- 2 days ago
As for the plot, a man who gets fired regularly from jobs gets butler training, takes over for a neurotic woman's babysitter as a butler, predictable boring bratty kid events occur, non-prudish butler guy eventually adapts and bonds with kids, neurotic woman views butler as potential father figure, butler quits job for
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I am the matriarch of a great American family taking on the ultimate challenge, the perfect
00:00:29family meal.
00:00:30I understand, Mama Clara.
00:00:31Working in the small takeout franchise is traditionally a gateway to bigger and better things.
00:00:36I understand, Mama Clara.
00:00:37You create synergies, you solve problems.
00:00:40I understand, Mama Clara.
00:00:41But that is what happens when I go to the bathroom and leave you in charge of the french fries.
00:00:47Well, give me another chance.
00:00:49Give your Uncle Bob another chance.
00:00:51Bob, you're no uncle and I'm no mama.
00:00:54The cute names are company policy.
00:00:56That's all just feel good stuff so they can pay you less.
00:00:59We're a family.
00:01:00Look around.
00:01:01Dad!
00:01:02Are you okay?
00:01:03Dad.
00:01:04We're family.
00:01:05This is my real father, Bob.
00:01:07There's a difference.
00:01:09This is my real father, Bob.
00:01:10There's a difference.
00:01:11This is my real father, Bob.
00:01:12There's a difference.
00:01:13Thanks.
00:01:14God, check it out.
00:01:15Take it out.
00:01:16Goней your feet inえーly.
00:01:17You're entering four point foot in...
00:01:18See you when I'm helping.
00:01:23Go for way.
00:01:24Sorry.
00:01:29It's right and got to roll
00:01:31So I hit the road and made my getaway
00:01:35Restless feeling
00:01:38Sorry
00:01:41I started searching for the bed
00:01:44No, no, no, no
00:01:52No, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop
00:01:55Stop!
00:01:59Help, help
00:02:05Grab one of this rope here
00:02:08Pull it
00:02:10Peace
00:02:18Hi, people
00:02:21Save the fishies, save the fishies, save the fishies, save the fishies
00:02:30Save the fishies
00:02:31I'm an astronaut. I'm a ballerina. I'm an astronaut. I'm a ballerina
00:02:43I'm an astronaut, I'm a ballerina.
00:02:49I'm an astronaut, I'm a ballerina.
00:03:07Shave, shave, shave.
00:03:08Ah! Sorry.
00:03:09Sorry about that.
00:03:20Oh!
00:03:22Oh!
00:03:28Oh!
00:03:30Oh!
00:03:32Oh!
00:03:34Huh, I'm going to need a bigger board.
00:03:44It's not a big deal, rascal.
00:03:46We're only on the B's, remember.
00:03:49Got all this to go.
00:03:51Okay, so we did burger assistant.
00:03:53Next up, we have business consulting.
00:03:57Butcher.
00:03:59Oh, whoa.
00:04:00Hey, listen to this.
00:04:01Listen.
00:04:01Listen, cosmopolitan butler school to come part of a family in five days.
00:04:09Rascal.
00:04:11We're going butling.
00:04:13Do you think you're going to be a lassie?
00:04:439.30.
00:04:47Good morning, students.
00:04:49Good morning, sir.
00:04:51Two lines, please.
00:04:54My name is Butler.
00:04:58I'm a born butler in all senses of the phrase.
00:05:01I come from a long line of butlers.
00:05:02In only five days, you will each receive a certificate of competence to wait on any family on this side of the pond.
00:05:10For those of you that are interested, the full English course lasts a further 17 years.
00:05:17Standards are slightly higher.
00:05:18So, what does a butler do?
00:05:23Hmm?
00:05:24Answer, anything.
00:05:26He must cook, clean, tend the garden, groom the horses, write letters, iron shirts, arrange appointments, greet guests, run baths, buy groceries, pack cases, unpack cases, make reservations, cancel reservations, and still find time to be a confidant.
00:05:45Understood?
00:05:45Yes, sir.
00:05:46Yes, sir.
00:05:47Yes, sir.
00:05:48Yes, sir.
00:05:51Grooving is crucial to the role.
00:05:56Substantial facial hair is quite unacceptable.
00:06:00Rabbi, how would you serve soup?
00:06:02Neither it goes or you go.
00:06:06Yeah.
00:06:06Butlers must be immaculate, they're dressed.
00:06:13So, what's your excuse, you miserable heap of mess?
00:06:16This is me tidying.
00:06:18Not in my book.
00:06:19Do you possess any offensively tasteless tattoos perpetrated in a drunken haze?
00:06:26No.
00:06:28Any piercings of body parts?
00:06:30I do have a series of small holes in my tongue from when I was six.
00:06:34My cousin, he gave me a black sea urchin thing and told me it was a chocolate muffin.
00:06:39I think they've grown over.
00:06:43Show me your nipples.
00:06:46My nipples?
00:06:48Yes, your nipples.
00:06:50I can't blame a man for asking.
00:07:00Frankly, you look the weird sort.
00:07:03I'm weird.
00:07:20Come on, come on.
00:07:28Tess, Tess.
00:07:35This elevator has already left.
00:07:38Stop that, you're causing a delay.
00:07:40I have an important meeting.
00:07:42If it was so important, you would have left earlier, like I did.
00:07:44Mother, you're embarrassing us.
00:07:47Stop.
00:07:47Stop.
00:07:48Stop.
00:07:48Stop.
00:07:50What's a rude person?
00:07:53Suck up.
00:07:56Any news, Judith?
00:07:57Not yet.
00:07:59Okay.
00:08:01Kate.
00:08:05All right, go.
00:08:06Mr. Dickens called.
00:08:08Urgent.
00:08:08Skip.
00:08:09Next.
00:08:09Make the investment conference call.
00:08:11Urgent.
00:08:11Safe.
00:08:12Next.
00:08:13Jacques called about dinner on Monday.
00:08:15Confirm, 8 o'clock.
00:08:16It's them.
00:08:20Okay.
00:08:21Put him through.
00:08:22Good luck.
00:08:25A word or two about money.
00:08:28Money makes the world go round, doesn't it?
00:08:30Yes, Mr. Lord.
00:08:31Balderdash.
00:08:33Trust, not money.
00:08:35That's what makes the world go round.
00:08:37If I haven't been able to produce at least one trustworthy butler out of this course, then I've wasted my time.
00:08:45As I've made clear, you will be in complete control of the household.
00:08:52However, you will be treated by all other members of the household as if you were slightly less significant than a piece of used toilet paper.
00:08:59To simulate this, I've devised a rather amusing little exercise.
00:09:10You're enjoying this, aren't you?
00:09:12I'm getting no pleasure from it whatsoever.
00:09:15All right.
00:09:18Boozeye.
00:09:18Now look, open wide for one teeny-weeny little big bean, or I'll tell your mom.
00:09:28But I'll tell her you hit me.
00:09:31What?
00:09:32I'll tell her you hit me and pulled my hair.
00:09:37Okay, leave the food.
00:09:39Can I watch TV tonight?
00:09:41I will not be blackmailed by you children.
00:09:44Mrs. Withington!
00:10:00What happened?
00:10:04Sorry, Miss Jameson, but they are the devil's seed.
00:10:08Oh, no, they're just playing with you.
00:10:10They're delightful children, really.
00:10:12Underneath all the horrible stuff.
00:10:15Please, I promise Jacques I would not let him down again.
00:10:17Ho, ho.
00:10:17Oh!
00:10:31Oh!
00:10:32Oh, my God.
00:10:34Hello?
00:10:45Bob the babysitter?
00:10:46No, ma'am.
00:10:47This is Bob the butler.
00:10:49Now look, I definitely have this number down for Bob the babysitter.
00:10:54Well, that was at least seven jobs back.
00:10:56But you were a babysitter once.
00:10:58Well, yes.
00:11:00Just once.
00:11:02Oh, please, this is an emergency.
00:11:04One minute, please.
00:11:06Rascal.
00:11:08Damsel in distress.
00:11:09May I have your leave?
00:11:12Thank you, Master Rascal.
00:11:16I'd be happy to.
