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Kategorie
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MenschenTranskript
00:00:00Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
00:00:30Here, just clap so that I have the audio.
00:00:42Okay, cool.
00:00:52So, who are you?
00:00:55Hi, I'm Rachel Hunger.
00:00:56I live now in New York, used to live in Albany, but I'm still getting used to it.
00:01:04Why are we here today?
00:01:06Well, we're, I guess, here to shoot a little documentary, since you were so kind and gracious
00:01:11in allowing me to film with you for my UGC.
00:01:14I really appreciate it.
00:01:15So, here we are.
00:01:16Um, all right.
00:01:19So, what's it like being a content creator?
00:01:22Or is that what you call yourself?
00:01:24I don't want to assume.
00:01:26Yeah, because I do feel like influencer, it sounds so, like, uppity.
00:01:31So, yeah, I would say content creator.
00:01:33And I'm definitely not, like, I don't have a million followers.
00:01:36I'm not, like, Lele Pons.
00:01:37I'm just, like, just doing basic stuff, you know, showing people around, basically taking
00:01:43them throughout my day in little bits and pieces with me, whether it's getting ready or going
00:01:48to lunch or trying out a new spot for a drink, that kind of stuff.
00:01:53And when did you get started doing this?
00:01:57How long have you been doing it?
00:01:58I've been doing it for the last, like, two years, I'd say.
00:02:01Hardcore, but more seriously in this last year.
00:02:05Um, trying to get actual payments for my jobs.
00:02:09So, where are you at in your career?
00:02:11Like, do you feel like you have a lot of followers?
00:02:15Do you feel like, um, you still have room to grow?
00:02:19Like, how do you feel about your career as a content creator?
00:02:22Well, I mean, $23,000 is good, but I feel like I want to do better if I can, because
00:02:29I don't know.
00:02:30It seems to me that based on my experiences thus far, um, I've gotten a lot of, like,
00:02:36free deals and stuff.
00:02:38Um, coupons even.
00:02:40When I first started, that was, like, the only thing I got in return for posting about
00:02:45something.
00:02:46Um, but yeah, I think, like, coupons, um, all that stuff.
00:02:52That stuff is fine, but it really doesn't pay the bills.
00:02:54So, that's what I'm going for.
00:02:55I'm looking to hopefully get some brand endorsements that are legit, have a contract where, like,
00:03:02I post X amount for this amount of money, and it's guaranteed.
00:03:06Um, so yeah, that's my goal.
00:03:09Um, right now I'm getting there.
00:03:11I had, uh, a little $50 payment.
00:03:14That was something.
00:03:15It was like, oh, here's a little endorsement to our spot, but it wasn't actual money.
00:03:19It was still, like, to be re-received and tendered at their location.
00:03:25It was like a pizzeria.
00:03:26Um, like, which sounds so corny, but, you know, it's something.
00:03:31Yeah, yeah.
00:03:32Gets me out there.
00:03:34So, where are you from?
00:03:36What's, what's your, what's your story?
00:03:38Well, I'm from a little outside of Albany, um, but in the area that I was in, it was
00:03:45very, like, the sticks, pretty much.
00:03:47So, a little farmy, you know, a lot of livestock, crops, but not that much.
00:03:55It was just really in that, like, area in my town, that specifically, and it was kind
00:04:01of, like, a little isolated, if you will, a little creepy.
00:04:07Little Children of the Corn.
00:04:08I prefer New York City.
00:04:09What do you like about New York City?
00:04:11Uh, I love the people.
00:04:14I feel like, where I grew up, it was so quiet and desolate, if you will, uh, kind of, like
00:04:22I said, Children of the Corn.
00:04:23Um, so it was nice to be able to get out and visit the city every once in a while as a teenager.
00:04:29Even as a kid, I would sometimes do it with my family, but.
00:04:31Have you seen Children of the Corn?
00:04:34Yeah, I have, and it's quite haunting, chilling, if you will.
00:04:38Yeah.
00:04:38There's a lot of those, I think there's, like, there might be, like, nine or ten different
00:04:42Children of the Corn movies at this point.
00:04:44Are there really?
00:04:45I think there are.
00:04:46Because when I was growing up, there was, like, a bunch of sequels that were, like, straight
00:04:50to video.
00:04:51Oh, yeah.
00:04:52And then I think they've done, like, a remake, maybe?
00:04:55And then, like, other ones or something.
00:04:57But I think there might be, like, nine or ten.
00:04:58Oh, wow.
00:04:59Oh, my God.
00:05:00Yeah.
00:05:01I've only seen maybe the first one and the second one, I think.
00:05:04Mm.
00:05:05And what do you think?
00:05:06I think, like, the premise is better than the actual movie.
00:05:10You know, it's one of those.
00:05:12Definitely.
00:05:13Yeah.
00:05:14There was, like, a kid pastor, right?
00:05:16Wasn't that, like, part of it?
00:05:17Yeah, yeah.
00:05:18Oh, my God.
00:05:19He got, he gave me the creeps.
00:05:20I didn't like him.
00:05:21Do you like horror movies?
00:05:23Um, I do a little, I dabble here and there.
00:05:26I'm trying to think of, like, what my favorite one might be.
00:05:30I have a hard time nowadays sitting through movies, like, all the way.
00:05:34If I'm honest, my attention span is just shot.
00:05:36But in general, if I had to pick a horror movie, I would say Saw.
00:05:42That was really good.
00:05:44Yeah, it sounds good.
00:05:45I love Saw.
00:05:46Yeah, the special effects are crazy.
00:05:47Like, I don't know how they do all that.
00:05:49I know a little bit, but not everything.
00:05:51Do you feel like that's something you would ever want to do?
00:05:53Like, just be in movies or anything like that?
00:05:56It's funny that you say that, because, yes, I considered going to, like, acting school
00:06:03when I first kind of moved out here, which was, like, just last month.
00:06:07In theory, I could save up for it.
00:06:09I could do it.
00:06:10Not sure how long film is gonna, like, last.
00:06:14You know what I mean?
00:06:15Everyone's attention span is, like, shot to shit, frankly, just like mine.
00:06:18So I wonder about how long that will go on for.
00:06:25You know what I mean?
00:06:26Like, I think it's cool.
00:06:27Don't get me wrong.
00:06:28I love movies to a degree, but I just can't sit through them anymore.
00:06:33And I'd rather watch, like, something shorter if I could, because time is money.
00:06:38What do you mean by shorter?
00:06:39Like, how short?
00:06:40Like, I like watching, like, YouTube videos even.
00:06:47I know that's, like, still kind of, like, old school, but I enjoy it, because, like, usually they're pretty short, and they don't need to be on for, like, 40 minutes.
00:06:56It can be, like, a quick 10-minute get ready with me, or go to Sephora with me, or...
00:07:01So you watch that stuff, like, even, like, because, yeah, I know you make that stuff, but, like, you'll actually, like, watch somebody else doing that stuff?
00:07:08Oh, yeah, absolutely.
00:07:09I mean, I'm not bit-biting or anything, but I am kind of taking inspiration from stuff, because, you know, there's nothing new under the sun.
00:07:16Somebody said that, right?
00:07:18Like, um, and yeah, I think it's good to get that inspiration.
00:07:22Plus, I low-key enjoy it, because it's, like, getting to spend time with another person without actually having to, like, do anything.
00:07:29You can just chill.
00:07:30That's interesting.
00:07:31I never would have thought that, like, content creators watch other content creators.
00:07:35Like, it just feels like it's a very, um, I don't know.
00:07:40It's, like, your own pursuit, and I would feel like it would be something that you would just, like, get sick of or something.
00:07:47I mean, the only thing that I get sick of sometimes is, like, trying to film.
00:07:52That's probably the hardest thing for me.
00:07:55Um, just because, like, it's not always opportune, and I'm usually by myself trying to do it, and I feel kind of ridiculous, like, trying to do, uh, oh, here's me in New York,
00:08:08and I have to be alone, like, on Chelsea Pier trying to get a photo with, like, my stand and all that.
00:08:16Uh, it's just awkward.
00:08:18Yeah.
00:08:19So, I think that's, like, the most annoying part about it, to be fair.
00:08:22Everything else is fine.
00:08:23Do you ever feel, like, silly, like, when you're in public and, like, you're shooting content, like, people are looking at you weird or anything, or?
00:08:30All the time.
