- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00I'm Dora Miller, the ice hockey team's assistant that no one cares about.
00:20I love this job, mostly because it keeps me close to Leo, my crush since childhood.
00:30Wait, did Leo really stop to help me?
00:53I always believed that one day Leo would see me more than an assistant.
00:59You just got pucked, Dora.
01:06But back then, I had no idea how dangerous dreams could be, and how badly people could get hurt.
01:16It all started when I got an early birthday present from my parents.
01:23Happy birthday to my dearest daughter. We love you so much.
01:34I totally forgot I was only one month away from turning 18.
01:38Get with Leo, lose my big card.
01:51You followed Leo to college for nothing.
01:57Idiot.
01:58To die a virgin.
01:59No.
02:00If you want it, you're going to have to make it happen.
02:04Dora Miller, just tell Leo how you feel.
02:10Stop being such a pussy and go for it.
02:17Dora.
02:18Can it wait?
02:19I'm just, I'm a little busy.
02:24Leo, I have been in love with you for years. I think we would make a great team. I've been saving myself for you, and I want you to be the one to take my virginity next month before my 18th birthday.
02:49Oh my god!
02:59What did she just say?
03:00She's a virgin. L-M-A-O.
03:02How sweet. A pleading little virgin.
03:10Oh, don't let me stop you, Dora.
03:13What else do you have to say to Leo?
03:18Pretty. Hey. I didn't realize you were on the toilet.
03:27It's funny. Something in the toilet made me think of you, and then I heard your needy voice.
03:33I can't believe you're still a virgin.
03:36Wait. I totally can.
03:41But I do love what you've done with your hair.
03:50Don't have a mustache?
03:52I'll just...I'll leave you guys. Go.
03:57And this...it's interesting.
04:02Women have a choice for...they can be appealing, or they can be you.
04:11I like this cardigan.
04:14Mmm. So would my great-great-great-grandmother.
04:20Leo's hot. You're not.
04:23Leo's rich. Poor. We're in your out.
04:26Repeat that to yourself when you go and cry into your greasy pillow.
04:31Mindy.
04:32Know your place, nerd.
04:34In the library, but in your nose with the other magnets.
04:38Now, you could just, uh, finish up with some tears for my followers.
04:55What the hell? I'm not expecting money from anyone, especially this much.
05:18Up.
05:39Did you get a towel just for?
05:43What?
05:45More sleepy people?
05:50Oh, come on, it's not that bad.
05:52I just told Leo that I was in love with them, but Mindy was there.
05:56So now the whole school's gonna know that I'm a virgin!
05:59Are you in there trying to slip on some guy in the shower?
06:03Come on, I know you're in there, virgin.
06:05I can smell library dust and eyeglass cleaner.
06:13Oh, Troy.
06:24No virgins here.
06:26But you already knew that, right?
06:29Goodbye ex-boyfriend.
06:43Oh!
06:45Not so fast.
06:46You are the ignorer.
06:47I saved you.
06:49Now you own me.
06:51Big time.
06:54No way.
06:55Guys like you only want one thing.
06:58Sometimes.
06:59Help passing them out.
07:03Listen, I've got a really weird tech situation and I know you're good with that kind of stuff,
07:07but it's gotta be kept real secret.
07:09If you got a virus from the porn site, that's your own problem.
07:12No, no.
07:13Some stranger's putting money into my account and I'm worried they're setting me up to make it look like I'm throwing games.
07:20Match fixing?
07:22That also sounds super dodgy.
07:24I'm not touching it.
07:25Wait.
07:26Wait.
07:28What if we did a deal?
07:31You help me, and I help you get Leo.
07:35Boom.
07:36Swing it for fifth base in no time.
07:40It's a sexual reference.
07:41For you.
07:42You want to have sex with Leo.
07:45It's not just sex.
07:50I love Leo.
07:52I've been waiting for him.
07:54So do we have a deal?
07:56Okay.
07:57But I need to clear something up.
08:00Fifth base? I thought it was fourth.
08:03You got some work to do.
08:06You think I'm a joke?
08:08It's called teasing door.
08:11Do you want Leo or not?
08:12Good morning.
08:14Okay, so.
08:16You teach me how to flirt and, you know, do things.
08:24You want me to teach you how to kiss the laugh?
08:33I just want to know what Leo will expect.
08:38I'm not super familiar with this stuff.
08:43All right.
08:46Maybe we should tackle it in order.
08:48List it for me.
08:50Flirting fashion technique.
08:52Okay, so you spend some time thinking about this.
08:55All right.
08:57Flirting skills first, and then boom.
08:59Fifth base.
09:00Sounds good.
09:01Just don't forget about fashion.
09:03And we need a deadline.
09:05How about the fundraiser dance for the hockey team?
09:07You can make a big move there.
09:09It's only two weeks away.
09:10Okay.
09:11Calm down.
09:12You're not that hopeless.
09:13We can meet up tomorrow morning to discuss tactics.
09:16Okay.
09:18Sounds good.
09:20My whole life is going to change.
09:23Go team.
09:25Oh, turkey.
09:27Gotcha.
09:28Dora!
09:29Just the person I wanted to see.
09:30Oh, shit.
09:32I wanted to say that I'm sorry about yesterday.
09:34You did?
09:35Yeah.
09:36I was just feeling really insecure because I really like Leo.
09:37I shouldn't have reacted that way.
09:38Yeah.
09:39Okay.
09:40Thanks.
09:42Did you hear about the cake party that's happening tonight?
09:43You should totally come.
09:44All of us lost RV cards at cake parties, didn't we girls?
