- 8 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09Yeah, it's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um...
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah.
04:12You too.
04:13You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:14You don't have to wait.
04:15Thank you, though.
04:16I'm not.
04:17I'm actually...
04:18I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:19Do you have to do it right here?
04:20It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:22I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:23I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:24I'm not.
04:25I'm not.
04:26I'm not.
04:27I'm actually...
04:28I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:29Do you have to do it right here?
04:30It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:35I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:36Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:37Drama Queen 2020?
04:38Oh, man.
04:39What?
04:40This is epic.
04:41This is a mistake.
04:42Look, forgive me.
04:43I'm not.
04:44I'll be here any second.
04:45I'll be here any second.
04:46You don't have to wait.
04:47Thank you, though.
04:48I'm not.
04:49I'm actually...
04:50I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:51Do you have to do it right here?
04:52It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:55Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Hot shot 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:20What?
05:21That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a date, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming,
05:52and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
05:59Fine.
06:00But we follow my plan, no improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:07So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:22Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:30You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:35Where did we go on our first date?
06:38We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well, haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:13I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow, how romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:50Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:57How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:18Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:21Nope.
08:22No more of that.
08:23Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:24What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:25You already look amazing with that.
08:26You can save the theatrics for now.
08:27We're not at the party yet.
08:28No.
08:29I'm serious.
08:30You look beautiful.
08:31You always do.
08:33I guess I'm just nervous.
08:34Don't worry.
08:35I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:36Promise.
08:37You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:38I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:39Okay.
08:40Now I know you're joking.
08:42When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's lock.
08:48And you're ridiculously smart.
08:51You started an awesome deal, and you're already way out of his league.
08:54Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:55When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's lock.
08:59And you're ridiculously smart.
09:01You started an awkward job.
09:02I don't know how to come.
09:03And you're very smart.
09:06You started in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus, it's still a time for mathletes.
09:13I can't believe you know all that. I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend. I had to keep my distance, but I still pay attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coyle.
09:29Hey, careful. I have a reputation doable.
09:32No, I'm serious. I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:36I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:43Claire?
09:46We're here.
10:02People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:10When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:13How do you think feels better?
10:15How do you think someone's gonna want to tell me?
10:16How do you think someone's gonna want to tell me?
10:48I'm going to give this drinks. I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow. It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right? It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town hottie?
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun.
11:18You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my God, there he is.
11:28Oh my God, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me. Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for Girl Code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:40He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:55Time to AF this party up!
11:57Did someone say never have ever?
11:59Let's play.
12:04I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:18Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:21Okay.
12:23Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:28Ooh, cute.
12:31Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:40Ooh, cute.
12:43Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Claire.
13:19Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything.
13:27It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:43And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was going to be by my side the entire night and I thought we were...
13:50Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02it all comes crashing out around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where,
14:09probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13So, yeah, I'm done planning.
14:17Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:33Left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:36Of course.
14:37What?
14:38Just...
14:38Wait, wait, wait.
14:38Where are you going?
14:40Home.
14:41And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:43I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:46You just left me in there.
14:50I know.
14:51I'm sorry.
14:52I wasn't thinking...
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:54Look, you were right.
14:55Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan, this, it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there,
15:09so why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that?
15:20Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay?
15:24You never were.
15:27I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:29All right?
15:31I want...
15:32a real one.
15:34I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:42Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
15:45I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:46Why would you say that real estate?
15:46I mean, I don't want a fake date.
15:48I mean, I don't want a fake date.
15:48Come on, Slapshot 239.
16:11Pick me home.
16:11Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:18Yeah, just make sure these two dots match.
16:22They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay, I'm trusting the process.
16:27I'm just glad we get to go stag together.
16:29You never got a date, right?
16:31No date.
16:32But Damon's really not coming?
16:33I bought him a ticket in case he changes mine, but he won't budge.
16:37Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:44No way.
16:45I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:48And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:52I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:01Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:12Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:14Shocker.
17:16Where did you even hear that anyway?
17:19I don't even remember.
17:20You know, gossip travels.
17:23That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:34Yes, Damon.
17:36My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:43I mean, at least he's hot.
17:45So hot.
17:49It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
18:00it was over before it began.
18:02J-Z-O-E.
18:04J-Z-O-E.
18:05Absolutely not.
18:07Well, more Zoe for me.
18:10Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:12Oh, it's Damon!
18:15Oh, it's Damon!
