- 3 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:30Transcription by CastingWords
01:00Transcription by CastingWords
01:30His plan to kill Beatrix Hasp
01:32I'm sorry, but there's just, uh, there's no way that he could know I'm headed to Beatrix's
01:46Bet you are, aren't you?
01:50So, he did. The iguana knows you are the only person who can lead him to have
02:00Both of them. Thank you.
02:12They're numbered here.
02:13Come in. You're a smart cookie, Charlie.
02:15But you don't understand what you're up against.
02:18He can look like anybody. I'm texting you a video. Right now.
02:24Each by the wedding venue. You see what I'm talking about?
02:29Hey, look, do you have to explain it to me?
02:34It's the iguana's prosthetics. It's his disguise.
02:39Huh?
02:39The top left is his nose.
02:45I'm sorry, but what kind of a psycho would recognize
02:48The iguana can look like anyone.
02:53Okay, and his
02:54She dies. I cannot protect you. FBI, CIA, NSA
03:03You know I'm not lying. Tell me. Do you know where Hasp is?
03:09Almost there.
03:10I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. Jim told me what you're going through.
03:40Agent Luca fucking Clark
03:45Agent Luca fucking Clark
04:08Agent Luca fucken Clark
04:09I mean, look, it's right, yeah, ah, this, I mean, if this iguana guy is fall, Alex, look,
04:33I want to protect you, okay, but if there's a truck stop coming up, and we,
04:39with a new strategy, come on, Jesus, any one of these guys could be him, let's just get
04:59our food, get the fuck out of here, any snack with us, I don't know, maybe, whatever looks
05:07good, I, actually, no, just freeze-dried taffy, and then almond joy, and some of that jerky,
05:12but not the sweet kind, you know, the good stuff, just get whatever looks good, okay,
05:15man, fucking later.
05:17Coffee?
05:24Oh, hi, uh, uh, two, please, uh, some, I'm kidding, uh, there's a guy in the parking lot,
05:46huh, oh, yeah, very quick on the fries, suspicious, and so any ideas cooking, not all of us, all
05:56right, look, then, you and me, well, we go square this with Beatrix, once she's out of
06:03danger, that's right, that's right, and you already outran a bunch of mob guys before,
06:09right, right, right, how hard can it be?
06:13Sweet.
06:20Is that how you got there?
06:21There.
06:23Shit.
06:25It's the same hand, it's the same position where they want a hat cut, it's the right height.
06:30Oh, and they were beating him up, oh, yes, and the cops were there, as long as the highway
06:53behind the stairs, okay, grab the map, grab the map, baby, yes, we are going to Beez, and
06:59we are clearing your...
07:00I asked you here because I believe the iguana is on his way to kill Beatrix Hasp, right
07:08now, I need you each to release your three code words, so I can locate Hasp, and...
07:12Hearing nothing on the wires.
07:14Agency source of...
07:15Location.
07:16You've offered a far-fetched theory...
07:18To reveal where Hasp is.
07:21You argue, because there's somebody...
07:23The iguana.
07:24An oyster-shocking drifter will take him...
07:27The iguana is hoping that you do exactly what you're doing.
07:30You can lead him there yourself.
07:32I think we can all...
07:33...is not to reveal her location to anyone.
07:36Between our agencies is so that no one agency or agent can work out where she is.
07:42It's the only way to keep this witness safe.
07:45And we must keep this witness safe, Agent Clark.
07:48But I'm saying I believe the location has already been compromised.
07:51By this girl?
07:52Yes?
07:55You have to understand, Charlie Kale has an uncanny talent for figuring out things that nobody else can.
08:04She's a force of nature, crime-solving genius.
08:08She has the detailed detection of a hawk.
08:13The logical meticulousness of Sherlock Holmes and the stubborn persistence of an English bulldog at lunchtime.
08:20She can out-crack the NSA, out-smart the CIA, and she could frankly run the FBI better than anyone in this room, including me.
08:28So underestimate her at your peril.
08:31I think we're done here.
08:57Here we go.
08:58Here we go.
09:01So I'm gonna go in first, all right?
09:11Uh, give her a little primer, you know, before we put you in the firing squad.