00:08:31Yeah, and I, and you can't tell me they're not. I know they are.
00:08:34Plus, I've seen those videos on TikTok of people, like, oh, influencer in the wild or things like that.
00:08:40Yeah.
00:08:41And I just pray and hope that I'm never on it.
00:08:44What's something, like, embarrassing about you?
00:08:46Like, I don't mean, like, career ending, but just something, like, you know, like, cute embarrassing, like, curious, you know?
00:08:57That's hard.
00:08:58Like, harmless embarrassing, like, just like a tidbit, you know, like a, I don't know.
00:09:07Mmm, harmless tidbit.
00:09:12Do you have any, like, guilty pleasures entertainment-wise or life-wise?
00:09:18Oh.
00:09:19Yes, definitely.
00:09:21Um, something pretty much no one knows is that, like, when I'm not watching other influencers talk about stuff and products, whatever,
00:09:31I go and look at metal detectors online so I can, like, kind of see what they're doing and try to go to locations.
00:09:38Because I asked for a metal detector two Christmases ago and I've been using it intermittently here and there.
00:09:44I haven't found anything.
00:09:45You use a metal detector in New York City?
00:09:46Not in New York City, but, like, when I was still home, I could use it outside and just, like, go to random places.
00:09:53Because, honestly, there is a lot of history to New York.
00:09:56And, yeah, there's a lot of cool stuff.
00:09:59What have you found? Have you found anything cool?
00:10:01I can show you if you want.
00:10:04These are some of my beautiful coins.
00:10:06This is probably a quarter, more than likely.
00:10:09Um, what else do I have here?
00:10:12This one looks like a dime, but very, very severely weathered and worn, as is this one.
00:10:21These are all from the beach.
00:10:22Um, I went to Rockaway, like, two months ago.
00:10:25And, yeah, these are, uh, these are them.
00:10:27So you've never, you've never shown this on, like, with content or anything?
00:10:31You've never, like, metal detected?
00:10:33No.
00:10:34Why?
00:10:35Because, like, I don't know.
00:10:36I think it would, it's not really my brand, per se.
00:10:40People would, I think that would be cool.
00:10:43You think so?
00:10:44I would watch some, like, metal detecting.
00:10:47I, I, I'm just now hearing of, like, metal detecting as, like, a category of video.
00:10:52I never even heard of that.
00:10:53No, yeah, it's really fun.
00:10:55Um, a lot of people do it, and it, for the most part, is uneventful, just like the real thing.
00:11:00Cause it's just walking around, waiting to find a spot.
00:11:03But, when they do, it's really fun.
00:11:05And I'm like, ugh, I'm craving that.
00:11:07Like, just give me something cool.
00:11:09Old Victorian object or something.
00:11:11However, I don't film that only because, um, I don't know.
00:11:17I, I don't think the image that I've cultivated in my, like, online presence would translate well with that content.
00:11:26Like, I don't even speak in my videos.
00:11:29Let alone, like, show my day-to-day really, like.
00:11:34Yeah, it's weird.
00:11:36Like, um, is it, does it feel weird being seen talking?
00:11:41A little bit.
00:11:43Well, you're not right now, cause we're literally just see your pants and the coins.
00:11:47But we, we just shot stuff where you were like, you were straight up talking to the camera.
00:11:52It was like, was that weird?
00:11:54Yeah, I was just trying to focus on you.
00:11:57I was like, okay, I just, I'm talking to a person.
00:12:00Yeah.
00:12:01Alright, I'm gonna cut and we can talk more about, like, what that's like.
00:12:04Yeah, yeah.
00:12:05Alright, so here you are staring at the camera and talking.
00:12:09And that's something you don't normally do.
00:12:13So let's talk about that.
00:12:15Um, why don't you talk in your content?
00:12:18What's, what's that about when you're your persona or your character?
00:12:23I don't know what to call it.
00:12:24But, um, why don't you talk in your content?
00:12:27Um, well, honestly, it does make me kind of nervous.
00:12:34And that sounds silly, right?
00:12:35Cause like I film videos and that's like what I'm trying to do for a living.
00:12:39Um, but like, yeah, it's really hard.
00:12:42I think the medium I work best in is visual.
00:12:46And that translates really well to like the audience that I want.
00:12:50Um, so yeah, that's, that's why I mainly don't do it.
00:12:53And also cause I, I don't feel like I have the best voice in the world.
00:12:57So there's that too.
00:12:59You have a nice voice.
00:13:00You have a good voice.
00:13:01Thank you.
00:13:03When I hear myself after I've tried to record something with audio,
00:13:07I'm like, who the fuck is that?
00:13:09Like, I don't know who that is.
00:13:11Ah.
00:13:12So not only are people hearing you talk, they just heard you curse.
00:13:15Shit.
00:13:18No, I'm just teasing.
00:13:19This is family friendly.
00:13:20It's whatever.
00:13:21It's out there in the ether now.
00:13:22I'm cooling.
00:13:23Hopefully I don't speak too freely.
00:13:26You definitely have like faces that you knew when you do your content.
00:13:32Um, yeah.
00:13:33Oh, you've noticed.
00:13:35Well, yeah, I mean, that's part of your character.
00:13:38So it's like, I, I'm just noticing when I'm seeing you.
00:13:41Cause I'm, I haven't really watched too many of your videos, um, to be honest,
00:13:46but just seeing a couple, you have like certain faces and like,
00:13:49I can see like when you're talking as your actual human self,
00:13:54like you don't really make the same faces.
00:13:56No.
00:13:57Yeah.
00:13:58I mean, yeah, I typically am very animated.
00:14:01Cause I understand that like, it's much like silent film acting in a way,
00:14:04because like I'm doing this like visual representation of an experience, a product.
00:14:11Uh, and it's, there's no sound needed.
00:14:16It's just simply like visually stimulating.
00:14:19So, yeah.
00:14:21Can you cycle through a couple of your faces right now?
00:14:25Um, or is it, is it hard to do if you're not like actually doing the video?
00:14:30I think I can do like, um,
00:14:42Sometimes I'll mouth things, but that's different.
00:14:44Like, yeah, yeah.
00:14:52Does it feel silly when you're doing it or?
00:14:55Cause like, obviously this is like outside of the context of you doing it, doing it.
00:15:01Yeah.
00:15:02Um, yeah, it does feel a little bit weird.
00:15:04I feel like a sin.
00:15:07All right.
00:15:08Well, I'm going to cut and we'll talk about something else or figure it out.
00:15:12Okay.
00:15:20Okay.
00:15:21So you have very prominent lips.
00:15:23Thank you.
00:15:25What's it like having really big lips?
00:15:28Uh, I mean, I, it's fine.
00:15:31Um, I do get comments sometimes that are sometimes less than nice.
00:15:37Less than nice?
00:15:38Indecent, if you will.
00:15:39Oh, okay.
00:15:40I was like, I was thinking like, people are just like, screw you.
00:15:45You have big lips or something, but.
00:15:47Oh, no.
00:15:48No.
00:15:49Yeah.
00:15:50I mean, for the most part, it's just like thirsty guys trying to.
00:15:53Yeah.
00:15:54Flirt.
00:15:57So.
00:15:58Um.
00:15:59I guess you've had them your whole life.
00:16:00I feel like people with big lips.
00:16:02It's just kind of like, I guess they're just born with them.
00:16:06Yeah.
00:16:07I mean, you would think so.
00:16:09Right?
00:16:10Because like, do they come in later?
00:16:12Is it like puberty?
00:16:13Is it like breasts?
00:16:14Do they like?
00:16:15Yeah.
00:16:16I mean, sure.
00:16:17In some cases, sure.
00:16:18Um, but yeah, I mean, this is totally off the record, but if I'm honest with you and myself,
00:16:27I did go ahead and take that leap.
00:16:29I got swindled and totally, I just, I fell into the hole.
00:16:36I fell into that pitfall of doing what everybody else is doing.
00:16:41And I definitely got lip filler.
00:16:43Oh, okay.
00:16:45I didn't even know that.
00:16:47It looks like natural.
00:16:48Like it doesn't look like, I don't know.
00:16:51Oh, thank you.
00:16:53I hope.
00:16:54Yeah.
00:16:55I mean, I was glad that it didn't go terribly.
00:16:56There was one time when it did.
00:16:58Um, it was just not cute.
00:17:00Ugh.
00:17:01I feel like, okay.
00:17:02So what is it?
