- il y a 7 mois
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AmusantTranscription
00:00Damien, my good Damien, what I'm offering you is the latest Xbox Series X pack with a game, why not, Assassin's Xbox.
00:19You left 5 years ago, he didn't want to buy you, face it.
00:22Same for you, PS5.
00:24Oh no, but I'm not the PS5.
00:26Well, what are you then?
00:26I am the PS5 Pro.
00:28Pro.
00:28Pro.
00:30Problematic.
00:32Okay, guys, calm down, he's coming to buy the new thing.
00:35Oh yeah, I'm the new one.
00:37Oh no, it's the Switch 2.
00:38Yeah, finish your sentence.
00:39Whose Switch?
00:41Well, I'm Switch number 2.
00:43Well why would he want to buy two Switches?
00:44No, no, but I'm the new Switch, the Switch 2.
00:47Oh.
00:48Wow, I didn't even see you changed there.
00:50But what exactly do you do?
00:51Oh well I...
00:52Wow, I have lots and lots of new stuff, there's the...
00:55The mouse there, the thing...
00:56So, I'll stop you right there.
00:58You're not alone in being a handheld console anymore.
01:00Oh really, who else is there?
01:01Well, for me, the portability of the Switch.
01:04With the power of the PS5 Pro, I present to you Damien's next acquisition,
01:09the PS Portal.
01:11Cuckoo.
01:12Oh yeah, that's awesome.
01:15But how do you manage to be so powerful, like?
01:17Actually, technically, the game runs on the PS5 Pro or in the cloud, so you combine
01:21like that power and portability.
01:23You can play anywhere.
01:25Everywhere.
01:26Everywhere.
01:27Everywhere.
01:28Anywhere there is Wi-Fi.
01:30Okay, guys, get over it.
01:31Damien, he's broke, look at him there.
01:33He'll get a cheap console, like the Switch 2, and that's it.
01:35So, in fact, life is not just a question of price, it is also an experience.
01:40Yeah, that's it, the memories, the interactions, that's not the price.
01:43Wait a minute, guys, how much do you cost exactly?
01:46What do you think the price of a Switch 2 would be?
01:48300 bullets?
01:49A little more.
01:50350?
01:51Almost.
01:52470.
01:54I cost 80 euros.
01:56What? Is that all?
01:56Yeah, yeah, well 80 euros for the CD player and then 800 euros for the PS5 Pro, whatever.
02:00Wait, you cost almost 900 bucks?
02:03900 bucks? But wait, you should call yourself the prohibitive PS5, actually!
02:06Pfff, yeah, he's really funny, it's okay.
02:07In the meantime, maybe this might interest you, Damien. I have a new price for the regular PS5, if you want it.
02:16Dude, you just went up 50 bucks there.
02:17Hush, maybe the consumer hadn't noticed.
02:20Hey, Xbox, what are you doing there?
02:23No, but PS5, sometimes you have good ideas.
02:25There, I admit, increasing by 50 bucks, I would never have dared, but hey, since you started, I followed, we're together.
02:29Wait, what's Damien doing over there?
02:31Oh, the bastard, he's releasing a new Mario Kart.
02:35Who says new console, says new Mario Kart, no, I don't know, it's logical.
02:38No, but that's not possible, we're working our asses off, frankly, to release super beautiful, innovative, amazing games,
02:44I adapt them into series, from Stovus, season I don't know how many, he's releasing a new Mario Kart.
02:49Well yes, you sell consoles, obviously, it's borderline cheating.
02:51It's the Nintendo spirit, that's all.
02:5390 bullets?
02:55Oh yeah, Switch 2, 90 bucks a game, you wired it, actually.
02:59Prices have always been what they are, eh?
03:02No, no, remember what you said not so long ago.
03:03What? 80 bucks? Are games 80 bucks now?
03:07That was a long time ago, that's an ina.fr archive, what is that?
03:10Well, listen, a portable console, eh, powerful, with good games, it costs a certain price, that's how it is, that's it.
03:15Um, um, no, no, no.
03:17Who, who spoke?
03:19Nice to meet you, Steam Deck, how are you?