00:11:17Oh, my.
00:11:38Are you Bob?
00:11:39At your service.
00:11:42You have a piece of tomato in your hair.
00:11:43Oh, mm-hmm.
00:11:48Gone.
00:11:50Oh, okay.
00:11:51Well, um, I want you to meet my children.
00:11:53This is my daughter, Tess.
00:11:56Miss Tess.
00:11:57Hello.
00:11:58Lovely name.
00:11:59My son, Bates.
00:12:00Hmm.
00:12:01Master Bates.
00:12:04Okay.
00:12:05I have to go.
00:12:06So do me a favor and do not hurt him.
00:12:11Bob, please don't sit on any of the nice chairs unless you have to.
00:12:15Okay.
00:12:16Good night, children.
00:12:19Good night, Mother.
00:12:21Enjoy your romantic evening out.
00:12:23Have fun.
00:12:32Don't forget the back ones, Master.
00:12:34Why do you call me Master?
00:12:36I'm studying to be a butler.
00:12:38I don't like it.
00:12:39Master of Bates.
00:12:42This feels wrong.
00:12:44Indeed.
00:12:45How about I call you Bates?
00:12:49I like that.
00:12:51Yeah.
00:12:51Just Bates.
00:12:52Mm-hmm.
00:12:53Nice chair.
00:13:04Bates, are you awake?
00:13:15When will Mom be back?
00:13:17I think Bob's a real find.
00:13:20He let me sleep in my fireman costume.
00:13:22He's crazy.
00:13:24I like him more than Mrs. Wessington.
00:13:27Would you like to have him back?
00:13:29Can we?
00:13:29Can we?
00:13:30Leave it to me.
00:13:31Thanks for a lovely evening.
00:13:44Ah, the pleasure it was.
00:13:46All mine.
00:13:46I'd invite you up.
00:13:48I know.
00:13:48The children will be up as usual.
00:13:50Oh, my God.
00:13:54What?
00:13:54What's wrong?
00:13:55The children's lights are all out.
00:14:07What's wrong?
00:14:08Nothing.
00:14:09They've been good as gold.
00:14:10Oh, cut the BS.
00:14:12What are they, bound and gagged somewhere?
00:14:13You really should be congratulated, ma'am, on raising such wondrous progeny.
00:14:19Can I go now?
00:14:21Normally there are a pain in the derriere.
00:14:26I think here you say brats.
00:14:28Well, I never say brats.
00:14:31Well, I don't know what you did, but I'm impressed.
00:14:35Jacques, will you pay Bob for me?
00:14:36Of course.
00:14:40I'm tipping you very generously here.
00:14:46I want you to know why.
00:14:49Tonight, with the kids in bed, all night, I get to do what Frenchmen love to do most.
00:14:58You're going to look in the mirror for eight hours?
00:15:01Thanks, Jacques.
00:15:02This morning, those of us that remain will address the basic skills required for a typical day,
00:15:10starting with undressing the master.
00:15:13Now, I shall need a volunteer.
00:15:15Mr. Tree, if you please.
00:15:20Jacket.
00:15:23Good.
00:15:25Tie.
00:15:29Waist coat.
00:15:30The best for you.
00:15:32Shirt.
00:15:40Oh, come on.
00:15:41Haven't you got some kind of dummy?
00:15:43Dear boy, if you intend to be a butler, you better get used to naked old flesh.
00:15:48Are you sure this isn't a British thing?
00:15:49I mean, most Americans know how to dress themselves.
00:15:52On the contrary.
00:15:54We are here to educate them to do it better.
00:15:57And to dress for the right occasion.
00:16:00Whoa!
00:16:01Yo, I'm out of here.
00:16:05Well, Bob, you seem to be the last one left.
00:16:11Mr. Butler, I don't really know if this is necessary.
00:16:14I mean, I'll give you a hundred bucks if you leave the rest on.
00:16:17A hundred and fifty.
00:16:19A thousand.
00:16:19Please stop there.
00:16:23Dress me.
00:16:26Mom.
00:16:26No.
00:16:27It's okay.
00:16:28It's okay, Nico.
00:16:29I don't want to work here.
00:16:31I can't stand the sight of blood.
00:16:33All that screaming.
00:16:34You took the guy's earlobe off.
00:16:36Not on purpose.
00:16:37You used to work here?
00:16:40Of course I used to work here.
00:16:41Barber comes before butler in the yellow pages.
00:16:44So, how do you like it?
00:16:46Neat and tidy.
00:16:48As the man says.
00:16:50No beard.
00:16:52No beard.
00:16:53Butlers don't have beards.
00:16:55Butlers wear beards.
00:16:56No beard.
00:16:57A bit of beard.
00:16:58No beard at all.
00:16:59Itty bit of beard.
00:17:00No beard, whatever.
00:17:02Itsy bit of beard.
00:17:04No, not even a little bitty, bitty, bitty, weenie, bitty, bitty beard.
00:17:07Itty bit of butler beard.
00:17:08Beardless.
00:17:08Itty bit of butler beard.
00:17:09No beard.
00:17:10Itty bit of butler beard.
00:17:11Itty bit of butler beard.
00:17:13Itty bit of butler beard.
00:17:14Settled.
00:17:15So?
00:17:16Well, pretty much as it is.
00:17:22What do you expect to do, Bob, if this doesn't work out?
00:17:26I'll probably move on to the seas.
00:17:29You know?
00:17:30Camping guide.
00:17:31Carpet cleaner.
00:17:33Car washer.
00:17:35Computer hacker.
00:17:37Extraordinary.
00:17:38You seem to have such faith in yourself where none is justified.
00:17:45Thanks, Mr. Butler.
00:17:49Well, well, well.
00:17:57A Gentleman's Gentleman by George.
00:18:01Loving breaths of deep acceptance.
00:18:10All right, can we speed it up, please?
00:18:19Here's my needs analysis.
00:18:21I think it'll save time.
00:18:22What are you saving time for?
00:18:24What are you saving time for?
00:18:24Your family?
00:18:25But you don't even have time to enjoy your kids.
00:18:28Or Jacques.
00:18:29Jack's not family.
00:18:31There's too much work.
00:18:32There's too much work.
00:18:33I need more time.
00:18:35Remember your mantra.
00:18:38I cannot organize the world.
00:18:40Blah, blah, blah.
00:18:41Maybe you could work just as hard and find someone who brings the best out of me and Bates.
00:18:48Tess, that is a very sensible suggestion.
00:18:52Do you have anyone in mind?
00:18:53Not really.
00:18:55Well, I quite liked the babysitter we had last night.
00:19:01But Tess said he was freaky.
00:19:04He's too strict.
00:19:05He's way too strict.
00:19:07Definitely not him.
00:19:09Ah.
00:19:11Well, it's not your call, children.
00:19:23What are we doing?
00:19:25Come on, come on, come on.
00:19:28Up you go.
00:19:29Standing still, Mr. Pree, is highly prized in butler circles.
00:19:38Freak.
00:19:39Just get up.
00:19:42Tiny people down below.
00:19:54Good.
00:19:55I want you to clear your mind and relax.
00:19:58Relax.
00:20:00Are you kidding me?
00:20:02I'm standing inches from certain death here.
00:20:05I'll tell you what.
00:20:06Think of the most beautiful thing you've seen in the last 48 hours.
00:20:11Now, come on.
00:20:13You can do it.
00:20:14I'm beginning to have faith in you, Bob.
00:20:18Okay.
00:20:19I've got it.
00:20:20What is it?
00:20:22It's a woman.
00:20:23Can you picture her?
00:20:27Yes.
00:20:29Excellent.
00:20:30Hold that thought.
00:20:32Hey, kiddo.
00:20:54How was your day?
00:20:55Okay.
00:20:57Just okay?
00:20:58Well, mine was pretty good.
00:20:59Do you want to hear about it?
00:21:00Does it have anything to do with captain management?
00:21:03Yes.
00:21:04No.
00:21:15It's polite to knock.
00:21:17It's bedtime, sweetheart.
00:21:19I haven't finished.
00:21:21Now, please.
00:21:22No.
00:21:23No.
