- avant-hier
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AmusantTranscription
00:00The first time I got checked was at RAW airport and I was coming back from Morocco.
00:05In fact, I had a flight from Casablanca to Paris, a connection in Paris and then a flight from Paris to Strasbourg.
00:11Of course, I was taking Royal Air Maroc which, as its name suggests, because it's called RAM, RAM, is never on time.
00:18Wow, this company is never on time.
00:21But that's why we love it, that's why we love it.
00:23So, I arrived in Paris late.
00:25Of course, my plane Roya, it didn't wait for me.
00:28It left so well that night I slept at the hotel and the next day I took my plane to Strasbourg.
00:37Oh yeah, Strasbourg I arrived there and was relaxing.
00:41There I was relaxing.
00:42I was walking, I got my suitcase, everything was going well.
00:45My friend was waiting for me, normal, but between me and my friend, there were some police officers.
00:50They said to me, hello, how are you?
00:52I said, alhamdulillah, and you?
00:53They said, yes, go ahead.
00:55And then, he started asking me questions.
00:56I said, wow, Allah, a surprise interview.
00:59I didn't study, but hey, take it easy with the questions, please.
01:02So, let's start at the beginning.
01:03Sir, what's your name?
01:05Well, my name is Nye and everything.
01:06Okay, where are you from?
01:08Morocco.
01:08Oh, what's that like?
01:10No, because there are different types of A in A or A.
01:14But A, that's weird.
01:15I said, what type of A is that?
01:17They told me it's the A6P types.
01:19I said, where there?
01:20Okay, so, they continued with the questions.
01:22And your suitcase is yours?
01:24No, no, it belongs to my neighbor.
01:25I have it.
01:26Well, yes, it's mine.
01:27What do you mean it's whose?
01:28And who packed it?
01:29She's my grandmother.
01:30My grandmother died 45 years ago.
01:32Who do you want me to be?
01:33It's me.
01:34I'm the one who packed my own suitcase.
01:36Yes, sir, I'm a married man.
01:38Yes, that's nice.
01:39They said to me, so what's in the suitcase?
01:41Okay, go ahead.
01:42It's true, me, grill.
01:43It's true that there's the latest cost set.
01:46Yeah, that's true.
01:47I'm a handsome guy.
01:48No, but sir, seriously, what's there?
01:50But there are clothes.
01:51There's stuff.
01:52I don't know.
01:53What's your laundry?
01:54Ah, because ah, I just understood, because my name is Ains.
01:58I'm from Morocco.
01:59I've been to Vietnam.
02:00Okay, I'm going to do some go fast, but I would have taken a car, not a plane.
02:04What's wrong with that?
02:05My head.
02:06It's, I didn't have time to take the car, that's all.
02:08And in fact, he starts to open the suitcase and pull out what's inside.
02:13Are they really raw?
02:14Are they moving or what's this crazy thing?
02:16Yeah, it's slowly on my underwear.
02:18Plus my underwear had holes in it and everything.
02:21I didn't have time to sew them up.
02:22I know how to make holes but I can't patch them up.
02:24It's been like that since Vietnam.
02:26That's how it is.
02:27Roya.
02:27Stop judging me.
02:28In fact, what they were interested in was a jacket and especially what was inside the
02:33pocket.
02:33And now he continues to ask me questions.
02:36What's inside the pocket?
02:37C4.
02:38No.
02:38Go ahead.
02:39There's some no.
02:40Let's go straight to the point.
02:41There's C4.
02:42There's dynamite.
02:43There are lots of things.
02:44But what do you want to know is in a royal pocket?
02:46I don't know.
02:47Maybe some tissues.
02:48Maybe a gun.
02:49Maybe a bazooka.
02:50Is that what you're looking for?
02:51It's a bazooka.
02:52Ah.
02:53He's starting to lose patience.
02:54And so am I.
02:55So what do they do?
02:56Instead of opening the pocket and putting their hands in?
02:58No.
02:58They're scared.
02:59They put the jacket in a scanner.
