EastEnders 2nd June 2025
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TVTranscript
00:00Oh, he's gorgeous.
00:15And as a fellow standard with a disability, let me tell you, he is going to break some hearts.
00:20Oh, we know. He's going to have a fake ID before he gets his blue badge. Isn't that right, Peter?
00:24Louie, we're going to be late. Come on, mate.
00:28Um, I'm going to take Jimmy for a walk later. Would you fancy it?
00:33No, I'm going to go for a run and then get up with some work.
00:37Dad's in Australia with Sharon and Michelle, so I'm pretty snowed under.
00:47I mean, he's hardly missed a personality at the best of times, but what was that about?
00:52He's just been struggling a bit. He hasn't been able to bond with Jimmy yet.
00:57What, and you're left to do it all? You're struggling too, OK?
01:01And so will Jimmy if Peter doesn't pull his finger out.
01:05If you're all in this together, the time for Peter to step up is now.
01:08All right, all right.
01:22You're far enough, or what?
01:24Yeah.
01:27No, I don't know.
01:32I'll be in for my shift.
01:33Now, I need to get these nails done.
01:46People are going to think I'm a bricklayer, not a bar owner.
01:52Oh, is that your panesau princess?
01:54Is she all right?
01:57Just say no.
01:58She passes the girlfriend test.
02:00I mean, she's a gobby cow, but she's got a good heart.
02:02And it takes one to know one.
02:04Well done, bar.
02:06Just one hell of a test.
02:09Right, I'd better get to work, eh?
02:11Back to normal.
02:14See you later.
02:18Come on, bar.
02:19You need a new pair of trainers.
02:21I'll get you, Keith.
02:21Come on, bar.
02:21Come on, bar.
02:28Okay, so you know I've been looking all over for work, right?
02:33And it's been hard.
02:34Yeah, well, I told you not to worry.
02:35Something to turn up.
02:36Yeah, well, something sort of as.
02:39Ta-da!
02:42It's the limo.
02:44What?
02:44This is yours?
02:46What the hell are you doing with a limo?
02:47Well, you remember me telling you about my mate Cheeky,
02:50just out of the nick.
02:51No, Harvey, I don't.
02:52And I think I would remember the name of that particular ex-con.
02:54Well, anyway, he set up this car rental firm,
02:57like hummers, limos, wedding cars, the lot.
02:59He made a lot of money.
03:01But he's 70-odd now, so he wants to step back,
03:03and he's selling off his fleet.
03:05So you bought one?
03:07Well, no, not yet.
03:08It's just a test drive.
03:10If I can get some cash together,
03:12I'm going to be a private chauffeur.
03:14Yeah, you know, events and that.
03:16He's got contacts.
03:17What do you think?
03:20And there's me thinking cheaters never prospered.
03:22Crossford, but I had a stretch limo
03:24to take your mistress out of you, eh?
03:26That's him overcompensating for his mini-metro
03:28and his tighty-weighties.
03:30Yeah, it's mine, actually.
03:32Well, it will be.
03:33I'm going out of business for myself.
03:35Private hire chauffeur.
03:37Chauffeur?
03:38You struggle taking punters over the river in a hatchback.
03:41You'll write that off parking it up.
03:43Let's go.
03:44What's the matter, Cat?
03:45You scared of a bit of competition?
03:47Competition?
03:48A clapped-out old limo and a two-bop driver?
03:51As if you can afford it.
03:52You're already stuck with one old banger.
03:54Hey, oi!
03:54I've just got a lot on her plate.
03:56Yeah.
03:58She's got a partner.
04:00Are you looking for a slappin' hole?
04:02No, no.
04:03I mean, can't afford it.
04:06But, uh, maybe I know a woman who can.
04:11Oh.
04:12You want me to lay these out here?
04:16You've got to be joking, aren't you?
04:18Gina, we are a family, and the Albert is a family business, so no, I am not joking.
04:25What's all this?
04:27You and your leaflets are not welcome here, Mum.
04:29You know that.
04:29I'm sorry to hear about the baby, but, uh, these ain't going at you.
04:44Yeah, I've been trying to see how he is, but Peter keeps blanking me.
04:49Thought I'd throw myself into this.
04:52Worked a charm, eh?
04:54Used to be me against the world.
04:57Used to revel in it.
04:58And my kids were against me, too.
05:03Well, you don't help yourself.
05:05You never have.
05:09That little baby could do with an expert in taking on the world, I reckon.
05:15So stop for inside for yourself,
05:17and get yourself back into a position where you can really help from the inside, eh?
