In this video, I explore 7 types of couples — and the one type of couple that builds lasting, unbreakable love. Whether you're in a relationship, married, or trying to make sense of your love life, understanding the psychology of relationships can shift everything.
These 7 types of couples show up everywhere — the codependent couple, the competitive couple, the avoidant couple, the roommate couple, the social media couple, the volatile couple, and more. But there’s one conscious couple that does things differently — and they hold the key to unbreakable love.
This isn’t just theory. These relationship dynamics are backed by science — from Dr. John Gottman to Sue Johnson’s emotionally focused therapy, and the 80-year Harvard study on happiness. If you want to stop repeating unhealthy relationship patterns and start building conscious connection, this is for you.
We dive deep into what makes love last, how to avoid the slow erosion that ends most relationships, and how to turn awareness into action. If you're serious about building an unbreakable love, this video will change how you see your relationship — and yourself.
Watch, reflect, and ask: what kind of couple are you... and what kind of couple do you want to become?
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00:00Some couples walk through the world like they were made for each other.
00:06They laugh easily, finish each other's thoughts.
00:10They look like love was written in their DNA.
00:13But behind closed doors, something is missing.
00:17Other couples clash, different in every way.
00:21Logic says they shouldn't work, but somehow they do.
00:25They weather storms.
00:27They emerge stronger, deeper, more connected.
00:31Why?
00:32What makes love last through time and hardship?
00:35Why do some couples evolve while others quietly erode?
00:39It's not luck.
00:40It's not about soul mates or perfect compatibility.
00:44And it's certainly not about avoiding conflict.
00:47It's about awareness.
00:48About how we show up.
00:50About what we do after the fairy tale ends.
00:54It's about how you love and who you become through that love.
00:59So ask yourself, what kind of couple are you?
01:02And more importantly, what kind of couple could you become if you dared to look deeper?
01:08Stay with me.
01:09Because over the next few minutes, we'll explore seven types of couples you'll probably recognize.
01:15And one type, just one, that holds the secret to building a love that doesn't just survive, but transforms you.
01:26Let's begin with a true moment.
01:29I was sitting across from a couple in a private session.
01:32On paper they were perfect.
01:34Smiling, polite, well dressed, saying all the right things.
01:39But something felt hollow.
01:41I gently asked, when was the last time you felt truly seen by each other?
01:47The room fell silent.
01:49She looked away.
01:50Her smile faltered.
01:52He stared at the floor.
01:53And that silence?
01:55It said more than words ever could.
01:57This is far more common than you'd think.
02:00Because love doesn't usually die with a bang.
02:03It fades in silence.
02:05It disappears in missed moments.
02:07In words left unsaid.
02:09In disconnection we normalize.
02:11We think lasting love is about not fighting.
02:14But research from relationship expert, Doctor.
02:18John Gottman reveals something deeper.
02:21It's not whether you fight.
02:23It's whether you repair.
02:24Love lasts when it feels safe.
02:27When it's conscious.
02:28When it's tended to.
02:30So today, we're not here to judge anyone.
02:33We're here to reflect.
02:35To grow in awareness.
02:37To learn how to love with eyes wide open.
02:40One.
02:41The codependent couple.
02:43This couple seems close.
02:45Inseparable.
02:46They spend every moment together.
02:48They say the same things.
02:50They claim they can't live without each other.
02:52It sounds romantic.
02:54But beneath the surface, one or both people feel like they can't exist alone.
02:59They've merged.
03:01But not in wholeness.
03:03In fear.
03:04In codependent relationships.
03:06Identity dissolves.
03:08You become who your partner needs you to be.
03:11Their emotions become yours.
03:13Their pain becomes yours.
03:15And your sense of self begins to disappear.
03:18This isn't love.
03:19It's survival.
03:21True intimacy requires boundaries.
03:24A healthy I within a strong we.
03:28Ask yourself.
03:29Am I giving love or losing myself in it?
03:32If your wholeness depends on someone else's presence, you're not in a relationship.
03:37You're in captivity.
03:39The competitive couple.
03:41This couple loves each other.
03:43But they also want to win.
03:46Who works harder?
03:47Who's more successful?
03:49Who gives more?
03:50Who sacrifices less?
03:52Even kindness becomes transactional.
03:55It's not a partnership.
03:57It's a scoreboard.
03:58This dynamic often comes from unhealed self-worth.
04:03Each partner is trying to prove something.
04:06Often not to each other.
04:08But to themselves.
04:10They confuse respect with dominance.
04:13Love with leverage.
04:15When ego leads the relationship, the connection becomes a tug of war.
04:20The truth is, in real love, there are no winners.
04:24Only teammates.
04:25Ask yourself.
04:26Am I trying to win?
04:28Or am I trying to connect?
04:303.
04:31The roommate couple.
04:33They share space.
04:34Share responsibilities.
04:35Maybe even a bed.
04:37But emotionally?
04:38They live separate lives.
04:40No fights.
04:41No passion.
