00:00Who the fuck decided it was a good idea to bomb Iran?
00:03Why can't you fuckers just keep your dick in your own pants?
00:07I'm playing hide-and-seek with these fuckers.
00:09Ain't no way I'm getting drafted.
00:11Even if they catch me, I got a backup plan.
00:15You can't draft me. I've got AIDS.
00:17If you don't let go, I'm gonna smear my AIDS-infested saliva all over you.
00:21Plan B didn't work. They got me fucked up.
00:24Apparently, there's no sexy Latinas in Iran either.
00:27How could this get any worse?
00:29I escaped those bastards.
00:30This desert is drier than my grandma's cooch.
00:33I need to cross the border ASAP before they catch me.
00:37I've been walking for hours. All I can see is sand.
00:39I might have to drink my own piss at this point.
00:42It's not looking good.
00:44We're safe, bitches!
00:47Bob put a tracking chip in my ass last week and found me!
00:50Don't ask too many questions, monkey.
00:53What a day.
00:54Me and Bob found this rooftop bar,
00:55and they even put on a firework display just for us.
00:59I don't think those are fireworks, bro.
01:00I don't think those are fireworks, bro.
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