00:21:32That's just what I need.
00:21:37Do you want to hear about my day?
00:21:38Now?
00:21:39Now?
00:21:40Your mind is full of work and kids, work and kids, work and kids.
00:21:47That leaves little for me.
00:21:49I am trying to sell my business, Jacques.
00:21:51For months, ma chérie.
00:21:53But when?
00:21:55I'm thinking of hiring Bob.
00:21:57The babysitter?
00:21:58The butler.
00:22:01The children will live with him.
00:22:04I'm joking.
00:22:05No.
00:22:06He'll live in the attic.
00:22:07We'll have a babysitter whenever we want.
00:22:10Parfait.
00:22:11Can you hurry up in there?
00:22:16You've been in there for hours.
00:22:18Almost finished.
00:22:27You'll tidy all this up?
00:22:30Baby, stop that.
00:22:31It's a toilet bidet.
00:22:33What's a toilet bidet?
00:22:35It's like a fountain for your ass.
00:22:36Ask me later.
00:22:38Jacques says he's here.
00:22:39The butler.
00:22:42Now, then, Robert.
00:22:43Actually, my name's Bob.
00:22:45Oh, well, Bob is short for Robert.
00:22:48Isn't Rob short for Robert?
00:22:50Yes.
00:22:51So then Bob would be short for Bobbert.
00:22:53Your name is Bobbert?
00:22:54No, just Bob.
00:22:56Okay, then.
00:22:57As long as we're satisfied with first names, can we continue?
00:22:59Of course.
00:23:00Though I don't know your name,
00:23:02is it all right if I call you Mistress Jameson?
00:23:04Oh, no.
00:23:07That sounds rather sordid, doesn't it?
00:23:09Perhaps you could just call me Anne.
00:23:13Anne.
00:23:14Just Anne.
00:23:16Anne.
00:23:18Yes.
00:23:19Anne.
00:23:20Eh bien, Anne.
00:23:22Mr. Tree,
00:23:23how many children do you have?
00:23:26Well, I don't have any children.
00:23:28But you said in the flyer that you would take care of the children like your own.
00:23:33Yeah, if I had some.
00:23:35But you did just recently attend the Cosmopolitan Butler School?
00:23:40I don't know.
00:23:42Bob-san.
00:23:43What did he say?
00:23:44Uh, he said he'll drop the bill off next week.
00:23:47Um...
00:23:48Um...
00:23:49Uh...
00:23:50Uh...
00:23:51Uh...
00:23:52How much do I owe you?
00:23:53Uh...
00:23:54Uh...
00:23:55How much do I owe you?
00:23:56Uh...
00:23:57180 dollars for pipes.
00:23:58Plumbing...
00:23:59300 dollars.
00:24:00And...
00:24:01B-day system...
00:24:021200 dollars.
00:24:03Uh...
00:24:04Uh...
00:24:05I'll take care of the bill next week.
00:24:06Yes.
00:24:07What did he say?
00:24:08Uh...
00:24:09He said he'll drop the bill off next week.
00:24:15Um...
00:24:16Jacques...
00:24:17Got me a wonderful present.
00:24:18A state-of-the-art toilet.
00:24:21A toilet?
00:24:23What a nice gift.
00:24:25Well, I'll be sorry.
00:24:27Good-bye.
00:24:28Good-bye.
00:24:31My goodness, Bob.
00:24:32I had no idea that you were fluent in Japanese.
00:24:35I worked in the Asian market.
00:24:37Well, that's impressive.
00:24:38You sold stock.
00:24:39Hmm?
00:24:40Stocks.
00:24:41Vegetables.
00:24:42Some strangely-shaped fruits.
00:24:47Horseshoe-shaped...
00:24:48Fruits.
00:24:49Uh...
00:24:50Bob, I would like to go over a few specifics.
00:24:53I color categorize my sponges.
00:24:55Hmm?
00:24:56Blue for bathroom.
00:24:57Yellow for kitchen.
00:24:58Purple for general.
00:24:59Green for the outdoors, car included.
00:25:01Please don't confuse them.
00:25:02Fine.
00:25:03No strange women in the house?
00:25:04Fine.
00:25:05No drugs?
00:25:06Fine.
00:25:07No pets?
00:25:08Are you allergic?
00:25:09They're unhygienic.
00:25:11Fine.
00:25:12I don't know how to do it.
00:25:13There are people.
00:25:19So what do you think?
00:25:20Oh, yes.
00:25:21Very strange.
00:25:22I don't understand this, uh, Rob...
00:25:25Bob...
00:25:26Bobbert business.
00:25:27Well, I suppose we could always interview other candidates.
00:25:28There are other candidates?
00:25:30No.
00:25:37I hired an assistant once.
00:25:39She seemed perfect, she worked hard, she did everything I told her to.
00:25:42One lunchtime, I saw her in the gym.
00:25:45She had a shower, and then she changed right back into her workout bra.
00:25:51I'm lost.
00:25:53I fired her on the spot, of course.
00:25:55You fired her because of her sweaty bra?
00:25:58Do you think Robert wears a bra?
00:26:02Oh, who knows?
00:26:04But if it doesn't work out, I'll change it.
00:26:06Okay.
00:26:23Bates!
00:26:25Sorry, Mom.
00:26:27I think you'll find that it's everything you need.
00:26:32I'm sure it's not up to your professional standards.
00:26:44It's... white!
00:26:46Yeah.
00:26:47Oh, I'm sorry it is such a mess.
00:26:53I can indeed organize the world.
00:26:59I need to organize the world.
00:27:16You're a rascal.
00:27:21Home.
00:27:22H yours.
00:27:29We are robots.
00:27:32We are monster robots.
00:27:33I am robot man.
00:27:34Get out of my way, I am computer man.
00:27:36Aren't you a little old to play with toys?
00:27:37Well I don't usually play with them, but...
00:27:40I got these when I was about your age, and I figured I'd give them to my own son one day.
00:27:47Didn't he want them?
00:28:03The children are in bed, ma'am.
00:28:05Thank you, Bob. Music to my ears.
00:28:08Is there anything else I can do for you?
00:28:09No.
00:28:10Thank you. I'll see you in the morning.
00:28:12I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't find any towels for your bathroom.
00:28:17No, I don't use them.
00:28:20Okay, then.
00:28:21They breed germs. I have a body dryer.
00:28:24A body dryer?
00:28:25Yes.
00:28:26Like a hair dryer?
00:28:29Bigger. Much more hygienic.
00:28:32Did I mention the sponge system? Blue for the bathroom?
00:28:35Purple, yellow, green.
00:28:38Well, good night, then.
00:28:39Good night.
00:28:43Good night.
00:28:51Good night.
00:28:52What's that smell?
00:29:09Cooking.
00:29:09Real food.
00:29:11Well, I guess Bob made us breakfast.
00:29:13Where did you get that blouse?
00:29:15It's an old one.
00:29:16Yeah, like really old. Like five years too old. It's way too small for you.
00:29:21Is not.
00:29:21Is.
00:29:22Is not.
00:29:23Let's have Bob decide.
00:29:24Bob.
00:29:25Is not.
00:29:26Is.
00:29:27Yes, ma'am?
00:29:28Tess's blouse.
00:29:29Tess's blouse.
00:29:29Indecently small or acceptable fashion.
00:29:32Sorry, Miss Tess.
00:29:42Well, that's a lot of pancakes.
00:29:45It's more cost effective to prepare in bulk.
00:29:47They teach you that bulk stuff at Butler's school?
00:29:50Actually, it's the finest.
00:29:54The finest cooking school in the world.
00:29:57The cordon bleu.
00:29:59The U.S. Army.
00:30:00The Army?
00:30:01Cool.
00:30:03Would you like some pancakes, Miss Tess?
00:30:05Sure.
00:30:05Make me put on 50 pounds.
00:30:07That'll make me popular.
00:30:08Getting grounded for being rude will definitely make you popular.
00:30:16Miss Tess, I want to prepare a special dinner tonight.
00:30:21Sort of an introduction.
00:30:22What is your mother like?
00:30:24She likes anything she can eat quickly so she can get back to work.