03:21I'm a portable console that lets you play all your PC games, I'm cheaper than the Switch 2,
03:26and on top of that, Damien will be able to play his entire Steam games catalog, and you know he has quite a few, right?
03:30So, what does that say about that?
03:32Bam!
03:32How did you put yourself back in your place?
03:34Ouch, ouch, ouch, I wouldn't have liked that.
03:35But oh, oh, oh, yeah, you, there, the...
03:37With your dock, there, at 90€, there, to play on the TV, are you still cheaper than me with that?
03:42So, no, actually, however, I can launch the game that everyone is waiting for, and that, I think, is your...
03:47It's yours, shut your mouth!
03:48Or what?
03:49What is Damien doing here?
03:50Oh well, I told you, he's broke, there he is, looking at his bank account, look at him.
03:55Damien, feeling peckish? What should I order? Sushi? Delivery is free, so let's take advantage, right?
03:59Oh my, Damien, there's definitely public Wi-Fi, you're connected, still secure, your data active, your VPN!
04:04Damien, you're going to do 30 seconds of plank, 30 seconds of rest, 30 seconds of crunch, let's go!
04:08Hey, but that's the subscription clash!
04:10Don't panic, guys!
04:11With its premium card, NordVPN, Uber One, Freelitix subscriptions and many others are included!
04:17Is there a Nintendo Online subscription too?
04:18Yeah, don't overdo it either, I'm asking, it's okay!
04:20Revolut is the most downloaded banking app in France!
04:23Create your account for free in less than 5 minutes by clicking on the link in the description, you will receive €20 free and a chance to win €5,000 via a competition!
04:31Uh, actually, it's not the subscription clash, it's product placement.
04:33Yes, everyone understood.
04:34Not to mention, no foreign payment fees, ultra-competitive exchange rates, integrated Issime purchasing, creation of as many virtual bank cards as you want!
04:42And if you want a free card, there's the standard card!
04:45In the meantime, the subscription clash might be funny, right?
04:47No !
04:48On the other hand, go and collect your 20€, click on the link!
04:51I can help you ?
04:52Uh, yeah, no, I don't know, I...
04:55Actually, I sold my PC, and then uh...
04:58Do you hear what they're saying there?
05:00Yeah, I can read lips.
05:01Yes, hello, sir, I would like to buy a PS5 Pro.
05:04Yes, very good choice, excellent choice, sir.
05:05But no !
05:06No, I'm just kidding, I don't know what they're talking about.
05:08Let me guess.
05:09All you care about is the game.
05:12Well, it's true that I'm really looking forward to the game.
05:15I can't wait to play it.
05:16What is this game?
05:17Sorry, that doesn't concern you at all, Switch, huh.
05:19The players are only waiting for one thing.
05:20May 26, 2026 to launch the game on PS5.
05:24Okay, the game is going to look amazing on Xbox, stop it.
05:26Sorry, but the game will look best on PC!
05:29Well yeah, I'm doing 4K Ray Tracing 120 FPS RTX ON.
05:32What more can I tell you?
05:33Oh yes.
05:34So.
05:35PC.
05:36Ah, PC, well yes, PC who says true gamer says PC, guys!
05:39And wait, will you get the game when it comes out, PC?
05:41Well, maybe the next day or a year later, I don't know.
05:44But it's the same, we can wait.
05:45No, no, no, Damien has been waiting for the game to come out for over 10 years.
05:48He's not going to wait another second, is he?
05:50If only I knew what you were talking about.
05:52Psst, but Damien! Psst, psst.
05:54Do you hear?
05:55Damien, Damien, psst.
05:57I have everything you want, Damien.
05:59Who is this guy over there?
06:00Go ahead, don't look any further, come on, come on, come on.
06:02Yeah, there's no China left out.
06:03Damn, that's emulation consoles.
06:05It comes from China, it's for playing old consoles.
06:08Oh yeah, like the Game Boy.
06:09Oh yeah, no, well, we don't have to worry.
06:10Besides, he doesn't inspire confidence, I'm sorry.
06:12What do you want, do you want PS2?
