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Here We Go Season 3 Episode 7
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00:00That's before 1995.
00:10Everything smells weird in this house.
00:13No, I'm sorry, but we're not stopping.
00:15It's a medical emergency, Rachel.
00:17No, no, we're already late.
00:18If you want to go to the shops on the way,
00:20then spend less time in the toilet before we leave.
00:22It's not going to the shops.
00:24I need Imodium.
00:25I'm not well.
00:26It doesn't smell well, to be fair.
00:28Thank you, Mum.
00:30Hang on, what does that mean?
00:31Well, you've got that poorly dog smell.
00:34It's not funny, Sam.
00:36I'm febrile.
00:37You're what?
00:38I have a fever.
00:39I'm freezing.
00:40Hence the hot pot.
00:41Please, can we stop on the high street, Rachel?
00:43No.
00:44Oh, I actually want to pick up some food as well.
00:46No, there's no time.
00:47Amy, how far is this church?
00:49Still can't find it.
00:50What's it called again, Granny?
00:51St Ival's.
00:52It's the big one near the Esso garage.
00:54Okay.
00:55St Ival's?
00:56St Ival makes cream, Mum.
00:58Oh, does he?
00:59Well, the company does, yeah.
01:00Oh.
01:01Surely St Ival isn't a real saint.
01:02They'd be staggered if he is.
01:03Well, who am I thinking about, then?
01:05St Michael, maybe.
01:06No, that's Marks and Fence.
01:07Which Esso garage?
01:08St Nigel.
01:09Oh, my God.
01:10As if there's a St Nigel.
01:11Which Esso garage, Sue?
01:12The one with the pumps and the big lorry sometimes.
01:15Ridiculous.
01:16Ridiculous description, Mum.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19I think I've found a St Michael's Bionetto garage.
01:21Fantastic.
01:22It's just left up here, Mum.
01:23Oh, can we go via a chemist, Amy?
01:25No.
01:26The service starts in 15 minutes.
01:28Oh, it is near.
01:29It's really near the high street, actually.
01:30Huh?
01:31No.
01:32Oh, just nip in.
01:33Or do you want me to get diarrhoea during the christening?
01:35Well, you'd have to go in the font.
01:37Exactly.
01:38No, I wouldn't go in the font.
01:39That's ridiculous.
01:40I'd just do it in my trousers.
01:41Not in the toilets?
01:42Oh, the toilets, yeah.
01:43But even so, it would be very disruptive at the service.
01:47Please.
01:48Doesn't she look slamming?
01:50Just extraordinary, actually.
01:51Yeah.
01:52You'd never know she'd just had a baby, would you, Paul?
01:54I know.
01:55Huh?
01:56Wow.
01:57Oh, yeah, four.
01:58Four?
01:59Four?
02:00What?
02:01I mean, wow.
02:02Wow.
02:03I meant to say wow.
02:04I wasn't concentrating.
02:05You look amazing.
02:06Right.
02:07And is this all from yoga?
02:08Oh, no.
02:09Yoga's wank.
02:10This is all down to Katie, my pete.
02:11What?
02:12Unusual surname.
02:13My friend Katie is a personal trainer.
02:14Oh, okay.
02:15Wow.
02:16Dean's cock.
02:17Wow.
02:18Yeah.
02:19You should totally try her, right?
02:20Yeah.
02:21I swear, Dan.
02:22She has worked wonders on my pelvic floor, ain't she, babe?
02:26Just a bit.
02:27She could strangle a cat down there.
02:28I can.
02:29Wow.
02:30Well done.
02:32Meow.
02:33Yeah, no, maybe I should, you know.
02:34I mean, I have been feeling a bit stiff recently.
02:35Yeah, you're just getting old, love.
02:37Right.
02:38You know, that happens if...
02:39Oh, oh, hell!
02:40Oh!
02:41What happened?
02:42I've split the neck on my hotbot trying to pull the stopper out.
02:45Oh, no.
02:46Dang.
02:47Dang?
02:48Yeah, dang.
02:49I should have to replace it now.
02:50I love this hotbot.
02:51Please, don't call it a hotbot.
02:53No.
02:54Maybe it's a sign.
02:55Sign of what?
02:56To get an electric blanket.
02:57Okay.
02:58No, no, no way, Jose.
02:59No way.
03:00Why?
03:01Because that's what elderly people do, like complain in restaurants and like Michael Ball and...
03:05You love Michael Ball.
03:06Mmm, we'll be picking our cemetery plots next.
03:08Yeah.
03:09Well, no, we'll just go in the same one.
03:10Save a bit of money.
03:11No, I don't want to think about it.
03:12You see, this is why I'm stiff.
03:13Yeah.
03:14Because you and your hotbot force me to...
03:17Oh, God.
03:18Live...
