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Short filmTranscript
00:00:30And a loud guitar
00:00:32When it's all over and done
00:00:34They'll tell you I'm the one
00:00:36Who always went too far
00:00:38I want to soar like a seagull
00:00:40Live like a king
00:00:42All I want is everything
00:00:44Under the sun
00:00:51Summer days and the seas
00:00:54The world's at my command
00:00:57I ride the waves and build my dreams
00:01:00My castle's in the sand
00:01:03Even when the tide comes crashing
00:01:07Tearing at the castle walls
00:01:10Even through life's chain reaction
00:01:13You won't see me fall
00:01:16Cause I want everything under the sun
00:01:19I want girls and money
00:01:21And a loud guitar
00:01:23When it's all over and done
00:01:25They'll tell you I'm the one
00:01:27Who always went too far
00:01:29I want to soar like a seagull
00:01:31Live like a king
00:01:33All I want is everything
00:01:35Under the sun
00:01:42Suddenly I realized
00:01:45Life can be so strange
00:01:48When I looked into your eyes
00:01:51I felt the whole world change
00:01:54Now the thing I dream about
00:01:57Is lying with you on the beach
00:02:01When you're wrapped up in my arms
00:02:04Nothing's out of reach
00:02:06Cause I got everything under the sun
00:02:10I don't need no money or a fancy car
00:02:14Baby I know you're the one
00:02:16Cause you make me feel just like a movie star
00:02:20I want to soar like a seagull
00:02:22Live like a king
00:02:24Cause girl you give me everything
00:02:26Under the sun
00:02:39Cause I got everything under the sun
00:02:42I don't need no money or a fancy car
00:02:46Baby I know you're the one
00:02:49Cause you make me feel just like a movie star
00:02:52I want to soar like a seagull
00:02:54Live like a king
00:02:56Cause girl you give me everything
00:03:19Under the sun
00:03:49Under the sun
00:03:52Under the sun
00:03:54Under the sun
00:03:56Under the sun
00:03:58Johnny Staccato was a high living low life
00:04:01And if I didn't get what I came for
00:04:02He'd be living even higher off the millions
00:04:04He'd scam from my weird uncle Gene
00:04:06The two of them have been mortal enemies
00:04:08For a decade now
00:04:09And it was my job to save my uncle's butt
00:04:14Hi
00:04:15Hi
00:04:16Do me a favor and do me
00:04:18Pardon me?
00:04:19Start with my legs
00:04:21And work your way up
00:04:28Do I know you?
00:04:29Ah, the name's Spencer, Harry Spencer
00:04:31Spencer?
00:04:33You must be a private eye
00:04:35No, I'm not a PI, actually I'm a teacher
00:04:38A teacher?
00:04:40Boring
00:04:41Huh?
00:04:42Listen pal, all my friends teach
00:04:45Tonya over there heads the physics department at Yale
00:04:52Am I bothering you?
00:04:53Extremely
00:04:56So, are you an educated girl?
00:04:57Harvard
00:04:59Tell me Harry, where did you go to school?
00:05:02Well, I managed to graduate from the North Dakota Teachers and Pipefitters Junior Mail Order College
00:05:08Then I managed to get a teaching gig over at the Beach Academy
00:05:11Wow, the Beach Academy?
00:05:13That's him
00:05:18Babes just seem to dig the Academy
00:05:23I hate to kiss and run, but I gotta save my girl
00:05:26Now on most days I would go with the flow
00:05:29In fact, I taught a few classes in it at the Academy
00:05:32But that's another story, this was definitely not most days
00:05:35Everything I wanted out of life depended on what would happen in the next hour
00:05:39Frank, where is Johnny?
00:05:43I don't know
00:05:44Where is he?
00:06:10Standing at the foot of the bed menacing Shannon
00:06:13The one I ever loved was a total mega psycho dirtbag one Johnny Staccato
00:06:18A really bad, good fellow, wise guy, gangster type dude
00:06:22And his partner Rico was even worse
00:06:27Hi Harry, how you doing? Nice of you to drop by
00:06:32Hey Johnny, so where's Rico?
00:06:35Rico? Hell, long gone man
00:06:38Aren't you two state partners with some scum sucking slime ball who would bad mouth you
00:06:43Steal from you and try to screw your wife?
00:06:46No, I guess not
00:06:47Neither did Rico
00:06:52I got him
00:06:55You know what I like about you Johnny?
00:06:57What?
00:06:59Absolutely nothing
00:07:02Hey, you're some kind of a wise guy or something
00:07:07I'm going to stay up nights making sure that you screw this one up
00:07:12Look Johnny, I just took a little break at half time, thought I'd come by, shoot the breeze, rescue my girl, you know?
00:07:17Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you know what I'm going to do for you?
00:07:20Drop dead right here on the floor?
00:07:21No, Michael Jackson
00:07:24Woo!
00:07:30I guess you're wondering exactly how I got myself into this mess
00:07:34Well, it all began at the beach one week ago
00:07:38South Beach, Florida
00:07:40Hip, hot, happening
00:07:42Sun, sand, surf, man
00:07:45Skin, the sky, an unreal azure blue
00:07:49The foam on the white caps sparkling like the shimmering cool surface of a perfect margarita
00:08:00It was the day Billy the Kid came to town
00:08:03We both grew up in a nowhere town where the buses don't run
00:08:07I'd been down here for a couple of years on the case, but Billy?
00:08:10Billy was totally turned on by the whole Miami scene
00:08:20The moment he saw her, he fell instantly, totally in lust
00:08:24Billy decided to give up on the maximum excitement of another 20 below winter in North Dakota and follow me into the sun
00:08:32Hey, Chick!
00:08:35Hey, Chick!
00:08:37Hey, Chick!
00:08:38Hey, Chick!
00:08:39Hey, Chick!
00:08:40Hey, Chick!
00:08:41Hey, Chick!
00:08:42Hey, Chick!
00:08:43Hey, Chick!
00:08:44Hey, Chick!
00:08:45Hey, Chick!
00:08:46Hey, Chick!
00:08:47Hey, Chick!
00:08:48Hey, Chick!
00:08:49Hey, Chick!
00:08:50Hey, Chick!
00:08:51Hey, Chick!
00:08:52Hey, Chick!
00:08:53Hey, Chick!
00:08:54Hey, Chick!
00:08:55Hey, Chick!
00:08:56Hey, Chick!
00:08:57Hey, Chick!
00:08:58Hey, Chick!
00:08:59Hey, Chick!
00:09:01Well, it was the best thing I could think of at the moment
00:09:03Listen, I, uh, I, um, I, um, I, um, I, um
00:09:08Oh, hey, Chick, followed through with the classic I, uh
00:09:12This is beautiful
00:09:13Where are you from?
00:09:14Well, actually, what I wanted was I wanted to ask you a question
00:09:17I was wondering if maybe...
00:09:19No, I know, you're wondering if we could go out on a date, right?
00:09:22And I'm not my type
00:09:24Uh, I was wondering if maybe there was a possibility
00:09:29You know, no offense or anything, because I can tell you're not from around here
00:09:32But I was looking for something just a little higher on the food chain
00:09:35Listen, what I wanted to know is if you know my brother, his name is Harry Spencer
00:09:40Harry Spencer? From the Beach Academy?
00:09:42Yeah
00:09:43You're his brother?
00:09:45Yeah
00:09:47I'm so sorry
00:09:48You know, sometimes a girl gets hit on so much here at the beach, she gets punched
00:09:52No, Harry's a good friend of mine
00:09:54My name's Harley
00:09:55Hi, Harley, nice to meet you, my name's Billy Spencer
00:09:57How are you?
00:09:58Pleasure
00:09:59Pleasure
00:10:00Uh, listen, since you mentioned it, maybe there is a chance, you know, we could, like, have lunch?
00:10:07No
00:10:08No?