00:17:03Is it like, does it like wear off and you get more or what's the deal with it?
00:17:08So like, it basically, there's a lot of debate on this scientifically speaking, according
00:17:15to like the research, um, somebody did like an MRI of someone's face after they had filler
00:17:22and it had supposedly dissolved cause it wasn't where it was when they initially like injected
00:17:27it.
00:17:28What is it that they put in there?
00:17:30I think it's hyaluronic acid.
00:17:33What's that?
00:17:34It's like, it's basically collagen just like extra.
00:17:41And it's like a interesting, like viscous fluid, if you will.
00:17:44Okay.
00:17:45I guess that's the right.
00:17:46I don't know if that's right, but I haven't done it in a while.
00:17:48So it's likely that maybe they have decreased in size.
00:17:51I mean, there's still huge lips.
00:17:53Thank you.
00:17:54But they're fake.
00:17:55Unfortunately.
00:17:56Spoiler.
00:17:57Yeah.
00:17:58But it's okay.
00:17:59I mean, I always had a good bottom lip, so that is truly mine.
00:18:01So your bottom looks serious.
00:18:02Mm-hmm.
00:18:03Top lip is fake.
00:18:04Yeah.
00:18:05For the most part.
00:18:06So what do your lips feel like to you right now?
00:18:08They feel like my regular lips.
00:18:09So I'm looking in the mirror like, are they still there?
00:18:10They are.
00:18:11But yeah, they're just kind of there.
00:18:13Sometimes it's weird, like kissing people is weird because it's like, I don't know what
00:18:18my top lip is entirely doing the whole time.
00:18:20I'm just trying to make sure it's acting right.
00:18:22All right.
00:18:23So yeah, it's a little weird, but I'm just trying to make sure it's acting right.
00:18:28So yeah, it's a little weird, but I'm just trying to make sure it's acting right.
00:18:38So yeah, it's a little weird, but I'm sorry.
00:18:43That was so extra share.
00:18:45Ah.
00:18:46It's interesting.
00:18:47Yeah, I guess so.
00:18:49I guess so.
00:18:50But I don't know.
00:18:51I feel like it's something that it's sort of a secret if I'm honest.
00:18:58But yeah, we've been having such like a cool conversation.
00:19:02I was just like, let me spout out and share.
00:19:06Well, that's the point of a documentary is you get people being natural, you know?
00:19:12Yeah, yeah.
00:19:13Yeah, I suppose.
00:19:15Is there any chance you might be willing to kind of cut that part?
00:19:21And make it a little bit more ambiguous?
00:19:24Are you serious?
00:19:25Yeah, if you could.
00:19:27I mean, I know that sounds extra and like, you know, it's silly.
00:19:31I should probably be okay with the fact that I did something like that.
00:19:35But what I'm not sure I'm okay with, upon reflecting, is my audience knowing that, because...
00:19:44All right, let me cut and we can talk about it.
00:19:46Like, talk about it, talk about it.
00:19:48Okay.
00:19:49Okay.
00:19:50Okay.
00:19:51I always have like a natural aversion to like, cutting things that work.
00:19:55And I feel like it was such an interesting conversation.
00:19:58Totally.
00:19:59I totally understand.
00:20:01And it is your documentary.
00:20:03I just, you know, I wonder if maybe it's possible that I could have a little bit more say in like, what's included and what's not.
00:20:11I would just want you to look at the finished product and then decide, like, how you feel about it.
00:20:18And then let me know.
00:20:19Okay.
00:20:20Because like, at the end of the day, like, you signed a release, and it's my footage, and I can do with it whatever I want.
00:20:27But, you know, I'll show you a cut of it.
00:20:30And then maybe if you see a cut of it, you might feel like, oh, that actually works.
00:20:34You know what I mean?
00:20:35Yeah, sure.
00:20:36Yeah.
00:20:37I feel like you're angry with me now.
00:20:41No, no, no.
00:20:42I'm just, um, uh, pensive.
00:20:45No, I just mean like, like, let me take a crack at it, basically.
00:20:49Like, let me try and make my version of the best movie I can make.
00:20:54And if that's in there, that's in there.
00:20:55And if it's not in there, that's not in there.
00:20:57And then you look at it with fresh eyes.
00:21:00Because like, what feels weird in the moment isn't necessarily what's going to feel weird when you look at it, like, incorporate it into a full piece.
00:21:09Does that make sense?
00:21:10No, yeah, yeah, sure.
00:21:12And...
00:21:13Okay.
00:21:15All right.
00:21:17Um, well, what else is there to talk about?
00:21:22I don't know.
00:21:23What can we talk about?
00:21:24All right.
00:21:25So here is my room.
00:21:26Behind me, I have my calendar because it's always good to stay on time.
00:21:30Here I've got my little pencil case, some beautiful Cracker Barrel pens.
00:21:36$2 total steal.
00:21:38Go to Cracker Barrel.
00:21:39Oh, I have these cute little testers from Caroline Herrera.
00:21:42These were only 35 paired together at the store.
00:21:46I was like, that's tea.
00:21:47I'm getting it.
00:21:48What does tea mean, by the way?
00:21:49Oh, tea?
00:21:50It's like, oh, that's tea.
00:21:52Like, that's...
00:21:53That's a deal.
00:21:54Like, that's the secret that I need to know.
00:21:56Oh, right.
00:21:57Like, oh, that's the tea right there.
00:21:58Like...
00:21:59Okay.
00:22:00Little known secret.
00:22:01Little life hack.
00:22:02What else is over here?
00:22:03I mean, I have room spray.
00:22:04This was something that I actually got from, uh, Tacit Aperies.
00:22:10I never knew how to learn the name.
00:22:12But, uh, yeah.
00:22:13They gave this to me to try.
00:22:15So, yeah, you've probably seen it on my whole Instagram page.
00:22:19And then...
00:22:20This is my Sarah Jessica Parker perfume.
00:22:23I really do love Sex and the City.
00:22:25That's, like, one of my favorite shows.
00:22:26Mm-hmm.
00:22:27Oh.
00:22:28Does it smell like paradise?
00:22:30What does it smell like?
00:22:31I can't smell it from over here.
00:22:33Don't, like, spray more of it, just in case I hate it.
00:22:35But...
00:22:36Okay, pass it to me and I'll just sniff it.
00:22:39Okay.
00:22:40Is this what Sarah Jessica Parker smells like?
00:22:45That's what I would think.
00:22:46I would think so, right?
00:22:47And it's pretty magical.
00:22:48I love it.
00:22:49It's, like, I was expecting to hate it, but I kind of like it.
00:22:53Yeah, it's not bad, right?
00:22:55It has almost, like, a cigarette-y sense to it.
00:22:58Or, like, a hookah.
00:22:59It almost smells like a hookah.
00:23:00Have you ever done hookah?
00:23:02No, I've never done hookah.
00:23:04Uh...
00:23:05Okay.
00:23:06This kind of...
00:23:07It has, like, a hookah-ness.
00:23:09I wonder if Sarah Jessica Parker does hookah.
00:23:12It would not surprise me, because she smokes a whole lot in that show.
00:23:15Ah, yeah, that's true.
00:23:16I forgot about that.
00:23:17Um, what else?
00:23:22This is, like, my little everything bin right now, but when it's not everything, it's mainly
00:23:28just my hair stuff.
00:23:29And then over here, this is just, like, everything else.
00:23:32This is, like, a three-tiered system.
00:23:36Makeup.
00:23:37Nails and body.
00:23:40More nails and body.
00:23:42So, basically the same thing.
00:23:44You have, like, a statue of big lips.
00:23:47Oh, yes, I do.
00:23:49One could say I manifested that as well.
00:23:52Um...
00:23:53But we're not allowed to talk about your big lips.
00:23:55Yeah.
00:23:56Um, then I also have this lovely turtle.
00:23:59I got this from TJ Maxx.
00:24:02Mm-hmm.
00:24:03Literally $15.
00:24:04All right.
00:24:05I like the cat poster.
00:24:06Oh, yeah, thank you.
00:24:08I don't know if you saw the picture of my actual cat, but...
00:24:12Yes, I did.
00:24:13I like to think of that painting as an homage.
00:24:16Mm-hmm.
00:24:17I like to be really organized.
00:24:18So, I've got, like, summer tops here, summer pants here.
00:24:21And then this is all my, like, really nicer type stuff.
00:24:24Um, got some of this.
