don't need to keep beating him up. We could just take him to the cops.
00:47:50Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:47:51It's always a bit violent. Some might call it being protective.
00:47:59Poor anger issues. What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:48:05Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:48:06Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:07I don't know if I am.
00:48:08Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:48:10Maybe Shane will be your type.
00:48:11Your date with Shane starts now.
00:48:12Hey. Hey. Cool ride.
00:48:40A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:43Impressive.
00:48:47Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:50Refreshing.
00:48:52I got cool mint, too. Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:48:57What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:00Fruit flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:49:03So, where are you taking me tonight?
00:49:05Let me show you.
00:49:10Dr. Wilson!
00:49:15A VIP of VIPs!
00:49:17Right this way.
00:49:18VIP of VIPs?
00:49:19Ah, just some other guy I saved. I forget who.
00:49:23You saved a lot of people.
00:49:25I'll do what I can.
00:49:27Oh, my gosh.
00:49:29It's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:34Sandra Miller, what are you doing here? I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:39Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:46How low of you.
00:49:48What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:50Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:52I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high-end, you couldn't even afford even if you sold your organs.
00:49:58The auction begins.
00:50:01I'll deal with you later.
00:50:03Here, I'll just be one second.
00:50:07Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:50:13Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:19Cleopatra's armband.
00:50:21Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:50:25For five million dollars.
00:50:28Excuse me.
00:50:29I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:32It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:35I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:38It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:40What are you doing?
00:50:41Just watch.
00:50:43Come on.
00:50:44That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:50Please.
00:50:51I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:53She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:56You work at a flea market?
00:50:58Not this again.
00:50:59Cut the bullshit.
00:51:00That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:02Oh yeah.
00:51:03Here, you want it?
00:51:04For free.
00:51:05Ew.
00:51:06I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:09Well, that's too bad then.
00:51:12Because you are the fraud.
00:51:15What are you talking about?
00:51:17Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:19Throw them out.
00:51:21Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine.
00:51:24But we're professionals.
00:51:26Oh yeah?
00:51:27And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:31Yeah.
00:51:32Mine is the real thing.
00:51:33You two are just upset because you're too poor
00:51:36to afford our luxury items.
00:51:39What was that so?
00:51:40Would a so-called expert fail to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:44Dear Lord.
00:51:47This is real.
00:51:49It's authentic.
00:51:50It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:56Cameron, what have you found?
00:51:58Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me,
00:52:01it's a replica.
00:52:03They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:06So, you are the fraud.
00:52:11You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:14And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:18One fifty.
00:52:19Wow.
00:52:20Not even five dollars.
00:52:22Sandra.
00:52:23You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:27Arrest her!
00:52:28No!
00:52:29Please!
00:52:30Even this is one time!
00:52:31Please!
00:52:32What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:34Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:52:39Bye.
00:52:40Black Calista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:42I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:54Me too.
00:52:55May I have a kiss?
00:53:12Something wrong?
00:53:13Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:21Yep.
00:53:22You never have to worry about stinky breath for me.
00:53:33Ha!
00:53:34You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:38I don't have any money.
00:53:40How did you pay for this hotel, then?
00:53:43I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:53:50Stop!
00:53:55Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:53:58Mr. Buffett.
00:54:03This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:05That's right.
00:54:07Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:10I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:13I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:15No, no.
00:54:16Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:18It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:21Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:24And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:54:30Angela still loves me.
00:54:31She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:32She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:34Yeah.
00:54:35Do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:37We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:40I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:54:43and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:45It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:49Sure.
00:54:50I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:52I just need...
00:54:53Anything.
00:54:54You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:56Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:54:59I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:55:03I'll give you the contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:55:12Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:16Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:18I don't get it, Miss Musk.
00:55:20My contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:22It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:55:26And if you can, then what?
00:55:28He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:29So as long as his grieving have to take it.
00:55:31I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:34I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:45I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:48We should celebrate.
00:55:49You did?
00:55:51You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:53That skank, Angela, is nothing next to you.
00:55:57And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:55:59Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:04What?
00:56:06You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:08Oh, no, no, no, no, he's not.
00:56:10Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:12You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:16It's my decision, Mom.
00:56:18I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:21I'm telling my dad.
00:56:22Fine.
00:56:23Go right ahead.
00:56:24He has enough problems himself.
00:56:25If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:28But if not, you can scram.
00:56:31Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:34Teach him a lesson.
00:56:35Kayleigh, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:38Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:41Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:43We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:45So do as he says.
