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Dylan
  • 6/7/2025
Transcript
00:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30You could come with me.
00:32Is it always this dangerous?
00:34Yeah.
00:41Right then, Rose Tyler, you tell me, where do you want to go?
00:44Backwards or forwards in time?
00:46It's your choice. What's it going to be?
00:50Forwards.
00:55How far?
00:57100 years.
01:00There you go. Step outside those doors. It's the 22nd century.
01:12You're kidding.
01:13That's a bit boring now. Do you want to go further?
01:15Fine by me.
01:1610,000 years in the future. Step outside, it's the year 12,005, the new Roman Empire.
01:31You think you're so impressive?
01:33I am so impressive.
01:35You wish.
01:36Right then. You ask for it. I know exactly where to go.
01:39Hold on.
01:55Where are we?
02:00What's up there?
02:05What's up there?
02:05What's up there?
02:07Merci.
02:37You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying.
02:41Like you're gonna get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids.
02:46But you never take time to imagine the impossible.
02:50And maybe you survive.
02:54This is the year 5.5 slash apple slash 26.
02:58Five billion years in your future.
03:00And this is the day.
03:02Hold on.
03:07This is the day the sun expands.
03:13Welcome to the end of the world.
03:37Let's go.
03:39C'est parti !
04:09Chuttle's 5 and 6 now docking.
04:13Guests are reminded that Platform 1 forbids the use of weapons, teleportation and religion.
04:20Earth death is scheduled for 1539, followed by drinks in the Manchester suite.
04:27So when it says guests, does that mean people?
04:30Depends what you mean by people.
04:31I mean people, what do you mean?
04:33Aliens.
04:35What are they doing on board this spaceship?
04:37What's it all for?
04:39It's not really a spaceship, more like an observation deck.
04:41The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn.
04:44What for?
04:45Fun.
04:46Mind you, when I say the great and the good, what I mean is the rich.
04:54But hold on.
04:55They did this once on NewsRoundExtra.
04:57The sun expanding.
04:59That takes hundreds of years.
05:00Millions.
05:01But the planet's now the property of the national trust.
05:04They've been keeping it preserved.
05:05See down there?
05:06Gravity satellites holding back the sun.
05:09The planet looks the same as ever.
05:11I thought the continent shifted and things.
05:13They did.
05:14And the trust shifted and back.
05:15That's a classic Earth.
05:17But now the money's run out, nature takes over.
05:20How long's it got?
05:22About half an hour.
05:24And the planet gets roasted.
05:26Is that why we're here?
05:28I mean, is that what you do?
05:30Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?
05:32I'm not saving it.
05:33Time's up.
05:34But what about the people?
05:36It's empty.
05:37They've all gone.
05:38No one left.
05:43Just me, then.
05:44Who the hell are you?
05:45Oh, that's nice, thanks.
05:47But how did you get in?
05:49This is a maximum hospitality zone.
05:51The guests have disembarked.
05:53They're on their way any second now.
05:54No, that's me.
05:55I'm a guest.
05:56Look, I've got an invitation.
05:57Look, there, you see?
05:58It's fine.
05:59You see?
06:00The doctor plus one.
06:01I'm the doctor.
06:02This is Rose Tyler.
06:03She's my plus one.
06:04Is that all right?
06:05Obviously.
06:08Apologies, et cetera.
06:09If you're on board, we'd better start.
06:13Enjoy.
06:16The paper's slightly psychic.
06:17Shows them whatever I want them to see.
06:19It saves a lot of time.
06:21He's blue.
06:22Yeah.
06:24Okay.
06:25We have in attendance the doctor and Rose Tyler.
06:28Thank you.
06:29All staff to their positions.
06:33Hurry now.
06:34Thank you.
06:35Quick as we can.
06:36Come along.
06:37Come along.
06:38And now, might I introduce the next honored guest representing the forest of Cheem.
06:43We have trees.
06:45Namely, jabe, lute, and copper.
06:48There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace.
06:52If you could keep the room circulating.
06:53If you could keep the room circulating.
06:54Thank you.
06:55Next, from the solicitors Jolko and Jolko, we have the Mox of Balboon.
07:03And next, from Financial Family Seven, we have the adherence of the repeated meme.
07:09The inventors of hyposnip travel systems.
07:12The brothers Pop Piley and Cal Spock.
07:16Mr. and Mrs. Packham.
07:18The ambassadors from the city state of binding light.
07:22The gift of peace.
07:24I bring you a cutting of my grandfather.
07:26Thank you.
07:27Yes, gifts.
