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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I've always lived by the rules.
00:00:08Hey, save me one of those?
00:00:11Good morning.
00:00:12Morning.
00:00:13But lately, my current roommate has been making it difficult for me to do so.
00:00:30Whatever happened to the shirts on in the kitchen rule?
00:00:39That's not a real rule.
00:00:41Yeah, it's house rule number 16.
00:00:44No roommate shall hang around the apartment, topless, or bottomless, or both.
00:00:49But those are your rules.
00:00:50No, they're our rules. We agreed to them before you moved in.
00:00:54No, you wrote them down and asked if I agreed. Then I grunted. Not admissible in a court of law.
00:00:59Well, it's admissible in our kitchen. So, shirt on. So, shirt on.
00:01:04Or what?
00:01:05Or, I won't save you any waffles.
00:01:09Why didn't you start with that? Shirt coming right up.
00:01:13Did I seriously just ask him to cover up that six pack?
00:01:18I mean, Dylan has always been objectively hot. And it's not like I don't appreciate looking at him.
00:01:26Dylan and I have been friends for years. And I swear, I've never seen him as anything more than that.
00:01:33Plus, he's a total player. And I know better than to get involved in games.
00:01:40Oh, man!
00:01:42You happy now? This is your fault.
00:01:44Oh, why? Because I made you put on a shirt like a normal person? Please.
00:01:49Don't worry. I get it.
00:01:51You get what?
00:01:52I understand why you have the no shirt on rule. What's so distracting for you otherwise?
00:01:56Oh, looks like we'll be needing a bigger apartment. Your ego needs its own room.
00:02:02You say ego, I say awesomeness. Tomato, tomato.
00:02:05All I know is that it's time for house rule number 22. The cook doesn't clean.
00:02:10Let me just help you out here.
00:02:11Oh, okay. Yeah.
00:02:12Sorry. I'm going to get that. You get this one.
00:02:15You get this one.
00:02:18Okay.
00:02:19All right.
00:02:20Yeah.
00:02:23Let me just help.
00:02:24Sorry.
00:02:25It's okay.
00:02:26I'm going to go take a shower.
00:02:29Okay.
00:02:31Need any help?
00:02:32I know he's joking, but my whole body just blushed.
00:02:35Yeah. No. No.
00:02:37You know, one of these days I'm going to say yes just to freak you out.
00:02:41And on that day, I'll take you up on your offer.
00:02:43That's why I keep asking.
00:02:45What on earth?
00:02:46Is he serious?
00:02:50Yeah, that's funny.
00:02:51That's funny.
00:03:02What happened back there?
00:03:04Was he joking or flirting?
00:03:07Was I?
00:03:09Nope.
00:03:10Nope.
00:03:11Cool it, Emma.
00:03:12Remember the house rule.
00:03:30Just what I needed to calm down.
00:03:35Oh, no.
00:03:36My bathrobe isn't here.
00:03:38A major violation of house rule number eight.
00:03:40Robes, not towels, after showers.
00:03:43What do I do?
00:03:44Okay.
00:03:45I just have to get to my bedroom before Dylan sees me.
00:03:58He must still be in the kitchen washing dishes.
00:04:02Oh!
00:04:04I hate my life.
00:04:25Holy mother of...
00:04:27Holy mother of...
00:04:37I'm sorry. Are you okay?
00:04:38I was just grabbing my robe, you know.
00:04:40House rule number eight.
00:04:41Do you want me to put the waffles in the freezer?
00:04:43No. No. Don't worry about it. I'll do it.
00:04:47I can't believe Dylan just saw me naked.
00:04:50I wonder if he liked it.
00:04:52Wait. Why do I care if he liked it?
00:04:56Oh, God.
00:04:57Who am I kidding?
00:04:58My heart races whenever Dylan walks into a room with or without a shirt.
00:05:09Why is he looking at me like that?
00:05:22Where are the leftover waffles?
00:05:23In the freezer.
00:05:24House rule number 22. Remember?
00:05:26You cooked, so I clean.
00:05:27House rule number 22. Remember?
00:05:29You cooked, so I clean.
00:05:32Well, I never stopped you from cleaning.
00:05:34You just didn't know where the waffles went, so I needed to show you because...
00:05:37Emma.
00:05:38What?
00:05:39I have a question about your house rules.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:43I think it's time we go over some of them together.
00:05:46What's the point in doing that?
00:05:47You ignore most of them anyway.
00:05:49But you don't ignore them.
00:05:50So what are you getting at?
00:05:52House rule number 19.
00:05:55Roommate shall never date?
00:05:57Yeah, that one.
00:05:58I think it's time I had more input on the house rules.
00:06:00And my first action as co-rulemaker will be to delete house rule number 19 from the list.
00:06:06So what are you trying to say, Dylan?
00:06:10I think you know, Emma.
00:06:11Well, rule number 19 is there for a reason.
00:06:14What reason?
00:06:16I mean, if anything were to happen between us, it wouldn't last.
00:06:20And how would we live together after that?
00:06:22Why wouldn't it last?
00:06:23Wait, let me guess.
00:06:24You think I'm a player.
00:06:27Let's just say that ego of yours is well-fed.
00:06:34What if I told you that the reason I go on all these dates was because I'm trying to find someone?
00:06:38Anyone who would compare to the girl I was really into.
00:06:41No one could ever compare to her.
00:06:43What are you saying?
00:06:45Emma, I secretly love your house rules.
00:06:48Not only is it adorable to watch you try to keep me in line,
00:06:52but the rules are just so... you.
00:06:56What, strict and uptight?
00:06:58Thoughtful and clever.
00:07:00And you're funny when you don't even know it.
00:07:03But most important, your house rules makes this apartment... home.
00:07:09All these years, we've been right in front of each other, but the rules have kept us apart.
00:07:14I'd like to propose a new house rule.
00:07:16Yeah? What's that?
00:07:18The secret kiss rule.
00:07:20Roommates are allowed to kiss, just once, to see if their feelings are worth the risk.
00:07:26The risk of what? Abolishing house rule number 19?
00:07:31I'm worried about our friendship.
00:07:33Of course. I am too.
00:07:36But this thing between us feels powerful, Emma.
00:07:39It feels real.
00:07:41So I think...
00:07:42You should try.
00:07:44So I think...
00:07:45You should try.
00:07:51Okay.
00:08:00Thank you for casting your vote.
00:08:02My vote?
00:08:03Yeah. Your vote to abolish house rule number 19.
00:08:07I don't think...
00:08:08Hey, no take backs!
00:08:10No, I'm not taking it back.
00:08:12I'm just saying that my kiss doesn't necessarily count as a vote.
00:08:18This counts as a vote.
00:08:20I guess in the end, it's the rules that brought us together.
00:08:25Dylan, De La Rosa.
00:08:28I vote that we risk it all.
00:08:31For us.
00:08:33Alright then.
00:08:35It's official.
00:08:36New rule.
00:08:38No more house rule number 19.
00:08:44And who am I to argue with the rules?
00:08:51I can't believe you're making me do this.
00:08:54You better believe I'm getting you back good next time.
00:08:56Seeing you dance will be worth it.
00:08:59Get moving!
00:09:02Come on!
00:09:04Woo!
00:09:05Shake that ass!
00:09:21Woohoo! Get it Dylan!
00:09:24You like that?
00:09:26Mmhmm. And I think we should dance together when I get home.
