00:00Lisa Rowland, do you take John Dawson to be your lawful husband?
00:08Liar! You said that I was the love of your life! That you would marry me! How could you break your vow?
00:34Who are you? I... this crazy... I don't know this crazy lady!
00:38No? What about Leach?
00:48You cheated on me?
00:51No!
00:52We're done.
00:54Lisa, wait. No, Le... Lisa, I don't... That's not...
00:58Somebody stop them!
01:00They pay, I slay. As you can see, I'm a gig worker. The gig, revenge for Hyde. Just saved an innocent girl from one of the scumbags at the top of my hate list.
01:22Yeah!
01:28Scratch that. The one I hate most? Benjamin freaking Sparrow.
01:34Quarterback for the Washington Badgers.
01:38He's a dirty cheat who snatched the wind from my favorite player.
01:42He's a dirty cheat. He is pretty huge.
01:44But he sees him in the universe, the one he's a dirty cheat.
01:46This is Patrick told the guy who's in my favorite country.
01:49He's a dirty cheat. He's a dirty cheat guy!
01:51He's a dirty cheat guy! He's a dirty cheat guy!
01:53Don't bother talking about reading pre-didditch!
01:54Don't bother talking about writing, his words?
01:56He's a dirty cheat guy!
01:58He's a dirty cheat guy. He's a dirty cheat guy, man.
02:00We keep this guy. He's a dirty cheat guy!
02:04I love you!
02:14Incredible play, Benjamin.
02:19Those girls in the stands, they're going to eat you alive.
02:22You get the girls, Coach.
02:24All I need right now is shower.
02:34God, I think I turned into this shit.
02:50Uh...
02:53This is...
02:55Benjamin Sparrow's jersey.
03:00Well...
03:05Tough luck, buddy.
03:07Hard times.
03:27Sorry.
03:29Wait a second.
03:30This is my room!
03:32What are you doing in my room?
03:37Hey!
03:38That's my jersey!
03:39Fuck!
03:46What is this?
03:51Steve!
03:52Come back here!
03:54What?
04:00Jesus!
04:01Got you!
04:02Delete it, man.
04:03I'll pay you, alright?
04:04You rivals offer me more.
04:06You guys fucking killed me.
04:08I don't care who you are, or where you're hiding.
04:19I'm going to find you, and you'll pay for this.
04:28Yeah, I'll hear what the hell I want, alright, buddy?
04:31Benjamin Sparrow.
04:32This is Justin.
04:33I'm going to drag you through hell.
04:34I know, Mr. Bayer!
04:36I know, Mr. Bayer!
04:37I'll catch up on rent by the end of the month.
04:38I just...
04:39need more time.
04:41How the hell am I supposed to pay rent?
04:42And for...
04:43I know, Mr. Bayer!
04:44I'll catch up on rent by the end of the month.
04:45I just...
04:46need more time.
04:47How the hell am I supposed to pay rent and cover my family's medical bills by the end of the month?
04:57God, if you're listening, maybe drop ten million dollars by the way?
04:58Uh, hey?
04:59I mean, I'm just gonna...
05:00I know, Mr. Bayer!
05:01I'll catch up on rent by the end of the month.
05:02I just...
05:03need more time.
05:04How the hell am I supposed to pay rent and cover my family's medical bills by the end of the month?
05:12God?
05:13If you're listening, maybe drop ten million dollars by way?
05:23Uh, hey?
05:25Hey?
05:29Hi!
05:38What are you doing?
05:49This is my house!
05:51Get out!
05:52Are you feeling a little nervous?
05:54Naughty or neither?
05:55Well, let me tell you something. Your hospitality is just as awful as your taste.
06:00Which seems to be absolute shit.
06:03Get out or I'm calling the cops for trespassing.
06:06Oh, you're gonna call the cops. Go ahead.
06:08That's perfect timing. I'll be suing you for theft and defamation.
06:12You will be sued for theft and defamation.
06:14And don't forget about the reputational damage and the emotional damage.
06:18You're getting sued for 10 million dollars.
06:2010 million?
06:21Yeah.
06:22That's ridiculous!
