- yesterday
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Do I smell Mom's special chicken noodle soup?
00:07That's right.
00:08Box of lipsticks and a cut-up hot dog.
00:11Man, that woman can cook.
00:15What are you so happy about?
00:16It's Michael. He's sick.
00:18And that's a good thing?
00:19Yeah. A sick boy needs his mother.
00:21I'm necessary again.
00:25Oh, look at him.
00:26He looks so pale.
00:30Dude, you look awful.
00:31Yeah, I feel awful. I think I got the flu.
00:34Don't you tease me!
00:37Come on, sit down, honey. I want to take your temperature.
00:39Do you have a thermometer?
00:40I think I do, yeah.
00:41When I left Days of Our Lives, I took a whole box of stuff.
00:45They just let you take all that stuff?
00:47Then you shove it down your pants. I don't seem to mind.
00:51Why is there writing all over everything?
00:53Oh, that's dialogue.
00:54I used the props as cheat sheets
00:56when I had to remember difficult medical jargon.
00:58Hi, I'm Dr. Ramore.
01:02That took 20 takes.
01:05Yeah, this stuff really takes me back.
01:08All those years playing a doctor,
01:09I feel like I actually became one, you know?
01:11And these were the tools of my trade.
01:14Knee hammer.
01:17Ear looker.
01:20Oh, necklace.
01:21Oh, necklace.
01:22Oh, necklace.
01:23Oh, necklace.
01:24Oh, necklace.
01:25Oh, necklace.
01:26Oh, necklace.
01:27Oh, necklace.
01:28Oh, necklace.
01:29Oh, necklace.
01:30Oh, necklace.
01:31Oh, necklace.
01:32Oh, necklace.
01:33Oh, necklace.
01:34Oh, necklace.
01:35Oh, necklace.
01:36Oh, necklace.
01:37Oh, necklace.
01:38Oh, necklace.
01:39Oh, necklace.
01:40Oh, necklace.
01:41Oh, necklace.
01:42Oh, necklace.
01:43Oh, necklace.
01:44Oh, necklace.
01:45Oh, necklace.
01:46Oh, necklace.
01:47Oh, necklace.
01:48Oh, necklace.
01:49Oh, necklace.
01:50All right, it's all right.
01:51You want to be all right.
01:53You got to watch all right.
02:01Hi, I'm here to read for the part of Outraged Man.
02:03Just sign in right here.
02:04Like hell, I will.
02:08Sorry, I bet people have been doing that all day.
02:10Nope, you're the only one.
02:12All right.
02:13There are a lot of people here for such a small part.
02:22There are no small parts.
02:24Only small actors.
02:27You mean children?
02:31I kind of need to go over my lines.
02:33Not me, got it all right up here.
02:37Nope.
02:40Hey, buddy, you need to look on?
02:43Yeah, thanks, man.
02:45All right.
02:46Okay, got it.
02:47I'm Brian Michael David Scott.
02:51That's a lot of names.
02:53I'm a lot of actor.
02:56I'm Joey Tribbiani.
02:58Please, I know who you are.
03:00Dr. Drake Ramore from Days of Our Lives.
03:02I'm a big fan of your work.
03:04Really?
03:05Oh, thanks, man.
03:06I'd offer you a Days of Our Lives t-shirt,
03:08but I only got two left,
03:10and I like to trade those for sacks.
03:13So I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other.
03:15You know, probably up for a lot of the same roles.
03:17Male, mid-30s, dangerous, but sensitive.
03:22Man, this audition has taken a long time.
03:25I'm gonna call my agent.
03:28Speed dial.
03:29Hi, Lisa, it's Brian Mai.
03:33Look, huh?
03:34What?
03:34You're kidding.
03:36No, wait, wait.
03:37Don't blame yourself.
03:38I'll call you back.
03:39Bad news, man.
03:40They canceled this audition.
03:42They gave the part to someone else.
03:44And no one here told us?
03:46Now I really am outraged, man.
03:49Well, who'd they give it to?