00:09:32Oh yeah?
00:09:34Why?
00:09:36Hey jerk!
00:09:37Get out of the street!
00:09:38You dance like a diva!
00:09:39Stop it!
00:09:40I'm not a diva!
00:09:41I'm not a diva!
00:09:42I'm not a diva!
00:09:43I'm not a diva!
00:09:44I'm not a diva!
00:09:45I'm not a diva!
00:09:46I'm not a diva!
00:09:47I'm not a diva!
00:09:48I'm not a diva!
00:09:49You dance like a diva!
00:09:50Stop or I'll call the cops!
00:09:51Sorry Mrs. Davenport!
00:09:56Okay, that was amazing.
00:09:58If by amazing you mean humiliating.
00:10:00Yes, it was.
00:10:02You asked for a dare, you get a dare.
00:10:07I know I said this already, but uh...
00:10:12Seriously wish I was home right now, with you.
00:10:15Why? So you can yell at me for tricking out of the carton?
00:10:19No, so we can spend Valentine's together.
00:10:22I know baby, we'll be together soon.
00:10:25So, truth or dare?
00:10:29Do you have to ask?
00:10:31Truth.
00:10:33Okay.
00:10:37Do you remember the first time we kissed?
00:10:43Of course.
00:10:45Was that the first time you wanted to kiss me?
00:10:49No.
00:10:51So when? Was it when we first got together?
00:10:54No, not that either.
00:10:59It was during that snowstorm we had a few years back.
00:11:02I was so sick and you had a date with uh...
00:11:08With Jenna Stevens from chemistry.
00:11:11Ah, Jenna.
00:11:13Anyway...
00:11:15You cancelled it just to keep me company.
00:11:18I felt so feverish, but we didn't have a thermometer.
00:11:23And you told me how in your family if someone says they're burning up,
00:11:27you kiss them on the forehead to check.
00:11:30Lips are sensitive.
00:11:32It's better than using the back of your hand on someone's forehead.
00:11:34I told you it was a stupid idea that I could get you sick.
00:11:38But I did it anyway.
00:11:39Yeah, and all I wanted to do was tilt my head back and press my lips to yours.
00:11:48But I was also scared.
00:11:51I was scared too.
00:11:53But I'm glad I thought about the forehead kiss.
00:11:55Even though I ended up getting sick anyway.
00:11:59See? You should have listened to me.
00:12:02Oh, uh, hold on a sec.
00:12:10Oh my gosh!
00:12:14Dylan!
00:12:16This is so sweet!
00:12:18You like them?
00:12:19They're beautiful!
00:12:22What are they?
00:12:23They're flowers. They grow out of the ground.
00:12:25Shut up. You know what I mean.
00:12:28They're called the Queen Emma Lily.
00:12:31That's why they're so beautiful, delicate, unique, sensitive.
00:12:36I told you to shut up.
00:12:38You know what you're doing to me.
00:12:40You know what you're doing to me.
00:12:42I know, and I wish I could help you out with that.
00:12:45I love them.
00:12:47No one's ever bought me flowers before.
00:12:50And what's this?
00:12:52Is this my mysterious gift you were talking about?
00:12:55Uh-uh. That's for later.
00:12:58You're seriously too much.
00:13:01I never knew you were the type of guy to send flowers.
00:13:04Hey, I'm not just a chiseled bod.
00:13:07I'm supposed to be romantic.
00:13:11To whom?
00:13:13To whom? Marsha. That's her name.
00:13:15Marsha?
00:13:18Wait. Marsha Mason?
00:13:21You slept with my co-worker?
00:13:24Haven't we discussed this?
00:13:26No.
00:13:28I introduced you to her at my office party,
00:13:31and you both acted like you didn't know each other.
00:13:34That was so long ago, I don't even remember.
00:13:37So you don't remember if you slept with her?
00:13:40Emma.
00:13:41I dare you to tell me.
00:13:43Did you have sex with Marsha?
00:13:45Emma.
00:13:46I dare you to tell me.
00:13:47Did you have sex with Marsha?
00:13:49We got together way before you and I ever hooked up.
00:13:52Just tell me.
00:13:53Fine. Yes.
00:13:55We did. Once.
00:13:57Well, maybe a few times.
00:13:59But it was all in one night.
00:14:01So, silver lining?
00:14:05How many people do I know that you've slept with?
00:14:07Jenna Stevens?
00:14:08Don't ask me that.
00:14:09Gross! My sister?
00:14:11Come on, no.
00:14:13Mrs. Davenport?
00:14:14Ew! She's old enough to be my grandmother.
00:14:17Well, seems like you're not too discerning.
00:14:19Emma, come on.
00:14:21You know what?
00:14:22Try not to f*** anybody else until I'm ready to talk to you again.
00:14:34♪♪♪
00:15:01I'm sorry, babe.
00:15:03Marsha it was so long ago. I told you back then I had this hole in my heart
00:15:07and I looked everywhere to find something to fill it. It meant nothing.
00:15:13It was painful because I should have been with you.
00:15:17Well now you are.
00:15:20So we're okay?
00:15:22I shouldn't have gotten so mad.
00:15:24No, I shouldn't have brought it up. It was stupid.
00:15:28Yeah, it was pretty stupid.
00:15:30Well, we do have a game to finish.
00:15:33Dylan, I'm not really in the mood.
00:15:35Just play along, please.
00:15:37Okay, fine. Truth or dare?
00:15:41Truth.
00:15:42Wow, really?
00:15:44Really.
00:15:45Okay, hmm.
00:15:50Tell me about one of those lover secrets.
00:15:52Tell me about one of those lover secrets.
00:15:55Okay, here's a secret.
00:15:57I love you.
00:15:59Like, really, really love.
00:16:02Like, I can't breathe kind of love.
00:16:06This Valentine, what I really want to give you is my heart.
00:16:15What? Too sappy?
00:16:17No, it's just...
00:16:21I wanted to tell you so bad, but I was nervous.
00:16:24I love you, Dylan.
00:16:26You know what?
00:16:28This Valentine's Day hasn't been so bad after all.
00:16:30Yeah, even though we're apart, it's been a pretty good day.
00:16:35I miss you.
00:16:36I miss you, babe.
00:16:38Are you ready to open your present?
00:16:40Yes!
00:16:47Ooh!
00:16:50Bubble bath and candle?
00:16:53Ooh, me likes, me likes.
00:16:58You're welcome, beautiful.
00:17:00You feeling dirty?
00:17:02Dirty?
00:17:11Ah, this is exactly what I needed.
00:17:15Happy Valentine's Day, baby.
00:17:17Best Valentine's Day ever.
00:17:20Now, show me something.
00:17:25Emma!
00:17:26Emma, what happened?
00:17:28Look what I found in a drawer in Dylan's room!
00:17:34I never took you for a thong, girl.
00:17:36I'm not! These aren't mine!
00:17:39So why would they be in Dylan's room?
00:17:41Amanda!
00:17:43Okay, um, let's not jump to any conclusions.
00:17:48Why were you looking in his room?
00:17:51I wasn't looking around! I was just doing laundry!
00:17:56You do his laundry?
00:17:58We do each other's laundry, Amanda.
00:18:00We take turns doing stuff around the house.
00:18:03That's what a...
00:18:05That's what a relationship is!
00:18:07I guess that's why I avoid them.