18:17Or should I say Claremont?
18:19Can I call you back to finish this?
18:21Yeah, you can.
18:22Claremont.
18:23But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:25Okay. Bye!
18:27Hey, beautif-
18:28What's up with your eyes?
18:31It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:36Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes!
18:40I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies.
18:45Your royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone.
18:53I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jake.
18:59Yep, there's Jake, bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun, and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:10What do you mean?
19:11Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:13I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:15Why could that be?
19:17Because yours truly got nominated, and she didn't?
19:21Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:25She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:34And then, you know, for the rest of the school year, because I would have to play in prom,
19:38and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen, and then...
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:45How could she not be?
19:46Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake.
19:52It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say.
19:54You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise, when you get out of high school,
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:04Wow, and you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the dance
20:16together, get a cheese board, and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff
20:22that actually matters.
20:24Oh, look.
20:25Someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean... Claire!
20:28Bye.
20:36I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:40Claire!
20:40Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:45Whoa.
20:46Did Zoe do this to you?
20:48It's a work in progress.
20:49What's up?
20:50Cool.
20:51Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things don't
20:59get awkward tonight.
21:02You mean if we win?
21:04Oh, we're gonna win.
21:05Is Chelsea gonna be upset if... when we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Aw, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:21That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire.
21:23I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but I really am sorry.
21:30I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.
21:36It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39Just, at least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:45Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know.
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:57Jinx!
21:57Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:04Whoa.
22:05Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:08Yeah.
22:09I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah.
22:21You neither.
22:24I hope we win.
22:26So we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about either way, we make it happen.
22:33One dance before the night's over.
22:35Deal.
22:37As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:45Fine.
22:47As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What?
22:50You mean...
22:52This one?
22:53Oh, God.
22:54My eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:55My eyes!
23:01What?
23:01Like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on.
23:04Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see.
23:07By all means.
23:08Oh, uh, sorry.
23:26Chelsea's calling me.
23:27I should get it.
23:29I'll see you later.
23:30Yeah, yeah.
23:31Yeah, yeah.
23:32See ya.
23:32Hello?
23:33Hello?
23:34Hello?
23:35Hello?
23:36Just want to show you what you're missing.
23:40I'm just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:54I'm just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:55I'm sorry.
23:55I'm sorry.
23:55I'm sorry.
23:55I'm sorry.
23:56I'm sorry.
23:56I'm sorry.
23:57You look incredible.
23:58Thanks.
23:59Are you...
24:01Are you going somewhere?
24:02Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:05Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:07I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming, and I don't know.
24:14I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
24:16I...
24:17I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:20God, how do you...
24:21How do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:27If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:34You're coming?!
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43My grandmothers are just cute.
24:45Wait, what?
24:46Nothing.
24:47Nothing.
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well, how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:53Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:55And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
25:00Okay.
25:13This part always gets me.
25:19Yes!
25:21Yes!
25:22Yes, it is.
25:23It's so sad.
25:24Are you watching hockey right now?
25:26What?
25:27No.
25:28No, I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:33Come on, babe.
25:34Tell me some slack.
25:35It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:39Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:41Classics just code for old.
25:43I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:46Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:51Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day,
25:55and then, you know, we got the party later.
25:57Um...
25:59Crap.
26:00Crap.
26:01Crap.
26:03Um...
26:04Nico?
26:05Guitar?
26:06Flames is calling?
26:07Who's that?
26:08I...
26:09I completely forgot.
26:10I have a...
26:11a lesson.
26:12Ow!
26:13Is this why you've gotten some of the guitar lately?
26:18Hey!
26:19My favorite student!
26:20And my favorite student's...
26:22friend?
26:23We were just watching The Long Way, and we lost track of time.
26:27Oh, yes!
26:28I see you took my recommendation.
26:30Such a classic.
26:34Boyfriend.
26:35What?
26:36I'm not her friend.
26:37I'm her boyfriend.
26:38Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who was just leaving.
26:42Bye, Damon!
26:43I mean, I can stay.
26:45I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48No!
26:49I mean...
26:50No!
26:51No!
26:52She's right.
26:53Music is so personal.
26:54So intimate.
26:55Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no.
26:59Almost never three.
27:04Young love.
27:05Such a beautiful thing.
27:06Love?
27:07Who said?
27:08I...
27:09I don't...
27:10We...
27:11I...
27:12We don't...