03:01I say.
03:01We're in a hospital or an airport.
03:03He's putting the jacket in the scanner and the policeman who's looking at the screen.
03:07He says.
03:08Ah.
03:08We're.
03:09The same A as before.
03:10Quote.
03:11No.
03:11That's too many A's.
03:12It wasn't the ah no.
03:14It's another ah.
03:15A disgusting A6P.
03:16He said to me.
03:17What's that on the screen?
03:18I can't see anything.
03:20I say Lana.
03:21I see Lana on the screen.
03:22I don't know anything.
03:23I'm not a screen operator.
03:25I don't know what that is.
03:26Quote.
03:27So the policewoman took the jacket, opened the pocket and took out some gloves.
03:32But she said to me.
03:33But you couldn't have told me that from the start.
03:36I don't know.
03:36I didn't know there were gloves.
03:38There.
03:38I don't know.
03:39In fact.
03:39I think it was my mother Makina.
03:41She wanted to surprise the police.
03:42She put on gloves.
03:43She wanted to give you a hand.
03:44She gave me gloves.
03:45What are you saying?
03:46That's how it is.
03:47Surprise.
03:47The Moroccan.
03:48No.
03:48I didn't know.
03:49I didn't know.
03:50Even I didn't know.
03:50Quote.
03:51I said.
03:51Oh.
03:51That's fine.
03:52At one point.
03:53They made me doubt myself.
03:54I said.
03:54Hey.
03:54Imagine.
03:55There's my cousin.
03:56He played a bad joke on me.
03:57He put bullets.
03:58Ammunition.
03:58Four kilograms of hashish in me.
04:00Oh my.
04:00What a surprise.
04:01Oh my.
04:02Seriously.
04:02At one point.
04:03I got scared.
04:04They made me doubt myself.
04:05It's crazy.
04:06I fold up my clothes.
04:07I pick up my suitcase and I go through customs.
04:09And then the policeman.
04:10Another policeman.
04:11He asks me a question and I laugh.
04:13He says.
04:14Why are you laughing?
04:15I said.
04:16But wait.
04:16What do you mean I have money?
04:18But he said.
04:18I didn't ask you if you had money.
04:20But if you had capital.
04:22I said.
04:23Oh.
04:23But I should have said that from the start.
04:25You too.
04:26It's crazy.
04:27And you're all jokers here.
04:28We're all jokers.
04:30Mish.
04:31And the second time I got stopped by the police was at the Nancy train station.
04:35Yeah sir.
04:36I was waiting for a train.
04:38I was late so I started running and everything and then I saw three guys looking at me.
04:42Come on.
04:42I look at them.
04:43He looks at me again.
04:44I look at them again.
04:45He looks at me again three times.
04:47I look at them four times.
04:48Roy.
04:49I say.
04:49Yeah.
04:50He's not taking his eyes off me.
04:51Are you okay?
04:52Are you okay?
04:52They say police check.
04:54Ah.
04:55Oh no.
04:56What a surprise.
04:57Oh my.
04:57You really got me there.
04:59Huh?
04:59You really got me there.
05:00It was the plainclothes police.
05:02He puts his armband on like this.
05:03I say football team.
05:04What's Z?
05:05There's a game on.
05:06You don't even know.
05:07Captain.
05:07Are you the captain?
05:08He says to me.
05:09Sir.
05:09Stop kidding.
05:10I say.
05:10Oh.
05:10Excuse me.
05:11Excuse me.
05:11Sorry.
05:12I wanted to lighten the mood a little bit.
05:13Okay.
05:13They say to me.
05:14What are you doing here?
05:15What are you doing?
05:16I'm in a train station with a suitcase.
05:18You ask me what I'm doing.
05:20What do you think I'm doing?
05:23I'm on a date.
05:24I'm preparing to move.
05:25I'm cutting some salt.
05:27What do you want me to do in a train station with a suitcase?
05:30Well.
05:31Nothing.
05:31I'm waiting for a train.
05:33What do you want me to wait for?
05:34A plane?
