Good Girls Gone Wild #Shortfilm
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Music
00:00:30Oh, my God.
00:00:35Hello?
00:00:36Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away,
00:00:40and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:47Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:00:57You know, I want to surprise him.
00:00:59What?
00:01:00But you can't.
00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:10You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:12She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:21Come on, Lexi.
00:01:22So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:37I'm going to be very happy.
00:01:38Okay.
00:01:39Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:43But this is the big one eight.
00:01:45I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital,
00:01:48we've done something new and special,
00:01:49but this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:52So, what's something we've never done before?
00:01:55Mushrooms?
00:01:56No, not like that.
00:01:57Like something nice.
00:01:59Like maybe a trip.
00:02:01Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:03No.
00:02:06Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:07We'll figure it out.
00:02:24Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:26Yeah, sure.
00:02:28Here you go.
00:02:30No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:33I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:35I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:41Oh, Jake.
00:02:46Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:49Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:02:50When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:53The best night of my life.
00:02:54It will be, I promise.
00:02:57It'll always be amazing with you and me together.
00:03:05Jake, no, I have to go.
00:03:10I have to work on my art project.
00:03:12You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:15but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:19Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:21This Saturday?
00:03:22Of course.
00:03:23Thanks.
00:03:29Okay, bye.
00:03:39Nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:03:41Oh, baby, you're so hot.
00:03:43I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:45Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:46What was your name again?
00:03:47Rod.
00:03:49Sex God.
00:03:49Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:58You're right, I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:10Does not compute.
00:04:11Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:17Oh, huh.
00:04:18Hi.
00:04:20When did you get home?
00:04:22So is it true?
00:04:23Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:29I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:04:34and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:36So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:39Lexi, tell her.
00:04:40Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:44On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:46Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday.
00:04:48Or maybe even, like, our 28th, maybe.
00:04:54Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:01I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:04But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:19It's not Jake.
00:05:21It's the male ideal.
00:05:23Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:27Right.
00:05:29Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:31I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:32I'm not really an artist.
00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:35The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:39And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:41I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:43And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:44Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:50I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:03You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:09Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:12To church to pray for you.
00:06:14I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting this is...
00:06:18Yeah, me too.
00:06:20Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:32I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:34Mm-hmm.
00:06:37Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:06:40It's about sex.
00:06:42Mm-hmm.
00:06:45I mean, not me.
00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:48Mm-hmm.
00:06:49I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:52Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:59But there was nothing there.
00:07:00Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My best friends.
00:07:07They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:09Okay.
00:07:11Third base.
00:07:12What?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14Like, sex.
00:07:15Like, intercourse?
00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:19I mean, they really need us intervention, if you know what I mean.
00:07:21All the way.
00:07:23Go all the way.
00:07:24Go all the way.
00:07:25What?
00:07:26What?
00:07:27Ah!
00:07:29Ah!
00:07:30How could you do this?
00:07:32You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:36What?
00:07:36What?
00:07:42Yes!
00:07:43Yes!
00:07:45Run!
00:07:45Run!
00:07:46Home run!
00:07:47Damn it!
00:07:51Fucking Yankees!
00:07:54Sorry.
00:07:55Sorry.
00:08:17Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:27I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:31Do you hear me?
00:08:32I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend.
00:08:35On our birthday.
00:08:37Do what?
00:08:39It.
00:08:40Screw.
00:08:41You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:44You know, shagging, fucking.
00:08:48You do.
00:08:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:55Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:57Really?
00:08:59Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:03So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:08Right.
00:09:10I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:12Hey, Frank.
00:09:22Hi, Sue.
00:09:24Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:27I don't know.
00:09:27Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:29Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:30Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:37Wait, wait, bye.
00:09:39Hey.
00:09:39Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthday.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at my short?
00:09:59Well, the house looks done.
00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:03We finally turn 18 and finally lose our virginity.
00:10:08Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:11So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake, and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:16But, Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:18To pop your chair?
00:10:19It's easy.
00:10:20I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:26What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:27I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:30Yeah.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:42Chris?
00:10:43Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:48I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:48No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:54It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:01What?
00:11:02He does not.
00:11:03Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:05He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:07With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:11Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:15Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:27I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:45You're so perfect.
00:12:01I knew it would happen.
00:12:20Oh!
00:12:21I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:51Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:10Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:21Oh my gosh, they're coming.
00:13:33Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:13:38Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:42It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:43I'm going to start.
00:13:44You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46He's going to be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid.
00:13:49Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants.
00:13:51That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ.
00:13:55Can I wrap your mouth, too?
00:13:57Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:07Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:14:11Oh, what a cool bracelet!
00:14:16I love it!
00:14:19You should put that down, though, because it's, like, it's really...
00:14:21Very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Okay.
00:14:24Set it down.
00:14:25Hurry up.
00:14:27Those were your anal beads, right?
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30Okay.
00:14:31Okay.
00:14:32Let's go.
00:14:33Let's go.
00:14:34Let's go.
00:14:35Let's go.
00:14:36Let's go.
00:14:37Let's go.
00:14:38Let's go.
00:14:39Let's go.
00:14:40Let's go.
00:14:41Let's go.
00:14:42Let's go.
00:14:43Let's go.
00:14:44Let's go.
00:14:45Let's go.
00:14:46Let's go.
00:14:47Let's go.