00:56:47But Dad!
00:56:55I'm sorry.
00:56:57Be your side piece.
00:56:59Very good.
00:57:00I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:01Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:06I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:57:11But that tongue action, though.
00:57:13Tongue is important.
00:57:15In more than just one spot.
00:57:16Arlene, we are in public.
00:57:17That's true.
00:57:19Oh, stomach ache.
00:57:21Again?
00:57:22I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:23Devon should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:27Devon's late.
00:57:29Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:33This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:38It's her.
00:57:39And she's alone.
00:57:40With no one to save her.
00:57:44You whore.
00:57:45You seduced my son so he could get back with you.
00:57:51Let me tell you.
00:57:53I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:58:00Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:58:04Whoever gets rid of her from me gets all this.
00:58:06What?
00:58:07Why do I have to leave?
00:58:08She's the one starting shit.
00:58:10Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:13You're just a stinky hippie peddler and my son just signed a $100 billion contract.
00:58:19He's still got the contract?
00:58:22Hmm.
00:58:23Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:25Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:29Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:31Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:35Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:37You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:45My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:48$1,000 to take her away.
00:58:51$2,000 to drag her away.
00:58:54$5,000 to beat her away.
00:58:57Oh!
00:59:00Oh!
00:59:01Hey!
00:59:02Hey!
00:59:03Ow!
00:59:04Hey!
00:59:05Stop!
00:59:06You okay?
00:59:07Are you hurt?
00:59:12Weekly.
00:59:13You!
00:59:14You!
00:59:15Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:18And now you have two more.
00:59:20What a whore.
00:59:22What a whore.
00:59:23Yeah.
00:59:24And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:26What if she has an STD?
00:59:28Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:32Let's go.
00:59:34We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:36Hang on.
00:59:38What do you want?
00:59:39I'll scream!
00:59:41I don't hit a woman.
00:59:42But I never said I don't kill the woman.
00:59:46But I never said I don't kill the woman.
00:59:49Oh God.
00:59:50He is a murderer.
00:59:52What if he murders me?
00:59:53Not him.
00:59:54Definitely not him.
01:00:00We're not afraid of you.
01:00:02That's enough.
01:00:03This isn't a war zone.
01:00:04You'll be removed from being a five star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:09I was just messing with them.
01:00:11Was he though?
01:00:12We're not afraid of you.
01:00:15Jared!
01:00:16You have to avenge us.
01:00:17Look at this slut.
01:00:18She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:19She's cheating on you.
01:00:20Don't get back with her.
01:00:22Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:00:24I apologize for this scene.
01:00:26I'll toss out the potty crashers immediately so that you can go to his salvation banquet.
01:00:30Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:32Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:34The potty crashers.
01:00:35You have any idea who that is?
01:00:36That's my wife.
01:00:37Please, save that title for the real skank over there.
01:00:38That's right.
01:00:39Know your place.
01:00:40Shut up.
01:00:41She's cheating on you.
01:00:42I know your place.
01:00:43You're just a side piece.
01:00:44If I still want you, that is.
01:00:45Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:46This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:00:47You slap her for this whore?
01:00:48Mom!
01:00:49They really think there's something, huh?
01:00:50Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:00:54She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:00:55I only got the Maple Plaza project because she gave it to me.
01:00:59What?
01:01:00You, a poet.
01:01:01You, a poet.
01:01:02You, a poet.
01:01:03You, a poet.
01:01:04You, a poet.
01:01:05You, a poet.
01:01:06You, a poet.
01:01:07You, a poet.
01:01:08You, a poet.
01:01:09You, a poet.
01:01:10You, a poet.
01:01:11You, a poet.
01:01:12You, a poet.
01:01:13You, a poet.
01:01:14You, a poet.
01:01:15You, a poet.
01:01:16You, a poet.
01:01:17You, a poet.
01:01:18You, a poet.
01:01:19You, you, a poet.
01:01:20You, a poet.
01:01:21You, a poet.
01:01:26I...
01:01:27I'm sorry.
01:01:29No, this can't be.
01:01:34I made you divorce.
01:01:38Go home.
01:01:39You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:47I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:50Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:54I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:57I didn't come here for you.
01:02:00I'm on a date.
01:02:02A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:05She really is a whore.
01:02:07And now, please forgive me.
01:02:09I really do love you.
01:02:12Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:17Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's effort.
01:02:24We're too old for that.
01:02:26They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:28Please, you gave me the contract,
01:02:30so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:34Oh, yes, please, Ms. Lockhart, join us.
