SurrealEstate - Season 3 Episode 3 -
Death Does a Refi
#CinemaJourney
Death Does a Refi
#CinemaJourney
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Previously on Surreal Estate.
00:02Me too.
00:03Megan is seeing a urologist.
00:05What's his name?
00:06Hunter.
00:07What is happening to me?
00:08He has a demon in him.
00:10Wake up!
00:14Executive director.
00:15That's a wonderful show.
00:18I'm afraid I broke my promise.
00:20You're fired.
00:21712 Riverwalk is hitting the market.
00:24It's me.
00:25Can I get an amen and a hallelujah?
00:28Elvis the Elephant.
00:47Morning.
00:58I'm sorry.
00:59I'm sorry.
01:00I'm sorry.
01:01I'm sorry.
01:02I'm sorry.
01:03I'm sorry.
01:04I'm sorry.
01:05I'm sorry.
01:06I'm sorry.
01:07I'm sorry.
01:08I'm sorry.
01:09I'm sorry.
01:10I'm sorry.
01:11I'm sorry.
01:12I'm sorry.
01:13I'm sorry.
01:14I'm sorry.
01:15I'm sorry.
01:16I'm sorry.
01:17I'm sorry.
01:18I'm sorry.
01:19I'm sorry.
01:20I'm sorry.
01:21I'm sorry.
01:22I'm sorry.
01:23I'm sorry.
01:24I'm sorry.
01:25I'm sorry.
01:26I'm sorry.
01:27I'm sorry.
01:53Hey.
01:54Is Dr. Donovan here?
01:55She's with a patient.
01:56Can I just leave her this? It's her sweater.
01:59Who are you?
02:01A friend. Luke Roman.
02:04Wait over there.
02:22Luke! Hi!
02:25I said you'd be out here.
02:27Hey, I brought you this. You left it at the heart the other night.
02:31Oh, thanks.
02:33You didn't have to make the special trip.
02:36Nah, it's on my way.
02:38So, how are you?
02:43I'm sorry. Luke, I gotta go.
02:46Yeah, go. You go.
02:49We'll catch up later.
02:55Whistling
03:00Is that one of ours?
03:02Or one of theirs?
03:05A security guard, a department head, and a gentleman in a suit wearing an earpiece
03:12all watched me clean out my desk and escorted me out.
03:16Well, we brought back all your stuff.
03:19Settled up just like you asked.
03:21I hope it feels like home.
03:22Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
03:28Robert Frost.
03:30And Rochelle, she is cool with all this.
03:32Rochelle just wants me to be happy, even when she says it through clenched teeth.
03:37She is a prize.
03:39But to be clear, I have no regrets about my brief Asdra sabbatical.
03:46I was reminded of and humbled by the awesome inspirational power of unlimited funding,
03:53unburdened by supervision and accountability.
03:56There is that.
03:58If we just get the Pope to fire Father Phil, we would be back on top of the world.
04:03Phil Orley is a rare gem.
04:06Very few of his parts are interchangeable.
04:09Any ideas?
04:10I play an online RPG, a role-playing game, on Thursday nights.
04:16It's sort of a Game of Thrones-type world, only it features llamas instead of dragons.
04:23Oh.
04:25It's called Alpacalypse.
04:28Anyway, there's a young man in the group who did some freelance work for us at Asdra.
04:33He's brilliant.
04:35Call him. Bring him in for an interview.
04:37That could be problematic.
04:38Strictly speaking, Tag doesn't actually leave his apartment.
04:43What, like ever?
04:47I'm late for a showing.
04:49We do like a video conference later? Does he do that?
04:52Constantly.
04:54Okay. Well, I'll have Lomax cover my open house.
04:57Set it up?
05:03Anne Gregory's new school is like five minutes away.
05:05Oh, perfect.
05:07Wanna go take a look?
05:09Okay.
05:11Is it possible things are finally going my way?
05:14You have some good luck coming, Isabel.
05:17You know, I never thought I'd be able to afford something like this.
05:20My real estate guy beat him up so bad on the price, he just wore him down.
05:24And then he got the bank to squeak me by on the loan.
05:27Oh, that's great!
05:29Isabel!
05:31Hey!
05:33You ready to do this?
05:35Yeah.
05:39All right. Why don't you go take a look around,
05:42make sure they fix that stucco in the back and replace the tile in the shower.
05:45Will do.
05:49Thanks for being so nice to my sister.
05:51She is a wonderful lady and a great mom.
05:55She's had such a tough time. Her ex is such a jerk.
05:58But now she has a new job, a new house.
