Good Girls Gone Wild FULLHD

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Transcript

00:00:00Oh, bad.

00:00:30Hello?

00:00:31Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.

00:00:34I mean, it's only two days away,

00:00:35and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.

00:00:38So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...

00:00:42Me too.

00:00:43Um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.

00:00:46Um, I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.

00:00:49Uh, I'm going to lose my virginity to him.

00:00:52You know, I want to surprise him.

00:00:54What? But you can't.

00:00:56I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.

00:00:59Besides, you can't do that to us.

00:01:01You can't break tradition that way.

00:01:04This is bad.

00:01:06You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.

00:01:07She's going to be very unhappy about this.

00:01:16Come on, Lexi.

00:01:18So girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?

00:01:33Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.

00:01:38But this is the big 1-8.

00:01:40I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital,

00:01:42we've done something new and special,

00:01:44but this has to be newer and more special.

00:01:47So what's something we've never done before?

00:01:49Mushrooms?

00:01:51No, not like that.

00:01:52Like something nice.

00:01:54Like maybe a trip.

00:01:56Like a mushroom trip?

00:01:57No.

00:01:59Sorry, Sue.

00:02:00I have a date.

00:02:02So do I.

00:02:04Sorry, Sue.

00:02:05Don't worry, Sue.

00:02:06We'll figure it out.

00:02:19Oh, flowers.

00:02:20Are these from you?

00:02:21Yeah, sure.

00:02:22Here you go.

00:02:24No card, but I thought I saw one.

00:02:27I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.

00:02:30I guess you still make me nervous.

00:02:35Oh, Jake.

00:02:40Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.

00:02:43No, Jake.

00:02:44Not yet.

00:02:45When we do it, I want it to be really special.

00:02:47The best night of my life.

00:02:49It will be.

00:02:50I promise.

00:02:51It will always be amazing.

00:02:53With you and me.

00:02:54Together.

00:03:03Jake, no.

00:03:04I have to go.

00:03:05I have to work on my art project.

00:03:07You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,

00:03:10but I guess I should have taken more math.

00:03:14So you're going to come to my birthday, okay?

00:03:16This Saturday?

00:03:17Of course.

00:03:21Thanks.

00:03:22Okay.

00:03:23Bye.

00:03:24Nothing.

00:03:25Nothing.

00:03:26Nothing.

00:03:27Oh, baby.

00:03:28You're so hot.

00:03:29I'm going to do you so good.

00:03:30Oh, yeah, baby.

00:03:31Yeah.

00:03:32What was your name again?

00:03:33Rod.

00:03:34Sex guy.

00:03:35Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.

00:03:36You're right, I bet.

00:03:40Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?

00:03:41Oh, no.

00:03:42Does not compute.

00:03:43Want to talk in person ASAP.

00:03:44Oh, huh.

00:03:45Oh, huh.

00:03:46Hi.

00:03:50Hi.

00:03:55Hi.

00:03:5600.

00:04:12Oh, huh. Hi.

00:04:15When did you get home?

00:04:17So is it true?

00:04:18Yes, it is.

00:04:20It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.

00:04:24I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy

00:04:29and he has a really bright future ahead of him.

00:04:31So I just think it's the right time.

00:04:34Lexi, tell her, losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.

00:04:39On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.

00:04:41Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday or maybe even like our 28th, maybe.

00:04:49Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.

00:04:56I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.

00:05:05That's Cheryl. Sue is right.

00:05:07We do always do something special on our birthday.

00:05:09Oh, does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?

00:05:14It's not Jake.

00:05:16It's the male ideal.

00:05:18Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.

00:05:22Right.

00:05:23Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.

00:05:26I mean, it kind of sucks.

00:05:27I'm not really an artist.

00:05:28Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?

00:05:31The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.

00:05:34And I'm just not ready yet.

00:05:36I'm waiting for a sign.

00:05:38And then I'll know it's right.

00:05:39Look, I can go either way.

00:05:42I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.

00:05:46I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.

00:05:49Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.

00:05:52But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.

00:05:58You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.

00:06:04Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?

00:06:07To church to pray for you.

00:06:09Want to be first in line.

00:06:12I'm getting some sleep.

00:06:13Yeah, me too.

00:06:14Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

00:06:25It has been four days since my last confession.

00:06:27I accused myself of the following sins.

00:06:32Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...

00:06:35It's about sex.

00:06:39I mean, not me.

00:06:41I've never gone past second base with a guy.

00:06:44I've never even seen a guy's...

00:06:47Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.

00:06:50But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.

00:06:54But there was nothing there.

00:06:58Okay, so it's about my friends.

00:07:00My best friends.

00:07:02They're going to do something really bad this weekend.

00:07:04Okay.

00:07:06Third base.

00:07:07What?

00:07:08No.

00:07:09Like, sex.

00:07:10Like, intercourse?

00:07:12With boys, they barely even know.

00:07:14I mean, they really need us intervention, if you know what I mean.

00:07:17All the way.

00:07:18Go all the way.

00:07:20What?

00:07:21What?

00:07:23Ah!

00:07:24Ah!

00:07:25How could you do so?

00:07:27You're a bad, bad person.

00:07:31What?

00:07:33Ah!

00:07:38Yes!

00:07:39Run!

00:07:40Run!

00:07:40Home route!

00:07:44Damn it!

00:07:46Fuckin' Yankees.

00:07:49Sorry.

00:07:50Sorry.

00:07:50Sue, it is 1 p.m.

00:08:14What do you have, a little consideration?

00:08:16I'm trying to sleep.

00:08:17Geez, can you guys please keep it down?

00:08:22I have an announcement to make.

00:08:24I want to do it.

00:08:26Do you hear me?

00:08:27I want to do it.

00:08:29This weekend, on our birthday.

00:08:32Do what?

00:08:34It.

00:08:35Screw.

00:08:36Screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs, you know, shagging, fucking.

00:08:44You do.

00:08:45Uh, but what about all your religious stuff, and what about your sign from heaven?

00:08:50Oh, I got a sign, at church.

00:08:52Really?

00:08:53Well, okay, great.

00:08:56We're all in then.

00:08:58So we'll have a big pool party, and we'll do it there.

00:09:02Right?

00:09:03I'll start making the shopping list.

00:09:08Hey, Frank.

00:09:09Hi, Sue.

00:09:10Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.

00:09:12I don't know, do you think he'd even have fun?

00:09:13Yeah.

00:09:14He's blind.

00:09:15Blind people can do everything regular people can do.

00:09:19Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:09:20Hey.

00:09:21Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.

00:09:24It's for our birthdays.