00:14:48Let's go.
00:14:49Let's go.
00:14:50Let's go.
00:14:51Oh, Jesus.
00:14:52Whoa!
00:14:53Hold up.
00:14:54Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:14:56Oh, Attack of the Wet T-Shirts.
00:14:57Nice!
00:14:58Let's go.
00:14:59Let's go.
00:15:00Let's go.
00:15:01Let's go.
00:15:02Let's go.
00:15:03Let's go.
00:15:04Let's go.
00:15:07Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:09Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:13That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:17And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:20Oh, how did you know?
00:15:22I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:28Bosses, what's your cutie?
00:15:31Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:33All right.
00:15:34Sorry.
00:15:35Are you okay now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:38Okay.
00:15:39See you later.
00:15:41I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:43This is crazy.
00:15:44Jake!
00:15:45Hi!
00:15:46Hey, babe.
00:15:47Happy birthday.
00:15:49Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:53What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:58No.
00:16:01Oh, hon.
00:16:03Come here.
00:16:06I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later.
00:16:09The time's right.
00:16:10Aw.
00:16:11You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:13And I have a present for you that I want you to wrap later.
00:16:19Hey, bro.
00:16:21We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:23We'll bet.
00:16:24All right.
00:16:25This is my man right here.
00:16:26Hey.
00:16:27Hey.
00:16:28How you doing?
00:16:29Hey.
00:16:30Check it out.
00:16:31Dare me.
00:16:32Woo!
00:16:33Woo!
00:16:34Woo!
00:16:35Woo!
00:16:36Woo!
00:16:37Woo!
00:16:38Woo!
00:16:39Woo!
00:16:40Woo!
00:16:41Woo!
00:16:42Woo!
00:16:43Woo!
00:16:44Woo!
00:16:45Woo!
00:16:46Woo!
00:16:47Woo!
00:16:48Woo!
00:16:49Woo!
00:16:50Woo!
00:16:51Woo!
00:16:52Woo!
00:16:53Woo!
00:16:55Woo!
00:16:56Woo!
00:16:57Woo!
00:16:58Woo!
00:16:59Woo!
00:17:00Woo!
00:17:01Oh, dude, look at those.
00:17:02Are those real?
00:17:03I don't.
00:17:04Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:05Hey!
00:17:06Ah, dude move!
00:17:07Come on, lame!
00:17:08Oh.
00:17:09All right.
00:17:10OK.
00:17:11I'll see you guys later.
00:17:12Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:13Aw, the moves!
00:17:1420 bucks says, by the end of the day I will be motorboating those kiddies.
00:17:17Yeah!
00:17:18They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:20OK.
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:23Okay.
00:17:25Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:33Here, let me.
00:17:34Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:17:36It's not.
00:17:38I'm in.
00:17:41Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:43I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:47Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:49I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:50It just, like, disappeared.
00:18:03Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:06How come I haven't met you before?
00:18:09I don't know.
00:18:10Maybe he's going to be around.
00:18:11Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:15Maybe upstairs.
00:18:16I don't know.
00:18:17Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where you went.
00:18:23Oh, well.
00:18:26Liquid courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:32Vodka cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:38I can go meet a ride.
00:18:40Sue?
00:18:41Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:45They're just eyes.
00:18:47Okay.
00:18:47Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:48Seriously.
00:18:49You're going to be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:56Wow.
00:18:56It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:58No.
00:18:59He does not have gate face.
00:19:01I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:03I'm going to do it.
00:19:04I'm going to do it.
00:19:17I'm going to do this.
00:19:19Go back.
00:19:22Hey, you can do this.
00:19:24Just act like a slut.
00:19:28Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:31Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:42Hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:45Uh-huh.
00:19:46Um, in private?
00:19:48Oh.
00:19:48Oh.
00:19:48Oh.
00:20:01Hey, Lexi.
00:20:02Hey, Lexi.
00:20:03What?
00:20:04Chris.
00:20:06You're so sexy.
00:20:08Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:11I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:15And I really want to...
00:20:18Oh!
00:20:18What are you doing?
00:20:20Is that wrong?
00:20:21Sue!
00:20:21What's gotten into you?
00:20:23Nothing.
00:20:23I'm sorry.
00:20:24I don't know how to do this.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:28Sue.
00:20:29Sue.
00:20:29Sue.
00:20:29I understand these urges.
00:20:35And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:40You do?
00:20:40I do.
00:20:41I really do.
00:20:43I like you too.
00:20:45Really?
00:20:46You do?
00:20:47I do.
00:20:48I really do.
00:20:49It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:56Right.
00:20:57Lexi said you were...
00:20:58Jesus.
00:20:58Oh.
00:21:00That man.
00:21:01Of course.
00:21:02What did you think?
00:21:04Oh, nothing.
00:21:05So we can still do this then?
00:21:08Oh, Sue.
00:21:10You know, for me...
00:21:12When I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him up there on that cross,
00:21:21so helpless, so helpless, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun.
00:21:44And I just feel such compassion.
00:21:47I think about those things, too.
00:21:49So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:53Not really.
00:21:55I just find it too hard, it is, to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:04So...
00:22:05So...
00:22:06So...
00:22:08We're gonna go out there, right?
00:22:09Andy, we're gonna tell you three months.
