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00:00When you're a kid, you get asked all the time what you want to be when you grow up.
00:12I didn't think I was going to get to grow up.
00:22This is a drawing that I made in counseling with my therapist,
00:28the one that was helping me, preparing to die.
00:34I don't think a seven-year-old little girl should be thinking about anything like that at all.
00:39I was always just so afraid of death and always just waiting for it to come around the corner.
00:45I was terrified.
00:47I was a child, and somebody was taking advantage of how innocent I was,
00:55ripping my innocence away from me and using it against me.
01:00And I think that that is just the worst and most disgusting form of manipulation.
01:07And I, yeah, it just brings me a lot of anger, honestly.
01:11I'm sorry.
01:24All right.
01:27This is Teresa.
01:30She looks scary to me.
01:34She looks evil, like there's no emotion.
01:40This woman had no emotion for me, her child.
01:46I ultimately started to blame myself.
01:49I did something wrong because the one person in my life who was supposed to love me didn't.
01:56If my own mother couldn't love me, then who could?
02:01That love is supposed to be so genuine and so pure.
02:04I did something wrong.
02:34I was born in August of 1995, and I grew up in a very small town called Urbana, Ohio.
02:57In my family, I had five half-sisters and one half-brother.
03:02I was the youngest of all of us.
03:05My dad, he was an incredible father.
03:09Him and I did everything together.
03:11He was my best friend, but he was a very busy man with his job, and I knew that he was essentially
03:18the one supporting our family.
03:21Teresa Milbrae is my biological mother.
03:24I wholeheartedly believe that my dad loved his wife and trusted her like anyone would
03:29in that kind of a relationship, and with him working, she was my primary caregiver.
03:33And so I think that he really, truly just trusted her like he should have.
03:38I think I really started to want to call her Teresa because I don't ever feel like she
03:47was a mother to me.
03:49She was the reason I lost everything in my life and was basically abandoned, and I don't
03:55feel like she deserves that title.
03:57I always kind of explained her as like Jekyll and Hyde.
04:08It's like she, in a public setting, she was the mother that we wanted.
04:27She was loving and gave us hugs and held our hands.
04:31But then like behind closed doors, it was you stayed away from her.
04:36I remember like falling off of my bike one time, and she was the only one that was home, and
04:43I ran inside with a scraped knee, and I remember hurting really bad.
04:47And she, you know, was sitting on the couch, and she kind of looked at me and told me like,
04:54you know where the first aid kit is.
04:56You know where things are.
04:57I don't know why you're crying.
04:59Doesn't even look that bad.
05:00She didn't care.
05:05It was always just very emotional detachment is what it felt like.
05:09She didn't play with me.
05:10She didn't want to have any type of interaction whatsoever with me at all.
05:16She really didn't do baths, showers, putting us to bed, things like that.
05:21We were kind of always just fending for ourselves.
05:25You need to grow up.
05:26I do remember feeling like there was something wrong with me, that she couldn't give me that
05:34kind of love.
05:35You know, I would see my other friends with their moms, and their moms were so involved
05:39and so like interactive with them and just very visibly loving with like hugs and holding
05:45hands, and that was never the mother that I saw.
05:47And the only times I really felt like she did was if other people were around, like visibly
05:55watching, and that was kind of tough because it was a back and forth of, you know, do you
06:01do this because you love me now, or do you actually feel this way?
06:06It was very like hot and cold, and it was hard to get a grip on like which version of her
06:10was the real version.
06:11What I remember of her most is the walking on eggshells, not wanting to do anything wrong,
06:30leaving anything out of place, just honestly doing anything that you felt like could set
06:35her off.
06:35She would be normal, and then she would throw huge fits over things.
06:42Who did this?
06:44Huh?
06:45There was one time that we walked into the kitchen, and she had a spoon that was left
06:50in a bowl of milk in the sink, and she brought it in and was like whipping it around.
06:54Is this acceptable to you?
06:57Is it?
06:59It was like gross and had milk on it, and she's like, this is disgusting.
07:02Do you think I have the time to clean this up?