00:10:09No. Well, I didn't think so, actually, because I didn't really want to
00:10:12Because I hate lunch, because, you know, fills you up in the middle of the day
00:10:15You can't exercise, no swimming
00:10:18Well, is lunch anything like dinner?
00:10:21Actually, it's exactly like dinner
00:10:23Um, but it costs more
00:10:25But that's okay, I can afford it, no problem
00:10:27So, dinner?
00:10:29Okay, it's a date then
00:10:31A date?
00:10:32Yeah
00:10:33Because I was just on my way to the gym before you almost killed me in your car
00:10:36Right
00:10:37And, um, let me see, I have thighs at noon, buns at three
00:10:40She said buns
00:10:42Buns are cool
00:10:45I was thinking maybe I could squeeze you in the middle
00:10:47I love to be squeezed in the middle
00:10:49That's, like, one of my favourite things, how did you know?
00:10:51Okay, it's a date then
00:10:53Oh, wait, no, better yet, why don't you come catch my act?
00:10:56You have an act
00:10:58Doesn't every girl?
00:11:00I guess you're right
00:11:02Thanks
00:11:03Yes
00:11:04All right, I'll see you then
00:11:05All right
00:11:09Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore
00:11:14The Beach Academy
00:11:23What are you doing?
00:11:26Are you a cadet here?
00:11:29I'll see you later
00:11:31Move it!
00:11:39A surfside school for beach bums and babes to learn swimming, surfing, jet skiing, beach volleyball
00:11:45Well, you get the picture
00:11:47The school is fully accredited and since its opening this very year has brought top students from all over the world
00:11:52It's a growing little gold mine owned entirely by my weird uncle Gene
00:11:56Or as he is affectionately known by the students, Dean Gene
00:12:00He's a compulsive gambler, dean of the Beach Academy and sole proprietor of the infamous Baja Beach Club
00:12:07The Beach Club
00:12:19The boys were good
00:12:21They should be after all, I taught them
00:12:24Damn, after all these years it felt fine to be a winner
00:12:27Even if our opponents were a little... effeminate
00:12:38Yeah!
00:12:43It was then I saw her for the first time
00:12:46The closer she got, the better she looked
00:12:49I would come to know and love this exceptional lady
00:12:52To me she was the most beautiful girl in the world
00:13:02If I want to give you a point or two here, I know you better do that, all right?
00:13:05Seriously, you guys look great, man
00:13:07Do what you're doing!
00:13:13She was headed right on past the game and out of my life when...
00:13:35She turned and smiled at me
00:13:45And suddenly the world was filled with singing, light, hope, magic
00:13:50I just love a winner
00:13:52And indeed, in that brief shining moment I truly believed myself a winner
00:13:59This heavenly creature actually smiled at me
00:14:02What could possibly go wrong?
00:14:04Hey, hey, you, big dummy!
00:14:09Well, you still remember your name, ain't that something?
00:14:12Listen, another 50k on my bad boys
00:14:15Can I take your money, old fart?
00:14:17Old fart?
00:14:20You are a lump of steroid leftover
00:14:23My nephew's team will beat the shorts out of your team
00:14:26Uncle Gene, you're winning
00:14:28Just be nice and take the man's money, don't let this get out of control
00:14:31And you, stop taking bets!
00:14:33You don't have a chance in hell of winning, this is bordering on the masochistic
00:14:36Maso-what? You're Disney, dude
00:14:39Maso-what? Maso-what?
00:14:44This guy's a moron
00:14:47A moronski!
00:14:49A moronski? I'm an American
00:15:00Let me let you in on a little secret
00:15:03I don't like you, Harry, I don't like you a whole lot
00:15:07I'll tell you what I'm gonna do
00:15:09First, I'm gonna beat your team
00:15:11That's public, that's business
00:15:14And that's for Johnny
00:15:16Then I'm gonna beat you up down and repeatedly
00:15:21And that's pleasure, that's private
00:15:24That's for me
00:15:26I see
00:15:29All right, Saturday night, on the beach, you and me
00:15:32Why wait till Saturday?
00:15:35I just want it to be a little closer to your shower night
00:15:38Excuse me
00:15:45That a boy, guys! Ha! Smash him!
00:15:50I just want you to know I appreciate your confidence
00:15:52But you've already got $200,000 on the game as it is
00:15:55Listen, winning is great, winning is American
00:16:00And winning is what I like to do
00:16:06Next Saturday night, dude
00:16:08Yeah, I got the fever
00:16:10I am dead
00:16:17Isn't it great, Harry?
00:16:19Yes, this is truly great
00:16:26Can I train him or can I train him? What do you think, huh?
00:16:29I think I under-bet
00:16:33You know, you can lighten up, it's only a game
00:16:35You don't have to bet the front
00:16:36No, no, no, no, no
00:16:37Life is only a game
00:16:39This is game
00:16:41It's not just winning
00:16:43It's for me to get the chance to kick that rat-ass
00:16:46Johnny Staccato once and for all
00:16:49That pink moon-covered slime piece of maggot-eating flesh
00:16:53I want to grind his face into the sand
00:17:00I feel like I want to take him for every damn dime he's got
00:17:03I want to totally humiliate him
00:17:06I get the point
00:17:08Will you please just do it next game?
00:17:10Are you kidding me?
00:17:12What is the matter with you, Charlie?
00:17:14I don't know
00:17:16Are you kidding me?
00:17:17What is the matter with you, child?
00:17:19After a defeat like this and a big one like this
00:17:22You think there's gonna be a next game?
00:17:25Come on, fella
00:17:26I mean, Johnny Staccato
00:17:28He may be a degenerate murderer
00:17:31But he's not stupid
00:17:35Fella
00:17:46Two hundred K on the academy, ya big dummy
00:17:50You've got a hell of a lot of cash to burn, Baldy
00:17:53No more bets, okay?
00:17:55Okay, I promise
00:18:08Come on, any more bets?
00:18:11Okay, that's it, gentlemen
00:18:13No more bets
00:18:15What about it, Genie Weenie?
00:18:17One final bet?
00:18:26I dream of Genie with a hat full of hair
00:18:31It's not a bald spot, alligator breath
00:18:37It's a solar panel for a sex machine, honey child
00:18:42Even on a desert island, the best is gonna get the most
00:18:48Erica!
00:18:51Okay, girls, let's take this button out
00:18:53Yeah, let's go, come on!
00:19:02Suddenly, my undefeated team was being humiliated and demoralized right before my very eyes
00:19:13Oh!
00:19:17It was down to one point, sudden death
00:19:22Hey, Blondie
00:19:26Come on
00:19:38You better have the money ready in the morning
00:19:41Johnny's not a patient man, be ready
00:19:47I was in deep, deep trouble
00:19:49Not only had my team lost, but Uncle Gene, who had so much faith in me, had lost a small fortune
00:19:55I had let everybody down
00:19:57Like I said, I love a winner
00:20:00And lost my dream girl
00:20:02But then, I had an idea
00:20:12Excuse me, excuse me
00:20:14Look, uh, was that an accident?
00:20:17What?
00:20:18That fantastic thing you did with the volleyball, how did you do it?
00:20:20Pretty well, I thought
00:20:22Yeah, what I mean is, where did you learn to hit a ball like that?
00:20:24Are you a professional or something?
00:20:25Close
00:20:27I was the leader of the U.S. Women's Olympic Volleyball Team
00:20:30Yeah, but I watched those games, I never saw you
00:20:32The night I was supposed to leave for Barcelona, something happened that made it impossible for me to go
00:20:38But I didn't hear anything
00:20:39Look, I gotta run, it's a long story
00:20:41But, not out of my life I hope
00:20:43I'm Harry Spencer
00:20:45Pleased to meet you Harry, I'm Shannon McSorrel
00:20:49Hi, I'm Bresti, I mean Billy, I'm Billy Spencer
00:20:52Hi
00:20:53What's up bro?