00:22:10Jake.
00:22:11Hey, Ty.
00:22:12Whoa!
00:22:13Have you seen Jake?
00:22:14Uh, no.
00:22:15No.
00:22:16No.
00:22:17All right.
00:22:18Okay.
00:22:19All right, focus.
00:22:20Focus.
00:22:21Focus.
00:22:22Oh, there he is.
00:22:25Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:30How could he?
00:22:55How could he?
00:22:58Sue, what happened?
00:23:01Did you guys do it?
00:23:03Sue?
00:23:04He doesn't want me.
00:23:06Because he's gay.
00:23:07No, he's not.
00:23:08He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:10Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:12The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:17Look, the only way you're gonna find out what kind of man you really want is to know what kind of woman you really are, deep inside.
00:23:26What?
00:23:27What?
00:23:28Come with me.
00:23:29Where?
00:23:30To meet your dark side.
00:23:38Out.
00:23:39Everyone out.
00:23:40Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:23:53I really can't.
00:24:06I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:08I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:10I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:11I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:15Sue?
00:24:16Can you see it?
00:24:17Sue?
00:24:18Sue?
00:24:19Sue?
00:24:20Can you see it?
00:24:21Sue?
00:24:22I'm almost...
00:24:24I'm almost there.
00:24:29What?
00:24:30What?
00:24:31What?
00:24:32Sue?
00:24:33What happened?
00:24:34What did you see?
00:24:35A raccoon?
00:24:36What?
00:24:37What?
00:24:38What?
00:24:39Sue?
00:24:40What?
00:24:41What?
00:24:42You overshot it.
00:24:43Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:48I can't.
00:24:49Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:51Okay.
00:24:52Fine.
00:24:53Fine.
00:24:54I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:59What?
00:25:00You really need an orgasm.
00:25:03Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've
00:25:07never even had it with yourself.
00:25:08This really has to be your first step.
00:25:10Les.
00:25:11I'm waiting.
00:25:12Coming.
00:25:13Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:15Just find it and use it.
00:25:17Wait.
00:25:18What does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:20It's black.
00:25:21It vibrates.
00:25:22Come on, Rod.
00:25:25Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:27And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:42Hey, cutie!
00:25:43Cutie!
00:25:47Oh!
00:25:48Oh!
00:25:49Bullseye!
00:25:50Oh, yeah!
00:25:51Bang!
00:25:52Bang!
00:25:53Bang!
00:25:54Bang!
00:25:55Bang!
00:25:56Good boy.
00:25:57Straighten up.
00:25:58Good boy.
00:25:59Good boy.
00:26:00He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:02I'm sorry, I can't see anything.
00:26:04That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:05What a bitch.
00:26:06Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:11Ah!
00:26:17Mm, ah!
00:26:22Oh!
00:26:30I mean, dang!
00:26:32Oh, shit.
00:26:47What's wrong with this thing?
00:27:02Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:15For sure?
00:27:16I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:20That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:24No, it's awful. I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:33It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:36Okay. He's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:41Oh, I can't face him. I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:45No, you can't just leave.
00:27:47Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:51No. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:55Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:28:00I'm leaving.
00:28:00Revenge sex.
00:28:01Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:11Revenge sex.
00:28:13Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:15It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:20But he... I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:23I mean, why would... He's just into other girls.
00:28:25Trust me. He'll care.
00:28:27Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him. To his ego. To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him. Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:38No, I... I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's... There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:44Eric! He's perfect!
00:28:46Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:28:49I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:28:52He wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:28:53Oh, really? And what type is that?
00:28:56Slutty.
00:28:58Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:03Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:07Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else. Someone that I haven't... fooled around with.
00:29:16Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him? I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:20Okay? No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:23Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:28to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage,
00:29:31and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:36But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:40I don't know.
00:29:43But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:47I don't know.
00:29:49Trust me.
00:29:50It's going to work.
00:29:56I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:00Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:01You look okay enough to chat with him.
00:30:03Oh, no.
00:30:15Hey.
00:30:16Happy birthday.
00:30:17Thanks.
00:30:18Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:42Happy birthday.
00:30:43Happy birthday.
00:30:44Happy birthday.
00:30:49Happy birthday.
00:30:50Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:56But it's actually from us.
00:30:57U.S.
00:30:59America.
00:31:01United States.
00:31:03I know where we live.
00:31:04Right.
00:31:05Right.
00:31:05Of course.
00:31:06I know where we live.
00:31:11Right.
00:31:11Of course.
00:31:17Hey, Jesus, Erica.
00:31:18Are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:20Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:21Yeah, no.
00:31:21I can totally move.
00:31:22I just...
00:31:22No.
00:31:23You're fine.
00:31:24You're fine.
00:31:35Jake!
00:31:36So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:40Oh.
00:31:41I'm sorry.
00:31:43It?
00:31:43What, um...
00:31:44It.
00:31:45Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:51Oh.
00:31:52Oh.
00:31:53You mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:57I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:59You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:02Yeah, sure.
00:32:03I mean, yeah, of course.
00:32:04Um, I just never realized that you, I mean, whew, uh, it's just, you're so, you're so beautiful.
00:32:19Okay.
00:32:19Um.
00:32:19Hmm?
00:32:20Uh, no kissine.
00:32:23Right.