00:09:25Do you want to come?

00:09:26Do you think he can see up my shorts?

00:09:27I don't know.

00:09:28I don't know.

00:09:29I don't know.

00:09:30I don't know.

00:09:31I don't know.

00:09:32I don't know.

00:09:33I don't know.

00:09:34I don't know.

00:09:35I don't know.

00:09:36I don't know.

00:09:37Do you think he'd even have fun?

00:09:38Yeah.

00:09:39He's blind.

00:09:40Blind people can do everything regular people can do.

00:09:42Do you want to see up my shorts?

00:09:54Well, my house looks done.

00:09:57Tomorrow's the big day.

00:09:59We finally turn 18.

00:10:00And finally lose our virginity.

00:10:03Well, we better get our beady sleep,

00:10:04because the party starts tomorrow at 2.

00:10:06So, OK, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake.

00:10:09And I'll probably do that guy, Rod.

00:10:12But, Sue, who are you going to pick?

00:10:13To pop your cherry?

00:10:15It's easy.

00:10:16I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.

00:10:21What the fuck is catechism?

00:10:22I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.

00:10:24Yeah.

00:10:33My soulmate.

00:10:37Chris?

00:10:38Sue, you, um, might want to think

00:10:41about picking a backup.

00:10:42I mean, what?

00:10:43No, Chris is perfect.

00:10:45He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.

00:10:48Plus, his name's Chris.

00:10:49It's a sign.

00:10:50Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.

00:10:55What?

00:10:56He does not.

00:10:57Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.

00:10:59He looks just like Justin Bieber.

00:11:01With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.

00:11:05Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?

00:11:07Look, Chris is my soulmate.

00:11:10Okay, well, sweet dreams.

00:11:12See you in the morning.

00:11:14I knew it would happen someday.

00:11:18I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

00:11:25I knew it would happen.

00:11:27Susan.

00:11:28What?

00:11:29Come on.

00:11:29Come.

00:11:32Come on.

00:11:32How the fuck's Ryan.

00:11:34I knew it would happen.

00:11:35Come on.

00:11:36Come on.

00:11:37Come on.

00:11:39Come on.

00:11:40Come on.

00:11:41Come on.

00:11:42Come on.

00:11:44Come on.

00:11:46Come on.

00:11:47You're so perfect.

00:12:17You knew that's what I look like.

00:12:47Too bad no one could ever compare to you.

00:13:03Tomorrow's the day.

00:13:17Oh my gosh.

00:13:27They're coming.

00:13:28Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.

00:13:33Ew, why?

00:13:35It's for Jake to unwrap me.

00:13:36It's going to be really sexy.

00:13:38I'm going to start.

00:13:39You're going to die of asphyxiation.

00:13:41He's going to be really sexy.

00:13:43It's stupid.

00:13:44Just screw him.

00:13:45That's what he wants.

00:13:46That's what all guys want.

00:13:47Who hurt you as a child?

00:13:49Oh, Christ.

00:13:50I don't have your mouth, too.

00:13:52Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,

00:13:55not someone they can just have sex with.

00:13:57You're an idiot.

00:13:58A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.

00:14:03Guys, seriously, come on.

00:14:04Hurry up.

00:14:09Oh, what a cool bracelet.

00:14:11I love it.

00:14:14You should put that down low because it's like,

00:14:16it's really...

00:14:16It's very fragile.

00:14:17Yeah.

00:14:18Okay.

00:14:18Set it down.

00:14:20Hurry up.

00:14:23Those were your anal beads, right?

00:14:24Yeah.

00:14:25Okay.

00:14:25Let's go.

00:14:25Oh, we're going to have some fun.

00:14:38Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.

00:14:52Nice.

00:14:53Nice.

00:15:02Happy birthday, Lex.

00:15:05Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.

00:15:07That is lip poison to plump your lips,

00:15:10but be careful it stings.

00:15:11And the other one is edible micellar joy.

00:15:15Oh, how did you know?

00:15:16I mean, I'm going to use both of these tonight.

00:15:24Poster, such a cutie.

00:15:27Please don't touch my service time.

00:15:29All right.

00:15:29Sorry.

00:15:30Are you okay now?

00:15:31Yeah, I'm fine.

00:15:32I can't believe you haven't heard of it.

00:15:38This is crazy.

00:15:39Oh, my God.

00:15:39Jake.

00:15:40Hi.

00:15:41Hey, babe.

00:15:43Happy birthday.

00:15:45Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.

00:15:48What?

00:15:49You want a beer?

00:15:53No.

00:15:55Oh, hon.

00:15:58Yeah.

00:16:01I have your present here.

00:16:03I'll give it to you later.

00:16:04The time's right.

00:16:06You didn't have to give me anything.

00:16:09And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.

00:16:14Hey, bro.

00:16:16We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.

00:16:19A little bit.

00:16:22All right.

00:16:23This is my man right here.

00:16:25Hey.

00:16:26How you doing?

00:16:27Hey.

00:16:36Check it out.

00:16:39Dare me?

00:16:43Woo-hoo!

00:16:50Look at the girls.

00:16:51Look at the girls.

00:16:52Oh, dude.

00:16:56Look at those.

00:16:57Are those real?

00:16:58I don't...

00:16:58Have you guys seen Cheryl?

00:16:59Hey!

00:17:00Ah, dude, move!

00:17:01Come on, lame!

00:17:02Oh, all right.

00:17:03Okay.

00:17:04I'll see you guys later.

00:17:05Go do some push-ups or something.

00:17:06Oh, the moves.

00:17:0720 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.

00:17:11Yeah!

00:17:13They're fake anyways.

00:17:14Who cares?

00:17:16Okay.

00:17:20Oh, dude, dude.

00:17:21I'm blind, you fucking asshole.

00:17:23Sue, no, it's your birthday.

00:17:28Here, let me.

00:17:29Joanna, no.

00:17:29Just go enjoy the birdie.

00:17:31Come on.

00:17:33Open.

00:17:36Hey.

00:17:37Do my lips look any plumper?

00:17:38I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.

00:17:43Have you guys seen Jake?

00:17:44I haven't seen him anywhere.

00:17:45It just, like, disappeared.

00:17:46Are these real?

00:17:59Of course they are.

00:18:02How come I've never met you before?

00:18:04I don't know.

00:18:05Maybe he's going to be around.

00:18:06Ryan, have you seen Jake?

00:18:07Um, I think he's around or something.

00:18:10Maybe upstairs.

00:18:11I don't know.

00:18:13Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.

00:18:15That's probably where he went.

00:18:17The girl.