06:01Fresh start.
06:03Things are finally going her way.
06:05Yeah.
06:16It's been over a year. You should have it.
06:18If you don't have it, check your files.
06:20Well, that's not my problem.
06:22Get it done.
06:24Everything okay, Keith?
06:26They're killing me.
06:28We can't start tearing this place down until we get the last permit for the demolition.
06:30But now, now they want to see the soil survey we did 18 months ago
06:34before they let us start grading the roads.
06:36The engineer must have that on file.
06:38Any delay is going to cost us a fortune.
06:41See, that's why you were smart to partner with Roman Ireland.
06:43We can help with this stuff.
06:45We'll get our people on it ASAP.
06:47Thanks.
06:49Did they clear out the house?
06:51All the good stuff went to auction.
06:53The junk is in the barn out back.
06:55We've had some vandalism there.
06:57You think it's kids?
06:58Yeah, kids.
07:00It's all fun and games until they step on a rusty nail and daddy calls their lawyer.
07:04I was just going to check on the house to make sure we're ready for the bulldozers.
07:07Okay.
07:09Hey, Keith.
07:11Don't worry. We got this.
07:29And then I spent two years doing tech support.
07:32It was a company that created and sustained the illusion that they sold color printers
07:36but were actually in the ink business.
07:38And they promoted me three times, and it could have been four,
07:40but I would have had to move to Salt Lake City,
07:42and I detest choral music and sodium chloride.
07:44So I began to do freelance land survey analysis for energy companies
07:47as well as online book reviews,
07:49and I was able to get a lot of good reviews.
07:51I was able to get a lot of good reviews,
07:53and I was able to get a lot of good reviews,
07:55and I was able to get a lot of good reviews,
07:57and I was able to get a lot of good reviews,
08:00Submarines?
08:02Oh yeah. There's a million things that can go wrong.
08:04Life support, weapons, power plant,
08:06and then of course the New Virginia class attack subs
08:08replace traditional periscopes with two photonics masks
08:11that host visible and infrared digital cameras at the end of telescoping arms.
08:14Picture the 18 armed Hindu warrior goddess Durga in a wet suit
08:17riding a snorkeling tiger hurling Tomahawk cruise missiles,
08:19UGM-48 missiles, and MK-48 torpedoes.
08:23Well, we'll try.
08:24try. Now that's a movie. We need someone to do our research. Title searches, property histories,
08:30who lived in the house before or died, and more than a little digging into mythology.
08:37Mythology? You mean like digging up dirt on Hera and Zeus? Not exactly. Because it is out there.
08:44We deal more in the residual unpleasantness that could impact a home's resale value or time on
08:50market. We need someone who can provide a 360-degree view of a property's past and present.
08:56Generate a hypothesis around any metaphysical anomalies and possible amelioration of say.
09:04And this is a job. Look, the last person in the position, they spent a lot of time visiting
09:08archives, old dusty basements, digging up little-known facts that never made it
09:12into the digital record. They walked property lines. They interviewed family members.
09:18Well, I have relationships with every archivist in the area, as well as clerks, curators, and
09:22historians, recognized experts in virtually every field. Everything is somewhere. We just need to
09:27find it. Some of the things you'll be researching are a bit out there. Oh, I have no problem with
09:33out there. I just need to do it in here. Excuse me, I need to take this.
09:40Can you tell me a little bit about the homeowners association fees?
09:44I, uh, I don't actually have that information offhand. I'm covering for my associate Luke.
09:54This is really his property that he's at the lead on. He should be by anytime soon now.
10:02I'm sorry, I didn't get your name? I'm Madison. And yes, I'll wait.
10:08I'm sorry, but, uh, we're gonna have to get going.
10:16Yeah, well, Susan, she's tracking down some soil samples for a huge developer client.
10:21She was gonna cancel her date tonight, but I said we'd handle it. Priorities.
10:27Thanks for your time, but, uh, I'm afraid we'll look for someone a little more mobile.
10:33It was nice to meet you. See you Thursday night. Alpaca lips. Absolutely.
10:42Interesting kid. I think you may have judged him a bit harshly.
10:51Lomax. Hey, Madison.
10:55Who? Of course, some are gonna die. They're old.
11:02Who says too many? What's too many? Wow, that is a lot.
11:15Okay, I'm gonna have to call you back.
11:18Seven, been a while. What are you doing here?
11:21Mac, you look fit. I know.
11:25The skin I lucked into this time is amazing. And he's rich. He warehouses
11:30the pre-deceased while killing them slowly with golf and water aerobics. It's brilliant.