03:19I can't get up.
03:20I'll help you.
03:21Live like...
03:22Oh, thank you.
03:23Live like a pentonym.
03:24You okay?
03:25Yeah.
03:26Can you?
03:27I've got a roll of duct tape in me bag, look.
03:28Why have you got duct tape, Sue?
03:29Duct tape.
03:30Oh, yeah.
03:31Well, in case I need to, you know...
03:33Kidnap someone?
03:34Splinters, fix a brolly, just general taping.
03:37And I've got a torch pen.
03:39Is duct tape water protein?
03:40Duct tape.
03:41Did I?
03:42Of course it is.
03:43That's why it's called duct tape.
03:45It's not called duct tape.
03:47It's not...
03:48There it is.
03:49It's called duct tape.
03:50You have to pronounce both of the T's.
03:52Duct tape is a brand name.
03:54As fascinating as this is, I've got to go and meet Katie.
03:58So, we're looking after Atlas again, are we?
04:00Yeah.
04:01I am, yeah.
04:02I want to get as much of him as I can before my big trip.
04:06Oh, well, actually, Paolo, on the Atlas front, we did want to ask...
04:09Yeah?
04:10Would you be interested in being one of the Godfathers at the christening?
04:13How?
04:14Really?
04:15Yeah.
04:16Yeah, well, right, she's got my bar.
04:17Yeah.
04:18Oh...
04:19Oh, my Godfathers!
04:21I've never been asked me a Godfather before!
04:23Yeah.
04:24Well, this is wondrous news.
04:25Wondrous!
04:26You all right?
04:27I promise I won't let you down, guys.
04:28Okay.
04:29Or you, Guy.
04:30That is a Godfather guarantee.
04:31Yeah.
04:32I just have to work on my Godfather impression.
04:34Oh!
04:35Dubell!
04:36I forgot you're going to wake up.
04:38I'll go.
04:39Yeah.
04:40Weren't you got any keys?
04:42Why haven't you got any friends?
04:43Okay.
04:44Nice to see you too.
04:45Hi, Graham.
04:46It's Jean.
04:47Not Graham.
04:48Okay.
04:49Don't take the piss out of my pizza!
04:51You dirty rat!
04:52What are you doing?
04:53Huh?
04:54Oh, nothing.
04:55Hi, Graham.
04:56Hi.
04:57It's Jean now.
04:58Hello.
04:59Hi.
05:00Yes, sorry.
05:01I was just doing a Marlon Brando impression from the Godfather.
05:02It doesn't matter.
05:03Don't take the piss out of my pizza.
05:04That's not in the film.
05:05Well, that's sort of it, isn't it?
05:07You know?
05:08No.
05:09Sorry, Graham, is that...
05:10That's not a guitar in there, is there?
05:11No.
05:12Well, Detective Jessup has done it again.
05:15Gee, yeah, why?
05:16Well, just because the baby's asleep over there.
05:18You can't shred your accent here, mate.
05:19Well, we want to rehearse.
05:21My keyboard's upstairs.
05:22Okay.
05:23Why else would I come over?
05:24Er, to use the Wi-Fi, to get your washing done,
05:27to have a bath.
05:28Er, you find quite a few reasons, Amy.
05:30Yeah, why can't you just get your keyboard and take it back to your flat?
05:33Because it's heavy.
05:35Oh.
05:36And Maya's...
05:37Well, we're trying to give each other space while she packs up.
05:39Aww.
05:40Yeah, so, anyway, we really need to practise.
05:43Aww, you're that bad, are you?
05:45We...thanks.
05:46We've got Bedford Battle of the Bands next month.
05:48Whoa!
05:49B-B-O-T-B!
05:50No worries, that's still going.
05:51Yeah, and we're playing the Lamb and Flag next week.
05:53Oh, I know.
05:54I can't wait.
05:56You're coming.
05:57Yeah, I am a good-look charm, Gee.
06:00I saw the Beatles when they were still tiny.
06:02Mm-hm.
06:03And look how well they did.
06:05Very, very well.
06:06Did you?
06:07I didn't know that.
06:08Yeah, in 1961, I was only 15.
06:11I gave George Harrison a cigarette.
06:14Wow!
06:15One of those.
06:16George Harrison actually died of lung cancer.
06:18So...
06:19Mm.
06:20Yeah, but that wasn't Sue's fault, was it?
06:22No.
06:23No, you didn't give him his first cigarette, did you, Sue?
06:28Or did you?
06:29I don't know.
06:30I mean, he didn't have any of his own or a lighter, so I suppose it's possible.
06:36Uh-uh.
06:37Oh, my God.
06:38It killed George.
06:39Oh, God.
06:40I mean, I'm sure that's not strictly true.
06:44Yeah.