00:32:24Um, of course.
00:32:25Sorry.
00:32:29So, um, do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:33Oh, wow.
00:32:34Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:39Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:41You, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:45Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:47You, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:49Organic.
00:32:51Yep.
00:32:54So, the wrap.
00:32:55Right.
00:32:56Um.
00:32:58Where's the, uh...
00:32:59It's, uh, the end is, that I just, like, right over here.
00:33:01Oh, yeah, here it is.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:02Uh, it's where I see it.
00:33:03Um, let me just, uh, got it.
00:33:06Uh.
00:33:07Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:08Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:33:09I, um.
00:33:10It's, it's okay.
00:33:11Do it again.
00:33:14Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:17You know what?
00:33:17Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:20Okay.
00:33:21Uh, let me just see.
00:33:29Oh, here it is.
00:33:30I got it.
00:33:31All right.
00:33:31It's, um, pull it.
00:33:33Let me just...
00:33:34Oh, jeez.
00:33:37Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:39You okay?
00:33:40Help!
00:33:40Help!
00:33:41Uh.
00:33:43Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:45Oh, jeez.
00:33:52Well, that was stupid.
00:33:57Yeah.
00:33:58How are you doing tonight?
00:34:04I'm good.
00:34:05You having a good time?
00:34:06Yeah?
00:34:07You good?
00:34:07Jake!
00:34:08I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:11What?
00:34:12I can't hear you.
00:34:14Another beer.
00:34:15Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:17Jake!
00:34:17So are you with me?
00:34:19Upstairs.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:20Hold on.
00:34:21Take a piss.
00:34:23How much beer?
00:34:24Oh.
00:34:38Oh.
00:34:38Oh.
00:34:38Oh.
00:34:39Oh.
00:34:39Oh.
00:34:40Oh.
00:34:40Oh.
00:34:41Oh.
00:34:42Oh.
00:34:43Oh.
00:34:44Oh.
00:34:44Oh.
00:34:45Oh.
00:34:46Oh.
00:34:47Oh.
00:34:48Oh.
00:34:49Oh.
00:34:50Oh.
00:34:50Oh.
00:34:50Finally.
00:34:52I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:34:56Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:58Um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:35:00What?
00:35:01I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:05Oh.
00:35:07Well, okay.
00:35:08Okay.
00:35:08I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:22Yeah.
00:35:22Yeah.
00:35:23Oh.
00:35:23Oh.
00:35:24Well, okay.
00:35:25Okay.
00:35:26Yeah.
00:35:27Oh.
00:35:27Well, okay.
00:35:28Okay.
00:35:29I'll just get the blinds.
00:35:31Well.
00:35:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:33Don't, don't worry about it.
00:35:34What?
00:35:35I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:37Oh.
00:35:39Okay.
00:36:09What are you doing?
00:36:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:33Um, not yet.
00:36:34More foreplay.
00:36:35Huh?
00:36:35Oh.
00:36:39It's so good.
00:36:45Oh.
00:36:47Yep.
00:36:48Oh, my God.
00:36:50Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:51What?
00:36:52What?
00:36:52Ah, ah, oh.
00:36:54Ah, dear.
00:36:56Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:57Is that even a thing?
00:36:59I don't know.
00:37:01Ah.
00:37:03Are you okay?
00:37:06No, no, no, no, it's fine.
00:37:09I'm just, uh, I'm embarrassed.
00:37:11It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:37:18You sure you're okay?
00:37:20Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:21Okay, great.
00:37:22Have fun.
00:37:22Oh.
00:37:28Now.
00:37:29Now, let's do it now.
00:37:30No, not yet.
00:37:31Not yet.
00:37:31All right, I'm going to come.
00:37:35I'm going to come.
00:37:36No, not yet.
00:37:36Ready?
00:37:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:39No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:40Lexi!
00:37:41Lexi!
00:37:41Oh!
00:37:42Shit.
00:37:42Oh!
00:37:45No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:47Lexi!
00:37:48Lexi!
00:37:49Oh!
00:37:49Shit.
00:37:50Oh!
00:37:51No means no.
00:37:52Huh?
00:37:53Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:54I'm sorry.
00:37:55I'm sorry.
00:37:55It's been a really long time, and I just, I haven't masturbated for anything.
00:37:59Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:06Hello.
00:38:08How are you doing?
00:38:10How's it going?
00:38:11Good.
00:38:12Eric?
00:38:13Help.
00:38:14Eric, help me.
00:38:15I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:17Excuse me.
00:38:22Cheryl's in here.
00:38:22What's up, bro?
00:38:28What the fuck is...
00:38:30Hey, wait!
00:38:34Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:38:42Oh, I'm sorry.
00:38:43I can't see.
00:38:43I'm blind.
00:38:46Damn it.
00:38:48I'm going to save somebody to that bitch.
00:38:50Hey, you!
00:38:52You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm going to teach you a lesson.
00:38:56Help!
00:38:58I'm so sorry.
00:39:00I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:02Help!
00:39:03Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:28This party's ass.
00:39:30Yeah!
00:39:37This just isn't working on me.
00:39:40Nothing.
00:39:41What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:39:43Lock your character, man.
00:39:46Lock sticks.
00:39:48Spark it up.
00:39:49Yes!