00:18:09Are you sure they're not yours?
00:18:12Amanda, I was at my parents' house all last week.
00:18:15I mean, he clearly had someone over.
00:18:18Someone who wears sexier panties than me!
00:18:22Okay, I said no, jumping to conclusions.
00:18:25And please, never say the word panties again.
00:18:28Amanda, what other explanation could there possibly be?
00:18:31Maybe they're from like an old fling from like a while back.
00:18:36Maybe they're from like an old fling from like a while back.
00:18:40And then he just stuffed them in a drawer.
00:18:44Out of sight, out of mind.
00:18:46That doesn't make sense.
00:18:48Why not just throw them out?
00:18:50Unless...
00:18:52Unless he's still into her!
00:18:54I really don't think so.
00:18:56I mean, he just told you he loved you.
00:18:58That's serious, E.
00:19:00Maybe that was just his guilt talking.
00:19:02Nuh-uh, nuh-uh. I'm not about to let you wallow in this pity party
00:19:05until we have some actual proof that something's up.
00:19:09But how?
00:19:11You said he's gonna be gone a while?
00:19:13I mean, I guess?
00:19:16Then it's time to investigate, girl!
00:19:18There might be some actual evidence in there!
00:19:20You mean, snoop around in his stuff?
00:19:23Some people might call it snooping,
00:19:25but I like to call it searching for the truth.
00:19:43Oh! Ew!
00:19:45Ew!
00:19:49New health rule?
00:19:51Don't be gross.
00:19:53What are you even looking for down there?
00:19:55I mean, it's not like women still write their numbers
00:19:58on like notes in napkins.
00:20:00Call me. XOXO.
00:20:02That's so old school.
00:20:04Just wanna check.
00:20:08But I don't know. There's nothing.
00:20:10Maybe it is just a thong from some old fling.
00:20:12Maybe.
00:20:16But you have separate bathrooms?
00:20:31For someone who's such a neat freak,
00:20:33you're an expert at wrecking shit.
00:20:35It's a strawberry-flavored condom?
00:20:37He's cheating on me with a stripper?!
00:20:39Well, maybe he bought it for you,
00:20:41you know, to spice things up a little.
00:20:43Flavored condoms can be fun.
00:20:45No, no, no! We don't use condoms!
00:20:47I have a pill!
00:20:49This is more evidence, right?!
00:20:51I mean, I guess.
00:20:53But go you with the pill!
00:20:55I have a pill!
00:20:57I have a pill!
00:20:59I have a pill!
00:21:01I have a pill!
00:21:04But go you with the raw dog!
00:21:06He didn't even try to hide it!
00:21:08He just left it in plain sight!
00:21:10It was in his private bathroom cabinet
00:21:12behind his deodorant
00:21:14where anyone could see it.
00:21:20Sorry.
00:21:22What's the paper it was wrapped in?
00:21:24It's a note.
00:21:26Glad you could use my services?
00:21:30Call me when she's away again?
00:21:32XOXO Britney?!
00:21:34And there's a phone number here!
00:21:36Oh, shit!
00:21:38People still actually write notes?!
00:21:40And he kept it?!
00:21:42I'm gonna kill him.
00:21:44Well, you won't have to do it alone.
00:21:46I'm coming over.
00:21:48Amanda, I...
00:21:52Why would he do this?
00:21:54I don't know, Em.
00:21:56But no matter what, you're gonna be okay.
00:21:58I don't know.
00:22:00I have to call Dylan
00:22:02and tell him about what I found.
00:22:06You want me to come over?
00:22:08I was serious, you know.
00:22:10Maybe, yeah.
00:22:12If talking to Dylan goes south,
00:22:14I'm gonna need a girl's night.
00:22:16And someone to help me
00:22:18throw all this shit out into the street.
00:22:20Is that part of the house rules?
00:22:22Cheaters will be forcibly removed
00:22:24from the premises.
00:22:26We're gonna add it.
00:22:28Well,
00:22:30just let me know.
00:22:32I'm here for you.
00:22:34And if he is cheating,
00:22:36screw him!
00:22:38Or don't.
00:22:40Or screw him good one last time
00:22:42and then kick him to the curb.
00:22:44He is really hot.
00:22:46I will. Or I won't.
00:22:48Bye.
00:22:50Bye, girl. Good luck.
00:22:58Hey, babe.
00:23:00So I went ahead and got us tacos.
00:23:04I know it's not Tuesday, but...
00:23:08Hey.
00:23:10What's wrong?
00:23:12Look, I know my room's a mess.
00:23:14Dylan? I found a thong.
00:23:16Guess what? I booked that commercial!
00:23:18Great.
00:23:20I found a thong.
00:23:22So what do you say you and I
00:23:24celebrate tonight?
00:23:27Yo, yo, yo, yo!
00:23:29Yo, are you serious right now, bro?
00:23:31Are you serious?
00:23:33I'm sorry, man.
00:23:35I didn't know.
00:23:37Why don't you take your eyes out of your ass so you can see where you're going next time, man?
00:23:39I'm so sorry.
00:23:41Yeah, you sorry!
00:23:43What am I supposed to do now?
00:23:45You just ruined my pies!
00:23:47Black pies matter, bro!
00:23:49What am I gonna do now?
00:23:51What am I gonna do now?
00:23:53I don't know, but whatever you need, I'll pay for it.
00:23:55No, no, no, no!
00:23:57Don't touch my slices, man!
00:23:59Go somewhere, do your pilates, do what you do.
00:24:01What do you need? You want me to pay for anything?
00:24:03No! Just go, man.
00:24:05Just go look pretty somewhere else, man.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:09Just go ahead, Abercrombie and Fitch.
00:24:11That was quick!
00:24:13Everything okay?
00:24:15No. I didn't even get it out.
00:24:17Why?
00:24:19Just...
00:24:21Stuff happened, okay?
00:24:23Okay.
00:24:25I'm sorry, Amanda.
00:24:27It's not you.
00:24:29It's just...
00:24:31I don't ever want to see him again.
00:24:33Well, you won't have to.
00:24:35I'm gonna be leaving my place soon.
00:24:37He won't come near you or that apartment.
00:24:39Thanks, A.
00:24:41I know you really love him.
00:24:43I do. I really thought he was different.
00:24:45We all did.
00:24:47He got us all fooled.
00:24:49But I'm about to leave soon.
00:24:51Don't do anything stupid, okay?
00:24:53Don't do anything stupid, okay?
00:25:11Hi! Are you the casting director?
00:25:13No.
00:25:15I'm Emma, Dylan's girlfriend.
00:25:17Well, soon to be ex-girlfriend.
00:25:20Who's Dylan?
00:25:26Oh.
00:25:28Right. That Dylan.
00:25:30Ex?
00:25:32Huh?
00:25:34So sorry to hear you guys broke up.
00:25:36Oh, don't give me that bullshit.
00:25:38You left your disgusting thong here.
00:25:40And a note!
00:25:42I wanted Dylan to have something
00:25:44to remember me by.
00:25:46I can't believe this.
00:25:48Can you blame me?
00:25:50Dylan's hot.
00:25:52Well, I thought he was more than just hot.
00:25:54I thought he was a really great guy.
00:25:56And I thought what we had was special.
00:25:58I can't believe he just
00:26:00threw it all away to cheat.
00:26:02With you.