06:45Graham, Gee, you know, legally speaking...
06:46Can't prove anything.
06:47No.
06:48Yeah.
06:49He must have smoked before that.
06:50Yeah.
06:51Yeah.
06:52That's all anyone did in those days.
06:53Yeah.
06:54Oh, babe, babe.
06:55It's on Sunday the 14th.
06:56Right.
06:57So we can go to BBOTB after the christening due at the George.
06:59Make a night of it.
07:00B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b.
07:02What was that?
07:03What was that?
07:04Would that look like that, or...?
07:05Yeah.
07:06He might, actually.
07:07Would he?
07:08Okay.
07:09He really likes white noise.
07:10Yeah.
07:11Oh, yeah, well, that's not actually what we play.
07:13I've got BBOTB.
07:14I haven't been there for about 15 years.
07:16I cannot wait to go back.
07:17Just when you think you've left the Mafia for good...
07:19Oh, do it again.
07:20...they ask you back to the Mafia.
07:22I mean, that's not even close, Dad.
07:24Well, it's sort of a general gist, isn't it?
07:26Hang on, Paul.
07:27Huh?
07:28You have been christened, right?
07:29Because to be a godfather, you have to have been christened.
07:32Er...
07:33I don't know.
07:34You had me christened, didn't you, Mum?
07:35Er, hang on.
07:36Let me think.
07:37Er, we definitely had you circumcised.
07:39Oh, my God.
07:40Oh, well, I'm aware of that.
07:42Thank you for telling Terry and G that!
07:43I don't care.
07:44No, but christened...
07:45Er, I think...
07:46No.
07:47Oh.
07:48Really?
07:49Why?
07:50Because I don't believe in God.
07:52Hmm.
07:53You do believe in ghosts, though, don't you see?
07:55Well, that's different.
07:56Ghosts and angels I've got no problem with.
07:58Hmm.
07:59So, you believe in angels, but you don't believe in God?
08:02Well, who are they working for, then?
08:04Well, no one, they're freelance.
08:06I'm sorry, Paul, but...
08:08Oh!
08:09Father Damien is well-stripped about this stuff, so...
08:12I mean, can't you just tell Father Damien that I'm christened anyway?
08:16Well, no, because Sue says you haven't been, so...
08:19Yeah, but she can...
08:21You know...
08:22What?
08:23...lie.
08:24No.
08:25No, I'm not doing that.
08:26No.
08:27Well, why not?
08:28No-one will know.
08:29God will.
08:30Yeah.
08:31You don't believe in God!
08:32Exactly!
08:33So I'm already in his bad books, aren't I?
08:35Um, I've got a feeling that Dean hasn't been christened either.
08:38No.
08:39Well, he's out and all then.
08:40Oh, really?
08:41Yeah.
08:42Just get christened now.
08:43As an adult.
08:44Well...
08:45Well, you can do that.
08:47Yeah, I mean, it's a lot of faff when you're old.
08:49Like, it's like a chicken pox, you know what I mean?
08:51And you want to get it when you're a kid.
08:52It just depends on how much you want to be a godfather, really.
08:55Big.
08:56A big amount.
08:57Big amount.
08:58Please.
08:59You see?
09:00There's nowhere to park.
09:01It's all double yellow.
09:03Just bang on your hazards and park where you like, Rachel.
09:06That's what I do.
09:07Yes, well, you shouldn't, Sue.
09:08I hate it when people do that.
09:10Oh, not the multi-storey, Rachel.
09:12There's no time.
09:13Yes, it will work out quicker.
09:14Let's go.
09:15Let's go.
09:18You'll have to get out, Mum.
09:19OK.
09:20Has anyone got a pen?
09:21Oh, yes, something?
09:22I have.
09:23Oh, great.
09:24Come on, come on.
09:25Go, go, go.
09:26Just get out of the car.
09:27No, no, I don't need to.
09:28It won't work, Mum.
09:32Oh, well done, Mum.
09:33OK, quickly, quickly, quickly, please, Rach.
09:36There you go.
09:37How are you going to get the ticket?
09:39OK, I'll just get out of the car.
09:41Right.
09:42You all right?
09:44Got it.
09:45Let's go.
09:50Just hold it in, Paul.
09:51Yes, thank you, Mum.
09:52Great advice.
09:53Are you all right, Rachel?
09:54No.
09:55I think I must have twisted my knee when reaching for the ticket.
09:57Ow.
09:58Oh, gosh.
09:59Sorry.
10:00Hello.
10:01Hi.
10:02Hi.
10:03Hi.
10:04Can we have some Imodium and a knee support, please?
10:07As quickly as possible.
10:09Is that for the same problem?
10:10No.
10:11No.
10:12No.
10:13The Imodium's for him.
10:14And I need a knee support.
10:15I've been over-squatting recently.
