- 8 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09Yeah, it's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um...
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah.
04:12You too.
04:13You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:14You don't have to wait.
04:15Thank you, though.
04:16I'm not.
04:17I'm actually...
04:18I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:19Do you have to do it right here?
04:20It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:22I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:23I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:24I'm not.
04:25I'm not.
04:26I'm not.
04:27I'm actually...
04:28I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:29Do you have to do it right here?
04:30It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:35I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:36Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:37Drama Queen 2020?
04:38Oh, man.
04:39What?
04:40This is epic.
04:41This is a mistake.
04:42Look, forgive me.
04:43I'm not.
04:44I'll be here any second.
04:45I'll be here any second.
04:46You don't have to wait.
04:47Thank you, though.
04:48I'm not.
04:49I'm actually...
04:50I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:51Do you have to do it right here?
04:52It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:55Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Hot shot 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:20What?
05:21That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a date, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming,
05:52and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
05:59Fine.
06:00But we follow my plan, no improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:07So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:22Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:30You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:35Where did we go on our first date?
06:38We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well, haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:13I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow, how romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:50Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:57How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:18Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:21Nope.
08:22No more of that.
08:23Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:24What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:25You already look amazing with that.
08:26You can save the theatrics for now.
08:27We're not at the party yet.
08:28No.
08:29I'm serious.
08:30You look beautiful.
08:31You always do.
08:33I guess I'm just nervous.
08:34Don't worry.
08:35I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:36Promise.
08:37You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:38You're already way out of his league.
08:39Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:40When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
08:59And you're ridiculously smart.
09:02You started all the time.
09:03You started all the time.
09:05Ridiculously smart starting all the school plays got every solo and chorus. It's still a time for math leads
09:13I can't believe you know all that. I always thought you just ignored me. You're my little brother's girlfriend. I had to keep my distance, but
09:21Still pay attention you know when you drop the whole too cool for school act. You're actually a pretty decent guy
09:28Damon Coral
09:29Hey careful, I have a reputation doable. No, I'm serious
09:33I think you might actually make a great boyfriend. I
09:37Mean when you finally decided try with someone of course
09:43Claire
09:46We're here
10:03People are looking. Why are they looking? They're looking because you're with me when you're with me actually get to have some fun
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30:16signed with Nico. Wait, you know Nico? Yeah, I set them up. He's amazing. So, so talented. So,
30:24so talented. What do you mean you set them up? Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house
30:30that she's been wanting to learn, so yeah, I don't know. I suggested Nico. Oh, great. So this is your
30:35fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I? Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:40Well, that's not, that's not true. I listened. Whatever. Anyway, out of the kindness of my
30:49generous heart, I suggested Nico. Every girl should have a few lessons with him. He teaches you so much.
30:56I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand. What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand? Music, art, culture, languages. You're not like afraid she's
31:09going to ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with. Are you? But we have
31:14conversations, Chelsea. Is Jake out of the shower yet? Oh yeah, about what, huh? Hockey? And then
31:20hockey? Oh, of course, right. There's always hockey. Seriously though, Damon, hockey is like your one
31:26true love and it's kind of boring. I love other things. Like what? Like Claire. And I don't want
31:33to run it off with some guitar playing art culture looking snob. All right. Look, I'm not saying I'm
31:44an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than
31:49either of us would have liked. And she's actually kind of interesting. So maybe you should at least
31:57pretend to care about some of the things she likes. Yeah. It's actually not terrible advice.
32:04Consider it my birthday gift to you. Gee, thanks a lot. So what are you still doing here? Go before
32:12she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow. Bye. So what are you still doing here?
32:19Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow. Bye. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Whatever.
32:25Thanks. Bye.
32:39Hey, I was just going to call you. You're all dressed up. Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel
32:48and, and, and I, I, this was going to be a birthday surprise, but I just, I didn't think I could wait.
33:00Okay.
33:01You're the cream in my coffee. You're the apple of my eye. You make me want to laugh when I think I'm gonna cry.
33:19Like, you're the one. So there's one thing I must do.
33:26I have to say.
33:30I love you.
33:31I love you too.
33:37Mom and steal her.
33:39I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it. I love you so much, Claire. And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and-
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah. And, and she told me not to worry. And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:53Huh. Well.
33:55And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know. She sucks. But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible. I, I want to make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I want to watch whatever you want to watch and talk about musicals. Even the old ones. I don't care. Just, no subtitles. Deal?
34:14Deal.
34:15Okay.
34:17Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song? I, I worked really hard on it.
34:23Yes, please.
34:28Blue-eyed baby, as bright as the sky. Hit it in the cloud but never felt so high.
34:37We think that you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:44I have to say.
34:47I love you.
34:48Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
34:52Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
34:54Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No.
35:00Claire, do not leave them there.
35:01That looks like trash.
35:04Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:08Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes.
35:11Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that?
35:16Claire, I'm playing with you.
35:18I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward.
35:30Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please do not ever Google that.
35:40Ever.
35:41You're not helping.
35:42So, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean, this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon, there's no going back.
35:52Going back to what?
35:53To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:57No.
35:57Not talking.
35:58Just...
36:00I don't know.
36:01We dated for so long.
36:02It feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time.
36:12She dragged that on long enough.
36:14What's that supposed to be?
36:15Nothing, Claire.
36:17I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:20You're good.
36:20Do you think they'll talk about it?
36:23Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh god, that's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is going to be ten times better than Jake.
36:32Think about all that experience.
36:34Why would you say that?
36:36So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:40He's been with so many girls.
36:42What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, thanks a lot.
36:47It's just what I needed.
36:48That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:52Well, it's Damon.
36:54Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
36:56Bye.
36:56You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good,
37:10I'll let it slide.
