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The twins Sam and Ben Hazelton from Sydney, Australia, are shocked when their parents announce that they are all going to emigrate to Europe for four months: in Germany. They spend the summer with their eccentric, aristocratic relatives, the von Hasenburg family, who live in the remote German Schoneburg Castle. The family fortune has dwindled to almost nothing so Sam and Ben must help them save the castle and turn their fortunes around before bankruptcy descends and centuries of von Hassenburg entitlement comes to an end.

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TV
Transcript
00:00Look up to the ocean, look up to the stars
00:03Now all about you believe
00:06When there's heat, no hope
00:09You can still believe, still believe
00:13In your dreams
00:16In your dreams
00:19In your dreams
00:23In your dreams
00:30After her
00:31Quickly, she mustn't get away
00:40There's no escaping, princess
00:52You will marry me
00:54Never
00:55After her
00:56It's a dead end up there
01:14She's trapped
01:16You better be right
01:17Pointless to defy me, Theresa
01:30Now come, do your duty and return to our wedding
01:34If I can't marry the one I love, then I'll never marry at all
01:37I command you
01:37Stay where you are
01:38Stupid girl, what do you think you're doing?
01:40I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago
01:42I'm getting away from you
01:43This time you'll never catch me again
01:44Ever
01:45No
01:46Cut
01:53That was pathetic
01:55Where's Ben?
01:58What's the problem?
01:59The problem is that the dummy looks like a dummy
02:01It is a dummy
02:02I know it's a dummy
02:03But it's supposed to fall like it's a person
02:05Look at it
02:06It didn't even sink
02:07It's just floating around like some cheap plastic doll
02:11No
02:12No, darling, it's actually quite accurate
02:15Bodies do float in real life
02:16It's the end side of them, you see
02:19Daddy, you're missing the point
02:21This is a film
02:22It's not real life
02:23If we want to save this castle
02:25We have to show the drama
02:26Not give people a biology lesson
02:28Yes, yes, of course, darling
02:30All right, let's try this again
02:32And this time, can we please put some weight in the dummy?
02:35Lily, I have to get something to aid
02:37I'm starving
02:37Honestly, Sam, can't you hold it for 20 more minutes?
02:41No one else is hungry
02:42I am
02:43Me too
02:44I'm famished
02:45I'm sorry, sweetie, but I have to go too
02:47It's nearly three and we've got tourists coming in
02:50I don't believe it
02:52All right, anyone who feels like filling their stomachs is more important than this film
02:57Feel free to leave now
02:58Traitors
03:03Lily, relax, you're too stressed
03:05What am I gonna do, Marcus?
03:08What's wrong with these people?
03:10Well, it has been eight hours since they've eaten
03:13Eight hours?
03:14What's eight hours?
03:15Don't they know we have a crisis on our hands?
03:17Don't they understand that what I'm doing is for them?
03:20You're an artist, Lily
03:21Artists are always misunderstood
03:23Tim Marcus, thank goodness someone around here cares
03:26Can I get you something to eat?
03:28Right now, I couldn't even look at food
03:30Okay
03:31Maybe a salad
03:34A few bits of lettuce or something
03:36No problem
03:37And pasta
03:39A small bowl on the side would be lovely
03:41With bread, of course
03:43And a couple of eggs
03:44But make sure they've boiled for at least five minutes
03:47Got it
03:47And a cake
03:48But just a small one
03:50It'll never work
03:58What?
03:59This film
03:59It's dudes
04:00Do you have to be so positive?
04:02I am positive
04:03Positive bits of turkey
04:04In case you're interested
04:06Although I understand completely if you aren't
04:08Mr Smarty Pants here
04:09Is my non-identical
04:11Twin brother, Ben
04:12Actually, non-identical seriously understates it
04:16No one could be less like me than Ben
04:18Sometimes I can't even believe we're brother and sister
04:21Let alone twins
04:23Why won't it work?
04:25Who's gonna pay good money
04:26To watch a second-rate amateur video
04:28About a princess
04:28No one's ever heard of
04:29And no one cares about
04:30Apart from that?
04:32There is no apart from that
04:33There doesn't need to be an apart from that
04:35This whole thing is a waste of time
04:37Well, do you have any better ideas?
04:39Do you have any ideas?
04:41Give me time
04:41I've really been here a week
04:42That's still no reason to criticise
04:44The only person who's so far come up with something
04:46Good enough reason for me
04:47You know, Ben
04:48You really should text you
04:49No, Sophie, wait
04:50Let me help
04:51It's okay, I can manage
04:53In Australia, it's against the lawn to help beautiful girls
04:56And which lucky dude gets his fodder prepared by the fairest hands in all Germany?