03:50Probably somebody who's willing to sleep with the producers.
03:53That's how this town works, isn't it?
03:54There, I said it!
03:58I guess we can go, then, huh?
04:00You know what?
04:00You go.
04:01I'm gonna stick around.
04:03My apartment doesn't have air conditioning.
04:08All right.
04:08Really great meeting you, Brian.
04:10Brian Michael, David Scott.
04:12How do you feel about dude?
04:13Awesome, my brother.
04:14All right.
04:15Joey Tribbiani.
04:20Joey.
04:26Hey, did someone say my name?
04:28No, no one did.
04:30But someday soon, everyone will.
04:32I'm gonna go fix you more tea.
04:47Hey, Gina, look, uh, you've been here for a couple days now without a break.
04:51Why don't you let me take over, you know?
04:52Go have a little Gina time.
04:54I don't have Gina time anymore.
04:56I'm a mother.
04:57I don't go out.
04:58I don't go on dates.
04:59I don't have fun.
05:00I don't do anything for myself anymore.
05:02So you got those for Michael?
05:10Yeah.
05:11She's not going anywhere.
05:13How you feeling?
05:14Not great.
05:15But everything's gonna be fine tomorrow.
05:18How do you figure?
05:19Well, if she doesn't leave by then, I'm gonna kill myself.
05:23Don't be so dramatic.
05:25No, she said we're gonna flush my system, Joey.
05:28I don't know what that means.
05:29Yeah, your grandmother was the same way when I was sick.
05:34I've had my system flushed.
05:37Makes you ask yourself some big questions.
05:41Oh, Joey, ready it up.
05:42Michael's about to take his nap in here.
05:43She makes me take a nap every day at one.
05:46Not tomorrow, though.
05:49Fine, all right.
05:49I'll go watch TV in my room.
05:50No, no, no, no, you can't.
05:52I put the humidifier in there.
05:53It's filling up with steam.
05:54What?
05:54Just take over my room?
05:56I got private stuff in there.
05:57Well, if you're worried about me reading your diary, it's too late.
06:01Dear diary, Gina's mean to me.
06:04That's going straight in the book.
06:07Look, Gina, I know Michael's sick, but this is my apartment.
06:09I need some space.
06:11Look, why don't you just go to my place?
06:12You can stay there till he gets better.
06:13I don't want to do that.
06:14There's lasagna in the fridge, and I have Cinemax.
06:17Get me the keys!
06:24No, thank you.
06:25It's easy when the words are this good.
06:29Hey, dude.
06:30Hey, Joey.
06:31How'd you do in there?
06:32Really well.
06:35Hey, I know we're in competition for this thing, but you know what?
06:38If I don't get it, I hope that you do.
06:41How about that?
06:42You are awesome.
06:43No, I'm just Brian Michael David Scott, Joey.
06:46Hey, you added a Joey.
06:50Joey Tribbiani?
06:51Yeah, right here.
06:53Oh, hey, buddy, listen.
06:54I got some inside info on this audition,
06:56and I wouldn't feel right about leaving without sharing it with my new best friend.
07:00Oh, great.
07:01What do you got?
07:02Uh, this casting director is deaf,
07:04so you gotta scream all your lines.
07:08Thanks.
07:08That is good to know.
07:09Come on.
07:13Maybe your husband's funeral isn't the best place to tell you this,
07:17but I love you, Sharon.
07:20I love you with all my heart.
07:22So when will I know if I got it?
07:28That's the middle finger in sign language.
07:37Yeah, well, Mother, I don't understand what you're so upset about.
07:41So they're gonna remove your uterus.
07:43What do you need it for?
07:46Look, I gotta go.
07:48Yeah, I love you, too.
07:49Bye.
07:52Uh, what did you want to see me about?
07:54Yeah, I wanted to explain to you how the business works.
07:57See, you book a job,
07:59and I get 10%.
08:00Do you know what 10% of zero is?
08:03Uh, six goes into four.
08:07God!