00:18:20Liquid courage?

00:18:22Yeah.

00:18:23Atta girl.

00:18:27Vodka cranberry?

00:18:28Surely simple.

00:18:31Well, I guess it's now or never.

00:18:33I can go meet her.

00:18:35Sue?

00:18:36Are you okay?

00:18:37Sue?

00:18:38Relax.

00:18:40They're just nice.

00:18:42Okay, nothing to be scared of.

00:18:43Seriously.

00:18:43It's going to be fine.

00:18:45Is Chris here?

00:18:51Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?

00:18:54No.

00:18:54He does not have gatefakes.

00:18:56I'm going to prove it to you.

00:18:58I'm going to do it.

00:19:04Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?

00:19:07No.

00:19:07He does not have gatefakes.

00:19:10I'm going to prove it to you.

00:19:10I'm going to do it.

00:19:12I'm going to do this.

00:19:14Good luck.

00:19:17Hey, you can do this.

00:19:19Just act like a slut.

00:19:23Just pretend you're Lexi.

00:19:26You know, my favorite chapter is Sodom and the War.

00:19:35Chris.

00:19:37Hi.

00:19:38Can I talk to you?

00:19:40Uh-huh.

00:19:41In private?

00:19:42Oh, hey, Lexi.

00:19:57Hey, Lexi.

00:19:58What?

00:19:59Chris.

00:20:01You're so sexy.

00:20:02Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.

00:20:10And I really want to...

00:20:13Oh, what are you doing?

00:20:15Is that wrong?

00:20:16Sue, what's gotten into you?

00:20:18Nothing.

00:20:18I'm sorry.

00:20:19I don't know how to do this.

00:20:21Sue.

00:20:23Sue, Sue.

00:20:24Sue, I understand these urges.

00:20:30And, you know, I like you too.

00:20:34Really?

00:20:35You do?

00:20:35I do.

00:20:36I really do.

00:20:38I like you too.

00:20:40Really?

00:20:41You do?

00:20:42I do.

00:20:43I really do.

00:20:44It's just...

00:20:45I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.

00:20:51Right.

00:20:52Lexi said you were...

00:20:53Jesus.

00:20:54Oh, that man.

00:20:56Of course.

00:20:57What did you think?

00:20:59Oh, nothing.

00:21:00So we can still do this then?

00:21:03Oh, Sue.

00:21:05You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular,

00:21:21with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun.

00:21:39And I just feel such compassion.

00:21:42I think about those things, too.

00:21:45So you understand why I can't do this?

00:21:49Not really.

00:21:50I just find it too hard.

00:21:52It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.

00:21:59I just...

00:22:00So...

00:22:01So...

00:22:03We're going to go out there, right?

00:22:12Andy, we're going to tell you three months.

00:22:14Hey, Ty.

00:22:15Whoa!

00:22:17Can you see him, Jake?

00:22:18Uh, no.

00:22:19No.

00:22:20All right.

00:22:24Okay.

00:22:24All right, focus.

00:22:25Focus, focus.

00:22:26Okay.

00:22:26Oh, there he is.

00:22:36Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.

00:22:51How could he?

00:22:55Two.

00:22:56What happened?

00:22:57Did you guys do it?

00:22:59Sue?

00:23:00He doesn't want me.

00:23:02Because he's gay.

00:23:03No, he's not.

00:23:04He just really loves Jesus.

00:23:06Oh, come on, Sue.

00:23:08The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.

00:23:13Look, the only way you're going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know what kind of woman you really are.

00:23:21Deep inside.

00:23:22What?

00:23:23Come with me.

00:23:25Where?

00:23:25To meet your dark side.

00:23:33Out.

00:23:35Everyone out.

00:23:44Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.

00:23:49I really can't.

00:24:01I really don't think I can do this.

00:24:04I'm not letting you out until you look.

00:24:09I'm not letting you out until you look.

00:24:14Sue?

00:24:15Can you see it?

00:24:18Sue.

00:24:22I'm almost...

00:24:23I'm almost there.

00:24:28Oh!

00:24:29What?

00:24:31What?

00:24:32Sue, what happened?

00:24:33What did you see?

00:24:35A raccoon?

00:24:36What?

00:24:36You overshot it.

00:24:39Aim the mirror further up.

00:24:47I can't.

00:24:48Please don't make me do that again.

00:24:49Okay, fine.

00:24:51Fine.

00:24:52I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.

00:24:55What?

00:24:56You really need an orgasm.

00:24:59Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it with yourself.

00:25:04This really has to be your first step.

00:25:06Lex, I'm waiting.

00:25:08Coming.

00:25:09Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.

00:25:11Just find it and use it.

00:25:14Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?

00:25:16It's black.

00:25:17It vibrates.

00:25:20Come on, Rod.

00:25:21Let's go to Sue's room.

00:25:24Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.

00:25:26Hey, cutie!

00:25:39Cutie!

00:25:44Boozeye!

00:25:45Oh, yeah!

00:25:49Bang.

00:25:51Bang.

00:25:52Bang.

00:25:54Good boy.

00:25:54Straighten up.

00:25:56Good boy.

00:25:57Good boy.

00:25:59He knows over a hundred commands.

00:26:02I'm sorry, I can't see anything.

00:26:04That is not funny, Cheryl.

00:26:06What a bitch.

00:26:08Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.

00:26:10Ah!

00:26:15Ah!

00:26:19Ah!

00:26:21Ah!

00:26:24Ah!

00:26:25Ah!

00:26:26Ah!

00:26:27Ah!

00:26:28Ah!

00:26:38Oh, shit!

00:26:43What's wrong with this thing?

00:26:55What's wrong with this thing?

00:26:56Ah!

00:26:57Ah!

00:26:58Ah!

00:27:02Cheryl, what is wrong?

00:27:03Ah!

00:27:04Lexi, it's Jake.

00:27:06He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.

00:27:10For sure?

00:27:11Ah!

00:27:12I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe, maybe it's my fault.

00:27:15That's no excuse.

00:27:17He's a dirtbag.

00:27:18How dare he?

00:27:19No, it's awful.

00:27:20No, it's awful.

00:27:21I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.

00:27:22I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.

00:27:26Oh.

00:27:27It's a text.

00:27:28It's from him.

00:27:29I can't bear myself to read it.

00:27:30Okay.

00:27:31Uh, he's looking for you.

00:27:32He wants to give you your birthday gift.

00:27:33Oh, I can't face him.

00:27:34Um, I have to go.

00:27:35I'm going.

00:27:36No, you can't just leave.

00:27:37Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.