07:04No, this is your job.
07:05You clean it up.
07:07And was going about how everybody was lazy, and she's not the only person that lives here,
07:13and quit acting like this, and made a huge deal out of it, and it was just out of nowhere.
07:19And it just became so frequent that it was almost normal.
07:23Like, you just became accustomed to Teresa's tantrums.
07:27And then she broke a coffee mug because it was left on the counter.
07:30How's this?
07:33She just dropped it on the floor.
07:35Quite honestly, me nor my siblings seemed to want to be around her.
07:38Make yourselves useful.
07:40I'm done.
07:46A lot of the time we would spend in our rooms because we were afraid to mess anything up
07:50or to have any form of interaction with her because we knew that if we did anything at
07:55all, she'd find a way to, you know, belittle us or yell at us, and it was just not something
08:02we wanted to do or deal with.
08:13So in this photo, I was, I want to say I was like four or five, and it was Halloween.
08:24This photo makes me kind of emotional a little bit.
08:27It's looking at this, like, the happy Hannah, the little Hannah that I often fight for, just
08:36was so carefree and so happy.
08:40Talking about the little version of me is like, that's a tough one for me.
08:47I feel like it's just like, I want to hug her.
08:50I wish I could just squeeze her and tell her that, although things were going to be really,
08:57really hard, you get to be that again, and you'll get to be able to be the happy Hannah
09:03again.
09:06You can tell I was just like a happy-go-lucky little girl, and she had absolutely no idea
09:13what was coming, and it was coming so soon.
09:20I just remember Teresa almost, like, switching to a different person, and it was just more
09:34emotionally there for me.
09:38Like, if I was crying, it wasn't figure it out on your own.
09:40It was like the coddling and the hugs and the, oh, it's okay, I'll take care of you kind
09:46of thing.
09:47How's that?
09:47She started to help with, like, bath time, which was never a thing, whereas this now
09:53was like, she was very much in there, helping me brush my teeth, and also, like, putting
09:58me to bed and tucking me in and laying there with me, and that was just something that she's
10:04never done before.
10:05Time for bed.
10:08And I remember thinking, like, what changed?
10:11And I remember also thinking it had to have been me.
10:14Like, maybe I'm different, and maybe now I'm more lovable, and so that's why she's being
10:19this way.
10:22But I was happy with it.
10:24It was what I always wanted.
10:28Now I get to have this love and attention from her, and I'm making her happy, and I'd never
10:33seen her happy before, and if it did, it felt good.
10:41Looking back and knowing that, like, it was all a lie and thinking about the person who's
10:46supposed to love me unconditionally was beginning to essentially ruin or destroy her child's
10:54life, it makes me physically ill, and for her to be able to finish what she was doing and
11:04get a good night's sleep like that, it's disgusting to me.
11:08Like, it truly is.
11:14Teresa was very much the person that cared about her self-image, and I think that she wanted
11:20people to look at her, and she liked that kind of attention.
11:24She used to take me to department stores to get professional pictures.
11:29She was, like, showing me off to everyone, and that wasn't something she did before.
11:34She would be like, oh, isn't my daughter beautiful?
11:37I remember a woman had complimented how beautiful I was and was talking to me about my dress and
11:42the things I was wearing, and that was when Teresa, like, interjected and said, oh, yeah,
11:48she's beautiful.
11:49She's my million-dollar baby.
11:50She always referred to me as, like, her million-dollar baby.
11:56She's going to make me so much money someday, I know it.
12:01I had never really liked to be the center of attention.
12:05I feel like I was being forced into doing it, but I did it to make her happy.
12:09Doing what makes her happy is what's going to get the love I want, so I'll do whatever it
12:17takes to make sure that she loves me.
12:21It makes me sick thinking that she saw me as a price tag and not as her baby.
12:25Looking back, I really feel like that was the start of her plan.
12:32I think that that was the start of her realizing, like, oh, I could make a lot of money off of
12:38this child, and, like, I'm going to see how far I can absolutely take this.
12:42There was a lot of interactions that I witnessed with her and my siblings.