08:08I have never wanted to slap you more.
08:12You're screwing up your career.
08:14You don't show up for an audition,
08:16you scream at a casting director.
08:18What, what, the only reason I did that
08:19is because he's deaf.
08:20Who told you that?
08:22Oh, this actor.
08:23I see him at all my auditions.
08:24He gives me pointers.
08:25Oh, wait a second.
08:27Is he the reason why you went into an audition,
08:30you threw away your script,
08:31and you started barking?
08:33Yeah, did I get that part?
08:34Oh, Joey.
08:36He's messing with your head.
08:38What?
08:38Yeah, your little friend
08:40is shoving crap up your pooper.
08:44Joey, you're such a sweet, naive guy.
08:48But you can't let people take advantage of you.
08:51I really liked him.
08:52I can't believe this.
08:54Yeah, well, I can't believe
08:55they take the fat out of my ass
08:56and put it in my lips,
08:57but they do.
09:03But then she surprises me.
09:06Like tonight.
09:07She generously offered me
09:08her place to stay.
09:11Well, I guess that's all for now.
09:13Until tomorrow.
09:17Sincerely,
09:18Love,
09:23Joey.
09:25Joey.
09:25Joey.
09:25Joey.
09:25Joey.
09:26Hey, baby doll.
09:52What?
09:53What?
09:54What?
09:55Who are you?
09:57Who are you?
09:58I'm Roger.
09:59I'm Joey.
10:02Well, that doesn't help us at all.
10:06I'm Gina's boyfriend.
10:08Gina doesn't have a boyfriend.
10:09I'm her brother.
10:10I would know.
10:10You're her brother?
10:12You're not supposed to know about me.
10:14You just pretend you don't know what's going on.
10:16I don't know what's going on.
10:19I have to decide which one of this gets to stay.
10:21Get out of here!
10:22Hey, so I found out about your little secret last night.
10:39Oh, my God.
10:40Last night was Wednesday.
10:41I forgot.
10:42Poor Roger.
10:42Poor Roger?
10:44Poor Roger's bed buddy.
10:45That guy's all hands.
10:50Let's not make a big deal about this, okay?
10:53Just some guy I've been seeing.
10:54Well, so why didn't you just tell me about him?
10:56Because I knew you would tell Michael.
10:57So?
10:58So?
10:58He doesn't like to know about that stuff.
11:00When he was 12 and I was seeing this guy, he built a biodome in the backyard, and he wouldn't
11:05come out until I stopped dating him.
11:06What's a biodome?
11:08It's like a nerd fort.
11:11He's an adult, all right?
11:13If you could tell him if you're dating someone, it's silly not to.
11:20What's going on?
11:24Okay, Michael, come here.
11:25Your mother has something that she wants to tell you.
11:27Have a seat.
11:28Look, you know that I'm a woman, and that I have needs.
11:36Well, I don't like the direction of this at all.
11:40I've been dating somebody.
11:42It's been going on a couple of months now.
11:44Look, I know how sensitive you are.
11:46Are you okay?
11:48I'm fine.
11:50I just, I need some time to process this.
11:52Can you, can you just give me a minute?
11:54Of course.
11:58Yes, yes, yes!
12:06All right!
12:08What am I excited about?
12:11Don't you get it?
12:12She's finally met someone.
12:13Therefore, I'm no longer the only thing in her life.
12:16Wow, that is good.
12:17It's great!
12:18She could fall in love, they could get married.
12:20I mean, what if he's one of those guys who wants to be with her every minute,
12:22and is jealous of her son, and he turns her against me?
12:27Think of it!
12:30Yeah, yeah!
12:31We could be free!
12:32We could do whatever we want!
12:33We could walk around here naked!
12:35We can!
12:36But let's not!
12:39Sorry, buddy.
12:39My parts are begging to breathe.
12:43We need to encourage my mom.
12:45I need to give her my blessing.
12:46Maybe we can have him over here.
12:47Yeah, yeah.
12:48This is incredible!
12:49It's the greatest day of my life!