05:00Pudder?
05:01Who's it for?
05:02I think it's mine
05:02Marcus?
05:05Since when did you develop such a huge appetite?
05:07It's for Lily
05:07All this is for Lily?
05:09Directing a film takes enormous energy, you know?
05:12Physically, emotionally, it's like running a marathon
05:14Yeah, with all this inside her, she could run to Africa
05:16Take good care of it, my man
05:18It's being personally prepared by a very close and dear friend of mine
05:22Look out!
05:31Ben, are you alright?
05:32I think so
05:33Yeah
05:34Yeah, I'll be fine
05:36What am I gonna tell Lily?
05:40By now you're probably thinking that this is the kind of place where very little goes right
05:44Right?
05:45Well, you'd be wrong
05:46The truth is, nothing goes right
05:48You don't believe me?
05:50Okay, check this out
05:52Welcome everyone
05:57Welcome to the home of the Van Hasburg
05:59Where history meets the present and the present meets history
06:03Come along everyone, don't be shy
06:07Our castle ghosts are really quite tame
06:11Come along
06:14The castle tour awaits
06:16Where's everyone else?
06:23Walter, I pay you good money to bring busloads of tourists up here from the town
06:27Two people are not a busload
06:28No one else wanted to come
06:30Of course people wanted to come
06:32But they have to be told we're here, don't they?
06:34Did you head out the leaflets?
06:35Did you display the poster?
06:37Did you talk to people?
06:38Sure
06:39So?
06:40Where are they?
06:42Well, that's them
06:42No one else was interested
06:44Incredible
06:45What's happening to this country?
06:48Doesn't anyone believe in culture?
06:50In history anymore?
06:54I'm sorry about the delay
06:55I'm sure you're both very eager for the two to get underway
06:58Ten euro seats, please
06:59Ten?
07:00You said five
07:01What?
07:02The driver said it was five euros each
07:04Why are you telling people the tickets are five euros?
07:11You know very well they cost ten
07:12Well, I had to drop the price
07:14Otherwise even they wouldn't come
07:16Walter, you and I are going to have a serious talk later
07:21I'm sorry
07:24I completely forgot that today is our special mid-month discount day
07:28Five euro seats, please
07:29It's not mid-month
07:30I'm sorry?
07:31Today is the 4th
07:32Why would you have a mid-month discount on the 4th?
07:35Well
07:35You got the prices of the tickets wrong
07:38You got the dates wrong
07:39Does anyone know how to do math around here?
07:42As you may know, the castle was built by the von Hasenborgs
07:46They had a special family tradition
07:49Of celebrating the middle of the month on the 4th
07:52What a stupid idea, can you believe that?
07:54Trust me, they did
07:55Five euro seats, please
07:57Thank you
07:58Thank you
08:00After you
08:01So, are you beginning to get a feeling about this place?
08:12Which I guess leads to the next question
08:15How did two basically normal teenagers from the Australian suburbs end up in a place like this?
08:21Ah, ah, ow
08:23Don't you think we should call a doctor?
08:26No, no, it's fine
08:28No doctor could give better treatment than you, Sophie
08:30Are you sure?
08:32Positive
08:32A couple of hours in your care and I'll be perfect
08:35Better than perfect
08:37Okay, let me rephrase that
08:40How did one basically normal teenager
08:43Along with a totally shameless brother
08:45End up in a place like this?
08:47The answer to that coincides with one of my many hugely optimistic attempts
08:51To create the next global smash hit
08:54This feels so dangerous
08:57Hanging out with the enemy
09:01Don't it feel dangerous
09:05Playing around with me
09:09With me
09:12In the middle of the night is when we meet
09:23See, I've got one goal
09:25Gonna get you reach down deep in your soul
09:29Reach down deep in your soul
09:32Reach down deep in your soul?
09:36What kind of a line is that?
09:37I think it's a good line
09:38So what does it mean?
09:40Well, she's really into him
09:42But she's not sure he's been completely open with her
09:45So she's trying to reach him on a deeper level, right?
09:48Yeah, but his soul
09:49I mean, it's not like some sort of a bucket
09:51She can just reach into
09:52Humour so literal minded
09:54Welcome to a typical Saturday afternoon in my LBE
09:57That's life before Europe
09:59My best friends, Lucy and Jack
10:01Are helping me write another one of our so far
10:03Not hugely appreciated songs
10:05I sit here and write the lyrics
10:07While they argue about them
10:09And try and come up with the tunes
10:10It looks chaotic
10:11Mainly because it is
10:13But it's kind of fun
10:14And sometimes we even actually finish a song
10:16We don't write based on opinion polls
10:18We write based on what we feel
10:20That's exactly what I'm saying
10:21Then why didn't you just say that?