10:16Well, we both have.
10:17Chill out.
10:18We don't sell knee supports.
10:20Oh, well, any kind of...
10:21Well, strapping, something to make it less comfortable.
10:25Please.
10:26Where are your toilets?
10:27Oh, no.
10:28Toilets are stuff only.
10:29Well, this is an emergency.
10:31Yeah, sorry.
10:32Oh, sorry.
10:33As in, you'd rather me evacuate my bowels in your chemist.
10:36No, don't do that.
10:37Don't do that.
10:38No.
10:39Do you sell adult nappies?
10:40No, Mum.
10:41No?
10:42No.
10:43No.
10:44Okay.
10:45We're not going to do that.
10:46I don't want to.
10:47Ignore her.
10:48That's a pub across the road.
10:49Oh, no.
10:50I hate going to a pub toilet when I'm not a patron.
10:52Come on.
10:53Just hold it in.
10:54I want these ones, Mum.
10:55Right.
10:56Oh, God.
10:57Sorry.
10:58Wow.
11:00She can stay like that for hours.
11:01Really?
11:02Easy.
11:03I could sleep like this.
11:04Amy, could you turn it down up there, please?
11:06Sometimes I think Katie's left the flat.
11:08She's just squatting me on the sofa.
11:10Oh, my God.
11:11That has happened, yeah.
11:12Sorry, our daughter's just rehearsing upstairs.
11:14And that's good for you, is it?
11:15Well, let me put it this way, Rachel.
11:17Yeah?
11:18This is great.
11:19How old do you think I am?
11:20Ooh.
11:21Oh.
11:2236?
11:23Be honest.
11:2434?
11:25Come on.
11:26Last year I got ID'd at the cinema going to see Godzilla vs Kong 2.
11:30Really?
11:31That's a 12, isn't it?
11:32Exactly.
11:33Someone thought you were 11.
11:35Or under.
11:36The other day I went to get a train ticket and the guy in the booth goes...
11:39Oh, I love this one.
11:40Go on.
11:41Why aren't you using your young person's rail card?
11:43And I was like...
11:44Yeah.
11:45Because I'm 40.
11:46I'm 40.
11:47I know, it's mad, isn't it?
11:48Yeah.
11:49Yeah.
11:50Wow, what's this?
11:51Look at this.
11:52This is a doggy piddle.
11:53Yeah.
11:54If you do this every single day for 20 minutes, you'll live past 100.
11:59OK.
12:00Wow.
12:01Quite hard to prove that.
12:02Drop a squat for me, Rachel.
12:03Oh, my gosh.
12:04Yeah.
12:05What, right now?
12:06Well, yeah, if I'm going to take you on, I need to see what I'm dealing with.
12:08OK.
12:09Go on, Rach.
12:10OK.
12:11Breathe.
12:12Breathe.
12:13Yeah, all right.
12:14Oh, no!
12:15Oh, my God!
12:16What was that?
12:17Was that me?
12:18That was awful!
12:19She clicks.
12:20She does clicks.
12:21She needs a bath.
12:22Bit stiff, bit stiff, bit old.
12:23Oh, no, that's OK.
12:24That's all right.
12:25That's OK.
12:26That's OK.
12:28Now, just engage your core for me.
12:29My what?
12:30Your core.
12:33Engage.
12:34Am I doing it?
12:35No.
12:36No, I'm not.
12:37I wasn't.
12:38That's all right.
12:39Oh, thanks, bub.
12:40Hey, Dean.
12:41Ooh.
12:42I think you're punching above your weight there.
12:44Well, we both are.
12:45Yeah, I'm not sure it works like that.
12:49So, how did you two meet?
12:51Oh.
12:52So, I was in Costa Coffee.
12:55Mm-hmm.
12:56Katie was sitting at another table.
12:57Yeah.
12:58And when she got up to leave, I noticed she'd left her phone.
13:01Right.
13:02So, you returned it to her?
13:03No, I stole it.
13:04Then, later, the phone rings, I answer it, say I found it,
13:07arranged to meet up with her, you know, collect the reward.
13:09Okay.
13:10And we got on really well.
13:11It's romantic, isn't it?
13:13Almost.
13:14Yeah.
13:15So, you got a reward?
13:16Well, I mean, Katie's my reward, really.
13:19But, yeah, £80.
13:21Don't tell her the part where I stole the phone.
13:23Oh, I won't, I won't.
13:24Okay.
13:26Oh, we're good for getting dunked on Sunday.
13:28Er, dunked?
13:29Yeah, baptized.
13:30Father Damien's agreed to do that for us.
13:32Dunk the doughnuts.
13:33Good to Godfather!
13:34Oh, well done, Dean.
13:36Yeah.
13:37Oh, hiya, love.