00:20:54Billy!
00:20:55How you doing man?
00:20:56Bro, why don't you call me, tell me you're coming
00:20:58It was a spur of the moment decision really
00:21:00Well, I'm glad you're here man, I'm also glad you missed the game I just coached
00:21:05Hey, it wasn't your fault, you were set up
00:21:07Set up?
00:21:08Wake up and smell the coffee pal, trust me, those babes are all ringers
00:21:11Yeah, yeah, I guess it seems pretty obvious now
00:21:14Damn, am I a schmuck
00:21:16Yeah, that's true, I didn't want to be the one to say it
00:21:18But since you came right out with it, I'm pretty happy about that
00:21:21Look, we could all go somewhere, maybe have some coffee
00:21:25Sorry, I'm off caffeine
00:21:27Or a bite to eat
00:21:28I don't do lunch and I have to run to another appointment
00:21:30Well, you know, if I'm getting in the way, I can just leave
00:21:32Because I sense a terrible, dramatic thing going on here
00:21:35You're meshing and now you're not, so I'll leave
00:21:38You know, I can just blend into the crowd
00:21:40No, I'm gone, just assume me histy, gone
00:21:43Okay? Stay? Fine, I will
00:21:46Very good
00:21:47So?
00:21:48So?
00:21:49So where do we meet later?
00:21:51Oh, the marina, Slip F18
00:21:54See you at 6
00:21:55Okay
00:21:56Bye
00:21:57Bye
00:21:58Yeah, Slip F18
00:21:59See you at 6, Slip F18
00:22:01Okay
00:22:02Bye
00:22:036 o'clock
00:22:04Bye
00:22:05Bye-bye
00:22:07Well, bro, I can't believe you've done it again
00:22:10It amazes me
00:22:19I think I want to do something useful
00:22:21I want to put my skills to work
00:22:23I want to help in whatever way I can to restore the vibrancy of the Beach Academy
00:22:28Well, that's interesting, Kiserian, you can't surf, swim, play volleyball, build a sandcastle
00:22:33Hey, I resemble that remark
00:22:35As a matter of fact, I happen to be one of the world-renowned sandcastle builders
00:22:39All right, how about if we start you out with helping out with beginner volleyball?
00:22:43Oh, now there's something interesting I think not
00:22:47That's something I would be completely bored with
00:22:50But, hey, you know, I was thinking, like, something good, you know?
00:22:54Something I could sink my teeth into
00:22:56Something like Advanced Sun Tan Oil Application 101
00:23:03How's that sound?
00:23:05Where are you going?
00:23:06Why are you leaving?
00:23:07I thought that was good
00:23:08I happen to be... I have a class, I have a certificate
00:23:11All right
00:23:19But I thought Olympic athletes weren't supposed to get involved in stuff like that
00:23:23Right, but my teammates and I didn't know the real deal until it was too late
00:23:27This crooked gambler sucked us into what we thought was a charity athletic program
00:23:31And the only charity turned out to be the slimeballs offshore bank account
00:23:36Wow, I'm sorry
00:23:38Not as sorry as I am
00:23:40On me and on my coach, Sean
00:23:42Sean, your boyfriend?
00:23:44No
00:23:45Husband?
00:23:46Brother, my kid brother
00:23:48The scam killed my Olympic chances and, um, it put Sean in jail
00:23:53Oh, I understand that
00:23:55Keeping my kid brother out of trouble used to be my full-time job
00:23:59So, the other teammates, you ever talk to them?
00:24:02Yeah, all the time, they're my best friends
00:24:04I suppose they live all over the country though, huh?
00:24:06Well, originally, yeah, but after the long Olympic training we just grew so close we all settled here
00:24:12Here in the Miami area?
00:24:13Miami, Palm Beach, Lauderdale, yeah, we love it down here
00:24:17Yeah, well, what's not to love?
00:24:20Yeah, what's not to love?
00:24:24So, you ever get the urge to get the old team back together again, you know?
00:24:27Yeah, every day, but don't get any ideas
00:24:31I got burned too badly and I'm out of the game for good
00:24:35I understand
00:24:36I believe that, Harry, I really do
00:24:40You seem to be a sensitive and decent guy
00:24:43So, what am I going to do with you?
00:24:46Keep you close till you find out
00:24:53So, this is where you live?
00:24:54Yeah, this is home sweet home
00:24:59You know, this isn't real champagne, real champagne tickles my nose
00:25:04Yeah, well, this stuff eats it away
00:25:06Yeah
00:25:09Do you have to go?
00:25:11Definitely
00:25:13Eventually
00:25:15Oh, yeah, one more bottle of cheap champagne coming up
00:25:18So
00:25:21Reach, reach, come on girls, reach
00:25:27That's it, come on, get back here
00:25:31Come here, get over here
00:25:34Get over here, get over here
00:25:57No one will know, babe, you're my ace in the hole
00:26:05Hi, hi there, hi, hi, hi
00:26:10Hello, hi there
00:26:14Very good, deuce
00:26:17You know, if a guy can't get laid in this town
00:26:21He might as well just cut off his weenie
00:26:24Maybe I'm thinking of someone else, but I thought you were still a virgin
00:26:28A virgin, a virgin
00:26:33A virgin, I'm a virgin, yeah, oh, I'm a virgin, yeah, right
00:26:39Of course I'm a virgin, shut up, would you?
00:26:43God, you know, I decided I have a plan
00:26:46I'm gonna just build one huge sperm bank and spread it all over South Florida
00:26:51All right, listen, before you go nuts out here
00:26:54Take it from your big brother, there's a lot of fun in numbers, but nothing substantial
00:26:59If you find one good relationship out here, you should cling to it, it's worth a hundred superficial ones
00:27:03You know, and that's funny, because I'm the kind of guy who would definitely go for the hundred superficial ones
00:27:07I mean, I like breasts
00:27:12Fake breasts, I mean, you know, they do it for me
00:27:15Yeah, I know
00:27:17Listen, for some odd reason, Harley seems to dig you
00:27:19Ooh, that's odd, yeah, that's strange, can't figure that one out
00:27:24But, you know, I was just wondering, what do you know about her?
00:27:27I mean, is she, like, you know, smooth to ride, or is it kind of rough around the edges, rocky?
00:27:32You know, good and bad, basically, is what I'm asking you
00:27:35Look, whatever happened between Harley and me is strictly between Harley and me
00:27:39You should take her out, get to know her a little bit on your own
00:27:42You know, build something
00:27:44Yeah, yeah
00:27:47No, that sounds like too much work
00:27:49It is, it's a lot of work, but it's worth it in the end
00:27:52In the end
00:27:57Ow!
00:28:14You behave yourself, young man
00:28:16Okay, you got it
00:28:22Yeah, check her out, man
00:28:28I can't believe it
00:28:44Damn, check her out, man
00:28:50Jeez, boy
00:28:58You gotta give me some of that
00:29:01Dang!
00:29:19Billy, boy!
00:29:21Uncle G!
00:29:22How are you?
00:29:24How about you?
00:29:27When did you get into town, Billy?
00:29:28A few hours ago
00:29:29Hey!
00:29:31Never let your guard down
00:29:32He's already got a little thing going with Harley
00:29:35Oh, that's a hell of a gal
00:29:37Hey!
00:29:39Gets pretty young for his old age, huh?
00:29:41Listen, Uncle Gene, I'd love to stay and play, but I gotta go watch my girl, okay?
00:29:45Oh, good boy
00:29:46Good boy, Billy
00:29:48I gotta tell you something
00:29:49If we had had that girl, Shannon, in the days today, we would have won big, huh?
00:29:54That might be so, Uncle Gene, but I don't want to take advantage of this girl
00:29:57She's definitely marriage material
00:29:59Of course, that's exactly what I was thinking
00:30:01Yeah
00:30:25It's pay-off time, Baldy
00:30:27I will take care of that crime, Johnny, in person
00:30:31Where?