00:26:04Wait. You think he cheated?
00:26:06Uh, yeah.
00:26:08The thong.
00:26:10The note.
00:26:12The condom ready to go.
00:26:14Plus, you just admitted it.
00:26:16No.
00:26:18I admit I left my panties.
00:26:20Don't say panties.
00:26:22And your strawberry-flavored condom.
00:26:24And the strawberry-flavored condom.
00:26:26It was my last one.
00:26:28I was really trying to impress him.
00:26:30So you left a condom here
00:26:32but you didn't f*** my boyfriend?
00:26:34No.
00:26:36Unfortunately.
00:26:38So why'd you leave a condom?
00:26:40So he would know I was DTF.
00:26:42But you know,
00:26:44safe about it.
00:26:46That's probably the sluttiest thing
00:26:48I've ever heard.
00:26:50What are you, like an escort or something?
00:26:52Excuse me?
00:26:54No, I'm not. Who the hell do you think you are?
00:26:56Well,
00:26:58I don't get it. Your note says
00:27:00glad you can use my services.
00:27:02Look, chill out.
00:27:04I run a cleaning service.
00:27:06Dylan hired me to clean your apartment
00:27:08while you were away because
00:27:10you know, he's kind of lazy and gross.
00:27:13He was trying
00:27:15to impress you.
00:27:17But you were gone and he was cute
00:27:19so I made my move.
00:27:21He was cute so I made my move.
00:27:23But he turned me down.
00:27:25Which, I know. Shocker.
00:27:27I'm not used to getting rejected.
00:27:29So,
00:27:31the thong?
00:27:33I figured he might change his mind and give me a call
00:27:35if he saw what he was missing.
00:27:37I did your laundry too.
00:27:39Even though he said you would just do it again
00:27:41because you're like OCD or something.
00:27:43You know, you have a lot
00:27:45of granny panties.
00:27:47There are other underwear. You know, like cheeky
00:27:49or thong or...
00:27:51Never ask for your opinion?
00:27:53So, he never called you?
00:27:55He did not.
00:27:57And you swear
00:27:59you're telling me the truth?
00:28:01Ugh, yes. In fact,
00:28:03all he could talk about was how much he missed you
00:28:05and your stupid house rules.
00:28:07It was actually pretty annoying.
00:28:09Now, if we're done here,
00:28:11I'm waiting on a vid callback for a Gosling movie
00:28:13so I'm gonna bounce.
00:28:15But if you do break up with Dylan,
00:28:17tell him to call me.
00:28:27Ugh.
00:28:33Sorry, babe. That was a mess.
00:28:35I think we should probably order in
00:28:37tonight and do some laundry.
00:28:39My shirt is pretty much ruined.
00:28:43Who says you need a shirt?
00:28:45Well, what a lady wants, a lady gets.
00:28:47Oh, and what were you saying about a thong?
00:28:49Oh.
00:28:51Um.
00:28:53I was just thinking about wearing one
00:28:55for you.
00:28:57I thought you might be tired of granny panties.
00:28:59Frisky.
00:29:01Who says you need
00:29:03any underwear at all?
00:29:05What? A man can dream, can't he?
00:29:07Maybe I'll get lucky?
00:29:09With you, every day is lucky.
00:29:11Aw, babe.
00:29:13You must be having a nice day.
00:29:15Yep. It's
00:29:17been great.
00:29:19Well, I'm almost home, so your disability
00:29:21could even better.
00:29:25What's wrong?
00:29:29Why is Amanda
00:29:31in front of our building with a baseball bat?
00:29:35Oh, uh.
00:29:37You should run.
00:29:39Dylan.
00:29:41Yeah, you should get out of there.
00:29:43I just have a couple questions for you, you know.
00:29:45Come here. Let's have a chat, Dylan.
00:29:47Dylan, where are you going?
00:29:49Dylan, I don't have time for you, sir.
00:29:51Not with my best friend. Dogs and cheating.
00:29:53Are you kidding me?
00:29:57Okay, so.
00:29:59What do you think?
00:30:01No. That is not appropriate
00:30:04for a job interview.
00:30:06What if I wore
00:30:08a cardigan with it?
00:30:10Man.
00:30:12You shot down
00:30:14every outfit I own.
00:30:16I'm just being honest with you.
00:30:18Maybe too honest.
00:30:20What's that supposed to mean?
00:30:22Ever since I applied for this job, you've been
00:30:24trashing it. I'm just being real with you.
00:30:26Babe.
00:30:28Assistant to the CEO
00:30:30of Vanguard Models?
00:30:32That's huge. And you're not being supportive.
00:30:34Me telling you the truth
00:30:36is being supportive.
00:30:38If you hated Vanguard so much, why did you work for them?
00:30:40It was a good gig.
00:30:42And they treated the talent, me,
00:30:44like royalty.
00:30:46But they treated the staff like shit.
00:30:48I don't want you lumped in with everyone else.
00:30:50Oh, so I'm everyone else.
00:30:52My job isn't as
00:30:54important because I'm not in front of the camera
00:30:56like one of your model friends?
00:30:58That is not what I meant.
00:31:00Uh-huh. Sure.
00:31:04What about this one?
00:31:08Last time I wore this,
00:31:10you said I look stunning.
00:31:12Yeah, but
00:31:14it's just too...
00:31:16Professional? Flattering?
00:31:18Perfectly appropriate for an interview?
00:31:20Look, if you don't want my opinion,
00:31:22don't ask for it.
00:31:24Oh. I know what this is about.
00:31:26Oh, yeah? What's that?
00:31:28You're jealous
00:31:30of Chris Monroe.
00:31:32I am not.
00:31:34He was voted one of Style Magazine's
00:31:36most eligible bachelors.
00:31:38Two, his modeling company
00:31:40is one of the most followed accounts on Insta.
00:31:42He's one of the youngest,
00:31:44richest CEOs in the country.
00:31:46And, if I get hired,
00:31:48I'm going to be spending
00:31:50all day, every day
00:31:52with him.
00:31:54So, yeah, I'd say you're probably pretty jealous.
00:31:56That guy's a class-A douche-nozzle.
00:31:58A what?
00:32:00I'm secure in our relationship.
00:32:02Never worry about you falling for that guy.
00:32:04So then what's your issue?
00:32:06So then what's your issue?
00:32:08My issue
00:32:10is that you're not chasing your dreams.
00:32:12I want you to be happy.
00:32:14No one lands their dream job in their twenties.
00:32:16I need experience first.
00:32:18You have tons of experience.
00:32:20We met on set, remember?
00:32:22You were interning for that ad agency.
00:32:24You were modeling that dumb speedo.
00:32:26More like super hot speedo.
00:32:28And I kept catching you
00:32:30sneaking off to the craft services table.
00:32:32My point is, you have tons of experience.
00:32:34You just need to put yourself out there.
00:32:36When we first met,
00:32:38you told me
00:32:40you wanted to start your own agency.
00:32:42I still do.
00:32:44Okay, so what's holding you back?
00:32:46It's not that easy.
00:32:48Of course it is.
00:32:50You're smart, well-connected,
00:32:52and you have an incredibly gorgeous boyfriend cheering you on.
00:32:56What are you so scared of?
00:32:58Okay.
00:33:00What about this one?
00:33:02Still no.
00:33:04Are you seriously policing my clothes right now?
00:33:06I can look out for myself.