00:39:50Oh, man!
00:39:54I love this game!
00:39:56We're in the controllers.
00:39:57We gotta play.
00:39:58Here, here, here.
00:39:59Come on.
00:40:00Hurry up.
00:40:01Come on.
00:40:02Woo!
00:40:03Look at this!
00:40:05Oh, man.
00:40:06Oh, man.
00:40:07Get that thing away.
00:40:08Jesus.
00:40:09Hey, dude.
00:40:10Nice shot.
00:40:11Wasn't me.
00:40:12Whoa!
00:40:13Whoa!
00:40:14Whoa!
00:40:15Nice!
00:40:16Are you sitting on it or something?
00:40:18Hey, dude.
00:40:19Hey, dude.
00:40:20Nice shot.
00:40:21Wasn't me.
00:40:26Whoa!
00:40:27Nice!
00:40:28Are you sitting on it or something?
00:40:29Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:30Nice!
00:40:31Nice!
00:40:32Nice!
00:40:33Nice!
00:40:34Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:36Whoa!
00:40:37Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:43Whoa!
00:40:45You are the controller.
00:40:46No!
00:40:47I just...
00:40:48I didn't.
00:40:49I swear.
00:40:50I...
00:40:51I...
00:40:53Alright.
00:40:54No problem!
00:40:56Whoa!
00:40:57You are the controller.
00:40:58I know.
00:40:59I just...
00:41:00I didn't.
00:41:01I swear.
00:41:02I...
00:41:03No problem!
00:41:04No problem!
00:41:05I swear, I...
00:41:17Hey, hey, Sue!
00:41:19What are you doing, man?
00:41:23It's okay, um, hey, Sue!
00:41:35Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:37Yeah, I just needed to, um...
00:41:39Oh, sure.
00:41:41Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:46You were?
00:41:48You mean...
00:41:50Yeah.
00:41:54So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:57Could we go get a drink?
00:41:59Wow, um, your toilet's really clogged.
00:42:05You...
00:42:06Do you know what?
00:42:07I gotta go.
00:42:08Um, happy birthday.
00:42:09Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't...
00:42:11I didn't...
00:42:12Oh, God, never mind.
00:42:25This is the worst idea ever.
00:42:27Never going to have sex.
00:42:29Ow.
00:42:50Hello?
00:42:51A little attention here.
00:42:52Oh, yeah.
00:42:53Sorry.
00:42:57Lex, don't be selfish.
00:43:01Oh, right.
00:43:02Sorry.
00:43:15Ugh.
00:43:16Jeez.
00:43:17Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:43:20Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:22Screw it.
00:43:23Screw it.
00:43:24Heh, heh, heh.
00:43:31Aww.
00:43:33Heh, heh, heh, heh!
00:43:35Heh, heh, heh.
00:43:41Uhh, sail
00:43:45Ha, ha, ha.
00:43:46Whoo!
00:43:47Oh, no, that was bad, that was so bad.
00:44:17Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:25I think that guy's name starts with a J. Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:34Yes, it does.
00:44:35So, you're JJ?
00:44:36Uh-oh.
00:44:37Hello, welcome to 1-900 Confess, would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:05A nun.
00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:13Please hold.
00:45:14Oh, my goodness.
00:45:181-900 Confession, how may I be of service?
00:45:21It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:24I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:26One day?
00:45:28Ow!
00:45:33Is that too long?
00:45:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:37Go on.
00:45:38Uh, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:43Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine.
00:45:46What's her problem?
00:45:47A washing machine touched her.
00:45:50Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well.
00:45:54All right, freak.
00:45:55Time's up.
00:45:56What?
00:45:57But what do I do?
00:45:58Unplug the thing.
00:45:59No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:03Well, then be happy.
00:46:04You found the perfect man.
00:46:06I'm serious.
00:46:07Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.
00:46:13Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:16No contritions?
00:46:17You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:19It's not in the Bible.
00:46:21So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:24Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:27Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:30Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:32Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:35Huh.
00:46:36God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:38He sure is.
00:46:39Now run along.
00:46:44Wow.
00:46:45How do you know all that?
00:46:47Because I'm a nun.
00:46:48Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:51Huh.
00:46:52Accidental masturbation.
00:46:53Who would've think?
00:47:03Revenge sex.
00:47:04What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:07God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:11Yeah, admit it.
00:47:12I've got no game.
00:47:13I guess I just get everything I guess.
00:47:15Oh, beautiful.
00:47:20Fucking douchebag.
00:47:22Damn it.
00:47:24Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:26You go, girl.
00:47:28What?
00:47:31What are you doing here?
00:47:32We needed someplace private.
00:47:35But hey, listen.
00:47:36If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:37Yeah?
00:47:38If you want someone great.
00:47:40I mean, really.
00:47:41The best ever.
00:47:44No offense.
00:47:45Frank.
00:47:46The blind guy?
00:47:48Really?
00:47:49I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:52I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:54It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:57It was like we used all our senses.
00:48:00Everything.
00:48:03If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:06All right.
00:48:08What about him?
00:48:10Jeremy.
00:48:12Oh, yeah.
00:48:13I know Jeremy.
00:48:14Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:16I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:19It's Jones.
00:48:20Jeremy Jones.
00:48:22This all makes sense.