05:28You know what?
05:30You are lucky that he doesn't look like any of his granddads.
05:35Could you imagine?
05:36I mean, you could have pushed out a ginger in chippy ovals.
05:41You dodged a bullet there, babe.
05:43That's a good shout-out on the name as well.
05:44Another E for the quiz.
05:46E?
05:47Yeah, me, Freddie, obviously.
05:50Teddy, Ernie, Tommy, Ricky, Ravi, Harvey, Howie, Harry.
05:58Shreem Pee, and that little Jimmy, you know.
06:01Strong line-up, innit?
06:03Or the Wallies.
06:06Isn't that too late to change the name?
06:08Yeah, no, I've got to go.
06:09Yeah.
06:09Oh, listen, don't forget to put the keyboard on the Christmas list, yeah?
06:13You look, Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles.
06:15He didn't stop them, did he?
06:17And listen, if ever he needs a muse,
06:20Auntie Kim is straight across the road, okay?
06:25Hey, I'm...
06:26You're sorry, girl.
06:27Come out, I can see.
06:28You all right?
06:29Yeah.
06:30I was trying to keep my pace up.
06:31Yeah.
06:32Why didn't you swap your run for a walk?
06:35Because he's getting a little bit grumpy.
06:38I think he's getting sick of my voice.
06:40Maybe Daddy could help?
06:42He's probably just hungry, isn't he, Lauren?
06:46I'll see you later.
06:47I can put some money in your pot.
06:52You'll need more, I know, but I'm not exactly cash-rich at the moment.
06:56I don't know if you've heard, but I lost the Albert recently.
06:58Oh, I'm sorry.
07:00You've got bigger things to worry about.
07:01It's a silly idea, anyway.
07:02No, no, it's a great idea.
07:04And there's nothing to stop you asking someone else to chip in, is there?
07:08Don't let anyone stop you following your heart.
07:11Did it stop us?
07:11Oh, what?
07:19You're right.
07:22I ain't gonna let her stop me, either.
07:30Mate, the bloke on table six ordered a chicken burger, and this ain't a chicken burger.
07:34The tourgazer?
07:34Yeah.
07:36No, he ordered a cheeseburger.
07:37No, he ordered a chicken burger.
07:39You won't tell him, mate, I will.
07:42Oh, no, no, no.
07:46Zack.
07:48Look.
07:50Nothing's seen bad at the minute, yeah?
07:53But Barney's a good kid.
07:55A clever kid.
07:56Maybe one day he'll come round, but he ain't gonna annoy you when you're in this state, is he?
08:01So why don't you go home and get your head straight, yeah?
08:04Excuse me?
08:06Yeah, just give me a moment.
08:09Remember, you don't know if it's in his home.
08:13Yeah?
08:17Can you get the bill?
08:18Yeah.
08:18Yeah.
08:22So we all pointed by it, we share the jobs, and with Cheeky's contacts, we will make a fortune.
08:28Eh?
08:28And besides, we all know the apps are killing this game, right?
08:31So why not jump before you're pushed, eh?
08:34What do you think?
08:35Oh, you must really love hospital food.
08:39What are you doing hassling my drivers?
08:41Well, this is me offering your staff an opportunity, Kat.
08:45It's a free market, ain't it?
08:46Not on my firm, it ain't.
08:49Listen, if you two go into business with him, you're out of a job, right?
08:52And that goes for the rest of you.
08:53Yeah.
08:54So, please, can you just go back to work, or you'll have no work to go back to?
08:58My two biggest earners.
09:03You are lower than a snake's belly, do you know that?
09:05Calm down.
09:07He dumps Jean, and now he wants to poach my drivers.
09:10Listen, you go anywhere near my drivers again, and it'll be more than your limo that gets keyed.
09:15Do you hear me?
09:17Unbelievable.
09:18Come on.
09:22Oh, look, don't worry.
09:24Something will turn up, all right?
09:28Oh, something just does.
09:31I've got to go.
09:32All right.
09:37What's this?
09:38This is about helping little Jimmy, and you two.
09:42Cathy's on her way over, she's going to be here in a minute, and we all are going to sit down and talk about peace for the sake of little Jimmy.
09:49We don't need help.
09:51We don't need a family intervention.
09:53We've just got to get on with it, okay?
09:55Actually, your mum's right.
09:58I think we could do with all the help we could get.
10:04I know I do.
10:05And the thing is, like, he's good looking, but I wouldn't say he's, like, laying enough to lose teeth over, do you know what I mean?