10:22I just did
10:23Excuse me, creative ones
10:25Cannot interrupt now
10:26We are almost there
10:27That's what you said two weeks ago
10:29How come I'm still hearing the same tune?
10:30Ben
10:31You can't rush creativity
10:33Yeah, well, sorry guys
10:35But creativity is going to have to go on hold
10:37Mum wants to see us
10:38What for?
10:39Well, if I knew that
10:40I wouldn't have to drag you out here, would I?
10:45Since when does mum ask to see us?
10:47She's got something to say
10:48She just drops it on us at dinner or something
10:50Stop sounding so paranoid
10:51She probably just wants to tell us how fabulous we are
10:54In your dreams
10:55Sorry to pull you away from your friends, Sam
10:58We need to have a small talk
11:00What's the problem?
11:01There's no problem
11:02Quite the reverse, actually
11:04I've won the lottery
11:05What?
11:06What?
11:07That's unbelievable
11:08How much did you get?
11:09Not that lottery
11:10A much better one
11:12There's a better one?
11:13Will you stop teasing?
11:14What's going on?
11:15That research grant in Switzerland I applied for
11:17It's come through
11:18Oh, Brian, that's amazing
11:20Cool
11:20How good is that?
11:22Four whole months for me to be up close and personal
11:24With some of the planet's nastiest microbes
11:27Maybe not so cool
11:28Get out, it'll be a research scientist's paradise
11:30Yes, we are going to have a great time
11:33Sorry, did you say we?
11:35That's right, I'm going to
11:37We haven't had a holiday together for years
11:40It'll be a second honeymoon
11:41In a laboratory?
11:43It's in paradise
11:44Have you ever seen a pretty little town than this?
11:48Wow
11:48It's...
11:50Gorgeous
11:51I'm almost jealous
11:52It's close to a celebration
11:54Let's break out those chocolates you got for your birthday
11:57Hey, get your hands off those
11:58Hang on a minute, you two
12:00Aren't you forgetting something?
12:01As in?
12:02As in how this will affect you two?
12:05You don't have to worry about us
12:06You just go and have a good time with the bugs
12:08And we'll look after the house as if it's our own
12:10It is our own
12:11I know that
12:12You know what I mean
12:13Yeah, we do
12:14But we'd also like you to have a seat while we explain
12:16Explain what?
12:18Look, we know how capable you both are
12:20But unfortunately the law doesn't permit people of your age to live on your own
12:23Especially for four months
12:26You're not gonna get someone to come and look after us, are you?
12:29Honestly, we don't need that
12:30We'd hate it
12:30No, it's something much more exciting
12:33Exciting?
12:35How exciting?
12:37Exactly
12:38Germany
12:39Germany
12:40Germany
12:41Why Germany?
12:42We have this kind of distant cousin there
12:44He's a relative of our fathers
12:45I didn't know Brian was German
12:47Not Brian, a real father
12:48Before he died, obviously
12:50I still don't get it
12:52Why send you all the way to Germany
12:54When you could just come and stay at my place?
12:56We could
12:56Except the fact is, my dear Lucy
12:59You've got no culture
13:00Forget him, Luce
13:00I'm sorry?
13:01It's true
13:02Mum said so herself
13:03She did not
13:04And you are the last person to bag anyone about having no culture
13:07Our parents think we need to escape the narrow insular confines of parochial Australian suburbia
13:13But we're not narrow and insular, are we?
13:15Don't ask me, I don't even know what that means
13:17The point is, the tickets are booked, the stay's confirmed, everything's organised
13:21But won't this cost a bomb? How will you pay for it?
13:24That's exactly what I asked
13:25Won't this cost a bomb? How will you pay for it?
13:28Out of the savings for education
13:29But this isn't an education
13:31You won't get a certificate for it, but you will get an education in a broader sense
13:35What does that mean?
13:37That's exactly what I asked
13:39What does that mean?
13:40You won't know till you've experienced it
13:42Uh, you couldn't be a little more precise, could you?
13:44What if it's terrible?
13:45I don't want to experience something terrible
13:46Oh, come on, it'll be an adventure
13:48You're going to have more fun than you could possibly imagine
13:53You know what?
