00:00My name is Happy Gilmore.
00:03Thirty years ago, I decided to give golf a try.
00:08But even when you're at the top of your game,
00:12you can always shank one.
00:15Happy Gilmore sucks.
00:16Oh, eat a bag of...
00:19How are you going to put Vienna through ballet school?
00:21It's $75,000 a year.
00:23That's four years. That's $333,000.
00:26That's terrible math, Johnny. It's $300,000.
00:30I wouldn't even know where to start.
00:32Let them see the happy I fell in love with.
00:34You got to do it, Dad.
00:35All right, let's go. Let's go get him, Dad.
00:37How about the jigs?
00:38I know how to do it, Dad.
00:39Let's go.
00:44What the hell is happening?
00:49Happy Gilmore is breaking in yet another caddy you just met.
00:52All right, we're going to go.
00:54But you bring those. Those always come.
00:57All right, that's it.
00:58They got a strap if you want to use the strap.
00:59Happy Gilmore didn't have things flowing on the first bulb.
01:02Oh, son!
01:05Check out the Neen Tag, grandson.
01:07You're in my world now.
01:08I got you a little something there, Pop.
01:14World's world!
01:15Everyone is talking about your comeback kid.
01:17Happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore.
01:19Happy Gilmore!
01:20We've been watching you play, Mr. Gilmore. So inspiring.
01:22My dad loves you, man.
01:25I am so sorry.
01:26Give him here. I got some gorilla glue.
01:29Here we go!
01:31Remember the happy place I went to?
01:33You go to yours.
01:34Yes!
01:35Oh, yes!
01:36Oh, my God, Rory!
01:37Jackass!
01:38Bingo!
01:39Woo!
01:40You stole my life from me.
01:41Why would I want to steal the life of somebody who eats pieces of shit for breakfast?
01:49Huh-ha!
01:50Ah!
01:51Ah!
01:52Oh, yes!
01:53You're leaving the sun!
01:54Steve!
01:55Oh, yes!
01:56It's magic!
01:57Oh, it's magic!
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