13:38How's it going?
13:39Hi, Granny.
13:40Are you looking forward to your big gig?
13:42Oh, yeah.
13:43Nervous, but excited.
13:45You were terrific at the lamb and flag.
13:48Thanks, you said.
13:49A few times.
13:50Er, I actually, about that, G worries that, um, you know,
13:56while we're still quite unknown, don't have many fans.
14:00Well, any fans, really.
14:01You've got me.
14:02Exactly, that's...
14:03Yeah, he's just wondering if you could maybe, and I'm sorry to ask you,
14:08but not come to our gigs?
14:12For a bit.
14:13Just until you can blend in more with other people.
14:16Is G still angry with me about killing George Harrison?
14:20Oh, no, no, it's not that.
14:22It's the...
14:23The dancing?
14:24Um, yeah, just the whole thing.
14:28The optics, you know.
14:31Of course.
14:33Thanks.
14:34Sorry.
14:35Who killed George Harrison, then?
14:36Er...
14:37Oh, me, maybe.
14:38Unless he started smoking before 1961.
14:42Hmm.
14:43Interesting.
14:44Oh, my God!
14:45Yeah.
14:46You like the Beatles, do you?
14:47Well, I like Thomas the Tank Engine, and I know Ringo Starr does the voice for that,
14:50so...
14:51So, no, then.
14:52No!
14:53Low it.
14:54Go low.
14:55Go high.
14:56I think this is as low as it goes, actually, Katie.
15:00OK.
15:04Just head straight for the toilets.
15:05It's all about confidence.
15:06I'm not confident, am I?
15:07This is why I find the modern world generally horrible.
15:10This is the George.
15:11This is where the christening goo is happening later.
15:12Is it?
15:13Yeah.
15:14Oh!
15:17Oh!
15:18It's the ladies.
15:23Toilets are for customers only, bro.
15:25Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know.
15:26So...
15:27And it doesn't matter, because I am a customer.
15:28I'm coming to the post-christening do here later, so...
15:31OK, so you can use the toilet later, when you are a customer.
15:34OK, well, I can just buy something now, if that's...
15:36Sure.
15:37What can I get you, bro?
15:38Um, do you have Horlicks?
15:40Don't get Horlicks.
15:41A pint of Guinness, please.
15:44A pint?
15:45Why are you getting a pint?
15:46You should get a half.
15:47It's too late now, Sam.
15:48I've already ordered it.
15:49Go on.
15:50And, bro, bro, can you please refill my hot bot for me while I'm in the gents?
15:56My hot water bottle.
15:57Thank you so much.
15:58Oh, my God.
15:59Sure.
16:00And I'll have a shot of vodka.
16:01Really?
16:02OK.
16:03Yeah, just getting something to, um...
16:05I'm shitting myself a bit.
16:06Oh!
16:07I've got the Imodium in me bag.
16:09No, no, I mean...
16:10I'm nervous about the gig later.
16:12Oh, I see.
16:14Could I have some ice, please?
16:16Sure, like ice water, or...?
16:18Yes, but without the water.
16:20My knees are very sore.
16:21I've been working out, I guess, too much.
16:23Just, you know, stretch them out.
16:24Yeah, I'll stretch them out.
16:25I'll squat.
16:26Yes.
16:27You should be careful, Mum.
16:28Look, don't worry.
16:29You'll be amazing.
16:30I can't wait to see it.
16:32You, er...
16:33No, I mean, Sammy's film of it afterwards.
16:37No, don't worry.
16:38I, er...
16:39I won't be there.
16:40Where's the ice lady?
16:42No, I'm here.
16:43I was squatting, which hasn't helped at all.
16:47Can I order some nuggets, please?
16:49Dino!
16:50Go on, Dean.
16:51Dunk the hunk!
16:52Oh, well done, Dean.
16:53Well done, Dean.
16:54Well done, Dean.
16:55Let him have that water.
16:56Incredible.
16:57Go on, son.
16:58Look at him go.
16:59I baptise you in the name of the Father,
17:00God, the Son,
17:01Jesus,
17:02and the Holy Spirit.
17:03No idea.
17:04Oh, my God.
17:05Yay!
17:06Well done!
17:07Woo!
17:08Dino!
17:09Well done!
17:10Please be with you, yeah.
17:11We're at T-shirt competition, anyone?
17:13Oh, it's lovely here, isn't it?
17:16Yeah.
17:17It's really nice, Mum.
17:19Just a shame about the sewage company.
17:21Yeah.
17:22Sarah, what do you mean?
17:25Over 4,000 hours discharging raw faeces last year, apparently.
17:31OK, Paul, you ready?
17:33Er, yeah, sorry, Father.
17:35Where was this, Mum?
17:36It wasn't here, was it?
17:37So this is a full immersion baptism.