05:34But that's crazy.
05:36And sometimes the questions you ask are like.
05:38Oh.
05:39Okay.
05:39You're waiting for a train and where are you going like that?
05:42Well.
05:43I'm going to Paris.
05:44Oh.
05:45This time it wasn't an A.
05:46It was in Paris.
05:47Why do that?
05:48I said.
05:49Oh.
05:49Easy.
05:50Easy.
05:50I have an appointment with my accountant.
05:52Hey.
05:52Hey.
05:53Double.
05:53Hey.
05:54What do you mean?
05:55Accountant and all that.
05:56And then I calmly explain to them that I'm a distinguished Arab.
05:59That I have a business.
06:00And I'm a YouTuber.
06:01The wild card.
06:02Oh.
06:02YouTuber.
06:03Oh.
06:03Okay.
06:04Fine.
06:04But they don't take the bait.
06:06I can see it in their eyes.
06:08They're always looking for a juicy detail.
06:10You know?
06:11And then.
06:12They come across the juicy detail they want.
06:14They say to me.
06:15What's that on your back?
06:17I look.
06:18Are you serious?
06:19It's a backpack.
06:20And then.
06:20They say to me.
06:21What's in your backpack?
06:23A laptop.
06:24That's it.
06:25That's it.
06:26And then.
06:26They say to me.
06:27Why?
06:27What do you mean?
06:28Why?
06:28Well.
06:29Yeah.
06:29I'm stupid.
06:30Why did I bring a laptop?
06:31I should have taken my gaming room with me.
06:33I should have taken my desk.
06:35My tower.
06:35My screen.
06:36My keyboard.
06:37My mouse.
06:38Oh my.
06:38But sometimes.
06:39I'm really low.
06:40I don't think.
06:41But because I'm a YouTuber.
06:43I need to work.
06:44So I take my laptop.
06:45And then.
06:45They didn't like my answer.
06:47He pointed at me.
06:48And what do I do against Kefta?
06:50Huh?
06:51That's weird.
06:52That's weird.
06:53Luckily.
06:53They had the reference.
06:55They let me go.
06:55But then I got in trouble.
06:56It's crazy.
06:57What are you doing in a train station?
06:59Nothing.
06:59I'm waiting for your mother.
07:00Yeah.
07:01That's crazy.
07:01Sorry.
07:02No.
07:03But at some point.
07:04Questions like that are weird.
07:05And the third time I got stopped by the police was in Sweden.
07:08Actually.
07:09It was between Denmark and Sweden.
07:11Let me explain.
07:13I landed in Denmark.
07:15But to go to Sweden I took what's called a train.
07:17There's a train.
07:18But Hanala.
07:19It's a ferry train on water.
07:20I looked out the window.
07:21I saw water.
07:22I said.
07:23Wait.
07:23I know I'm Moroccan.
07:24But wait.
07:24That's weird.
07:25Still.
07:26There's too much magic in this whole thing.
07:27The joint and the train were on the water.
07:29And on top of this incredible magic.
07:32There was the police.
07:33Yeah.
07:34The police checking everyone.
07:35Well.
07:36Everyone.
07:36The only foreigner on the train.
07:38Who was it?
07:39It was me.
07:39Guess who got checked?
07:41It was me.
07:42Oh my.
07:42What a surprise.
07:43So.
07:44He introduces himself.
07:45Hello.
07:46Swedish police.
07:47There you go.
07:49Identity check.
07:50Papers.
07:50What do I tell them?
07:51Scissors.
07:52No.
07:53No.
07:53The truth is.
07:54I really wanted to play a joke on them.
07:55But I think I would have ended up in the water.
07:57In truth.
07:57I think I would have ended up in the water.
07:59So I gave them my passport and so on.
08:01They told me.
08:01Okay.
08:02Where are you from?
08:03There.
08:03It was complicated to answer the question RO.
08:05Because I didn't have my complete family tree.
08:07I told them.
08:08Well.
08:08Actually guys.
08:09I was born in France.