00:48:23Excuse me.
00:48:25Jeremy.
00:48:26Hi.
00:48:28Who's on the phone?
00:48:29Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:30You'll meet her.
00:48:31She'll be here in, like, an hour.
00:48:32Wait.
00:48:33You have a girlfriend?
00:48:34Oh.
00:48:35Hey, Frank.
00:48:36Sit.
00:48:37Oh, you meant...
00:48:38You meant the dog.
00:48:39Relax.
00:48:40You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:10Oh, I'm...
00:49:11I'm relaxed.
00:49:12I'm fine.
00:49:13Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:14I'm not.
00:49:15How did you know that?
00:49:17Corner.
00:49:18Sit.
00:49:19Roll over.
00:49:20Oh, you mean me.
00:49:21Oh, you mean me.
00:49:22Oh, how do you...
00:49:23Oh, how do you...
00:49:24Oh, I'm...
00:49:25I'm fine.
00:49:26I'm fine.
00:49:27I'm fine.
00:49:28Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:29I'm not.
00:49:30How did you know that?
00:49:31Corner.
00:49:33Sit.
00:49:35Roll over.
00:49:37Oh, you mean me.
00:49:39Roll over.
00:49:40Oh, you mean me.
00:49:43Roll over.
00:49:47Oh, you mean me.
00:49:48Oh, how do you...
00:49:50How do you want me to...
00:49:51Just lay down.
00:49:52Oh.
00:50:04Oh.
00:50:05I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:50:07Considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:13Oh.
00:50:16See me with your hands.
00:50:18Okay.
00:50:21All right.
00:50:22Uh...
00:50:29You know, I should really...
00:50:30I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:32Really.
00:50:33Oh.
00:50:46Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:47Frank.
00:50:48Frank.
00:50:49Frank.
00:50:50Oh.
00:50:51Oh, Frank.
00:50:52Ito.
00:50:57Frank.
00:50:58Frank.
00:51:00Oh.
00:51:02Oh, Frank.
00:51:03Oh, Frank.
00:51:05.
00:51:08.
00:51:22You know, ma'am?
00:51:32Dude, give me two.
00:51:34My chips, homeboy.
00:51:35Dude, give me two, ma'am.
00:51:36My chips.
00:51:37Dude.
00:51:38My chips.
00:51:39Dude, give me two.
00:51:41My chips?
00:51:42Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:45Sorry.
00:51:52It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:56That's all.
00:52:01No, let me do this.
00:52:02Go ahead.
00:52:03I got it.
00:52:04No, I got it.
00:52:05No, really, please.
00:52:06I want to help.
00:52:09Okay, everybody out.
00:52:11Leave.
00:52:12I have to vacuum.
00:52:22You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:27They're over here.
00:52:29I see some dust over here, so...
00:52:34It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:38This is a dirty floor.
00:52:40Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:44And I just...
00:52:52I think I got all that.
00:52:53I'm just gonna...
00:52:54I'll see you.
00:52:55Oh.
00:52:56Oh.
00:52:57Oh.
00:52:58Oh.
00:52:59Oh.
00:53:00Oh.
00:53:01Oh.
00:53:02Okay.
00:53:03Oh, yeah.
00:53:04Oh, all right.
00:53:05Oh.
00:53:06I think I got all that.
00:53:07I'm just gonna...
00:53:08I'll see you.
00:53:09Oh.
00:53:19Cranky.
00:53:20Oh, my.
00:53:21Oh.
00:53:22What?
00:53:23Oh, fuck your shit.
00:53:24Oh, man.
00:53:25We gotta smoke.
00:53:26Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:53:27Stop.
00:53:28Frank.
00:53:29Stop teasing Frank.
00:53:31Holy shit.
00:53:32Oh, fuck.
00:53:33I'm sorry, man.
00:53:34We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:37Oh, I heard something.
00:53:38You wanna join us?
00:53:39Uh...
00:53:40No, I might not.
00:53:41Come on.
00:53:42You gotta do it.
00:53:43Come on.
00:53:44Seriously, guys.
00:53:45Where's your dog, man?
00:53:46What's it like being blind of it?
00:53:47It's tripping.
00:53:48Frank?
00:53:49Frank?
00:53:50Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:55Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:00Thanks, man.
00:54:01Oh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:03I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:04Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:05Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:06I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:10Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:11This is some good shit.
00:54:12Oh, no.
00:54:13You're the devil.
00:54:14No more.
00:54:15JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:18You have to remember that I've been doing something.
00:54:20I don't know why, but I can't remember.
00:54:22This is some good shit.
00:54:23I can't remember.
00:54:24This is some good shit.
00:54:26Oh, no.
00:54:27You're the devil.
00:54:29No more.
00:54:30JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:44You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:48Please.
00:54:49Lex, I can't.
00:54:51I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:53I really like this girl.
00:54:55Fine.
00:54:56It's just so sad because I'm wearing this cupless bra.
00:55:01And I also have on crotchless panties
00:55:04with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:10Oh.
00:55:10We've got, like, 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:16Perfect.
00:55:21Before she gets here.
00:55:22Perfect.
00:55:32Oh, yeah.
00:55:33I'm gonna do it.
00:55:34Let's do it.
00:55:36Fuck me.