09:45Totally.
09:46Totally.
09:47Totally.
09:48Totally.
09:49Totally.
09:51Totally.
09:52Totally.
09:54Totally.
09:55Totally.
09:56Totally.
09:57Yeah.
09:58Totally.
09:59Yeah.
10:00Yeah.
10:01Okay.
10:02Thanks.
10:03Did you hear about the cake party that's happening tonight?
10:04You should totally come.
10:06All of us lost RV cards at cake parties, didn't we girls?
10:10Totally.
10:11Totally.
10:12Totally.
10:13Totally.
10:15What the hell, Dora? Do you even live here?
10:32It's so friggin' neat.
10:34I like that it's organized.
10:35What are you doing?
10:40Checking to see if your underwear is color-coded.
10:44You probably have a mass solution of the week on it.
10:50My underwear is none of your business.
10:54I mean, it kind of is.
10:58If you want my help landing Leo.
11:01Can we please stop talking about my underwear?
11:10What are you doing?
11:25You have such incredible eyes, Laura.
11:29I never noticed how beautiful they are before.
11:35They're just eyes.
11:39I have two of them, like everyone else.
11:43Come on, Dora. I was flirting with you.
11:46This is why I need help.
11:51Why couldn't I see what you were doing?
11:54Just be open to signals.
11:56Don't be Dora the Ignorer.
12:00Can I bore you?
12:03Why would you care?
12:06Because you have such beautiful eyes.
12:18You're flirting again?
12:23Yeah, you're supposed to say something flirty back.
12:28Something flirty back.
12:33I know. I will practice on Leo at the party tonight.
12:37What do you think?
12:39Why not?
12:41But just remember, you still got your training wheels on.
12:45Don't expect miracles.
12:47We'll need to have another flirting lesson.
12:50I'll be here for now.
12:51I'll be here for now.
12:52Go out!
12:53I'll be here for now.
12:54Here for now.
12:58What I'm talking about?
12:59I need to do to help you understand.
13:03Alright.
13:04I'll be here for now, though.
13:06I'll be here for now.
13:09Oh, yeah.
13:10I'd love to have some fun things.
13:11that cold oh my god there's leo you're worth a million of him but you have no
13:21idea yeah
13:25hey hey i felt you staring at me from over there was i
13:47i'm sorry if i was weird yesterday you don't gotta say it i mean he's a
13:52bitch and you're awesome hey hey sorry i don't need to interrupt this is cool cool
14:14sorry if i was being great yesterday
14:22you don't gotta say it it's cold okay
14:29yes she does doesn't she girls whatever it is
14:35and i think it is her vagina it's like a vagina only a dryer we call it adora
14:49what the hell do you think you're doing i'm doing nothing she needs you because you're nothing
14:58oh i thought you were talking about how much lube you need she buys an inventi size too
15:07how cute but with how many guys you're seeing it's probably up to trenta right
15:11oh don't you dare laugh it's about me all of a sudden
15:22what do you see in her dora the borer what does her bony body make your boner look bigger
15:38she's great it's as simple as that mindy
15:48do you know what it'll do for my reputation if your first girlfriend after me is some pathetic
15:53little needy virgin why does door being a virgin bother you so much i think it's kind of sweet
16:09this is just the start you sexless ironing board
16:14get ready for the plan i have specifically for you in five minutes
16:31come on i'll tell you something about it
16:36oh wait here i'll grab you some drinks and some snacks
16:51leo i have been in love with you for years i think we'd make a great team i've been saving
16:56myself for you and i want you to be the one to take my virginity before my 18th birthday next month
17:01oh that's a real chick in the lady nuts
17:08could you beat any more dust i don't know can you do it
17:16ready okay take my virginity take my virginity
17:29please stop
17:49please let me go
17:57oh
18:16how young are you
18:17I hope Leo doesn't see me like this.
18:28Please.
18:29Please.
18:30Oh, honey, you wanna go?
18:33Please.
18:35You can go.
18:37We just wanna hear you say it.
18:39One more time.
18:41Say, take my virginity.
18:43Say it! Say it! Say it! Say it!
18:55That's enough!
18:57That's enough!
19:07And you wonder why guys keep leaving you.
19:11I don't care what anyone says.
19:14When someone starts shit with me,
19:16I always finish it.
19:18You're wrong.
19:20I'll finish it.
19:23I'll get you a tissue.
19:24Don't...
19:25...
19:42I'll get you, Tisha.
19:53Sorry.
19:55I'm usually a crier.
19:58You can't let me get to you.
20:01You need to fight back, like with a shark.
20:03You just need to punch her in the nose.
20:09Why do you care if she bullies me?
20:13You remind me of my little sister.
20:18Is she a pitiful virgin loser, too?
20:22I mean, she's eight.
20:24I really hope so.
20:27I remind you of an eight-year-old?
20:33Stop crying.
20:37It's all gonna be okay.
20:38Yeah.
20:41It's easy for you to say.
20:43You have to go to the hockey team.
20:46Everyone loves you.
20:49And I'm just...
20:52Dora.
20:53I happen to think you're pretty great.
21:03And that should count for something, since I'm apparently so amazing.
21:07I thought you just said that at the party to mess with Mindy.
21:16I said it.
21:17I'm closing my eyes.
21:18Because I meant it.
21:19I'm lying to...
21:21I said it.
21:22I'm closing my eyes.
21:25Because I meant it.
21:26I'm lying to...
21:28I'm typing too.
21:29To...
21:30To...
21:31To...
21:32To...
21:34to...
21:36to...
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