- 5 tháng trước
Danh mục
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Phim ngắnPhụ đề
00:00:00Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:00:30Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:00:59Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:01:29Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:01:31Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:01:36Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:01:38Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:01:40Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:01:52Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi.
00:01:54Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:02:04Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:02:14Hẹn gặp lại.
00:02:16Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:02:20Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:02:30Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:02:34Eh, anh em lại theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:02:38Anh ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:02:43Nhi bạn r Ov Tudo.
00:02:46Nhi bạn r declare, hẹn gặp lại tôi vô tội ni và biết nhau.
00:02:50Võ luôn hai vô tội tội.
00:02:53Cháin tu x Mike.
00:02:56Adトam ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và või các bạn.
00:02:58Không một chả.
00:03:00What dõi?
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00:03:32Of course, he wants us to cut through our feet
00:03:36You go first
00:03:38Bullshit
00:03:41Yeah, you're probably not man enough
00:03:45I guess your mama was right
00:03:47Never
00:03:51Who's a coward now, mama?
00:03:55Candy from a baby
00:03:56Oh my God
00:04:01I did it! We're saved!
00:04:04What's wrong?
00:04:06Wrong foot
00:04:06Mother
00:04:11No one believed
00:04:26In the early years of the 21st century
00:04:29That our world was being watched
00:04:31The way a man with a microscope
00:04:33Might scrutinize the creatures
00:04:35In a drop of water
00:04:37I like big butts
00:04:39And I cannot lie
00:04:40You other brothers can't deny
00:04:42That when a girl walks in
00:04:43With an itty-bitty waist
00:04:44And a round thing in your face
00:04:45You get sprung
00:04:47Wanna pull up tough
00:04:48Cause you notice that butt was stuck
00:04:49Deep in the jeans she's wearing
00:04:51I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
00:04:53Oh baby
00:04:55Yet across the gulf of space
00:05:00A terrible evil prepared to unleash itself
00:05:04Upon an unsuspecting human race
00:05:08You're up early
00:05:23Come back to bed
00:05:24Come on
00:05:26Come on
00:05:27Please
00:05:30Hello?
00:05:40Hello?
00:05:40Hello?
00:05:41Hello?
00:05:42Tom!
00:05:46I know you missed me
00:05:48Oh I missed you too
00:05:50God you look great
00:05:51I wanted to come by to thank you for setting up that job interview for me
00:05:55This isn't a good time
00:05:57I just need something to keep me busy now that Cody's out of the house
00:05:59He just turned 11
00:06:00I enrolled him in military school last year
00:06:01It's supposed to be a great program
00:06:02Boy, kids, you know, they just grow up so fast
00:06:04So I heard that you were dating again
00:06:06Knowing you, I bet she's brainy
00:06:07Quixotic
00:06:08Quixotic
00:06:09Nights
00:06:10I know you missed me
00:06:11I missed you too
00:06:12God you look great
00:06:13I wanted to come by to thank you for setting up that job interview for me
00:06:14This isn't a good time
00:06:15I just need something to keep me busy now that Cody's out of the house
00:06:16He just turned 11
00:06:17I enrolled him in military school last year
00:06:19It's supposed to be a great program
00:06:20Boy
00:06:21Kids, you know, they just grow up so fast
00:06:23So I heard that you were dating again
00:06:25Knowing you, I bet she's brainy
00:06:27Quixotic
00:06:28Ninety points
00:06:29Woo
00:06:30You know, your work with the elderly really inspired me, Tom
00:06:47I mean, they have so much to teach us
00:06:50And we have so much to teach them
00:06:53You know, ultimately, they really are just like us
00:06:56Only older
00:06:58Anyway, I'm hoping that a new career will help keep my mind off of bad memories
00:07:05I'm sure you have memories too
00:07:07He's the kind of person you never forget
00:07:09Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night wondering where he is
00:07:12And then I remember
00:07:14I know you miss him too, but it's really been hardest on me
00:07:18I'm rattling on, but if you don't vent your emotions
00:07:22They just well up inside you and burst out
00:07:25The harder you try, the harder it all gets
00:07:28Until you just can't shake it off and it looks like you're carrying around this enormous burden
00:07:34Sometimes your problems get so big
00:07:36Sometimes your problems get so big
00:07:37Sometimes your problems get so big
00:07:38Sometimes your problems get so big
00:07:39And then what do you say to yourself?