00:30:32When I'm good and ready
00:30:34Oh, tomorrow
00:30:36Okay, Moronsky
00:30:41What?
00:30:42Moronsky?
00:30:43Another country in Europe
00:30:46What?
00:30:47Moronsky?
00:30:48Another country in Europe
00:31:16Thank you
00:31:39Just, just, just don't do anything stupid
00:31:46Yeah, you heard
00:31:48Five hundred thousand, the man has come through
00:31:53Hey, Gene, hey, how you doing?
00:31:56Johnny, you're a liar, a cheat, and a total sleazebag
00:32:01And you know what that's gonna get you?
00:32:03My own talk show
00:32:05Funny
00:32:07The hatred of thousands of innocent people
00:32:10Promise?
00:32:11You know, that's a great bonus
00:32:14Hey, you know, you want to play double or nothing?
00:32:18What?
00:32:19Double or nothing
00:32:20You got nothing and I got doubles
00:32:26I like you, Gene
00:32:27But you got the heart and soul of a real gambler
00:32:31And you got money
00:32:32So I'm gonna give you a second chance at rematching pin rods next Saturday
00:32:37On the beach?
00:32:39Of course
00:32:41And your nephew here, Harry boy
00:32:44He can use his old team to play or any team to play
00:32:49Oh, yeah
00:32:51Yeah, and when we win?
00:32:53If you win
00:32:55If you win, I'll forgive your old debt
00:32:58And give you two million bucks on top of it
00:33:02How's that, huh?
00:33:03And I get your yacht and your club
00:33:07Hey, you got cojones the size of Kuwait
00:33:11And if you lose
00:33:13You sign the deed to the beach academy over to me
00:33:17No, no way
00:33:18The beachfront school grounds alone are assessed at over twelve million dollars
00:33:21Plus the buildings, the profit potential is huge, no
00:33:24All right
00:33:25If you don't want the deal
00:33:27Then just give me back the money you owe
00:33:32You'll have your cash in the morning
00:33:35Ah, you know, I thought you were a real betting man
00:33:39But you're nothing but a wimp
00:33:41Damn you
00:33:44You want a bet like that?
00:33:47You didn't think you were that stupid
00:33:49Well, you got a dumb deal
00:34:00Dream!
00:34:09Out of the water, out of the water, let's move it
00:34:11Come on, come on, come on
00:34:13Move it, move it, move it, come on
00:34:17What are you smiling at, huh?
00:34:19You think this is for fun, huh?
00:34:22All right, hit the beach, shell detail
00:34:25Hit the beach, get moving
00:34:27Come on, come on
00:34:31Good shot
00:34:33Come on
00:34:38You're welcome
00:34:39You not only lost the academy, you lost your mind
00:34:42We don't have a team
00:34:43Translation, we don't have a prayer
00:34:45But we do, Harry
00:34:47Listen to this
00:34:48I found out that your girlfriend
00:34:51Is an Olympic class volleyball player
00:34:54And all her former teammates live in the Miami area
00:34:58I already know that
00:34:59And I also know that she has no intention
00:35:01Of getting back into the limelight
00:35:03Especially not with volleyball
00:35:07Oh, Gene
00:35:08Don't tell me you were counting on her and her friends to play
00:35:13I was counting on you
00:35:15And come on, boy, you never fail
00:35:18I can vouch for that
00:35:22Gene, you're my uncle
00:35:24I care about you, I respect you
00:35:26You're my favorite uncle
00:35:28But you have gone seriously north of normal on this, okay?
00:35:31Now, what part of she won't play don't you understand?
00:35:33Well, not even for you
00:35:35Hell, no
00:35:36If she's not going to play to save her career
00:35:37She's not going to play for some strangers
00:35:40What do you mean, strangers?
00:35:41Harry, look
00:35:42I was under the impression that, I mean
00:35:46You're more than a stranger, dog
00:35:48A lot more, that's the whole point
00:35:50She's not some bimbo to be sweet-talked
00:35:53Look, look, I mean, if we win, I'll give the bimbo
00:35:56Sorry, I slipped
00:35:58I'll let the ladies team share one million dollars
00:36:03Gene, I would do anything for you
00:36:06And I don't need a million or even a hundred million dollars to do it
00:36:09What I need is for you to understand that I really care about Shannon
00:36:12And I won't exploit her
00:36:14Not for money, not for anything
00:36:22Harry
00:36:23Harry, you've got to do it for me, Harry
00:36:26I'm Gene, your...
00:36:28Your favorite uncle, huh?
00:36:30Right?
00:36:31You've got to do it for me
00:36:33If you don't, Harry, Harry
00:36:35If you don't, I'm...
00:36:36I'm finished! Kaput!
00:36:40Just once, once, Harry
00:36:43Please?
00:36:46Huh?
00:36:49I'll think about it
00:36:51I was a man with a problem, a big problem
00:36:54If I told Shannon the real deal, she was going to totally freak out on me
00:36:58I knew she was not going to play some beach ball game
00:37:01Just so that Uncle Gene could indulge in his gambling passion
00:37:04And she was not a girl moved by money
00:37:12Light it up! Face front!
00:37:14What are you looking at?
00:37:16Alright, girls!
00:37:18This is your rep!
00:37:20This is your friend!
00:37:24You love your rep?
00:37:26It will love you!
00:37:28Let's show your rep a little affection, girls
00:37:30Come on, let's go
00:37:32Chest up, chest up
00:37:34Butt out, butt out
00:37:36Let's go
00:37:37Show your rep a little affection
00:37:39It loves you
00:37:41You love it
00:37:43You can be at the sea
00:37:45100 miles or more
00:37:47And without your rep
00:37:49You're shark bait
00:37:54Do you understand?
00:37:56I've seen people eaten by sharks before
00:37:59Because they forgot their rep or their friend
00:38:04Alright!
00:38:05About face!
00:38:08Alright!
00:38:09About face!
00:38:14Alright!
00:38:15Hit the waves!
00:38:16Hit the waves!
00:38:18Move it! Move it!
00:38:22Real champagne
00:38:24In a plastic cup
00:38:25I'm impressed
00:38:27So you must think I really rate
00:38:29No
00:38:30I mean, yes, of course you rate
00:38:32But don't tell me
00:38:33This is going to eat away my nose too?
00:38:35No
00:38:36You're the real thing
00:38:39Look
00:38:40Can I get a bit personal with you for a moment?
00:38:44You can get very, very personal
00:38:45For as many moments as you want
00:38:47I just wanted to tell you
00:38:49That the reason I'm going out with you
00:38:51Is because of your...
00:38:52My body, it's cool
00:38:54Yes, but only partially
00:38:56Brains?
00:38:58No, not exactly
00:39:00Your integrity
00:39:02You're a really solid guy
00:39:04I really think I can trust you
00:39:07Alright, look
00:39:08Before you give me any more undeserved praise
00:39:11I don't know how to ask you this
00:39:15I thought you were never at a loss for words
00:39:17I was once
00:39:18Talked my way out of it
00:39:20Well, let me save you the agony
00:39:22You want me to play volleyball
00:39:23So you can bet on the game
00:39:24And scam a lot of money, right?
00:39:26You knew
00:39:28The expensive champagne was a tip-off
00:39:29But I was hoping I was wrong
00:39:31Look, the reason for the champagne
00:39:32Has nothing to do with this
00:39:34I admit it, I need your help badly
00:39:36My uncle's in a bind, I'm in a bind
00:39:38And the truth is, yes, I'd love you to play
00:39:40No way in hell
00:39:42Okay, look
00:39:43Uncle Gene can offer you and your teammates
00:39:45Share in a million dollars of prize money
00:39:47Do I look like Minnesota fats to you?
00:39:50You think I'm some kind of cheap volleyball hustler
00:39:52Is that what you think I'm about?
00:39:53Money?