11:35And no one remembers? What, Elvis the elephant?
11:40Nah, I fuzzed them all out. To them, Elvis is just some nightmare they had once and don't remember.
11:51You were all laughing at me, weren't you? You're all laughing, saying,
11:58poor cares Malik, sunk in a pond by a mortal brat and his father.
12:03There was some laughter. Yeah, I bet I can tell you who.
12:11Nurgle said it. Mormal, right? That smug, smarmy piece of shit.
12:18Malik. Look, I won't be laughed at, Seven.
12:22Malik, there is a space right now on the higher plane.
12:32Seven, you gotta hold me that spot. Look, I was just gonna kill the guy and move on.
12:38Then I thought, Luke Roman is no ordinary doofus. He has this link across the veil,
12:46talks to him, negotiates with him. Just imagine if I could hop into his skin,
12:53open up a whole new territory. Death would no longer be the end for us.
12:59Why have you not done this already? Something about him resists it.
13:05I'm gonna find a way in. A weakness, an Achilles heel.
13:11Bingo bongo. This intrigues me, Malik.
13:15I'm going to give you more time, but remember, if you fail,
13:18if you inspire scornful laughter, oblivion will not be punishment enough.
13:25An eternity of agony awaits you. Sounds fair.
13:30So, I guess you two know each other. We've met.
13:51Okay. Well, I will leave you to it then. Okay?
13:56Okay. So, Madison. Madison?
14:03Mads. Luke.
14:06Love your work. Who are you?
14:09Really? Most people know me by my nom de guerre.
14:15Death. Well, that explains a lot.
14:26So,
14:46goddamn kids.
14:56So,
15:11I'm gonna call the cops and you can explain that shit to your parents.
15:26Get out of there! Banker!
15:45I gotta admit, I always pictured you as a redhead.
15:55So, why am I only seeing you now? I choose when I'm seen.
16:02And by whom? Why me?
16:05The oldest reason in the world. I need a favor.
16:10I'm not unaware of your special talents, Luke.
16:14You've helped many troubled souls across. I'm grateful.
16:20I'm just happy to help the ball club. Oh, here. Pull over here.
16:34Wait. I know this house. I sold it a couple years ago.
16:41There's a nice old guy moving into assisted living. What's his name again?
16:45Padgett. Raymond Padgett. That's it.
16:49Raymond became a client of mine a few days ago and he's having a bit of trouble moving on.
16:54Would you mind? Well, I could try.
17:03Yeah, he's in there all right. God, I wish I could do that.
17:11Susan Ireland.
17:18Um, Susan Ireland? Yes, who's calling?
17:21I'm a friend of August Ripley. I have some information for you.
17:24I'm sorry, you said August gave you this number? Look, if you're looking for soil studies done by
17:28Empire Engineering about the property in the vicinity of 38.332 degrees north and 123.041
17:34degrees west, I have some information. I don't understand. How did you know that?
17:37I hacked your car's GPS and that's where you were this morning. Anyway, the test was 20 cores
17:41and came in highly porous, less than six millimeter aggregates, and a whole lot of
17:45well-distributed roots. Yay. That's good? Oh gosh, yes. Very positive for development and
17:50construction. I can email you the complete report. Let me send you my email address.
17:54Nope, already got it. Should be coming through right about now.
17:59Who are you? How did you even know I was... My name is Tagg. I'm a friend of August's.
18:04Oh, but... Thank you, but... You might also be interested in hearing
18:09about the murder-suicide that took place on the property 70 years ago,
18:12but that's a story for another time. Business before pleasure, right?
18:16Wait a second. Oh, and you might tell Mr. Roman that
18:18perhaps mobility is highly overrated. Okay, have fun on your date tonight.
18:34Keith? Keith? Hello?
19:04Hi, we need to board your new bus. Keith?
19:22Keith?
19:53Oh my god, Keith!
20:07Goddamn bakers!
20:16Raymond?
20:17Raymond? Come on, Raymond. I know you're here.
20:30Raymond? Hello, Luke.
20:33Nice to see you again. You're with her?
20:40Yeah. She asked me for her help.
20:43Listen, what's the deal, Raymond? We've got a whole universe waiting for you.
20:52What are you doing in this musty old house? I can't find my pen.
20:59Pardon me? My pen. My lucky pen. I can't find it.
21:07Raymond, nobody can say for sure what waits for us beyond the veil, but
21:11I don't think there's a lot of paperwork.
21:18My granddad gave me that pen when I graduated college.
