00:00This simple phrase
00:04To kids from 1 to 92
00:08Although it's been said
00:14Many times, many ways
00:16Merry Christmas
00:20To you
00:30I didn't know whether you'd turn up
00:38Especially today
00:40I can't even order summons from the mighty Cain Dingle
00:46You didn't answer me letters
00:48And you didn't get the message
00:50I thought maybe you couldn't read
00:54I can read
00:56You big overachiever
00:58Why didn't you send my kids Christmas presents?
01:02Because it's Christmas
01:04Christmas Happy Year
01:06So you're a murderer then, yeah?
01:08You shot a man at Point Blank Range
01:12Oh no, he didn't tell me
01:14I saw it on the news
01:16Get you with your infamy
01:18So that's how you found it?
01:20I didn't tell you
01:22I saw it on the news
01:24Get you with your infamy
01:26So that's how you found me?
01:28Yeah, it was pretty easy in the end
01:30There's a lot of information out there
01:32When you know where to look
01:34And I was very sad to find out about your loss
01:38It's not easy losing a mother
01:40At any age
01:42And I was a little bit surprised as well
01:44Considering you told me
01:46You told me that she was dead 30 years ago
01:56Am I allowed to buy coffee?
01:58For my brother?
02:00For my brother?
02:12So you're a murderer and a liar
02:14She was dead to me when I told you that
02:16It's justified, Cain
02:18Weakly
02:20I don't need to justify myself to you
02:22Well that rolled off to Tom nice and easy
02:24Not your first time saying that, is it?
02:26I bet it's your catchphrase
02:28Is that why you come here, Caleb?
02:30To be a clever guy?
02:32You told a young boy
02:34Who was picking his way through a pretty dismal life
02:36A boy
02:38Who reached out to you for help
02:40I didn't know you were any help
02:41Justified
02:42Cain
02:43Weakly
02:44You told him that his mum was dead
02:46And you let him believe it for 30 years
02:48You'd have let me believe it for the rest of my life
02:50You'd have let me believe it for the rest of my life
02:52If you hadn't have off some no mark and got yourself caught
02:56You're 40 odd years old
02:58And you get yourself wound up about some mother you never even knew
03:00Sounds like you've got more issues than I can sort out
03:04You think I need you to sort me out?
03:08I've been to places you've never even seen in magazines
03:10I've got shirts that cost more than your mortgage
03:12I came here in a car that you couldn't afford at half price
03:16And you came in the back of a van
03:20Sounds like you're doing alright
03:22And you obviously wanted to tell me that so
03:24Now that you have
03:25I just wanted to know me family
03:32I just wanted to know where I came from
03:36You know your mother's faith she had a fling with
03:38I don't know her she wanted it kept secret
03:40So she binned you off
03:42That's a nice phrase
03:43And the first I heard of you is when you turned up saying
03:45Please be my big brother
03:46And what a cracker you've been
03:49Well like you said you've done alright
03:52So what was it like growing up?
03:56You wanna know my life history right here now?
03:58Give me a highlight
04:03I once won a raffle
04:06If you're looking for some big connection
04:07You've come at the wrong time
04:09I don't know if you've noticed but I've got a lot going on at the moment
04:11You'll be wanting visitors though
04:13You don't know me very well
04:14Yeah that's sort of the point of this
04:16No there is no point to this
04:18We're related
04:19Which was neither of our doing
04:21Which means nothing to me
04:22There are however billions of people in this world
04:24And you're just another one of them
04:26End of
04:29I'm sorry you feel that way
04:30You'll be fine
04:38Merry Christmas Mr Scrooge
04:46What a lovely surprise
04:47I wanna make sure you understand me
04:50Ah perfectly yeah it's a very clear laugh
04:53About where you stand
04:54Billions of people and I'm just one of them end of
04:57Am I right?
04:58You stay away
05:00I've gone away
05:01Look is that all it was?
05:02Cos we're not all stuck in prison
05:03Some of us have got places to be
05:05Not just from me
05:06But from my family
05:08Like Kyle and Isaac you mean?
05:10Well that's a bit harsh
05:12I'm their uncle
05:13You mean nothing to them
05:14And Debbie's
05:16And Nate's
05:17And I'm also
05:18Moira's brother in law
05:20And then there's Chas of course
05:22Now Chas
05:23Me sister
05:24She might not feel the same way you do
05:26You stay away and you leave them alone
05:28Or you wish you hadn't
05:29You're getting me?
05:30Yeah like I say it's a very clear line
05:32Anyway I've gotta go
05:34You have a great night
05:44Chas?
05:59Are you Chas?
06:00Yeah and you are
06:03But I'm Caleb
06:05I'm Faith's son
06:08I'm your brother
06:14I'm Bill
06:15I'm