27:13Um...
27:14Have you ever been in love?
27:16Of course.
27:17Yeah, I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:21I mean, not a...
27:22Not a bunch of times.
27:24The normal amount of times.
27:26There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it.
27:29You know?
27:30There's just...
27:31There's a lot of stress, and then you don't know who should say it first, or when you should
27:35say it, or if...
27:36If they'll ever say it back, and...
27:39Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:50Yeah.
27:51Yeah.
27:58Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe.
28:00What's up?
28:01How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:06That's awesome.
28:07I'm...
28:08I'm also good.
28:09You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow.
28:13So...
28:14Here's a funny little question for you.
28:17Claire's guitar teacher.
28:19Niko...
28:22Yeah.
28:23He's...
28:24He's not even that good looking.
28:25Like, at all.
28:26Oh, no.
28:27He's a solid 9.5, and then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:31I just think it's...
28:32It's weird.
28:33You know, we...
28:34She's doubled her lessons while I've been away, and...
28:37We're watching movies they both like.
28:39Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player
28:43multiple times a week?
28:44I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:46Zoe.
28:47Okay.
28:49I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:55I would know that she really wants to be with me, and not him.
28:59I just don't get it.
29:00I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
29:03I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:05Yeah, Damon, I don't know.
29:08Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:10Who am I gonna talk to, Zoe?
29:12Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:13If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:17Jake?
29:18Yeah.
29:19Is that weird?
29:20I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay.
29:24You're right.
29:25You're good friends, though.
29:26Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:28Don't stress.
29:29I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:32Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:34Focus on that.
29:35Yeah.
29:36Thanks, Elle.
29:37I'll see you tomorrow.
29:38Hey, birthday boy.
29:50Not until tomorrow.
29:51Where's Jake?
29:52He's in the shower.
29:53He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda?
30:04What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does Perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher?
30:13Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right.
30:15She started signing with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:18Yeah, I set them up.
30:20He's amazing.
30:21So, so talented.
30:23So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn,
30:31so...
30:32Yeah, I don't know.
30:33I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great.
30:35So this is your fault.
30:36Thanks a lot.
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual?
30:40That's not...
30:42That's not true.
30:43I listen.
30:44Whatever.
30:45Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:50Every girl should have a few lessons with him.
30:52He teaches you so much.
30:54So much.
30:55I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:59What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:03Music, art, culture, languages.
31:07You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with.
31:12Are you?
31:13But we have conversations, Chelsea.
31:15Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:17Oh yeah, the what, huh?
31:19Hockey?
31:20And then hockey?
31:21Oh, of course, right.
31:22There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love and it's kinda boring.
31:28I love other things.
31:30Like what?
31:31Like Claire.
31:32And I don't want her running off with some guitar playing art culture looking snob, alright?
31:40Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced
31:47us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked and she's actually
31:52kind of interesting.
31:55So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah.
32:00It's actually not terrible advice.
32:04Consider it my birthday gift to you.
32:06Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye.
32:16So, what are you still doing here?
32:18Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:22Bye.
32:23Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:25Thanks, bye.
32:30Hey.
32:31I was just gonna call you.
32:32You're all dressed up.
32:33Damon.
32:34Um, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel.
32:36And, and I, I, this was going to be your birthday surprise, but I just, I didn't think I could wait.
32:57You're the cream in my coffee, you're the apple of my eye.
33:14You make me wanna laugh and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:18Like you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:23I have to say, I-
33:30I love you.
33:32I love you too.
33:35Moment stealer.
33:38I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:40I love you so much, Claire.
33:42And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and-
33:45You talked to Zoe?
33:46Yeah, and, and she told me not to worry.
33:49And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:53Huh.
33:54Love.
33:55And I talked to Chelsea.
33:56Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:57I don't know, she sucks.
33:59But, she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:02I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:05I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch and talk about musicals.
34:10Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:11Just, no subtitles. Deal?
34:13Deal.
34:14Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I-I worked really hard on it.
34:23Yes, please.
34:30Blue-eyed baby as bright as the sky.
34:34Head in the clouds and then we fell so high.
34:37I think that you're the one, so it's one thing I must do.
34:44I have to say.
34:47I love you.
34:48Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
34:52Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
34:54Did you change your pillowcases?
34:58No.
34:59Claire, do not leave them there.
35:01That looks like trash.
35:03Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:07Did you get the champagne?