00:07:41Jesus
00:07:42Yes, you can turn to religion or family or friends, but in the end you're still in agony
00:07:47You're still in agony
00:07:49That's why I want to become a nurse
00:07:51I'm just so in tune with everyone's emotions
00:07:54I guess I've always had a nap from beginning to end
00:07:57Yes!
00:07:58Yes!
00:07:59Oh my God
00:08:00Oh my God
00:08:01Ryan, go home
00:08:27You've been working 16 straight hours
00:08:29Come on, I need the overtime
00:08:31Don't worry, okay?
00:08:34Wide
00:08:39Ray!
00:08:40What are you doing?
00:08:44What's going to pull you?
00:08:49Oh, not the monkeys
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00:11:16Tôi không biết.
00:11:18No, no, he's right, man.
00:11:20You just came fishing with us one weekend.
00:11:22Me and Halil found this great spot last summer.
00:11:24Yeah, great spot.
00:11:34Hey, you cold?
00:11:38A little bit.
00:11:46Hey.
00:11:48Hmm?
00:11:49Look, man.
00:11:50I'm not on a down low or nothing, alright?
00:11:52Oh, that's cool, man.
00:11:54Me neither.
00:11:59Hey, what you doing?
00:12:00Relax, man.
00:12:01I'm just trying to grab some nuts.
00:12:11CJ?
00:12:12What are you doing?
00:12:14I just want to eat some penis.
00:12:16Huh?
00:12:17See?
00:12:18Peanuts.
00:12:28I've been alone with you inside my mind.
00:12:34And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times.
00:12:40I sometimes see you pass outside my door.
00:12:49Hello?
00:12:52Is it me you're looking for?
00:12:55I can see it in your eyes.
00:12:58I can see it in your smile.
00:13:00I can see it in your smile.
00:13:02You're all I ever wanted.
00:13:05And my arms are open wide.
00:13:08Because you know just what to say.
00:13:11And you know just what to do.
00:13:15Ooh, baby.
00:13:17And I want to tell you so much.
00:13:21I love you.
00:13:22Yeah.
00:13:23We caught a lot of fish.
00:13:24Yeah.
00:13:25Black cod.
00:13:26Damn.
00:13:27Tom, I don't want you thinking that hopefully this doesn't affect your opinion.
00:13:32Why would you do that and that's my first time meeting him?
00:13:36Late again, Tom.
00:13:37Hey Marilyn.
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00:14:56Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:15:26Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:15:56Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:16:26Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:16:56Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:06Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:16Hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:18Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:20Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:22Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:24Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:26Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:28Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:30Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:32Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:36Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:45mình sẽ theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:47Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:17:54Vẽ dõi và hẹn gặp lại là lỗi lai gặp Hillary as w g的人.
00:17:58Mình đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại lỗi их với vign who.
00:17:59Vẽ dõi và hẹn gặp lại là lỗi l�이 vời và hẹn gặp lại.
00:18:04Who hẹn gặp lại lỗi?
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00:19:52I'm in the back yard
00:19:54Robbie, c'mon, let's go
00:19:56That's not how you're gonna get through to him
00:19:59Look, Rach, this is guy stuff
00:20:02You gotta trust me
00:20:04Alright Robbie
00:20:06You ready for the Tom Ryan Express?
00:20:10Yeah, maybe one day I can grow up to be just like you
00:20:22Alright, I know I let you kids down
00:20:25But you have no idea how hard it is to be a father
00:20:28But when you start, let me know
00:20:40Are you okay?
00:20:42My eyes, my eyes
00:20:48How much better
00:20:52I'm so sorry
00:20:54That's okay, I've taken balls to the face before
00:20:58Hi, I'm Cindy Campbell, your new neighbor
00:21:01Oh, Tom Ryan
00:21:02You live here all by yourself?
00:21:04Well, I'm taking care of Mrs. Norris
00:21:07But yes, for the first time in my life, I'm on my own
00:21:11I know that feeling
00:21:13Wasn't always that way
00:21:15No
00:21:17You thought you'd found your soulmate
00:21:19Yes
00:21:21And then one day you come home
00:21:23And find your so-called soulmate
00:21:25In bed with a complete stranger
00:21:27Well, not a complete stranger
00:21:29Sammy Sosa
00:21:31Sound familiar?