06:25Hey, buddy. It's 2025. If you wanna wear a dress, you don't have to lie about it.
06:33If you wanna be mad at someone, be mad at the reporters.
06:36It's not my fault. Sue them for your reputational damage. Not me.
06:41Not your fault.
06:44I dare you. I dare you!
06:47Say it again!
06:50It's not my fault.
06:52It's not my fault.
06:53Mm-hmm.
06:58Hey, you caused this mess. Now you're acting like a victim? You're gonna pay for this. Do you understand?
07:03No!
07:04Hell no!
07:05Get over here!
07:06Stop!
07:07Get over here!
07:08What are you doing?
07:09No!
07:10No!
07:11No!
07:12Ooh!
07:13Ooh!
07:14Ooh!
07:15Ooh!
07:16Ooh!
07:17Hmm!
07:18Ooh!
07:19Ooh!
07:20Ooh!
07:21Oh!
07:22Ooh!
07:23What the hell was that?
07:31Hey, my boy.
07:32Is everything okay?
07:33Yes, mother.
07:34Saw the news.
07:35Is that why you keep rejecting all the matches I set up for you?
07:38Because you're...
07:39Slow down.
07:40Slow down.
07:41What are you...
07:42Look, what are you talking about?
07:44It's all going to be fixed very soon.
07:46Very soon.
07:46Look, I gotta go.
07:47All right?
07:47Bye.
07:53Marry me or pay me $10 million.
07:58Those are your two choices.
08:03Those are your two choices.
08:05Marry you?
08:07In your dreams.
08:10Maybe if you had the face of Paris, I'd consider it.
08:16That guy plays Danny on the field.
08:18What's so great about him?
08:19Well, that's too bad for you because you have two choices.
08:25Marry me or pay up.
08:29That's not fair.
08:31All I did was steal your jersey.
08:33Yeah, and I got caught on camera.
08:35And now my reputation is screwed.
08:37I'm the laughingstock.
08:38Okay.
08:38People think that I am confused about my sexuality, my family is worried, sick.
08:43And this is the mess that you've caused.
08:45Okay, well...
08:47Look.
08:49Here's the deal.
08:50Marry me for one year and I'll pay you $5 million.
08:54I mean, you're a gig worker, right?
08:56You take whatever job comes your way as long as the money's good.
08:59Right?
09:00$5 million?
09:02Is God really listening?
09:03That would cover my rent for Grandma's medical bills.
09:07Fine.
09:09Deal.
09:10Perfect.
09:12Ow!
09:12Ow!
09:20This one.
09:22Hmm.
09:23Excellent choice, sir.
09:25That is a rare Asher cut with flawless clarity.
09:30So?
09:31Oh.
09:31Oh.
09:33Oh.
09:35Valued at $3 million.
09:37There's only two in the world.
09:39The other one is with a royal wife and a very distinct number.
09:43Uh, that's way too expensive.
09:45Do you have like a cheaper one?
09:47Something less expensive?
09:48A couple hundred dollars?
09:50You're funny.
09:52People will think I'm broke.
09:59Can we try this one?
10:01Oh, yes.
10:02And I'll get something very nice for you to try on, Mr. Sparrow.
10:06We'll see you in a bit, all right?
10:11Thanks.
10:16I'm actually marrying my idol's arch enemy.
10:20This can't be real, right?
10:23Am I dreaming?
10:25No.
10:27No.
10:28I'm sorry.
10:28No.
10:30No.
10:39No.
10:39Cause baby it's like a light storm
10:44To be yours
10:49Finding freedom in the downpour
10:54You're like a light storm
11:09You're very beautiful
11:16Can you help Ty up?
11:19Yeah
11:24That is so sweet
11:28You look absolutely perfect together
11:30Such a stunning couple
11:32No, no we're not
11:33Ty, hold on
11:35My hand
11:37What is this?
11:38Ow
11:40Just let me fix it
11:41Hold on
11:58Thanks
12:00Let's go home
12:02First
12:05Party B shall not covet party A's body or engage in any physical contact
12:10Second
12:11During cohabitation
12:12Party B must protect party A's reputation and remain loyal and faithful
12:16Third
12:17What the hell is this?