17:39The best thing is to hold on to me and I'll guide you in and out of the water.
17:43Well, OK.
17:44It can mess you up, by the way, you know, the squatting.
17:47Like, stuff can suddenly, like, ping or crunch, like, in your back and your knees.
17:51So, like, if you want to get some straps or sport tape, nah.
17:54Sport tape?
17:55No, I think I'll be OK, thank you.
17:57You know, I'm naturally quite a flexible person.
18:00Erm, and Katie says my technique is excellent, so, erm...
18:05You got this, Paolo.
18:06Oh, here he goes.
18:07Keep your mouth closed, Paul.
18:09I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
18:14And the Holy Spirit.
18:15Yay!
18:16OK, erm...
18:17Yeah!
18:18That didn't work.
18:19Huh?
18:20Yet your hands, they didn't go under.
18:21Right, well, can I just pop it in now?
18:23We have to do it again.
18:24What, the whole thing?
18:25Full immersion.
18:26Some of it went up my nose.
18:27Oh, my God.
18:28I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
18:32Oh, hang on.
18:33Woo!
18:34Paul!
18:35You have to keep your hands down.
18:36Full immersion, Paul.
18:37Sorry.
18:38Can't get...
18:39Full immersion.
18:40Hands in.
18:41We'll have to do it again.
18:42I baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
18:46Oh, God.
18:47OK.
18:48That's not going to work.
18:49Your hands, Paul.
18:50You need to keep your hands down.
18:51All right, just give us a chance, all right?
18:53I'll get there.
18:54I did make it look easy, to be fair.
18:55Let's try again.
18:56Can we tie him up?
18:58Right.
18:59Off we go, then.
19:00Hurry up, Paul.
19:02Yes, I know.
19:04I've just downed a pint of Guinness, Mum.
19:07OK?
19:08And Rach is still...
19:09Come on, Rach!
19:10Well, it was you that made us stop in the first place,
19:14and it was Sam who ordered food.
19:16Yeah, I can't believe you ordered nuggets, mate.
19:19What?
19:20My nuggets came quicker than your nuggets.
19:22I wish mine were nuggets.
19:24It was more like McFlurry.
19:26Oh.
19:27Are you all right, Rachael, love?
19:29No, Sue.
19:30It's my knees.
19:31They're rubbing.
19:33No.
19:34I just need something to sort of hold them.
19:36Oh, I know.
19:39Amy.
19:40Come and help.
19:43That's it, now.
19:44How's that, Rachael, love?
19:45Yeah.
19:46Pretty good, actually, mobility-wise.
19:48Not sure what it does to my outfit exactly, but...
19:50You look a bit like Robocop.
19:52Yeah.
19:54You know it's starting, like, right now.
19:55Oh, God.
19:56Oh!
19:57Let's go.
19:58Let's go.
19:59When's the actual water bit?
20:01Well, can you drag it out?
20:02Can you sing another hymn?
20:03No, no.
20:04Don't do that.
20:05Do not do that.
20:06Robin is suggesting that Katie and Chelsen
20:08step in as godparents.
20:09No!
20:10No way!
20:11We will be there!
20:12No way, Robin!
20:13We will be there!
20:14All right?
20:15That is a godparent promise.
20:16A god promise!
20:17Just park closer to the machine, Mum!
20:19No, I tried, Amy!
20:20I can do it!
20:21Just get out the car, Mum!
20:22No!
20:23I can't break it!
20:26Ah!
20:27Oh!
20:28I heard that.
20:29Oh, God!
20:30Oh, Rachel!
20:31Oh, I think I've done my back!
20:32Oh, Mum!
20:33Oh, I've done my back!
20:34We're really late, by the way.
20:36Yeah!
20:37Come on, Rach!
20:38Oh, quick!
20:39There's a toilet in here!
20:40Shh!
20:41Oh!
20:42Ah!
20:44Hello.
20:46Everyone.
20:48Oh!
20:49Er...
20:50Oh!
20:51Sorry.
20:52Sorry.
20:53Oh.
20:54Oh.
20:55Rach.
20:56Hi.
20:57Hiya.
20:58Oh, babe.
20:59Have you been shopping in TK Maxx again?
21:00TK Maxx, no.
21:01It's tape.
21:02The service started 20 minutes ago.
21:0320 minutes ago.
21:04Yeah.
21:05Well, great.
21:06I'm very ill.
21:07Hence the hotbot.
21:08Amy, can you sort us out a couple of chairs, please?
21:09Could you please, Amy?
21:10Right.
21:11Well, you shouldn't come to church if you're sick.
21:12Well, you shouldn't dunk people in faecal water.
21:13I mean, why do it in a river at all?
21:14Dad, chill.
21:15Jesus was baptised in the river Jordan.
