Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
Bonus Channel
  • 2 days ago
Transcript
00:00:00Ah, the golden years. Free, at last. To play. It was perfect.
00:00:09It's not the highest scoring. They don't have the biggest guys.
00:00:15Some people call it boring. But when you play beneath blue skies,
00:00:22it's perfect, perfect, perfect. The game that I am high on. Perfect, perfect, perfect. A game you can rely on.
00:00:36But then, then there was our team.
00:00:40You know, I got up this morning and I took a shower. I couldn't believe what I saw in the mirror.
00:00:45Well, it's a big mistake looking in the mirror, Mel.
00:00:47Serious? Look that small.
00:00:49Maybe you're standing in a draft.
00:00:51Maybe your gut just got bigger.
00:00:53Maybe it was teensy-weensy from the beginning, Mel.
00:00:57To be the same on every field, from here to Maine.
00:01:03To be so fair as All-American, that's for sure.
00:01:09Hey, come on, really. You guys ever notice that?
00:01:13Come to think of it, I ain't seen old Charlie in years.
00:01:17It's not the highest scoring. They don't have the biggest guys.
00:01:23Some people call it boring. But when you play it beneath blue skies,
00:01:31it's perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect.
00:01:35Perfect, perfect, perfect.
00:01:37Perfect, perfect, perfect.
00:01:39Perfect, perfect, perfect.
00:01:43Perfect, perfect, perfect.
00:01:47If it's any consolation, my balls are hanging down to my knees.
00:01:53Aw, jeez.
00:01:54One workage in a field, there was nothing so real
00:01:59as the feel of a bat in your hand.
00:02:03Brown old glove, blue skies above,
00:02:07sliding home into the sand.
00:02:10We played together in the 50s.
00:02:13Keep your eye on the ball, Steve.
00:02:14Yeah, try not to look like a butt face again.
00:02:16Shut up, garbage breath.
00:02:19Spaz, moron.
00:02:22Fifty years later, most of us were still playing ball together
00:02:26and we still didn't have uniforms
00:02:27and we were still clowning around having a good time.
00:02:31We like to think of ourselves as hanging loose.
00:02:34Unfortunately, we were the kings of loose.
00:02:42We called our team appropriately kids at heart.
00:02:45Hey, try not to fart when you're swinging this time.
00:02:49I gave you the breath.
00:02:50Butt piece.
00:02:55No batter, no batter, no batter, no batter, no batter.
00:02:58Nice swing, Alice.
00:03:01Jeez, felt the breeze all the way over here.
00:03:03Come on, Steve, you're killing us.
00:03:05I've never seen anything like it, guys.
00:03:07You're the worst team in the world.
00:03:08No, no, no, no, you stink.
00:03:11Yeah, that's what our little league coach said.
00:03:14That mean we don't go for pizza today, coach?
00:03:16Pizza?
00:03:17Yeah, he bought us water.
00:03:20Hey, who knew a whale could live out of water?
00:03:23Jeez, Bobby, before we all puke.
00:03:25Hey, I've got the right to get some sun.
00:03:27Yeah, well, leave some for us.
00:03:29Don't you know that's against the law?
00:03:31What law?
00:03:31The Ugly Law.
00:03:34The Ugly Law.
00:03:44Go back to sleep, Roy.
00:03:47Come on, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:03:55Great ups, Rose Cale. She was real impressed.
00:04:10Zip it, booger face. I want any crap out of you, I'll squeeze your head.
00:04:14Hey, don't get upset. There's a lot of people with no talent.
00:04:16Oh, then we're brave. We still like to play.
00:04:20Grab a ball. Don't be a chonky.
00:04:23Bruises we get, niches we get, this is gonna raise a lot.
00:04:30Yes, look at this beautiful day.
00:04:32I can't believe you love nature after all it's done to you.
00:04:36My wife forbids me to take my shirt off. She says she doesn't want to get nightmares.
00:04:40She likes your hair, Barry. It looks like it got it out of an ink bottle.
00:04:44More like somebody turned you upside down in a can of black shoe polish.
00:04:47Go ahead and laugh, but it's all natural. There's not a gray hair on my body.
00:04:51Really? You dyeing your body hair, too?
00:04:54Look, it's a stand-up comedian.
00:05:03I think we knew that taking life too seriously can be detrimental to your health.
00:05:07Maybe that's why we needed balls so much.
00:05:15Wait till we put in our teeth.
00:05:17There's nothing like baseball.
00:05:20A while away the time.
00:05:25There's nothing like baseball.
00:05:28It still amazes me how bad I would screw it all up.
00:05:31Here's that.
00:05:39Coffee okay, Mel?
00:05:41It's pretty strong.
00:05:43I usually don't drink coffee unless I can see the bottom of the cup.
00:05:46Well, I'm sorry about the coffee, Mel.
00:05:50So what caused these pavac attacks?
00:05:52What caused it?
00:05:54Losing the game. That's what caused it.
00:05:56You never cared before about losing.
00:05:59Don't get me wrong, I'm happy.
00:06:02You know that.
00:06:03I got my bats, my cleats, my glove.
00:06:07You know that old Mizuno I've had for 20 years?
00:06:10And I'm the happiest I've ever been.
00:06:14Except when I lose.
00:06:17Did you ever think, Mel, that maybe you don't know the difference between a hobby and a...
00:06:21and addiction?
00:06:23Well, I guess I do think about ball every waking minute.
00:06:28I don't even dream about it.
00:06:31And in my mind I go over and over every game.
00:06:34What I did wrong.
00:06:36How I could have played better.
00:06:38But when I play short and I turn to perfect double play
00:06:43or I get the winning hit, it's sheer...
00:06:46Perfection.
00:06:48You heard the one about...
00:06:50the one about Gandhi.
00:06:55When he died, they put his cells on a microscope.
00:06:59Guess what?
00:07:00I don't know.
00:07:01They all had smiley faces.
00:07:04Hey, you trying to tell a joke, Doc?
00:07:06You never laugh or be funny.
00:07:09You couldn't tell a joke if your life depended upon it.
00:07:15See you tomorrow, Doc.
00:07:16Better?
00:07:25Better?
00:07:26Better!
00:07:26Better!
00:07:26Better!
00:07:40Better! Better! Better! Better!
00:07:43That'd be me.
00:07:45Take your time, Jimmy. We'll just turn on the lights.
00:07:51Jimmy! Get on, baby!
00:08:10Guy at third robbed me.
00:08:12You gotta make a good hit to get robbed, Jimmy.
00:08:15That was more like stealing candy from a baby.
00:08:17I thought about you guys yesterday.
00:08:19You know where I was? I was at the zoo.
00:08:30Mel popped it up. We're out of here.
00:08:33Teach him to look in the mirror.
00:08:40Why don't you guys break down and buy some uniforms?
00:08:43Hey, we're just not a uniform kind of team, Jack.
00:08:47We don't need no snake in uniforms to know who we are.
00:08:50I forget who are we.
00:08:52It's your heart!
00:09:10You okay?
00:09:13Yeah, I'm okay.
00:09:14Maybe I'll go sit a while, huh?
00:09:16I'm okay.
00:09:17I'm staying in.
00:09:18See that bounce?
00:09:19There wasn't nothing normal about that bounce.
00:09:21That thing came right up on him.
00:09:23You never had a chance, man.
00:09:25Time for some payback, huh, Will?
00:09:27Give me a second to catch my breath.
00:09:29Full forfeit. Game is over.
00:09:46Come on, Mel. Go on in, Mel.
00:09:48Help or many.
00:09:50Are you sure you're alright, Mel?
00:09:51I'm fine, look.
00:09:52I'll see if he gets home okay.
00:09:53Oh.
00:09:54Oh.
00:09:55Oh.
00:09:56Oh.
00:09:57Oh.
00:09:58Oh.
00:09:59Oh.
00:10:00Oh.
00:10:01Oh.