00:21:33No
00:21:35Not at all
00:21:37But I do know what it's like to be in that much pain
00:21:39And the worst part is that you have to suffer through it
00:21:42Alone?
00:21:43It looks like we have a lot in
00:21:45Common
00:21:47We're already finishing each other's
00:21:49Dinner
00:21:51Sentences
00:21:53Well
00:21:55Maybe all we really need is a friend
00:21:59I'd like that
00:22:01Well, I better get back to Mrs. Norris
00:22:03It's time to put her catheter in
00:22:05And then after that I've got to scrub in between her fat folds
00:22:09And I've got a lancer boiled
00:22:11I've got to open her up and then...
00:22:23It's wonderful
00:22:25I'll see you around?
00:22:39Definitely
00:22:40Okay
00:22:42Okay, Mrs. Norris
00:22:56Time to dig out that duty bubble
00:22:58That duty bubble
00:23:28How to get into that
00:23:30If she is a friend
00:23:31True
00:23:32I've got a stun
00:23:33To be the screwed
00:23:34No
00:23:35No
00:23:36No
00:23:37No
00:23:38No
00:23:39No
00:23:40No
00:23:41No
00:23:42No
00:23:43No
00:23:44No
00:23:45You
00:23:46Can't
00:23:47No
00:23:48No
00:23:49No
00:23:50No
00:23:51No
00:23:52No
00:23:53No
00:23:54No
00:23:55No
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00:26:30Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:27:00Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:27:30Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:27:32Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:27:36Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:27:42Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.
00:27:44Đi ra ngoài, b****!
00:27:46Đi nêu tôi một b****!
00:27:48Anh không có b****!
00:27:49Đi ra ngoài, b****!
00:27:51Đi ra ngoài, b****!
00:27:53Chuyện này, b****.
00:27:55Vì, tôi đã trở thành lần nữa.
00:27:58Vì tôi đã trở thành lần này.
00:28:00Vì, anh chịu thầy, thầy thầy.
00:28:02Của thầy thầy, Cindi Campbell.
00:28:06Của thầy, Cindi.
00:28:08Rói làm làm tế, bóng đường.
00:28:10Đi ra ngoài, nào là nào để lặt mắt của anh?
00:28:15Lãy ở 20 bộ khoả, tôi không giết.
00:28:17Nó chỉ một người bạn giết giữa tôi và B-Belle.
00:28:20Nó là nha tr nhận, she's nữ.
00:28:22Tým tìm tìm tìm.
00:28:29Đi, cúng tôi như tôi thầy.
00:28:31Tôi biết anh're sợ, nhưng tôi tin họ.
00:28:33Anh có thể thành công này.
00:28:34And lúc tôi thầy, anh tìm kiểu mặt của tôi đó.
00:28:35Để đo thử, thì tôi sẽ nói về những đời của mình là.
00:28:37Đúng, tôi sẽ là một chút.
00:28:39Mẹ nhau, thì sẽ tiếp tục và đem theo lòng,
00:28:45Đi nào!
00:28:55Đi nào!
00:28:56Đi nào đó một lần nữa thì tôi sẽ có thể nhận ra.
00:28:58Tí nhỉ nghe tôi?
00:29:01Tôi đã, tôi đã.
00:29:02Đi nào!
00:29:05I can't take it anymore
00:29:12And that's when I lost my cool
00:29:25I made the biggest mistake of my life
00:29:28Cindy, no!
00:29:30What is that?
00:29:33No!
00:29:39No!
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00:31:16I want to try
00:31:17What's happening?
00:31:36I don't know!
00:31:41Why is the sky so dark?
00:31:43Why is the wind moving towards the storm?
00:31:46Why don't any of us have priors?
00:31:50I've never seen clouds like that before!
00:31:53You okay?
00:32:03Yeah
00:32:03Can you believe that thunder?
00:32:05That storm is so fierce!
00:32:08I've never seen anything like it
00:32:09I haven't either!
00:32:10Pleasure being out there!
00:32:13That last one sounded really close!
00:32:15Don't worry!
00:32:16Lightning never strikes in the same place twice!
00:32:18Where's Rage?
00:32:21It's not just as with you!
00:32:27Oh, there you are!
00:32:37Okay, that's it.
00:32:39We're fine.
00:32:40That last bolt of lightning smelled like a giant turd.
00:32:46Yes, the lightning.
00:32:49I'll go look for Robbie.