09:18Okay.
09:26Ah, fuck.
09:28I got a bad feeling.
09:29Jesus.
09:32Why am I so nervous?
09:34You got any gum in there?
09:45Give that breath long, let's some freshness.
09:49What big red.
09:51All right.
09:51Listen to me.
09:52Uh, anything goes wrong, anything feels weird, just slam on that horn, okay?
09:59All right.
10:00I'll be back in a second.
10:04I got you.
10:05I got you.
10:14Okay.
10:15I got you.
10:16I got you.
10:17I got you.
10:17I got you.
10:17I got you.
10:19A lot of people were going to use faster.
10:19I got you.
10:20Don't say I got you.
10:21You got you.
10:21I got you.
10:22You have?
10:22What do you want me?
10:22I got you down this road, right?
10:23I got you.
10:23I got you.
10:24I got you.
10:25You got you.
10:26You got you.
10:27I got you.
10:27You got me.
10:30Alex!
10:43Shit, shit, shit.
10:46Shit, shit, shit.
10:48Oh, shit.
10:54Shit.
10:56Jesus, Jesus.
11:00Fuck.
11:01Fuck.
11:18Agent.
11:29Shit.
11:32Agent, trigger.
11:35Shit.
11:39Jesus, Charlie.
11:48You skink.
11:52I know who you are.
11:57I'm fucking with you.
12:00Couldn't resist.
12:04Couldn't you be dying of anaphylaxis caused by a fatal cinnamon allergy?
12:08I'm severely, like, deathly allergic to cinnamon.
12:12All true.
12:14You know what's funny?
12:16The amount of lies I've told you,
12:18the amount of mundane, made-up details I've had to keep track of,
12:22it has been bonkers.
12:24I never expected I'd get taken down by a stick of Big Red, though.
12:28I always wondered if you were out there.
12:32And now I found you.
12:35The one person in the world who can lie to me.
12:38Technically, I found you.
12:41Okay, so, uh, how do you do it?
12:44You're like a trick or something?
12:46Like you, uh, only use certain words so technically you're not lying?
12:52No. I've lied to you. Over and over.
12:56Cool.
12:58So you're the world's biggest sociopath.
13:00Standing ovation. Yeah, here you go!
13:06Jesus!
13:08Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
13:10Sudden hot flash. You mind? I'm of an age.
13:14Fucking Christ. Really, Alex.
13:18Man.
13:20And all for this, right?
13:22All to get to Beatrix Harris.
13:24I mean, Jesus, lady.
13:26Wasn't there an easier way?
13:28I'm doing the math here, you know?
13:30Seems like a lot of work.
13:32You invented a whole other person.
13:36Like, is there anything that you didn't lie to me about?
13:40Yes.
13:42There was one thing.
13:44I wasn't lying at the wedding when we first met.
13:48I really was at an all-time low.
13:50My entire adult life, I've been deceiving and killing some of the most powerful people in the world.
14:00It was always so easy.
14:04I've seduced and murdered movie stars.
14:08I've killed kings and queens, dukes, viscounts, barons, countesses.
14:16When the Vatican wanted to put out a contract on the sitting pope, they called me.
14:23You killed a pope?
14:24No.
14:25Always good to have a line.
14:27Cheap fuckers wouldn't make my rate.
14:31The last few years, though, a feeling had started to settle over me.
14:37I was taking out some CEO in a panic room 300 feet under the Alaskan tundra.
14:46Nobody knows you here.
14:49It took months of research and planning.
14:53I traveled there on foot 100 miles so that I could not be detected.
15:01I had to wrestle a polar bear to the death.
15:04Nobody knows you're here.
15:06My prayers.
15:07Don't work!
15:15No.
15:16If my heart was dead, you know what happened?
15:17I always remember that he might not be successful.
15:22No upperbersome.
15:23Why?
15:24No.
15:25And when it was finally done, I realized what that feeling was.
15:40I was bored.
15:44There just was no challenge anymore.
15:46And without that, I was dead inside.
15:55Two weeks before we met, I hit an inflection point.
16:10Luckily, at that very moment, my agent called.
16:18I'm sorry, you have an agent?