00:10:02Oh.
00:10:03Oh.
00:10:04Oh.
00:10:05Oh.
00:10:06Oh.
00:10:07Oh.
00:10:08Oh.
00:10:09Oh.
00:10:10Oh.
00:10:11Oh.
00:10:12Oh.
00:10:13Oh.
00:10:14Oh.
00:10:15Oh.
00:10:16Oh.
00:10:17Oh.
00:10:18Oh.
00:10:19Oh.
00:10:20Yeah, but I hate the forfeit.
00:10:24I know. Sally Reed. We're playing on the next diamond.
00:10:28Oh. Will Fox.
00:10:32I coach the hot flashes.
00:10:36Oh, you're a woman's league. Fast pitch.
00:10:40Yeah. I'm the holler. But I have watched you play.
00:10:44I have to know. I really like your style. I mean, not so serious like those other guys, right?
00:10:48Anxious to game. You keep the bigger things more important.
00:10:52Sorry, I rattle on you.
00:10:56And now my team is taking the field, so I have to go.
00:11:00But, yeah, it's been a pleasure.
00:11:08Hello? Will.
00:11:10Manny. Oh, Manny? Hold it. Let me pull over.
00:11:14Well, I just drove Mel to the emergency.
00:11:18Why?
00:11:20Will, he keeled over on me.
00:11:22What?
00:11:24He struck out, Will. He struck out permanently.
00:11:28A good man's gone.
00:11:30He's gone away.
00:11:32He's gone away.
00:11:34He's gone away.
00:11:36Fuck.
00:11:38Where is she?
00:11:40Laura will be here.
00:11:42She had to pick up Mel.
00:11:44Mel was the best.
00:11:46A very good ball player.
00:11:48You know what we still need is shortstop.
00:11:50Give it a break here.
00:11:52Mel's very cold.
00:11:54Yeah, this is a memorial, see?
00:11:56Then we should be in a church like normal people.
00:11:58This is Mel's church.
00:12:00Here she is. Here comes Laura.
00:12:04You know, Mel had great lateral moves. Good D.
00:12:18Couldn't hit 500, though.
00:12:20Neither can you.
00:12:22I'm 11 for 21. What's that, wise guy?
00:12:25I'll tell you what it is.
00:12:26It's 523 and you can kiss my double wide.
00:12:34Laura.
00:12:36Sorry I'm late.
00:12:38It's no problem, Laura.
00:12:48Should we begin?
00:12:50But first,
00:12:52why don't we all take a moment of silence?
00:12:56If that's possible.
00:13:04Me?
00:13:06I'm having a traditional.
00:13:08You know, choir, casket, all the trimmings.
00:13:12You going down in the ground?
00:13:14That's where they put dead people, Barry.
00:13:16Yeah, they can't lay around up here.
00:13:20Must be dark inside a coffin.
00:13:22And cramped.
00:13:24I hear your nose touches the lid.
00:13:27In a box.
00:13:29What must that feel like?
00:13:31Well, then do what Mel did.
00:13:34Mel's not in a coffin.
00:13:36Poor guy, Mel.
00:13:38Doesn't seem possible.
00:13:42I wonder how much the dirt weighs on top of a casket.
00:13:47Mel and me, 163rd Street neighborhood.
00:13:50Kids together.
00:13:52Played ball all day.
00:13:54Saturdays, Sundays, four or five games.
00:13:57Even after dark.
00:13:59Our moms came looking for us.
00:14:01It was heaven.
00:14:07How much air you think is in one of them boxes?
00:14:0910 minutes?
00:14:1115 minutes?
00:14:12Alright.
00:14:15Very good.
00:14:18Laura.
00:14:27Oh my God!
00:14:28I got the old clothes.
00:14:30Look at my suit!
00:14:31Be careful with your staff.
00:14:32This illegal!
00:14:33Mel!
00:14:34Mel!
00:14:35I love you, Mel!
00:14:36Mel!
00:14:37I love you!
00:14:38I love you!
00:14:39I love you!
00:14:44Hey, Lenore.
00:14:45Even at a funeral, you look like a movie star.
00:14:47Really?
00:14:48Laura, I'm really sorry about Mel.
00:14:51Laura, I'm really sorry about Mel.
00:14:55Deep down, I think Mel liked it best here.
00:14:59He wanted this to be his final resting place.
00:15:03Oh, I found this in Mel's wallet.
00:15:07Mel said this guy's a Marilyn Monroe wet dream.
00:15:11Well, see you around, Will.
00:15:21You know, I know this isn't the time or the place, but we still need a shortstop.
00:15:29Yeah, I got a feeling about this season. You always got a feeling.
00:15:37You gonna have a beer? For Mel?
00:15:51Uh, hi. I'm looking for Larry Armstrong.
00:15:57Can I help you?
00:15:59Oh, yeah. I'm, uh, Will. Will Fox.
00:16:03You knew, uh, Mel Romeo?
00:16:05Yeah, I worked on Mel and Laura's cars.
00:16:09I was, uh, I was sad to hear about it.
00:16:131962-63.
00:16:17Shortstop, but you should have been Golden Glove.
00:16:19You hit 298, 17 home runs.
00:16:23Right?
00:16:25Right, until I blew up my knee.
00:16:27Well, Laura gave me your name.
00:16:29Mel carried it around in his wallet.
00:16:31He thought you were great.
00:16:37Really?
00:16:38Well, Mel played softball.
00:16:40By arc.
00:16:41Yeah, I played softball, too.
00:16:43You know, you got a good pitcher.
00:16:44The ball's almost as hard to hit as a sinking curve.
00:16:47Oh, yeah.
00:16:49Your, uh, team any good?
00:16:51Well, yeah.
00:16:53We're competitive.
00:16:54Competitive?
00:16:55Any championships you ever go all the way?
00:16:57Any attire fixed fast?
00:16:59You do it quick or not?
00:17:01Just take a minute.
00:17:03Fill this out.
00:17:04Mark down how you're gonna pay for it.
00:17:06Cash.
00:17:07Eh, I don't know about traveling.
00:17:10My wife, she, uh...
00:17:11Fix my fire or what?
00:17:12Well, uh, you know, I can wait.
00:17:14I heard you win a nice ring if you win.
00:17:16Well, yeah, uh, you know, it's a World Series ring.
00:17:20It's Vegas in October.
00:17:21Hey, you take care of my tire or what?
00:17:24I'm waiting here.
00:17:25Started the season already.
00:17:27Uh, how many games left?
00:17:28Look, I'm not gonna stand here and be ignored.
00:17:31Now, you know my business, that is fine.
00:17:34Goodyear is right up the street.
00:17:35Well, I mean, it's six.
00:17:37I mean, if we win them all.
00:17:39I'm outta here.
00:17:40You know, and I kinda tell everyone I know
00:17:42what a piss-poor business you run.
00:17:44Yeah, tell them.
00:17:45But you hit the road.
00:17:50Well, that looks like, uh, you lost the customer, Larry.
00:17:53I'm sorry.
00:17:54You know what I hate about this business?
00:17:56People think as you get a little grease on your hands,
00:17:59they have the right to treat you like a piece of dung.
00:18:01Well, not me, pal.
00:18:03See this finger?
00:18:04It was cut off.
00:18:06I picked it up and put it in my pocket.
00:18:08They sewed it back on.
00:18:11How's it work?
00:18:12It didn't stop me.
00:18:14Nothing stops me.
00:18:19My number is seven.
00:18:20It's like I wore in a big show.
00:18:22Seven?
00:18:24And I bat fourth in the lineup.
00:18:26I always bat fourth.
00:18:28Okay.
00:18:29I mean, you hit the long ball.
00:18:32Oh, yeah.
00:18:33I hate moonshots.
00:18:34Just wait.
00:18:36What's the name of your team?
00:18:38Kids at Heart.
00:18:41Kids at Heart.
00:18:42That's sappy.