00:32:55I don't know!
00:32:56Turn in it again!
00:32:57See if it's done!
00:32:57I don't know what's going on!
00:32:58The car's not working!
00:32:59It's just not working!
00:33:01Start!
00:33:02My valves have stopped moving!
00:33:10Yay!
00:33:11How's it going, Marvin?
00:33:12I just had this car working.
00:33:14I was dead.
00:33:15Try changing the solenoid.
00:33:16Good idea.
00:33:18Death to America!
00:33:21Ah, shit!
00:33:22Oh!
00:33:22Oh!
00:33:23Oh!
00:33:24Oh!
00:33:24Oh!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:26Oh!
00:33:26Oh!
00:33:26Oh!
00:33:26Oh!
00:33:27Oh!
00:33:27Oh!
00:33:28Oh!
00:33:28Oh!
00:33:29Oh!
00:33:29Oh!
00:33:30Oh!
00:33:30Oh!
00:33:31Oh!
00:33:31Oh!
00:33:32Oh!
00:33:32Oh!
00:33:33Oh!
00:34:01Oh!
00:34:02Oh!
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00:39:36I'd rather be dead.
00:39:36A girl had a pet duck.
00:39:41She fed and took care of her pet duck.
00:39:44But one day the duck got loose and ran away from the girl.
00:39:48The duck ran down the road and kept running until he found a pond.
00:39:53Mr. President, we've just received word the planet is under attack by aliens.
00:39:59Oh, okay.
00:40:02Sir, they've already wiped out some of our cities.
00:40:05If nothing is done, they'll kill us all.
00:40:08I see.
00:40:08Well, I'll handle that in a minute.
00:40:10But right now I need to find out what's happening with the duck.
00:40:13Sir, with each passing moment, more people will die.
00:40:18The people are going to die regardless.
00:40:20But this duck still has a fighting chance.
00:40:24I've read the story before, Mr. President.
00:40:27The duck dies.
00:40:31My God.
00:40:33That's horrible.
00:40:33Mr. President, the aliens were under attack.
00:40:37You mean right now all of these children's parents could be dead?
00:40:41Kids!
00:40:43Kids, please!
00:40:44It's not as bad as it seems.
00:40:46They didn't die alone.
00:40:47I'm sure they died with all the other people you love.
00:40:49Even Santa Claus?
00:40:53No, of course not.
00:40:54There's no such thing as Santa Claus.
00:41:00Just like the tooth fairy, completely made up.
00:41:03Easter Bunny never existed.
00:41:07The female orgasm.
00:41:10Wait and see what happens when you try to find it.
00:41:12What's wrong?
00:41:14Your parents are all getting divorces?
00:41:17I can give them a little advice if you'd like.
00:41:20Oh, I forgot.
00:41:21They're all dead.
00:41:22Now let's go on to another story.
00:41:24Rumpelphorskin.
00:41:26Tilston, sir.
00:41:27We have to get you to the White House.
00:41:29I guess don't get kids.
00:41:30Remind you to sign that abortion bill.
00:41:32Yes, sir.
00:41:32You may leave through the forward exit doors
00:41:48or the gaping hole in the side of the plane.
00:41:50We realize you have a choice in airlines
00:41:52and we appreciate you flying with southern coast air.
00:41:55Thank you.
00:41:56Hello?
00:42:00Hey!
00:42:01That's mine!
00:42:01I found it!
00:42:05Cindy?
00:42:06Brenda?
00:42:07Oh, my God.
00:42:09It's been so long.
00:42:11Yeah.
00:42:11Too long.
00:42:13I thought you were dead.
00:42:15Oh, I thought you were dead, too.
00:42:17What are you doing here?
00:42:19Were you on this plane?
00:42:20No.
00:42:20I'm trying to get a good story.
00:42:22I'm a reporter now.
00:42:23I work for the local news.
00:42:24Wow, you're really doing well for yourself.
00:42:27I was on assignment.
00:42:28Take a look at this.
00:42:30Here's Detroit.
00:42:31And here's Detroit after the attack.
00:42:38Oh, my God.
00:42:41The attack was devastating.
00:42:43It's over, Cindy.
00:42:44Humanity has lost the war.
00:42:46No.
00:42:46No.
00:42:47There's still hope.
00:42:48I have reason to believe that there's someone here that has the answers.