12:50Come here!
12:52All right, could you just give us a minute?
12:54Yeah.
12:54Hey, Joey!
13:06Listen, I'm next, but a little heads up on this casting director.
13:10She just had a boo job, and if you don't comment on them right away, she'll get very upset.
13:16Not this time, Brian Michael David Scarsh.
13:19Hey, you got it right.
13:20Yeah, I wrote it on my hand, so I wouldn't forget.
13:23Why didn't you just write it on a piece of paper?
13:25Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
13:28Look, I know you've been screwing me out all these jobs, and I want to know why right now.
13:32Okay, okay.
13:33You want to know why?
13:33Yeah.
13:34It's because I'm intimidated by you.
13:37Oh, sure you are.
13:39No, really.
13:40When I saw you at that first audition, I was like, I should just go home.
13:43This guy's amazing.
13:45Yeah, well, the director from yesterday doesn't think so.
13:47I barked at him and licked his face.
13:50I never told you to lick him.
13:51I was in the moment.
13:54I'm sorry I tricked you, but what am I supposed to do?
13:58I'm just a hack who's lucky to get a job.
14:01You're Joey Tribbiani.
14:03You're a real actor.
14:04Hey, look, man.
14:12There are no real actors.
14:14Only small children.
14:18I can't believe I treated you this way.
14:20I want to make it up to you.
14:22I'm next.
14:22They told me, go in whenever you're ready.
14:25You take my place.
14:26I'm not even going to audition.
14:28Really?
14:29Yeah, I've been a jerk.
14:31For me, please.
14:32Please.
14:34Knock him dead.
14:54Damn you!
14:57Pick up milk!
14:59Find Michael David Scott!
15:04I'm okay, you guys.
15:07Roger's going to be here any minute to pick me up.
15:10I mean, are you sure you're okay meeting Roger?
15:12Well, I can't say it's going to be easy, you know,
15:15meeting the guy who's going to take my mother away.
15:17I'll try to keep an open mind.
15:20God, what a knock.
15:21I approve.
15:22Go to him.
15:23Hey, Gina.
15:31Hey.
15:32Roger, you know Joey.
15:33No, we were in bed together.
15:35Hey, don't kiss and tell, Rog.
15:39And I'd like you to meet my Michael.
15:40Hey, what a shaky little man.
15:44He is the chosen one.
15:46Why don't you guys sit down?
15:49Get to know each other.
15:50Hey, hey, hey.
15:53Perhaps a cocktail is in order?
15:55I trust everyone here likes Jaeger.
15:59So, Rog, we are so glad you're with Gina.
16:01We've never seen her happier.
16:03Really?
16:03She's always yelling at me and calling me names.
16:06Oh, no, no, no, no.
16:07That's how we Tribbiani show affection.
16:10Nerd.
16:11Washed-up soap actor.
16:16Virgin.
16:19Here we go.
16:20Three Jaegas and one NyQuil.
16:23Here you go, Papa.
16:24Whoa, did I just call you that?
16:26Felt so natural.
16:28We better get going if we want to make that movie.
16:31I'm just going to go fix my face
16:32so I look presentable for my gentleman friend.
16:36So, Rog, what do you do for a living?
16:46Well, I was working for a big construction company
16:48in Newport, but I lost a toe on the job.
16:51Oh, man.
16:52Whoa.
16:52I'm sorry.
16:53Oh, don't be.
16:54I made a ton of money off it.
16:56I mean, one minute I'm standing on this table saw
16:58drinking beer.
17:01The next minute I got all these suits
17:03shoving checks at me.
17:05Great.
17:05Yeah, but I burnt that money pretty quick.
17:08So I got to figure out a way to get some more cash.
17:10Not another toe?
17:12No, no, no, no.
17:13I'll lose a finger.
17:17I'm thinking about losing a pinky.
17:18And there's so many ways you can lose a finger.
17:20You got drills, saws, sanders, punch presses.
17:24Whoops!
17:25Better get used to not using that one, huh?