00:30:29You know what would be good?
00:30:30A luau.
00:30:31She loves the whole Hawaiian thing.
00:30:34A luau, huh?
00:30:36Pork.
00:30:37Okay.
00:30:38I'll look into that.
00:30:42I knew a guy once.
00:30:44He was kind of a nervous fellow.
00:30:47He used to bite his nails.
00:30:49One day he was so upset he ate his whole hand.
00:30:53He did not.
00:30:54By the time we pulled him off, he'd chewed all the way up to the elbows.
00:30:57That is stupid.
00:30:58That fellow has to wear a muzzle now.
00:31:01A muzzle.
00:31:02All because he couldn't talk about his problems.
00:31:05I don't know about that outfit, Miss Tess.
00:31:09How are you getting out?
00:31:19I've got basketball today.
00:31:21That's great.
00:31:23I love basketball.
00:31:24You're not under four foot.
00:31:27I love basketball.
00:31:27You're not under four foot.
00:31:31Hi.
00:31:35Guess what?
00:31:36Join the Britney Spears fan club?
00:31:38My mom hired a butler.
00:31:40He looks like he's from Transylvania.
00:31:42He's not the only one.
00:31:44They remind me of the Addams family.
00:31:48Sad, sad, sad.
00:31:51Oh, my God.
00:32:21nice melons thank you thanks
00:32:42you you you you you you you you
00:33:12I don't know.
00:33:42I don't know.
00:34:12I don't know.
00:34:43Her cool friends are very sensitive.
00:34:47Does she have a lot of friends?
00:34:49Compared to me or to normal people?
00:34:54Tess said she'd rather die than be collected by a man who looks like a penguin.
00:34:57I only take random insults from immediate friends and family.
00:35:02I'm Tess's best friend.
00:35:04Good enough.
00:35:05Where is she?
00:35:06Waiting for you to leave or for cover of nightfall.
00:35:10Miss Tess?
00:35:13Tess Jameson?
00:35:17Your butler is here and waiting.
00:35:20Hurry up or I'll throw out your favorite Barney video and your stash of letters to one J. Timberlake.
00:35:27So how'd basketball go?
00:35:36I stunk.
00:35:37What'd you expect?
00:35:39I don't know.
00:35:40What did you expect?
00:35:42Well, I thought I'd be lousy.
00:35:43Well, then it all worked out the way you thought.
00:35:46Miss Tess, how was your day?
00:35:48Do you gamble?
00:35:50What do you got in mind?
00:35:51I bet you'll be fired within a week.
00:35:53What odds are you offering?
00:35:57Doesn't anyone want to sit up front with the luau dinner?
00:36:00Dinner is served.
00:36:23This is so perfect.
00:36:25Do you think she'll like it?
00:36:27She'll be breathless.
00:36:28It's a napkin moron.
00:36:32What are you?
00:36:33He made us all dinner.
00:36:34The least that we can do is show him a little gratitude.
00:36:41Oh my good God.
00:36:44A luau.
00:36:53Whose idea was this?
00:36:55The butler.
00:36:58One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, five Mississippi, six Mississippi, seven Mississippi, nine Mississippi, ten Mississippi.
00:37:17Mmm...
00:37:25Mmm... rich, full-bodied.
00:37:28Mmm... I smell a hint of mushroom.
00:37:32Shiitaki?
00:37:33Portobello. Burgundy region.
00:37:36I will take you there one day.
00:37:38Can I come to Verdungi?
00:37:40Oh, Bates, sweet!
00:37:42But it's not for les enfants.
00:37:44I think it will be a trip just for your mother and me.
00:37:49Jacques is joking.
00:37:51Of course we can all go together.
00:37:53The children would love it.
00:37:55Ah, the children?
00:37:56Of course.
00:37:57Can we go, Mom?
00:37:59Just the three of us?
00:38:01Madame.
00:38:03Kalua.
00:38:04Kua.
00:38:06The custom is to prepare the food in an emu or underground oven.
00:38:14Sounds wonderful, isn't it, children?
00:38:21Gross.
00:38:25It is normally served with a mashed taro root or poi.
00:38:38Plug it. Plug it up.
00:38:44Hold spigy. Hold spigy.
00:38:47Oh, Lord.
00:38:49Stay with me. Stay with me.
00:38:50Ah!
00:38:52Ah!
00:38:53Ah!
00:38:54Ah!
00:38:56Ah!
00:38:59You can't organize the world. You can't organize the world. You can't organize the world.
00:39:02I think you'll find that I've just won the bet.
00:39:09Oh, I'm so sorry. Here, let me help you.
00:39:24It was Sheila. But no, you do not want to check your preferences.
00:39:28I just wanted to make a nice dinner. Sort of a thank you.
00:39:36Maybe if I talk to Mom. Would that help?
00:39:38No. I'm the screw-up. I've done this before.
00:39:42You blew up another pig?
00:39:45Bedtime, mates.
00:39:48Good luck.
00:39:49Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire you right now?
00:39:53Yes.
00:39:54Okay. I'm listening.
00:39:57Can I have till tomorrow morning?
00:39:59This is a complete disaster area.
00:40:03My pristine dining room is covered in pig shrapnel.
00:40:07I'll clean it up.
00:40:09You better.
00:40:10Every...
00:40:12shred.
00:40:13Oh, and Bob, I think it's best if you never, ever, ever, cook anything again.
00:40:23Yes, ma'am.
00:40:33I thought you should know.
00:40:34Closed door, big hint.
00:40:37I'm staying.
00:40:38I thought servants were meant to be seen and not heard.
00:40:43Hey, these are great.
00:40:47Hey!
00:40:47Give me that. It's private.
00:40:50Don't get your knickers in enough.
00:41:00Closed door, closed, closed, closed, closed, closed, closed, closed, closed.
00:41:06Okay.
00:41:06Take your time today.
00:41:13There's no hurry.
00:41:15You can wait a while.
00:41:18It's only for a smile.
00:41:22Take your time today.
00:41:24Oh, there you go.
00:41:30Oh, jeez.
00:41:32Ah, sorry.
00:41:33Oh, my God.
00:41:34Oh, my God.
00:41:35Oh, my God.
00:41:36Oh, my God.
00:41:38Oh, my God.
00:41:39Oh, my God.
00:41:43So I'm here.
00:41:45Oh, my God.
00:41:47Oh, my God.
00:41:48Oh, my God.
00:41:49Hey, oh, my God.
00:41:50Hey, oh, my God.
00:41:51Come on my hand.
00:41:51Hey, oh, my God.
00:41:52Come on.
00:41:52Come on, Tess.
00:41:57Hello?
00:41:59Hi, Mom.
00:42:00I'm intrigued.
00:42:03No, Tess.
00:42:05There you go.
00:42:07Babe, there you are.
00:42:09Thanks.
00:42:11Nice hat.
00:42:21Right back, kid.
00:42:23Right back, right back.
00:42:35Will you shoot some balls with me?
00:42:37Sure.
00:42:41What's that?
00:42:43What?
00:42:45Have you got a remote control ball?
00:42:49Rascal?
00:42:50Who's Rascal?
00:42:51Rascal!
00:42:53Rascal!
00:42:59Rascal!
00:43:01Rascal!
00:43:05Rascal!
00:43:13Rascal!
00:43:21Rascal!
00:43:23Rascal!
00:43:25Poor thing.
00:43:36Someone's being a very naughty butler.
00:43:48Rascal.
00:43:49Rascal.
00:43:50He licked the jar right out of Newton's hand,
00:43:53sliming his palm with a streak of black gob.
00:43:56Perhaps the most disgusting thing Newton had experienced
00:43:59since the time he mistakenly ate a maggot.
00:44:03Hi, guys.
00:44:04How was your day?
00:44:06Anything interesting happen?
00:44:09Usual.
00:44:10Huh.
00:44:16Why aren't you a dad?
00:44:18Just didn't happen yet.
00:44:23Bob!
00:44:36Bob!
00:44:41Too loud?
00:44:43Uh, no.
00:44:44Just, uh, just really, really horrible.
00:44:48I love the trumpet.
00:44:50Then you should practice.