00:18:43Bend over and pass the Vaseline kind of name.
00:18:46It says beat up on us.
00:18:49Wait.
00:18:52Okay, I got it.
00:18:53You see that movie Top Gun?
00:18:55Yeah.
00:18:57We're gonna be the big guns.
00:18:58Howitzers, cannons, heavy loads.
00:19:01Got it?
00:19:03Yeah.
00:19:04Got it.
00:19:05The big guns.
00:19:19Yeah.
00:19:20Woo!
00:19:21Woo-hoo!
00:19:22He's got a certain little something about it.
00:19:29Wake up.
00:19:30Yeah!
00:19:32Woo!
00:19:33Woo-hoo!
00:19:34He's got a certain little piece of my heart.
00:19:38Let me get this straight.
00:19:41You want to make an official application to enter the league?
00:19:44Yeah, right.
00:19:47You're already in the league, Will.
00:19:49Except now we're going to win tournaments and we're going to go to the World Series.
00:19:54Look, we've known each other for over 25 years and you always have been in competition.
00:20:02But you have never qualified once for the Senior World Series in October.
00:20:07Well, maybe as kids at heart we didn't want to win.
00:20:11But now we have big guns.
00:20:14Alright, I get it.
00:20:16You're picking up a ringer.
00:20:18What's his name?
00:20:20Here it is.
00:20:21Larry S. Armstrong?
00:20:25Major League.
00:20:28S is for Savage.
00:20:31You sure you want to do this?
00:20:33I mean, things are going to really change.
00:20:36Yeah.
00:20:37And I'm looking forward to that change.
00:20:40Alright.
00:20:41Well, get your team signatures and proof of age back to me, SAP.
00:20:50Always amazes me how much you guys want the World Series.
00:20:54Seems to bring out the best and the worst.
00:20:57For instance, you know, I shit-canned a 50s team this morning.
00:21:00Because the coach was offering $100 to each of them for every home run they hit.
00:21:06Can you get over what some guys will do for an $18 trophy?
00:21:09Yeah.
00:21:10And a ring.
00:21:11Now it's human nature, I guess.
00:21:14Yeah, well, I was a mailman for 10 years.
00:21:18And I quit.
00:21:20Because I had this dream about this senior softball league.
00:21:26I had two reasons for doing it.
00:21:31One, because I wanted to make a community.
00:21:34I mean, you know, society is held together by laws.
00:21:36I knew that.
00:21:37But a community needs things like compassion, fairness, spirit.
00:21:47Well, sure.
00:21:48I mean, that's great, Ruben.
00:21:51Well...
00:21:52I was really small for a long time.
00:21:55Now we've got lots of players worldwide.
00:21:58But no matter how big we get, we'll always be a community.
00:22:05Oh, you want to hear about my second reason one?
00:22:10Oh, yeah.
00:22:11Sure, Ruben.
00:22:12What was your second reason?
00:22:13Well, I finally realized that no matter how cute, all dogs bite mailmen.
00:22:22Good luck, Will.
00:22:23Thanks.
00:22:25Yeah.
00:22:26You're gonna need it.
00:22:27Get on the World Series.
00:22:28Nobody who breathes looks like that.
00:22:29Where'd you find him?
00:22:30A cryogenic freeze tank?
00:22:31I was right.
00:22:32He is a Marilyn Monroe Whitaker.
00:22:33I know him.
00:22:34Played with the Cardinals.
00:22:35Larry, the savage Armstrong.
00:22:36Yeah.
00:22:3762-63 hit 17 home runs till he blew out his knee.
00:22:38I know him.
00:22:39I know him.
00:22:40Played with the Cardinals.
00:22:42Larry, the savage Armstrong.
00:22:43Yeah.
00:22:4462-63 hit 17 home runs till he blew out his knee.
00:22:49Doesn't look like his knee bothers him.
00:22:50Geez.
00:22:51Will, you dead great.
00:22:52I know him.
00:22:55I know him.
00:22:56You're dead great.
00:22:57Oh, you're dead great.
00:22:59I know.
00:23:00I know you're dead.
00:23:02I know you're dead.
00:23:05I know you're dead.
00:23:07Well, you're dead great.
00:23:09Geez, well, you did great
00:23:13This guy's a young-looking 60. Let me ask you
00:23:17How old you saying he is because if that guy's over 60, I'm a freaking camel. Yeah, well
00:23:22You think he's legal. I saw his credit certificate guy must really take care of himself
00:23:28Got all his hair too. That's what counts man. I never looked like that at 60. He never looked like that at 20
00:23:39That's a nice one. Well, Larry's terrific, but he's only one guy. Yep. We're not superstars like Larry
00:23:47Yeah, and what's with the new team name big guns? I mean, what's the matter with kids at heart anyway? Oh, nothing. You want to remain losers
00:23:56Look guys. I don't know about you, but I'm going to the World Series. I already bought the uniforms
00:24:02Now anybody that wants out they can let me know
00:24:05But if you're staying you're gonna have to grow up and that means no more juvenile insults
00:24:09No more potty talk. No more talking around. I want a hundred and twenty percent dedication out of every one of you, okay?
00:24:18Balls in your court
00:24:21What got into him?
00:24:24Hey everybody
00:24:26I've already memorized your name, so there's no need for introductions
00:24:30Will tell you we're going to the World Series? Yeah, I did but Barry's we're gonna do it mark my words
00:24:36Now here's something for all of you. They're patches. You wear them it gives you extra endurance and strength
00:24:45What is it drugs steroids
00:24:48Nah amino acids
00:24:50We use them all the time in the big show. What's the show? It's the big league Roy right Larry? You've got it Steve
00:24:58Put your patches on we're going all the way to Las Vegas
00:25:01Las Vegas
00:25:11He's got a certain little something about her
00:25:13She's got a certain little something about her.
00:25:20She's got a certain little piece of my heart.
00:25:28She got me tingling and I can't stop thinking about her.
00:25:35She had me falling for her out from the start.
00:25:42I will find a sinker and I can't see her stop.
00:25:49I really got a cooler but I know that I'm not.
00:25:53She's dark, dead and gorgeous and I'm ready to talk.
00:25:57I'm a mess. I'm in love more or less.
00:26:02She's really popular with all of the fellas.
00:26:10Hey guys, got you matches.
00:26:13She causes whiplash wherever she goes.
00:26:19She got a smile that will make her own in these little trailers.
00:26:27Yes.
00:26:30All right.
00:26:33You guys are killer.
00:26:39Right.
00:26:41You playing next door again?
00:26:43Yeah, looks like you've been recruiting.
00:26:45I hear you're going for it.
00:26:46Well, you heard right.
00:26:48All the way.
00:26:49Is that what the team wants?
00:26:51Well, sure.
00:26:52Why not?
00:26:53Oh, no reason.
00:26:54No what?
00:26:55No.
00:26:56Okay, look.
00:26:57I'm probably just imagining things but I don't know.
00:27:00Y'all feel different.
00:27:01Well, sure.
00:27:02It's the uniforms.
00:27:03Yeah.
00:27:04Yeah.
00:27:05The uniforms.
00:27:06Bye.
00:27:07Big guns.
00:27:08Woo-hoo.
00:27:09Bad.
00:27:10Bye.
00:27:11Larry, what are we doing down here?
00:27:24Trust me, this guy's the best.
00:27:29He got stuff you can't even believe.
00:27:32What stuff?
00:27:57June?
00:27:58Here it is.
00:27:59It's got a powder shell technology developed by the US military.
00:28:12How'd you get your hands on that stuff?
00:28:14Army had a surplus.
00:28:16Bottom line, it's increased performance.
00:28:19They bought everything they had.
00:28:21These babies are pure gold.
00:28:23Give you at least a 130 mile per hour ball and an extra 55 feet fly.
00:28:27Wow.
00:28:28Who are you?
00:28:29Best bat doctor in the world.
00:28:30What do you need?
00:28:31End loading?