12:56She used to call my older sister, Cinderella, and would tell her that she was only good for
13:03cleaning and she wasn't good for anything else.
13:05She used to call her, like, ding-dong and stupid, very, like, generic, mean, just nasty
13:11names, and would laugh and think it was funny when it was visibly hurting her.
13:16I remember her always saying very belittling things about her to kind of almost create this
13:22wedge that she wanted between the two of us.
13:28And my older sister decided that she had enough, and she was going to go live with her biological
13:33father.
13:34My sister was upstairs in her bedroom packing her things.
13:38Her and I were very close, and I didn't want her to leave, and I was begging her not to
13:43go and, like, crying and telling her to stay.
13:46Don't leave me alone with her.
13:50That really set Teresa off.
13:53I have to.
13:54She didn't like it.
13:55She felt like she was losing some sort of control with her.
13:58You want to leave?
14:00You want to act like an adult?
14:01Make decisions for yourself?
14:04And Teresa came in the room and was taking my sister's things and was throwing them in
14:09a trash bag and telling her that she wasn't to interact with me anymore.
14:16You get nothing!
14:17And she was ripping up pictures of, like, my sister and I together, and she looked at
14:23my sister and said to her, I need you to look at Hannah and tell her that you don't love
14:27her anymore.
14:27And she wouldn't do it.
14:34And so Teresa started just screaming at the top of her lungs at her, and I remember I got
14:39very scared.
14:40I remember running to my dad, who had just gotten home about in the middle of all of this
14:47happening, and I'd ran straight to him as soon as I heard his voice.
14:51What's wrong?
14:51I was standing behind his legs because I was scared.
14:55My mom's yelling, and she picked that mirror up and threw it at me and my dad.
15:00There was this loud crash, and I remember looking back and seeing it stuck in the wall.
15:09Glass everywhere, just shattered everywhere, and thinking, like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe
15:17she just threw that at the both of us.
15:19What the hell's the matter with you?
15:22My dad was helping my sister get all of her things, and he was consoling her.
15:27I remember sitting in the corner, terrified, like, prying and shaking and not knowing, like,
15:33how long is this going to last?
15:36When he was around, it was a sense of relief.
15:38You only had a certain amount of time until he was gone, and anticipating him leaving
15:43was, like, one of the one things I hated the most, is knowing he was going to leave,
15:48and I was going to have to be with her again for several days without him was extremely
15:54nerve-wracking because he seemed to be the peacekeeper.
16:08I didn't understand anything that the doctor and Teresa were talking about, and we left,
16:22and I remember Teresa saying on the phone that something is wrong with Hannah, and you need
16:28to come to the house immediately.
16:31Once we got home, there were several people there.
16:35Teresa's mother was there, and her husband, my grandfather, was there.
16:40My dad was there, and I sat and just kind of waited to find out what was happening, and she tells
16:48all of us that they did a CAT scan, and they found a small spot on the base of my spine,
16:54and the tip, like, the size of the tip of a pen, and they believed that it was leukemia.
17:02Our little girl is sick.
17:08And everybody just got very emotional or very quiet.
17:12I remember my dad crying immediately and also trying to hold it in,
17:18and I was very confused.
17:22I have never heard of that word before, so I had no idea what that meant.
17:27I was terrifying.
17:30My dad kind of stood up.
17:32He came over, and he's like, why don't you and I take a break from all of this?
17:36Let's take a walk.
17:39I remember asking him, like, Dad, what does leukemia mean, and why is everybody so sad?
17:44And he said, leukemia is like cancer.
17:51And I understood cancer because I had known I had lost somebody in our family from that,
17:55and I knew what that meant, and I was like, but I don't feel sick.
17:59Like, I feel as though I just have a stuffy nose.
18:03How is that cancer?
18:05And he was like, well, it's not for you to understand.
18:08We'll figure this out together, and it'll be okay.
18:14And I remember sitting there, things just flying through my mind
18:17and wondering, like, what does this mean?
18:20And am I going to die?
18:22Like, I know that that's what happens if you have this, and am I going to die?