00:44:53Yeah.
00:44:54Um, Bob, you must think I'm a really horrible mother.
00:45:01No.
00:45:03Well, it wasn't an easy decision.
00:45:05Sure.
00:45:06It's not like time was exactly on my side,
00:45:09so I thought I would do it.
00:45:10Hey.
00:45:13You're blessed.
00:45:14Sorry.
00:45:18I, uh, spoke out of turn.
00:45:21Zip.
00:45:22That's all right.
00:45:26Can I ask you a question?
00:45:28Yeah?
00:45:29What's capital management?
00:45:36Bye.
00:45:37Thanks for the lift.
00:45:38See you later.
00:45:40Bye-bye.
00:45:41Bye-bye.
00:45:41Bye-bye.
00:45:41Bye-bye.
00:45:44Hello, Judith.
00:45:50I'll be about an hour or so.
00:45:52It can wait.
00:45:54Yeah.
00:45:54I'll be on my cell phone if you need me.
00:45:56Okay.
00:45:57Bye.
00:45:59Oh!
00:46:04Oh!
00:46:06Well, I can't come to a meeting with stains down my blouse,
00:46:10now can I?
00:46:11I'm back, Bob.
00:46:12I'm just going to take a quick bath.
00:46:14I'll be there as soon as I can.
00:46:25I'll be over at 10.
00:46:27Don't tell me time it again.
00:46:29I can't wait.
00:46:30Can I get you some towels, man?
00:46:56Get off me!
00:47:12Don't get that, Flippin' Burgers.
00:47:18Then I dig right, cut left, and slam dunk it.
00:47:22Who traded in my geek brother for a jock geek brother?
00:47:27Hey, where are you all going on a Sunday?
00:47:29Basketball tryouts.
00:47:31Well, I'll drive you. Let me get my purse.
00:47:33I want to go with Bob.
00:47:36Okay, uh, what about you, Tess?
00:47:39I arranged to meet Sophie.
00:47:42Don't you have work to do?
00:47:44Nope. Amazingly.
00:47:47All right, well, see you later.
00:47:52Are we? Hello?
00:47:57Anne, what's wrong?
00:47:59I've got the whole day free, and I'm lonely.
00:48:07Oh, it's so nice to do something for myself for a change.
00:48:11We'll go out and find a nice, quiet place.
00:48:14Oh, this is lovely.
00:48:18This is nice.
00:48:20This is relaxing.
00:48:26Take me home.
00:48:27What?
00:48:29I can't be here without them.
00:48:31I just can't enjoy myself without the kids.
00:48:34I mean, you know, I just can't.
00:48:35Let's go.
00:48:36Jacques, I have children. I love them.
00:48:39They're not just going to disappear.
00:48:41You would prefer that I disappear?
00:48:42Examine the situation.
00:48:44One, you are a single woman.
00:48:47Very beautiful, true, but very, very anal.
00:48:53Anal. I'm anal.
00:48:56Two, your children.
00:48:59They're not beautiful, just annoying.
00:49:04Three, if I go...
00:49:05I'll take three. You go, now.
00:49:09Take a cap.
00:49:10Anne, you are a single woman of a certain age.
00:49:14You will not find another man.
00:49:17Statistically, you have a better chance of being hit by a truck.
00:49:22One driven by Bub.
00:49:23So?
00:49:33So what?
00:49:34Well, how'd it go?
00:49:36No tryouts.
00:49:38There was no tryouts.
00:49:40The coach had already decided who was on the team.
00:49:44What? That's not fair.
00:49:48Wait here.
00:49:49You're not going to embarrass me.
00:49:53You bet I am.
00:49:56Hey!
00:49:57You the coach?
00:49:59Who's asking?
00:50:00The name's Tree.
00:50:05Bob?
00:50:07Bob the mascot?
00:50:10Jerry?
00:50:10Yeah!
00:50:16Yeah.
00:50:18What happened to the Bismarck barbarians?
00:50:19Ah, I left not long after the owner fired you.
00:50:23He was a real a-hole.
00:50:24Oh, I know. I know.
00:50:27Still got your helmet though? You want to see it?
00:50:30You bet.
00:50:32It's about Bates.
00:50:34Bates Jameson?
00:50:35Pull up the chair.
00:50:40Oh, put it on.
00:50:47Yeah.
00:50:49Still fits like a glove.
00:50:51A really...
00:50:53weird glove.
00:50:54It took him two hours to remove that from his buttocks.
00:50:56Yeah, I probably shouldn't have left it on his chair.
00:50:59So what about the Jameson kid?
00:51:02He wants to try out for the team.
00:51:05He's kind of small.
00:51:10Why is it impossible to say no to you?
00:51:15Yeah!
00:51:18All right.
00:51:21Go ahead.
00:51:28Come on, Bates.
00:51:30He's a little nervous.
00:51:33Put one in the net there, Bates!
00:51:34Put one in the net there!
00:51:40He's a little nervous.
00:51:48How are you doing?
00:51:50Don't change me.
00:51:52Forget about him, okay?
00:51:54It's just you and me.
00:51:55Just like at home.
00:51:56Come on.
00:51:58Come on, let's go.
00:51:59Come on.
00:52:01Like we practiced!
00:52:03Come on!
00:52:05Oh, you got it.
00:52:06You got it.
00:52:07Take it around me.
00:52:07Take it around me.
00:52:08Take it around me.
00:52:08Take it around me.
00:52:09Take it around me.
00:52:09Take it around me.
00:52:10Take it around me.
00:52:10Put it in.
00:52:11Put it in the net.
00:52:12Come on.
00:52:13No fancy stuff.
00:52:14Put it in the net.
00:52:17Oh my!
00:52:17Yeah!
00:52:18I got one!
00:52:20Two points.
00:52:22Two points!
00:52:26Hey, Tess.
00:52:29Been shopping?
00:52:31Oh, what is that?
00:52:32A wristband?
00:52:33A pair of socks.
00:52:36Ma!
00:52:37Is it a bib?
00:52:38Hey, how are the tryouts?
00:52:40Great!
00:52:40Oh, good.
00:52:41I've made salmon skewers.
00:52:42Salmon?
00:52:43I'll tell Tess.
00:52:45What?
00:52:48Hey, Tess.
00:52:49Don't come in.
00:52:51Your mother made a barbecue.
00:52:53I'll be down in five.
00:53:03I'll be down in five.
00:53:05Would you like to join us, Bob?
00:53:09Please.
00:53:11We'd like you to.
00:53:16It's real nice of you to have made these salmon skewers,
00:53:19isn't it, kids?
00:53:21The green salad.
00:53:26That was delicious.
00:53:27I should have made hot dogs.
00:53:28No, no.
00:53:29Those are really good.
00:53:31Oh.
00:53:32Just a spot.
00:53:33Where?
00:53:33Right there.
00:53:37You know, Tess has drawn some amazing dress designs.
00:53:41You should see her school books.
00:53:42School books?
00:53:43Yeah, she draws in her school books.
00:53:46That's a liar!
00:53:49Such a stupid liar!
00:53:50Tess!
00:53:51It's not true!
00:53:53I hate you, Bob!
00:53:54Tess!
00:53:55Tess!
00:53:58I guess that's what it's like having family, rascal.
00:54:02Ups and downs.
00:54:05Just a second!
00:54:06Come in!
00:54:13Come in!
00:54:15Hi.
00:54:16I've spoken to Tess.
00:54:18She's shown me her drawings.
00:54:20You're right.
00:54:21They're amazing.
00:54:22So thank you for that.
00:54:28Something wrong?
00:54:31Don't take this the wrong way, Bob.
00:54:33You're the butler.
00:54:37You're not her father.
00:54:42I understand completely.
00:54:47Thanks.
00:54:51Good night, then.
00:54:52Good night.
00:55:03Why are we eating in here?
00:55:05More coffee, ma'am?
00:55:06Oh, I'll get it.
00:55:06Please, ma'am.
00:55:08Leave it to me.
00:55:15It's cool.
00:55:19New skirt?
00:55:20Yeah, I like it.
00:55:22No.
00:55:23It's like theirs.