07:28I give you in return.
07:29Air from my lungs.
07:30How intimate.
07:31There's more where that came from.
07:32I bet there is.
07:33From the devastation.
07:34Sponsor of the main event.
07:35Please welcome the face of Bo.
07:37The Mox of Balboon.
07:38My Felicity.
07:39Yes, gifts.
07:40I give you in return.
07:41Yes, gifts.
07:42I give you in return.
07:43I give you in return.
07:44Air from my lungs.
07:45How intimate.
07:46There's more where that came from.
07:47I bet there is.
07:48Sponsor of the main event.
07:50Please welcome the face of Bo.
07:53The Mox of Balboon.
07:59My felicitations upon this historical happenstance.
08:02I bring you the gift of bodily saliva.
08:04What?
08:06Thank you very much.
08:09Ah, the appearance of the repeated meme.
08:12I bring you air from my lungs.
08:18A gift of peace in all good fame.
08:21And last but not least, our very special guest.
08:25Ladies and gentlemen and trees and multiforms.
08:30Consider the earth below.
08:32In memory of this dying world.
08:35We call forth.
08:37The last human.
08:40The lady.
08:41Cassandra O'Brien got Delta 17.
08:44Oh no, don't scare.
08:46I know, I know it's shocking, isn't it?
08:49I've had my chin completely taken away.
08:52And look at the difference.
08:54Look how thin I am.
08:57Thin and dainty.
08:59I don't look a day over two thousand.
09:02Moisturize me, moisturize me.
09:04Truly, I am the last human.
09:09My father was a Texan.
09:11My mother was from the Arctic desert.
09:14They were born on the earth.
09:17And they were the last to be buried in its soil.
09:22I have come to honor them.
09:25And say goodbye.
09:28Oh no tears.
09:30No tears.
09:31I'm sorry.
09:33I'm sorry.
09:36But behold.
09:38I bring gifts.
09:40From earth itself.
09:42The last remaining ostrich egg.
09:45Legend says it had a wingspan of 50 feet.
09:49And blew fire from its nostrils.
09:52Or was that my third husband?
09:54Oh no.
09:55Oh don't laugh.
09:56I'll get laughter lines.
09:58Oh no.
09:59And here, another rarity.
10:08According to the archives, this was called an iPod.
10:12It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers.
10:17Play on.
10:29Refreshments will now be served.
10:32Earth death in 30 minutes.
10:34Some times I feel I've got to.
10:38Run away.
10:40I've got to.
10:42Oh yes.
10:43I'm sorry, Mario.
10:44I should perhaps have seen this happen too.
10:46What?
10:47Oh no.
10:48Oh no.
10:49Oh no.
10:50Oh no.
10:51Oh no.
10:52Oh no.
10:53Oh no.
10:54Oh no.
10:55Oh no.
10:56Oh no.
10:57Oh no.
10:58Oh no.
10:59Oh no.
11:00Oh no.
11:01Oh no.
11:02Oh no.
11:03Oh no.
11:04Oh no.
11:05Well my.
11:06Oh no.
11:07Oh no.
11:08Oh my.
11:09Oh my.
11:10Oh my.
11:11Oh no.
11:12You're very kind.
11:13But I'm just the steward.
11:14Oh my.
11:15Oh my.
11:16Oh my.
11:17Oh my.
11:18Oh yes.
11:19Thank you.
11:21Of course.
11:22Identify species.
11:25Please identify species.
11:27Now stop it. Identify his race. Where's he from?
11:35It's impossible.
11:57Sorry, am I allowed to be in here?
12:11You have to give us permission to talk.
12:16Um...
12:18You have permission?
12:22Thank you. And, er... No, you're not in the way.
12:26Guests are allowed anywhere.
12:28Hey.
12:33What's your name?
12:35Ruffalo.
12:37Ruffalo?
12:38Yes, miss.
12:40I... I won't be long. Just gotta carry out some maintenance.
12:45There's a tiny little glitch in the face of Beau's suite.
12:48There must be something blocking the system.
12:50He's not getting any hot water.
12:53So you're a plumber?
12:56That's right, miss.
12:59You still have plumbers?
13:01I hope so. Not some out of a job.
13:04Where are you from?
13:06Crispallion.
13:09That's a planet, isn't it?
13:10No.
13:12Crispallion's part of the Jagat Bracade.
13:14Affiliated to the Scarlet Junction.
13:16Convex 56.
13:17And where are you from, miss?
13:19If you don't mind me asking.
13:21No, not at all.
13:22Um...
13:24I don't know.