18:26Like, I know that's what happens if you have this, and am I going to die?
18:46Gosh.
18:46so this is a picture of me during my illness and my dad and theresa this is at my birthday party
19:02i'm gonna say it was my sixth birthday party and
19:09yeah this is heavy i feel like when i look at this i see so much sadness in that little girl's face
19:22she looks scared it doesn't feel like a genuine smile it looks like i was doing it because i had
19:32to hannah and this looks like the drained of life version but like looking at teresa she looks so
19:42happy and it makes me very sick and this giant band-aid on my chest that is just so sad i wish
19:56i could just go back and fight for little hannah she needed somebody to fight for her and
20:03i feel like i just i wish i could i wish i could protect her and
20:07just let her know that it was gonna be okay that this wasn't gonna be the end although i thought it
20:13was it wasn't
20:15teresa had worked in the medical field
20:31i don't know like the full degree of her health care background but i do remember her being a home
20:38health nurse teresa was explaining to me at this appointment you're gonna have chemo treatments
20:47and when you have chemo treatments you're gonna feel kind of nauseous and tired having headaches
20:54and then also explaining to me that after so many amount of chemo treatments that i would lose my hair
21:02and it was just so abrupt you know we just went from i have a cold to now you have leukemia and it just
21:13didn't seem real and i was devastated
21:17teresa was essentially saying i know that you're afraid of the doctor so when we go to the doctor i'm
21:28going to give you medicine to help you get through these appointments and i didn't think anything of
21:34it and then she'd given me this little blue pill and i remember it tasting absolutely horrible
21:41and she was like okay you know that's going to make you sleepy but one you won't remember any of the
21:50doctor's appointment you it'll all be okay i'll i'll take care of you and it would be maybe like five
21:57or ten minutes after i would take the medicine i would get extremely tired and i couldn't fight it
22:01and i would fall asleep
22:02and time would go by and i'd wake up very groggy
22:12hey oh like you're awake um we went to the doctor and this is what happened
22:18i accepted all of that she was saying i knew in my heart i thought that she was doing what was right
22:26and she was going to take care of me right she's my mother she's going to take care of me
22:29so i didn't ask any more questions about the medication
22:32it was really early in the morning i was getting ready to go to school and i needed to brush my teeth
22:48and i had turned the light on to the bathroom and i looked in the mirror and i had basically no hair
22:56and i remember screaming
23:01and teresa came running into the bathroom and was like what's wrong and i was like oh my hair is gone
23:10and what happened where did it go and she had said that oh i told you this was going to happen
23:17henna we talked about this
23:20i remember kind of like freezing and feeling like this isn't real
23:28like that i knew that i was going to lose it but it was like
23:32i had figured i would lose it in chunks and i would have been more prepared and like i would have
23:39known it was happening and for me to just i went to bed with a head full of hair and i wake up
23:43and now it's just in patches was such a like shock that i don't i just couldn't understand
23:50and it was devastating
23:54i just was begging her like i can't i don't want to go to school you can't make me do this anymore
24:02can i stay home please don't make me go there please don't make me go through this anymore
24:07and i don't want people to make fun of me and tell me i look like a little boy i don't want that
24:12so i went to school and i cried the whole way there
24:18and when we got there i walked into my classroom and everybody was staring at me
24:24and i remember in that moment thinking i just i never want to have to come back here again
24:31and i knew i was going to have to relive that feeling every single day
24:35no matter what i said no matter how i reacted no matter how heartbroken devastated emotional i was
24:43it didn't matter all that mattered was what she said and what teresa said went
24:47so i think at that point honestly i stopped fighting back
24:53one thing that honestly kind of bothered me was that we were going to so many benefits
25:09one of the girls i was friends with her dad was a firefighter and they had like a spaghetti dinner
25:16for us
25:17and people came and ate and all the money went towards my family
25:22and then i remember going into public places there was always a coffee can
25:28with like this awful picture of me that people could donate to
25:33it was like i couldn't escape no matter where i was it was like it was always right there like haunting me
25:43and also as hard as a kid that we're getting all this money but like nothing is changing
25:49and nothing is happening i'm just that people are donating all this money and i'm just staying sick