00:33:08Thanks.
00:33:10I know you can.
00:33:12But do you really want to work for someone like that?
00:33:14Seriously.
00:33:16Ask him why his assistant left.
00:33:18It's a tough industry.
00:33:20Listen, I can be home in 20 minutes.
00:33:22Skip the interview,
00:33:24and we'll come up with plans for you to start your own agency.
00:33:26Will you just stop?
00:33:28Please?
00:33:30Emma, I know you're scared.
00:33:32Dylan, you don't know anything.
00:33:34You don't know what it's like.
00:33:36All you do is just stand in front of the camera
00:33:38and look hot.
00:33:40Well, some of us have to actually work for a living.
00:33:42I gotta go.
00:33:44I would say wish me luck,
00:33:46but I know you wouldn't mean it.
00:33:48Emma.
00:33:50I gotta go.
00:34:00I take it you're Emma.
00:34:02Chris Monroe.
00:34:04Hi, Chris.
00:34:06It's great to see you, Emma.
00:34:08Is now still a good time to chat?
00:34:10Definitely.
00:34:12I've been looking forward to this all week.
00:34:14All right, great.
00:34:16So, I was impressed with your resume.
00:34:18Looks like you've worked for almost
00:34:20every major agency in the city.
00:34:22Yes, I've seen it all.
00:34:24The good and the bad.
00:34:28Well, let's focus on the good, shall we?
00:34:30Why don't you start by telling me
00:34:32about your most memorable experience
00:34:34in the industry?
00:34:36Well, as you saw on my resume,
00:34:38I used to work for Perception.
00:34:42Last year, we booked a major holiday shoot.
00:34:44And the client
00:34:46wanted to go for your typical
00:34:48aesthetic, really tall, thin women
00:34:50and lean, muscular men.
00:34:52But I suggested
00:34:54we take a different approach.
00:34:56I wanted to go for
00:34:58a more diverse array of models.
00:35:00You know,
00:35:02really push for representation.
00:35:04It was something that Perception
00:35:06had never done before.
00:35:08And, well, they went for it.
00:35:10It was a super
00:35:12super successful campaign.
00:35:14And it shows that you can be inclusive
00:35:16and still be profitable.
00:35:20Well, I'll tell you what, Emma.
00:35:22I like your spirit.
00:35:24Wow, thank you.
00:35:26That means so much coming from you.
00:35:28Vanguard is so impressive.
00:35:30I agree.
00:35:32I'd even say we're the best.
00:35:34Well,
00:35:36there's no such thing.
00:35:38There's always room
00:35:40for improvement.
00:35:42Top companies can always strive
00:35:44to be better, even Vanguard.
00:35:46Oh?
00:35:48And, um, what would you do
00:35:50better?
00:35:52Well,
00:35:54I did notice that there's not a whole
00:35:56lot of diversity.
00:35:58Wow, you really like that word, huh?
00:36:00Diversity.
00:36:02Um,
00:36:04I noticed that there's not a whole lot of it
00:36:06on your social media in particular.
00:36:08Think of all the work you could do with
00:36:10plus-size models and
00:36:12and models of
00:36:14different gender identities and
00:36:16Let me stop you right there, Emma.
00:36:18Vanguard is the best
00:36:20because we stick with what works.
00:36:22Conventional models, conventional looks.
00:36:24You have the
00:36:26opportunity to change the world
00:36:28with your platform.
00:36:30Right, we're not trying to change the world, we're trying to make money.
00:36:32And we're pretty darn good at it.
00:36:34Plus, we donate plenty of that money to charities
00:36:36so the SJWs don't
00:36:38cancel us on social media.
00:36:40I'm not talking about charity.
00:36:42I'm talking about
00:36:44making a systemic
00:36:46difference. You know,
00:36:48shifting the paradigm.
00:36:50So we're clear. As my assistant,
00:36:52it won't be your job to make a systemic
00:36:54difference. It'll be your job to
00:36:56keep me happy.
00:36:58You book my flights, you keep me on schedule.
00:37:00Accompany me to social events.
00:37:02I understand.
00:37:04Alright, good.
00:37:06Now, just one last thing. Could you stand up
00:37:08for me?
00:37:10What?
00:37:12We have a certain standard here at Vanguard.
00:37:14My assistant needs to
00:37:16have the whole package.
00:37:18And so far, I mean, it looks like you do.
00:37:20I need to get a better sense of your
00:37:22your assets.
00:37:28Okay, look, let's not
00:37:30beat around the bush here. You're an incredibly
00:37:32attractive woman. I'm a pretty
00:37:34good-looking guy myself.
00:37:36We'll be working very closely together and I just want to make
00:37:38sure that, you know... You know what?
00:37:40I'm no longer interested
00:37:42in this position, or any position
00:37:44with you for that matter.
00:37:46Excuse me?
00:37:48You know what? F*** you.
00:37:50Excuse me?
00:37:52You know what? F*** you.
00:38:00Hey, babe. That was quick.
00:38:02Everything go okay?
00:38:04I mean, you're like beyond qualified
00:38:06for the job.
00:38:08I hung up on him.
00:38:10You did what?
00:38:12I hung up on Chris Monroe.
00:38:14You were right.
00:38:16That guy was such an
00:38:18a**hole.
00:38:20You know what?
00:38:22You know what?
00:38:24You know what?
00:38:26You know what?
00:38:28You were right. That guy was such a
00:38:30what'd you call him?
00:38:32A douche nozzle?
00:38:34Right. That.
00:38:36He completely s**t all over
00:38:38my ideas for inclusivity
00:38:40and then
00:38:42he was such a creep.
00:38:44He told me to stand up so he could check out my
00:38:46assets.
00:38:48I'm gonna kick his a**.
00:38:50No need. I already hung up on him.
00:38:52Oh my God.
00:38:54I hung up on him.
00:38:56Oh my God.
00:38:58I hung up on Chris Monroe.
00:39:00He can end my career.
00:39:02I can't believe I did that. That was so stupid.
00:39:04Oh my God.
00:39:06I hung up on Chris Monroe.
00:39:08He can end my career.
00:39:10I can't believe I did that. That was so stupid.
00:39:12I'm so freaking proud of you, babe.
00:39:14What?
00:39:16You stood up for what you believe in.
00:39:18You put that a**hole in his place.
00:39:20Man, I wish I could have seen the look on his face
00:39:22when you hung up on him.
00:39:24I'm pretty sure it's never happened to him before.
00:39:26He was like...
00:39:30Oh man.
00:39:32Maybe I should have been more
00:39:34professional about it.
00:39:36You know what? No.
00:39:38No regrets.
00:39:40I could never work for a douche nozzle like that.
00:39:42There you go. That's my girl.
00:39:46I guess you want to say I told you so.
00:39:48For what?
00:39:50You did nothing wrong.
00:39:52A**hole.
00:39:54You want to know a secret?
00:39:56I may have been a teeny tiny bit jealous.
00:39:58Of Chris Monroe?
00:40:00Have you seen that man
00:40:02with his shirt off?
00:40:04I don't need to see pictures.
00:40:06I have my own eye candy at home.
00:40:08Eye candy, huh?
00:40:10Okay, okay.
00:40:12Don't let it get to your head.
00:40:14Too late.
00:40:16Speaking of candy,
00:40:18what if we skip dinner and go straight to dessert?