00:28:32Shaving inside for extra flex?
00:28:33Repainting of a banned high performer to make it look legal?
00:28:34And these bats are legal?
00:28:35Until they ban them.
00:28:36Right now, Zuma's the hottest bat that's just barely allowed.
00:28:40I haven't touched him.
00:28:41Honest.
00:28:42What are you talking about?
00:28:43They're used.
00:28:44Hey, I'm a professional.
00:28:45I aged it, especially for you.
00:28:46You don't want a bat to look brand new.
00:28:47Oh.
00:28:48How much are they?
00:28:49For my buddy Larry here?
00:28:50Bad.
00:28:51300.
00:28:52What, each?
00:28:53Each.
00:28:54We'll take a dozen.
00:28:55A dozen?
00:28:56If you want to win.
00:28:57Oh, look.
00:28:58Yeah.
00:28:59You want to win.
00:29:00What are you talking about?
00:29:01What are you talking about?
00:29:02They're, they're used.
00:29:03Hey, I'm a professional.
00:29:04I aged it, especially for you.
00:29:06You don't want a bat to look brand new.
00:29:08Oh.
00:29:09How much are they?
00:29:10For my buddy Larry here?
00:29:12Bad.
00:29:13300.
00:29:15What? Each?
00:29:17Each.
00:29:19We'll take a dozen.
00:29:21A dozen?
00:29:23If you want to win.
00:29:25Bam!
00:29:27God!
00:29:29Like you said,
00:29:31a dozen.
00:29:43These are the guys that hurt Mel.
00:29:45Yeah, payback time.
00:29:47Come on.
00:29:49Bring it up.
00:29:51Win him right on third.
00:29:53Will, come on.
00:29:55Go, go, go.
00:29:57They shouldn't have done that to Mel.
00:29:59Let's go.
00:30:01Let's go.
00:30:03Let's go.
00:30:05Let's go.
00:30:07They shouldn't have done that to Mel.
00:30:09Let's go.
00:30:11Let's go.
00:30:13First win, baby.
00:30:15First win.
00:30:21You all right, Stanley?
00:30:23You did that on purpose?
00:30:27You know, your team had it coming.
00:30:29Well, you really don't think
00:30:31that you hit the ball to Mel just to hurt him, do you?
00:30:35I don't know.
00:30:37But the guys think you did.
00:30:39And that's all that counts.
00:30:53Play and you win or play and you lose.
00:30:57We just want to shake our blues.
00:31:01Play in the game.
00:31:03That's the eye of some dame.
00:31:05She's gonna give you the news.
00:31:09Play it to win or play it to lose.
00:31:13The blues.
00:31:15The blues.
00:31:17Sometimes you hit.
00:31:19And sometimes you miss.
00:31:21Maybe the dame will give you a kiss.
00:31:25Sometimes you gotta.
00:31:27Sometimes you don't.
00:31:29You gotta call it either way.
00:31:31Play it to win or play it to lose.
00:31:33The blues.
00:31:35The blues.
00:31:37The blues.
00:31:39The blues.
00:31:41The blues.
00:31:43Get the ball out or lay down a bunt.
00:31:47You gotta swing early.
00:31:49Meet it in town.
00:31:51Give her a smile.
00:31:53Then give her your cap.
00:31:55Maybe the dame will give you a slap.
00:31:59Play it to win or play it to lose.
00:32:03The blues.
00:32:05The blues.
00:32:07The blues.
00:32:09The blues.
00:32:10The blues.
00:32:12That you can strap your cleats on.
00:32:14It's gonna be a fine, fine day.
00:32:17Play it to win
00:32:19or play it to lose.
00:32:21The blues.
00:32:22The blues.
00:32:24Play it to win or play it to lose.
00:32:29The blues.
00:32:35Oh yeah.
00:32:37are you sure Bobby my bag will I can't take this kind of place doctor says I'm
00:32:48out sure that's all sure what else would it be you know some guys got bad backs
00:32:59I can be the same without you it hasn't been the same for a while will
00:33:06goodbye
00:33:09I'm gonna go to church tomorrow honey do you want to come
00:33:34I got a big game in Tulare tomorrow
00:33:37dad did you know what Friday was I told you it wasn't important but it is important mom
00:33:48and he forgot what look at him he still doesn't know what Friday what was Friday your anniversary
00:33:56which you forgot I was in Bakersfield he was at a game sweetie it was a playoff game you know I
00:34:01couldn't miss that it was your 20th anniversary oh Chase sweetheart I'm sorry I'll take you out
00:34:07to dinner I'll make it up to you I promise you know you're not the same anymore you're never home
00:34:13I gotta go
00:34:16I can't believe who the Dodgers have traded away god damn it do not use that expression what what expression
00:34:40do you ever use that expression again you're gone you understand all right all right Will Jesus just slipped out Will says that God's last name is not damn I agree with that I mean I don't agree with things Will always does for instance the way he runs this team
00:35:06come on Barry let's go now your time to shine let's go do something
00:35:20hey leave him alone give him some respect he just hit a triple hey not
00:35:35hey not funny definitely not funny you sound like a rude get a grip
00:35:52how's it going guys how's everyone doing
00:35:54do you guys got anything to drink yet has anyone ever helped you no no menus no nothing
00:35:59uh first week actually yeah it's a little rough but as you guys can see it's really busy right now
00:36:06so I walk up to the car see and she rolls down the window and guess what she's got her skirt hiked up so high
00:36:18well she's got everything south of the border exposed I mean I'm looking from Nebraska to Mexico
00:36:26I really don't like your mouth Josh not here come on you're in a lawsuit
00:36:33he's not worth it come on let's just go
00:36:45whoo what ate him
00:36:47I saw that guy on TV he's a professional wrestler professionals don't fight amateurs
00:36:54they got too much to lose
00:36:56Larry are you trying to make a point that we're amateurs
00:37:01Will let it go let it go
00:37:03no
00:37:04what I'm saying is that we will not get to the real series unless we make some changes
00:37:09like losing some players like we did that Bobby Morelli
00:37:15look Bobby Morelli bowed out because of his back everybody knows that
00:37:19whatever he should have been gone long ago
00:37:22and there's some others who need to bow out too
00:37:24just who do you have in mind Larry
00:37:26they know who they are
00:37:28anybody not hitting 600 or better is not tournament material end of story
00:37:34guess that'd be me for one Larry
00:37:37hey no hard feelings guys
00:37:40Jimmy and Rory averaging an inning of outs per game
00:37:44we're entering the playoffs
00:37:47I've seen the level of players we're going to face
00:37:51and I say that we started this together and we're going to finish it together
00:37:55hey Will this is not personal
00:37:58if you want to win we need to make changes
00:38:01I think we're doing all right
00:38:04I got two buddies
00:38:06Andy Dupar
00:38:09Randy Adams
00:38:10they both made Triple A got great power
00:38:13you're going to love these guys
00:38:15it's not going to work Larry because they were not rostered when we qualified
00:38:19I got that figured out
00:38:21Bobby and Mel are gone
00:38:24we're bringing them in under the medical injury clause
00:38:26there are two openings
00:38:28what do you say about that Will?
00:38:30I say that we're not out to win at all costs here
00:38:35well maybe we need to have a new manager
00:38:40you know someone who's not afraid of a little competition
00:38:46maybe Larry's right
00:38:49we're going to face tougher teams
00:38:51yeah maybe we ought to shift gears here Will
00:38:54after all we got a real shot
00:38:56this is
00:38:58this is
00:38:59is that what you guys want?