21:16Yeah.
21:17Okay.
21:18Well, I'm guessing Anglian water didn't illegally dump sewage into that beforehand.
21:20Oh!
21:21And that doesn't explain why she's wrapped in... Is that duct tape?
21:22Yeah.
21:23It's duct tape.
21:24It is duct tape.
21:25It is duct tape.
21:26Yes.
21:27That's what I said.
21:28No, it's not.
21:29I got a bit carried away.
21:31I've been doing too many squats.
21:45Not possible.
21:46It is possible, Katie, I can't bed my knees.
21:47Sit down one.
21:50She looks at the tin, man.
21:51What do you do?
21:52No.
21:53I said Robocop. Anyone silver, basically.
21:56Can I continue with the baptism now?
21:58Yeah, sorry, I've just got to nip to the loo quickly, very quickly.
22:00What?
22:01I've just downed a pint of Guinness.
22:02Legend.
22:03Nope! No time.
22:04If you can't stand by the front, as a good parent,
22:07I'm afraid you'll have to sit it out.
22:09OK, fine, forget it.
22:10Sorry, Katie, sorry, Gelson. I'm ready.
22:13Righto, off you go.
22:15I don't want to do it anywhere.
22:17Oh, my God. No, it's all right, I just can't.
22:19I'll just tip you out. Just tip it a bit.
22:21Will your legs hold? Thank you.
22:22Parents and good parents,
22:24is it your wish for Atlas Bruce to be baptised in the faith of the church,
22:27which you've all professed with you?
22:28Yes, it is.
22:30Atlas Bruce...
22:31OK.
22:32..I baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son and the...
22:36Whoa, Dad.
22:38Oh, no.
22:40What are you doing?
22:41Stop it.
22:43What?
22:44The, erm...
22:45Oh, Paul.
22:47I said we should have got you some nappies.
22:50Oh, gross.
22:51Oh, my God.
22:52What is it?
22:53Dad.
22:54What is it?
22:55Do you seriously not even know you're doing this?
22:56It's just strides, mate.
22:57Huh?
22:58Oh, my God.
22:59I'm so sorry.
23:00Oh!
23:01No!
23:02Ow!
23:03It's my hot butt!
23:04Oh!
23:05It's my hot butt, it's leaking.
23:06It's not urine.
23:07The duct tape has lost its adhesion, so it's leaking.
23:10I've not wet myself.
23:11Well, you have.
23:12No, I haven't. Not in a bad way.
23:13No, no.
23:14I'm fine.
23:15I'm fine.
23:16Carry on, please.
23:17Oh, gosh, no.
23:18Hang on.
23:19I'm about to buckle.
23:20Oh, God.
23:21Oh, God.
23:22I can't bend this.
23:23It's wet.
23:24Sliding through the urine.
23:25Sliding through the urine.
23:26It's not urine.
23:27It's not urine.
23:28Yeah, yeah.
23:29Through the urine.
23:30It's not urine.
23:31It smells like urine.
23:32Oh, my God.
23:33It's not urine.
23:34I'm so sorry. Carry on.
23:35I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son, and the...
23:39It's not urine.
23:40Got parents in there?
23:41Just cut out the trousers.
23:42I'm trying to.
23:43I'm trying to.
23:44I'm trying to.
23:45Atlas hates Dean.
23:46She just do this all the time.
23:47Everybody say, baby.
23:48Sue.
23:49Dean thought you might like to see a photo.
23:52Oh, right.
23:53Hang on.
23:54It's not a willy one, is it?
23:56Because I wouldn't like to see that.
23:58What?
23:59No, it's George Harrison from 1960.
24:02Smoking.
24:03What?
24:04Oh!
24:05Oh, Gelson!
24:06Oh, thank the Lord!
24:08Are you all right?
24:09Yeah.
24:10I didn't kill George Harrison.
24:14Cool.
24:15Do you want any more pictures of Long Island Ice-T?
24:17We...
24:19Oh, actually, we know.
24:20No, we can't.
24:21Sorry, everyone.
24:22Just a quick announcement.
24:24It is now, ladies and gentlemen, time to drain your drinks and your bladders and head over
24:28to Bogeys.
24:29Bogeys!
24:30For Atlas' very first BBOTB!
24:33Bedford Battle of the Bands!
24:34Yay!
24:35Where our very own Amy Jessup will be performing!
24:38Oh!
24:39Oh!
24:40Oh!
24:41Oh, God.
24:42Battle of the Bands!
24:43Okay.
24:44Okay.
24:45Good luck.
24:46Go on in.
24:47Yeah.
24:48Thanks.
24:49Yeah, ma'am.
24:50You're not coming in?
24:51Er, no, no.
24:52I'll wait out here.
24:53It's a bit loud for me.
24:54What, here?