12:19It's a marriage contract
12:21Sign it
12:22I already did
12:23Fine
12:24Can I go now?
12:25Hold on where do you think you're going?
12:26We're living together for now on
12:28You're coming home with me
12:29I have to get my things
12:30Okay
12:31Well then I'm coming with you
12:32I don't want anything related to Paris Smith in my house
12:36Not a single thing
12:37Ugh
12:38Whatever
12:39Shoes off
12:40Come in if you want
12:41Just
12:42Come in if you want
12:43Just
12:44Don't touch anything
12:45Don't touch anything
12:46Sigh
12:47Sigh
12:48Sigh
12:49Sigh
12:50Shit
12:51Shit
12:52Shit
12:53Okay
12:54What the hell is this?
12:55I'm coming with you
12:56I don't want anything related to Paris Smith in my house
12:57I don't want anything related to Paris Smith in my house
12:58Not a single thing
12:59Ugh
13:00Whatever
13:01Shoes off
13:06Come in if you want
13:08Just
13:09Don't touch anything
13:10Sigh
13:11Sigh
13:12Sigh
13:13Sigh
13:14Sigh
13:15Sigh
13:16Sigh
13:17Sigh
13:18Sigh
13:19Sigh
13:20Sigh
13:21Sigh
13:22Sigh
13:23Sigh
13:24Sigh
13:25Sigh
13:26Sigh
13:27Sigh
13:28Sigh
13:29Sigh
13:30Sigh
13:31Sigh
13:32Sigh
13:33Sigh
13:34Sigh
13:35Sigh
13:36Sigh
13:37Sigh
13:38Sigh
13:39Sigh
13:40Sigh
13:41Sigh
13:42Sigh
13:43Sigh
13:44Sigh
13:45Sigh
13:46Sigh
13:47Sigh
13:48No!
13:52Fucker!!
13:58My poor petty...
13:59Ugh!
14:01You named that thing?
14:02You'd fucking break.
14:03Out!
14:05Yeah, don't worry.
14:06I'm leaving.
14:06All these perish toxicity levels are driving me crazy.
14:09I can't even breathe.
14:11Sorry for your loss.
14:12I'm sorry. I'll clean this all up, right?
14:38God! God! Jesus!
14:42Don't freak out. Do not freak out. I'll pay for all of this, all right?
14:54You are dead!
14:59Hey! Hey!
15:00Dad!
15:01Dad!
15:02Dad!
15:03Dad!
15:04Dad!
15:05Dad!
15:06Dad!
15:07Dad!
15:08Dad!
15:09Dad!
15:10Dad!
15:11Dad!
15:12Dad!
15:13This is not over!
15:14Oh!
15:15Oh!
15:16Oh!
15:17Oh!
15:18Oh!
15:19Oh!
15:20Oh!
15:21Oh!
15:22Shh!
15:23It's okay.
15:24It's okay baby.
15:26I'm so sorry!
15:27Until next time!
15:37Come on!
15:39Okay?
15:40Good!
15:41I'm so sorry!
15:42Until next time!
15:43Until next time.
15:50Come on!
16:01Hey! Bitch!
16:08Bitch!
16:10Who the hell are you?
16:14Wait! No!
16:16Fucking bitch! You ruined my wedding!
16:18Lisa left me because of you.
16:20You cheated! You deserve this, bastard!
16:22Get away from me! I'm calling you off!
16:24Stop pretending to be some saint!
16:29Um...
16:31Yeah, I'll just do two strawberries, please.
16:34You're just a gig worker.
16:36You'll do anything for money, so drop the act, huh?
16:38Hey, tell you what. How much for a night with me, huh?
16:41In your dreams, asshole!
16:46You know, I've always wondered...
16:48What color are your nipples, huh?
16:51Let go of me!
16:53Let go! Don't touch me!
16:55My husband's Benjamin Sparrow, and if you hurt me, he will end you!
16:58Benjamin Sparrow, the football star?
17:03Please, why would he ever marry you?
17:06Right.
17:07I've posted so much crap about him, and I still think he'll come save me.