16:21Talk about world's biggest sociopath.
16:23I know you're out of the game, Iggy, but hear me out.
16:27I've got the perfect job.
16:28A real noisy comeback.
16:31Beatrix Hasp.
16:32She's about to testify against the entire East Coast mob,
16:35and there is a lot of money on the table to get her gone.
16:38A fucking mob hit?
16:41I told you, no more boring jobs.
16:44Wait, listen.
16:46Nobody will take it.
16:48They say it can't be done.
16:49The FBI's got this broad in some crazy, unbreakable protection program.
16:54She's been invisible since the day they arrested her.
16:57I'm hanging up.
16:58Hold on.
16:59Here it is.
17:01There's only one person left in the world who has any connection to Beatrix Hasp.
17:06And get this, honey.
17:08It's impossible to lie to her.
17:10Everyone can be lied to, Cedric.
17:12Not this, gal.
17:14Charlie Kale is a bona fide human lie detector.
17:18Infallible.
17:19Every time.
17:21Let me send you a file.
17:22I haven't been caught in a lie since I was five years old.
17:45And that was only because I didn't know you could kill witnesses.
17:48Well, you actually can't.
17:50When I realized my kryptonite might exist, I couldn't wait to meet you.
17:59So I designed a test.
18:02The coffee.
18:03One black coffee.
18:04And what's the most disgusting beverage you have here?
18:08Butterscotch pumpkin mochaccino.
18:10It's like drinking a candle.
18:12It's perfect.
18:14Do you want this coffee?
18:16This was the moment.
18:18Could I lie to you?
18:21It's just a regular black coffee.
18:23They accidentally made me two.
18:25It required total suppression of my involuntary responses.
18:29Heart rate.
18:30Adrenaline.
18:31Body temperature.
18:32Saliva production.
18:33Oxygen concentration.
18:34I even had to control my sinuses.
18:37Not coffee.
18:39Not controlling the presentational effects, but choking off the roots of my humanity.
18:44They messed it up.
18:45I'm so sorry.
18:47I took everything I had.
18:49And I said it was black coffee.
18:50I lied.
18:51That's awful.
18:52It was exhilarating.
18:54It's fine.
18:55You're trying to do something nice and you didn't lie.
18:57I went home, hooked up in a hydration IV, and slept for 26 hours.
19:08I'd never been happier.
19:10Lying to you, I felt like an Olympic athlete pushing beyond what's physically possible.
19:15I'd never struggled before.
19:17Not once.
19:18Lying to you was like great sex.
19:21I assume.
19:24I don't really do physical pleasure.
19:26Well, it's unfortunate.
19:29And it never got easier.
19:32Every single time I lied to you, and I lied to you a lot, it was the same Herculean act.
19:39And even then I could tell I was just barely getting it over the net.
19:44One slight flip up in concentration, and you'd detect me.
19:48I see.
19:53But lying to you was just the start.
19:57To find my way to Hasp, I adjourn your complete trust.
20:02That's when I got my lucky break.
20:06The murder at the gym.
20:08Oh, jackpot.
20:09I couldn't have planned it better.
20:12I became your kooky little Watson, and yeah, you lapped it up.
20:18After that, cracking the Charlie Code was easy.
20:22I'm sorry, what's the Charlie Code?
20:24It's not complicated.
20:26You're a compulsive do-gooder.
20:28Simple as that.
20:30You're a sucker for the world's victims and losers.
20:35And you know what?
20:36I think, uh, I think I, uh, I think I just like people.
20:42Do you?
20:44Sure.
20:45All they do is lie to you.
20:47All the time.
20:50You ask me a question, and I lie.
20:53Who'd you just have a conversation with?
20:55Nobody.
20:57Charlie, you've been talking to nobody your whole life.
21:00I saw how much it meant to you.
21:03Not being lied to for once.
21:06You loved it.
21:08Fine.
21:09I get it.
21:11Then what?
21:12And then I just had to get into some hot water that only Beatrix Hasp could pull me out of.
21:17Once I uncovered Hasp's adopted son, everything fell into place.
21:25First, I hired the world's second greatest assassin, Tooshnuck.
21:31Then I got him to frame me.