00:39:01you said you wanted to go to the world series Will
00:39:04alright
00:39:06I won't stop you
00:39:10I won't stop you
00:39:23Andy it's Larry
00:39:25it's a go
00:39:27call Randy you're both on
00:39:29both on
00:39:30yeah
00:39:37that's what I'm talking about
00:39:38that's what I'm talking about
00:39:39you want it
00:39:40you need it
00:39:41you go out and take it
00:39:43big guns gonna shoot you down
00:39:47try and get it in my way
00:39:49smash it and break it big guns gonna shoot you down
00:39:51gun sharp
00:39:53you know you're in trouble
00:39:58you're right in our sights now
00:40:00big guns gonna shoot you down
00:40:06you know you're in trouble
00:40:07but you got your lines now
00:40:09well...
00:40:11I don't ever bet sixth
00:40:14Is this some kind of mistake here?
00:40:16I always bet fifth.
00:40:18Well, there's the man to talk to, Mac.
00:40:25He's not the manager I am, and I say you bet six today.
00:40:29Randy's three, I bet four, Randy's five.
00:40:33I'm out of here. Nobody bets me sixth.
00:40:37Quit whining.
00:40:39You bet where I tell you to bet. I run this team.
00:40:41You don't know nothing about Paul.
00:40:43Nobody bets me sixth.
00:40:45Whoa!
00:40:47Now Big Gun's gonna shoot you down.
00:40:51You know you're in trouble.
00:40:53We'll shoot out your lights now.
00:40:55Big Gun's gonna shoot you down.
00:40:59Big Gun's gonna come after you.
00:41:03Big Gun's, we know what to do with our Big Gun's.
00:41:09300 dollars.
00:41:11300 dollars.
00:41:13The Fall Park…
00:41:37Go for it, Randy! Run!
00:41:39I can't. I think my leg fell off.
00:41:42Yeah, he's drinking again.
00:41:44Yeah, like a tuna.
00:41:56I don't know how you drink that stuff.
00:41:58I still get up and play in the morning.
00:42:01Well, you know, it's nothing like a little vodka
00:42:05to cleanse the palate.
00:42:08Yeah, well, you better show up ready to play tomorrow.
00:42:11When was I ever unable to play?
00:42:14Today.
00:42:17Oh, yeah.
00:42:18Yeah, but it was hot.
00:42:20I mean, it was Death Valley hot, man.
00:42:22120 freaking degrees in the shade.
00:42:25I had heat exhaustion.
00:42:27And besides, I left a leg back there.
00:42:30Yeah, puked all over the field.
00:42:32They had to delay the game to clean it up.
00:42:35Hey, Larry.
00:42:38Hey, Larry.
00:42:39Want a beer?
00:42:40No, thanks, Rick.
00:42:41Never drank.
00:42:42Listen, Steve.
00:42:44You were swinging for the fence today.
00:42:48Just relax.
00:42:49Well, I was batting last.
00:42:51I guess I'm just trying too hard.
00:42:53Well, just keep trying to get past first base.
00:42:56Yeah.
00:42:57You did good, Stevie.
00:42:58Two for four.
00:42:59Hey, Larry kind of did okay.
00:43:03Four for four out there today?
00:43:05Keep trying, guy.
00:43:07Cream rises to the top.
00:43:10Right, Will?
00:43:11You know, I, uh, admire the fact that you're still hanging around after what happened to you.
00:43:21Well, I started this team, Larry, so I'd like my ring, too.
00:43:26Yeah.
00:43:28Hi, honey buns.
00:43:29Gonna catch some sun.
00:43:30Hello, my back.
00:43:31Sir.
00:43:32Got time?
00:43:33Don't get it in my hair.
00:43:34Hmm.
00:43:35Gotta say it again, Steve.
00:43:36You're one lucky guy.
00:43:37Drool attracts flies.
00:43:38You gotta admit, she's something to look at.
00:43:41She's pretty smart too.
00:43:42Hey, teammates go friends are bad business Rick.
00:43:43Don't worry about me, Coach.
00:43:56I'm here to play.
00:43:57That's what we're worried about.
00:43:58Okay.
00:44:07That's what we're worried about.
00:44:11I have to go to the little girls' room.
00:44:13Right over there, honey.
00:44:16Maybe I should wait.
00:44:18No, I have to go now.
00:44:37Where are you going, toad eyes?
00:44:39Hey, I gotta take a leak.
00:44:41You wanna come watch me mirror head?
00:44:48Hey, Will, we're going for ice cream.
00:44:50You wanna come along?
00:44:56Maybe some other time.
00:45:07Steve's suspicious.
00:45:09He should be.
00:45:32Look at those tight little tushies.
00:45:35Hot, what a field of hot butts.
00:45:38You play with hot flashes at Sally's team?
00:45:42You know Sally?
00:45:43Well, yeah, we met.
00:45:45I'm Will Fox.
00:45:48Oh, so you're Fox.
00:45:52Yeah.
00:45:55Is Sally around?
00:45:56Around?
00:45:57Yeah, Sally's around.
00:45:59See ya, Fox.
00:46:01Later.
00:46:05Sally.
00:46:06Hi, Will.
00:46:07You look great.
00:46:08You know what?
00:46:09Word gets out.
00:46:10About what?
00:46:11Can we talk?
00:46:12So, how is it?
00:46:13Will you join me?
00:46:14I don't drink.
00:46:15Never.
00:46:16Not in four years.
00:46:17I was drunk when Elizabeth was killed.
00:46:18So you blame yourself.
00:46:19I don't drink.
00:46:20Never.
00:46:22Not in four years.
00:46:23I was drunk when Elizabeth was killed.
00:46:25So, how is it?
00:46:32Will you blame yourself?
00:46:33I don't drink.
00:46:34Never?
00:46:35Not in four years.
00:46:36I was drunk when Elizabeth was killed.
00:46:40So you blame yourself?
00:46:46Elizabeth wanted to drive, and I wouldn't let her.
00:46:48letter. Just something I have to live with myself. Live? You're like the walking dead.
00:46:57Now, listen, Will, I'm sorry, but what I have to tell you has no spin on it.
00:47:06What? You have underage players on your team. You're sure? No, but it's enough of a complaint
00:47:18from the other teams that the senior softball administration is investigating. So, no, listen,
00:47:24bottom line here, Will, is that the other coaches think you play some dirty ball.
00:47:28Okay, I admit that we get a little rowdy. I mean, I'm surprised at it myself. I mean,
00:47:32all these years we're playing together and it just got too intense.
00:47:39That's bullshit. What's happening to you, Will? You can't want to win this game.
00:47:47You can't want to win this bad. This isn't about winning. I got a chance to feel good about
00:47:54myself again. And I'm gonna take it. But this isn't just about you, Will. You have a whole
00:48:02team to think about. I'm no longer the coach. I got fired. That also means you forgot what's
00:48:14going on, right? You know what? I guess I had you figured out wrong. Goodbye, Will.
00:48:21Wait a minute. Sally?
00:48:23Hey, Larry, where's Randy and Randy now that we need them? Don't worry about it. Like I told you,
00:48:30you're out of town on business. Oh, business? Yeah, business. Win it for us! Come on, Larry, we're free down.
00:48:37Let's go do it now. We need you. Come on. Focus.
00:48:39Randy, Randy, Randy. Hit home.
00:48:40Go, Randy. Hit home.
00:48:41Come on.
00:48:44Come on.
00:48:45Hey, Larry. Where's Randy and Randy now that we need them?
00:48:46Larry, where's Randy and Randy now that we need them?
00:48:48Don't worry about it. Like I told you, you're out of town on business.
00:48:53Oh, business? Yeah, business.
00:48:55Win it for us!
00:48:57Come on, Larry. We're free down. Let's go. Do it now. We need you. Come on. Focus.
00:49:03Come on, come on!
00:49:09Hey Tom, you're on deck, go swing!
00:49:12No need to after Barry hits this one.
00:49:15Yeah, I wouldn't count on it.
00:49:25Larry battered him eight, right where we needed him.
00:49:28Oh yeah, Larry and his crystal ball, huh?
00:49:33Come on, Barry, you can do it, you can do it!
00:49:45Hold it, Barry, come on, move it, move it!
00:49:48Gotta be a perfect throw, let's go, go, go!