00:24:27This is actually really, really cool.
00:24:30This is a high-ticket item.
00:24:32I got this from a brand based in Greece.
00:24:35They sent it to me in the mail.
00:24:36All I had to do was, like, shoot a video in it.
00:24:38It was really cute.
00:24:39Ah!
00:24:40Also got this from a little brand deal.
00:24:42This is, like, an independent boutique brand called Spencer's Closet.
00:24:45And they gave this to me to wear during, uh, fashion week last year.
00:24:51Ooh!
00:24:52This was my fit for Barbie.
00:24:54I made a whole reel about it going to the Barbie movie and, like, going in my hot pink.
00:25:00Me and my friends went all together.
00:25:02It was really cool.
00:25:03Did you like Barbie?
00:25:04I do, yeah.
00:25:05And I did like her as, like, a toy or, like, in the movie?
00:25:08Yeah, and did you like the movie?
00:25:09I did like the movie.
00:25:10I mean...
00:25:11I thought it was good.
00:25:12I fell asleep a little bit, but...
00:25:14Yeah.
00:25:15Is that...
00:25:16Is that...
00:25:17Do we have to cut that out that you fell asleep?
00:25:18No, it's fine.
00:25:19I can admit that.
00:25:21But yeah, I have this as well.
00:25:23This is, like, my favorite...
00:25:25What is this from?
00:25:26Divided.
00:25:27Yeah, I didn't get a deal with them, but I did really like their dress.
00:25:31I think it's, like, Urban Outfitters.
00:25:33I did the shopping with me trip to Urban Outfitters, and this is what I got.
00:25:37So nice.
00:25:38Okay.
00:25:39Yeah.
00:25:40Um...
00:25:43But yeah, that's...
00:25:44That's mainly it.
00:25:45I mean, I could, uh...
00:25:46I could try some on for you if you want.
00:25:48We could do, like, a little...
00:25:49Ooh, get ready with me.
00:25:51Or maybe even, like, for transitions in between things when we're, like, talking about stuff.
00:25:56We can, like, oh, look at her in this outfit, and then changing subject in this outfit.
00:26:01You know, that kind of vibe.
00:26:03Okay, yeah.
00:26:04Totally.
00:26:05Would that be cool?
00:26:06Yeah.
00:26:07Alright, cool, cool.
00:26:08So...
00:26:09Okay.
00:26:10I guess with that in there...
00:26:11Wait, what?
00:26:12I was gonna say, I guess with that in there, um...
00:26:15Maybe we can cut out some of the more sensitive subjects that we were talking about earlier.
00:26:21Oh, my God.
00:26:22Like...
00:26:23Really?
00:26:24Yeah.
00:26:25I mean, yeah...
00:26:26Wait, what?
00:26:27What do you mean?
00:26:28I mean, like, you know, maybe we can substitute.
00:26:31Like...
00:26:32Substitute what for what?
00:26:35Lip filler for clothes.
00:26:38What's clothes?
00:26:40What does clothes mean?
00:26:42Like, outfits.
00:26:43Like, oh, check this out.
00:26:45Really cute.
00:26:46I can explain where I got it, and...
00:26:49What a good deal I got on it.
00:26:51Even if I didn't.
00:26:52Well, that's not as interesting.
00:26:56I mean, one could say that.
00:26:59Like, if you're just putting on a jacket and talking about a jacket, that's not as interesting as you talking about the fact that you have lip fillers and giving an honest, like, down-to-earth statement on that, you know?
00:27:12Like, I just feel like you're...
00:27:14This is almost like you're turning this documentary into kind of, like, what your content is.
00:27:21Unintentionally.
00:27:23I wouldn't have agreed to shooting your content for you around New York City if I thought that, like, the documentary was literally just gonna be more content of you, like, trying on stuff or whatever.
00:27:38Oh.
00:27:39So, like, honestly, like, I feel like the documentary, like, can be just us disagreeing about what the documentary is.
00:27:56Like, this shot that I have on you right now, like, I just like the shot of just you sitting and just being, like, a person, and we're just having a conversation.
00:28:05Like, to me, that's compelling.
00:28:07Like, I'm not a young person who watches content.
00:28:11That's not compelling for me.
00:28:13Mm-hmm.
00:28:14I'm somebody who watches, like, documentaries where people are being real with each other.
00:28:17But I think a way for us to meet halfway is the fact that, like, you know, in the context of us disagreeing, there's a documentary there.
00:28:28Does that make sense?
00:28:30Is that something you would be more comfortable with?
00:28:32I do like the idea of it being more focused on us disagreeing about, like, what the point of the documentary is or, like, what any point to any documentary is, really.
00:28:43Well, because that's real.
00:28:44Like, that's what we're, if that's what's happening between us, our disagreement, I feel like that disagreement becomes the documentary.
00:28:52That, like, for me, documentaries and film in general should be always chasing, like, what's real and, like, what's happening right now.
00:29:00And what's happening right now is we're disagreeing about what this is, you know?
00:29:04Yeah, sure.
00:29:05Is that something you feel safe capturing?
00:29:09Because I'm just worried now that we're going to go down that path and then you're going to be like, all right, we'll cut all the stuff about us disagreeing and just keep all the stuff about me talking about clothes and stuff, you know?
00:29:20Oh, no, yeah.
00:29:21I mean, you can totally keep the disagreement in there.
00:29:25I think that, honestly, I really, really like your idea there because, like, that is really compelling.
00:29:33I like things that have, like, you know, a story I don't think is interesting unless there's resistance in some way, shape, or form.
00:29:42Sorry, I'm just figuring out the shot a bit better.
00:29:44No worries.
00:29:45But, yeah, I definitely think...
00:29:48Like, we don't have to get along and that can be part of the interestingness of what we're doing, you know?
00:29:56Because we're, you know, we're two different people.
00:29:59Like, I come from a very different world from you.
00:30:02And you come from a very different world from me.
00:30:05Like, I don't get why people make content.
00:30:07I think it's stupid.
00:30:08Like, I'm fine admitting that to you.
00:30:10And I'm sure you get that from people in your life.
00:30:13Oh, sure, yeah.
00:30:14But if it's stupid, like...
00:30:15I don't dislike you as a person.
00:30:17I'm just saying, like, I don't understand why people make this kind of shit.
00:30:21Like, I...
00:30:22Like, with this same equipment, like, a fucking camera, you can make, like, an actual, like, fucking movie.
00:30:28And not just, like, worship these fucking brands.
00:30:32And make your whole life about chasing these little fucking morsels of shit that they fucking throw your way.
00:30:39Whether it be a fucking coupon or some fucking shit that they throw you.
00:30:45And then you're constantly chasing this fucking carrot that's, like, dangling in front of your face.
00:30:50Like, that's fucked up, too.
00:30:51So it's, like, us talking about that shit.
00:30:54And that's fine.
00:30:55I'm sure there's shit that you think, like, is fucked up about me.
00:30:57I'm sure you think, like, oh, this pretentious asshole that's, like, shitting on what I'm doing right now.
00:31:02You know, I'm sure you have shit that you would want to say to me.
00:31:05And that can be kind of...
00:31:07If we're rolling while that's happening, then that's fucking compelling.
00:31:10So I think that's interesting.
00:31:12Okay.
00:31:14I mean...
00:31:15Like, say something to me.
00:31:16Like, say...
00:31:17I'm not trying to force it, because then that would be fake.
00:31:19But, like, how are you feeling about me shitting on what you do?
00:31:24Does that feel...
00:31:26Does that feel good?
00:31:27Does that feel uncomfortable?
00:31:29It feels...
00:31:36Pedantic.
00:31:37Pedantic?
00:31:39Okay.
00:31:40Because, like...
00:31:41I mean, I kind of got the gist of it when I first, like, approached you.
00:31:46And we had a little chat, you know, over the phone about what we do and what we're into.
00:31:51And...
00:31:52Mm-hmm.
00:31:53Yeah.
00:31:54I mean, I got the gist of it from there.
00:31:55So, like, I do know that.
00:31:57I'm aware that you feel that way.
00:32:00And I do respect it to a degree, even though I disagree.
00:32:04Yeah, I'd say content creation in general, at this moment in time, is much more lucrative than trying to work in film.
00:32:17I have no doubt that it's more lucrative.
00:32:19And also, I'm not trying to work in film.
00:32:21I'm just trying to make stuff that I like.