00:27:38I mean, maybe I should confront him.

00:27:39No.

00:27:40He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.

00:27:41Either way, it's bullshit.

00:27:42I see only one option.

00:27:43I'm leaving.

00:27:44Revenge sex.

00:27:45Reve...

00:27:46I mean, what?

00:27:47What does that even mean?

00:27:48It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.

00:28:06But he...

00:28:07I mean, he doesn't even care.

00:28:08He doesn't even care about me.

00:28:09I mean, why would...

00:28:10He's just into other girls.

00:28:11Trust me.

00:28:12He'll care.

00:28:13Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.

00:28:14To his ego.

00:28:15To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.

00:28:17Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.

00:28:21No, I don't.

00:28:22I don't.

00:28:23I don't.

00:28:24I don't.

00:28:25I don't.

00:28:26I don't.

00:28:27I don't.

00:28:28I don't.

00:28:29I don't.

00:28:30I don't.

00:28:31I don't.

00:28:32I don't.

00:28:33I don't.

00:28:34I don't.

00:28:35No, I couldn't.

00:28:36Plus, I mean, there's no one smarter and better looking.

00:28:41Eric.

00:28:42He's perfect.

00:28:43Eric Hall?

00:28:44Are you kidding?

00:28:45I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.

00:28:48He likes your type.

00:28:49Really?

00:28:50And what type is that?

00:28:51He's funny.

00:28:52Yeah.

00:28:53Trust me.

00:28:54He's amazing.

00:28:55I fooled around with him once.

00:28:56He has this great tongue, right?

00:28:58Oh, no.

00:28:59I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.

00:29:02Okay, then.

00:29:03Fine.

00:29:04We will find someone else.

00:29:05Someone that I haven't.

00:29:07I fooled around.

00:29:11Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?

00:29:14I mean, that's how you're not going to marry the guy.

00:29:16No, I just couldn't do it.

00:29:18Fine.

00:29:19If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,

00:29:23to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,

00:29:26and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it,

00:29:30go ahead.

00:29:31But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.

00:29:35I don't know.

00:29:38But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.

00:29:42I don't know.

00:29:44Trust me.

00:29:45It's going to work.

00:29:49I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.

00:29:54Hi, Cheryl.

00:29:55Are you okay enough to chat with her?

00:29:58Oh, no.

00:30:10Hey.

00:30:12Happy birthday.

00:30:14Thanks.

00:30:19Have you guys seen Jake?

00:30:37So, happy birthday.

00:30:47Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain, but

00:30:51it's actually from us, U.S., America, United States?

00:30:58I know where we live.

00:30:59Right.

00:31:00Of course.

00:31:04I know where we live.

00:31:06Right.

00:31:07Of course.

00:31:12Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?

00:31:15Oh, you want me to move?

00:31:16Yeah, no, I can totally move.

00:31:17I just...

00:31:18No, you're fine.

00:31:31Jake!

00:31:34So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?

00:31:35Oh, I'm sorry.

00:31:38It?

00:31:39What, um...

00:31:40It.

00:31:41Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.

00:31:47Oh!

00:31:48Oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?

00:31:52I mean, well, yeah.

00:31:54You know, the sooner the better.

00:31:55Yeah, sure, I mean, well, yeah, of course.

00:31:59Um, I just never realized that you...

00:32:01I mean...

00:32:04Whew, uh, it's just...

00:32:08You're so...

00:32:11You're so beautiful.

00:32:14Okay.

00:32:14Um...

00:32:14Hmm?

00:32:15Uh, no cuisine.

00:32:18Right.

00:32:19Um, of course.

00:32:21Sorry?

00:32:21Sorry.

00:32:21So, um, do you want to unwrap me?

00:32:29Oh, wow.

00:32:29Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.

00:32:34Now that you're left over, you're not.

00:32:36Yeah, yeah, uh, you're fresh.

00:32:40Now that you're left over, you're not.

00:32:42Yeah, yeah, uh, you're fresh.

00:32:45Organic.

00:32:46Yep.

00:32:49So, the wrap.

00:32:50Right.

00:32:51Um, where's the, uh...

00:32:54It's, uh, the end that I just, like, right over here.

00:32:56Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.

00:32:57Yeah.

00:32:58That's where I see it.

00:32:58Um, let me just, uh...

00:33:00Ow, ow, ow.

00:33:03Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

00:33:04I, um...

00:33:05It's okay.

00:33:06Do it again.

00:33:09Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.

00:33:12You know what?

00:33:13Let me just lay on the bed.

00:33:15Okay.

00:33:20Uh, let me just see.

00:33:24Oh, here it is.

00:33:25I got it.

00:33:26All right.

00:33:26It's, um, full of...

00:33:28Let me just...

00:33:29Oh, jeez.

00:33:33Uh, Cheryl, are you...

00:33:34Are you okay?

00:33:35Help!

00:33:35Uh...

00:33:36Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?

00:33:42Oh, jeez.

00:33:43Well, that was stupid.

00:33:52Yeah.

00:33:57How you doing tonight?

00:34:00You having a good time?

00:34:01Yeah?

00:34:02You good?

00:34:02Jake, I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.

00:34:06What?

00:34:07I can't hear you.

00:34:09I need another beer.

00:34:11The chips are so damn salty.

00:34:12Jake!

00:34:12It's right here.

00:34:14Upstairs.

00:34:15Yeah.

00:34:16Hold on.

00:34:17I'll take a piss.

00:34:18How much beer?

00:34:19Yeah.

00:34:19I have a good time.

00:34:44Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, don't, don't worry about it.

00:34:50What?

00:34:51I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.

00:34:54Oh.

00:34:55Well, OK.

00:34:56OK.

00:34:57Mm.

00:35:14OK.

00:35:15OK.

00:35:16OK.

00:35:17Finally.

00:35:18I, uh, let me just get the blinds.

00:35:21Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:35:23Um, don't, don't worry about it.

00:35:25What?

00:35:26I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.

00:35:30Oh.

00:35:32Well, OK.

00:35:33OK.

00:35:44Oh, no, no, no.

00:35:54Oh, no.

00:35:57Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:36:03Oh, no, no.

00:36:07Ah, ah, ah.

00:36:12What are you doing?

00:36:20Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.

00:36:28Um, not yet.

00:36:29More foreplay.

00:36:30Huh?

00:36:30Oh.

00:36:37So good.

00:36:40Oh.

00:36:40Yep.

00:36:43Oh, my God.

00:36:45Jaw, jaw, jaw.

00:36:46What?

00:36:47What?

00:36:47Ah.

00:36:48Oh.

