00:00This is recording. Hi guys, my name is Nikki Lasagna, short for Nicole Lasagna, and I'm single. I know, right? Shocker. And I'm looking, and I'm from Long Island, New York, and, you know, a girl like me, I go clubbing, like, every night, but the clubbing scene, not really for me anymore, you know, I'm maturing a little bit, you know, maturing, I'm not going to be so much like a classic.
00:30This whore, like, the whores in New Jersey, who have the audacity to get their own reality show before us. And half of them are not even from Jersey, first of all. Like, that girl Snooki? She's like Arabian or some shit. Anyway, sorry.
00:44So, I'm looking, I'm looking for a juice head. You have to have at least a 9001 pack. Um, what else? Your brain has to be like that small. Uh, your dick has to be like that small, because you have to do steroids.
01:01That is one of my things that I look for in a man. You have to have a car, and you have to have more money than me. Um, here on Long Island, that's not very hard to find, so, you know.
01:13Uh, what else? Um, let's see. Oh, yeah. I, um, you need pecs. Not like mine. Oh, I just got my boobs done. Do you guys like them?
01:33Um, I know, right? I got my boobs done. I got extensions. I got fake nails. I got fake eyelashes. I'm 100% real, though. Like, my personality, like, I'm one in a million. You can't find any other girl like me in the whole tri-state area, okay? Go ahead and try, because you're not going to succeed.
01:50So, anyway, it's pretty self-explanatory, who I am, but now we want to know who you are. So, make a response video of you being all your guido self, and maybe I'll date you. So, go for it.
02:07Remember, penis that big. Muscles. That big. And you got it, and you got to be orange. Because if you're, like, black or white, I'm not going to date you.
02:21Like, my father, my father's really overprotective, but, like, it's, like, no big deal, whatever. Um, he said that if I don't bring home an orange man, that he's going to disown me from the family.
02:32So, you have to be orange, and you have to get along with my family. Okay, listen to me. If you insult my family, I will beat the living shit out of you, okay?
02:43So, post a video response, and, I don't know, whatever. If you don't want to, like, whatever, it's whatever, uh, then post a comment telling me what you look like.
02:55And, I mean, I'll judge. I mean, if you're good enough.