01:02:36We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:40What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:42Where were you?
01:02:44Stomach issues.
01:02:46Again?
01:02:47Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:49No.
01:02:52Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:55I would rather die than be with you again.
01:02:59Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:03I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:03:05Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:03:07Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:03:09I'll prove it to you.
01:03:11You want a chance?
01:03:13Angela, no.
01:03:14You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:03:17Don't take him back.
01:03:19I'll give you two choices.
01:03:20I'll give you two choices.
01:03:23I'll give you two choices.
01:03:27Me.
01:03:28Or the contract.
01:03:30You're kidding me.
01:03:31No.
01:03:32I'm not kidding you.
01:03:34If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:38But you don't get the $100 billion contract.
01:03:41The choice is all yours.
01:03:43So that's a tough choice.
01:03:46You think so?
01:03:47He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:51Either way, benefits.
01:03:53Why can't I have both?
01:03:55You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:57Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:04:00I deserved the contract.
01:04:02Did you really?
01:04:07Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:10He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:12Wait, what are you talking about?
01:04:15I, uh, I choose the contract.
01:04:18I knew it.
01:04:19You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:22With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:26Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:29I will get you one day.
01:04:31Let me show you something.
01:04:45You saved me.
01:04:51You saved me.
01:04:53I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:04:58But I promise you, I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:04No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:05:06I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:10Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:21What?
01:05:22Me?
01:05:23Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:05:26No way.
01:05:27You guys, one of you, do something life threatening right now.
01:05:31You're crazy.
01:05:32You're crazy.
01:05:33And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:38What?
01:05:39Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:44Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:47Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:52I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:54Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:56I should have had third party accountants check thoroughly.
01:05:59No, it's not your fault.
01:06:00They're just too slick.
01:06:01You'd like me to punish them for a long time.
01:06:04Oh god, no.
01:06:05Not that again.
01:06:06Please.
01:06:07Max, you know what to do.
01:06:23The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:26All business ties have been severed.
01:06:28We're bankrupt!
01:06:29How did you do that?
01:06:35Who are you?
01:06:36And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:38I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:44I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:48I am...
01:06:50Crypto-Punk number two.
01:06:52What did he say he was?
01:06:53That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:56You're Crypto-Punk number two?
01:06:58Well, I'm Crypto-Punk number one.
01:07:01See?
01:07:02You are number one at something.
01:07:04The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:07Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:09It's all about young money now.
01:07:11Yeah.
01:07:12So...
01:07:13How about our date?
01:07:19I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:07:21I'll spy two.
01:07:22I'll spy two.
01:07:36They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:39I still have the $100 billion project.
01:07:41Yes!
01:07:42I'm rich!
01:07:43They make them all pay soon!
01:07:45What?
01:07:46Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:47The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs upfront.
01:07:51Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:04No!
01:08:05I'm bankrupt!
01:08:06I'm just a little lockhart.
01:08:07You tricked me!
01:08:09Oh, allow me.
01:08:10I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:11I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:08:29Well, cheers.
01:08:30Cheers.
01:08:32Cheers.
01:08:41This looks good.
01:08:47Did you use my spices?
01:08:49I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:08:54You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:09:00I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:07Angela, your future with me, it's going to be different.
01:09:16Come on.
01:09:18Let's dance.
01:09:30Wow.
01:09:31Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:45Angela, I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:49Ashley, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:51Ashley, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:55That's right.
01:09:56I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:59How is all of this possible?
01:10:02I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:05Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:10:07I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:12You're my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:16Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:19Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:30All you do is babble on and on about internet money, Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:10:38Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:41I love it.
01:10:42I'll teach you a lesson here.
01:10:45Hey!
01:10:46Get away from me!
01:10:47Angela!
01:10:50Fights the girl.
01:10:51I like her.
01:11:03How is he?
01:11:04It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:08Oshjaga, salt tea.
01:11:10Can it be cured?
01:11:12I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:13It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:18Household salt.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:29There you go.
01:11:31What time is it?
01:11:34Oh, shoot.
01:11:35I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:38I like her.
01:11:43I like her.
01:11:45We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:48So, that's how I, well, we, all met.
01:11:54I barely remember.
01:11:55Should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:58Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:03You wouldn't have known.
01:12:04I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:06That makes you feel any better.
01:12:08Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:11Angela?
01:12:12Your seven days is almost up.
01:12:14Now that you know, they all loved and fought for you for three years.
01:12:18Who will you pick?
01:12:19How can that be?