00:36:49Ah, yeah.

00:36:51Lock jaw, lock jaw.

00:36:52Is that even a thing?

00:36:54I don't know.

00:36:57Ah.

00:36:58Are you okay?

00:37:01No, no, no, no.

00:37:02It's, uh, it's fine.

00:37:04I'm just embarrassed.

00:37:06I, it's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.

00:37:13Are you sure you're okay?

00:37:15Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

00:37:16Okay, great.

00:37:17Have fun.

00:37:17Oh.

00:37:23Now.

00:37:24Now, let's do it now.

00:37:25No, not yet.

00:37:26Not yet.

00:37:26All right, I'm going to come.

00:37:30I'm going to come.

00:37:31Not yet, not yet.

00:37:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:37:34No, no, no, no, not yet.

00:37:35Lexi.

00:37:36Lexi.

00:37:36Oh, shit.

00:37:37Oh.

00:37:41No, no, no, not yet.

00:37:42Lexi.

00:37:43Lexi.

00:37:44Oh, shit.

00:37:45Oh.

00:37:46No means no.

00:37:47Huh?

00:37:48Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:37:49I'm sorry.

00:37:50I'm sorry.

00:37:50It's been a really long time, and I just, I haven't masturbated for anything.

00:37:54Uh-oh.

00:38:00Oh, hey, Jake.

00:38:01How you doing?

00:38:05How's it going?

00:38:06Good.

00:38:07Eric?

00:38:08Come.

00:38:09Eric, help me.

00:38:10I'm glad I can't see anything.

00:38:12Excuse me.

00:38:17Cheryl's in here.

00:38:22What's up, bro?

00:38:23What the, what the fuck is, I can't, sorry.

00:38:27Hey, wait.

00:38:29Lexi.

00:38:30Lexi.

00:38:30I'm still waiting.

00:38:37Oh, I'm sorry.

00:38:38I can't see.

00:38:39I'm blind.

00:38:41Damn it.

00:38:43I'm going to save somebody to know that bitch.

00:38:45Hey, you.

00:38:47You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm going to teach you a lesson.

00:38:51Ow!

00:38:52I'm so sorry.

00:38:55I'll never make fun of the blind again.

00:38:58Ow!

00:38:58Hey, honey, honey, honey.

00:38:59What the do you do?

00:39:01Oh, man.

00:39:06What the hell?

00:39:07I can't see you.

00:39:08Oh, man.

00:39:09I can't see you.

00:39:10I can't see you.

00:39:11I can't see you.

00:39:13I can't see you.

00:39:14I can't see you.

00:39:15Oh, man, no more water balloons.

00:39:23This party's ass.

00:39:25Yeah!

00:39:30This just isn't working.

00:39:34Nothing.

00:39:35What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?

00:39:38Oh, man, I love this game.

00:39:50We're the controllers.

00:39:51We gotta play.

00:39:52Here, here, here.

00:39:53Okay, let me find another one.

00:39:56Whoa!

00:39:58Look at this.

00:40:00Fuel, fuel, fuel.

00:40:03Get that thing away, Jesus.

00:40:05Hey, dude, nice shot.

00:40:15Wasn't me.

00:40:21Whoa, whoa, nice.

00:40:24Are you sitting there or something?

00:40:27Hey, you found the grenade launcher.

00:40:28Nice, nice.

00:40:35Do you have the extra controller?

00:40:42Whoa!

00:40:43You are the controller.

00:40:44No, I just, I didn't, I swear, I...

00:40:49What's up?

00:40:50Hey, Sue.

00:40:50What's up, man?

00:40:51It's okay.

00:40:52It's okay.

00:40:53Hey, Sue.

00:40:54Hey, Sue.

00:40:55You are the controller.

00:40:57No, I just, I didn't, I swear, I.

00:41:11All right, all right.

00:41:12Hey, hey, Sue.

00:41:13What's going on, man?

00:41:17It's all right, um, hey, Sue.

00:41:25Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?

00:41:31Yeah, I just needed to, um.

00:41:34Oh, sure.

00:41:36Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.

00:41:42You were?

00:41:43You mean?

00:41:45Yeah.

00:41:49So you think we should give it a try?

00:41:52Could we go get a drink?

00:41:55Wow, um, your toilet's really, oh, you, you know what?

00:42:02I gotta go.

00:42:03Um, happy birthday.

00:42:04No, Chris, no, there wasn't, I didn't, oh, God, never mind.

00:42:20This was the worst idea ever.

00:42:23Never going to have sex.

00:42:25Now.

00:42:45Hello?

00:42:46A little attention here.

00:42:48Oh, yeah.

00:42:48Sorry.

00:42:49Lex, don't be selfish.

00:42:56All right.

00:42:58Sorry.

00:43:10Jeez.

00:43:12Who invented this stupid position anyway?

00:43:15Too much fucking multitasking.

00:43:18Screw it.

00:43:19Let's go.

00:43:49Oh, that was bad.

00:44:01That was so bad.

00:44:02Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?

00:44:20I think that guy's name starts with a J.

00:44:22Hey, does your name start with a J?

00:44:29Yes, it does.

00:44:31So you're JJ?

00:44:31Uh-oh.

00:44:33Hello.

00:44:33Welcome to 1-900-Confess.

00:44:46Would you like a priest or a nun today?

00:45:00A nun.

00:45:01Please punch in your credit card number.

00:45:08Please hold.

00:45:09Oh, thank goodness.

00:45:141-900-Confession.

00:45:15How may I be of service?

00:45:17It's been one day since my last confession.

00:45:18I accuse myself of the following sins.

00:45:21One day.

00:45:24Ow!

00:45:29Is that too long?

00:45:30I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.

00:45:33Go on.

00:45:33Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.

00:45:39Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.

00:45:41What's her problem?

00:45:43A washing machine touched her.

00:45:44Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well.

00:45:49All right, freak, time's up.

00:45:51What?

00:45:52But what do I do?

00:45:53Just unplug the thing.

00:45:54No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.

00:45:58Well, then be happy.

00:46:00You found the perfect man.

00:46:01I'm serious.

00:46:02Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.

00:46:09Masturbation isn't a sin.

00:46:11No contritions?

00:46:13You broke no covenant with God.

00:46:15It's not in the Bible.

00:46:17So the washing machine could touch me anytime?

00:46:20Like morning, afternoon, night?

00:46:23Yes, and other things can touch you.

00:46:26Accidental masturbation is not a sin.

00:46:28Neither is intentional masturbation.

00:46:31Huh.

00:46:32God's pretty cool that way.

00:46:34He sure is.

