00:00It is really tricky with young kids but there's lots of things that parents can do from a
00:05really young age and research shows that teaching kids the correct name for their genitals, so using
00:10the names like penis, scrotum, vulva, vagina, this can be really protective and this can start from
00:16a very young age and using times like bath time, nappy changes and getting dressed to use these
00:22words and using this correct language it gives kids ownership over these parts of their bodies
00:27and helps them understand that they're private just for them and gives them the language to talk
00:31and ask questions with the trusted adult if something ever feels wrong or not quite right.
00:36All right so how detailed though do you get about this without frightening kids
00:41or without jeopardising their innocence? Do you warn about what could happen, what's wrong, what's right?
00:49It's a great question, so using the correct terms for body languages and and talking about feeling
00:54unsafe and unsafe is never going to jeopardise children or make them feel worried about these
01:02things. What it is, what it does do, it teaches them to trust their gut, so helping them understand
01:06that they're in control of their own body and this can start in really simple ways like around consent,
01:12they don't have to hug, kiss or you know even sit on the lap of a friend or relative if they don't want
01:17to if they don't feel comfortable and this can be hard for parents as it as when there's can sometimes
01:23be a social expectation that kids do give nan and pop or other family members a hug or kiss goodbye but
01:28it's really important. We can do other things like offer a high five or a wave or I know for my three
01:34year old it's it's often nothing and that that's really okay and we have to teach them that to trust
01:38what how they feel and helping children trust their gut from a really young age around what feels
01:43comfortable um can help them know if something doesn't feel right in other situations um and
01:50and um and this means that um that they can they learn around who feels safe and who doesn't we can
01:58start having conversations around this from a really early age as well around how they're feeling
02:04whether there are people around them that makes that ever makes them feel yucky or strange inside so
02:09we can use those types of words rather than getting into the nitty-gritty detail of what could happen
02:14we just want to keep talking to them about what what feels good for them and helping them make sense
02:19of things that might feel yucky or strange or not not comfortable for them sure reinforcing that they
02:25have the right to feel safe with with all people is really important absolutely but Ali the children
02:30involved in this week's revelations were so young the oldest was two so you can't talk to them as you
02:36would an older child how young is too young to broach body safety and the rest and and how do you
02:42do it if kids language skills just aren't there yet it is really tricky when we're talking about very
02:47young infants or toddlers who don't have that language and we also know that even older kids
02:52might not directly disclose so with the very young children like infants where language isn't an option
02:58you know parents and caregivers can look out for physical signs like pain or itching or bruising
03:03or bleeding around the genital areas they might also notice that children might engage in sexualized
03:09play and that can be a sign to investigate things a little bit further and there might be other signs
03:13as well like developmental delay so infants or children not meeting milestones that you would
03:18expect or you might notice changes or regression in their behaviors they might be crying more
03:24being more unsettled or changes to their sleep but it's also important to know that these can also be
03:29just a sign of normal developmental changes or leaps but it's always important to reach out to your gp or
03:35trusted mental health professional for more support around these issues if we're not sure as we've
03:40already said the children allegedly involved in the victorian child care case they're so young aren't
03:46they two being the oldest is it likely that a child would remember any abuse if it allegedly happened
03:53before the age of two it's a great question and what we do know is that infants and very young
03:58children who experience trauma can be impacted even if they don't directly recall the events so for
04:04example we might see that as these children grow up they might experience more emotional behavioral
04:09challenges or we might see some of the types of aggressions that i just spoke about in terms of
04:13their behavior but what we also know is that there's lots of supports that can be put in place to buffer the
04:19impacts of these such events these events like creating safe places for the children where they
04:24have their emotional and physical needs met and where they can have safe conversations with trusted
04:28adults to talk about things strong family and community support is really essential and they may
04:34not necessarily but they may need professional support at some point to help them develop emotion
04:39regulation strategies and to make sense of what they might be experiencing in their body when they feel
04:44scared or angry or experience other big emotions finally ali what about parents mental health and
04:50perhaps you know feelings of guilt or feeling scared about sending their kids to child care
04:56yeah look it's a really good question and um it's a really hard time for all parents
05:01and definitely not you know there should be no guilt around sending kids to daycare or
05:05child care it's never the victim's fault parents have the right to know that their child
05:09are going to it's going to be safe when they drop them off at daycare or school or sporting clubs or
05:14other places and it's also important to remember that there's some incredible benefits of daycare and
05:19early learning environments for our children and the reality is that most families use daycare as
05:24part of their village and the community and that these places really need to be a safe space
05:28a safe space dr ali fogerty thank you so much thanks very much
05:33thank you so much
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