25:55and that was very confusing for me
26:02i started seeing a therapist for death counseling when it was probably about six or so months into the illness
26:22and teresa started saying that the end was becoming more like becoming near that i was getting worse
26:29and that death probably wasn't far away
26:35and i remember her asking me to draw how it felt the day that i found out about the tumor or the cancer
26:47and what i remember how i was feeling
26:54to see that i was like such sadness like there's so much sadness in this and that i like at such a young age
27:02was so intuitive and remembering how hard and emotional that day was but also so confusing
27:11it's tough
27:12ma'am ma'am ma'am she's sick she hit her head
27:18my dad had gone straight to the nurses station was like you need to help her
27:19she has leukemia she's very ill and this is where she goes for treatments we're not from here
27:25ma'am ma'am she's sick she hit her head my dad had gone straight to the nurse's station was like
27:38you need to help her she has leukemia she's very ill and this is where she goes for treatments
27:44we're not from here just kind of very much so running through everything so quickly so hysterically
27:50then they left me in this little room that i was in and they were getting ready to prep me for
27:55stitches and i was crying and i wanted him in there i was yelling at the nurses saying like i don't
28:04don't touch me until i have my dad outside of the room you could visibly tell that theresa and my dad
28:10were arguing and i could hear vaguely what they were saying and i remember my dad saying to theresa
28:18they can't find any record of hannah what's going on
28:25in that moment i don't think i was thinking anything i just remember looking at him and
28:35seeing how terrified he was and it scared me she was angry her hands were going her face was getting
28:43red and that was when theresa said i know that she sees certain specialists they can be kind of hard to
28:51locate hannah was in an emergency situation she was kind of going around the actual answer
28:58and i remember she was very anxious
29:04kind of felt like she was just grasping at whatever she could i think this was the moment
29:17that my dad truly realized something was really wrong and he was about to be in a very bad situation
29:25what have you done hannah but wasn't sure what he was gonna do or how to handle it or what to say or
29:32what to believe i think at that moment he realized something wasn't right
29:40it seemed to be like everything after that moment was just like chaos it was very soon after that everybody
29:49knew the truth
30:11my grandmother had come to pick me up from school
30:14when we had gotten home my dad was anxiously pacing the floor and chain smoking and i had never
30:23seen him act like that
30:27hey sweetie
30:29he said i have to tell you two things and he was like and some of them are going to be hard but some
30:36of them are good things and i was like okay and he was like so what do you want me to tell you first
30:41and i was like the the good things and he said well you're you're not sick
30:54and i remember being so confused and relieved and happy and sad at the same time because it was so
31:00confusing i didn't what do you mean you're gonna be okay but that makes me have to tell you the sad
31:07thing and that is that your mom has done something really bad and she has lied and she had taken money
31:16from people and people are really angry and upset with her because she told a lie about you and that
31:25you are you are you are sick when you're not and she made it all up
31:33and as a child wrapping my mind around that was impossible
31:43and i was so happy that i wasn't going to die like i couldn't imagine like i was so happy that
31:50it wasn't going to end i wasn't going to die but why did my mom do this to me why did she lie about
31:58this and for what
32:05trying to understand the reasoning behind it was just something at that age i could not wrap my brain
32:09around and i just remember really focusing on being happy and like i'm not gonna die i can go back
32:17to my normal life everything's gonna be fine now i was just i'm not dying and that's all i cared about
32:27i wasn't sick anymore everything was gonna go back to normal and then all of a sudden i'm just
32:32ripped away from my family again
32:37the social worker that ended up taking me away from my father that night
32:40uh she essentially took me to um a foster family
32:48i was being taken away from them and there was nothing i could do to stop it from happening
32:54it was so scary and i honestly i think i remember it being in that home and thinking waiting for my dad that
33:02you know dying seemed almost like it would have been the better option at that point because it was
33:11like i knew what heaven was beautiful this was not this was like my worst nightmare it was like i was living
33:19my biggest fear
33:29after a few weeks of being at my foster home my foster family let me know that both of my parents had been arrested