08:10But basically I'm Moroccan.
08:11But I was born in France.
08:12But then I left for Saudi Arabia.
08:14And then I came back to France.
08:15On the other hand.
08:16Every summer I went to Morocco.
08:17But every summer I came back to France.
08:19You see.
08:19I looked.
08:20They robbed me.
08:21But they robbed me.
08:22They robbed me straight away.
08:23G down.
08:25I said yeah.
08:26W cal down cal down cal down.
08:28They told me they wanted a clear answer.
08:30I told them.
08:31Okay.
08:31I'm from France.
08:32They said.
08:33Uh.
08:33Given your face.
08:34What do I say?
08:35But wait.
08:36Listen to me carefully.
08:37Mr. Valala.
08:38Okay.
08:39If you come from Valala.
08:40Sweden.
08:41Vikings.
08:42I come from Rattata.
08:43I come from Kia.
08:44I come from Nana.
08:45So be careful.
08:46He said to me.
08:47Okay.
08:47Come on.
08:48Calm down.
08:48Calm down.
08:49Sit down.
08:49Sir.
08:49I said.
08:50Okay.
08:51Okay.
08:51I will sit down on my ass.
08:52I said.
08:53Okay.
08:54I come from France.
08:55But I'm here in Sweden.
08:56In Malmo.
08:57He said to me.
08:58What are you doing in Malmo?
08:59I said.
09:00Well.
09:00It's for work.
09:02I wanted to pretend I bought a Sicario.
09:04Like I had one.
09:05Like I had to kill someone.
09:07I said.
09:07Ah.
09:08It's for work.
09:09Then they said.
09:09But stop acting like a mysterious guy.
09:11Are you serious?
09:12Why are you coming to Malmo?
09:13I said.
09:14It's for work.
09:15They told me.
09:16What?
09:16Wait.
09:17Hey.
09:17Point him back.
09:18Point him back.
09:19Point him back.
09:20Point him back.
09:21I told you no.
09:22I said no.
09:23Easy.
09:24Oh.
09:25I live in Malmo and then I would have pulled the Joker card.
09:29I'm here for work.
09:30I work with Ubisoft.
09:32Oh my.
09:33What a handsome guy.
09:35And I suddenly lightened the mood.
09:37Except that they asked me a question again.
09:39They said.
09:40Okay.
09:40Ubisoft.
09:41But why do that?
09:42And basically.
09:43I had an OP for the game The Division 2.
09:46And then.
09:47I started doing the mysterious guy again in Sicario mode.
09:50You know.
09:50I told them.
09:51Guys.
09:52I can give you some clues because I'm a mysterious guy.
09:55End of the world.
09:56Post-apocalyptic.
09:58C4.
09:59Firearm.
10:00Assault rifle.
10:01Ammunition.
10:02Astagfa.
10:03They pointed at me.
10:04They pointed at me.
10:05I said it.
10:06Guys.
10:06Guys.
10:07Calm down.
10:07Guys.
10:08I'm a former Vietnam vet.
10:10I know what you've been through.
10:11Easy.
10:12Guys.
10:13Let go of those guns.
10:14We're on the same side.
10:16You and I started to get into a negotiation.
10:18It's like I was in a cop shop.
10:19Don't worry guys.
10:21Just do my job.
10:22Okay.
10:23It's nothing personal.
10:24It's just business.
10:26Okay.
10:27Manolo.
10:27Okay.
10:28Okay.
10:29Take it easy.
10:29Take it easy.
10:30And so.
10:31They let me go.
10:32What he didn't know was that I had C4 in the suitcase.
10:35And yeah.
10:36My friend.
10:37But he didn't know that.
10:38Shh.
10:38Mom's the word in my mouth explodes.
10:41Did you get it?
10:42And there you have it.
10:43Those were the three times I got stopped by the police.
10:46Subscribe.
10:46Leave a like.
10:47There you have it.
10:48I'm so hot.
10:49This is crazy.
10:50This story got me hot.
10:51And I'm going to go freeze my butt off somewhere.
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