00:42:51Maybe even a way for us to fight back.
00:42:53Come on.
00:42:55Make a great story.
00:42:58Maybe.
00:42:59But how are we supposed to get there?
00:43:00None of these cars work.
00:43:02Wait.
00:43:03See if this works.
00:43:04You're right, Cindy.
00:43:19That worked pretty well.
00:43:20Look at all the injured.
00:43:34It's so sad.
00:43:36Big ass rat, man.
00:43:39Oh.
00:43:39The sewer took to everything.
00:43:41Man, I'm going to need a hot bath after all of that.
00:43:44What the hell happened here?
00:43:47Oh.
00:43:51Zombies!
00:43:52Damn!
00:43:54Let's go!
00:43:57Don't let them fight you!
00:43:59Good news!
00:44:00They can still feel electricity!
00:44:01Grandma?
00:44:03The zombies have got my grandma!
00:44:05Why, grandma?
00:44:06Why?
00:44:07Why?
00:44:08I helped you!
00:44:09I helped you!
00:44:11The holic?
00:44:12Nobody take care of my grandmama!
00:44:19Good woman raised me from birth.
00:44:29Hey, he's got a car.
00:44:30He's got a car.
00:44:32Give him a car!
00:44:33Take the key!
00:44:34This isn't my car.
00:44:35I would, but I can't.
00:44:36It's not my car.
00:44:37It's not my car.
00:44:39Don't worry, kids.
00:44:40The doors are locked.
00:44:41There's no possible way to kill the robot out of chocolate.
00:44:45But that's just common sense.
00:44:46Go waiter.
00:44:50Kids!
00:44:59Why?
00:45:00Well.
00:45:02Get back!
00:45:04Get back!
00:45:07Give me the gun.
00:45:10I'm taking the car.
00:45:12What do I do about him?
00:45:15I don't want the car.
00:45:16I just need a gun.
00:45:17No way I'm giving up the gun.
00:45:18I want the car.
00:45:19So, you need a gun and you want a car.
00:45:24What do you want?
00:45:25Well, I've never owned a knife.
00:45:28Okay.
00:45:28Let's all switch on three.
00:45:30One, two, three.
00:45:32Is this right?
00:45:36I don't think so.
00:45:40Dad!
00:45:41They're taking the car.
00:45:43They're taking the car.
00:45:43Yes, well, uh, let's keep going.
00:45:48What?
00:45:49That's it.
00:45:50You're giving up.
00:45:51Yeah, that's right.
00:45:52I'm giving up.
00:45:53You want a hero?
00:45:55Go find someone else.
00:45:57Why?
00:46:00Let's go.
00:46:03Now, let me get this straight.
00:46:05The girl hugged the duck
00:46:06and then it dies?
00:46:09Mr. President,
00:46:10the nation is under attack.
00:46:12Get me Homer Lanscritty.
00:46:14You mean Homeland Security.
00:46:17Sir,
00:46:17this woman was an eyewitness
00:46:19to one of the attacks.
00:46:20What can you tell us?
00:46:21They're indestructible.
00:46:23The clothing was burned off
00:46:24everyone's bodies.
00:46:26There were naked people everywhere.
00:46:28Were you naked?
00:46:30No.
00:46:31Thank God.
00:46:31Some good news at last.
00:46:33Get her a souvenir.
00:46:35Don't be on me.
00:46:54Lil' Kim.
00:46:56Lil' Kim got my sandwich.
00:46:59Look out.
00:47:00Russell Crowe's got a phone.
00:47:03R. Kelly,
00:47:03don't pee on me.
00:47:05My lonely lady lumps.
00:47:09Where are we?
00:47:10I'm not sure.
00:47:12I think we're close.
00:47:14It's supposed to be near mile 62.
00:47:17Is something wrong?
00:47:18No, it's just...
00:47:20I met this guy
00:47:22and I wonder if he's safe.
00:47:25Oh, he would love him, Brenda.
00:47:27What's his name?
00:47:28I might have already loved him.
00:47:30Tom Ryan?
00:47:32Yep.
00:47:32Did him.
00:47:34Big fat Chinese guy.
00:47:35No.
00:47:36No.
00:47:38But he is the kind of guy
00:47:39that I'd like to share
00:47:40the rest of my life with.
00:47:41Cindy, look.