00:55:24That's the point, stupid.
00:55:27So you coming to watch me get my nose first?
00:55:30Not on this planet.
00:55:32It's more after school, okay?
00:55:37Bye.
00:55:40You hanging with the clone Barbies now?
00:55:42Maybe when I'm in tighter, I'll put in a good word for you
00:55:45and you can hang with.
00:55:47I liked you because I thought you're an individual.
00:55:50Like me.
00:55:52Now you're just more, like, pathetic.
00:56:01I'm sorry.
00:56:07Stop!
00:56:09Excuse me.
00:56:13Kate, is the fruit washed?
00:56:14Judith, did you wash the fruit?
00:56:16It's pre-washed.
00:56:18Pre-washed?
00:56:19Pre-washed.
00:56:20Pre-washed?
00:56:25I do not want to lose this deal because one of my investors has the runs.
00:56:29The runs?
00:56:34Done.
00:56:36Done.
00:56:37Done.
00:56:55Rotate!
00:56:55Rotate!
00:56:57Huge!
00:56:57Rotate!
00:56:58Where is he?
00:57:00Where is he?
00:57:01Oh!
00:57:02Oh!
00:57:03Huge!
00:57:04Curly!
00:57:05Rat!
00:57:06Ratty!
00:57:07Don't do this.
00:57:08Hurry!
00:57:09They own a table!
00:57:10They just turn the table!
00:57:11Hold it!
00:57:12What are you doing, Bob?
00:57:13Don't move.
00:57:14What are you doing, Bob?
00:57:15Hold it.
00:57:16Oh!
00:57:17Oh!
00:57:18Oh!
00:57:19God!
00:57:20God!
00:57:21Oh!
00:57:22Oh!
00:57:23Oh!
00:57:24Oh!
00:57:25Oh!
00:57:26Oh!
00:57:27Oh!
00:57:28Oh!
00:57:29Oh, jeez.
00:57:33I guess this is urgent.
00:57:34Of course it's urgent.
00:57:36Stay calm, Anne.
00:57:37Do not explode.
00:57:38Too late.
00:57:39I've already exploded.
00:57:40I've dumped Jacques and I've kicked out the hamster.
00:57:42What hamster?
00:57:43Oh, keep up.
00:57:44Bob's taken over.
00:57:45He spends more time with my kids than...
00:57:47Than you do?
00:57:48Than buttling.
00:57:49It's exasperating.
00:57:50Have you fired him?
00:57:51I told him the hamster has to leave immediately,
00:57:53and I want this whole house disinfected from top to bottom.
00:57:56Oh, sounds like someone has a crush.
00:57:59Huh.
00:58:00I'm paying you for this.
00:58:01I'm not paying you for this.
00:58:02Don't you dare bill me for this call.
00:58:04Ridiculous.
00:58:13Oh, rascal.
00:58:15Who let you out?
00:58:17You know what, Tess?
00:58:18That was out of order.
00:58:19And if I was your father, you would be in so much trouble.
00:58:32You dig?
00:58:33It wasn't me.
00:58:34Yeah, whatever.
00:58:35Whatever.
00:58:38Whatever.
00:58:51Bates?
00:58:53Was it you?
00:58:57Oh, Bates, why?
00:58:58Come on.
00:58:59Talk to me, buddy.
00:59:00I didn't make the team.
00:59:03You didn't?
00:59:04Okay.
00:59:05That's a shame.
00:59:06I didn't make the team!
00:59:07You said I would!
00:59:08Well, I never said that.
00:59:09I said I would help.
00:59:10I said I would try.
00:59:11Well, I wasn't good enough.
00:59:13Not being good enough is life.
00:59:15But you'll find you're good at something.
00:59:16Everybody needs to be good at something.
00:59:18Everybody's good at something.
00:59:19What are you good at?
00:59:20I can catch grapes in my mouth.
00:59:48Mom?
00:59:49I put my school in your room.
00:59:55I didn't make the team.
00:59:58Okay.
00:59:59It doesn't matter, though.
01:00:03I'll find something to be good at.
01:00:18Hello, Mr. Butler.
01:00:34Bob here.
01:00:48You'll look after him?
01:00:54Of course.
01:00:55Can I make you a cup of tea?
01:00:57Ah.
01:00:58We have a regular little butler.
01:01:01What's your name, master?
01:01:04It's Bates.
01:01:06Just Bates.
01:01:08Ooh.
01:01:09You're gonna be just fine.
01:01:20It's like an initiation night.
01:01:28I'll start you a room.
01:01:30How's everything going?
01:01:39It's fine, thanks.
01:01:59Let's go.
01:02:00You got the stuff.
01:02:01No problem.
01:02:06Security!
01:02:07Ah!
01:02:08Ah!
01:02:09Let me go!
01:02:10You guys, wait!
01:02:16Purple.
01:02:17Purple for general.
01:02:18What?
01:02:19Purple for general.
01:02:21Yellow for kitchen.
01:02:22Blue for bathroom.
01:02:24Purple for general.
01:02:25Right.
01:02:31Hello?
01:02:32Hello?
01:02:33Hey, Bob!
01:02:36It's from you.
01:02:38Hello.
01:02:39Jameson Family Butler speaking.
01:02:44I'll be right there.
01:02:48I have to go.
01:02:49Will you be okay with Mr. Butler for a while?
01:02:51Sure.
01:02:54Come on, Bates.
01:02:56When we're finished here, I'll teach you how to polish silver by spitting on it.
01:03:02Cool!
01:03:03Yeah!
01:03:08Hey!
01:03:09Looking for Tess Jameson?
01:03:11Tough love.
01:03:12We give kids a dose of reality.
01:03:14Scare them straight before it's too late.
01:03:16This one's not like that.
01:03:17I'll see you one of those always looking for the best in people guys, huh?
01:03:34Don't worry about it.
01:03:36This will be our little secret.
01:03:40Bob, I'm sorry.
01:03:42About everything.
01:03:44I lied.
01:03:46About the luau.
01:03:47My mom's practically a vegetarian.
01:03:50I guess she is now.
01:03:51Come on.
01:03:52Let's go.
01:03:53Let's go.
01:04:09Oh, my God.
01:04:12Bates!
01:04:14I'm standing still, Mom.
01:04:16I can be a butler.
01:04:19Good evening, Miss Jameson.
01:04:23Tess.
01:04:32Tess, where have you been?
01:04:34I got hung up at Sophie's.
01:04:36Bob came and got me.
01:04:38In that?
01:04:40Both of you inside now!
01:04:46Bob, I have known for quite some time that you're not the world's greatest butler.
01:04:51Butler.
01:04:52But you at least seem to care for my kids.
01:04:55What kind of a man leaves an eight-year-old with a total stranger?
01:04:59Stranger?
01:05:01What am I saying?
01:05:02A psycho who thinks that standing on the roof of a house is good training?
01:05:08I'm sorry, Anne.
01:05:10Miss Jameson.
01:05:12I'm truly sorry, Miss Jameson.
01:05:17I have to let you go, Bob.
01:05:21I'll pay you to the end of the month, but...
01:05:24I want you to leave in the morning.
01:05:25I want you to leave in the morning.
01:05:26I want you to leave in the morning.
01:05:55And what is she, Sam forgets doing very well.
01:05:57What if he takes
01:06:10in the morning?
01:06:11No, Sam.
01:06:12I've never seen him in the morning like that noon, let her listen to her.
01:06:14No.
01:06:16You're a human being.
01:06:18Let's not get ourselves down, rascal.
01:06:40You keep going, and I'll keep going.
01:06:48To the end of A.T.B.J. Capital Management.
01:06:55Bye.
01:06:58Okay.
01:07:01I don't feel like celebrating.
01:07:05How are you at school?
01:07:20Lunch.
01:07:21What are you doing?
01:07:22Lunch.
01:07:23Welcome to my home.
01:07:25Nice.
01:07:26Well, my natural state is messy.
01:07:30I'm sorry you got fired.
01:07:32I just wanted the cool kids to like me.
01:07:35You know, when I was a kid, I used to like building model cars.
01:07:41There was always one piece that could never figure out where it was supposed to go.
