- yesterday
Cos Mandem Are Trash is the pilot episode of new series, Last Year of Uni.
Mark is trying to figure out why he got dumped by his ex-girlfriend.
A couple of friends are doing their final year of uni together but will they all graduate?
Mark is trying to figure out why he got dumped by his ex-girlfriend.
A couple of friends are doing their final year of uni together but will they all graduate?
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Screams
00:04Screams
00:30Would you love me if I was a centipede?
00:46Don't be silly.
00:48What? So you're only with me because I've got breast and arse?
00:51What are you on about?
00:53I'm just a piece of meat to you, is that it?
00:54What are you literally on about?
01:00You should have seen your face.
01:04You think you're slick?
01:05Mm-hmm. Watch this.
01:08I'm not chasing after you, you know.
01:14I'm...
01:14Very funny, Melissa.
01:24Yo, I'm serious.
01:28Melissa!
01:30Melissa!
01:32Melissa!
01:33Melissa!
01:34No!
02:042 oz
02:07SofÃa
02:10Mezpan
02:181 oz
02:242 oz
02:261 oz
02:291 oz
02:31I'm coming home next weekend yeah no next weekend mom I'm staying on campus this weekend
02:50I'm not going to make the same mistakes I did last year I'm not going to fall behind again I'm in the library like four or five hours each day okay
03:06I'm not going to go to my house and I'm going to go to my house and I'll go to my house and I'll go to my house
03:14okay problem is that you're not going to fall behind me okay these two bye
03:19thanks Andrew yeah I'm not going to make breakfast
03:23I hear it, it's time, what's that, Mozy? yeah man she's grilling me about passing this year bro
03:28I hear it bro, I hear it how's it doing? bro I haven't even been to any of the lectures
03:35I swear right bro I've been busy man I've like bare stuff
03:43how's your disability? it's all right you know it's all right it's check the studies bro it's not it's not particularly hard is it so I was just chilling man you hear me?
03:52have you guys reached out to yet?
03:58nah bro when did you guys break up?
04:04three days ago? bro and she hasn't given you a reason for breaking up?
04:10nah bro that's the thing like she hasn't told me nothing bro
04:16I still can't know what I know though hey bro I hate all of that yeah just
04:34don't think about that too tough yeah just yeah
04:37don't think about that too tough yeah
04:41come on a minute
04:43hey you don't let a match there yeah yeah
04:45why these men are not shooting for us all
04:47that don't move man
04:49come on
04:51come on
04:53come on
05:19Man this is skills bro, pure skills
05:33I'm coming man, I'm coming, I'm coming
05:36What are you saying?
05:38Who's my name?
05:40AD
05:42You're getting your ass beat really boy
05:46Holy sky bro
05:48Wait I swear you and Melissa broke up
05:55Yeah bro, yeah
05:58Bruh how are you feeling man?
06:00Man's chilling bro, man's just chilling innit
06:05But what's the reason you guys broke up though?
06:07Bro, that's the thing like, she didn't give man a reason bro
06:11Like she just upped and left like, didn't even consider man's emotions and that bro
06:16Okay Steve harm me
06:19Shut up fam, you man just shut up for real
06:23You man shut up bro
06:25Aye but if she called you right now
06:28Like on what?
06:30Me have you tried to call her?
06:32Why would I call her bro, she's the one who broke up with me
06:35What should you say?
06:37Boy, I hate to say it man but she definitely don't want you no more bro
06:41Zero
06:42Quit man, quit while you're at it
06:43Zero
06:44Not you talking to me when you got braised to get gal and you still can't get gal
06:48Joke off
06:49Uh, she called you on the
06:51Hey Mark I wanna get back together
06:53You know, type of thing
06:54What would you do?
06:56Listen bro, yeah
06:57Ever since I broke up with her bro
07:00My line's been blingin' bro
07:02You know what I'm saying?
07:03My line's been blingin' bro
07:04She's gonna have to stand at the back of the line brethren
07:08Trust me
07:10Listen bro, trust me
07:12Don't gas him, no
07:14Aye who's got that?
07:15Oh yeah, I shared this over there bro
07:18Man's getting licked
07:20Let's play another game man
07:22I'm tired of winning so easily man
07:25This guy is shit
07:26He is so shit bro
07:28So shit, he's awful
07:29Look at
07:31Look at that
07:32Aye, is that something of
07:33You're on a VKD here but that doesn't count because he's shit a few people
07:35Yes I'm saying, I agree with you, he's shit
07:37Aye look
07:38We're getting laid here bro
07:39I have a trash bro
07:40If we stick on Madden or Tuca, I'm smoking everybody here
07:42Let's be sorry
07:43That's what I'm talking about
07:44Wow
07:45Your hands passed me the other controller innit?