00:47:48Cindy, look.
00:47:57What is this place?
00:47:58I don't know.
00:47:59But the boy's father's somewhere in there.
00:48:01We'll have to sneak our way in.
00:48:03But we're not going to blend in
00:48:04dressed like this.
00:48:05Brenda, look.
00:48:06He's a wonderful boy.
00:48:08Yes.
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00:49:56Father?
00:49:58Holly,
00:50:00for what purpose
00:50:02do you interrupt the celebration
00:50:04of the
00:50:06domestic partnership
00:50:08of Mordecai and Haas?
00:50:10The guards caught two outsiders
00:50:12near the cabin.
00:50:20Who are you?
00:50:22I must speak with you.
00:50:24Don't be ridiculous.
00:50:26I have no son.
00:50:28That's not true. I know who you are.
00:50:30I've seen the pictures.
00:50:32I was young. I needed the work.
00:50:34No. In Mrs. Norris' house.
00:50:36I didn't know whose house it was.
00:50:38They drugged me. Never mind that.
00:50:40You're outsiders.
00:50:42The council will decide
00:50:44your fates.
00:50:50The question
00:50:52of the outsiders is now at hand.
00:50:54But first, Martha,
00:50:56have you some tidings?
00:50:58Nathaniel Winston and Alice Smith
00:51:00have informed me of their intentions.
00:51:02He intends to have sex with her
00:51:04as soon as possible.
00:51:06She intends to put up a mild fight
00:51:08and then give in.
00:51:10to have sex with her.
00:51:16Amos, something does trouble you?
00:51:18Mm-hmm.
00:51:20We now have a majority
00:51:22of those who wish to say I am
00:51:24instead of I am.
00:51:26I'm for that.
00:51:28I am against it.
00:51:30Silence!
00:51:32We have more important matters to discuss.
00:51:34I fear that the presence of the outsiders
00:51:38will attract those of whom
00:51:40we do not speak.
00:51:42If you talk about those
00:51:44of whom we do not speak,
00:51:46have you not spoken of that
00:51:48about which we do not talk?
00:51:50Do not speak of that
00:51:52of about which we talk
00:51:54of not speaking.
00:51:56About.
00:51:58Elder Hale,
00:52:08we should welcome the outsiders among us.
00:52:10Jeremiah,
00:52:12ought not your tongue be held?
00:52:14I am sorry, Elder Hale.
00:52:16But sometimes my tongue wiggles
00:52:19beyond my ability to control it.
00:52:23This is a problem with which
00:52:25I have had much experience.
00:52:27Maybe I could help him in a room
00:52:29in which there are no others.
00:52:31Or you can all watch.
00:52:33I don't give a shit.
00:52:41After this, how about you take your thing
00:52:43of which we do not speak
00:52:45and slide it up in my place
00:52:47in which I like it?
00:52:48Silence!
00:52:49The elders will consult.
00:52:57and let me know.
00:52:59Oh, much better.
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00:54:51Oh, yes, of course
00:54:53So, an Indian, a Frenchman, and the Pope are all on a plane
00:55:07The pilot says, hey, are any of you not circumcised?
00:55:11So the Pope lifts up his robe and says, shut up, stupid
00:55:15You don't even speak English
00:55:17The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes
00:55:20But the Japanese man says, I'm not squinting, you crazy Jew
00:55:22You're the one who sold me these cheap glasses
00:55:24What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit?
00:55:28The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good
00:55:36I'm serious now
00:55:38I'm here today at the, uh, UN
00:55:42Because the Earth has been attacked
00:55:44I'm happy to report that we may have found a way to fight back
00:55:47My military advisors at the pentagram have managed to do the impossible
00:55:51They had captured one of the alien heat ray guns
00:55:54As you know, the heat ray destroys the body
00:55:57Leaving behind nothing but clothes
00:55:59Our engineers have managed to reverse the polarity of the weapon
00:56:03In the hopes that it can now be turned against the alien invaders
00:56:07Now, where was it?
00:56:09Ah yes, we expect that the alien shield will be vulnerable to this reconfigured weapon
00:56:21People, please
00:56:23People, please
00:56:25People, please
00:56:27People
00:56:29Now, I know that this new technology may seem frightening
00:56:32But I believe that deep down inside this heat cannon is our best chance
00:56:37Let me give you a demonstration
00:56:39Now, let's see if this thing is bugged in
00:56:45It's not a very pretty sight
00:56:47Everything's loose and flapping around
00:56:49Forget this little t-chain
00:56:51Come on get some liberty
00:57:00And we'll flad it around in here
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01:02:05Để không bỏ lỡ những lần nữa, tôi sẽ không bỏ lỡ những lần nữa.