01:12:20Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:24How can that be?
01:12:25Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:33Kayleigh, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:36Bankrupt?
01:12:38The Vanderbills have gone bankrupt?
01:12:41Well then, get out of here.
01:12:43You can't do this to me!
01:12:48Jared!
01:12:49Mom, it's me.
01:12:50What happened?
01:12:52Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:56Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:58You should get back with your wife.
01:13:00We're bankrupt.
01:13:01What?
01:13:05Jared Cooper.
01:13:06We're here to repose your belongings.
01:13:12No one is going to save you now.
01:13:15What?
01:13:17No!
01:13:19What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:26Who will you pick?
01:13:30I...
01:13:31I brought you fried chicken?
01:13:37Fried chicken?
01:13:38Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:40Yeah, he's right.
01:13:41I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:43Sucking up last minute!
01:13:45At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:48Hey, stop.
01:13:50Stop.
01:13:52Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:13:54I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:57I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:13:59You know what I mean.
01:14:02Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose.
01:14:05Which one of our three badasses will she marry?
01:14:09Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:13Cole, the general?
01:14:17Or Devon, the CEO?
01:14:22Uh, looks like our bachelorette may need to do a little more time to decide.
01:14:26Oh, the suspense is killing me!
01:14:30But when she does, she will take this eternal rose made from glass imported from Venice and give it to our winner.
01:14:38Angela?
01:14:41Angela?
01:14:42Oh, I, uh, I need more time to think.
01:14:52Uh, while our bachelorette takes a little time to decide, why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:58Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:15:01Let's start with Cole.
01:15:03Cole.
01:15:04There's not much to say.
01:15:09Who wouldn't want a five-star general who has huge biceps, a massive chest, who would protect their wife?
01:15:18Wife.
01:15:21Okay, thank you.
01:15:23Uh, Shane?
01:15:26Muscles?
01:15:27Money?
01:15:29They only get you so far.
01:15:31But you need a well-balanced man like me, that has more than one way to keep a lady happy, if you know what I mean.
01:15:39Okay, I think we do.
01:15:42And Devon?
01:15:44That was quite disgusting.
01:15:49I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:51I know she's going under a lot of stress right now.
01:15:54A lot of choices to make.
01:15:56And she's my queen.
01:15:58I just really hope she's okay.
01:16:00And then one more thing.
01:16:02What kind of a doctor brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:06That's a good point.
01:16:07It's bad for her heart.
01:16:10And then you!
01:16:11What?
01:16:12You know what they say about military men.
01:16:15They beat their wives.
01:16:21Enough!
01:16:24Stand up!
01:16:26Hey, you guys.
01:16:28Whoa, break it up!
01:16:31Hey!
01:16:32Break it up!
01:16:37Cut to commercial!
01:16:39Cut to commercial!
01:16:42This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:17:01Who do I choose?
01:17:03Angela's marrying me!
01:17:04You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:05Oh yeah?
01:17:06I may be a doctor, but like I said, I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:21What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:26Fruit flavored gum!
01:17:28I won't let you take Angela away from me!
01:17:30I'll fight you to the death!
01:17:32Don't forget about me.
01:17:34It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:36Identity.
01:17:39These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:42They do not help.
01:17:44Who made these?
01:17:45I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:17:46And I have the power of teleconnesis!
01:17:48It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:52I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:17:53And I have the power of teleconnesis!
01:17:54I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:17:55And I have the power of teleconnesis!
01:17:59Oh!
01:18:00Oh!
01:18:03It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:08I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:18:11And I have the power of teleconnesis!
01:18:30We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:43This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:47I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:18:51Winter Mint or Cool Mint?
01:18:54Winter Mint.
01:18:58You know?
01:19:00I've always really liked our head.
01:19:01Really?
01:19:03I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:07So I appreciate that.
01:19:09Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:10And you know, Cool.
01:19:12I've already really liked the way you talk.
01:19:15Really?
01:19:16Yeah.
01:19:20What do you got for me?
01:19:21I always really liked the way you chew gum.
01:19:25Yeah?
01:19:26Yeah.
01:19:27It's fresh, right?
01:19:28Yeah.
01:19:30You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:33Hey, I appreciate it.
01:19:34You know, if you need me to look at you, I got you closer.
01:19:36Hey, me too.
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:40Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:42It was Jerry Cooper!
01:19:44That fucker!
01:19:46We have to find her.
01:19:47What the hell?
01:19:48Her ring.
01:19:49Dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:19:52Well, let's go then!