00:46:35Now run along.

00:46:39Wow.

00:46:40How do you know all that?

00:46:43Because I'm a nun.

00:46:44Now eat my pussy, bitch.

00:46:47Huh.

00:46:47Accidental masturbation.

00:46:49Who would have thought?

00:46:50Revenge sex.

00:47:00What a stupid fucking idea.

00:47:02God, I'm getting out of here.

00:47:06Yeah, admit it.

00:47:07I've got no game.

00:47:09I guess I can skip it.

00:47:10I guess I'm a few more.

00:47:15Fucking douchebag.

00:47:16No, I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.

00:47:22You go, girl.

00:47:24What?

00:47:26What are you doing here?

00:47:28We needed someplace private.

00:47:30But hey, listen.

00:47:31If you're serious about getting laid.

00:47:33Yeah?

00:47:34If you want someone great.

00:47:35I mean, really, the best ever.

00:47:39No offense.

00:47:41Frank, the blind guy?

00:47:43Really?

00:47:44I'm telling you, he's amazing.

00:47:48I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.

00:47:50It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.

00:47:53It was like we used all our senses.

00:47:55Everything.

00:47:58If you're interested, I'll set it up.

00:48:02All right.

00:48:09What about him?

00:48:10Jeremy.

00:48:11Oh, yeah.

00:48:12I know Jeremy.

00:48:13Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.

00:48:16I didn't know his last name, though.

00:48:18It's Jones.

00:48:20Jeremy Jones.

00:48:21This all makes sense.

00:48:23Excuse me.

00:48:25Jeremy.

00:48:26Hi.

00:48:27Hey.

00:48:28Who's on the phone?

00:48:29Oh, that's my new girlfriend.

00:48:31No meter.

00:48:32I'll have to be here in like an hour.

00:48:34Wait.

00:48:34You have a girlfriend?

00:48:48Oh.

00:48:49Hey, Frank.

00:48:51Sit.

00:48:55Oh, you meant the dog.

00:48:58Relax.

00:49:02You need to relax and calm down.

00:49:13Oh, I'm relaxed.

00:49:15I'm fine.

00:49:16Why are you biting your nail?

00:49:18I'm not.

00:49:21How did you know that?

00:49:22I'm not.

00:49:25Corner.

00:49:29Sit.

00:49:31Roll over.

00:49:35Oh, you mean me.

00:49:39Roll over.

00:49:42Oh, you mean me.

00:49:44Oh, how do you...

00:49:45How do you want me to...

00:49:46Just lay down.

00:49:48You know, it...

00:49:48I...

00:49:49Oh, oh.

00:50:00I shouldn't even be doing this, but...

00:50:02Considering it a teachable moment.

00:50:05Okay.

00:50:09Oh.

00:50:11See me with your hands.

00:50:17All right.

00:50:18Uh...

00:50:18You know, I should really...

00:50:26I have a boyfriend,

00:50:27and I shouldn't be doing this.

00:50:28Really.

00:50:32Oh.

00:50:41Mmm, peanut butter.

00:50:42Mmm.

00:50:43Mmm.

00:50:44Mmm.

00:50:45Mmm.

00:50:46Mmm.

00:50:47Mmm.

00:50:48Mmm.

00:50:49Mmm.

00:50:50Mmm.

00:50:51Mmm.

00:50:52Mmm.

00:50:53Mmm.

00:50:54Mmm.

00:50:55Mmm.

00:50:56Mmm.

00:50:57Frank.

00:50:58Frank.

00:50:58Oh.

00:50:59Oh, Frank.

00:51:01Oh.

00:51:01Oh, Frank.

00:51:26Oh, Frank.

00:51:27You know, man?

00:51:28Dude, give me two.

00:51:29My chips, one boy.

00:51:31Dude, give me two, man.

00:51:32My chips.

00:51:33Dude, my chips.

00:51:34Dude, my chips.

00:51:35Dude, give me two.

00:51:36My chips?

00:51:38Guys, why are you making such a mess?

00:51:41Sorry.

00:51:49It's just a case of accidental masturbation.

00:51:51That's all masturbation.

00:51:52That's all.

00:51:53No, why don't we do this?

00:51:54Go ahead.

00:51:55I got it.

00:51:56I got it.

00:51:57No, I got it.

00:51:58No, really.

00:51:59Please.

00:52:00I want to help.

00:52:01Okay, everybody out.

00:52:02Leave.

00:52:03I have to back you.

00:52:04I got it.

00:52:05Okay, everybody out.

00:52:06Leave.

00:52:07I have to back you.

00:52:21You're not even getting the chips.

00:52:22They're over here.

00:52:23I see some dust over here, so...

00:52:27So, it's just so much dust on this floor.

00:52:33It's a dirty floor.

00:52:35It's such a dirty, dirty floor.

00:52:39And it's...

00:52:57Okay.

00:52:58Oh, all right.

00:53:01I think I got all that.

00:53:03I'm just going to...

00:53:04I'll see you at home.

00:53:11We got it.

00:53:12Oh, here we go.

00:53:14Frankie.

00:53:16Oh, my...

00:53:17What was that?

00:53:18What?

00:53:19Ah, fucking shit.

00:53:21Man, we got a smoke.

00:53:22Oh, we can smoke in here.

00:53:25Stop.

00:53:26Frank, stop teasing Frank.

00:53:28Oh, shit.

00:53:30Sorry, man.

00:53:31We're just looking for a place to finish this road.

00:53:33Oh, I heard something.

00:53:34You want to join us?

00:53:36No, I might try.

00:53:36Come on, you gotta do it.

00:53:38Come on.

00:53:39Seriously, guys.

00:53:39What's your dog, man?

00:53:41What's it like being blinded?

00:53:42It's trippy.

00:53:47Frank?

00:53:49Frank, are we going to do something soon?

00:53:50Bro, you are too funny.

00:53:57Thanks, man.

00:53:58Oh, this is some good stuff.

00:54:00I haven't smoked since junior high.

00:54:01Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.

00:54:04Wait, wait, wait.

00:54:05I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.

00:54:10Damn, I really can't remember.

00:54:11This is some good shit.

00:54:12You're the devil.

00:54:17You're the devil.

00:54:33No more.

00:54:34JJ, I'm Jeremy.

00:54:39You have to remember that amazing time we had together,

00:54:42don't you?

00:54:43Please.

00:54:44Lex, I can't.

00:54:46I mean, I got a girlfriend.

00:54:48I really like this girl.

00:54:50Fine.