00:49:59Yeah, not bad for in here.
00:50:01Error? Who stored that?
00:50:04In-park home run, Barry, and it was beautiful.
00:50:06I don't think so.
00:50:07The Wright Center filled the guard with a glove on it.
00:50:09It was a home run!
00:50:10I rule we put in a book as an error, all the way.
00:50:13Looks like it's the big E, Barry.
00:50:15Don't worry about it, Barry.
00:50:17Ever since Randy and Andy joined this team,
00:50:19it was about time one of us did something.
00:50:21They don't even know us anymore.
00:50:23We used to have generous hearts.
00:50:26Yeah, it doesn't matter, you did it!
00:50:28Come on, we won, we did it!
00:50:31Guys, let's focus on a World Series.
00:50:33You played a great game, we're going to Las Vegas.
00:50:36Let's do the walk, they're waiting.
00:50:38I know what you did behind my back, you turd!
00:50:44If you can't control your woman, it's not my fault.
00:50:47It's not my fault.
00:51:17Hey guys, we made it!
00:51:18We're here!
00:51:19We're in the World Series!
00:51:20Yeah!
00:51:21I can't believe we did this!
00:51:22We didn't do this.
00:51:23I better go check us in.
00:51:47All right, number, number 24, 24.
00:52:03Fox!
00:52:04Hey!
00:52:06Hey John!
00:52:07You know, you're giving Senior Softball a bad name here.
00:52:10What is that supposed to mean?
00:52:12Oh, I don't know.
00:52:13Suppose you tell me.
00:52:14you tell me. You know, you're a, you're a sore loser, John. You've always been. True, I don't like
00:52:21to lose, but other teams play decent. They're gentlemen. They don't cheat. What's that supposed
00:52:27to mean? As if you didn't know. This is it, where they play the World Series. Those fences are blue
00:52:40monsters. That diamond, it's huge, too. That's because it's a freaking baseball park. You're
00:52:47right. Look at those fences. They're over 400 feet. No problem. Not for you, maybe. Are
00:52:52you sure this is where we're going to play? They use it every year for the Senior World
00:52:56Series. As sacred as Yankee Stadium. You've been here before, Larry? In my dreams, Andy.
00:53:03My dreams. Now I'm here. I just think we're going to win it. This place is for champions.
00:53:12Okay, it's special. Look, we start tomorrow. It's going to be great. We drew the Desert
00:53:18Storm first. Were they the current world champions? They were. Yeah. Hey, maestro, where's your dish?
00:53:27Not here. You want to know why? Yeah, why? We split up, you backstabbing piece
00:53:34of slime scum. Hey, maybe I'd just like to give a girl a little satisfaction. It's not getting
00:53:38in there. That's good. Let them go at it. Tastes blood. Just like in a big show. Get some rest.
00:53:53I'll meet you at 8 a.m. sharp.
00:54:02What are you looking surprised for?
00:54:05You made this mess.
00:54:23I'll meet you at 8 a.m. sharp.
00:54:27How to do this.
00:54:30What are you looking for?
00:54:34I'll meet you at 9 a.m. sharp.
00:54:38What are you looking for?
00:54:41I'm looking for you at 9 a.m. sharp.
00:54:46How do I look forward to this?
00:54:47Hey, you too, huh, Will?
00:55:09Like the older I get, the more I gotta go.
00:55:12I need to know if we're carrying legal players, Larry.
00:55:14You saw my birth certificate, it says I'm 60, I can play at 60, can't I?
00:55:19Would you doctor your birth certificate, Larry?
00:55:21Watch it, Will. That's a cheap shot.
00:55:24Answer me. Answer me.
00:55:27The answer's no.
00:55:30Hello?
00:55:33People use our seats anymore.
00:55:44What about you, Randy and Randy? They're legal too.
00:55:48Alright, that's enough.
00:55:49You want to stick around and play minor, remember.
00:55:52You're not writing this team in here.
00:55:53You're not gonna believe what I'm hearing here.
00:55:55You gotta hold on.
00:55:57I asked you a question.
00:55:58What about Andy and Randy?
00:56:00What about...
00:56:01Look, I know they're one of your answers.
00:56:03Did you falsify their documents?
00:56:05We'll drop them.
00:56:06But we'll keep on playing.
00:56:07I need this.
00:56:10Stop being a quitter.
00:56:14I won't know anything, Larry.
00:56:2144 or 47, what's it to you?
00:56:24We had it, you had it.
00:56:36Why, why?
00:56:40You wouldn't understand.
00:56:42You didn't need this.
00:56:45You need to win like I did.
00:56:47I was a can't-miss first round draft choice.
00:56:51My rookie year, I had the highest batting average, the most home runs, most runs batted in, the best felting percentage, and slugging percentage. And I did win the rookie of year award. Some guy from the Dominican Republic with an infectious kiss-ass smile did. I was robbed.
00:57:14But you know, I had a son, and he died. His name was Robert. I was supposed to pick him up from school, and I was late. I feel responsible. It's eating me.
00:57:40My wife's going to leave me. She says I don't have any feeling anymore, that I can't, just can't reach out. She's scared of me. She says that the anger that I have inside me that's boiling makes her scared. She's scared.
00:58:10I'm gone. I'm sinking like in quicksand.
00:58:17Will, this was my last chance to win something. I need this.
00:58:28I never got to be what I knew I could have been.
00:58:41Come on.
00:58:42Will!
00:58:56Will!
00:58:57Can you tell anybody what I said or did here today?
00:59:00I'll pound you in the ground like a spike.
00:59:04You're a quitter. You're a loser. You're nothing. You came after me, Will.
00:59:11Will!
00:59:23Oh, dear God.
00:59:25Amen.
00:59:55He will.
01:00:04Beginning of another World Series.
01:00:09Still the same old paperwork.
01:00:15John said you called him.
01:00:21Said you got something to tell us.
01:00:23Right.
01:00:29The big guns team is illegal.
01:00:31Yeah, we already knew that.
01:00:33You do.
01:00:39How old are they, Larry?
01:00:4744 and 47, what's it to you?
01:00:53You should have checked who else was in the bathroom.
01:00:59I guess the question for me is, Will,
01:01:03when did you know about him?
01:01:05I had my suspicions.
01:01:07Yeah, and yet you did nothing about it.
01:01:09No.
01:01:11No.
01:01:13I guess the good news is that you finally made it to the World Series.
01:01:17You're all set to play the defending champions, Desert Storm, tomorrow.
01:01:21The bad news is you're disqualified.
01:01:25And don't give us that excuse that you weren't the coach.
01:01:27You were the coach on record.
01:01:29It was your responsibility.
01:01:31Then hang me, me out the dry.
01:01:33Not the whole team.
01:01:34I'm banning the entire team of big guns from playing for life.
01:01:37But why?
01:01:38It was all my idea.
01:01:39They knew.
01:01:40Suspected.
01:01:42Just like you did.
01:01:46You just don't get it, Will.
01:01:51Why do you wait to come in now?
01:01:55I mean, you could have said this before the whole team got to Las Vegas and got their hopes up.
01:02:01Why did you wait?
01:02:03I was chasing a dream.
01:02:10A dream.
01:02:16I'm sorry.
01:02:21I'm really sorry.
01:02:26It's not the highest score rate.
01:02:32You don't have the biggest guys.
01:02:35Some people call it boring.
01:02:39But when you play beneath blue skies.
01:02:43It's perfect, perfect, perfect.
01:02:47The game that I am high on.
01:02:50Perfect, perfect, perfect.
01:02:53A game you can rely on.
01:02:56To be the same on every field.
01:03:00From here to me.
01:03:03To be so fair is all American.
01:03:07That's for sure.
01:03:10It's not the highest score rate.
01:03:13You don't have the biggest guys.
01:03:16Some people call it boring.
01:03:19But when you play it beneath blue skies.