01:07:50I always felt like that piece.
01:07:53I've spent my whole life trying to figure out where I fit.
01:07:56So when you figure it out, well, that's good.
01:08:03So you're saying it's good to shoplift if it helps you fit in?
01:08:09I worked for a New York designer once.
01:08:12You?
01:08:13I was just sewing, but it was better than a lot of jobs I've done.
01:08:18Here.
01:08:19Severance pay from the sweatshop.
01:08:23Bob.
01:08:25Can you teach me how to sew?
01:08:27Sorry for skipping out on you.
01:08:42Yeah, we were like so cowardly.
01:08:45This is Ace.
01:08:47Did you steal it?
01:08:48I made it.
01:08:49Shut up.
01:08:51I want one.
01:08:52Me too.
01:08:53Then wouldn't we be wearing the same top?
01:08:56Yeah.
01:08:57Like a club.
01:09:04Hey Soph.
01:09:15I had the best day.
01:09:16Great.
01:09:18He followed me.
01:09:20I want to be good at something.
01:09:22Of course you do.
01:09:26You ever seen one of these before?
01:09:29Check, check, check, check.
01:09:31Check, check.
01:09:32Check, check, check.
01:09:33Does it look alright?
01:09:34Wicked.
01:09:35I hope you're ready.
01:09:36Oh God.
01:09:37It's show time.
01:09:38Thank you for coming ladies and just waiting.
01:09:39I am pleased to present original creations by Tess.
01:09:48In a stunning outfit of Skirt and Top.
01:09:49Little chick.
01:09:50That's our Sophie.
01:09:51Chic.
01:09:52Not chick.
01:09:53Whatever.
01:09:54And next up, the twin lovey rose.
01:09:55Oh!
01:09:56Oh!
01:09:57Oh!
01:09:58Oh!
01:09:59Woo!
01:10:00Woo!
01:10:01And finally, the heroine of the hour.
01:10:03the one and one and only Miss Tass!
01:10:20And it's good to have me a cool girl
01:10:25Don't hide, no hiding
01:10:30Don't waste your time
01:10:34Be a cool girl
01:10:35Miss Jameson
01:10:53Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood
01:10:56I wasn't, obviously
01:11:00I came to see you
01:11:01Come on then
01:11:04Here we are
01:11:13She's very talented
01:11:19You've been so good with them
01:11:21But I know the truth
01:11:24I just helped her make a few dresses
01:11:27You got my little girl out of jail
01:11:30I got a phone call this morning
01:11:34From a detective, Alvarez
01:11:35He said that he wished that half the fathers that he met
01:11:40Were as loyal and determined as you
01:11:42Don't be too hard on her
01:11:45I think you know me better than that
01:11:47I do
01:11:48So what's next for you?
01:11:51I got a job
01:11:52One of those butler cruises
01:11:54Round the world in 365 days
01:11:58That's good for you
01:12:02When do you leave?
01:12:04First thing Saturday
01:12:05Oh, um, these are for tomorrow
01:12:12Oh, wow
01:12:15I love the trumpet
01:12:17Yeah, Jacques and I were supposed to go
01:12:20But, uh, I thought maybe you had someone special
01:12:22No
01:12:25Well, I guess we, um
01:12:31We each could take one
01:12:33Sure
01:12:34Okay, then
01:12:38Okay
01:12:41Okay, well, I'll see you there then
01:12:44Eight o'clock tomorrow
01:12:46Okay
01:12:47It's not a date
01:12:56It's a date
01:12:58It's not
01:12:58It is
01:12:59Oh
01:12:59It's not
01:13:00Date
01:13:01A date
01:13:01Just two people
01:13:03Two individual people
01:13:06Who happen to be going to the same place at the same time
01:13:09All I did was give Bob my extra ticket
01:13:11It's so
01:13:12A date
01:13:14Who's going on a date
01:13:16Mom
01:13:16With Bob
01:13:17Awesome
01:13:19Hello
01:13:28Hello, what are you doing at this moment?
01:13:40I'm taking care of my family
01:13:42I'm a single woman of a certain age, remember?
01:13:46Tonight, we have those tickets to the concert
01:13:49Bye, Jacques
01:13:50You will not use them
01:13:52You would not go alone
01:13:54Are you going alone?
01:13:57Are you jealous, my little Jacques?
01:14:00Who is he?
01:14:01Robert
01:14:01Robert
01:14:04Bob
01:14:06Bob
01:14:10Bob
01:14:10It's just a night out with a beautiful woman
01:14:14Who's stolen my heart
01:14:17Got a doorbell, you know
01:14:27We're here to help
01:14:32Let's see what you've got
01:14:33Could you have knocked a little more, maybe?
01:14:36Ugly
01:14:38Ew
01:14:39No
01:14:40Tragic
01:14:42Ew
01:14:43Gross
01:14:44No
01:14:45What's wrong with this?
01:14:49Kind of bored of suits, you know
01:14:50It's perfect
01:14:52What time is the concert?
01:14:54Doesn't take me long to get ready
01:14:56Maybe it should
01:14:57Oh, hello, sir
01:15:07Can I help you?
01:15:09This is the Cosmopolitan Butler School
01:15:12It is no mob
01:15:14It is closing?
01:15:17I'm afraid so
01:15:18Not enough filthy lucre to keep it alive
01:15:21So
01:15:23You train the great Bob
01:15:26What about Bob?
01:15:30Five day course
01:15:31Mon Dieu
01:15:33You're not a professional
01:15:35Just a sad British man
01:15:38With his sad little tradition
01:15:41So
01:15:42Now we have Bob the Liar
01:15:46Two
01:15:46If I may say so, sir
01:15:49Bob Tree
01:15:51Is a finer man than most
01:15:53And it has been an honor to know him
01:15:56Wow
01:16:03Mom, is that you?
01:16:07I'll take that as a compliment, I think
01:16:09Now don't stay up too late
01:16:11You sure it's not too much?
01:16:13You're a hottie
01:16:14That's a good thing, right?
01:16:15It's not too risque
01:16:16You've got it, flaunt it
01:16:18That's what I always say
01:16:19You better not say that
01:16:21Good night
01:16:39You're early
01:16:53Yes, I am
01:17:09Look
01:17:34Radiant
01:17:36You said it yourself.
01:17:39I have a very talented daughter.
01:18:01I couldn't believe it.
01:18:02Whoa, ticket please, sir.
01:18:03My ticket eats in there.
01:18:05Bub has it.
01:18:06Bob who?
01:18:07Uh, Bub, that's my ticket.
01:18:08Bub, Bub, Bub.
01:18:12Oh, God.
01:18:18Forget it.
01:18:19Oh, come on.
01:18:36It's like a dream, isn't it?
01:18:53You want to go backstage?
01:19:09I don't think we're allowed.
01:19:12All right.
01:19:12You're allowed, sis.
01:19:16Bob.
01:19:17Yeah.
01:19:19Hi, Bob.
01:19:20How you doing?
01:19:21Bob?
01:19:22Bob!
01:19:22Mama Clara.
01:19:24She fired me.
01:19:26You sure we can do this?
01:19:29Bob, is that you?
01:19:30Vince.
01:19:30How are you doing?
01:19:35Good.
01:19:35How are you?
01:19:36Good to see you.
01:19:37I want you to meet a friend of mine, Anne Jameson.
01:19:40Charmed.
01:19:40The pleasure's mine.
01:19:42You know, a few of us are going out for something to eat.
01:19:44Would you and your date like to, uh, come with us?
01:19:48Just not a date.
01:19:49Uh, we'd love to.
01:19:51Fantastic.
01:19:51I saw you didn't go back there.
01:19:54Who?
01:19:54Uh, Bob.
01:19:55Bob.
01:19:57Are you, are you deaf?
01:19:59Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:20:01Woo!
01:20:01Woo!
01:20:01Woo!
01:20:02Woo!
01:20:02Woo!
01:20:03Woo!
01:20:03Woo!
01:20:04Woo!
01:20:04Woo!
01:20:05Woo!
01:20:05Woo!
01:20:06Woo!
01:20:07Woo!