00:39:54No
00:39:55Look, if all I cared about was money
00:39:56I wouldn't have worked so hard as an amateur athlete
00:39:58Harry, I don't take money for my sport
00:40:01I don't do endorsements
00:40:02And I don't gamble
00:40:03And frankly, pal
00:40:04I'm not the world's biggest fan of those who do
00:40:06All right, look
00:40:07I shouldn't open my fat mouth, okay?
00:40:09I mean, I told Uncle Gene this was impossible
00:40:11You know you're impossible
00:40:12I thought we had something really special
00:40:14We do
00:40:15Yeah?
00:40:16Or is our relationship based on me being an Olympic athlete
00:40:18And on making your weird Uncle Rich?
00:40:21Okay, first of all, he's my weird Uncle Gene
00:40:23My weird Uncle Rich bets on plankton races in the East River
00:40:25It's a whole other story
00:40:26You know, you're impossible
00:40:28Shannon, our relationship is based on one thing
00:40:31Love
00:40:32Okay, I'm crazy about you
00:40:33If you don't want to play, I understand
00:40:35It's not going to change how I feel
00:40:37You know, Harry, to me
00:40:38There are more important things in life than money
00:40:41I agree
00:40:42It's beliefs like that that make me crazy about you
00:40:59You know, you deserve to know why I won't play
00:41:01No, no, it's not important
00:41:03Yes, it is
00:41:04Remember that business deal I told you about?
00:41:07Yeah
00:41:08Well, what I didn't tell you was that, uh
00:41:11Johnny Staccato got me involved in it
00:41:14He framed my teammates and me
00:41:16And we lost our jobs
00:41:17And I lost my job
00:41:18And I lost my job
00:41:19And I lost my job
00:41:20And I lost my job
00:41:21And I lost my job
00:41:22And I lost my job
00:41:23And I lost my job
00:41:24And I lost my job
00:41:25And I lost my job
00:41:26He framed my teammates and me
00:41:27And we lost our Olympic chances
00:41:30Well, there's something else we have in common
00:41:32Our mistrust of Johnny Staccato
00:41:35Well, I trust Johnny, all right
00:41:37I trust him to lie, steal, and cheat from anybody who let him
00:41:42But you know something, Harry?
00:41:44We're not going to let that son of a bitch get away with anything anymore
00:41:48You're going to play
00:41:50We're going to play to win
00:41:52You are the greatest
00:41:56I love you
00:42:08Wait, wait
00:42:09We only have one week to get this miracle together
00:42:12Let's save it for the victory celebration
00:42:15Okay?
00:42:16You're absolutely right
00:42:18I won't touch you
00:42:19I won't even talk to you
00:42:20It'll be like we've been married for 30 years
00:42:22Yeah, right
00:42:26Okay
00:42:43Okay, come on, girl
00:42:44Come on, sexy
00:42:45Come on, you love that camera
00:42:47You want that camera
00:42:48It is your friend
00:42:49You make love to that camera
00:42:50Okay, come on
00:42:51Come on, high energy
00:42:52High energy
00:42:53You love that camera
00:42:54That camera is your friend
00:42:55Kisses, kisses, come on, okay, okay, sexy, sexy, I want sexy, I want sexy, I want you
00:42:59to want that camera.
00:43:00Everybody wants you.
00:43:01You are the sexiest thing in the world.
00:43:02Okay, legs.
00:43:03Legs, legs, legs.
00:43:04Higher, higher, higher.
00:43:05Okay.
00:43:06Sexy legs.
00:43:07Legs, legs.
00:43:08The right legs, legs, legs.
00:43:09Oh, look at this, my legs.
00:43:10Okay.
00:43:11Very good, very good.
00:43:12Sophisticated.
00:43:13Sophisticated.
00:43:14Sophisticated.
00:43:15Okay.
00:43:16Oh, oh, oh, pouting lips.
00:43:17Pouting lips.
00:43:18Oh, I'm so sad.
00:43:19Oh, come here and booze with me.
00:43:20Okay, that's what I want you to say to the camera.
00:43:21Okay, you're having fun.
00:43:22You're happy, happy, happy.
00:43:23Cut.
00:43:24Okay.
00:43:25Okay, now five minute break.
00:43:26I want you to make up, get dressed, and then we're going to do the centerfold.
00:43:27Okay?
00:43:28Okay.
00:43:29You guys, you need to work on this a little.
00:43:30I just need a little bit more energy from you and I'm not feeling it.
00:43:31Shannon.
00:43:32Hey.
00:43:33Good.
00:43:34It's great to see you.
00:43:35Hi.
00:43:36How are you doing?
00:43:37Great.
00:43:38Ashley Millicent, meet my favorite drill master, the leader of our Olympic team, Shannon.
00:43:39Hi.
00:43:40Hi.
00:43:41Hi.
00:43:42Hi.
00:43:43Hi.
00:43:44Hi.
00:43:45Hi.
00:43:46Hi.
00:43:47Hi.
00:43:48Hi.
00:43:49Hi.
00:43:50Hi.
00:43:51Hi.
00:43:52Hi.
00:43:53Hi.
00:43:54Hi.
00:43:55Hi.
00:43:56Shannon.
00:43:57Hi.
00:43:58Look at you.
00:43:59You look great.
00:44:00Hey, listen, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine.
00:44:01This is Harry.
00:44:02Hi.
00:44:03How are you doing?
00:44:04Pleased to meet you.
00:44:05Enjoying the shoot?
00:44:06More than you can possibly imagine.
00:44:07Listen, I, we have to ask you a favor.
00:44:08I know you're really busy right now, but...
00:44:09But we really need you to play a volleyball game with us.
00:44:13Volleyball?
00:44:14Sure.
00:44:15No problem.
00:44:16My favorite game.
00:44:17When and where?
00:44:18Well...
00:44:19How about Thursday at 11?
00:44:22No, we're talking about a serious game.
00:44:25Like we have to practice every day.
00:44:27We're, uh, we're playing Erica and her Ball Busters.
00:44:31Hey, it'd be a great game.
00:44:33It's as good as we are.
00:44:35Almost.
00:44:36Look, Shannon, I'd love to.
00:44:38It'd be a hell of a lot of fun kicking their butts, but...
00:44:41I just can't afford all that time off.
00:44:43I'm booked solid for the next three months.
00:44:46Look, Johnny Ciccato spent everything he owns on Erica's team.
00:44:49Damn.
00:44:50I'd love to see that bastard lose.
00:44:52Look, there's a million bucks of prize money for the winning team.
00:44:55You can divide it five ways.
00:44:57Well, isn't that about, what, $200,000?
00:45:00You know what?
00:45:01I bet you can make that in just a few weeks.
00:45:04If you go back to work, please?
00:45:08I'll think it over.
00:45:09Look, why don't you and your friend come out tomorrow?
00:45:12We're having a charity cow wash on South Beach.
00:45:15Okay.
00:45:16I'm a cancer.
00:45:18Keep smoking and you'll have cancer real soon, bud.
00:45:21Thanks.
00:45:23That's very nice of you to say.
00:45:25Um, you come here often?
00:45:28I work here.
00:45:30Oh.
00:45:31But it's okay.
00:45:33Because you're kind of cute.
00:45:35Hey, baby.
00:45:36How we doing?
00:45:37I told you, don't ever touch me.
00:45:39Fine.
00:45:42Wait, wait, wait.
00:45:44Don't I know you from somewhere?
00:45:47You.
00:45:48You're that guy that comes in and bothers the girls.
00:45:50That's you, isn't it?
00:45:51No, no, no, no, no.
00:45:52I thought I knew you from home.
00:45:53I'm North Dakota.
00:45:54I've never seen you before, though.
00:45:55I don't know.
00:45:56My room is in the back.
00:45:57I own this club.
00:45:58It's my place.
00:45:59I own this place.
00:46:00Oh, sorry.