07:47Aye you actually chat your shit bro
07:48You actually guys chat shit your shit bro
07:51I'm not even going to start it bro
07:53You're not even in a place right now for this shit
07:55Aye bro, slap it bro
07:57We said Madden yeah
07:58Yeah, he's still got anything
07:59Anything else down, smoking everybody here bro
08:01Bro
08:02In a queue bro
08:03Get in the queue bro
08:04Trust me, you'll hold corn whatever ways bro
08:07Whatever ways bro
08:082K Madden
08:09Fuck it bro
08:10Fuck it, find my simulation
08:11I've got you
08:12I'll lick you down bro
08:13You're finished
08:14Pause
08:15He said 2K, I'm farming simulation
08:16Yeah bro
08:17You're taking that from here
08:18Aye listen bro
08:19You're shit bro
08:20Let's play the game
08:21Stop around that
08:22I'm going to start around that
08:23Slap it on bro
08:24Slap it on bro
08:25Slap it on bro
08:26How are you letting this guy troll me
08:28We're letting this guy troll you
08:30You serious?
08:31This guy
08:33Aye
08:34That's a violation
08:35You're letting this guy troll you
08:36Man's out here so
08:37Man's holding 7 dollars
08:38Why are you pissed?
08:39Bro if I say one name right now
08:41Your whole mood is going to change
08:42I love bro
08:43I ain't living that deep
08:44You won't say a name bro
08:45Stick on the game before I start smoking
08:47Bro
08:48Slap on anything
08:49You're holding corn bro
08:50Listen bro
08:51You can chat bear
08:52But the proof isn't the pudding my guy
08:54Look at this guy
08:55He's getting mad
08:56Nothing to you
08:57But you let him
08:58Oh
08:59Oh
09:00Stop it
09:01Stop it
09:02Stop it
09:03Stop it
09:04Listen bro
09:05Listen bro
09:06Stop playing bro
09:07Bro stop playing bro
09:08Has it existed anymore bro
09:09Oh
09:10Stop
09:11Bro stop playing bro
09:12Stop
09:13Bro stop playing bro
09:14It's not even funny no more bro
09:15You just be chopping hoes
09:16No no no
09:17Just be chopping hoes bro
09:18No I just couldn't
09:19Look at my
09:24When I say men are trash
09:28Men are trash
09:29Yeah
09:30Deep it
09:31Imagine
09:32Nice clean skin Melissa
09:33Birthday coming up now
09:34She's all excited and everything
09:36So I called her
09:37Because obviously I was going to plan for her and I to do something
09:39But she's like
09:40Oh no
09:41Marky's planning to do something for us
09:43He's planning to take me to the Shard or whatever
09:45She sounded proper excited
09:47Yeah
09:48Tell me why the next day she's called me telling me one bag of nonsense
09:53Bro
09:54Firstly
09:55Let me tell you what she was wearing
09:57She had on this nice orange
09:59The cuckoo two piece
10:01You know the orange two piece
10:02The Instagram boutique
10:03With the the furry skirt
10:04You know what I'm talking about
10:05Yeah
10:06Yeah
10:07Yeah that place
10:08That place
10:09And um
10:10She's got a matching heels
10:11Her hair's done
10:12Her hair's slayed even
10:13Eyelashes freshly done
10:15Like
10:16She looked good
10:17Um
10:18I think it was my girl from Fleming that did it
10:20What's her name?
10:21Brianna
10:22What's that?
10:23Bianca
10:24Yeah, Bianca or whatever her name is
10:25Yeah
10:26So
10:27Tell me why
10:28She's called me around like maybe 5 o'clock
10:29Saying she's sitting at home
10:31She's waiting on Marky to come
10:32They're taking Uber there
10:34Cause obviously she's on campus
10:35She's coming from Uxbridge to London
10:37So it's a long journey
10:38I think she said she's going Aqua Kyoto
10:40Or something like that
10:42Did he drive?
10:43Huh?
10:44Did he drive to the restaurant?
10:46Bro
10:47Let me get to it please
10:48Yeah
10:49So
10:50I'm assuming he's taking Uber
10:51Because
10:52I don't know
10:53All of a sudden he wants to be a
10:54Responsible driver
10:55Or whatever
10:56I don't know
10:57Okay
10:58Um
10:59She's messaged me at 5.46 saying
11:02Oh we're walking to the station now
11:04Walking to the station
11:07Bro
11:08She's like
11:09Oh yeah we have to take train
11:11Because obviously Marky didn't have enough money in his account or something to book the Uber
11:15Bro
11:16Listen
11:17Did they get the Jubilee line?
11:21What Jubilee line?
11:22Bro
11:23I don't know how to get there
11:24However you get there
11:25Jubilee line or whatever
11:26All I know is trains nasty isn't it?