35:09Yes.
35:10Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that.
35:15Claire, I'm playing with you.
35:18I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward.
35:29Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please do not ever Google that.
35:40Ever.
35:41You're not helping.
35:42So, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon.
35:50There's no going back.
35:51Going back to what?
35:53To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:56No.
35:57Not talking.
35:58Just...
36:00I don't know.
36:01We dated for so long.
36:02It feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time.
36:12She dragged that on long enough.
36:14What's that supposed to be?
36:15Nothing, Claire.
36:16I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:19You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:22Oh, my God.
36:23What if they compare notes?
36:24Oh, God.
36:25That's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is going to be ten times better than Jake.
36:32Think about all that experience.
36:34Why would you say that?
36:36So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:39God, he's been with so many girls.
36:41What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:44God, he thinks a lot.
36:46It's just what I needed.
36:47That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:52Ah!
36:53It's Damon!
36:54Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
36:56Hey.
36:57You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good,
37:10I'll let it slide.
37:11You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good,
37:19I'll let it slide.
37:21Hey, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No.
37:25Just, do you remember Natasha?
37:28Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great.
37:37So you remember.
37:38She's back.
37:39Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:41I know we're supposed to hang tonight.
37:43Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:51Hmm.
37:52Let me think about that.
37:53I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise.
37:55She just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in like a week.
37:59Wait, wait.
38:00She's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:05Actually, uh, do not.
38:06She is the literal girl version of you.
38:07That's exactly why we didn't work.
38:08Trust me.
38:09It's strictly a friend, eh?
38:10I don't know.
38:11I know how you guys were when you were together.
38:12You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:13Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:14I'm being serious.
38:15We both have exes, Claire.
38:16Come on.
38:17Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:18Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:19Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:20Okay.
38:21I don't want to fight.
38:22I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:23I was hoping this could be our special...
38:24She's here.
38:25I gotta go.
38:26Love you.
38:27Beep, beep, beep.
38:28Beep.
38:29Beep.
38:30Beep.
38:31Beep.
38:32Beep.
38:33Beep.
38:34Beep.
38:35Beep.
38:36Beep.
38:37Beep.
38:38Beep.
38:39Beep.
38:40Beep.
38:41Beep.
38:42Beep.
38:43Beep.
38:44Beep.
38:45Beep.
38:46Beep.
38:47Beep.
38:49Beep.
38:50Beep.
38:51Beep.
38:52Beep.
38:53Beep.
38:54Beep.
38:55Beep.
38:56Beep.
38:57Beep.
38:58I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:01Ha ha.
39:02Funny.
39:03You know what else is funny?
39:05Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:07Wow.
39:08Which one?
39:09Please don't say Natasha.
39:11Huh.
39:12Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:15Thailand.
39:16And just for the year, sadly.
39:19Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense and now she's returned to
39:24ruin my perfect night.
39:25Claire, she's an influencer.
39:27Not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay.
39:31Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything.
39:33Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:38Okay.
39:39He's pretty.
39:40He does that.
39:42Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon.
39:44I don't trust her.
39:48Shit.
39:49She just posted a story.
39:50I can't look at it.
39:51She'll know.
39:52She has 80,000 followers.
39:54She's not gonna see your name.
39:56I can't look, Zoe.
39:57You look.
40:00What is it?
40:02Are they kissing?
40:03Are they back together?
40:04Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:08Why would you have me look at that?
40:20This is it.
40:21You're gonna get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:31Again, with the not helping.
40:33This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives.
40:35I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane.
40:39Damon loves you.
40:40He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo?
40:44He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling.
40:50And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
40:56You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
41:01What's going on?
41:02Why are you taking my side on this?
41:04Nothing's wrong with me.
41:06I'm just saying that, like...
41:08Whatever.
41:09I gotta go.
41:10Don't trip.
41:11I'm sure it'll be... fine.
41:12Hi.
41:13Are you calling from Reykjavik?
41:15What?
41:16Nothing.
41:18Where are you?
41:19I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:21Uh, yeah, I was, but you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:25What happened?
41:26Nothing.
41:27Nothing.
41:28What?
41:29Nothing.
41:30Nothing.
41:31Nothing.
41:32Nothing?
41:33Nothing?
41:34Or something nothing?
41:35You were right.
41:36That was a bad idea.
41:37It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:38She hasn't changed at all.
41:39I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her and she tried to kiss me.