00:46:01So you, like, talk to the girls and stuff?
00:46:03They work for me.
00:46:05Cool.
00:46:06You tell I feel them?
00:46:09Get out of my face.
00:46:11Cool.
00:46:13Putts.
00:46:23I think something bad is about to happen.
00:46:26Beach Academy training?
00:46:28No.
00:46:29Call it instinct.
00:46:33I can handle this.
00:46:39I won't go!
00:46:45Come on.
00:46:46Come on.
00:47:01I'm impressed.
00:47:02Oh, thanks a lot.
00:47:09Dom?
00:47:11Shan.
00:47:13How you doing, girl?
00:47:15Hi.
00:47:17Hey, it was very cool how you defended your woman like that.
00:47:21Oh, thanks.
00:47:22Well, she's not really my woman.
00:47:24You two know each other?
00:47:26This is Dominika Nika, the former Sister Mary Holly picture.
00:47:30She's your typical leather-loving, ex-con girl.
00:47:34Oh, another one of those.
00:47:36So, what's going on, Shan?
00:47:38Well, I'd like you to meet Harry.
00:47:41How you doing?
00:47:42Hi.
00:47:43Dom, we need your help.
00:47:45Count on it.
00:47:47I got my guitar and some hot new songs.
00:47:51Your guitar?
00:47:53I'm letting him in on a little secret.
00:47:55What is it?
00:47:56I don't know.
00:47:58Hot new songs.
00:48:00Your guitar?
00:48:02On the Letterman show,
00:48:04Wayne, Garth, and I get naked and sing
00:48:07It's a Small World After All,
00:48:09backed by Ike Turner,
00:48:10and the combined Vatican and Mormon choir
00:48:13doing the Melanesian Frog Worshipping Fertility Dance.
00:48:18Huh.
00:48:20That sounds like a great gig, Dom,
00:48:22but what we really need is for you to play volleyball with us next Saturday.
00:48:25We're playing Mahjong in our Ball Busters.
00:48:27Well, it's about time.
00:48:29No Letterman can wait.
00:48:31Volleyball?
00:48:32I live for the game.
00:48:34Great.
00:48:35Well, we practice tomorrow morning, 8 a.m. sharp, on the beach.
00:48:39I'll be there.
00:48:41Thanks.
00:48:43See ya.
00:48:46Well, it's nice to know Miami is following New York's lead
00:48:48in letting their psychos directly into the community.
00:48:51I heard that.
00:48:53Sorry.
00:49:25Hey, G, look.
00:49:27She's frightening me to death.
00:49:29What is it?
00:49:30What are you doing here?
00:49:31What am I doing here?
00:49:32Isn't it obvious here?
00:49:33I'm doing a field study, you see?
00:49:35I'm here for the American Sociological Association,
00:49:39and what I'm doing is I'm studying the post-traumatic stress on the male sex
00:49:45while watching a nude female dance.
00:49:48That sounds important.
00:49:49Yeah, it is.
00:49:50It is.
00:49:51What we call adult education.
00:49:54Yeah, well, I'm sure you should give him a flush.
00:49:59Actually, I'm taking a master's class.
00:50:03Excuse me, excuse me.
00:50:05Oh.
00:50:06Gene, how are you doing?
00:50:07Yeah.
00:50:08Your usual?
00:50:09Yeah.
00:50:10Having a good time?
00:50:11Thank you, pretty fellas.
00:50:13Pleasure.
00:50:14Your usual?
00:50:15Yeah.
00:50:16So that means you come here all the time?
00:50:18Well, archaeologists have to dig, don't they?
00:50:21Zoologists have to observe animals.
00:50:23Right, yes.
00:50:24And from a study like that, you should be getting a Ph.D.
00:50:28This is the best part.
00:50:30Watch this, watch this, watch this.
00:50:32What's going on here?
00:50:38So anyway, I go into my sister's room.
00:50:41You remember our little sister, Shelly?
00:50:44Shelly, Shelly.
00:50:45Right, fat girl, glasses, teeth missing.
00:50:48Played with dolls.
00:50:49Right, and her nose.
00:50:50She always used to pick her nose.
00:50:52So this was one of those nights, she's picking her nose, she's in the corner.
00:50:55I walk in, we open up the closet door, all this candy starts falling out, right?
00:50:59And I'm like, oh great, I can tell Mom that she's sitting in the corner picking her nose
00:51:03and candy's falling out of her closet.
00:51:05So I go in there and she's got this whole bucket of rotten candy.
00:51:10So I go in there and she's got this whole bucket of rotten candy.
00:51:14So I've got 25 cavities, I'm eating all this rotten candy, I steal it from Shelly.
00:51:18Shannon!
00:51:19Wait, wait, here's the best part, here's the best part.
00:51:22Guys, I'd like you to meet Piña Colada.
00:51:24How you doing?
00:51:25Nice to meet you.
00:51:26She was head of the English department at Columbia when I was young.
00:51:29You're drinking a Piña Colada?
00:51:30No, darling, that's my name.
00:51:32Oh, I love your drink.
00:51:33Hi, thank you.
00:51:34So what have you been up to?
00:51:36The tango.
00:51:37Like I had to make ends meet.
00:51:39I just ain't got the guts to carry on with that English teacher gig no more.
00:51:43You know, the money, it ain't so good.
00:51:46Well, we may be able to help out.
00:51:49Great, because Roman van der Bies, my last tango partner, just ripped me off, as you know.
00:51:54It takes two.
00:51:55Uh-huh, right.
00:51:57Truth be known, Sean, after the scandal at the Olympics,
00:52:00I just sort of bottomed out, fell completely apart.
00:52:04You, Piña, you were always the strongest of all of us.
00:52:07Same old story.
00:52:09Living on the back seat of my bike, selling second-hand anchovies door to door.
00:52:14Hey, it could be worse.
00:52:15I stayed in touch with some of the others, and after not going to the Olympics,
00:52:18it just destroyed their entire lives.
00:52:20I mean, we're talking divorce and bankruptcy, massive debt, being alone and sick and friendless.
00:52:27Stop trying to cheer me up.
00:52:29Well, this might cheer you up a little bit.
00:52:31We're supposed to play a volleyball game next week against Johnny Staccato's team,
00:52:35and there's a cool meal you can eat for the winners.
00:52:38Would I have to give up my anchovy route?
00:52:40Yeah, but, you know, the profit here for you could be like somewhere in the neighborhood of, oh, $200,000.
00:52:46And all the anchovies I can eat.
00:52:49And you could finally get even with Johnny Staccato.
00:52:53Count me in, beach dudes.
00:52:55Hey!
00:52:56Welcome aboard.
00:52:59Five hours.
00:53:00So are you ready?
00:53:03We've got shirts.
00:53:04Yay!
00:53:07We've got it going on now.
00:53:09I love you.
00:53:10I just love you.
00:53:13Beautiful.
00:53:14All right.
00:53:16This is great.
00:53:18All right.
00:53:19We are a love team.
00:53:22Check it out.
00:53:23Love to love you, baby.
00:53:24Well, guys, are we noted?
00:53:26Yeah.
00:53:28All right.
00:53:30All right.
00:53:31All right.
00:53:33Come on.
00:53:34Come on.
00:53:35Come on.
00:53:36Come on.
00:53:37Come on.
00:53:38Come on.
00:53:39Come on.
00:53:40Come on.
00:53:41Come on.
00:53:42Come on.
00:53:43Come on.
00:53:44Come on.
00:53:45Come on.
00:53:46Come on.
00:53:47Come on.
00:53:48Come on.
00:53:49Come on.
00:53:50Come on.
00:53:51Come on.
00:53:52Come on.
00:53:53Come on.
00:53:54Come on.
00:53:55Come on.
00:53:56Come on.
00:53:57Come on.
00:53:58Come on.
00:53:59Come on.
00:54:00Come on.
00:54:02Come on.