04:42Just routine.
04:43Logistics.
04:44Silence.
04:45They operate like housemates.
04:47Sometimes like colleagues.
04:49But not like lovers.
04:50This emotional disconnect is often a form of self-protection.
04:54Somewhere along the way, feelings became unsafe.
04:57So they shut down.
04:59Not with cruelty, but with quiet detachment.
05:02The tragedy is, they stop reaching.
05:05And without reaching, there's no relating.
05:08Ask yourself.
05:09When's the last time you looked at your partner?
05:12Not as a task, but as a gift?
05:154.
05:16The social media couple.
05:18Online.
05:19They're flawless.
05:20Perfect vacation.
05:22Coordinated outfits.
05:24Captions full of love.
05:26But behind the filters, they're barely talking.
05:29They touch their phones more than each other.
05:32They seek likes instead of intimacy.
05:35This is called performative intimacy.
05:37The image of love becomes more important than the experience of it.
05:42And over time, this illusion creates loneliness.
05:46Because love cannot grow in an audience.
05:49It grows in quiet, private, unfiltered connection.
05:53Ask yourself, are we connecting or just curating?
05:585.
05:59The volatile couple.
06:01They fight hard.
06:02Love harder.
06:03Break up.
06:04Make up.
06:05Over and over.
06:06They call it passion.
06:08But really, it's chaos.
06:10This is a trauma bond.
06:11Fueled by highs and lows.
06:13Intensity and instability.
06:15One partner may fear abandonment.
06:18The other fears being engulfed.
06:20Together, they cycle through conflict and closeness like a drug.
06:24It's addictive.
06:25But it's not safe.
06:26Ask yourself, does this fire keep us warm or is it burning us alive?
06:326.
06:33The avoidant couple.
06:35No fighting.
06:36No conflict.
06:37But also, no depth.
06:40They avoid difficult conversations.
06:42Suppress emotions.
06:44Distract themselves with work.
06:46Kids.
06:47Screens.
06:48Anything but each other.
06:49Conflict feels dangerous.
06:51Vulnerability feels like exposure.
06:54So they stay on the surface.
06:56But surface love can't hold weight.
06:59Eventually, everything buried becomes a wall.
07:02Ask yourself, what am I afraid to say out loud?
07:06The hardest conversations are often the ones that bring us closest.
07:117.
07:12The conscious couple.
07:14This couple is not perfect.
07:16But they're intentional.
07:17They fight, but they repair.
07:20They communicate.
07:21Not to win, but to understand.
07:24They grow.
07:25Not just individually, but as a shared vision.
07:28They make space for each other's truth.
07:31They stay curious.
07:33They stay committed.
07:34Not just to staying together, but to becoming better together.
07:38This is secure love.
07:41Built on self-awareness, emotional responsibility, and mutual respect.
07:47They know that love isn't something you fall into.
07:50It's something you build.
07:52Brick by brick.
07:53Choice by choice.
07:55Ask yourself, are we growing together or just growing older?
08:00This isn't opinion.
08:02It's not theory.
08:03It's science.
08:04A groundbreaking Harvard study that spanned over 80 years found this.
08:10The single most important factor for long-term happiness is the quality of our closest relationships.
08:18Dr. Sue Johnson's research on emotionally focused therapy shows that couples who learn how to turn toward each other during conflict build more lasting intimacy.
08:29And Dr. Stan Tatkin's work in the neurobiology of love confirms,
08:34We are biologically wired to connect, but that connection only thrives when we feel safe, seen, and supported.
08:44So no.
08:45This isn't romantic fluff.
08:47It's neuroscience.
08:48It's psychology.
08:50It's your future, waiting to be written differently.
08:54So now, ask yourself again.
08:57What kind of couple are you?
09:00And more importantly, what kind of couple do you want to be?
09:04You don't have to repeat the patterns you grew up watching.
09:08You don't have to stay stuck in a cycle of disconnection.
09:12You don't have to accept a version of love that makes you smaller, quieter, or more alone.
09:18You can choose again.
09:19You can heal.
09:20Alone or together.
09:22It begins with awareness.
09:24So take a breath.
09:26Take a look.
09:27Take a step.
09:28And remember, your relationship will only grow as deep as you're willing to go with yourself.
09:34Because the relationship you're in is always a mirror of the one you have within.
09:40Heal the mirror and the love becomes clear.
09:43Subscribe to Dovey Hearts for more.
09:52Or more quickly.
09:54If you find yourself in the mirror.
09:55In my opinion.
09:56You see the relationship with others.
09:57You see the relationship with others.
09:58Use a spiritual coster, and running in circles.
10:00So go away.
10:01Maybe you leave your meaning, where we're able to see you together.
10:03Once you do, follow me on the way.
10:04Your relationship will keep your mind when husband back time.
10:05So do we want to do our relationship with others.
10:07So do we want to get rid of you.
10:09It seems the relationship with karmaibalism.
10:11It seems the relationship with Monsieur Luna miles.