01:19:54My own!
01:19:55My fiance!
01:19:56My fiance!
01:20:02Jared.
01:20:06What am I doing here?
01:20:09You destroyed me.
01:20:12They took everything.
01:20:15What?
01:20:16What?
01:20:18It's not my fault.
01:20:19You're too greedy.
01:20:21Is it greedy?
01:20:22To have sex with my wife?
01:20:24What?
01:20:26I'm not your wife anymore!
01:20:27Oh yeah, I know.
01:20:28You wouldn't take me back now.
01:20:29Not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:31This is illegal!
01:20:33You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:36You won't have me arrested.
01:20:38You will take me back.
01:20:40Ow!
01:20:42My bitch!
01:20:44I'll settle you down a little.
01:20:54You will be begging me to fuck you soon!
01:20:59Hey!
01:21:01Angela!
01:21:02Come in!
01:21:04You're too late!
01:21:07I drugged her!
01:21:08She'll be dead soon unless-
01:21:09Oh yeah?
01:21:10Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:12He really does have everything in his coat.
01:21:15Everything except for-
01:21:16Yeah, except for fruit-
01:21:17Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:18We get it already.
01:21:19Just save my boss!
01:21:21Here you go.
01:21:22You're all good now.
01:21:29Oh, thank God.
01:21:31But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:33What?
01:21:34What are you gonna do to me?
01:21:36Hey, stop!
01:21:37No!
01:21:39Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:47Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:49Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:53So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:58You've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding?
01:22:02The Prince of Bhutan?
01:22:04And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:12Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:17We're down to the wire.
01:22:18Literally, the wedding day.
01:22:20But who's the groom?
01:22:21Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:39But who's the groom?
01:22:40Uh, seems our era still hasn't decided.
01:22:47Any input from the parents?
01:22:50Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:53Oh, this is exciting.
01:22:55Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:58Let me think.
01:22:59I like the doctor.
01:23:04He's cute.
01:23:06But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:11And we can't forget about Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest. Isn't that right, Devon?
01:23:15Angela?
01:23:16You are all three very fine gentlemen. And I'm really grateful for all of your love. But this was a really hard decision. And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:40And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:50I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:53Each of our candidates have saved our main character. I mean bachelorette once.
01:24:03They've all proven their undying love. So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart? Literally.
01:24:10Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:24Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:31And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all? The man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devon Sterling.
01:24:46Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:50As may the best man win.
01:24:53May the best man win.
01:24:56Drum roll, please.
01:25:01I don't understand.
01:25:02Never gonna give you up.
01:25:04Never gonna let you down.
01:25:06Never gonna run around and desert you.
01:25:11Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:19I choose...
01:25:20I need a powerful, strong man, and I really feel like you can protect me.
01:25:36Who could resist those guns?
01:25:37Do they interest you in an NFD, Ellen?
01:25:42Yeah, do you like a full body choke-up?
01:25:44I do.
01:25:58Shane, it's you. I'm...
01:26:01Love-sick for you.
01:26:02You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:03Yeah.
01:26:07It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:10Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:11Think of what we can build together.
01:26:13Like guns, babe?
01:26:26It's always been you.
01:26:27I'll always love you.
01:26:36I'll always love you.
01:26:40Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:43No, no, no.
01:26:44Would you like a full body check-up?
01:26:45Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:26:46I need fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:26:57Thanks for taking care of you.
01:26:58Shall I singing?
01:26:59Do it.
01:27:00Have a good day.
01:27:01Yes, Harry.
01:27:02I'll be back at this taquist video.
01:27:04olduΔu and me I have toοΏ½λ° thee not on hold.
01:27:06It's a bit sort of grinding for me.
01:27:08In my class, I thought my daughter being amazon.
01:27:10Are you gonna do this fast while you walk around my bike?
01:27:12I'm beautiful and lean mom and can talk to pose.
01:27:16I took...
01:27:17How are you doing?
01:27:18How am I with you?
01:27:19I will fill one of my clothes?
01:27:21How am I with you?
01:27:22Going...
01:27:23You ΠΊΠΎΡΠ°Π±...
01:27:25I'm...
Recommended
1:09:00
|
Up next
1:41
1:28
2:41:51
1:52:21
1:32:39
1:21:59
1:33:30
45:43
1:05:44
1:25:17
1:43:07
1:27:40
1:11:16
1:17:52
1:37:50
50:27
2:53:17
2:20:41
1:02:34
1:32:32
Be the first to comment