00:40:20Another chance for you to see a model
00:40:22eat way too many donuts.
00:40:26Or...
00:40:28I can brainstorm some ideas.
00:40:30For dessert?
00:40:32For my modeling agency.
00:40:34You're right.
00:40:36I think it's time that I start chasing my dreams.
00:40:38Now I've never been more
00:40:40attracted to you.
00:40:42I love you, Dylan.
00:40:46I love you, Emma.
00:40:48Action.
00:40:50Don't take off that dress just yet.
00:40:58Come on, let's see it.
00:41:00Here it goes.
00:41:04Dylan's going to have a heart attack.
00:41:06Good thing he does a lot of cardio.
00:41:08It's a surprise for his six month anniversary.
00:41:10When we were just friends
00:41:12and his dates would come over,
00:41:14they'd go all out.
00:41:16He would put up in a trench coat.
00:41:18Stop obsessing over his past.
00:41:20I know.
00:41:22It's just hard for me not to compare myself.
00:41:24Dylan has been with
00:41:26a lot of women.
00:41:28Hot and
00:41:30sexy.
00:41:32Adventurous women.
00:41:34I want to be hot, sexy, and adventurous too.
00:41:36You are.
00:41:38Well, in your own way.
00:41:40And he's going to love it. Trust me.
00:41:42What's up?
00:41:44Dylan just texted
00:41:46and said he has to work late.
00:41:48Damn, bummer.
00:41:50I wonder if he even remembers it's our anniversary.
00:41:52Ugh, this sucks.
00:41:54I had such big plans for us tonight.
00:41:56Why don't you video chat him
00:41:58and show him what he's missing?
00:42:00Wait.
00:42:02You really think I should?
00:42:04Once he gets a glimpse of that outfit,
00:42:06he's not going to be able to get any work done.
00:42:08And that's exactly
00:42:10what a hot, sexy,
00:42:12adventurous girlfriend would do.
00:42:14Damn right it is.
00:42:16But are you sure I look okay?
00:42:18Like, do I look tempting?
00:42:20Yes. Oh my god, yes.
00:42:22Yes, you do.
00:42:24More tempting than trench coat girl?
00:42:26Forget trench coat girl.
00:42:28Now go.
00:42:30Seduce your man.
00:42:40Come here guys, come here.
00:42:42Perfect.
00:42:44Awesome. Yes.
00:42:46I want tense and beautiful.
00:42:48Love it. Beautiful.
00:42:50Take four.
00:42:52Love it.
00:42:58This is great.
00:43:00This is what we want. Right here.
00:43:02Don't change.
00:43:10Hi, sexy.
00:43:12Hey.
00:43:14Uh, hey.
00:43:16What's wrong?
00:43:18Sorry, babe. I was just expecting a call
00:43:20from someone else.
00:43:22Oh.
00:43:24Still here, just handling
00:43:26payroll paperwork.
00:43:28Paperwork? You're a model.
00:43:30I still gotta get paid, babe.
00:43:32Hopefully I can get out of here soon.
00:43:34I got things to do.
00:43:36I know something you can do.
00:43:38Me?
00:43:40Like, do me?
00:43:42As in like...
00:43:44Never mind.
00:43:46It sounded funny in my head.
00:43:48Oh. Okay.
00:43:50Well, I have something special
00:43:52for us tonight. You want a little preview?
00:43:58I'm, um, very much
00:44:00looking forward to spending some
00:44:02quality time tonight with
00:44:04you.
00:44:06What's the costume
00:44:08for? You going to a comic book
00:44:10convention? It's not a costume.
00:44:12It's lingerie.
00:44:14Oh. It's
00:44:16nice.
00:44:18Nice.
00:44:22Really nice?
00:44:24You know what? Forget it.
00:44:26But you hate lingerie.
00:44:28What'd you call that thong we saw at the store?
00:44:30Butt floss. Yeah.
00:44:32You said you didn't need floss up your butt
00:44:34to feel sexy.
00:44:36Well, I don't, but I don't know.
00:44:38I just thought it'd be fun, you know,
00:44:40to try something different.
00:44:42Well, it definitely is different.
00:44:44Especially for you.
00:44:46Hey, listen, babe.
00:44:48I have to finish this and get out of here.
00:44:50Okay, fine. Go. Bye.
00:44:52Bye.
00:44:54Yeah, good job. Thank you.
00:44:56Looking really good, people.
00:45:00That was a quickie.
00:45:02What happened?
00:45:04Pretty much ignored me and then
00:45:06laughed at me. What?
00:45:08He called my outfit a costume?
00:45:10I'm pretty sure he insinuated
00:45:12I was a comic book nerd.
00:45:14That shows what he knows. You're actually a teen lit nerd.
00:45:16I'm so bad at this.
00:45:18Stop.
00:45:20You're just as hot,
00:45:22sexy, and whatever else is
00:45:24all those other girls. So you know what you're
00:45:26going to do? Raid the fridge and draw
00:45:28my feelings in Ben and Jerry's? You're going to
00:45:30prove it. And when Dylan comes home
00:45:32and sees you waiting all dolled up,
00:45:34I really get his attention.
00:45:36I really get his attention. How?
00:45:38What would hot,
00:45:40sexy, and adventurous
00:45:42Emma do?
00:45:54Okay.
00:45:56I've always
00:45:58wanted to try these.
00:46:00I'm impressed. Should I
00:46:02keep the leopard print on
00:46:04or take it off and go for the
00:46:06cold, hard steel?
00:46:08The real question here is
00:46:10where are you going to hide the key
00:46:12on your body so we can find it?
00:46:14That's the beautiful thing
00:46:16about these handcuffs.
00:46:18They are breakaway.
00:46:20So when it gets all
00:46:22hot and steamy, all I
00:46:24have to do is free myself
00:46:26and jump Dylan's
00:46:28bones. I think I like
00:46:30the dirty you.
00:46:32Never felt sexier.
00:46:40Too much?
00:46:42Maybe just a little too much.
00:46:56Hey, stud.
00:46:58On your way home yet?
00:47:00Sorry, babe. I'm just getting out of the studio right now.
00:47:02It took longer than I thought.
00:47:04Well, hurry home.
00:47:06That surprise I have for you
00:47:08is all warmed up.
00:47:10That's great, babe. I need to make one stop.
00:47:12It's important.
00:47:14Oh? So is that
00:47:16a surprise?
00:47:18Yeah.
00:47:20I'm going to go get my
00:47:22coffee.
00:47:24Oh?
00:47:26So is this.
00:47:28Oh yeah, what's that?
00:47:30Can't tell you that yet.
00:47:32It's under
00:47:34lock
00:47:38and key.
00:47:42Handcuffs? Really?
00:47:44What's gotten into you, Emma?
00:47:46You're not acting like yourself.
00:47:48So what? You just don't think I'm hot?
00:47:50No, I'm...
00:47:52Or adventurous?
00:47:54What?
00:47:56You know what? Fine!
00:47:58This is the last time I ever try to impress you.
00:48:00Why don't you just get back together with Trenchcoat Girl?
00:48:02Who?
00:48:04I'm done.
00:48:06What?
00:48:08I'm done.
00:48:10What? Emma?
00:48:22Oh.
00:48:28Okay.
00:48:34Shit.
00:48:44I hate my life.
00:48:52Look,
00:48:54Emma needs you to come home.