00:32:23Like, you know that.
00:32:24You've seen some of my stuff.
00:32:25You wouldn't have contacted me if you didn't like kind of what I'm doing, which is just doing my own thing.
00:32:30Oh, no.
00:32:31Yeah, of course.
00:32:32You know, I'm not...
00:32:33What I mean is, like, I'm different also from people on my side making art and chasing being in Hollywood and all that shit.
00:32:41Like, I'm doing my own thing there.
00:32:43So, you know, I'm not chasing that shit in general, is what I'm trying to say.
00:32:49Hmm.
00:32:50So you don't want to make, like, high-budget movies?
00:32:54No.
00:32:55Not at all.
00:32:56Really?
00:32:57If I'm not doing shit like this, like, even though this day is not going great because we're disagreeing on what this documentary should be, like, this small footprint type shit, I fucking love.
00:33:07And I'm sure the small footprint in this of making content is what makes it tolerable for you to be shilling for these fucking brands is the fact that you can just go out and do it yourself rather than, like, you being part of some fucking...
00:33:23If you worked at some network or you worked at some TV station or whatever or you were, you know, on some red carpet interviewing people or whatever, like, there's that path and you didn't take that path.
00:33:35So there's some acknowledgement there of, like, you like the fact that you can just get out there with a fucking camera or your phone and you can make something.
00:33:44So, like, we're kind of cut from the same cloth in a certain sense.
00:33:48It's just that, like, I'm looking for honesty and you're kind of, I don't know, it's almost like a brainwashing thing where, like, you're so fucking close to just, like, making something that's, like, honest and cool.
00:34:01But, oh, these fucking brands call you and say, like, go visit here or, like, a store calls you and says, like, come check out our thing and make content about it.
00:34:11It's like, I don't know, it's just, it's a different place than I come from shit with.
00:34:18So it's hard for me to relate.
00:34:21It's not entirely dishonest, the type of content that I make.
00:34:26I mean, I can understand why it might seem that way because not everything is included.
00:34:31For instance, my voice.
00:34:32I don't include that.
00:34:33So that element of reality was lost.
00:34:35I don't have any problem with that.
00:34:36I think that's cool.
00:34:37That's fine that you don't talk and your stuff.
00:34:39Cool.
00:34:40No, yeah.
00:34:41Yeah.
00:34:42But, like, I'm just saying, it seems like you think that I'm, like, dick riding these brands.
00:34:47And I'm definitely not.
00:34:48I'm just showing the best part that they have to offer, whether it be a product or an experience.
00:34:57And I'm showing the best aspects.
00:34:59That's fair, but you wouldn't do it if they weren't.
00:35:01I mean, actually, I should phrase that as a question.
00:35:04Would you do this kind of stuff if they weren't asking you to do it?
00:35:07I mean...
00:35:08Because, I mean, I can get, like, when you're starting out, you could just go and do stuff to show that you can do it.
00:35:14Yeah, yeah, of course.
00:35:15But, like, you know, I don't know.
00:35:18Some of the stuff would you even do?
00:35:22I mean...
00:35:26Like, okay, let me put it this way.
00:35:27It's a shame.
00:35:28Let me put it this way.
00:35:29These are the best years of your life, right?
00:35:31You're young.
00:35:32You're beautiful.
00:35:33You're in New York City, right?
00:35:34Thank you.
00:35:35Why aren't you a fucking artist?
00:35:37Like, let's be real.
00:35:38Let's get real with this fucking documentary.
00:35:40Like, why aren't you making art?
00:35:41Like, what's the fucking...
00:35:43What are you getting out of what you're doing that's so much better than, like, if you were to tell a fucking compelling story?
00:35:52Like, what is the fucking problem?
00:35:55Why isn't my TikTok real and art?
00:35:57Well, it's something else, right?
00:35:58It's commercialism, and it's the commercial area of things, and it's advertising, and it's, to an extent, it's propaganda.
00:36:06But that, it's still, like, in and of itself, like, a lot of commercials.
00:36:10Let's say the Campbell's Soup Can commercial, where it hops off the shelf and follows a kid home.
00:36:17Mm-hmm.
00:36:18That's, like, there's a storyline there.
00:36:21Like, there's a point to that, and it's still art, you know what I mean?
00:36:26Even though they're trying to get you to buy a product at the end of the day, that still doesn't take away the aspect of artistry that goes into that.
00:36:34Mm-hmm.
00:36:35Like, it's still beautiful.
00:36:37I think of that as, like, a short film.
00:36:39No, yeah.
00:36:40Look, commercial art can be some of the best art, and there's been really influential commercial art.
00:36:46I would have more respect for you if you were actually making stuff that could be held to that regard or could be in a museum one day, but you're not.
00:36:55You're, like, literally, you're just being used as a fucking pawn, dude.
00:36:58Like, for real.
00:36:59I wouldn't say a pawn, because, like, at the end of the day, there is benefits to the job.
00:37:04And I guess it depends on what your expectation is when you go into that.
00:37:08Like, if you're expecting to be paid a million dollars the first time you get a brand deal, like, you're not gonna get that.
00:37:14But you will get a good experience.
00:37:17You will get to go places you haven't gone before.
00:37:20And you find that compelling?
00:37:22I mean, I think it is incredibly compelling.
00:37:24It's another way to connect with people.
00:37:26I think that's integral to art as a whole.
00:37:31Mm-hmm.
00:37:32So I'd say, like, okay, I agree to disagree with you in terms of, like, oh, content creation isn't art because I'm, like, sold out or whatever.
00:37:41I haven't even, like, gotten that much money from it.
00:37:44I mean, I've gotten vouchers, basically.
00:37:46So I wouldn't say I'm selling out in that regard.
00:37:49But I would say that I'm taking the opportunity that I have to use my assets and make some money for myself.
00:37:59And broaden my social connections.
00:38:02See, that was good.
00:38:04Like, a little bit of that.
00:38:05That was, like, interesting.
00:38:06Are you comfortable with that being in there?
00:38:08Yeah.
00:38:09Yeah, absolutely.
00:38:10I think that's good.
00:38:11All right.
00:38:12Okay.
00:38:13So, like, what would the clothing be?
00:38:16Um, I mean, we can go with a variety of different outfits.
00:38:21I mean...
00:38:22But, like, what would it be?
00:38:24Like, what's...
00:38:25When you say trying on clothes, is it like...
00:38:28Like, what does trying on clothes mean?
00:38:31Oh, I mean, like, you know, little outfit reveals.
00:38:35Like, we find a way to...
00:38:37At least how I do it when I'm doing, like, a TikTok.
00:38:41I try to find, like, a walkway to go down.
00:38:44Whether it be a hallway or, like, even just my bedroom door.
00:38:47Walk in in one outfit and then walk in in another one.
00:38:51Cut to walk in in another one.
00:38:53And then it's, like, a runway.
00:38:54Like, me doing a runway show by myself.
00:38:57So then it's not actually, like, trying on clothes.
00:39:00It's not, like, putting on clothes.
00:39:01It's, like, finished product.
00:39:03Like, here's me in clothes.
00:39:05Right?
00:39:06Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:07Pretty much.
00:39:08Um...
00:39:09Like a runway show.
00:39:10Yeah, I don't know.
00:39:11It just sounds a little content-y to me.
00:39:13If it was you trying on...
00:39:16Like, literally putting on, taking off clothes.
00:39:20That would be more interesting.
00:39:21Because that's not something that you would normally see.
00:39:24You do.
00:39:26Yeah, it'd be more like something to an OnlyFans model do.
00:39:31Right.
00:39:33But I'm just trying to...
00:39:35I'm just trying to give an example of, like, the fact that, like...
00:39:38There's just no real reason to do, like...
00:39:41Here's me in this outfit.
00:39:43And then cut to...
00:39:44I'm in another outfit.
00:39:45Cut to...
00:39:46I'm in another...
00:39:47Like, that's just not the kind of thing I'm going for.
00:39:49Like, I would rather just talk to you.
00:39:51Um...
00:39:52And ask you more questions about...
00:39:54What it's like to be you and stuff.
00:39:56Like, it just doesn't seem useful to grab that kind of footage unless there's something about it that's different than what normally would be there.
00:40:06But...
00:40:07Watching me undress seems useful.
00:40:10I mean, you...
00:40:12I didn't feel like you're pinpointing upon that, but...
00:40:15Well, yes.
