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00:00Stan, did you use my toothbrush?
00:02It was a few inches away from where I always leave it.
00:04Your toothbrush?
00:06No.
00:08I haven't used it yet.
00:09Yet?
00:10Okay, I was going to use it because I dropped mine in the trash bin.
00:13Well, at least you caught yourself from doing it.
00:15I didn't catch it.
00:16What?
00:17It fell in the toilet.
00:18I already told you, Carl.
00:19You have to try flirting with her.
00:21That's just not my thing.
00:23Okay, think of a good flirting line for me.
00:26I'll text her right now.
00:27You can try saying,
00:28You remind me of a microwave.
00:31Mysterious, boxy, and slightly radioactive.
00:35Wait, what?
00:36That makes no sense.
00:37That's how flirting is, Carl.
00:39They don't make sense.
00:40I think I asked the wrong person.
00:42No.
00:43Think about it, Carl.
00:44You're smart.
00:45What does it even mean?
00:46By comparing someone to a microwave,
00:48you're saying you're warm, mysterious, and occasionally dangerous.
00:53And that's sexy.
00:54It's a love poem.
00:55Jane didn't text back after I did what you told me to do last time.
00:59What should I do now?
01:00She's tougher to deal with than I thought she was.
01:02I guess there is only one option left for her to start having interest in you.
01:06I'm all ears.
01:07You have to create doubt in her mind.
01:09If you make people think they love you,
01:10then they will start to question and actually start loving you.
01:13How would I even be able to do that?
01:15Hit her in the head so she loses her memory and lied to her about it or something?
01:19Very close.
01:20Tell her that you two were married in your past life.
01:22You sure that will work?
01:24Even better.
01:24Tell her that you were not emotionally available and then just walk away.
01:28I saw that people are debating on whether one person could take down a hundred gorillas.
01:32Why would that even be a debate?
01:34There's no chance.
01:35Yeah, I thought so.
01:37You would need at least tens of thousands of them for gorillas to even stand a chance.
01:40What?
01:42Well, yeah.
01:43If you use modern weapons,
01:45then even millions of gorillas would even stand a chance.
01:47But I think the point of the debate is to not use any weapons.
01:51Then maybe that person could turn some of those gorillas into pets
01:53and make them fight each other.
01:55Oh, yeah?
01:56Maybe keep them in some kind of magic balls
01:58and summon them to fight each other for fun all the time.
02:01I think I would need to call the animal protection organization to come after you again.
02:05You actually read, Stan?
02:06I don't.
02:07But that guy just said he was in the same book club as you.
02:10I am in the book club.
02:11So you do read?
02:12No.
02:13I joined in just for the snacks.
02:14But he said you're the most avid reader in their club.
02:17They talk about books for way too long.
02:19So I give opinions to get it over with.
02:21How are you able to give opinions when you don't even read?
02:24I just say whatever.
02:25They can somehow always interpret it as something amazing.
02:28I'm always amazed.
02:29What happened to all of your furniture?
02:30My friend sold them for me.
02:32Why did you do that?
02:33You could have told me that you're short on money.
02:35It's not about money.
02:36I'm trying to be a minimalist like Tom.
02:38Tom?
02:38Yeah.
02:39I saw that he had no furniture in his house.
02:41And he told me about all the benefits of being a minimalist.
02:43How much did you sell them for?
02:45They added up to $200.
02:47$200?
02:48Was it also Tom that sold them for you?
02:50How did you know?
02:51Because his house is now fully furnished.
02:53I heard that whatever you visualize will eventually come true.
02:57I've heard of that trick in psychology back in the day.
02:59But I doubt if it actually works.
03:01It did for me?
03:02Really?
03:03After my co-worker told me this trick, I whisper,
03:05I am the boss to the monitor every day.
03:07I don't see you becoming a boss.
03:09I just became one yesterday.
03:10After my actual boss walked by and heard me,
03:13he said that I could be my own boss.
03:14You simply got fired, Stan.
03:17Stan, what were you doing?
03:18Staying up so late all the time lately.
03:20What are you talking about?
03:22I've been sleeping at regular hours.
03:24I've been receiving your texts at like 5 a.m.
03:26That's when I wake up.
03:28I was told to be more productive.
03:30And I heard that high performers wake up at 5 a.m.
03:32Wow, really?
03:33How's it doing for you?
03:34Not feeling the change yet.
03:36But I was late to work a lot.
03:37What were you busy with?
03:39Sleeping.
03:39I thought you said you wake up at 5.
03:41Yeah?
03:42To repeat to myself that I'm a high performer for 10 times,
03:45then go back to sleep.
03:46Why did you refuse to apologize?
03:48I was told to reframe negative thoughts.
03:50Negative thoughts?
03:52If it wasn't me apologizing for you,
03:54you would have gotten some negative life.
03:56What does that mean?
03:57Never mind.
03:57You just gotta apologize like a normal person next time.
04:01Instead of saying something weird like,
04:03I just learned gravity again.
04:05He was about to teach you that the force of his punch on your face
04:07was equal to the mass of his fist times acceleration.
04:10But I heard that instead of saying something negative like I failed,
04:14I need to say something positive like I learned.
04:16I need to say something positive like I failed.