10:19Look, Barney, I know there's, like, a VAR playing in your mind right now of when I kissed you on the cheek, but don't let that make you even more weird and quiet than usual, okay?
10:30Because right now you're at your, like, weird and quiet, like, maximum, like, you're literally tiptoeing over what's acceptable for being weird and quiet.
10:37And you're doing it in your new white trainers that your OCD dad is probably going to scrub clean with a toothbrush when you get home.
10:44Nothing?
10:48Barney, what's going on?
10:49Please tell me.
10:50Barney, mate.
10:52Can I have a word, please, mate?
10:53I know we've all been each other's throats, but now we have to put that aside.
11:04I want to help, and I think Cappy does too.
11:08So we all need to pull together.
11:11Oh, well, pains me to say it, but she's right.
11:15And if you two are at odds, that won't help Eva, will it?
11:18This is all very sweet, but are we done?
11:20No, we're not, Peter.
11:23They're right.
11:25You just want to shrug it off and make jokes, pretending like nothing and no one can help us, but I...
11:33I can't do that because I need help, Peter.
11:37I need support.
11:38I'm not getting any from you.
11:39Are you joking?
11:41I'm the one putting the food on the table.
11:44I'm the one that's doing the drop-offs and the pick-ups for Louis.
11:47I'm talking about Jimmy.
11:49No.
11:52It's like you are pretending that he's not even here.
11:59Or that none of this is actually happening, but it is.
12:03It is.
12:06I mean, you don't even pick him up.
12:11I mean, you barely look at him.
12:12You definitely don't look at me.
12:17If you did, you'd be able to see.
12:19You would see how I feel.
12:21And I feel like I'm on my own.
12:24Well, Lauren, do you want to know the truth?
12:28Do you want to know why I can't look at him?
12:29I can't look at him because it makes me angry.
12:34And I can't look at you because it's your fault.
12:37Peter, that is out of order.
12:41Why?
12:42Why?
12:42Because the doctor said that her being high as a kite is unlikely to be the cause?
12:46Well, do any of you think it helped?
12:48Eh?
12:48Hey, she was going to be protecting our son.
12:52And I'm the bad guy for not picking him up.
12:54What?
12:55What do you want to do?
12:56Walk around and pretend like everything's normal?
13:00My son is blind.
13:02He's blind.
13:03And I've got to pretend that his mum had nothing to do with the fact that he'll never see my face.
13:08This is all her fault.
13:10We all know it.
13:11What are we doing?
13:12She knows it.
13:15Look at her.
13:16Lauren, go on.
13:17Tell me I'm wrong.
13:18You need to go now.
13:20Of course I do.
13:20Of course I do, yeah.
13:21Go on, the Lauren show can continue, can't it?
13:23As usual.
13:24What is it?
13:25Painkillers, drinking, fires, sleeping around.
13:29No-one else, no-one else dare have an issue when the violins come out, do they?
13:33No-one else can suffer, Lauren, because there'll be no-one here to pick up the pieces for her, as always.
13:39Well, there you go.
13:41Get ready to pick up my pieces.
13:42Cheeky me, I will get the paintwork sorted, I promise, don't worry.
13:51Well, just give me another date, yeah?
13:54Well, I will find someone to go halves in with me.
13:57Yes.
13:59Yeah, yeah, no, I understand.
14:02Okay, cheers.
14:05Do you know what?
14:05My mum used to stay to me if I was upset.
14:09Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about.
14:11So, me, I'm making three separate favourite dinners in the hope of winning my boys back.
14:19It's going to be a long night.
14:22Hey, can I interest you in going halves on a limo?
14:25No, looking for a partner.
14:27What, that scratched-up Rusty that's taken up three spaces in the square?
14:32No thanks.
14:32Yeah, well, don't worry, Kat's probably only a toe by now.
14:35Yeah, that's my own fault, please.
14:38Things we do for love, eh?
14:40Do you know what else my mum used to say to me?
14:44Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
14:48Hopefully, I've just moved downstairs because of the former.
14:52Look, you want Kat off your back and you need a partner, right?
14:55Yeah.
14:56Well, sometimes you've just got to wave a white flag.
14:59Even if it is just to get close enough so you can stick the pointy end in.
15:10Well, all right, Lauren.
15:12How are you doing?
15:14Can I just get a vodka lemonade, please?
15:16Who for?
15:21For me.
15:23I could really do without the judgement and all.
15:25Just...
15:25Please.
15:29I can't imagine how you're feeling.