00:40:16To, you know...
00:40:17I'll argue from the position you're putting me in.
00:40:19But, yeah.
00:40:20It would be...
00:40:21It would be useful.
00:40:22It would be interesting.
00:40:23It would be entertaining.
00:40:24It would be...
00:40:25Beautiful.
00:40:26Because I would shoot it beautifully.
00:40:31Would you consider...
00:40:36Well-directed porn art?
00:40:38I would consider...
00:40:40Poorly directed porn art.
00:40:42I think porn is a genre.
00:40:43I think...
00:40:44Um...
00:40:45I would defend any art...
00:40:47That is art.
00:40:48And art is art.
00:40:49And that's all that art is.
00:40:51And so...
00:40:52I'm not trying to make porn here.
00:40:54So I...
00:40:55I kind of like...
00:40:56I know what you're getting at.
00:40:57Um...
00:40:58And I don't appreciate it.
00:40:59Um...
00:41:00But...
00:41:01Yeah.
00:41:02I would...
00:41:03Of course I would defend any art.
00:41:04No, yeah.
00:41:05It's just...
00:41:06I think it's interesting that, um...
00:41:10Seeing me in the outfits isn't useful.
00:41:12But watching me get to that point is.
00:41:15Yeah.
00:41:16Because that's normally what we would not see.
00:41:18So...
00:41:19If we're seeing you putting on or taking off clothes.
00:41:22That's something we wouldn't normally see.
00:41:24Again, this is the purpose of a documentary.
00:41:26Is to give people a glimpse of you.
00:41:28Behind what they would normally see of you.
00:41:31You're a beautiful woman.
00:41:33Who wouldn't want to see a beautiful woman putting on or taking off clothes?
00:41:38That's, like, what people have painted since paint existed.
00:41:42You know?
00:41:43You can go into a museum and see, like, paintings of, like, women washing their legs and shit.
00:41:48You know?
00:41:50This isn't porn.
00:41:51This isn't me being a creep.
00:41:53This is me being an artist.
00:41:55Like, welcome to fucking models and artists.
00:41:58And the oldest fucking relationship in the history of art.
00:42:02A woman is beautiful.
00:42:04A painter or a sculptor captures them.
00:42:08You know?
00:42:09Right.
00:42:10What was the eye roll there?
00:42:15I saw the fucking eye roll.
00:42:16What do you mean?
00:42:17So I reckon that's the reason why you picked me for your little documentary then?
00:42:20That you're beautiful?
00:42:22Is this the first time you've been told that?
00:42:25Yes, you're beautiful.
00:42:26It's not the first time.
00:42:28Not to toot my own horn, but...
00:42:30No, what I mean is, like, yeah, okay, so, you know, you wanted me to shoot content of you.
00:42:37Great.
00:42:38I was like, let me do a documentary.
00:42:39Yeah.
00:42:40Because you're beautiful is probably part of why I chose to do that deal rather than just get paid or something.
00:42:48Because I was like, this chick's gorgeous.
00:42:50Like, why can't I just do a documentary?
00:42:52That would be dope.
00:42:53That would be priceless.
00:42:54Art is always priceless, right?
00:42:56I guess.
00:42:57Sure.
00:42:58But I mean, don't you think it's kind of voyeuristic to deem watching someone undress, which is usually a private moment for most people?
00:43:11Yes, art is about private moments.
00:43:13It's about, like, you talking about your lip filler.
00:43:15It's like what they say about free speech.
00:43:17Free speech isn't there to protect speech that you love.
00:43:20It's there to protect speech that you hate.
00:43:22That's the only possible purpose.
00:43:23The only possible purpose of art is moments that you wouldn't normally see or you wouldn't normally appreciate.
00:43:27We see women walking in the street fully clothed all the time.
00:43:30We don't always see women in states of undress unless we have some sort of intimate relationship with them.
00:43:35But art provides us a glimpse into intimacy and into connecting with other people and being allowed into their world.
00:43:43You know, you allowed me into your world with this documentary.
00:43:47And so I fucking went down that path with you.
00:43:51And the second we started revealing things about yourself that are actually about yourself, you fucking back off.
00:43:57And that's fucked up.
00:43:58Is it fucked up?
00:43:59Is it fucked up?
00:44:00Yeah, it is because we were so close to fucking creating a piece of art here.
00:44:04You know?
00:44:05I think what we're doing right now is art. Is it not? Having a dialogue?
00:44:10Yes, I'm fine with this. This is good. This is all usable.
00:44:13Right. I just think you don't have to necessarily have a naked woman in your finished product to make it interesting or to make it art.
00:44:22I don't necessarily need to have a naked woman in my art for it to be art. I'm just saying you were talking about putting on clothes and taking off clothes.
00:44:29The only way that I would want to do that is if you were actually like we saw you in your underwear, which honestly like fucking dude like I've seen your fucking content.
00:44:39You've been on beaches. You've been in fucking bikinis and shit on the fucking beach.
00:44:44So what's the big deal about you in like a bra and panties? It's the same fucking attire.
00:44:48It's just that you're on the beach or you're in a fucking bedroom.
00:44:53So it's like you're playing this like moral high ground thing. Excuse me.
00:44:58You're playing this like moral high ground thing, but like, you know, what? What is the problem?
00:45:03Like, why? Why do you care? Like what? Who gives a shit?
00:45:07Did you like forget to shave your legs today or something like what's the fucking problem?
00:45:11But the point is like you're the one who brought up fucking taking on or putting off clothes.
00:45:15I've never brought that up once during this whole fucking thing.
00:45:18You don't have to curse at me. Thank you.
00:45:20I curse when I talk. I'm not cursing at you. I'm expressing myself as like a human being.
00:45:25I'm using all parts of the buffalo and some of the parts of the buffalo is me fucking cursing, dude.
00:45:33I'm not angry with you. This is like intellectual discussion, right?
00:45:37Yeah, but I bet you'll cut that out, won't you?
00:45:39What would I cut out?
00:45:41What doesn't make you look good?
00:45:43What doesn't make me look good? I look like fucking great here, dude.
00:45:46Do you? Because you just told me that this would only be interesting if I undressed for you on camera.
00:45:53No, no, no. Followed it up by cursing at me a ton.
00:45:56No, that's not what I said.
00:45:57Do you want to put any more nails in your coffin?
00:45:59What, do you think I'm going to get canceled for this shit?
00:46:01No, because if you actually look at the content of what I said, nothing I said was wrong.
00:46:06In fact, I was backed into a theoretical corner with how you were describing the situation.
00:46:13So I think I come off fine. I think you come off a little bit fucking inflexible.
00:46:20Really?
00:46:22Yeah.
00:46:23I'd like to see if this gets to the final cut of the film.
00:46:27This scene? I'm happy with it.
00:46:29I look forward to watching it then.
00:46:32Okay. I think you would like this movie more than you think you would.
00:46:37Okay, so why are you giving me the silent treatment?
00:46:44Why aren't you saying anything to me anymore?
00:46:48I'm rolling, so I want to capture what you have to say about you not talking to me anymore right now.
00:47:02I disagree with you on a lot of things. Most things.
00:47:06Yes. That's fine.
00:47:10I think I agree with you on one. Maybe one thing.
00:47:14What do you agree with me on?
00:47:18I agree that it's better to be honest.
00:47:22Yes! That's all I've been fucking saying, dude.
00:47:25It is better to be honest. Fuck yes. Okay. Let's do this.
00:47:29Can I ask you questions and shit?
00:47:31Go for it. Try to remain...
00:47:36Myself. Not any other version.
00:47:38Fuck yes. All right.
00:47:40Give me something from your life that you've never told anybody.
00:47:44And let's capture that fucking honest moment and I guarantee you, you'll feel better about yourself.
00:47:48And you'll feel better about this project if you just share something that's real.
00:47:52Have you ever had your heart broken?
00:47:58Yeah.
00:47:59Have you ever broken a heart?
00:48:02Probably. Then I wasn't aware of it.
00:48:04Are you just so, you know, cold-hearted that you don't even care if you broke somebody's heart or not?
00:48:10No. I mean, I...
00:48:12Who broke your heart? Let's get back on that. Who broke your heart?
00:48:18It was this guy that I dated when I was like 16 and we met online. It was so fucking stupid.
00:48:28Might have been kind of a trauma bond now that I think of it, but basically I found a way to use some college money to go to England and meet this guy, IRL.