00:54:51It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra,

00:54:56and I also have on crotchless panties

00:54:59with just a little string of pearl in front

00:55:02for extra stimulation.

00:55:05Oh.

00:55:09We've got, like, 30 minutes before she gets here.

00:55:12Perfect.

00:55:16Before she gets here.

00:55:17Perfect.

00:55:18Do it.

00:55:29Let's do it.

00:55:30Fuck me.

00:55:31Fuck me now.

00:55:36What?

00:55:37What's wrong?

00:55:38I can't.

00:55:39I can't get it in.

00:55:41It's too dry down there.

00:55:42It's a desert down there.

00:55:44It's sandpaper.

00:55:46Okay, I get the picture.

00:55:48Just try it again.

00:55:51No.

00:55:52Why is this happening?

00:55:54We fooled around before.

00:55:56I was dripping wet.

00:55:57I came, like, four times, remember?

00:55:59Just do what you did then.

00:56:00Go on.

00:56:01I already did my thing.

00:56:02I already tried.

00:56:05What?

00:56:05What is different this time?

00:56:07I don't know.

00:56:09Last time, I honestly don't even know

00:56:14what you're talking about.

00:56:15What?

00:56:15You're not JJ?

00:56:19But your name is Jeremy Jones.

00:56:21How can you not be JJ?

00:56:23Who the hell is this JJ?

00:56:26Where are you going?

00:56:27We're not done here.

00:56:29I can still do this.

00:56:30I just need a little bit of work.

00:56:31I can do this.

00:56:32I don't need JJ.

00:56:34I don't need anyone else.

00:56:35We can do this.

00:56:37Go team.

00:56:42What?

00:56:43Just keep going.

00:56:44Oh.

00:56:47Jeremy.

00:56:48Are you going to be here?

00:56:49Shit.

00:56:51Jeremy.

00:56:54Where's Jeremy?

00:57:00We were just, you know, working on.

00:57:05Hey, babe.

00:57:06Just working out.

00:57:11How could you, you bastard?

00:57:16You might want to.

00:57:17What?

00:57:19What?

00:57:20What?

00:57:24Mariela.

00:57:25Mariela.

00:57:27You know, those aren't mine.

00:57:28At least not all of them.

00:57:31What is wrong with you?

00:57:36What is wrong with you?

00:57:39You used to be so pure.

00:57:42Well, no more.

00:57:42That's it.

00:57:44Really, that's the last one.

00:57:45Oh, my God.

00:57:56Come on.

00:57:56Oh.

00:57:57Cheryl?

00:58:15What is it?

00:58:20What are you doing down here?

00:58:22I'm waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.

00:58:27What?

00:58:28Why?

00:58:29Nothing.

00:58:30Just this blind guy and his dog and ugh.

00:58:33Honey.

00:58:34It's gonna be okay.

00:58:36No, it's not okay.

00:58:38God.

00:58:39And you know whose fault it is?

00:58:41I'm sorry.

00:58:42It's Jake's.

00:58:43Jake's fault.

00:58:44That blind cheating bastard.

00:58:47Yes.

00:58:48He is such a dickwad.

00:58:49You need to confront him.

00:58:51Yeah.

00:58:52Yeah, I need to confront him.

00:58:53I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?

00:58:56Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?

00:58:58You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.

00:59:01Yeah, a big piece.

00:59:02A big old chunk of my mind.

00:59:04A big piece of it.

00:59:05Yeah.

00:59:06You know, you might wanna...

00:59:09You need to look hot while you break up with him.

00:59:11Yeah, you're right.

00:59:12Why am I wearing a sheet?

00:59:13I know.

00:59:14I'm sorry.

00:59:15I'm sorry.

00:59:16I get shy around beautiful women like you.

00:59:18I got no game.

00:59:19It's not important.

00:59:20It's not important.

00:59:25Hey, um...

00:59:26Eric, I can't talk right now.

00:59:27No, no, no.

00:59:28I really need to talk to you.

00:59:29Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...

00:59:30No, no, no, no.

00:59:31I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

00:59:32No, no, no.

00:59:33I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

00:59:34about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make it up to you.

00:59:37Eric, really?

00:59:38No, no, no.

00:59:39I really need to talk to you.

00:59:41Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...

00:59:43No, no, no, no.

00:59:44I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make it

01:00:02up to you.

01:00:03Eric, really?

01:00:04I don't care.

01:00:05It's fine.

01:00:06No, but I do.

01:00:07I mean, I do.

01:00:08I care.

01:00:09I haven't known how to tell you.

01:00:12Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.

01:00:15But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.

01:00:21Soon.

01:00:22Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while, and it would be nice to go out.

01:00:26Really?

01:00:27Eric, you're shy.

01:00:28You have no game.

01:00:30No, not really.

01:00:32Yeah, no, I can't do this.

01:00:33Sorry.

01:00:34Okay.

01:00:35All right.

01:00:36I, uh...

01:00:37Happy birthday, then.

01:00:38Oh, I'm sorry.

01:00:39I was trying to kiss you.

01:00:41Wow.

01:00:42Wow.

01:00:43Wow.

01:00:44Wow.

01:00:45Wow.

01:00:46Wow.

01:00:47Wow.

01:00:48Wow.

01:00:49Wow.

01:00:50Wow.

01:00:52Here I come, baby.

01:00:53Get ready for your big birthday surprise.

01:00:54Oh, wow.

01:00:55What's the day?

01:00:56Oh, I don't know.

01:00:57I want to do this.

01:00:58I want to do this.

01:00:59Oh, sorry.

01:01:00I'm sorry.

01:01:01I was trying to kiss you.

01:01:02Wow.

01:01:03I want to do this one.

01:01:04Wow.

01:01:05Wow.

01:01:06Wow.

01:01:07Wow.

01:01:09Wow.

01:01:14God.

01:01:16Here I come baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.

01:01:23Oh, Mary, stop. Um, we can't do this.

01:01:28Oh god, Mary, not again.

01:01:30Oh no, um...

01:01:31Honey, happy...

01:01:33What the fuck is this? Who the hell are you, dude?

01:01:37Okay, guys, don't.

01:01:40Cheryl, baby, what is this?

01:01:45Aw, gee, Cheryl. You're...

01:01:48I've been looking for you all night and you've been...

01:01:51Oh man, no wonder I couldn't find you.

01:01:53You couldn't find me?

01:01:55What about all those girls' vaginas you were in

01:01:58or your penis getting sucked?

01:02:00Cheryl, honey.

01:02:01No, no.

01:02:02We can work this out.

01:02:03Baby, I love you.

01:02:05Jake, no, you have to go.