00:54:03Come on.
00:54:06Come on.
00:54:191, 2, 3, 4, 5, and run.
00:54:26Let's do this.
00:54:27This is our time.
00:54:28That's right.
00:54:29of a club full of people.
00:54:30You shouldn't be doing this.
00:54:31You should be doing this, and this,
00:54:33and maybe a little of this, okay?
00:54:34We gotta go, come on.
00:54:35I don't think so.
00:54:36Hey, don't, ah!
00:54:38Do we look rude to you or what?
00:54:40Fine!
00:54:48The girls were exhausted by the end of the day.
00:54:50They were starting to get the old magic back.
00:54:53I know we're not supposed to touch each other
00:54:55while we're training,
00:54:57but how'd you like to go someplace together,
00:54:58away from practice,
00:54:59and just get to know each other a little bit?
00:55:01I think I'd like that.
00:55:02Great.
00:55:03Perhaps we can sail to my friend's place on Fisher Island.
00:55:06He's gone for the night.
00:55:07We can have a whole place to ourselves.
00:55:08Sounds good, but I have a better idea.
00:55:12Oh yeah, what's that?
00:55:13Well, I noticed you're a music lover.
00:55:15Oh yeah, music's my life.
00:55:17So I would like to invite you, Mr. Harry Spencer,
00:55:20to a very special concert tonight.
00:55:22Great.
00:55:23Shall we say my place at night?
00:55:25We shall.
00:55:59Hey.
00:55:59Hi.
00:56:01This is a nice place.
00:56:03Wealthy family?
00:56:04Yeah, my dad's Brent McSorley, the famous circus clown.
00:56:07The guy in all the used car ads?
00:56:08Yeah, that's him.
00:56:10Well, you look incredible.
00:56:12I'll be the envy of every guy at the concert.
00:56:15Well, I hope so, Harry,
00:56:16because you're the only guy I invited.
00:56:19I don't understand.
00:56:20I know, and that's one of the things I like about you.
00:56:24You're a very good listener.
00:56:26I know, and that's one of the things I like about you.
00:56:29It's that constant, bewildered look.
00:56:33The concert's here?
00:56:34Bingo.
00:56:36And it isn't exactly rock and roll.
00:56:39Come on.
00:56:48What?
00:56:51I'm sorry.
00:56:52I know I should have told you,
00:56:53but I just couldn't resist.
00:56:55Does that make me a bad girl?
00:56:58Yes, it makes you a very bad girl.
00:57:00Well, are you gonna make me a face, then, sir?
00:57:04If it's orchestrated that way.
00:57:06What do you say we fiddle around?
00:57:11Okay.
00:57:12Okay.
00:57:56You know, we should put a diving board in that room, huh?
00:58:01Telephone, ma'am?
00:58:02No, don't answer it.
00:58:03I have to.
00:58:06Hello?
00:58:08Yes, I said I would, and I will.
00:58:11Goodbye.
00:58:18What's wrong?
00:58:19Who was that?
00:58:20That was nobody.
00:58:26You know, I'm really starting to dig classical music.
00:58:29Just classical music?
00:58:33Nope.
00:58:44We should wait till tomorrow after the game.
00:58:48Yeah, you're right.
00:58:49I'm gonna go.
00:58:50I'm gonna go.
00:58:51I'm gonna go.
00:58:52I'm gonna go.
00:58:53I'm gonna go.
00:58:54I'm gonna go.
00:58:54You're right.
00:58:59I guess I should get going.
00:59:03Good night.
00:59:04Good night.
00:59:13Bye.
00:59:14Bye.
00:59:28What are you doing in my house?
00:59:30I told you not to come here.
00:59:32Hey, babe, I gotta keep tabs on my investment.
00:59:36Is that what I am to you, Johnny?
00:59:37An investment?
00:59:39Oh, I didn't know you really cared, honey.
00:59:42Hey, you are whatever, whenever,
00:59:48and wherever I want you to be.
00:59:50Get it?
00:59:51Get it?
00:59:54I said get it.
01:00:00Hello?
01:00:00Hey, it's Harry.
01:00:03Look, I know the best way to lose someone
01:00:05is to try to rush things,
01:00:06but I just wanted to say that I'm pretty sure
01:00:10I'm falling in love with you.
01:00:11I can't wait till this game's over.
01:00:12We can spend a lot more time together.
01:00:14Harry.
01:00:15Hey, give it to me.
01:00:16No.
01:00:17No, you don't want to spend more time together?
01:00:19Harry, I can't talk to you right now.
01:00:20This is really-
01:00:21I said give it to me.
01:00:22Who is that?
01:00:23Shannon, are you okay?
01:00:24Are you deaf as well as being dumb?
01:00:27Johnny, no, please.
01:00:28John, what the hell is Johnny Staccato doing in your house?
01:00:31Yeah, yeah, I love you too, sweetheart.
01:00:34Yeah, she's okay.
01:00:37She's really, really okay.
01:00:42She's the hottest.
01:00:42Johnny, please.
01:00:44Hey, did you hear that?
01:00:45She begged.
01:00:47I just love it when she begs.
01:00:48It heats me up.
01:00:51Johnny, what the hell are you doing there?
01:00:53I just dropped by for a little refreshing shower
01:00:56and to check on my woman.
01:00:58She's in heat for a real man.
01:01:01All right, you listen to me, you son of a bitch.
01:01:03If you hurt her, I'll kill you.
01:01:05You put her back on the phone now.
01:01:07Oh my gosh, what you gonna do?
01:01:09That's some of that karate stuff.
01:01:11Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
01:01:13Put her back on the phone now.
01:01:15Listen, that weep sucker.
01:01:17Stop it, Harry.
01:01:19Has he hurt you?
01:01:20Did he hurt you?
01:01:22No, and I didn't mean to hurt you.
01:01:27What are you saying?
01:01:33Listen, when I beat you in volleyball
01:01:37and Pig Iron dragged your ass up and down my beach academy,
01:01:41I'm gonna take Shannon here back to New York.
01:01:45Or shall it be Barcelona, darling, this time, huh?
01:01:53Ciao, sweetheart.
01:01:55Shannon, Shannon.
01:01:58Come on.
01:02:06Oh!
01:02:25All right, we're here, okay?
01:02:28Just do what we did in practice and we're going to be fine, right?
01:02:31All right, ladies and gentlemen, here we sit.
01:02:34We've got a wonderful game about to commence.
01:02:37We have, of course, the wonderful, great, dynamic, fabulous, superb...
01:02:43They're going to be coming really strong up front.
01:02:45You've got to stay together. You've got to hang tough and apply.
01:02:47Team, what's up?
01:02:49They're going to win it for us. Everybody apply.
01:02:52Give it up. Give it up.
01:02:53Give it up for that Beach Academy. What's up?
01:02:57Okay, girls, let's kick their butts.
01:02:59All right, yeah!
01:03:06We have, like, the really horrible team with big breasts.
01:03:09We've given them that.
01:03:10But aside from that, they have no talent.
01:03:12Let's give it up for their breasts.
01:03:16Kick their butts.
01:03:22And you, don't get any ideas.
01:03:28Okay, okay, all right, don't worry about her.
01:03:30Don't worry about Shan. Let's just focus on the game.
01:03:32Dawn, you've got to be tough up front, all right?
01:03:35All right.
01:03:37You've got to block. Solitaire, remember? Block.
01:03:42All right, let's just play some volleyball, all right?
01:03:58Come on, Beach Academy!
01:04:11Look at that spike. God, that was nasty.
01:04:14That's what it's called, right, honey, a spike?
01:04:28Come on, Ginger.
01:04:32Okay.
01:04:38I'm sorry, I had gas. What do you want from me?
01:04:40Eight burritos for what? I'm sorry.
01:04:58Touchdown!
01:05:00Oh, yeah!
01:05:02It was a touchdown.
01:05:15That's it, that's it.