00:55:36Fuck me now.
00:55:41What?
00:55:42What's wrong?
00:55:43I can't.
00:55:44I can't get it in.
00:55:46Just try down there.
00:55:47It's like desert down there.
00:55:49It's sandpaper.
00:55:51It's just...
00:55:51Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:53Just try it again.
00:55:56No.
00:55:57Why is this happening?
00:55:59We fooled around before.
00:56:01I was dripping wet.
00:56:02I came, like, four times, remember?
00:56:04Just do what you did then.
00:56:05Go on.
00:56:06I already did my thing.
00:56:07I already tried.
00:56:09What?
00:56:09What?
00:56:10What is different this time?
00:56:12I don't know.
00:56:14Last time...
00:56:16I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:20What?
00:56:22You're not JJ?
00:56:24But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:26How can you not be JJ?
00:56:28Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:31Where are you going?
00:56:32We're not done here.
00:56:34I can still do this.
00:56:35I just need a little bit of foreplay.
00:56:36I can do this.
00:56:37I don't need JJ.
00:56:39I don't need anyone else.
00:56:40We can do this.
00:56:42Go team.
00:56:47What?
00:56:47Just keep going.
00:56:54Shit.
00:56:54Where's Jeremy?
00:57:07We were just, you know...
00:57:08Hey, babe.
00:57:11Just working out.
00:57:16How could you, you bastard?
00:57:21You might want to...
00:57:22What?
00:57:24What?
00:57:27Ah!
00:57:29Mariela!
00:57:30Mariela!
00:57:31You know, those are mine!
00:57:34At least not all of them.
00:57:36What is wrong with you?
00:57:41What is wrong with you?
00:57:44You used to be so pure.
00:57:46Well, no more.
00:57:47That's it.
00:57:49Really, that's the last one.
00:57:51Big Oof.
00:57:52I don't know.
00:57:54Oh, God.
00:57:54No, God.
00:57:57I don't know.
00:58:02Oh, God.
00:58:08Oh, God.
00:58:10Come on.
00:58:11Come on.
00:58:13Maybe.
00:58:13Here we go.
00:58:15how say, this is the Lord.
00:58:16Baby?
00:58:17Oh, God.
00:58:17What's wrong with you?
00:58:17I don't know.
00:58:18Cheryl?
00:58:24What is it?
00:58:25What are you doing down here?
00:58:27Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:31What?
00:58:32Why?
00:58:33Nothing.
00:58:34Just this lying guy and his dog and ugh.
00:58:37Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:40No, it's not okay.
00:58:42God.
00:58:44And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:45I'm sorry.
00:58:46It's Jake's.
00:58:47Jake's fault.
00:58:49That blind cheating bastard.
00:58:51Yes.
00:58:52He is such a dickwad.
00:58:53You need to confront him.
00:58:55Yeah.
00:58:56Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:58I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
00:59:01Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:59:03You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:06Yeah, a big piece.
00:59:07A big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:09A big piece of it.
00:59:10Yeah.
00:59:11You know, you might wanna...
00:59:14You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:16Yeah.
00:59:17Yeah, you're right.
00:59:18Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:19No.
00:59:26I'm sorry.
00:59:27I'm so...
00:59:29I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:32I got no game.
00:59:41It's not important.
00:59:42Hey, um...
00:59:55Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:56No, no, no.
00:59:57I really need to talk to you.
00:59:59Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:00:01No, no, no.
01:00:02I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it up to you.
01:00:07Eric, really?
01:00:08I don't care.
01:00:09It's fine.
01:00:10No, but I do.
01:00:11I mean, I do.
01:00:12I care.
01:00:15I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:17Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:20But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:00:26Soon.
01:00:27Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:00:30Really?
01:00:31Eric, you're shy.
01:00:32You have no game.
01:00:33No.
01:00:34Not really.
01:00:35Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:00:36Sorry.
01:00:37Okay.
01:00:38Alright.
01:00:39I, uh...
01:00:40Happy birthday, then.
01:00:45I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:10Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:27Oh, Mary, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:01:32Oh, God, Damien, not again.
01:01:34Oh, no, um...
01:01:35Honey, happy...
01:01:37What the fuck is this? Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:41Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:45Cheryl, baby, what is this?
01:01:50Aw, gee, Cheryl. You're...
01:01:53I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:01:56Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:58You couldn't find me?
01:02:00What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:05Cheryl, honey.
01:02:06No, no!
01:02:07We can work this out.
01:02:08Baby, I love you.
01:02:09Jake, no, you have to go.
01:02:10Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:12No.
01:02:13I promise.
01:02:14No, Jake, I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:02:16Cheryl, come on.
01:02:17No, Jake, please, just go, just go. I'm sorry.
01:02:20You're a harmless bitch!
01:02:22How can you do it with me?
01:02:24Yay! You did it.
01:02:26I am so proud of you.
01:02:27You got your revenge sex.
01:02:28You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:02:30Oh.
01:02:31Revenge sex?
01:02:33It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:37It all makes sense now.
01:02:40Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:02:43Eric, I'm really, I'm really sorry.
01:02:46Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:49And you used me.
01:02:51Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric!
01:02:54Aren't you happy?
01:02:57Well, no, that's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:03:01You mean the sex? Was it?
01:03:03Yeah?