15:33But if you're looking to relapse, you've picked the wrong landlady and you know that.
15:37Just, just come upstairs, all right?
15:41I'll stick the kettle on and we can talk about it, all right?
15:45Guess the Lauren show's back on the road, then.
15:46You ready to talk, yeah?
16:06There's nothing to talk about, Mum.
16:10Linda's calling me.
16:12That means Lauren's over at the Vic there, proving me right, ain't she?
16:15Mum, do us both a favour.
16:16Can I please it and just go?
16:19You went too far, Peter.
16:21Coming from the Queen of going too far?
16:24Come with it, Mum.
16:25She...
16:25She knew how...
16:26She knew how she was making me feel.
16:29I know how you feel.
16:31You feel angry, but mostly...
16:34You feel scared.
16:41When, um...
16:42You and Lucy were born...
16:45I used to take you both to mother and baby classes.
16:48I was a bit rusty.
16:51And I always remembered there was this bloke there.
16:56Then, well, it was...
16:58It was like seeing a polar bear in the Vic.
17:05Turns out his wife had died during labour.
17:08And, um...
17:11He was learning the ropes.
17:14He could see I was...
17:15Struggling.
17:18You know, I was...
17:19Splitting my time between you two.
17:22Bonding.
17:26And then he told me he was struggling too.
17:29With his little boy.
17:30And then one day, when his baby was crying, he just...
17:35He just started singing to him out of sheer panic.
17:39And it was a song that his mum used to sing to him.
17:43And you know what?
17:46That's the same song that I used to sing to you and Lucy.
17:52Every night.
17:54Do you remember?
17:55I don't know how he's doing now or how his little boy is.
18:07But you know what?
18:08I know somehow that they're fine.
18:13Like, I know that you and Jimmy are going to be okay.
18:20I love you, Peter.
18:21And I am here for when you need me, okay?
18:47At least it's not just my cause you're airing.
18:51Look, Bond, you know I don't find the whole opening up thing that easy.
18:58And I guess you don't either.
19:00But I feel like we had a bit of a breakthrough last week, no?
19:04It actually felt really good to open up and talk about what's been going on.
19:10Look, if you don't want to talk to me, then maybe you should talk to your mum.
19:13I mean, she was surprisingly good with me the other day.
19:15Maybe she could help you.
19:16Oh, not with this, she can't.
19:18Then what is it then, Bond?
19:19What, has it got something to do with Zach?
19:21Because the way you stormed off earlier, that was weird, even for you.
19:27It's your mum.
19:30No.
19:31Your mum and Zach can't see each other, are they?
19:33I thought your mum and dad were, like, getting back on track...
19:35Oh, just drop it, yeah?
19:37Look, you make mistakes and they blow up in your face.
19:39That's how you get your problems.
19:41My problems come from stuff that I've got absolutely no control over.
19:44So will you just do me a favour and leave me alone, all right?
19:47Cool.
19:49No, I find it.
19:57No, Lauren.
19:59Linda's already sent a message, Ryan.
20:00I'm sorry, babe.
20:00I don't want you sorry.
20:02I just want a drink.
20:03I'm not going anywhere until you give me one.
20:05Yeah, it ain't happening.
20:08Gina, that whole whiskey in a pint, please.
20:10Nicholas, tab.
20:11All right, I'll hold you all just.
20:12I've got a problem to deal with.
20:13I'll do with you in a minute, yeah?
20:15Watch where you're going, will you?
20:16It's all right.
20:17What?
20:18Sorry, have you got a problem, have you?
20:19What are you doing?
20:21I came here for a drink, not to get dirty looks from bearish slappers.
20:25Look, if I can't get a drink in here, then I'm just going to go to an off-licence,
20:28isn't I?
20:29Oh, and you can tell Linda that and all.
20:31Look.
20:38Can you crunch any louder?
20:40I don't think they can hear you next door.
20:42Oh, how are you?
20:44I've had three calls today.
20:47Maybe he's right.
20:48Maybe this prat in the limo is our competition.
20:51Hey, it's all about pratting a limo.
20:55Kat, can we talk?
20:57About what?
20:58What, do you want to ride to the hospital?
21:00Because you're in the right place for it.
21:01No, I'm sorry.
21:02All right.
21:02Yeah, why?
21:04For breaking Jean's heart?
21:05Or trying to steal on my staff?
21:07For everything.
21:12Look, I'm no businessman, but I know a good opportunity when I see one.
21:15My mate Cheeky's selling off that limo.
21:18The one you keyed.