21:25I was the first in the family to do it. I signed my marriage license with that pen.
21:32And my first mortgage on this very house. Where was the last place that you saw it?
21:38Big roll-top desk up in the office. Top drawer. That's where I kept it. And it's not there.
21:44Okay. Wait here.
21:50So, I gotta ask. You're facing eternity and you ask for your real estate agent?
22:11Now you get to be a certain age, lose a lot of your friends. You of all people know that.
22:16When I sold this house, there was a lot of money on the table. And Luke, well, he could have screwed
22:24this old codger six ways to Sunday, but he didn't. I trusted him then, and I trust him now, and he...
22:40Where was it? In the office, just like you saw it. On the floor,
22:44where's between a baseboard and a rug. Thank you. See, here's what I can do. I can go to the
22:52cemetery in the morning, and I can dig just a big enough hole to put that in there. That way,
22:56you'll have it there forever, in a matter of speaking. Or I can drive over that assisted
23:03living place, find that nurse you like so much. What was her name again? The one that always
23:08let you beat her at cribbage. Jenny. She's a sweetheart. Jenny. Well, I could find Jenny. I
23:16could give her the pen, say it was from you. You used to sign her marriage license and her first
23:21mortgage, special things like that. Yeah, I believe that.
23:51Hello? I'm sorry, I seem to have forgotten your name. It's Tag. Hi, Susan. Hi, Tag. Sorry,
24:10you mentioned there was a murder-suicide in this farmhouse? Yeah, let me pull it up.
24:15Here, okay. The place belonged to an Ike and Margaret Gatlin. They got behind in payments
24:2151 was a bad year for Milo. But there's only Quinn here now. Back then, it was Milo. Anyway,
24:27the bank sent them a guy to serve them with an eviction notice, and he was never seen again.
24:31That same night, Ike shotgunned Margaret in the face before impaling himself on a pitchfork.
24:36Oh, that's why you called me the banker. What? Who called you a banker?
24:41Never mind. Anything else? Hello? Let's see. Nope, except the neighbor said that Margaret
24:48was terribly vain about her looks, and Ike had a terrible temper. Great. Okay, look, Tag,
24:54I need you to call 911 and get the cops and ambulance, okay? Susan, I can't. Tag? Tag,
25:04can you hear me? Susan.
25:06Oh, yes.
25:28Vain about her looks.
25:36So
26:06what?
26:12Hi, Susan. Tag, two quick questions. The banker whose body they never found,
26:17he was serving an eviction notice, right? Right. Second question, too crazy, Milo?
26:23Uh,
26:30in fact, they do not. Fun fact, most birds don't like Milo. I was not personally aware of that.
26:39I think I know what happened to the banker.
26:45Tag, I need you to-
26:52So
27:16Isabel? Hello?
27:22So
27:53The scarecrow.
28:08A client of mine, I found her passed out in the house. The ambulance just brought her in.
28:13Luke, I- No, she's okay. She's just the nicest lady. Luke, I'm sorry.
28:22So
28:53So
29:07I'm with the bank. There has been a mix-up with your paperwork, a bookkeeping error. These things
29:13happen. Thank goodness I got to you before this eviction notice was served. That would have been
29:19unfortunate. Anyhow, the notice is canceled. The farm is still yours as long as this stands.
29:27But I think you two have somewhere else to be, don't you?
29:48So
30:12You got this one wrong.
30:18She's young. She has a kid. She's just got her world turned around.
30:26Things are looking up. She just bought a house and she was nice. She was really nice.
30:33Why couldn't you take somebody mean?
30:36That's not the way it works and you know that. How the hell does it work?
30:39And what's it gonna take to get you to leave her alone? There's a ton of bad people in the
30:52world. Just take one of them or somebody old. Somebody that already lived a good life.
31:00Come on. Of all the souls I've run across,
31:06you're the only one.
31:12No can do.
31:22It was her time and when it's your time, you have to go. And she didn't have it coming.
31:31You all have it coming.
31:38So are you finished cycling through the stages of grief? Because I need another favor.
31:50Um, Todd? Maybe Susan?
31:55I'm so sorry I'm late. What a day. Oh yeah, tell me about it.
32:00Well, I'm working with this developer and I'm in real estate, so.
32:03Oh no, sorry. I don't, I didn't mean like. Oh, tell me about it. Just like the expression.
32:09Oh, hello. I need all the bourbon, please. Neat.
32:17My cat's dying. Oh no.
32:20Well, he's 18, so it's not like I struck down on his prime kind of thing still.
32:25They've become part of our lives.