00:48:41And we had a whole little tryst, if you will, for like a week. And then I came back home, kept in contact with him.
00:48:49Did you guys spark?
00:48:53I'll let you figure that out. Take a guess. What do you think?
00:48:56Tryst usually means spark, I feel like.
00:48:58Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, that is true. We did. But, um, yeah.
00:49:06It was a really, like, whirlwind type romance. It was quick, uh...
00:49:12The fucking or the romance?
00:49:14The romance. Because after that it just became, like, torture, frankly.
00:49:18Because there's no way to keep up a relationship that far apart. You know what I mean? Like, he's in England, I'm in the US.
00:49:25We don't see each other physically. Like, we don't get that time. And when we did, and then we couldn't see each other after that,
00:49:31that made it even worse. Because it's like we had one taste of, like, getting that feeling, and then...
00:49:37So then what happened? Did he cheat on you? What happened?
00:49:39Yeah, actually.
00:49:40Really?
00:49:41Yeah.
00:49:42That's a surprise.
00:49:43Oh, not too surprising. It was long distance.
00:49:46Yeah, that's what I mean. I'm being sarcastic.
00:49:48Oh. Yeah, no, yeah. Um... Yeah.
00:49:54Were you pissed off when that happened?
00:49:57Yeah, I was very upset.
00:50:00Um...
00:50:01Was that before you started making content, or after?
00:50:03Much before.
00:50:05Do you think maybe that led you down the path of, like, wanting attention from other people and showing yourself?
00:50:14Maybe. Maybe a little.
00:50:18Why do you think you want to show yourself to the world in the way that you have?
00:50:22And why do you think you're so apprehensive about showing yourself in more artistically significant ways?
00:50:33If you want me to be like...
00:50:35Do you want the real answer, or do you want the nice, fluffy answer?
00:50:40Give me both. I want to hear your version of, like, a fluffy one, and then give me a real answer.
00:50:45A fluffy one would be, um...
00:50:53My parents did their best, but ultimately failed to supply me with a more secure self-esteem, if that makes sense.
00:51:08Makes total sense.
00:51:09They were very critical.
00:51:10Mm-hmm.
00:51:12Uh...
00:51:16And the truthful, the more truthful answer is...
00:51:20They were just really fucking shitty people.
00:51:23They were physically violent.
00:51:25I'm sorry.
00:51:26Emotionally explosive.
00:51:27I'm sorry.
00:51:30No, it's okay.
00:51:31Do you want me to cut, or...?
00:51:33No, it's okay.
00:51:34Okay.
00:51:35It's important to be truthful.
00:51:37So, yeah, that's the reason why, probably.
00:51:42I'm honored that you shared that.
00:51:45Thank you.
00:51:46That's really beautiful.
00:51:48Yeah, no, it's okay. I mean...
00:51:50Shit happens.
00:51:52Um...
00:51:53Yeah.
00:51:54Do you want me to cut?
00:51:56We can just cut real quick.
00:51:58Yeah, sure.
00:52:00Okay.
00:52:03So, start telling that story again that you were telling me, before I started rolling.
00:52:08Oh, um...
00:52:10Yeah, um...
00:52:12It was just so stupid.
00:52:14Me and my friend, Christina, we just got, like, totally bored one night, and...
00:52:20Everybody was having a party, we weren't invited.
00:52:22In fact, we were kind of barred from it for reasons that don't need to be explained.
00:52:28She got in a fight with somebody.
00:52:29Anyway.
00:52:30Look at me more when you're telling it.
00:52:32Uh, yeah. So, anyway, she, uh...
00:52:35She decided, like, wanna play truth or dare?
00:52:37And I was like, yeah, sure.
00:52:38So, we decided to go, and she, it's just truth mostly.
00:52:43I didn't have any dares in mind.
00:52:45She didn't.
00:52:46Until, like, half an hour in.
00:52:49And she's like, oh my god.
00:52:50Why don't we go skinny dipping?
00:52:51That was her dare.
00:52:52And I was like, fuck.
00:52:53Alright, well I guess I'm going skinny dipping then.
00:52:55So, I had to run across this quad.
00:52:58Because she somehow tacked on another layer to the dare.
00:53:02That wasn't, that's not the rules.
00:53:03But she made it the rules.
00:53:04So, of course, I had to do something extra.
00:53:08But, so did she.
00:53:09She followed me.
00:53:10So.
00:53:12So, what did it feel like?
00:53:14Doing it.
00:53:16Uh...
00:53:19Cold.
00:53:21Ah, it was freezing.
00:53:22Was that, so that was, was that the first time you'd seen her naked?
00:53:25Yeah.
00:53:26And the first time she'd seen you naked?
00:53:28Yeah.
00:53:29Was there any attraction there between the two of you?
00:53:35I mean, maybe.
00:53:36Well, I mean, you decided to be naked with each other.
00:53:39And you could have just been like, fuck no, I'm not going to do that.
00:53:42But you decided to do it anyway, so.
00:53:44That's true.
00:53:45That's true.
00:53:46Do you dabble in stuff with women, or?
00:53:50I mean, sure.
00:53:51You could say that.
00:53:53So you're attracted to women too?
00:53:56Yeah.
00:53:57In addition to men?
00:53:59Yeah.
00:54:00Were you attracted to her?
00:54:03A little bit.
00:54:04But it wasn't formally known, so.
00:54:07Mm-hmm.
00:54:08Do you think there was anything...
00:54:11Do you think she might have felt anything for you, or was it just kind of one way?
00:54:15I think it was more one way.
00:54:17Yeah.
00:54:18It sucked.
00:54:19She had a boyfriend, like, all the time.
00:54:20Mm.
00:54:21So.
00:54:22I'm sure he wouldn't have minded if...
00:54:24Right?
00:54:25Yeah.
00:54:26Of course.
00:54:27This shot is so good.
00:54:29Oh, really?
00:54:30Yeah.
00:54:31I'm glad.
00:54:32This is almost like the poster or something.
00:54:33I don't know.
00:54:34Oh, thanks.
00:54:35Yay!
00:54:36Beautiful.
00:54:37See, this is fun, right?
00:54:38You're having fun with this, right?
00:54:39Oh, yeah.
00:54:40Absolutely.
00:54:41Yeah, dude.
00:54:42This is better.
00:54:43Look, you're fucking...
00:54:44The camera loves you when you're being fucking honest, dude.
00:54:47I just feel like Rose in Titanic.
00:54:49Yeah, exactly.
00:54:50Paint me like the French woman or whatever.
00:54:53Yeah.
00:54:54Feel free to take your top off at any time, like she did.
00:54:59Sure.
00:55:00I'm just kidding.
00:55:01I'm just kidding.
00:55:02Nice try.
00:55:03I'm just kidding.
00:55:04I think we're good.
00:55:05I think we got it.
00:55:07Did that feel good?
00:55:08Oh, you do?
00:55:09Yeah, dude.
00:55:10That's it?
00:55:11Oh, I don't know.
00:55:12Is there more you'd want to share?
00:55:16I mean, if you think we got everything.
00:55:18Well, I just feel like we had this really real disagreement.
00:55:24You know?
00:55:25We resolved it.
00:55:27You shared things.
00:55:29You opened up.
00:55:32You got raw.
00:55:34I feel like that's kind of it.
00:55:37I don't know.
00:55:38Well, I mean, it's not really an ending ending, but like...
00:55:41Us talking about it ending could be the ending.
00:55:45So I think we got it.
00:55:47How do you feel?
00:55:49I feel, um...
00:55:52Really good.
00:55:53Actually...
00:55:54Yeah, you feel good?
00:55:55Quite refreshed.
00:55:56I feel like we bonded.
00:55:57Yeah, we did.
00:55:58We did.
00:55:59Even though we disagreed about shit, I feel like we bonded a little bit.
00:56:02Yeah, and it felt really, really good to be, um...
00:56:06So honest.
00:56:07Here, move back a little bit.
00:56:08I want to get the light more on your face.
00:56:11Once you look as beautiful as possible.
00:56:13Thank you.
00:56:14Not that you could ever not look beautiful, but let's...
00:56:18There, there we go.
00:56:19That's even better.
00:56:21Yeah.
00:56:22That's awesome.
00:56:24Sorry, you were saying?
00:56:26Um...
00:56:27So you think we, we got everything?
00:56:30Yeah, dude.