21:20Why do you think I did it?
21:22Look, you and me both know the apps are killing this game, right?
21:27So I thought maybe you might be interested in buying in with me.
21:32You know, add another string to your bow, offer another service.
21:34And, well, you know, just let bygones be bygones.
21:39Yeah, it could be a great opportunity for both of us.
21:41Look, for what it's worth, I think the world of Jean, of all your family, I just, you know, I fell in love with Kath.
21:55And you two know all about how tricky your life can be, right?
22:01And what do you think?
22:01I think me and you teaming up is a bit of a stretch, yeah?
22:08But it's a good idea.
22:10And you'll have no more trouble from me anymore.
22:13And good luck to you.
22:14Thanks, Kat.
22:18I really appreciate that.
22:23Hey, yeah, I'm proud of you, gorgeous.
22:26You know, you know, like...
22:27Shut up, you big girl's blouse.
22:29I bet Nanky get this cheeky's number.
22:31Yeah?
22:32It's right.
22:33It is a great opportunity.
22:34For us.
22:36So what's this, then?
22:37Citizen's arrest?
22:38Lauren, just sit down, please, yeah?
22:40No.
22:41I'm not going to sit down until I've got a drink in my hand, so let's open a bottle, shall we?
22:45It's definitely not.
22:46Stop.
22:46Come here.
22:47Can you sit down and shut up, Lauren?
22:48No.
22:49What are you doing?
22:50Come on, Lauren.
22:51You ain't the only one who's hurting, all right?
22:53You ain't the only one with problems.
22:55Listen, I'm going to sit here.
22:57You're going to sit there, you're going to take a long look at me and realise how lucky you are.
23:01Please.
23:12You're all right, Lauren?
23:14You're okay.
23:16Come on.
23:26So sorry.
23:28Peter's right, too.
23:30I could have just gone to an offy and just sat on a park bench, couldn't I?
23:33But no, I had to walk into the Vic.
23:35I had to go into the bar, didn't I?
23:37I had to just cause a little bit of a fuss.
23:39I mean, it is always the Lauren show.
23:46It's just, it's never a good watch.
23:50Peter's, Peter's struggling with Jimmy.
23:52He's a good dad, but I'm sure he's going to get there.
24:00He'll get there.
24:02He's just never going to stop blaming me.
24:05He's not.
24:06And I'm not going to stop blaming myself, either.
24:09No, no, no.
24:09Sorry.
24:10Lauren, no.
24:11Lauren, you cannot blame yourself.
24:13I can.
24:15I can and I will.
24:15All right.
24:19Great.
24:23In a neat little town they call Belfast.
24:30An apprentice to a trade I was bound.
24:36And many an hour's sweet happiness.
24:40Zach, Jimmy is blind.
24:43He's blind.
24:45I'm going to have to look at myself in the mirror every single day,
24:48knowing that I didn't do everything I possibly could to protect him.
24:52Kids are born every day to stone-cold sober parents with problems, Lauren.
24:55Lauren, it's life.
24:59It ain't fair.
25:00Things don't go the way you want them to.
25:04From where I'm sat, you're the luckiest person in the world, you know that.
25:14Lauren, I, um, I lost a little girl that I couldn't protect.
25:22I've got another little girl that I'm trying to protect from 500 miles away.
25:25And now I've found out I've got a son.
25:29Wants nothing to do with me.
25:30And you can add him to the family I'm never going to get.
25:34You've got a son?
25:35Yeah.
25:35What are you talking about?
25:37Barney Mitchell's...
25:38My kid.
25:41Yeah, and he don't want anything to do with me.
25:44Oh.
25:46Oh.
25:47I, uh, I keep on telling myself that it's Nicola dripping poison,
25:52but he don't know me.
25:53Why would he want to know me?
25:55It's too late, isn't it?
25:59I'm running out of time, Lauren.
26:01I'm a 37-year-old bloke with three kids I should be looking after.
26:06And look at me.
26:06Look at the state of me.
26:09I've got nothing.
26:10Her eyes, they shone like diamonds
26:14I thought her the queen of the land
26:19And her hair, it hung over her shoulders
26:26Tied up in a black velvet bag
26:33You?
26:44You've got a family.
26:47Louis, Jimmy, it's there.
26:49It's right there in front of you, innit?
26:50You're going to love them and protect them
26:52And they are lucky to have you, Lauren.
26:55So lucky.
26:58Peter don't deserve
27:00The family that I would kill for.
27:03He did.
27:08Hmm.
27:38Hmm.