01:02:12Đừng bỏ lỡ những lần nữa, Cindy.
01:02:14Chúng tôi đã tìm kiếm bệnh của chúng tôi.
01:02:17Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi.
01:02:47Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi.
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01:04:19Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi.
01:04:21Và vào cuộc ơn các bạn đã theo dõi.
01:04:23Phải qua tôi cùng tôi với cô.
01:04:26Để tôi đi đi, ok?
01:04:29Cảm ơn conm ơn conm ơn conm ơn?
01:04:33Tôi không biết.
01:04:35Cảm ơn conm ơn conm ơn conm ơn conm ơn conm ơn.
01:04:38Tôi không biết.
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01:06:31chúng ta sẽ phải đánh chúng ta.
01:06:33Cũng có vui, không bóng, không bóng, không bóng, không bóng.
01:06:36Nếu chúng ta tập trí phố, chúng ta sẽ có đứa lực.
01:06:40Chúng ta sẽ có đứa.
01:06:44Chúng ta sẽ đánh bóng từ mùi và đánh bóng và đánh bóng.
01:06:53Chúng ta sẽ có đứa đứa, không có đứa đứa?
01:07:01Dad!
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01:11:19Tôi không hiểu được
01:11:22Ok, có thể đây sẽ giúp cho bạn
01:11:26Vậy
01:11:27Anh muốn tôi...
01:11:35...một cái gì?
01:11:37Đó là đúng rồi, đúng không?
01:11:40Không
01:11:43Không.
01:11:46Không! Chính chó là ở bên dưới tên, được không?
01:11:55Soltar, đi vào đây. Đây sẽ làm được.
01:12:03Vy cây.
01:12:05Bà bà bà 96.
01:12:13I hope this doesn't come between us
01:12:20Of course not
01:12:29Is it too late for me to try this on?
01:12:31Silence! The game is not yet over
01:12:33Rachel!
01:12:37Daddy!
01:12:38Bobby!
01:12:39Daddy!
01:12:43The only thing keeping your children alive, Tom, is you
01:12:48Well, we had a good run
01:12:51Ha! You weren't expecting that, were you?
01:12:57On the contrary, I was counting on it
01:13:00I call it the Nutcracker
01:13:08Why?
01:13:10Of course
01:13:13Kankawa, sushi, sashimi
01:13:22Oh my gosh, of course
01:13:31Follow the blood
01:13:33Henry was a stepdad
01:13:34You're the little boy's real father
01:13:36Where did you even meet her?
01:13:37It was spring break in Cabo
01:13:40So what? I blended in
01:13:42Seriously, who gives a crap?
01:13:44What's this?
01:13:47Enjoy your purple nurple, Tom
01:13:50Please, your son wouldn't want this
01:13:55His soul walks the earth because of the pain you've got
01:13:57No, I have crossed our galaxy for revenge
01:14:00But it's my fault
01:14:02Let the others go
01:14:03Oh, I don't think so
01:14:04Look upon him as he writhes
01:14:06Hey, Cindy
01:14:07Look, I'm on TV, y'all
01:14:09Check it out
01:14:10I want to give a shout out to all my peeps
01:14:12Have you lost your mind?
01:14:16Ow
01:14:16Oh
01:14:17Hipslaps
01:14:17Break it
01:14:18Saltar, Alec
01:14:20Oh, this is some bullshit
01:14:22I know you hold a grudge against humanity for your son's death
01:14:27But...
01:14:28Oh, wet Willie
01:14:29Killing us won't bring your little boy back
01:14:33No, you will all pay for what you have done
01:14:36Besides, I've already built this thing
01:14:38When the trap closes on you, it will lock the chain in place
01:14:43Your children will be saved
01:14:45But you will suffer a terrible death
01:14:47Can you hang on to the ones you love?