32:27Have you had cats?
32:28Not yet, but I'm thinking I might end up with a lot of them.
32:32He was coughing this morning, but not like the hairball cough, like that.
32:37It was deeper, more phlegmy. So I was like.
32:42Anyway, that's how my day started. What was wrong like with yours?
32:46Um, well, for starters, I got locked in a barn.
32:51Oh, I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry. That that just reminded me of my dad. He, um.
33:03He got locked in a garage one time. Really?
33:07And he had died in there. Oh no.
33:11That was the summer he was going to teach me how to fly fish.
33:14So never again. No more.
33:23How bad can dying alone be?
33:41Luke?
33:44You can see me?
33:47Well, how exactly does that work? Forgive me for asking. I'm new here.
34:01Madison says you won't go.
34:03How can I? Gregory is alone.
34:08I owe a gazillion dollars to the bank.
34:11I'm starting my new job Monday. Timing really doesn't work for me.
34:17Isabel.
34:17I'm not saying I want a cheap death. We all got to go sometime. I get that.
34:23But why now? Why the hell now?
34:29Time is never right. But it's always the time.
34:37Gregory is with your sister.
34:41She and her family have taken him in and they are going to love him like their very own.
34:47Gregory will probably forget me in a month or two.
34:51No. He will never forget the strong woman who made him strong.
34:59Sure.
35:01Someday he'll stop hurting. Hopefully before too long.
35:06But forget you? Nope. Never.
35:15I can't leave him.
35:19I'll stay here somehow. People stay sometimes, right?
35:24Sometimes they do. But it never ends well.
35:30They're never happy. And neither are the people they think that they're helping.
35:37You know, sometimes, sometimes moms go away.
35:45And it only makes us stronger.
35:50So the best thing that you can do for Gregory and you
35:58is to go with Madison now.
36:06So
36:13So
36:32I suppose
36:43Thank you just go away
36:53It's been a hell of a week
37:12Tell me about it
37:14Let's see firstly Susan. I have created a scholarship fund for Gregory James in honor of his mother
37:19Nice woman that was taken from us too soon. We'll have a little something each month
37:23We'll encourage our more affluent clients to do likewise you're here moving on
37:28Congrats to Susan for keeping the arrow and heights development plan on schedule
37:33He's hookable remembers nothing and it's recovering nicely. Maybe this is the development client who won't fire us
37:40Finally Susan I am pleased to announce that
37:47Thornton please just tag. Sorry tag. Guinness is our new research associate
37:53Thank you. I look forward to getting to know all
37:56About each and every one of you in a not at all inappropriate creepy way
38:01And we have anything else to say
38:10Yes
38:20We're gonna blow this wall right we are now
38:28So, how was the date
38:30Yesterday I got chased through a field by a vengeful farmer ghost couple and nearly decapitated by a big sharp rusty
38:38Cutting thingy and that still wasn't the worst part of my day
38:42Seriously, I'm done with dating. I'm done with guys done with trying
38:49Promise my mom I'd be about more than
38:51work
38:53It would actually have a life, you know, maybe a companion a relationship
38:59Now I know that just means having a dog or a cat
39:04A dog
39:09Yes, Tyler got it, yep you bet
39:15Yeah, but to find you a place that's an improvement over where you are now, it's it's not gonna be easy
39:21Yes, they're out there
39:23No, no, not a lot of them, but we will find them. I will find them. I'll dig them up
39:30Yes, like a swine rooting out truffles
39:35Yep, okay, you bet. Thank you. Okay. Wow
39:42Yeah, he's I mean it's
39:45But that client selling his place finding him a new one. It's a new level. I just feel like we're playing in the majors
39:51It's a statement property, right? I mean, I feel like this could be a real turning point for me
39:57And by me, I mean us, of course
40:00And by me, I mean us, of course. Of course
40:08Except the drywall
40:10Pardon? Our construction all through college. I know drywall does when I see it. Oh
40:15It's just a
40:18Project, you know
40:24Luke
40:26When did it get so hard?
40:29What I miss my mom so much
40:35No matter how bad my day got I could just laugh with her
40:42No, I just cry
40:48You know, I don't think I'm a
40:50weenie
40:52Nobody who knows you would ever use that word
40:55ever
40:59I'm right there. I'm right there with you
41:16Wow officially the most depressing partners meeting ever didn't mean to be such a downer
41:29Do you need some help with Tyler? Nah, I got Tyler. I guess we'll both just do the best we can
41:39Susan
41:42I got your back always
41:47Yours too
41:58You