13:26It's...
13:27a long way away.
13:28I just sort of hitched a lift with this man.
13:34Didn't even think about it.
13:37Don't even know who he is.
13:41He's a complete stranger.
13:45Anyway, um...
13:46Don't let me keep you.
13:47Good luck with it.
13:49Thank you, miss. And, uh...
13:52Thank you for the permission.
13:54Not many people are that considerate.
13:56Okay.
13:57See you later.
14:06Yeah, I'm in.
14:08Control, I'm at Junction 19.
14:10I think the problem's coming from in here.
14:12I'll go inside and have a look.
14:15Sir?
14:17Is there something in there?
14:19Ooh.
14:20Who are you, then?
14:21Hold on, I...
14:24If you're an upgrade, I just need to register you.
14:26That's all.
14:27I'll come back.
14:31There you are.
14:33Now, I...
14:34I just need to register your IDENT.
14:37Ooh.
14:38There's two of you.
14:40Got yourself a little mate.
14:43I think I'd better report this to Control.
14:46How many of you are there?
14:50What are you?
14:51Oh, no!
14:52No!
14:53No!
14:54No!
14:55No!
15:07What's that?
15:09Well, how should I know?
15:10Would the owner of the blue box in private gallery 15, please report to the steward's office immediately?
15:22Guests are reminded that the use of teleportation devices is strictly forbidden under this treaty 5.4 slash cup slash 16. Thank you.
15:31Earth death in 25 minutes.
15:34Earth death in 25 minutes.
15:36Earth death in 25 minutes.
15:39Oh, thanks.
15:47Hello.
15:48Hello.
15:49My name's Rose.
15:50That's a sort of plant.
15:54We might be related.
15:58Talking to a twig.
15:59Hi, now.
16:00Careful with that.
16:01Park it properly.
16:02No scratches.
16:11Hi, now.
16:12Careful with that.
16:13Park it properly.
16:14No scratches.
16:15Oh, are you in there?
16:36Hi, now.
16:37What do you think, then?
16:38Great.
16:39Yes.
16:40Fine.
16:41Once you get past the slightly psychic paper.
16:43They're just so alien.
16:47The aliens are so alien.
16:50You look at them, and they're alien.
16:54Good thing I didn't take you to the deep south.
16:55Where are you from?
16:56All over the place.
16:57They all speak English.
16:58No, you just hear English.
16:59It's a gift of the TARDIS.
17:00The telepathic field gets inside your brain.
17:01Translates.
17:02No.
17:03No.
17:04No.
17:05No, no.
17:06No.
17:07No.
17:08No.
17:09No.
17:10No.
17:11No.
17:12No.
17:13No.
17:14No.
17:15No.
17:16No.
17:17No.
17:18No.
17:19No.
17:20No.
17:21No.
17:22No.
17:23No.
17:24It's inside my brain.
17:25Well, in a good way.
17:26Your machine gets inside my head.
17:29It gets inside, and it changes my mind, and you didn't even ask.
17:34I didn't think about it like that.
17:35No.
17:36You were too busy thinking up cheap shots about the deep self.
17:40Who are you, then, Doctor?
17:42What are you called?
17:43What sort of alien are you?
17:45I'm just a doctor.
17:46From what planet?
17:47Well, it's not as if you know what it is.
17:49Where are you from?
17:50What does it matter?
17:51Tell me who you are.
17:52This is who I am.
17:53Right here, right now.
17:54All right.
17:55All that counts is here and now.
17:57And this is me.
17:58Yeah, and I'm here too, because you brought me here.
18:00So just tell me.
18:01Earth death in 20 minutes.
18:13Earth death in 20 minutes.
18:18All right.
18:19As my mate Shireen says, don't argue with the designated driver.
18:33Can't exactly call for a taxi.
18:37There's no signal.
18:38We're out of range.
18:39Just a bit.
18:40Tell you what.
18:41A little bit of jiggery-pokery.
18:42Is that a technical term, jiggery-pokery?
18:43Yeah.
18:44I came first in jiggery-pokery.
18:45What about you?
18:46No, I felt hella blue.
18:47Oh, well.
18:48There you go.
18:49Hello?
18:50Mum?
18:51Oh, what is it?
18:52What's wrong?
18:53What are you doing?
18:54I'm doing a little bit of jiggery-pokery.
18:55A little bit of jiggery-pokery.
18:56Is that a technical term, jiggery-pokery?
18:57Yeah.
18:58I came first in jiggery-pokery.
18:59What about you?
19:00No, I felt hella blue.
19:01Oh, well.