01:03:25It's perfect, perfect, perfect.
01:03:29Perfect, perfect, perfect.
01:03:32Perfect, perfect, perfect.
01:03:36Perfect, perfect, perfect.
01:03:41We were eating dinner when John Tanner called.
01:03:45Yeah, to gloat.
01:03:47Said, hey, what do you know?
01:03:49We freakin' cheated.
01:03:51You said we're banned for life?
01:03:53Yeah, I said that Andy and Randy were both underage?
01:03:57Yeah, where's Larry, Andy and Randy?
01:04:00They're gone.
01:04:02They're gone.
01:04:03Oh, so you forfeited just like you always do.
01:04:06I had to.
01:04:07Look, how do you think I feel?
01:04:09I screwed up and I lost too.
01:04:12Big man.
01:04:13Who gave you the right?
01:04:14You're not even the coach.
01:04:16Yeah, who made you in charge?
01:04:19We had a shot.
01:04:20You messed it up, you jerk.
01:04:23You're off the team.
01:04:28You knew.
01:04:29You all knew.
01:04:32None of us were innocent.
01:04:34We all got what we deserved.
01:04:36And the worst thing is,
01:04:38not that we lost our shot at the World Series,
01:04:41but we lost our friendships.
01:04:53Hey, hey, hey, Roy, now's not the time.
01:05:03Will was right.
01:05:04We all got what we deserved.
01:05:06We were ridiculous.
01:05:07Bunch of cretins.
01:05:13Come to think of it,
01:05:14we have been acting like nutcases.
01:05:16What happened to it?
01:05:18We forgot what it was all about.
01:05:20Man, we went bonkers.
01:05:23Yeah, who were we?
01:05:27Oh, gee.
01:05:30Aw, man.
01:05:33You know, we were idiots, condom nose.
01:05:39Yeah, one thousand percent.
01:05:42Butter cheeks.
01:05:43Elephant gas.
01:05:45Bully ball.
01:05:46Snagma cheese.
01:05:48Oh.
01:05:51It does fit one of us pig nuts.
01:05:53Right, bean brain.
01:05:55Yeah, you been thinking with your little head there, Jerkoff?
01:05:58I apologize to Steve, you freaking girlfriend thief.
01:06:02Aw, yeah.
01:06:03He's probably already got another one.
01:06:06Rick.
01:06:07Okay, big brother.
01:06:10Yeah, it's not cool.
01:06:12All right.
01:06:13All right.
01:06:14All right.
01:06:15This is hard, but, uh, um, I was, uh, I was wrong, and I'm sorry.
01:06:25I forgive you, dickhead.
01:06:27But, hey, how are you and Lenora getting along?
01:06:29If it's any consolation, she's split.
01:06:32She found out what wasn't in my bank account.
01:06:35Well, seems like we're back to normal.
01:06:39Let's go home.
01:06:40No, wait.
01:06:41We have some business to attend to.
01:07:05Yeah.
01:07:06Now what?
01:07:07It is our professional diagnosis that the doc here is depressed.
01:07:11Arrested in time.
01:07:13Isolated.
01:07:14Alienated.
01:07:15Removed from society.
01:07:17Mm-hmm.
01:07:18Fact is, Will, you got issues.
01:07:20Uh-huh.
01:07:21Yeah.
01:07:22We decided.
01:07:23You gotta change.
01:07:24If you want to rejoin the team, that is.
01:07:27You would take me back?
01:07:29No!
01:07:30Hey, hey, Will, wait, wait, wait, Will.
01:07:33We all agree you can come back on one condition.
01:07:38You have to tell a joke.
01:07:40A joke?
01:07:43I mean, right here, now?
01:07:46That's right.
01:07:47You could just insult somebody, just so long as it's funny.
01:07:51Yeah, you can even make fun of my hair.
01:07:53It won't bother me.
01:07:54Concentrate, Will.
01:07:56You can do it.
01:07:57Look, guys, he's having a breakdown.
01:08:00He can't do it.
01:08:02Okay, Will.
01:08:03You know, some people have it, some don't.
01:08:05Maybe you were born a quitter.
01:08:07No.
01:08:08No, no, no.
01:08:09Wait.
01:08:10Wait.
01:08:11Wait.
01:08:12I'll try.
01:08:13If...
01:08:14No.
01:08:15Your...
01:08:16Yeah.
01:08:17Your mother is so ugly, she could make an onion fry.
01:08:21Ow!
01:08:22Ow!
01:08:23Ow!
01:08:24Ow!
01:08:25This is good.
01:08:26This is good.
01:08:27Um...
01:08:28If ignorance is bliss, then you people must be the...
01:08:38You people must be the ugliest people in the world.
01:08:41Pathetic.
01:08:42Dead on arrival.
01:08:43Hopeless.
01:08:44A real stinker.
01:08:45Hey, I got an idea.
01:08:47We want Will to change, right?
01:08:49Yeah, and loosen up.
01:08:51Cause we're the kings of loose.
01:08:53So, uh...
01:08:54What you got in mind there, hippo handles?
01:08:57Hey, okay.
01:08:58Okay.
01:08:59What causes humiliation?
01:09:01Confusion?
01:09:02Physical sweats?
01:09:05And a drain on your hard-earned bucks?
01:09:08Plotologist.
01:09:09No.
01:09:10Love.
01:09:11Hey guys.
01:09:12Kay, what's going on here?
01:09:13You guys were in Vegas in the World Series.
01:09:14We got disqualified for cheating.
01:09:17I'm not surprised.
01:09:18Hey, wait a minute.
01:09:19We drove straight down.
01:09:20Now, if you're the king, you're the king.
01:09:22You're the king.
01:09:23I'm the king.
01:09:24I'm the king.
01:09:25You're the king.
01:09:26You're the king.
01:09:27It's a king.
01:09:28You're the king.
01:09:29You're the king.
01:09:30I'm the king.
01:09:31I'm the king.
01:09:32I'm the king.
01:09:33I'm the king.
01:09:34I'm the king.
01:09:35I'm the king.
01:09:36I'm the king.
01:09:37Hey, wait a minute. We drove straight here from Vegas.
01:09:41You guys came all the way from Vegas.
01:09:44Why?
01:09:52I think we said our goodbyes.
01:09:55Sally, it was Will who told the truth.
01:09:59Got us disqualified.
01:10:04Aye.
01:10:07Sally, you were right. After Elizabeth died, I gave up.
01:10:13Amen!
01:10:16Stopping someone as lovely and as wonderful as you from entering my life
01:10:23makes me a real loser.
01:10:26A real twerp.
01:10:28Ding-bang.
01:10:30Blockhead.
01:10:31He's em-bombed.
01:10:34Sally?
01:10:35Sally, will you give me a second chance, please?
01:10:43What about your wife, Elizabeth?
01:10:48Some day in the future, I'll lie next to Elizabeth.
01:10:51Till then, friends.
01:10:52Friends?
01:10:53You mean like girlfriend?
01:10:54Yeah.
01:10:55You know, like going steady.
01:10:56Steady?
01:10:57Well, okay.
01:10:58Maybe mercy steady.
01:11:00Please.
01:11:01You know, like going steady.
01:11:02Steady?
01:11:03Well, okay.
01:11:04Maybe mercy steady.
01:11:05Please.
01:11:06Good up.
01:11:07All right.
01:11:08Woo!
01:11:09Thanks.
01:11:10Here you go, Will.
01:11:11All right.
01:11:12Good job, Will.
01:11:13Bye, guys.
01:11:14Bye.
01:11:15Bye.
01:11:16Bye.
01:11:17Bye.
01:11:18Who won?
01:11:19Oh, we, uh, we lost.
01:11:20No, Will.
01:11:21You won.
01:11:22You all won.
01:11:23Hey, not bad, ladies.
01:11:24Yeah.
01:11:25You got a lot of potential.
01:11:26Stick around, boys.
01:11:27You ain't seen nothing yet.