13:54I hate to say this, but I'm actually envious
13:56Lucy
13:57I am, I'd love to spend four months in another country
14:00I think it'd be amazing
14:01Yeah, okay, but you don't need to say that
14:03I mean, we are losing a songwriting partner here, you know
14:05Oh yeah, but not for a while though
14:07Like, when do you leave?
14:09The day after tomorrow?
14:11What?
14:13What are we going to do about our assignment?
14:15We're supposed to submit it in six weeks
14:17Mum spoke to the school
14:18We've agreed to an extension to the end of the year
14:19She's thought of everything, hasn't she?
14:20Everything
14:22Jack, Lucy and I do music class together
14:23The good thing is that we can work on our songs
14:25The bad thing is that we actually have to finish something in order to pass
14:28We aren't exactly what you'd call great finishes
14:31Wow
14:33Four months is such a long time
14:35It's gonna be hard without you around
14:37But I will be around
14:42We'll still talk
14:43Send notes
14:44Sort files
14:45I'll still keep working on things while I'm away
14:47But it won't be the same though, will it
14:49I'm so going to miss you
14:51Me too
14:52But hey
14:55Four months is nothing
14:57Four months is just
14:59Four months is nothing
15:00Four months is just
15:02It's just
15:04It's just
15:05Can you tell me
15:06is just, well, you know, a lifetime.
15:25The good thing about leaving for a trip quickly
15:26is that you don't have time to dwell on any sad feelings.
15:36Come to think of it, you don't have time to dwell on any feelings.
15:40Before we knew it, we were out the door and on our way to...
15:43Actually, we weren't really sure what we were on our way to.
16:02Do you really think it's going to be an adventure?
16:04It better be. Otherwise, we'll sue.
16:07Not even you would sue your own mother.
16:09You're right. We'll trade her in for a new laptop.
16:12A lot less paperwork.
16:19So, here we are, one week into our adventure.
16:22At least, I think it's an adventure.
16:24It's definitely different to anything else I've ever done, that's for sure.
16:28Back to work, everyone. Lily wants to get started.
16:30Sorry, gotta go.
16:31When Princess Lily calls, no one disobeys.
16:36Ben, that includes you.
16:38Please.
16:38Sorry, Marcus.
16:39I don't think I can make it.
16:41My head's killing me.
16:42Stand by for one of my brother's more embarrassing performances.
16:45You have to get the dummy ready for take two.
16:47I can barely move.
16:49It's okay, Ben.
16:50I'll help you.
16:51Are you sure?
16:52I hate to burden you.
16:53Honestly, it's not a problem.
16:55Here, lean on me.
16:56We'll go together.
16:58Comfortable?
16:58In your hands, I couldn't be anything else.
17:02Don't say I didn't warn you.
17:04Service, please.
17:07It's okay.
17:08I'll be all right.
17:09You go.
17:10I'm sorry.
17:16What are you doing?
17:17Helping you.
17:18Yeah, put your armour up my shoulder.
17:20Actually, Marcus, my head's much better.
17:22Thanks.
17:22So quickly.
17:23Yeah, yeah, it's an oxygen thing, you know.
17:25Now I'm full of it.
17:31You're full of it, all right?
17:33You are such a fake.
17:35Sam, I've just had a very traumatic experience.
17:37The least you could do is give me some sympathy.
17:41Yes, the crew are here, finally.
17:43What about Ben and Sam?
17:45They should be with you any minute.
17:46I don't want them here, Marcus.
17:47They're supposed to be up on the balcony.
17:49Where's Daddy?
17:50Here's still with us tourists.
17:51We'll find him, will you, and tell him we need him now.
17:54On my way.
17:57Sam, why are you here?
17:58Uh, Marcus said to...
18:00Never mind.
18:00Why isn't Ben with you?
18:02He's gone to the loo.
18:03He's had the whole lunch break to go to the loo.
18:06Please, up on the balcony.
18:08All of you.
18:11Amateurs.
18:12I'm surrounded by amateurs.
18:19Oh, I'm sure this will interest you.
18:21The princess, Therese, in order to escape the clutches of the Duke of Saxony, threw herself
18:28off the castle walls into the moat below.
18:30Let us now move forward 50 years in time to when the von Hasenburgs became one of the most famous families in all year.
18:46You'll notice some extremely fascinating changes in the architectural styles.
18:52Here is a particularly marvelous example of what I'm talking about.
18:57Look at the detail in this ceiling.
18:59I'm sure you've never seen anything like this before.
19:02Hello?
19:03Hello?
19:04Hello?
19:05Hello?
19:06Hello?
19:11Hello?
19:21Look at this.