00:48:56She handcuffed herself to the bedpost
00:48:58and got stuck.
00:49:00Um, okay. And why are you telling me this
00:49:02and not her?
00:49:04Because she's not talking to you.
00:49:06Um, okay. And why are you telling me this and not her?
00:49:08Because she's not talking to you.
00:49:10Seriously?
00:49:12Yeah. I mean,
00:49:14you made her feel really crappy today.
00:49:16I mean, first, you forget your six-month anniversary.
00:49:18Wait, hold up.
00:49:20You know, I know a six-month anniversary
00:49:22may seem stupid, but it's Emma
00:49:24we're talking about here.
00:49:26I mean, all she wants is to be wanted by you.
00:49:28I mean, she went and bought
00:49:30a corset, stockings,
00:49:32a garter, and you didn't even notice.
00:49:34She even got some handcuffs
00:49:36to spice things up
00:49:38in the bedroom a little bit.
00:49:40Why would Emma think she needs to spice things up?
00:49:42Because she wants to be just as hot,
00:49:44sexy, and adventurous as all your other exes.
00:49:46I mean, her words, not mine.
00:49:48That's ridiculous.
00:49:50She means more to me than all the other girls combined.
00:49:52Then show her that.
00:49:54I'm trying.
00:50:10Did you tell Dylan to hurry up?
00:50:12Because these handcuffs
00:50:14are super uncomfortable
00:50:16and this corset
00:50:18is super tight.
00:50:20Why don't you tell him yourself?
00:50:22Did you tell Dylan to hurry up?
00:50:24Because these handcuffs
00:50:26are super uncomfortable
00:50:28and this corset is
00:50:30super tight.
00:50:32Why don't you tell him yourself?
00:50:34Told you, I'm not...
00:50:36Incredibly sexy?
00:50:38The hottest girlfriend around?
00:50:40More than I could ever deserve?
00:50:42Look,
00:50:44I know you don't want to talk to me,
00:50:46but I just want to say I'm sorry.
00:50:48I'm sorry for being distracted.
00:50:50And I'm sorry for being the dumbest boyfriend on earth.
00:50:52I don't deserve you.
00:50:54But I'm not sorry for forgetting
00:50:56your anniversary.
00:50:58Because I didn't.
00:51:02Dylan's house rules for Emma?
00:51:04I'm not an artist,
00:51:06but that's why it took me so long.
00:51:08Read the first rule.
00:51:10Always be yourself
00:51:12because the way you are is perfect.
00:51:14Aw, I can't believe you made this.
00:51:16That's not all.
00:51:18I was so distracted because I was worried
00:51:20I wouldn't get out of the photo shoot in time
00:51:22in order for me to pick up this little anniversary gift
00:51:24I got a few weeks ago.
00:51:26In order for me to pick up this little anniversary gift
00:51:28I got a few weeks ago.
00:51:32Looks like you already got a new bracelet.
00:51:34Emma,
00:51:36I love you because you're you.
00:51:38I don't want any other girls.
00:51:40And I don't care if you wear a trench coat
00:51:42or handcuff yourself to a bed.
00:51:44Actually,
00:51:46I prefer if you didn't.
00:51:48You could hurt yourself.
00:51:50Yeah, because I'm klutzy, awkward, and silly.
00:51:52Sure, but you're also hot.
00:51:54And can you show me what you're wearing a little better?
00:51:56You're so beautiful.
00:51:58Emma, if you want to be more adventurous,
00:52:00I'm totally into it.
00:52:02But only if it's because it's what you want to do.
00:52:04Yeah,
00:52:06it is.
00:52:08Good.
00:52:10No more comparing yourself to old girlfriends.
00:52:12This is the first six months of our entire lives
00:52:14and I can't wait to spend my future with you.
00:52:16Me too.
00:52:18You're amazing.
00:52:20I love you.
00:52:22I love you too.
00:52:24You're amazing.
00:52:26We're amazing.
00:52:28Together.
00:52:30Oh.
00:52:32Okay, well,
00:52:34first things first, get your butt home
00:52:36and get me out of these handcuffs.
00:52:38I have to pee.
00:52:42How's the party prep going?
00:52:44Good, I think.
00:52:46Nachos are in the oven, everything's decorated.
00:52:48Dylan's been working so hard lately
00:52:50and I just wanted him to
00:52:52let loose and really enjoy his birthday.
00:52:54Stop worrying and go put some clothes on.
00:52:56Well, that's actually why
00:52:58I called you. Dylan loves when I wear this
00:53:00dress I got in Cabo,
00:53:02but I just feel so bloated.
00:53:04Can you let me know if it looks okay?
00:53:06A fashion show?
00:53:08I'm in.
00:53:14What do you think?
00:53:16You look amazing as usual.
00:53:18Are you sure?
00:53:20I don't know, it just feels tight.
00:53:22Are you sure you want to wear white?
00:53:24Why wouldn't I?
00:53:26Because you have your period?
00:53:28Okay, one, it's creepy
00:53:30that you know that.
00:53:32I'm your best friend. It's my job
00:53:34to keep track of your cycle.
00:53:36And two, you're wrong.
00:53:38I don't have my period.
00:53:40Well, you should. I mean, it's the fifth
00:53:42and you get your period on the third of every month,
00:53:44just like me.
00:53:46Oh my god.
00:53:48You're right.
00:53:50Are you okay?
00:53:52I'm late.
00:53:54I'm late.
00:53:56I'm like
00:53:58days late.
00:54:00Okay, okay, okay. Well, let's not
00:54:02freak out here.
00:54:04This isn't normal for me.
00:54:06Oh my god.
00:54:08I'm...
00:54:10No, don't say it.
00:54:12I'm pregnant!
00:54:14What am I gonna do?
00:54:16I can't have a baby.
00:54:18I don't know the first thing about raising a kid.
00:54:20Oh god.
00:54:22That's why the dress is tight.
00:54:24It's not bloat. It's baby!
00:54:26Emma Renee Arnaz.
00:54:30You wouldn't have a baby bump already.
00:54:32Now stop acting crazy
00:54:34and breathe.
00:54:36Good.
00:54:38Now,
00:54:40are you having any other symptoms?
00:54:42No. I mean,
00:54:44I'm kinda crampy and
00:54:46I'm super on edge.
00:54:48But that doesn't really tell us anything.
00:54:50It tells us that I'm pregnant!
00:54:52Could be pregnant.
00:54:54Oh my god, and what am I gonna tell
00:54:56Dylan? Ha ha ha!
00:54:58Happy birthday! You're gonna be a dad!
00:55:00We always wanted to be a dad, you know?
00:55:02We both want a family.
00:55:04Someday. Not now!
00:55:06Not now! We're in our 20s.
00:55:08We're supposed to let loose
00:55:10and have fun and
00:55:12but he's been so stressed lately
00:55:14and now I'm gonna ruin his birthday
00:55:16and
00:55:18oh my god, not just his birthday
00:55:20his life!
00:55:24I mean, you could be worrying over nothing.
00:55:26You need to take a test.
00:55:28Oh no! No no no no!
00:55:30What if someone sees me at the drugstore?
00:55:32Then the rumor mill will turn
00:55:34and then they'll spread the news
00:55:36all over town and then everyone will know
00:55:38that I'm pregnant and then they'll be ashamed
00:55:40and disowned!
00:55:42Emma, you live in New York City, not
00:55:44Walnut Grove.