00:56:31Cool.
00:56:32All right.
00:56:33Well...
00:56:34You feel good?
00:56:35Yeah, it's been good.
00:56:36It's been a wild ride.
00:56:38That's for sure.
00:56:39You look like, see, you look like you just fucked.
00:56:42You know what I mean?
00:56:43Like it, it, you have the vibe of like, you got something out of your system.
00:56:47You know what I mean?
00:56:48Like it was catharsis or some shit.
00:56:51Yeah, in one way or another, I did.
00:56:53Yeah.
00:56:54And I have you to thank, so...
00:56:55Yeah, you have me to thank for fucking you.
00:56:58Cinematically, artistically.
00:57:00Yeah, sure.
00:57:01Well, that's all...
00:57:03That's all art is.
00:57:05That's all sex is.
00:57:06That's all anything.
00:57:07It's just like, just get two people being honest with each other for X amount of period of fucking time.
00:57:13Right?
00:57:14Yeah, yeah.
00:57:15I feel like you learned something today.
00:57:16Yeah, I reckon I did.
00:57:18Yeah.
00:57:19Yeah, you just have like a, you have like a post fuck days, dude.
00:57:25You're like just kind of high.
00:57:28You look high.
00:57:30You do, but in a good way.
00:57:32You look high in like a relatable way.
00:57:34Dude, your actual laugh is so fucking good, dude.
00:57:42You sound so high right now.
00:57:46Oh, goodness.
00:57:47Okay, um...
00:57:49Yeah.
00:57:50You sound so high.
00:57:53You look so high, you sound so high.
00:57:55Well, that's cause...
00:57:57Cause you're high?
00:57:58Did you get high before this?
00:58:01No, I, um...
00:58:04I don't have a friend named Kristen.
00:58:06I never did.
00:58:07You don't have a friend who?
00:58:09What'd you say?
00:58:10I don't have a friend named Kristen.
00:58:14Cause I don't even remember what the friend's name was.
00:58:16I just remembered the nude bodies.
00:58:20Yeah, nobody got nude.
00:58:21That didn't happen.
00:58:22What's her actual name?
00:58:24She doesn't exist.
00:58:25I made it up.
00:58:28Wait, what?
00:58:29Yeah, I made her up.
00:58:36So you never...
00:58:37Wait, you didn't go skating dipping with anybody?
00:58:39You didn't do any...
00:58:42Okay.
00:58:43Why did you make that up?
00:58:45Well, I mean you wanted something interesting.
00:58:48No, I wanted something honest.
00:58:52You didn't...
00:58:53I'm gonna cut that out now if it was made up.
00:58:55I'm just not gonna use that.
00:58:57Thanks for telling me.
00:58:58I'm gonna have a lot to cut out.
00:59:00It wasn't that long.
00:59:01It was like...
00:59:02Just a couple minutes.
00:59:03No, but my parents also never hit me.
00:59:10Why would you lie about something like that?
00:59:14Why would you make a documentary with the veiled purpose of trying to get someone nude on camera?
00:59:20Is that really what you think that I do?
00:59:24At least a little bit.
00:59:25No, I don't think I do that at all.
00:59:27Why would you lie about your parents beating you?
00:59:32Why would you think that that's okay?
00:59:34The same reason you thought it was okay to ask me to take my clothes off for the camera.
00:59:39What about people who are watching us right now who have actually been beaten?
00:59:42How are they gonna feel when they see you?
00:59:44What about your fans?
00:59:46What fans?
00:59:47I have fans.
00:59:48You're fans?
00:59:49I have followers, not fans.
00:59:50Okay.
00:59:51Sorry.
00:59:52Followers.
00:59:53Wait.
00:59:54Why would you...
00:59:56So you made up that you went skinny dipping, which is like fine, whatever.
01:00:00But why would you make up about your parents beating you?
01:00:08So I'm not gonna use that.
01:00:09And you're gonna thank me one day that I didn't use that.
01:00:11Because that's really fucked up.
01:00:13I'm sorry.
01:00:14I just...
01:00:16I'm gonna cut that part out.
01:00:17I wanted to prove that I can act.
01:00:18I mean, you did ask me about that.
01:00:19I'm gonna cut that part out about you making that shit up about your parents.
01:00:23That's really fucked up.
01:00:24Yeah.
01:00:26I don't know why I didn't do that.
01:00:27The lip filler thing isn't true either.
01:00:33Excuse me?
01:00:34The lip filler thing, that wasn't true either.
01:00:40That's how this whole fucking started.
01:00:44Why...
01:00:46Why would you lie about the lip filler thing?
01:00:48I thought it gave me more color.
01:00:51Made me more interesting.
01:00:52It made you more interesting to say you had lip filler?
01:00:55You thought it was hella interesting, did you not?
01:00:57What about the guy in England?
01:01:02That is actually true.
01:01:04That's true?
01:01:05That is true.
01:01:06Are you lying to me right now?
01:01:08No.
01:01:10How can I believe you?
01:01:12You tell me.
01:01:14What other shit have you lied about?
01:01:16I feel like there's more.
01:01:18There is more.
01:01:19What are you doing to me right now?
01:01:20Are you sabotaging my fucking movie?
01:01:23No, I mean you wanted something interesting.
01:01:27No, I wanted the truth.
01:01:29I wanted honesty.
01:01:30I wanted real shit.
01:01:34But that's not really what any movie is, is it?
01:01:39We can damn well try.
01:01:43So this fucking movie sucks now?
01:01:46Um...
01:01:47If you'd like to think of it that way, sure.
01:01:50But was it still entertaining?
01:01:51I don't know.
01:01:54It's a document of fucking liar.
01:01:58That I'm gonna release and then...
01:02:01Your followers are gonna be like...
01:02:03What the fuck is with her?
01:02:06Maybe people will be more interested in what you had to say.
01:02:10Which is what?
01:02:12That girls changing clothes...
01:02:15Is more interesting than the outfits that they're wearing.
01:02:18It is.
01:02:19It is.
01:02:21That's art.
01:02:24Art is privacy.
01:02:25Art is intimacy.
01:02:27Art is...
01:02:29What we do not see being shown.
01:02:32Look, I think you...
01:02:34I think you come off worse than I do.
01:02:36Do I?
01:02:37Yeah.
01:02:39I'm not sure how.
01:02:41I mean...
01:02:43You told me we couldn't cut anything from the film, that you wanted to use it, all of it, so I just gave you more material.
01:02:49Does it really matter if it's true or not?
01:02:51So the lip filler thing was true, you did get fucking lip filler, because otherwise what would be your fucking motivation for lying?
01:02:58If you didn't tell some truth that you wanted to cover up?
01:03:01So the lip filler thing was real, so I know that that's real, because it wouldn't make logical sense if the lip filler thing was fake.
01:03:07Right?
01:03:09No, but it is fake.
01:03:11Do you really think I can't act?
01:03:15I wish you would act.
01:03:16I wish you'd do something with your fucking life.
01:03:19You're in New York City.
01:03:20I already am.
01:03:21You're in New York fucking City.
01:03:22Act.
01:03:23Me?
01:03:24Stupid fucking bitch.
01:03:25I am.
01:03:26Swear to fucking God.
01:03:27You're so fucking beautiful, and the camera loves you, and you're a piece of shit.
01:03:31How does that feel?
01:03:33All the world's a stage.
01:03:35I guess so.
01:03:41Are we done here?
01:03:42Do you have anything else you want to say to the world?
01:03:48Be true to yourself.
01:03:54That's all.
01:04:18I find it hard to sleep.
01:04:31Tired of counting sheep.
01:04:37I'll take you anywhere, I'll take you anywhere.
01:04:43In my dream tonight.
01:04:46Please dream of us.
01:04:48Please dream of us.
01:05:00Dream of us.
01:05:04Show me where you go
01:05:09I just want to know
01:05:16I'll do with anything, I'll do with anything
01:05:24When you dream tonight
01:05:27Please dream of us
01:05:36Dream of us
01:05:41Just dream of us
01:05:48Dream of us
01:05:53Dream of us
01:05:56Dream of us
01:06:03Dream of us
01:06:09Dream of us
01:06:15Dream of us
01:06:21Dream of us
01:06:22Dream of us
01:06:24Dream of us
01:06:28Dream of us
01:06:29Dream of us
01:06:30Dream of us
01:06:31Dream of us
01:06:35Vielen Dank.
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