01:20:07Woo!
01:20:08Woo!
01:20:09Woo!
01:20:09Woo!
01:20:10Woo!
01:20:11Woo!
01:20:11Woo!
01:20:12Woo!
01:20:13Woo!
01:20:13Woo!
01:20:14Woo!
01:20:14You seem like you know everyone in the whole city.
01:20:17Yeah.
01:20:18Well, I've been fired a lot.
01:20:19Woo!
01:20:20Woo!
01:20:21Woo!
01:20:22Oh.
01:20:23It was a wonderful evening.
01:20:25Oh, Anne, your dress.
01:20:26Your dress.
01:20:27Oh!
01:20:27Your dress.
01:20:29Ah.
01:20:30Ah!
01:20:30Oh, jeez.
01:20:31Did you and Tess plan this?
01:20:33Yeah.
01:20:34I did teach her to sew.
01:20:36Huh?
01:20:37Live!
01:20:38But not for long.
01:20:40If I were unto gentlemen, I would kill you right now.
01:20:44Oh, Jacques.
01:20:45This isn't any of your business.
01:20:46It is my business.
01:20:47Put some clothes on.
01:20:49Don't you tell me what to do.
01:20:51I'll run around, start naked, if I want to.
01:20:56Anne, you have been fooled.
01:20:58He is not a proper butler.
01:21:00Maybe I should just go.
01:21:01Oh, you think you can just sneak away after what you did?
01:21:05You cannot take advantage of a middle-aged woman!
01:21:08I am not middle-aged.
01:21:11Am I?
01:21:13You're beautiful.
01:21:16And I'm going to hire Bob.
01:21:18To do what?
01:21:19He trained for five days!
01:21:21Five!
01:21:22Cinq!
01:21:23You were going to hire me?
01:21:24Oh, you really care for my children and they adore you.
01:21:28Anne, the situation is intolerable!
01:21:32No, the situation is fine.
01:21:33You are intolerable.
01:21:37It's finished.
01:21:40Au revoir!
01:21:41Au revoir!
01:21:42Good riddance!
01:21:43Talk to my Anne!
01:21:47So, would you come back to work?
01:21:49Look, the children miss you and, well, we all miss you.
01:21:55I can't.
01:21:56I don't understand.
01:21:58It wouldn't be appropriate.
01:21:59It wouldn't be appropriate.
01:21:59Are you going after him?
01:22:00He's leaving first thing in the morning.
01:22:01Are you going after him?
01:22:01He's leaving first thing in the morning.
01:22:05Yes, so.
01:22:13Are you going after him?
01:22:27get up mom
01:22:35Tess what are you doing
01:22:38why did you work this hard mom
01:22:40you're all alone
01:22:43mom he's part of our family
01:22:57stay here
01:23:26what happened
01:23:27that happened
01:23:32that's the butler cruise
01:23:37you mean Bob left
01:23:40what a mess
01:23:50real mess
01:23:52it's a real mess
01:23:56maybe he'll come back
01:24:00get tidy Ann
01:24:02tidy
01:24:04I'm sorry kids
01:24:16we lost Bob
01:24:17and it's all my fault
01:24:18but I want to thank you
01:24:21both
01:24:21I love you so much
01:24:24both of you
01:24:26please don't look at me like that
01:24:30they say
01:24:38they say that kids bounce back but
01:24:39bob bob
01:24:49bob bob bob
01:24:56hi
01:24:56I couldn't leave
01:25:00I thought I'd stay.
01:25:02Carwashing?
01:25:03Well, it's early on in the seas.
01:25:30Hey!
01:25:32This is a song about my desire to find work.
01:25:37My desire to find a family.
01:25:42For the food we are about to receive,
01:25:44and for my new dad, Bob, we thank you, God.
01:25:47Amen.
01:25:48Oh, honey, why don't I carve?
01:25:52That's a gentleman's job.
01:25:55No.
01:25:57Stop.
01:25:59Check it.
01:26:05Oh, again!
01:26:12Dinner is served.
01:26:15My name is Bob.
01:26:17I'm looking for a job.
01:26:18And I'm not getting fired.
01:26:19I'm living like a slob.
01:26:21Go through the phone book looking for work.
01:26:23I wanna be an astronaut like Captain Kirk.
01:26:26Flip burgers to make me a buck.
01:26:28Gonna burn down the rest.
01:26:29But it's just by luck.
01:26:30I got another occupation under my belt.
01:26:33Keeping a job for two weeks.
01:26:35I'm doing well like the time at the bar shop.
01:26:37Give it all I got.
01:26:38Chopped off and ears low.
01:26:40It got a lot.
01:26:41He never said a lot.
01:26:42He just screamed and got blood on my brand new blue jeans.
01:26:46Oh, golly gee, did it again.
01:26:48I talked to my hamster.
01:26:49My only friend.
01:26:51Go through the phone book again like a fool.
01:26:53And I see something.
01:26:54It's Butler school.
01:26:56My name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob.
01:26:58Bob.
01:26:59My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:27:01Bob.
01:27:02My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:27:03Bob.
01:27:04My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:27:05Bob.
01:27:06My name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob.
01:27:08Bob.
01:27:09My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:27:11Bob.
01:27:12My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:27:13Bob.
01:27:14My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:27:16For a job.
01:27:17I'm a motorbike.
01:27:18Gonna be a butler.
01:27:19Went to the school.
01:27:20It was like no other.
01:27:21They made me balance weights on my head.
01:27:23Yeah.
01:27:24They made me make a naked dude get dressed.
01:27:26He dressed me up in a suit and a vest.
01:27:28Took me to the rooftop for a test.
01:27:31Made me climb to the edge real slow.
01:27:33He looked at the ground and I got vertigo.
01:27:36I thought about a woman that I met the other day.
01:27:39And the vertigo stopped spinning.
01:27:40It went away.
01:27:41It felt real good.
01:27:42What can I say?
01:27:43I think I'm gonna be a butler.
01:27:45I'm on my way.
01:27:46Cause my name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob.
01:27:49Bob.
01:27:50My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:27:51Bob.
01:27:52My name is Bob.
01:27:53Not Bob.
01:27:54Just Bob.
01:27:55Just Bob.
01:27:56My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:27:57Bob.
01:27:58My name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob.
01:27:59Bob.
01:28:00My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:28:01Bob.
01:28:02My name is Bob and Bob and just Bob.
01:28:04My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:28:07Went to the place and I got a job on the spot.
01:28:10Living in the attic.
01:28:11I didn't need a lot.
01:28:12Take the dust and dust.
01:28:13I attack this.
01:28:14Drive the kids to basketball practice.
01:28:17I make dinner.
01:28:18Some kind of luau.
01:28:19I wanna make the lady say wow.
01:28:22When the lady comes home and the pig explodes.
01:28:24What?
01:28:25Messed up again.
01:28:26That's all she wrote.
01:28:27Pretty soon I'll be back on the street.
01:28:29What?
01:28:30Looking for a job with nothing to eat.
01:28:32Maybe I could be a rapper rapping on the beat.
01:28:35Get you on the dance floor.
01:28:36Moving your feet.
01:28:37Ha.
01:28:38My name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob.
01:28:39Bob.
01:28:40My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:28:42Bob.
01:28:43My name is Bob.
01:28:44Not Bob or just Bob.
01:28:45My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:28:47Bob.
01:28:48My name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob.
01:28:50Bob.
01:28:51Bob.
01:28:52My name is Bob.
01:28:53Not Bob or just Bob.
01:28:54My name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob.
01:28:55Bob.
01:28:56My name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob.
01:28:58Bob.
01:28:59My name is Bob and I need to get a job.
01:29:00Bob.
01:29:01And I need to get a job
01:29:02My name is Bob
01:29:03Not Bob or just Bob
01:29:05My name is Bob
01:29:06And I need to get a job
01:29:07My name is Bob
01:29:08And I'm looking like a slob
01:29:10My name is Bob
01:29:11And I need to get a job
01:29:12My name is Bob
01:29:14Not Bob or just Bob
01:29:15My name is Bob
01:29:16And I need to get a job
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1:29:34
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