06:13Do you want some Switch?
06:14Hey, I filter all the games for you, eh, under the table.
06:17Wait, what, you can run Switch games?
06:19Hey, we have to send this guy to prison, he's crazy!
06:21Damien, Damien.
06:22I have the gaming to finally get the game running.
06:24Me, you know if we can go to prison,
06:26if we illegally download Mario Sunshine?
06:28I don't know, I...
06:30Oh no, sorry, that one isn't before.
06:32Oh okay, before.
06:33This is mine, I bought it online.
06:35I'll put it away, by the way.
06:36Okay, no, but it's...
06:37Carefree.
06:38Hey, are you chasing me?
06:39Am I scaring you?
06:40I don't contract PlayStation!
06:43Blast !
06:45SO ?
06:46Have you found what you're looking for?
06:47Not really, no.
06:48Well, what do you mean, not really?
06:49Ah, but it's true that Damien is settled down!
06:52A couple console, they want a couple console!
06:54It's me, guys, let it go!
06:55It's true that I can't compete there.
06:57No, but nothing that interests me.
06:58Well, have you always bought a console from each generation?
07:00Well, maybe it just stops now, that's all.
07:02No, no, no, guys.
07:03You're not there, look better.
07:09Oh, congratulations!
07:10Soon a new gamer, a new gamer, there,
07:12who will play the Nintendo Switch!
07:14Don't you realize how serious the situation is?
07:16Who says baby?
07:18Say less time,
07:19Say less money for young people, we're screwed!
07:21Wait, what are you talking about?
07:22You talk to me about gaming all day, I...
07:24What are you doing with your dream of creating your own game?
07:26Well, anyway, we're not here for that.
07:27Yes.
07:28I'll call you back.
07:29Follow me.
07:31We're screwed, guys.
07:32Damien, fallen in combat.
07:34The perfect conditions to discover the game in its own right...
07:38Oh yeah, no, but...
07:39Actually, that's the Wi-Fi network that isn't...
07:42So, the baby bottle bats...
07:48Damien, don't think about it! I'm THE reference for bottle-feeding bats!
07:52But whatever, I do the same thing for less!
07:54No, no, don't listen to him, he's not a pro!
07:57Do you really want to buy an unreliable product for your baby?
07:59Uh, aren't you being a bit over the top?
08:01We're just a resistor with a timer!
08:03That's exactly what I would have said if I were a dangerous product!
08:05You know what, I'll let you choose, I'll go look at the books!
08:08It works, yeah!
08:14Excuse me, can you help me?
08:16Yes! Oh fuck! Oh fuck, she's coming back, she's coming back!
08:18What do you recommend for a gamer?
08:20who is celebrating his birthday soon,
08:22who wants to stop everything to be a good father,
08:24while...
08:25his girlfriend really doesn't want him to change?
08:27Me, me, with all the exclusives, there, I am the promising PS5, go for it!
08:30No, no, no, your kid is going to want to play the Switch 2, that's for sure!
08:33No, no, I have no argument!
08:36What type of player is he?
08:37Keen.
08:38He even wants to develop his own game.
08:39Hmm...
08:40Guys, it's me, right? Steam Deck, I don't know?
08:42Me, me, me, me! As soon as the Wi-Fi is better!
08:43No, no, no, the Switch 2!
08:44PS5 Pro!
08:45Xbox Series X!
08:46If he plays and he wants to develop as well,
08:48We have a promotion right now on Gaming PCs!
08:51No, no, no, wait, wait!
08:52Here, go here, go here, go here!
08:54Yes!
08:55That's a good choice!
08:56It was almost there, guys!
08:57Wait, Damien almost let us down,
08:59and Chloe saved it for us, that's not bad!
09:01It's only Mario postponed!
09:03Great choice, guys!
09:04Boo!
09:05Who does he think he is?
09:07Braggart, yeah! Braggart!
09:08You ?
09:09Yes, I have parental controls!
09:17I did this in just two months!
09:19We should have taken the Switch!
09:23Yeah !
09:24Yeah, you're right!
09:26Yeah, you're right!