21:33Stick with the plan.
21:34Find a patsy to take the fall.
21:36And we'll double your feet out.
21:37Compensate for the added risk.
21:41He was room temperature butter in my hands.
21:47I died.
22:06No.
22:07No.
22:07No.
22:10No.
22:13No.
22:14No.
22:15and that leads us to this moment here I'm so sorry I what happened at the truck stop
22:32I had to uh improvise that one hey want an oyster well well my initial impression still stands I
22:57mean all that for a mob hit like do you get paid by the hour or something well because of you Charlie
23:06Kayla the greatest challenge of my career you gave me a reason to live Wow well here's some honesty for
23:18you even now here hearing you say those words it still just sends a little zing through my heart
23:29I guess I I can't suppress that root of my humanity stuff which is it's kind of fucked up but it's also
23:39kind of a relief in a way you know it means I'll never be you I really wish I didn't have to kill
23:49you ah yeah shit well I figure that might be coming hey all killing me mean that you got nobody left to
23:58light your fire you just got to go back to that meaningless thrum of nihilistic dread probably
24:09what did you do what did you do oh me oh yeah I lit your fire
24:18clever girl
24:30we have a location for hasp greenville indiana contact local pd tell them to send everyone they
24:46have to that address right now you want an extraction team for hasp nope tell them to bring firepower
24:51suspect is armed and dangerous Beatrix hasp is likely dead I'm on my way
24:55I'm on my way
25:00hammering
25:04he's got a hostage
25:06stand down do not engage
25:09ah jeez
25:11general agents are en route and will intercept do not engage
25:16jeez
25:17Necessary! Fuck!
25:28What now?
25:47We're supposed to headquarters! Okay, we can take out the car!
25:56I'm not putting our hostage in danger! There's no time!
26:02Fucking Christ, we need to act!
26:04Stand by! The hostage has a plan, I know how that sounds, but just wait!
26:12Is there a plan? Maybe cut a deal?
26:15Maybe you could negotiate down a minimum security?
26:18They're not catching me, Charlie.
26:21Explain to me how that interacts with reality.
26:31I got an order straight from the top to take out the car.
26:33We need to buy her more time. Get me Agent Darville on the line.
26:36Agent Darville can't help us.
26:37Then get Pete the director!
26:39No, Luca. The top top.
26:45You haven't been paying attention.
26:57I fooled the unfoolable Charlie Gale.
27:00The closest thing I'll ever have to a nemesis.
27:03To an nemesis.
27:05So what's left?
27:09This is the end of the road.
27:10You're wrong.
27:11Okay?
27:12He can't lie to me.
27:13See, you've never done it.
27:14When I'm trying to catch you.
27:15Set up an 8-2-1.
27:16Copy that, 6-2. Please coordinate with 10.
27:29You're wrong.
27:32Okay?
27:33He can't lie to me.
27:37See, you've never done it.
27:39When I'm trying to catch you.
27:45And I don't think you can.
27:55Jesus!
28:07They just turned onto a dirt road towards Grand Canyon Canyon.
28:10She's trying to lose us.
28:15This dirt road dead ends at the Overlord.
28:25Are you paying attention now?
28:27Huh?
28:27Two truths and a lie.
28:29Fair fight.
28:30You win, I'll have an equal in the world.
28:32Sherlock to my Moriarty.
28:34And that'll be fun.
28:35That's the reason for us to live.
28:36And if you win?
28:38Ready?
28:43When I was a kid, I had a dog named Puddles.
28:47I'm double-jointed.
28:49I'm gonna drive us off this cliff, no matter who wins this game.
28:56True.
29:01True.
29:01True.
29:01True.
29:01True.
29:01True.
29:01True.
29:01True.
29:01True.
29:06True.
29:11True.
29:16True.
29:16This is a shit card!
29:18Oh, my God.
29:48Trailer for sale or rent, rooms to let 50 cents. No phone, no pool, no pets. I ain't got no cigarettes. I'm a man of means by no means. King of the road.
30:18King of the road.
30:48Help!
30:50Help!
30:52Help!
30:54Oh, shit!
30:56Help!
30:58Help!
31:04Fuck!