01:03:04No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:06Oh.
01:03:07You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:08Really?
01:03:09I just never found the right guy.
01:03:11Or guys.
01:03:13Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:15People are starting to leave.
01:03:16I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:18I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:30This is bullshit!
01:03:31Oh!
01:03:32Oh!
01:03:33Dude, suck it!
01:03:34What the?
01:03:35I'm out of here!
01:03:36Yeah!
01:03:37He has good hair, though.
01:03:39Don't keep fused on me.
01:03:40Don't keep in my car, either.
01:03:41I might say, Frank, that I might need a vacation.
01:03:46Take this information through your head.
01:04:02Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:04:05Was it from sex?
01:04:06Did you pop your cork?
01:04:07I don't think so.
01:04:08Not with a guy, anyway.
01:04:10Oh, don't ask.
01:04:12Every possible object.
01:04:14It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:16It was like transformers.
01:04:18They just all became vibrators.
01:04:20Ha!
01:04:21I told you.
01:04:22It's addicting.
01:04:25So what about Chris?
01:04:26The last time I saw him, he was running away through your life.
01:04:29I told you he was gay.
01:04:30Oh.
01:04:31Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:32Oh, cramp.
01:04:34Oh.
01:04:35Oh.
01:04:36I think it's broken.
01:04:37It's broken.
01:04:38So wait.
01:04:39None of us cashed in our V-card.
01:04:43Ha!
01:04:45Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:47So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:50Can I go?
01:04:51No.
01:04:53I think I should finish up here.
01:04:54Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:57No.
01:04:59I don't know.
01:05:00For some reason I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:05:03Or something.
01:05:05Why?
01:05:06Do you know him?
01:05:07Sort of.
01:05:08Oh.
01:05:09Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:19Love him.
01:05:20Shut it.
01:05:21You wanna do it?
01:05:22I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:23You wanna get married?
01:05:24You wanna do it?
01:05:25All right, all right, all right.
01:05:26That's okay.
01:05:46Um, no.
01:05:53No way.
01:06:00Ugh.
01:06:09Oh, well.
01:06:10There's always next year.
01:06:16It's you.
01:06:34I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:06:39Joanna.
01:06:40Hmm.
01:06:46I'm, you, you.
01:07:00Oh.
01:08:05Yeah, I have to go see him.
01:08:10Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:161-900 confess.
01:08:27Sister Terese?
01:08:29Yeah, hon.
01:08:31There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:33I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:36Oh, sure.
01:08:37It's 271.
01:08:40Sister, I know this isn't a confession,
01:08:42but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:45Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:49Take you back?
01:08:51Sure, hon.
01:08:52Why not?
01:08:53As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:56Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:02Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:09:06Sister, can I get up now?
01:09:10No.
01:09:11I really gotta pee.
01:09:12No!
01:09:13Hush your trap!
01:09:15Okay, honey.
01:09:16I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:09:19I will.
01:09:20Thanks.
01:09:21Sister?
01:09:22Shut up!
01:09:23Or I'll punish you hard, you sheep!
01:09:24Fucker!
01:09:25Eric, wait.
01:09:26Cheryl?
01:09:27What?
01:09:28What?
01:09:29What?
01:09:30What?
01:09:31What?
01:09:32What?
01:09:33What?
01:09:34What?
01:09:35What?
01:09:36What?
01:09:37What?
01:09:38What?
01:09:39What?
01:09:40What?
01:09:41What?
01:09:42What?
01:09:43What?
01:09:44What?
01:09:45What?
01:09:46What?
01:09:47What?
01:09:48What?
01:09:49Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:56I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:09:59At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:10:02I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:10:05The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:08Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:13And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:16I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is.
01:10:19And he's all over these-
01:10:20Eric!
01:10:21Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:24Oh.
01:10:25Wow.
01:10:26Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:29Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:31Hi.
01:10:32Nice to meet you.
01:10:36Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:10:40Wanna get back?
01:10:41Yeah.
01:10:42Sure.
01:10:48Oh.
01:10:49Sorry.
01:10:50No kissing.
01:10:51Right.
01:10:52No.
01:10:53Kissing.
01:10:54Oh.
01:10:55Mm.
01:10:56Mm.
01:10:57Mm.
01:10:58Mm.
01:10:59Mm.
01:11:00Mm.
01:11:01Mm.
01:11:02Mm.
01:11:03Mm.
01:11:04Mm.
01:11:05Mm.
01:11:06Mm.
01:11:07Mm.
01:11:08Mm.
01:11:09Mm.
01:11:10Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:14I, I don't even care that you hooked up a Plexi.
01:11:16Wait, what?
01:11:17I never did that.
01:11:19I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:21She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:24She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:31I wonder who it was.
01:11:51At least this birthday is over.
01:11:54Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:08I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like send me a sign.
01:12:24Excuse me, excuse me. Do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:38Um, yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to. Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:54Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:59Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:01Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:11Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque. Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:19I don't think so. But thanks.
01:13:23What's your name? Sue. What's yours?
01:13:26Jesus.
01:13:28Really?
01:13:29Tea.
01:13:30Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:34I think I could use the ride.
01:13:35I think I could use the ride.
01:13:37If you again if I could use the ride cry today.
01:13:38I think I could use some snorkeling gooey...
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