41:40Wait.
41:41You kissed?
41:42No.
41:43No.
41:44She tried.
41:45Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
41:46I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
41:47Did you want to kiss her?
41:48No way.
41:49Are you kidding?
41:50No.
41:51Are you kidding?
41:52You're the only person I want to kiss.
41:53Like ever.
41:54Why don't you say that to my face?
41:55Why don't you let me up?
41:56I'm outside.
41:57You're here?
41:58Wait, are you sure?
41:59Oh, I'm sorry.
42:00No, I don't know what I'm sorry.
42:01I don't know.
42:02Right.
42:03You're here.
42:04Wait, are you sure?
42:05I only have a son of my son, I'm here.
42:07No.
42:08You're here.
42:09No.
42:10No.
42:11No.
42:12No.
42:13No.
42:14No.
42:15No.
42:16Yeah, I'm sorry.
42:18No, but I am only a son of my son.
42:19I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please, you know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:25100%.
42:26But do I see some black silk under there?
42:29I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on, let me up.
42:39Keep going.
42:40Now, target zone for the tree punches, right for the front of the face.
42:43Palms are down, elbows are tight.
42:45There we go.
42:46Now, Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning.
42:51Who needs to get some mushy after sex?
42:54That's awesome.
42:55And he took me out for breakfast.
42:58Did I say that already?
42:59Like four times.
43:01Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:06How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Two uppercuts, let's go.
43:12Uppercuts, target zone, where is it?
43:13Underneath the chin, elbow tight to the body.
43:15Now.
43:17Wow.
43:18That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad, I'm just tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it.
43:28I mean, no, Claire.
43:29I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating Damon.
43:34I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came.
43:40And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon.
43:44And now Damon's calling me to talk about you and I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean, well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh my god, what?
44:14Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:19I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything.
44:29This is so exciting.
44:30Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important?
44:34I want to know who stole my bestie's heart.
44:37Come on.
44:38She didn't steal anything.
44:39It just kind of happened.
44:42I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:48Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:52I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
45:01I don't know.
45:02I don't know what we are.
45:04It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:09I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:22What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:26Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:29Hold on.
45:31You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:37Are you kidding me?
45:38We hate Chelsea!
45:39You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:45We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair.
45:50Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry, what?
45:53She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:59Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan
46:09to date the she-devil herself.
46:12I would have talked you out of it.
46:14You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once,
46:27you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31I'm over it.
46:42Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh.
46:45How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:54I'm sorry, babe.
46:55I know it couldn't happen easy, but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you
46:59to tell her?
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:03I don't know.
47:03It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally
47:12respect that.
47:12I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:21Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited
47:34for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:36I don't need her.
47:39I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:41As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much
47:45history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about?
47:48Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious.
47:52You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years
47:55being the needy one.
47:57Babe, I'm serious.
47:58You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years
48:02being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired.
48:06They're done.
48:08I'm over it.
48:09I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason
48:13with Claire, you just bottled it up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up
48:17for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this and me and Damon
48:23did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you
48:29were feeling or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond.
48:35Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:43Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:46Bad habit.
48:49Alright, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back.
48:54Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea?
49:00Did I open a curse box?
49:01Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:04What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:15Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this?
49:19Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:21No.
49:23No.
49:24Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming buds.
49:29Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah.
49:32Another way how she's ruined our lives.
49:34Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing.
49:42I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:45I think it's cool.
49:46Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did.
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no.
50:03I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone.
50:12She's the chillest person I know.
50:14I'm sorry to say it, babe.
50:15You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though.
50:23And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:26Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:30Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay.
50:35I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this.
50:41I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course.
50:50You got this.
50:55Pick up.
50:56Please pick up.
51:00Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was going to say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me,
51:09but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know.
51:15I-I-I freaked.
51:17I'm just-I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:27Well, you're going to be hearing it a lot more.
51:30Seriously, Claire.
51:31I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:33I think she might be my person.
51:39If you're happy.
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:56You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:09I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should have told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were going to freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with,
52:21but if you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait.
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:41You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just your special night?
52:51See you next time.
52:56In the next episode, I'll wait.
53:03Bye.
53:11Bye.
53:14Bye.
53:15Bye.
53:15Bye.
53:15Bye.
53:16Bye.
53:17Bye.
53:18Bye.
53:18Bye.
53:19Bye.
53:20Bye.
53:20Bye.
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