31:06Help!
31:08Oh, my God!
31:10Oh, my God!
31:12Move up!
31:14Oh, Jesus Christ!
31:16Oh, my God!
31:18Oh, my God!
31:20Oh, shit!
31:22Oh!
31:24Oh, God!
31:26Oh, shit!
31:28Not bad for two people under 5'5", huh?
31:30I'm 5'7".
31:32I'll allow it.
31:34Oh, my God.
31:36Oh, fuck!
31:38I'm so sorry.
31:40I'm so sorry about Beatrix,
31:42and you were right.
31:44Catching up real quick.
31:46Your shuck buddy was the iguana,
31:48and she could lie to you?
31:50Long story short,
31:52she could until she couldn't.
31:54Doesn't matter now.
31:56Agent Clark, any sign of the suspect?
31:58Becca.
32:00Oh.
32:02I don't see anyone up here.
32:04That bullshit.
32:06Oh, sorry about that.
32:08Charlie, it's a stroke of luck.
32:10I found you first.
32:12They're...
32:13sweeping the canyon.
32:16You can get mad at this, right?
32:18Like, uh...
32:19You know, I mean, you could just tell them.
32:20I mean, I was trying to help, right?
32:22You just aided and abetted a serial killer.
32:24You got a federal witness killed.
32:26You revealed the location of a WITSEC safehouse.
32:28If I keep listing the federal crimes you've committed,
32:30they'll be here.
32:31Okay, uh...
32:33I'll put it that way.
32:35Yeesh.
32:37You're officially wanted by the FBI.
32:41Makes sense.
32:43Yeah.
32:45Yeah.
32:47Two miles south,
32:49there's a service road that'll take you back to the highway.
32:55You let me go.
32:57We'll go.
32:59Call it a head start.
33:03Oh, thank you.
33:07Thanks.
33:10Yeah.
33:12This wind.
33:14Yeah.
33:15You look really cold.
33:16No, it's okay.
33:17I'll be okay.
33:18It's a service road.
33:19Two miles south.
33:21Yeah.
33:22I got it.
33:24It's cold.
33:26Yeah.
33:27Take this.
33:29Thanks, Luca.
33:35Okay.
33:36Next time, Charlie...
33:40I will arrest you.
33:43I mean, I have to at this point.
33:48Okay, go now.
33:49No scurry on.
33:51Bye.
33:52Yeah, go.
33:53Okay.
33:54Go a little faster, please.
33:55Okay, I'm running, Luca.
33:56Yeah.
34:04Is Clark any sign of the suspects?
34:07That's it.
34:08Negative.
34:09Nothing up here.
34:10He understands you often with his gun.
34:19Crying like a fire.
34:20Hey, can I get a ride?
34:22Can I get a ride?
34:23Wait.
34:24Fuck no.
34:25That dog's not with me.
34:28Where'd you come from?
34:31You're fucking on my whole shit.
34:34You're screaming with my ride.
34:35All right.
34:36All right.
34:37There you go.
34:38Walk, you go.
34:40Holy shit.
34:46You're gonna get hurt.
34:48Here.
34:50Jesus, you're shitting me.
34:56Hey!
35:00How's it going?
35:02Fuck yes.
35:06Hey.
35:07Thanks for stopping.
35:09So, where are you headed?
35:11Oh, uh, I guess that's a deceptively profound question.
35:16Well, I'm going to Wichita.
35:20Works for me.
35:23You might have found a scam.
35:25Oh, well, hello.
35:26I'm Charlie, by the way.
35:27Thanks.
35:28You're right.
35:29Yeah.
35:34I'm Charlie, by the way.
35:36Thanks.
35:37You're right.
35:38Theué, Andy.
35:39And they will not swallow.
35:45The bag of iron clothes rapping at your door.
35:52Standing in the clothes that you once wore.
36:00Strike another match.
36:02Let's go start anew
36:08Cause it's all over now, baby blue
36:16It's all over now, baby blue
36:32It's all over now, baby blue
36:34It's all over now, baby blue
36:37I'm ready to go
36:39I'm ready to go
36:40Let's go
36:42Let's go
36:48Let's go
36:56Here's a menu
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