24:55You're not going to be lonely?
24:57Oh, no, no.
24:58Look.
24:59I've got me lonely planet book.
25:00Okay.
25:01All right.
25:02See me.
25:05Go get him, Amy!
25:07You ready?
25:08Yeah.
25:14Pretty good, yeah?
25:15You don't like it.
25:19Give it up for, um, Cold Sick.
25:22Sickles!
25:23Yeah, Cold Sick.
25:24Decent, lads!
25:25Decent!
25:26Next up, we have the G-Hypothesis.
25:34Good luck.
25:35All right.
25:36What?
25:37How come you're here?
25:38Well, I'm not dead, Sam.
25:39I'm just not going out with Amy anymore.
25:40Oh, yeah, of course.
25:41Yeah, and I put up with a lot of terrible rehearsals,
25:43so I'd like to see the end product.
25:45And, you know, I missed you guys, so.
25:47Nice.
25:48Nice.
25:49Oh, sorry.
25:50My God.
25:51I mean, look at that.
25:52Yeah.
25:53I cannot believe she's still squatting.
25:55Mm.
25:56Mm.
25:57You know, if that's what it takes to stay looking young,
25:59then you can shove it up your core.
26:04Yeah, look, I'm sorry if I make you feel old, Rach.
26:07Older.
26:08With my hot bot and my horlicks.
26:11Of course you don't.
26:12Is that horlicks?
26:13Didn't realise you were drinking horlicks.
26:14Yeah, I need it to settle my tummy.
26:15OK.
26:16Well, at least I'm not actually incontinent.
26:18Yeah.
26:19Yet.
26:20Ha.
26:21I will be.
26:22Ha.
26:23You know, I'm not scared of getting old.
26:26Hmm.
26:27Oh.
26:28As long as I get to do it with you.
26:30Hmm.
26:35Ah, my back.
26:36You all right?
26:37Yeah, not really.
26:38We'll have a bath.
26:39Yeah.
26:40We'll have a bath later.
26:41OK, Bedford.
26:42Let me hear it.
26:43Woo!
26:44Bedford.
26:45My name's Gee.
26:46This is Amy.
26:47Welcome to the Gee Hypothesis.
26:50One, two, three.
26:51Sorry, one sec.
26:52What are you doing?
26:53No, it's...
26:54I just have to...
26:55Be back.
26:56Be back.
26:57Whoa!
26:58She'll be right back.
26:59Sorry about this.
27:00She's just doing a...
27:01Doing a splash or something?
27:02Where are you going?
27:03Amy?
27:05Amy?
27:13No!
27:14Oh!
27:15Here she is!
27:16Oh, yes, please!
27:17Where have you been?
27:18Brandon's down there.
27:19Yeah.
27:20For God's sake.
27:21Sorry.
27:22I just wanted to, um...
27:23This is my granny, everyone.
27:24Yeah!
27:25She's the coolest person I know,
27:26and she's met the Beatles, and, um...
27:28The Beatles?
27:29Show us the time.
27:30She has.
27:31Uh, yeah.
27:32I just...
27:33I'm here for this, so...
27:34Amy?
27:35I love you!
27:36And you, Graham?
27:37It's G.
27:38It's G now.
27:39Oh!
27:40Hey, Maya.
27:42Thanks for coming.
27:43Aw!
27:44Aw!
27:45Aw, Maya!
27:46Oh, I didn't know you were going to be here!
27:48Aw!
27:49All right, all right.
27:50Let's hurry up.
27:51Come on.
27:52Okay, here we go.
27:53One!
27:54Two!
27:55One!
27:56Two!
27:57Three!
27:58Four!
27:59Running in the city
28:00Of empty smiles
28:02A tear upon the face
28:04Of a robot child
28:08An emoji in the place
28:10Of a mother's smile
28:12Can you look beyond your screen
28:16For a little while?
28:18Oh!
28:19Oh!
28:20Oh!
28:21Oh!
28:22Oh!
28:23Oh!
28:24Oh!
28:25Machine TD!
28:26Machine TD!
28:27Machine TD!
28:28Machine TD!
28:29Machine TD!
28:30Machine TD!
28:31Machine TD!
28:32Machine TD!
28:33Machine TD!
28:34Machine TD!
28:35Machine TD!
28:36Machine TD!
28:37Machine TD!
28:38Machine TD!
28:39Machine TD!
28:40Machine TD!
28:41Machine TD!
28:42Machine TD!
28:43Machine TD!
28:44Machine TD!
28:45Machine TD!
28:46Machine TD!
28:47Machine TD!
28:48Machine TD!
28:49Machine TD!
28:50Machine TD!
28:51Machine TD!
28:52Machine TD!
28:53Machine TD!
28:54Machine TD!
Recommended
28:33
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