01:11:28Oh, ho, ho, ho.
01:11:29All right.
01:11:30All right.
01:11:31All right.
01:11:32All right.
01:11:33Good job, Will.
01:11:34All right.
01:11:35Good job, Will.
01:11:36Bye, guys.
01:11:37Bye.
01:11:38Bye.
01:11:39Bye.
01:11:40Bye.
01:11:41Bye.
01:11:42Bye.
01:11:43Bye.
01:11:44Bye.
01:11:45Bye.
01:11:46Bye.
01:11:47You know, one more thing, Will.
01:11:50When you're lying next to Elizabeth someday,
01:11:54I'll be next to Alfred.
01:11:57Alfred?
01:11:59Yeah.
01:12:01My previous husband.
01:12:03I didn't know you were married.
01:12:05Oh, yeah.
01:12:0618 years.
01:12:10He played second.
01:12:12I head short.
01:12:16Hey.
01:12:17Hey.
01:12:18Hey.
01:12:19What?
01:12:20We need a short stop.
01:12:22You any good?
01:12:23Yeah.
01:12:24Just wait.
01:12:26How did your Alfred die?
01:12:33Turning a double.
01:12:36Did he make the play?
01:12:37You bet.
01:12:38With a smile.
01:12:39He died living.
01:12:40What a way to go.
01:12:41Ha ha ha.
01:12:42Ha ha ha.
01:12:43Ha ha ha.
01:12:44Ha ha ha.
01:12:45Ha ha.
01:12:46So...
01:12:47With a few additions, we were back playing for fun.
01:12:48Better!
01:12:49Better!
01:12:50Better!
01:12:51Better!
01:12:52Better!
01:12:53So, with a few additions, we were back playing for fun.
01:13:05Batter! Batter! Batter! Batter!
01:13:07Come on, Sally, you're killing us.
01:13:10Yeah, any time this year.
01:13:11You know what? Zip your pie holes.
01:13:13Can't you see I'm busy here, you freaks of nature?
01:13:16Hey, you freak of nature, not bad. All right.
01:13:18Ah, she's got a long way to go.
01:13:20You think so? Just watch her back, potato head.
01:13:23Hey, Mildred, you have class.
01:13:25Hey, Buster, remember, we have a date for Bingo later.
01:13:29Hey, forget Bingo. We're going to Paris, beautiful.
01:13:32Hey, I like your style.
01:13:34Good job for him, Ruth. He's fast.
01:13:36I like that, too.
01:13:38All right, Sally.
01:13:40Okay, two outs, game tied, and a saxophone.
01:13:44And what did you coach?
01:13:46Go for it.
01:13:47Yeah, but wouldn't it be safe for us to get on?
01:13:49Yeah, but our team hangs loose. Remember?
01:13:52I love it when you talk like that.
01:13:53Let's go!
01:13:54Let us go!
01:13:56Come on, Sally!
01:13:57Come on!
01:13:58Come on, talk to the ball.
01:13:59When you stand time, smack a ball.
01:14:02You know, I got a feeling about next season.
01:14:04Barry, you've always got a feeling.
01:14:07Hey, guys, anyone need to remind you?
01:14:09We just got banned for life.
01:14:11That was for the big guns.
01:14:13And now, we'll call ourselves the Cream Puffs.
01:14:18The Cream Puffs!
01:14:22Hey!
01:14:23Hit the ball!
01:14:24Yeah!
01:14:25Boy, could she get it.
01:14:28Come on, go, go, go!
01:14:32Come on, go, go, go, go!
01:14:34Go, go, go, go, go!
01:14:35Cream Puffs.
01:14:37That has possibilities.
01:14:39Hey, poke!
01:14:41Yeah, well, I always listen to my coach.
01:14:51Let's swing!
01:15:05Two, two, two, two, water, water, two, two, two, two, two, water, water.
01:15:32Neither is Jay.
01:15:33Is that better?
01:15:48No.
01:15:50Camera's rolling.
01:16:05Definitely not funny.
01:16:09I don't want any more dorking around.
01:16:19Just think about it.
01:16:22Winner's run on third, Mel!
01:16:24Come on!
01:16:25Did I say Mel again?
01:16:26Yeah, you did.
01:16:27That's the sound.
01:16:31Cut.
01:16:33Cut!
01:16:47It was real.
01:16:54Hey, Barry, everybody thinks we're pushover.
01:17:00You're stepping on my line.
01:17:02Uh-oh.
01:17:03What's the show?
01:17:04The Big League, Larry.
01:17:06Right, Roy?
01:17:08I lost it.
01:17:13Okay, let Mel talk.
01:17:15Tell us everything you know, Mel.
01:17:16It'll only take about ten seconds.
01:17:21Think he's with legal will?
01:17:23About what?
01:17:25Still back in the talk.
01:17:27Maybe it was teensy-weensy from the beginning, Mel.
01:17:31You ever think of that?
01:17:33Cut.
01:17:34Yes, I have.
01:17:36Action.
01:17:40Action.
01:17:41Hey, maestro.
01:17:55Where's your girl?
01:17:56Your bitch.
01:17:57Hey, you got it.
01:17:58You got the girl in there.
01:17:59I told you I got the girl in there.
01:18:00World Series, huh?
01:18:01Wow!
01:18:02That's hard work.
01:18:03Um, no, I can't.
01:18:04Woo!
01:18:05That's good.
01:18:06Oh, man.
01:18:11Ooh!
01:18:12Ooh!
01:18:13Ooh!
01:18:14Oh, man.
01:18:15Ooh-o-o-oo!
01:18:17Sounds like he's gossiping!
01:18:19Yeah!
01:18:20Yeah!
01:18:21You guys are so stupid, man!
01:18:24Oh, man.
01:18:25Ooh-o-ooh-ooh!
01:18:30He's gossiping.
01:18:32It sounds like he's gossiping.
01:18:34Thank you, man.
01:18:36We got it.
01:18:40Cut.
01:18:42Is it going to be a leading?
01:18:46Oh, come on.
01:18:48He said cut.
01:18:50No, no, no, no.
01:18:52I didn't mean that.
01:18:54I wasn't going to say cut.
01:18:56No, no, no.
01:18:58All right, man.
01:19:00No, no, no.
01:19:02I wasn't going to say cut.
01:19:04Okay.
01:19:06Action.
01:19:08Cut.
01:19:30No, no, no.
01:19:32No, no, no.
01:19:34No, no, no.
01:19:36No, no, no.
01:19:38No, no, no.
01:19:40No, no.
01:19:42No, no, no.
01:19:44No, no, no.
01:19:46No.
01:19:48No, no.
01:19:54Now that we're old and we're grey.
01:19:56We're gray, we still like to play, grab a ball, don't be a chump, bruises we get, knees just forget, this is gonna raise a lot, and if you ask if we care about the thinning of hair, and a big spare tire below, we claw our back, that's showing some crack, inevitable, oh hell no.
01:20:24There's nothing like baseball to while away the timing, there's nothing like baseball to keep a lucid mind, is that a crime?
01:20:41We're young and hard still today, denial some say we need passes to help us to see, the young and the strong, we'll still take on, wait till we put in our teeth,
01:21:11not a crime, when it's time to check out a life, say goodbye to the strife, I'll accept that it's my time to go,
01:21:21St. Peter can hit like a son of a bitch, and Gabriel can really throw, there's heavenly baseball to while away the time,
01:21:33There's nothing like basketball, I play it all the time, is that a crime, is that a crime, life is too short to play golf.
01:22:03I think that film is the defense, right?
01:22:08So this iscore music is grandfatherly Kentucky, because law D, I like how Because I was telling you guys,
01:22:12Your case is supposed to be a manque, but because I do not have to runI have to die, cause you are theis in the last one,
01:22:18Right, heck, solos are playing, you want me to lose monday?
01:22:22I Unter the crowdmetros for many of these are the treasures that I am going through before,