01:05:17Smash it!
01:05:19That was a good shot, yeah.
01:05:27All right.
01:05:36Stay put.
01:05:50Harry, I need to talk to you.
01:05:52When we first met, I didn't just happen to be walking down the beach
01:05:55when Erica hit that ball out of the game.
01:05:57It was all a set-up to get your uncle to 450 Academy.
01:06:00Yeah, after last night, that part was pretty easy to figure out.
01:06:06Is that a place for the bad ball, Lee?
01:06:08Oh, it's Mr. Alligator Breath.
01:06:16See, now that's what I expect to see.
01:06:18What did we get, 25 points there?
01:06:20Okay, the score now is 357 to 95.
01:06:23No? Oh.
01:06:25Uh, 32.
01:06:2732 to 64.
01:06:2942 to 33.
01:06:33What escapes me is why you went along with it.
01:06:35Was it because of your great love for Johnny?
01:06:38Love had nothing to do with it.
01:06:40I hate that pathetic excuse for a man. Trust me.
01:06:43You really expect trust at this point?
01:06:45Harry, listen.
01:06:47I told you that Johnny set up that Olympic scam.
01:06:49But what I didn't tell you is that my brother is in jail at Railsford
01:06:52and he's gonna be there for the next 10 years if Johnny gives false evidence.
01:06:58Which he's prepared to do, of course,
01:07:00if you don't go along with his little volleyball scam.
01:07:02That's right.
01:07:09Another 50K, Moronski.
01:07:12You got it.
01:07:16That's it, that's it, that's it.
01:07:20Oh, I love it, I love it.
01:07:23What about you two romantically?
01:07:25I mean, did you really have a relationship with him?
01:07:27Well, if you can call one day a relationship,
01:07:29especially one that ended with me swimming back home from the yacht.
01:07:35Yeah, no, no, over the net.
01:07:37Not under the net, over the net.
01:07:39That's very good. No, they're wonderful. They really are.
01:07:41They're the best team I've ever seen.
01:07:50No, straight down.
01:08:05Very nice. No, no, that wasn't good.
01:08:08No, that wasn't on our side, was it?
01:08:10Sorry, that wasn't on our side. We won't take that point.
01:08:14Get out of there.
01:08:16All right, all right, I can feel it.
01:08:18We're going to make a big turnaround now.
01:08:20It's a big chance. All we need is one field goal,
01:08:23and we're there, man.
01:08:25I knew that, I knew that.
01:08:27All we need is one thing over the thing.
01:08:30Harry, screw the fish.
01:08:32I'm not going to let you down.
01:08:38Okay, let's play some ball.
01:08:44No, straight down.
01:08:48That's it, Solitaire, yes!
01:08:50Okay, here we go, Harry.
01:08:55That's what I like to see!
01:08:57Way to go!
01:09:13Way to go!
01:09:32We've got to help each other out. Come on!
01:09:43Go, go, go, go, go!
01:09:49You guys are looking great.
01:09:51You've got to get the doll up front.
01:09:53She's our power.
01:10:00Help! Help!
01:10:05They're getting out, John.
01:10:07What? What?
01:10:10All right, bro, you're the coach now.
01:10:12No, no, no, you're the coach.
01:10:14We're way ahead. Just don't let Jean down, okay?
01:10:17Coach!
01:10:25Take the mic.
01:10:27Wish me luck. I mean it.
01:10:29I need luck. A lot of luck.
01:10:31I can be a man.
01:10:33Okay.
01:10:35All right, Harley.
01:10:40All right.
01:10:50Attention, ladies.
01:10:52There's a new coach in town, so don't fret.
01:10:58Here's the new plan. We're going to do everything differently.
01:11:01From now on, I want a lot of field goals and touchdowns,
01:11:04and you're going to put holes in one.
01:11:07What's that thing you do when you go over the net?
01:11:10Slam dunk.
01:11:12Slam dunk!
01:11:38All right, now listen.
01:11:40Hey, pay attention when I'm talking to you.
01:11:42Hey, is nobody paying attention to me here?
01:11:44How am I supposed to coach if you won't pay attention?
01:11:47You're supposed to catch the ball.
01:11:49Catch the ball when it comes to you.
01:11:51You don't run away from it. What are you, girls?
01:12:02All right, all right, guys, look at me.
01:12:04All right, all right, guys, look at me.
01:12:06Don't look at me. I mean, look at the ball.
01:12:08You've got to look at the ball.
01:12:13Listen, get in there.
01:12:15Feel the ball. Become part of the ball.
01:12:18I want you to be all over the ball.
01:12:23Just follow it all the way with your eyes.
01:12:27You can't miss if you have a big bat in your hand.
01:12:33She loves me. She loves me not.
01:12:36So you see, Shannon is pure as a lamb.
01:12:40You know that Olympic scam?
01:12:42Well, I done it and blame it on her brother.
01:12:45That way, she, pretty little dame,
01:12:49would do anything I say.
01:12:52She, pretty little dame, would do anything I tell her.
01:12:57And now you're going to lose,
01:12:59and I get all of the beach academy and a piece of dessert.
01:13:08There you go. See, that way it's not in your way
01:13:10when you're trying to catch it.
01:13:13Pretend that ball is really bothering you.
01:13:15Just get it out of the way.
01:13:32Oh, I can't believe it!
01:13:34You guys caught it!
01:13:36You caught it!
01:13:38You caught it!
01:13:40Oh, I can't believe it! You guys suck!
01:13:42You don't listen to me at all!
01:13:44I told you to make a field goal at the 10-yard line.
01:14:00You guys aren't going to win.
01:14:02It's in the game!
01:14:04Play some volleyball!
01:14:11Touchdown!
01:14:33That's it.
01:14:41Yeah!
01:15:06The game! The game!
01:15:08What happened?
01:15:09We won!
01:15:10We're going to collect the money!
01:15:24Uncle Gene, there's one thing I don't say often enough.
01:15:27I think you're really great.
01:15:29Harry, there's one thing I don't say often enough.
01:15:31No, Gene, there's nothing you don't say often enough.
01:15:39I guess we all learned a lot from this, huh?
01:15:41I'll tell you what I learned, and that is always do the right thing.
01:15:45Yeah.
01:15:46Well, unless your conscience tells you to do otherwise.
01:15:51I think those are words to live by.
01:15:53Listen, Poofy, you know that boat of yours?
01:15:56You know, the one that goes up and down?
01:15:58Yeah, yeah.
01:15:59You know, the one that goes up and down?
01:16:01Yeah, yeah.
01:16:02You know, the one that goes up and down?
01:16:04Yeah, yeah.
01:16:05Listen, Poofy, you know that boat of yours, you know?
01:16:08I mean, it's all right when you're a bachelor, but not if you two kids, you know...
01:16:12Why don't you take Johnny's boat, huh?
01:16:16That's why you're my favorite uncle now.
01:16:18You know, I just wish there was something we could do for my brother.
01:16:21Oh, I think there is.
01:16:22What?
01:16:23Back on the yacht, I secretly taped Johnny's admission of guilt.
01:16:28That means that Johnny is not only going to the pool house...
01:16:32He's going to the big house, baby!
01:16:34Without a front foot!
01:16:40Uncle Gene, we'll talk to you later, okay?
01:16:41Yeah, all right, yeah.
01:16:43Good, good.
01:16:44Have fun and watch the grass stains.
01:17:04I did all my own money. Johnny said he couldn't lose.
01:17:08Don't worry about it, Pig Iron. I'll get you a little job at the academy.
01:17:11You can wash my boat.
01:17:20Oh, fuck!
01:17:21Dad!
01:17:22Oh, I just cleaned his boat!
01:17:25Honey?
01:17:26Yes?
01:17:27This is to one great vacation. I'm glad I came out here.
01:17:32And of course, save the day and help Beach Academy remain what it is.
01:17:37Now, a little treat for you and me.