17:27Well, work's not everything.
17:32I'm sure you have some cool hobbies.
17:34Like a nice pair of jeans.
17:40Jeans?
17:41That's a hobby?
17:42I'm not a professional or anything.
17:45I should probably get going.
17:48Okay.
17:49It was really good to meet you guys.
17:50And a little tip.
17:52You slip in the movie theater bathroom
17:53and hit your head in the sink.
17:55Free popcorn.
17:56What's the matter with you?
18:05Don't be doing this.
18:07That's Roger after his next job.
18:09Okay, so he's different.
18:12Joey, the important thing is he likes her
18:14and he's taking her off my hands.
18:15Whoa, whoa, whoa, Michael.
18:17That's really selfish.
18:18What's more important,
18:19your space or your mother's happiness?
18:23My space.
18:25And I had to pretend to think about it.
18:35How's your movie?
18:36Eh, we were late.
18:37We drove by a Levi's store
18:38and Roger got sidetracked.
18:43We have to talk.
18:44Michael, anything you want to say
18:46to your mother about Roger?
18:47I think he's a keeper.
18:50No, he's not.
18:51Look, Gina, this guy's a joke.
18:54Look, I know Roger's not the brightest
18:56or the funniest or the most ambitious.
18:59But?
18:59Well, it's not like I have a lot of choices.
19:02Most guys my age are looking to date 20-year-olds,
19:04not go out with someone with a 20-year-old.
19:07He's the best I can do.
19:10I'm not a great catch.
19:11Whoa, what are you talking about?
19:13You could always have anyone you wanted.
19:14That was a long time ago, Joey.
19:16Now I take what I can get.
19:19Take what you can get?
19:22Mom?
19:23No, that's not okay.
19:25You're...
19:25You deserve a lot better.
19:32I thought you liked him.
19:34I did.
19:35But that's when I was lying.
19:39I just thought that it would be good for you
19:41to have someone in your life
19:43so you wouldn't have to worry about me so much.
19:45You know?
19:45I mean, I am a grown man.
19:48You're gonna fill out some, right?
19:49And you are a catch.
19:55Are you kidding me?
19:56You're smart and you're funny
19:57and you're beautiful.
19:59All my friends have crushes on you, Mom.
20:01Yeah, well, I'm like the third girl
20:03those guys have seen.
20:03You just gotta hold out
20:08until you find someone great, okay?
20:11And when you do,
20:13even that guy's not gonna be good enough
20:14as far as I'm concerned.
20:16Oh, Joey.
20:19And, you know,
20:19I wasn't gonna tell you this before, but...
20:22my fever's back.
20:24Oh, you're so good to me.
20:33Okay, look,
20:34I know you're probably still mad
20:36about that stairwell thing,
20:38but, you know, I saved your life.
20:40Right after you got locked in there,
20:41three masked gunmen burst into the...
20:43No more crap!
20:44Up my pooper!
20:47You are about to be very sorry
20:48you ever messed with Joey Tribbiani.
20:51Did you get a phone call
20:51from your agency this morning?
20:53Hello, Bry-My, it's Lisa.
20:55The location of your audition's been changed.
20:57What?
20:58The location wasn't changed.
21:00That audition is going on right now
21:01on the other side of town.
21:02My brother.
21:03Huh?
21:05I was perfect for that part!
21:07Yeah, well, too bad.
21:08So you better think long and hard
21:10before you mess with me again,
21:11because from now on,
21:12I'm fighting back.
21:13Are we clear?
21:14Yeah.
21:15Except for one thing.
21:17If I'm missing that audition...
21:18Oh, yeah.
21:21Aren't you missing it, too?
21:28Come on, I'll give you a ride!
21:29Right on!
21:33Let's go, Dad!
21:35Let's go, Dad!
Recommended
21:41
|
Up next
1:50:34
27:24
2:43
2:51
2:22
21:41
1:50:37
1:26:17
1:38:33
1:13:23
1:23:59
1:15:00
1:10:04