33:40they didn't say that they were charged with anything they just told me that they were both arrested and
33:45put in jail as far as i know my dad's attorney was wanting me to stand trial and kind of defend my
33:54father but my father decided that i had been through enough that i was too young to stand such a grand
34:02trial i don't think there was anybody really in the community who believed that either one of them
34:08was innocent i think they were grouped together very quickly as far as the crimes that were committed i
34:14feel like teresa is definitely the one who would be fully responsible and i think that he is innocent
34:20in this situation i feel like teresa knew that my father wasn't involved and i think she had the
34:29opportunity to speak up and say that but i think that she didn't want to essentially go down for this by
34:38herself it's so easy to believe on an outside looking in perspective there's no way he has no idea and i
34:48think she knew that and i think all along that was her plan i think she knew all along that essentially
34:55she wouldn't have to go down by herself and it wouldn't all be on her i think that it made it easier for
35:01her to do those things
35:12all right i'm gonna need a second on this i'm sorry
35:28all right i'm gonna put this over i can't look at it i'm sorry i will
35:33looking at that makes me so sad
35:47to think that
35:54how scared he had to have been
35:55and how sad he had to have been he didn't do anything wrong and essentially
36:07he knew that he was gonna have to spend the next five years of his life
36:15not watching his daughter grow up after just finding out that she wasn't gonna die
36:20he was essentially losing her anyways
36:28it breaks my heart for him
36:32i know that was a really hard time for him
36:36and i often you know sometimes i feel
36:41a sense of guilt honestly to think that
36:45he went essentially went to prison because he was trying to protect me
36:48and that's the right thing to do you know i he did right by me and he was just trying to protect me
36:55but sometimes you know i feel guilty i wish he wouldn't have done that i wish he would have
37:03let me have the opportunity to try to save him too
37:18if i had to seriously be honest about her end goal of all of it and i really think what she was
37:24trying to get out of it is i really truly believe that theresa was out to kill me
37:31i think i couldn't tell you why i wish i did i wish i knew why it's a question that will forever haunt me
37:39i do think she was willing to sacrifice
37:41my life for anything that was going to make hers better i think that she
37:48wanted everything for herself everything was always about her and i think that me as a sacrifice
37:56didn't seem like a sacrifice to her it seemed like the only way to get what she needed
38:02yeah it's heartbreaking it is the purest form of being evil like she truly just was an evil person
38:16i don't think it feels fair at all i think that if i'm going to be completely honest um
38:32i think she deserved a much longer sentence i truly feel like i serve a life sentence
38:38to what she did to me i fight that battle every day i fought that battle for a long time and i
38:47probably will for the rest of my life and for her to only spend six years i just feel like
38:56it's just not it's not fair it doesn't seem right and
39:01it's kind of scary to think that like she just gets to live a life like nothing ever happened
39:05it's really unfair my father and i are extremely close he is my very best friend
39:21i could not have gotten to the point that i am today without his love his support his undying love
39:28for me he has never wavered in who he is and to this day he is the most amazing father and even better
39:38he's the most amazing grandfather to my babies i now have a beautiful family a loving husband and
39:46finding him was something i never thought would happen and i think my ultimate fear was could i be a
39:55mother what was it like to be a mother what was it like to be a mother i never had one i didn't know
40:01what that looked like and then i had both of my beautiful children and never for a second
40:13did i question what it would be like to be a mother
40:16it was so instinctual and i have never felt such love
40:26but i know in my heart that god gave me the children i have to prove to me that i am capable
40:33of so much love and i am a fantastic mother and a wonderful wife i have just such a beautiful life i am
40:42so blessed to have the things that i do and i never thought that i would have this life you know
40:50little me never thought that we would even make it past six and now i am creating a life so much
41:00further past that and it's just it's amazing
41:13it's very clear that he has the personality traits to become a serial killer
41:18man of the county 911 the man above us just threw the woman over the balcony she's lying on brand
41:23now she's very bloody it's heartbreaking no kid is supposed to watch that happening
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