01:02:06Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.

01:02:08I promise.

01:02:09No, Jake, I can't do this. I'm sorry.

01:02:11Cheryl, come on.

01:02:13No, Jake, please, just go, just go. I'm sorry.

01:02:16You're a harmless bitch!

01:02:18How can you do...

01:02:19Yay! You did it.

01:02:21I am so proud of you.

01:02:22You got your revenge sex.

01:02:24You left him a mere shell of a man.

01:02:26Revenge sex?

01:02:28It's really not what it sounds like at all.

01:02:31Right.

01:02:33It all makes sense now.

01:02:35Wow.

01:02:36I feel really stupid.

01:02:38Eric, I'm really...

01:02:39I'm really sorry.

01:02:41Cheryl, I really liked you.

01:02:44And you used me.

01:02:46Eric, please don't go.

01:02:48Please, Eric!

01:02:49Aren't you happy?

01:02:52Well, no, that's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.

01:02:56You mean the sex, was it?

01:02:58Yeah?

01:02:59No, we didn't quite do it.

01:03:01Oh.

01:03:02You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.

01:03:03Really?

01:03:04I just never found the right guy.

01:03:06Or guys.

01:03:07Anyway, we better get downstairs.

01:03:10People are starting to leave.

01:03:11I wonder how Sue did.

01:03:13I can't believe she dumped me, man.

01:03:26This is bullshit!

01:03:27God!

01:03:28Oh!

01:03:29Oh!

01:03:30Oh!

01:03:31Dude, suck it!

01:03:32What the?

01:03:33God, I'm out of here!

01:03:35Yeah!

01:03:36He has good hair, though.

01:03:38No, you puked on me.

01:03:43And don't tease my car, either.

01:03:45Right, Seth, Frank, that I might need a vacation.

01:03:50Vacation, vacation.

01:03:53Take this information through your head.

01:03:57Oh, Sue, are you all right?

01:04:01Was it from sex?

01:04:02Did you pop your cork?

01:04:03I don't think so.

01:04:04Not with the guy, anyway.

01:04:06Oh, don't ask.

01:04:08Every possible object.

01:04:10It's like every mechanical thing.

01:04:12It was like transformers.

01:04:14They just all became vibrators.

01:04:16I told you.

01:04:18It's addicting.

01:04:19So what about Chris?

01:04:22Well, last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.

01:04:24I told you he was gay.

01:04:25Oh.

01:04:26Well, I think I'm just all cramp.

01:04:30Oh.

01:04:31Oh, I think it's broken.

01:04:33So wait.

01:04:35None of us cashed an RV card.

01:04:41Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.

01:04:44So I was gonna go grab some food.

01:04:46Wanna go?

01:04:47No.

01:04:49I think I should finish up here.

01:04:51Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?

01:04:53No.

01:04:55I don't know.

01:04:56For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.

01:04:59Or something.

01:05:00Why?

01:05:01Do you know him?

01:05:02Sort of.

01:05:03Oh.

01:05:04Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, tell him I'd like to see him again.

01:05:08I love him.

01:05:09Shut it.

01:05:10You wanna do it with him?

01:05:11I don't wanna hear it with him.

01:05:12I don't wanna hear it with him.

01:05:13You wanna get married?

01:05:14You wanna do it with him?

01:05:15All right, all right, all right, all right.

01:05:17I hear it from you.

01:05:18I want to get married.

01:05:19You want to do it.

01:05:20Alright, alright, alright.

01:05:21No, no way.

01:05:49Oh, well.

01:06:05There's always next year.

01:06:15It's you.

01:06:30I've been waiting for you, JJ.

01:06:32Joanna.

01:06:33I don't know.

01:06:37It looks good.

01:07:53Who's Eric's?

01:07:56It's him, right?

01:07:59Oh.

01:08:01Yeah.

01:08:03I have to go see him.

01:08:05Well, I think you know what we should do.

01:08:11One nine hundred confess.

01:08:24Sister Therese?

01:08:26Yeah, hon.

01:08:27There was a problem with your credit card.

01:08:29I just need the last three numbers in the back.

01:08:32Oh, sure.

01:08:34It's two seven one.

01:08:36Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?

01:08:41Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you, like take you back?

01:08:47Sure, hon.

01:08:48Why not?

01:08:49As long as you're on the right path.

01:08:52Well, how do you know if you're on that path?

01:08:54I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.

01:08:59Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.

01:09:03Sister?

01:09:04Can I get up now?

01:09:06I really got to pee.

01:09:07No, hush your trap.

01:09:11Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.

01:09:15I will.

01:09:17Thanks.

01:09:20Sister?

01:09:21Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep, fucker!

01:09:37Eric, wait!

01:09:44Cheryl?

01:09:46Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.

01:09:52I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.

01:09:57I just didn't want to do that with you.

01:10:00The revenge part, not the sex part.

01:10:02Um, I, I do want to go out with you.

01:10:08And I didn't realize that until this morning.

01:10:12I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these-

01:10:15Eric!

01:10:17Come on, I've got to get going.

01:10:20Oh, wow.

01:10:21Um, Cheryl, this is my sister Tina.

01:10:24Tina, Cheryl.

01:10:26Hi, nice to meet you.

01:10:28Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days, when I get back?

01:10:37Yeah, sure.

01:10:44Oh, sorry, no kissing, right?

01:10:47No, kissing.

01:10:48Oh.

01:10:48Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?

01:11:09I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.

01:11:12Wait, what?

01:11:13I never did that.

01:11:14I mean, you don't have to lie about it.

01:11:17She told me all about your pierced tongue.

01:11:24She must have me mixed up with someone else.

01:11:27I wonder who it was.

01:11:28At least this birthday's over.

01:11:49Dear Lord, please forgive me.

01:12:03I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign.

01:12:07I don't know, like, send me a sign.

01:12:38Excuse me, excuse me.

01:12:40Uh, do you know where the church is?

01:12:41It's on Fountain Street.

01:12:43Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.

01:12:46Or used to go to.

01:12:47Um, it's straight up that way and then left.

01:12:53You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.

01:12:56Oh, um, I don't know.

01:12:57Ha.

01:13:04Well, that's pretty powerful.

01:13:06Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.

01:13:12Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.

01:13:16I don't think so.

01:13:18But thanks.

01:13:19What's your name?

01:13:20Sue.

01:13:21What's yours?

01:13:23Jesus.

01:13:24Really?

01:13:26Si.

01:13:26Uh, maybe I could use the ride.

01:13:30Oh, my.

01:13:32No.

01:13:33No.

01:13:34Oh, my God.

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