00:55:46Go to the store.
00:55:48And if you're so worried about someone
00:55:50seeing you, then go to one that's further away.
00:55:52No, I don't have the time.
00:55:54I need to finish baking the cake
00:55:56and hanging the decorations
00:55:58and... This is more important.
00:56:00But... Dylan will understand.
00:56:04Okay.
00:56:06I'll call you when I get the test.
00:56:08Nah.
00:56:14How's your birthday going?
00:56:16So far so good, babe.
00:56:18What are you doing out and about?
00:56:20Oh, just, uh,
00:56:22working on a surprise.
00:56:24I love surprises.
00:56:26You might not love this one.
00:56:28What's in the bag? Let me guess.
00:56:30House rule number 32.
00:56:32No Cheeto dust in the apartment.
00:56:34You're surprising me by letting me break the rules for my birthday.
00:56:36Nope, I'm surprising you with a baby.
00:56:38What?
00:56:40I mean,
00:56:42a food baby
00:56:44with how delicious all the food
00:56:46at your party's gonna be.
00:56:48Oh, sweet! Can't wait.
00:56:50So, what do you want to name our food baby?
00:56:52Dylan Jr.? We are not
00:56:54naming our baby Dylan Jr.
00:56:56You okay?
00:56:58You look a little... What?
00:57:00Bloated? Testy?
00:57:02Fat? Stressed?
00:57:04Sorry.
00:57:06Don't be sorry, babe.
00:57:08I don't want you to kill yourself over this party.
00:57:10I want us all to relax.
00:57:12Which is why I'm heading to the liquor store
00:57:14on my lunch break to pick up some libations
00:57:16for this evening.
00:57:18So, what would it be? Lady's choice.
00:57:20Uh, I choose
00:57:22water.
00:57:24What?
00:57:26Yeah, I've just been feeling really, like,
00:57:28dehydrated lately.
00:57:30I think I'll just
00:57:32get all H2O.
00:57:34Come on, babe. It's my birthday.
00:57:36We're only young once.
00:57:38Before you know it, we'll be getting older,
00:57:40starting a family.
00:57:42Uh, I have to go, Dylan.
00:57:44Emma, why? Did I say something wrong?
00:57:46No.
00:57:48I just meant someday.
00:57:50Like, we're not ready for kids yet.
00:57:52Uh, you know what?
00:57:54You're breaking up.
00:57:56I have to go. I'll talk to you later.
00:57:58Emma, can you hear me?
00:58:00Bye! Bye, Dylan.
00:58:02Bye!
00:58:30I can't do this.
00:58:42Sure you can.
00:58:44Imagine a waterfall
00:58:46flowing from a deep lagoon.
00:58:48No. I mean,
00:58:50I can't have this baby.
00:58:52I'm sorry, Em.
00:58:54I'm just getting my business off the ground
00:58:56and I'm finally
00:58:58getting my shit together and
00:59:00now...
00:59:02You don't even know if you're pregnant yet.
00:59:04That's what the test is for.
00:59:06That's what the test is for.
00:59:10Plus, even if you are
00:59:12pregnant, it doesn't mean you can't follow your dreams.
00:59:14You just have to do what the baby
00:59:16into.
00:59:18It's gonna ruin everything. And Dylan...
00:59:20Dylan loves you.
00:59:22Yeah. Me.
00:59:24Not me plus a kid.
00:59:26Now...
00:59:34Okay, I think I'm ready.
00:59:36To be a mom?
00:59:38Shut up. To pee.
00:59:40Alright, now. Go, girl.
00:59:42I'm not peeing with you watching.
00:59:44Really? Lame.
00:59:46After everything we've been through?
00:59:48I'll call you back when I have the results.
00:59:50Fine.
00:59:52Good luck. Or break a leg.
00:59:54I'm not sure.
00:59:56Whatever happens,
00:59:58I'm here for you.
01:00:00Oh, and Em?
01:00:02Yeah?
01:00:04If you are pregnant,
01:00:06can I be the godmom?
01:00:12Okay.
01:00:14Picture
01:00:16a waterfall
01:00:18flowing into a deep
01:00:20lagoon.
01:00:22Picture
01:00:24a waterfall
01:00:26flowing into a deep
01:00:28lagoon.
01:00:44Are you lying on the floor?
01:00:46Yeah.
01:00:48It's a new form of yoga.
01:00:50You hate yoga.
01:00:52You always say I look stupid in child's pose.
01:00:56Emma, what's wrong?
01:00:58And don't say nothing.
01:01:04I'm late.
01:01:06Babe, the party's at our house. You can't be late.
01:01:08No, I mean my period.
01:01:10My period is late.
01:01:12Oh.
01:01:14So...
01:01:16What does that mean exactly?
01:01:18What does that mean exactly?
01:01:22It could mean nothing or...
01:01:24It could mean I'm pregnant.
01:01:28I'm so sorry.
01:01:30I don't know how this happened.
01:01:32And I wasn't buying you
01:01:34Cheetos earlier.
01:01:36I was buying this.
01:01:38And um...
01:01:40I don't know what it says yet.
01:01:42And I'm really scared.
01:01:44And I think it's time to look.
01:01:46I'm sorry for ruining your birthday, Dylan.
01:01:48I really, really wanted today to be perfect.
01:01:50You've just been so good to me
01:01:52ever since we got together.
01:01:54Emma, just calm down.
01:01:56And after starting my business
01:01:58and you've been helping me
01:02:00with that and we don't have any money.
01:02:02So it's just like the worst
01:02:04possible time ever.
01:02:06I don't know what to do.
01:02:08I'm so scared.
01:02:10Emma Renee Arnaz.
01:02:12You're going to make yourself sick.
01:02:14You need to breathe.
01:02:18See?
01:02:20Everything's going to be okay.
01:02:22How can it possibly be okay?
01:02:24Because no matter
01:02:26what that test says,
01:02:28we're going to figure it out together.
01:02:30Because no matter what that test says,
01:02:32we're going to figure it out
01:02:34together.
01:02:36But we're not ready.
01:02:38You don't know that.
01:02:40Having a baby is hard no matter what age you are
01:02:42or what your job is.
01:02:44But you and me, we can get through anything.
01:02:50I love you, Dylan.
01:02:52I love you, babe.
01:02:56Now go look at that test.
01:02:58We'll do it together.
01:03:12Phew.
01:03:14Oh my god, I'm not pregnant.
01:03:16Oh my god.
01:03:18Yeah.
01:03:20I know you said we could do it
01:03:22but like I really wasn't ready yet.
01:03:24That would have been one hell
01:03:26of a birthday present. I mean, something
01:03:28I always wanted, just a few years too early.
01:03:30Do you mean it?
01:03:32With me?
01:03:34Of course with you. And of course I mean it.
01:03:36With all my heart.
01:03:38Oh, shit.
01:03:40I have to go.
01:03:42Let me guess.
01:03:44Amanda's already named our baby.
01:03:46Pretty much.
01:03:48Get ready, babe,
01:03:50because the party is back on.
01:03:52Are you still having water tonight?
01:03:54No way.
01:03:56I need you to get back into that store
01:03:58and buy me the biggest
01:04:00bottle of wine they have.
01:04:02You got it, babe.
01:04:04Oh, and Dylan?
01:04:06Yeah?
01:04:08Happy birthday.