11:28True
11:29Right
11:30So
11:31I'm confused
11:32Like
11:33You're telling me he couldn't break out a little chain
11:36She couldn't be like
11:37Ayo Anthony
11:38Let me borrow 20 pound on the day
11:39I wanna
11:40You know
11:41Get Uber for my girl
11:42So we can go
11:43Out for her birthday
11:44I don't wanna embarrass her
11:45Like
11:46No
11:47He's really come with his broke self
11:48On the train
11:49Bro
11:50Wait
11:51Get to the worst part
11:52So
11:53After all of that now
11:54She's
11:55She got the happy birthday message on the plate
11:57You know
11:58The usual
11:59The candles come out
12:00The restaurant sings happy birthday
12:01And all of that
12:02Bill comes
12:03Boom
12:04Why is Marky Ifan and Button saying
12:07You already know
12:09Why is Marky Ifan and Button saying
12:11Oh babe
12:12Do you have any cash on you?
12:13Oh my god
12:14Like let me give it to you
12:15Cause otherwise I have to come out the restaurant
12:17Cause I don't have no mobile date
12:18I need to transfer
12:19Bro
12:20Bro
12:21At the end of the day
12:22She ended up paying for her whole birthday meal
12:24Woah
12:25No fucking way
12:26Melissa never told me about this
12:28Poor thing
12:29She's probably too embarrassed
12:31Poor thing
12:32She tells me these things obviously
12:33Cause we're tight like that
12:34But
12:35Nah it's mad
12:36Honestly
12:37Like
12:38Can you imagine?
12:39Paying for your birthday meal
12:41Hm
12:42What would you do if a man did that to you?
12:44Me?
12:45Listen
12:46I'd never be with a guy like that
12:48Do you get it?
12:49You know
12:50My ting ain't regular
12:51You hear me?
12:52Nah like
12:53I'd never be with a guy like that
12:54They know from the jump
12:55Like
12:56You know
12:57You need to be driving
12:58You need to have money
12:59You need to have your own car
13:01You can't be coming with me like
13:02Oh no uber
13:03Bro
13:04A lot of uberting
13:05You get it?
13:06Nah Lizzy I swear your ex was broken yet
13:08They're lending money fair time
13:09Okay but I was young then
13:11You know
13:12We elevate
13:13We're older now
13:14We do better in life
13:16I know my wife
13:17I know my wife
13:18I wish Mel knew her wife as well
13:19It's just sad
13:20Like imagine
13:21Your whole birthday meal
13:23And you're paying for it yourself
13:25Nah nah nah nah
13:26Anah
13:27Anah
13:28Anah
13:29Anah
13:30Anah
13:31Anah
13:32Anah
13:33Anah
13:34Anah
13:35Anah
13:36Anah
13:54Anah
13:57Hello
13:58Um
13:59Man's just writing this
14:00I wanna run something by you
14:01She
14:02okay so obviously man's writing about the discrepancy between men and women in society
14:09and i want to just ask you a question here do you believe yeah a woman's value is based on
14:17what she acquires during her lifetime or is it given to her from birth
14:22what do you mean okay basically if you think about it right if you ask the average woman
14:28what their favorite type of guy is right they'll probably describe a man of a certain height
14:34in a certain financial place yeah basically like it you know how it is man like you like you
14:41basically expect a man who's got things that he's like worked for do you know me yeah okay
14:49so do you think a girl's value is based on what she acquires too or is it just given to her the
14:57day she's born okay i see what you're saying um i would say it depends on how you see women
15:04if you look at them as more than just their beauty then you'll factor in their education
15:09their personality they have more than just their appearance if you see what i'm saying
15:13yeah yeah yeah okay yeah that's true that is very true yeah but one could argue that
15:21like girls see it too like okay let's like come on gino yeah let's actually keep it 100 like
15:27you know them galen remember them galen first year right like like come on there's plenty of
15:33examples that you and i both know where girls will be friends with each other just because they think
15:38each other's pretty but apart from that there's no personality no ratings nothing bro yeah that's true
15:45if you're talking about those women then i would say yeah okay okay so surely lower your tone
15:54percentage wise then percentage wise then more girls are friends with each other because of image
16:01and not their character yeah okay where are you going with this therefore if women judge each other
16:11based on what they see then surely a woman's value is always going to be based in what she looks like
16:21and never on who she is as a person mark do you want to square up
16:26hey look yeah man just trying to use my argument on like you obviously you're a girl
16:37yeah to see if man's like essay argument is bulletproof and that
16:41yeah i'm saying like make sure what i'm saying is like crystal perfect and clear
16:45that was it that was it bare attitude man yeah that's it yeah that's it innit man that's it
16:55anyways you on campus tomorrow i'm gonna do my hair in south tomorrow but i'll be around after
16:59all right all right all right all right all right say nothing shall i want on your back though yeah
17:05yeah all right say nothing to you love
17:09mm-hmm
17:21you
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