01:14:51You have 60 seconds
01:14:52Don't worry, kids
01:14:56I won't quit on you
01:14:58It's okay to let go, Dad
01:15:00All you ever had to do was show that you loved me
01:15:04And show me what it means to be a man
01:15:07And show me that I could love again
01:15:09We forgive you, Dad
01:15:12The spikes
01:15:25They stopped
01:15:26Kids
01:15:30Daddy
01:15:31Are you sparing our lives?
01:15:39Anyone can hold a grudge
01:15:41But it takes real courage to forgive
01:15:43The invasion is over
01:15:45And?
01:15:48And I guess I'm sorry or something better
01:15:51Like you mean it
01:15:52Okay
01:15:54I'm sorry for killing millions of people
01:15:57Whatever
01:15:57Wait
01:15:59Where's Brenda?
01:16:00What?
01:16:04We're at peace now
01:16:05I was just sealing the deal
01:16:06Alright, let's go for it
01:16:10Bye, Zoltar
01:16:12Don't lose my number
01:16:14Tell me you didn't catch something
01:16:19Nah, it's cool
01:16:20She said she was a virgin
01:16:22We are so fucked
01:16:26Mommy
01:16:43Thank you
01:16:50Hey, look, kids
01:16:53Grandpa
01:16:54No, that's my new husband
01:16:58No, that's my new husband
01:16:58No, that's my new husband
01:16:58No
01:16:58No
01:16:58No
01:16:59No
01:17:00No
01:17:01No
01:17:02No
01:17:03No
01:17:04No
01:17:05No
01:17:05I think it's romantic
01:17:07The way love can find anyone
01:17:09And so love triumphed in the end
01:17:16And the invaders were destroyed
01:17:18For this world
01:17:20Our world
01:17:22Is the world of man
01:17:23We have earned the right to live here
01:17:27And as long as we love
01:17:29Humanity will prevail
01:17:31Each of our enemies has failed in their quest to defeat us
01:17:35Each has been undone by their own nefarious plans
01:17:39Among all worlds
01:17:42Across all galaxies
01:17:43We stand above
01:17:45We stand alone
01:17:47None can threaten our existence
01:17:50None can challenge our spirit
01:17:52And why?
01:17:54Of all the qualities that make us unique
01:17:57It is love
01:17:59It is our greatest strength
01:18:00And because of love
01:18:02Mankind
01:18:03Thank you
01:18:08Hello
01:18:09And welcome to the show
01:18:10We have got a very special man
01:18:12With some very special news
01:18:14That's right
01:18:15He's in the building
01:18:16The man who saved the world
01:18:18Put your hands together
01:18:19Tom Ryan
01:18:20Yes
01:18:23My best friend
01:18:25Wow
01:18:42That's it?
01:18:44Okay
01:18:45So, you're in love
01:18:51I am
01:18:51I'm in love
01:18:52He's lost her
01:19:00The boy's lost her
01:19:01Get her
01:19:02Get her
01:19:03Get her
01:19:04Woo
01:19:08You are adorable when you are in love
01:19:11Thank you
01:19:12Tell us all about her
01:19:13She's great
01:19:14She's really terrific
01:19:15So it's complicated
01:19:16Yeah, you were saying that she's complex, I guess
01:19:19Shut up
01:19:20You're insane
01:19:32Tom Ryan is insane
01:19:33I'm insane
01:19:34Are you happy?
01:19:35You're happy
01:19:35I'm so happy
01:19:36Hey, look
01:19:37Whoa
01:19:38Tom, okay, you've got gold
01:19:44I love Sidney Campbell
01:20:00I can jump on these
01:20:01Whoa
01:20:04Yeah, wowie, wowie, wowie, wowie, wowie, wowie
01:20:11Wowie, wowie, wowie, wowie, wowie
01:20:13Wowie, wowie, wowie, wowie
01:20:14Yeah
01:20:15Whoa
01:20:16Whoa
01:20:17Okay, um, Tom, isn't Sidney here?
01:20:23I know she's here
01:20:24Sidney, I know you're in the building
01:20:26And
01:20:26Sidney!
01:20:27Sidney!
01:20:28Yeah, bring her out right here
01:20:29I love this woman
01:20:31I love this woman
01:20:32I love this woman
01:20:33Oh
01:20:34Oh
01:20:40Ah
01:20:41Ah
01:20:42Ah
01:20:42Ah
01:20:43Oh
01:20:43God
01:20:44Ha
01:20:44Oh
01:20:45Ah
01:20:46Ah
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