37:12You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good,
37:19I'll let it slide.
37:21Hey, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:29Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great.
37:37So you remember.
37:39She's back.
37:40Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight.
37:43Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:52Hmm, let me think about that.
37:54I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise.
37:56She just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in, like, a week.
38:00Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not.
38:11She is the literal girl version of you.
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work.
38:15Trust me, it's strictly a friend name.
38:17I don't know.
38:17I know how you guys were when you were together.
38:19You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:24I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire.
38:27Come on.
38:28Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:30Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:34Okay, I don't want to fight.
38:35I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special...
38:42She's here.
38:42I gotta go.
38:43Love you.
38:57I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:01Ha ha.
39:02Funny.
39:03You know what else is funny?
39:05Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:07Wow.
39:08Which one?
39:09Please don't say Natasha.
39:11Oh.
39:14Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:16Thailand.
39:17And just for the year, sadly.
39:20Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense,
39:23and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:26Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay, Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything.
39:33Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:38Okay.
39:39He's pretty.
39:40He does that.
39:42Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon.
39:45I don't trust her.
39:48Shit.
39:49She just posted a story.
39:51I can't look at it.
39:52She'll know.
39:52She has 80,000 followers.
39:54She's not going to see your name.
39:56I can't look, Zoe.
39:57You look.
40:00What is it?
40:02Are they kissing?
40:04Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:08Why would you have me look at that?
40:16Ugh!
40:17This is it.
40:21You're going to get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:29Again, with the not helping.
40:33This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives.
40:35I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane.
40:39Damon loves you.
40:40He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo?
40:44He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling.
40:50And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at
40:54him for not being a mind reader.
40:55You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a
40:59mind reader.
41:01What's going on?
41:02Why are you taking my side on this?
41:05Nothing's wrong with me.
41:06I'm just saying that, like, whatever.
41:09I gotta go.
41:10Don't trip.
41:11I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:26Hi.
41:27Are you calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:30Nothing.
41:31Where are you?
41:32I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:34Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can
41:38take.
41:38What happened?
41:40Nothing.
41:40What?
41:41Nothing.
41:42Nothing, nothing?
41:43Or something, nothing?
41:44You were right.
41:46That was a bad idea.
41:47It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:50She hasn't changed at all.
41:51I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:56Wait.
41:57You kissed?
41:58No, no, no, she tried.
42:00Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
42:01I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:03Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way.
42:06Are you kidding?
42:07You're the only person I want to kiss.
42:08Like, ever.
42:09Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up?
42:14I'm outside.
42:16You're here?
42:18Wait, are you sure?
42:19I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please.
42:22You know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:24100%.
42:26But do I see some black silk under there?
42:29I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on, let me up.
42:39Keep going.
42:40Now, target zone for the tree punches, right for the front of the face.
42:43Palms are down, elbows are tight.
42:45There we go.
42:47Damon's texted me, I love you, three times since this morning.
42:51Who knew it'd get so mushy after sex?
42:53That's so important.
42:54That's awesome.
42:55And he took me out for breakfast.
42:58Did I say that already?
42:59Like four times.
43:01Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:06How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Damon was talking about how...
43:12Uppercuts, target zone, where is it?
43:13Underneath the chin, elbow tight to the body.
43:16Now.
43:17Wow.
43:18That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:21Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad, I'm just...
43:26Tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it.
43:28I mean...
43:29No, Claire.
43:29I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came.
43:40And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon.
43:44And now Damon's calling me to talk about you, and I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend,
44:03but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean...
44:06Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh, my God.
44:14What?
44:14Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:19I've been seeing someone, and it's getting pretty serious.
44:22But it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything.
44:29This is so exciting.
44:30Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important?
44:34I want to know who stole my bestie's heart.
44:37Come on.
44:38She didn't steal anything.
44:39It just kind of happened.
44:42I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:48Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:52I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect, and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
45:01I don't know.
45:02I don't know what we are.
45:04It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:09I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:22What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:26Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:29Hold on.
45:31You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:37Are you kidding me?
45:38We hate Chelsea!
45:39You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:45We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair.
45:50Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry, what?
45:53She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:59Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself.
46:12I would have talked you out of it.
46:14You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once,
46:26you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:32I'm over it.
46:42Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh. How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:54I'm sorry, babe.
46:55I know it couldn't happen easy, but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her.
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:03I don't know.
47:03It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that.
47:13I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:21Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:36I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:41As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about?
47:48Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious.
47:52You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
47:57Babe, I'm serious.
47:58You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired.
48:06They're done.
48:08I'm over it.
48:09I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with Claire, you just bottled it up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you were feeling?
48:30Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond.
48:35Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:43Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:46Bad habit.
48:48All right, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back.
48:54Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea?
49:00Did I open a curse box?
49:01Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:04What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this?
49:19Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:21No.
49:23Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group, and I'm sick of it.
49:27I thought you guys were becoming buds.
49:29Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah.
49:32Another way how she's ruined our lives.
49:35Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing.
49:42I just...
49:42I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:45I think it's cool.
49:46Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me, then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did.
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no.
50:03I just...
50:03I think it's...
50:04Maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone.
50:12She's the chillest person I know.
50:14I'm sorry to say it, babe.
50:15You know I'm on your side, but...
50:17She's this upset.
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though.
50:23And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:26Not that I've ever seen it, but...
50:27I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:30Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay.
50:35I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this.
50:41I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a...
50:46Teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course.
50:50You got this.
50:55Pick up.
50:56Please pick up.
51:00Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me,
51:09but yours works, too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know.
51:15I freaked.
51:17I'm just...
51:17I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:27Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:30Seriously, Claire.
51:31I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:33I think she might be my person.
51:38If you're happy.
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:52And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:09I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should have told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait.
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:41You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just your special night?
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