19:24Will, help the prince is in distress.
19:30Please hurry, we'll start your stay led soon.
19:33Have you seen the baron?
19:34No, sorry.
19:39Are you sure we have enough tape left?
19:41Yeah, I'm sure.
19:42Where is everyone?
19:44Come here, my love.
19:46Oh no, Eva Duke, I will never be yours.
19:49They'll stand now.
19:51Good. Stand by, please.
19:52Standing by.
19:56You haven't seen too particularly obnoxious looking teenagers, have you?
19:59No, no one.
20:00Pity.
20:01I was hoping they'd fallen downstairs.
20:03Lily wants to shoot the next shot now.
20:04Are you ready?
20:06Why not?
20:08Roll camera.
20:10Rolling.
20:11Action!
20:12Brilliant!
20:13Did you get it?
20:14Got it.
20:15That's what I call a real fall.
20:17Uh, I think that was a real fall.
20:18Help!
20:19Please!
20:20You have to help him, he can't swim!
20:21What?
20:22Help!
20:23Please!
20:24Ben!
20:25Ben!
20:26Take it easy, I've got the extra weights.
20:27You have to help the guy in the water.
20:28Help!
20:29Please!
20:30I'm not doing that.
20:31I'm not even in costume.
20:32Forget the film, he can't swim!
20:33You have to help him!
20:34Hurry!
20:35Hurry!
20:36Help!
20:37You have to help him, he can't swim!
20:38What?
20:39Ben!
20:40Please!
20:41Ben!
20:42Oh, take it easy, I've got the extra weights.
20:43You have to help the guy in the water!
20:44Help!
20:45Please!
20:46I'm not doing that!
20:47I'm not even in costume!
20:48Forget the film, he can't swim!
20:49You have to help him!
20:50Hurry!
20:51Hey!
20:52That's hard.
20:53Please!
20:54I can't swim, please!
20:55This is getting better and better.
20:56Are you getting all this?
20:57Getting you.
20:58Please, help!
20:59Help!
21:00Please help!
21:01Help!
21:02Help!
21:03Help!
21:04Help!
21:05Help!
21:06Help!
21:07Help!
21:08Help!
21:09Help!
21:10Help!
21:11Help!
21:12Help!
21:13Help!
21:14Help!
21:15Help!
21:16Help!
21:17Help!
21:18Help!
21:19Help!
21:20Help!
21:21Help!
21:22Actually, Lily, this rescue isn't historically true.
21:25Marcus, it's the drama of the history that matters, not the facts.
21:28Is that really ethical?
21:30Who cares?
21:31Everyone else does it.
21:32Stop being such a fuddy-duddy, Marcus.
21:35I can't believe it.
21:36This is more than we could hope for in our wildest dreams.
21:50I'm afraid not, darling.
21:52That ghastly boy's father is one of Germany's top lawyers.
21:54He says he's going to sue us for everything we own and have me sent to prison.
21:57What?
21:58He says it's our fault that he fell.
22:00It wasn't our fault.
22:01He shouldn't even have been on the balcony.
22:03Unfortunately, he doesn't see it that way.
22:04This is terrible.
22:05What can we do?
22:06Leave it to me.
22:07I'll talk to him.
22:08Good stuff, Ben.
22:09You were great.
22:10And not bad for a faker, eh?
22:11Well, you have to admit, you were laying it on pretty thick with Sophie.
22:14True.
22:15But you can't blame me for trying.
22:16You're terrible.
22:17You know that, don't you?
22:18Nobody's perfect.
22:19So, we have a deal then?
22:20Okay.
22:21What's happened?
22:22What did he say?
22:23There won't be any problems.
22:24But how can you be so sure?
22:25I pointed out that he's now the star of the climax to a film that will be seen for many
22:42years to come.
22:43He agrees with the story of the climax that will be seen for many years to come.
22:48He agreed to drop charges if we provide him with a free copy of the film once it's finished.
22:53Well, that's brilliant.
22:56Marcus, I had no idea you could be so forceful.
22:59I'm truly impressed.
23:01When will the film be finished, by the way?
23:03Oh, this year, next year, maybe the one after.
23:07You can't wish creativity, Marcus.
23:10So, welcome to our world for the next four months.
23:13The question is, can we survive it?
23:16There's only one answer to that.
23:18Watch this space.
23:19Have a great day.
23:20Have a great day.
23:24Bye.
23:25We'll catch you on the tab.
23:29Yes.
23:32Have a great day.
23:35We'll catch you.
23:37The thing is, can we not wait?
23:38The thing is, can we not wait?
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